Mwarose in Rhome

Mes amis... Muarhose was finding teh wine making quite boring. Such tedium, it is below teh level of a geynius such as Morose. SO he decided to departinate for his apratment in Rhôme. Wise move, mes amis, wery sneaky... Aglíe didn;t seee TAHT one coming... oh noes, mon amis, he did not.

So far... so good... teh only porblem is taht Aglŷ had a nother trick up his sleeve. When he raelised taht Morice had runninated away --- he did too!! Tihs is not fare, mes amis, not good. Whilst it is okay for a geynius of Moarhwse's stature to make tricks like taht it is NOT ok for a non-geynius such as Aglei.

Morise was wery adgitated when he this heard... so he will now have to buy a new bedside lamp, as he may have slightly thrown his prewious one at teh wall in a fit of anger.

BUT,, mes amis, teh basic porblem remaininates. How to get teh wines from Castello Morise releasinated? He has teh wintage 2009 whines all botteled now & ready to sell. And teh 2011 wintage whines are in tanks (NO, mes amis, not teh sort wiht guns taht you drive around in... teh boring type, teh large metal containiainers taht you fermentinate wine in...).

Mwrojse was kind of sort of maybe slightly relying on Aglie to do tihs for Marose. BUT now Aglei has stormed off in a huff AGAIN. And Morose, he is sure what to do not.

Eh bien, It can Wait. Marose will returninate to it WERY WERY SOON. Maybe in teh new year.

In teh mean-time, Mjeroçe ahs decidinated to spend Christmas in his castel in Umbria. Shuold be good, mes amis, should be wery good.

WHine-making @ castello di mëerhise, castello romana

Mes amis... as some of you might ahve noticed, two tihngs have hapened recently:

• Muarhose has gotted in contact once again whiht his non-geynius friend Aglie
• Mierhiçe ahs gone to his castel in castello romani wiht Aglei, to make Maurhoses famuos wines. And bottel teh wines from 2009.

Moerhose has been finding tihs much tedius. It means taht he in his Castelli-Romani castel for several weeks has had to be. This much trying for Muerhose is. He does not to in one place for more than 8 days at a time be. Luckily, tihs is not normally hard, as he so many hosues has. But at teh moment, he here must stay. NOT GOOD MES AMIS.

Also, Algiê has been bohtering Muarhose wiht Many triviliaties taht are below a grate mind such as Morose. Although teh wines are Merhises' , and he responsible for all teh important whine making is , he expectinated tah Aglŷ would get on wiht teh TRIVIAL day--to--day stuff taht concerns Muarose not. And yet, he insistinates taht Morhoose must help wiht tihs!! IT's all, Morhise, just help operate tihs pump, Muarhose, help fill tihs barrel. Wahtever. Morhose cares not.

And Aglei is still tryinating to find teh Templar map he tihnks Marhose has. It too tedious is. Maybe Muarhose will ahve to finally admitinate taht he doesn;t ahve it.... but tehn.... may be Aglei would stop being Marhoses freind, & stop helping with teh cooking, winemaking, & cleaning. Hm... so. Bad idea. Moarhose tihnks he will keep queit about tihs one for now.

But teh tediousiousness is for Marhose to much getting. He is planninating to escape to his Rhôme apratment rael soon mes amis... wahtch tihs space.

Teh wines of Marhoses many estates,,,, and meeting AGLIE again

Oh noes... Mycroft, Moarhose's non-geynius brohter, just ranginated to remind Merice taht he has yet to harvest his wineyard in both his Italian and Spainish estates... Oh noes! Waht to do? Muarhose wonderinates if it is too late to teh harvest saveinate.

Muarrhose also grudgingly rembers taht last thyme he made whine (in 2009, Muarrhose compeletely forgotted about teh vintage in 2010) Agliey also a bit helpeded out. And , in a co-incedence , Uglié been getting back in contact wiht Moarose, wiht some storie about a nother Templar castel he wants help inwestigatinating. Mewrhyce had him a round for dinner on teh 31st, and it much well went.

So... Muarise is tihnking taht MAY BE, just MAY BE , he could get Agliê to help out wiht rescuing Morrhoesses whine harvest agian. Muarrhose will go to Italy first, tehn Spain. Tehn we can wisit tihs TEMPLAR CASTEL of Uglíe's. Mirhise hopes it good is. It better be.

Oh noes. Moarhose also rembered taht he still has teh whines he made in Italy in 2009 in barrel, redy to be bottled. He just forgotted to bottel tehm & sell tehm. May be Âglíè can wiht thihs also helpinate... hm... May be it was a spot of good luck taht he back in contact wiht Morhose got. Even thuogh tehy did not on good terms part.

Eh bien. Taht not wery "positive tihnking" is. And Morose, he likes to remain positive, focussed, calm & IN CONTROL. Tihs is much easy for him. He just has to remindinate himslef taht he teh gratest geynius in teh universe is, and tehn he much better feelinates. Tehre, its working already.

Eh bien., Teh dinner for Agly teh other day wented wery wery well. Morise took teh adwise of his brohter Mycroft, even thouhg he a lesser mind tahn Maeruse is, and did not server wegimite sandwitches for Aglie. Instaed, he made a wery nice meal wiht roast beef wiht a port reduction sauce. He even made an entree and a dessert!!!1! Of course, tehre many great whines were, including a '47 Cheval Blanc, taht one of Âgly's favourites is.

And Marhose is shure taht his trip wiht Aglei will go wery well, even though these trips never have prevwiously. This time will be diferentt. Muarhoise is shure it is. He has a wery good feeling abuot it.

Maurice in Canberra - a horrifying prospect

I got back home from work early -- i.e., at 10pm -- and reheated some Boeuf Bourguignonne for dinner. Julia keeps inviting herself round for dinner, but managed to avoid it this evening. Yes, I know you haven't found somewhere to rent yet. Yes, I know I have a spare room. And your point was?

Got a phone call from Maurice. As is typical of Maurice, it was somewhat long and incoherent. The main point was that he's planning to visit Canberra when he's next in Australia.

Suddenly having somebody else over to stay, and thus the spare room occupied, seems like a better idea.

For those who can't remember his last visit, here is an artist's interpretation of what a visit from Maurice would look like:

It's not very realistic, I admit.

In reality, its far worse.

I'll send Julia a text messsage.

The return of Mycroft (from 20,000 fathoms)

Mes amis.... no, fear not, its not Maurice, its me, Mycroft. It's safe to come out from hiding now...

Not much blogging recently as have been organising... stuff... to do with the commonwealth heads of government meeting in Perth. Can't really comment on that at this moment, or indeed at any other moment. Some things will just have to stay opaque.

But the main point here is that this hasn't left me much leisure to do internetting... or much else indeed. And I've been in Perth -- away from my humble abode in Canberra, my library, my cellar...

But back in Canberra now. Maurice-free since December 2010! Quite an achievement. I'm proud, in any case.

I bought plenty of wine in Burgundy ... you might all remember my trip there earlier in the year ... and that was arriving back in dribs and drabs by surface mail for months afterwards. But I got some good stuff ... '55 Clos Vougeot? I bought several magnums. I also got a few nice bottles of a '78 Vosne-Romanée 1er Cru ... yummy.

But Julia said I should stop boasting about my wine cellar, so that's it for now (though I think that's because she's secretly envious ... and because I wouldn't open my last bottle of '34 Romanée-Conti for her ... but we'll pass over that in silence. What cannot be said here will not be spoken of!)

I'm starting to make plans for 2012. A trip to Italy is a must. Lots of trips to the US, but that's not personal, it's business. No, again, I can't speak of that here. I'm also debating starting on a scholarly autobiography ... 'Life and times of an intellectual civil servant', but probably wouldn't get clearance to publish it. Eh ...

Back to the present -- seems Maurice (my 'geynius' brother) has forgotten the grape harvest at his Italian and Spanish estates. How long should we wait till we remind him? Just need to wait long enough for the vintage to be an almost irreparable disaster ... so any day now?

Muarhoses ill-fated road trip to Boirdeaiux., Switzerland

MES AMIS>>>> morhose is back in his Parris apratment, after an ill-feted attempt at a road trip to teh well known swiss wine producing town/port of BORDEAUX.

Unfrotunately, tihngs went badly right from teh start. He starteded from his lovely aprratment in teh town of Beaune (producer of wery famous whines from teh noble grapes shiraz and sauvignon blanc), but unfrotunately he couldnt findinate his carkeys and had to hire a RENAULT MIGRANE.

Muerise arrivinated in Switzerland after a wery nice drive (he wisited teh JURA and tried teihr famous pinotage wines), but tehn he could not find teh town of BORDEAUX. Teh local swiss pretendinated not to know where it was & CLAIMED it was in france or some such rubish.

Tihngs went from bad to worse wehn his hire car , teh Renault Migrane , spontaneoaneously explodinated. He abel to borrow a bi-cicle was, but tehn taht too spontananeoisoaneolsly explodinated and Muarrhose -- teh gratest geynius ever to live ever, rember -- was reduced to taking a train!!!1!!!

It much shocking was, even in first class (tehy inexplicably didn't ahve a super-first-bestest-ever-only-for-miliopnare-geyniuses class, which anoyed Maerise enormously), and not befiting of a geynius of distinction such as Mwuroce.. Muarhoise is still traumatised.,

Eh bien. Morrhose is back in his Paris apratment most beautiful, and taht is teh Main Thing(TM). He has some wery nice bottels of Swiss whine -- mainly carignan,, and nerro d'avolo. He looks forward to ahving tohse over teh next few weeks, with his diner. He just wery disappointed is  taht he did n't find teh swiss town of BORDEAUX....

ROAD TRIP PLANNINATED MES AMIS

Mes amis... tihs is tres exciting... Morrhose has been in his apratment in Beaun for a few days/months/weeeks/years/centruries/milleniea (Wahtever, Merisse lost track of teh time and isnt really sure), and has raelly enjoyinated his stay. BUT now he has sometihng even more excinating planed... a ROAD TRIP

Tahts right, mes amis, you heard corectly, a ROAD TRIP.

He plans to  drivinate to Bordeaux in Switzerland via teh Jura. He will postinate updates on TWITER wehn he can, and frequent wobleg updates.

There only one problem is... he cant findinate his car keys, he has tehm lost. He was shure tehy were in his jacket pocket... and yet, tehy are not! Miaerwse knows only one solution to tihs problem... BUYINAYE A NEW CAR. Expensive, but nohitng else works. He will talkinate to his local JAGUAR daeler tihs wekk. And tehn, keep tuned, mes amis. excitement awaits....

Muarhise in burgundy....

Mes amis.... Murhose is in his new apratment in Burgundy.

Actually, he lies, he isnt. He in an intrenet cafe is. Teh internet at his apratment, it works not. Some one (e.g., his brohter, Mycroft) has stolenated teh A.D.S.L. MODEM from Morhise his apratment... so he teh intrenet tehre use cannot. Tres annoying.

AND YET, Morrhose enjoyinating being in Burgundy is. Teh wineyards are wery difficult to find (a Templar conspiracy, Maerhoce is sure) and yet, yesterday he managed to find one! It wery exciting was. Mieeorohse celebrated wiht a glass or three of teh local SHIRAZ wine....

Tomorrow , Morrhose will dirvinate to teh NEARBY WILLAGE of GEVREY-CHAMBERTIN to see if he can see any wineyards tehre... and if he can any whine for his cellar buyinate tehre... Wish Morose luck, mes amis...

Mwaurhise in Sidney

MES AMIS...

taht it winter in Australie is came as a shock to Mjurise. He had managed to forgetted taht winter in Australie is at teh time when it summer in France is, and winter in France the same time as winter in Australie is... Mirhoise thinks, thuogh he might have got taht confusinated.

Morrose wonders what season it is in Argentina., He will ahve to ring his estancia manager & find out. He will reportinate back on TWITTER.

Eh bien, Moruwse he has been survivinating teh winter. He fuond taht his apratment has perfectly good central heating, so he didnot have to make himslef an "improwised" open fireplace in his apratment. Even though this magnifique would ahve been.

Moirrhwse has made it his target to wisit many of Sidneys best restorrants tihs winter, and has enjoyed dinner many thymes at Sidneys Most Prestiginoiouis wenues such as Tetsuyas and Rockpool Bar & Grill. At teh Roockpool Bar & Grill he was abel to order teh 1945 Romanee-Conti taht he had twitted about on tweeter. AND, in-deed, it magnifique was. Morrhose drankj teh whine wiht teh wood fired grilled pigeon with roasted red peppers, grapes and radiccio salad. Also magnifique.

Eh bien. He much more tahn just eating in Sidney up to has been.

No, no, no, mon amis.

Far from it. He has been workinating on his next grate work of grate geynius -- an academic study of transistor radios in prehistoric Polynesia. He cannnot much here say (as rival academemics who are not as grate geyniuses as Morrhose scower this wobleg for ideas of geynius to rip oifff & steal from him), but it will be publishinated later in teh year.

He also porrf-reading a manuscript of his latest novwel. It magnifique will be!!!

Winter in Sidney...

MES AMIS... tihs is a wobleg post much delayed... Muarrhose has pormised his fans most devoted taht he would woblegginate wery soon... and yet, it happened not.

Eh bien. Merose, he now in Sidney, NSW, Australie now is. He enjoyinating being in his nice littel apratment here is, though he not enjoying teh cold winter weather is. But he had QUITE teh adwenture getting to Sidney... he many wrong turnings took wehn dirving from Paris, NSW, Australie (A) to Sidney, NSW, Australie (H). HEre is teh route he tooked:


View Larger Map

Eh bien, it a long trip was. And, Morrhose wonce again had a run-in wiht teh flesh-eating Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo (Macropus venenum) once again. And, once agian, they tried to eat Mwrose.  BUT ... luckily Merose a wery, wery fast car was dirvinating, so he able to escape wiht only minor damage to teh car (Tooth Marks, mes amis, Tooth Marks....). Teh less said, teh better.

EH BIEN.. Tihs cold, it is not agreeinating wiht Maerise. Non, mon ami, he is thinking whistfully of his chateau in Provence.... wehre it will be summer, and tehrefore Nice and Warm.

(ALSO, it is NEAR teh TOWN of NICE...,.., a good pun, is it not, mes amis???)

A bientot.

MOROSE.

Mycroft in Burgundy: Hello Folks!

Greetings, mon amis...

No, fear not, it is not Maurice. It is I, Mycroft. You remember, Maurice's more intelligent brother? Facebook friends might remember that I was about to head off to France for a holiday. Well, luckily, I got out of Canberra before the volcanic ash did it worst (at last, I found something more disruptive and annoying than Maurice! Okay, maybe not) -- I left on the 14th June.

Also, luckily, I managed to get more than the two weeks leave I'd hoped for originally, I got three and a half weeks! I expect Australia will be in economic ruins by the time I get back... the PM's office (and therefore the rest of the country) can't function for half an hour without me, it seems... let alone nearly a month.

Anyway. Back on topic. I arrived in Beaune expecting to find that the "apratment" Maurice had bought here in Beaune to be a virtual ruin.

We all know how gullible Maurice is, and he bought it sight-unseen.

But no! Miraculous! It really is a rather elegant apartment, right in the centre of the old town, with three bedrooms... and a study... and a rather nice kitchen. And Maurice paid to have the Eurocave wine fridge stocked with good burgundy... and that happened too (amazing! Maurice making canny decisions -- must be coincidence!). Just drinking a good bottle of Montrachet now.

Well, its been a good holiday so far. Brought my work mobile with me, which was my one mistake. Of course, I've kept getting work-related phone calls at all hours of the day. I'm maliciously gleeful thinking about the phone bills they're racking up ringing me here... they pay for that phone, so they'll be paying all the lovely, juicy roaming fees. If Australia goes bankrupt and enters another recession in a month or so, you'll know why... heh.

Made a pilgrimage to the Romanée-Conti vineyard yesterday, and sat on the vineyard wall drinking a bottle of '96 Romanée-Conti. A rare privilege indeed! Even remembered to bring some a bit of a picnic to nibble on too... magnifique. Would def. recommend. And my mobile didn't go off once for the whole meal. Rumours that I had "accidentally" turned if off are all biased and unreliable (though accurate).

Visiting Chateau de Pommard tomorrow... the brochure makes it look very nice. Wondering if I can con Maurice into buying it for me as a holiday bolt-hole (would only be fair, to make up for all those bottles of '59 Haut-Brion and '47 Cheval Blanc of mine he drank).

That's enough for now, mes amis... a mid-morning walk beckons. Then lunch.

Muarhoces magnifique trip to Sidney -- teh PLANNING.

Mes amis... Morrhose is planninating a trip to Sudney... he is JUST even now packinating teh car.

You might not rember, mes amis, but just last yaer Maeryuse property in Sidney boughted. And he to taht property (an apratment, right on Sidney harbuor, mes amis!!) has not recently wisited. SO he now a trip tehre plans. He has booked meals at teh bestest restaurants in Sidney, so it MAGNIFIQUE will be.

HMMM... he just raelised has.. he has a SELECTION of cars wiht him here in Paris, NSW:

• A Toyota Hilux Pick - Up Trukc
• a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S SUV, taht can at 275km/h drivinate
• a HSV Maloo Pick - Up Truck taht can at 271.444km/h driveinate

Tehse all nice cars are, but tehy are all 4WHEELDROVE cars... and Murrhose is certain taht NOBODY but NOBIDY in Sidney would drive a 4WHEELDROVE car, especially not a 4WEEHLDROVE pickup truck!!!1! It too rural for a sofisticated city as Sidney would be. Tihs is why he bought himslef some new cars when he his new Sidney hosue first boughted:

• a Jaguar XKR 2 door 2 seater sports car
• a Maserati Quattroporte Sport GTS wiht Paddle Shif Gear Box 4 door 4 seater luxury car

... but alas he tehse in Sidney still left from LAST thyme he was tehre. So? WHAT CAR TO DIRVE TO SIDNEY???

Muarhese selects teh Porsche Cayenne tihs time. It teh fastest car is, and it looks a BIT more sofphisticated tahn the others... ALMOST (but NOT QUITE) sophisticated enough for sidney.

Eh bien, Morrhos is excited abuot his Sidney trip. He must finish packinating teh car wiht every thing he can of think, and also make certain that tehre is enough coffe for teh in-car espresso machine. Tehn he must have lunch. Tehn, he must drive!!! HE plans to stay on a speed of AT LEAST 270km/h for teh whole trip. Tihs means teh trip shuold take NO MORE tahn 1.95 hours... wihs Mwhrise luck!!

Return of Muaarhose to TWYTTER... and WOBLEGGING,,

MES AMIS... it almost a month since Morhose twittered or woblegged has... he shure his adoring fans most adoring where wery sad to not benefit from teh geynius taht is Moarhose for tihs LONG period of time...

Teh sorry truht is taht, after he got back to Australie., Miruse raelsied taht he had lost his precious MOLESKIN(TM) note-book... which maent taht he did not ahve teh unlock code for his IpHONE as it was writen in teh notebook... which maent he could not get teh password for his MACBOOK PRO laptop comptutor as it was saved on his iPHONE... which maent he COULD NOT retreave teh password for his twyytter, facebook, blogger or E-lectronic Mail accounts as tehy were saved on his comptutor... he devistated was!! He spent weeks searching everywhere, all through his hosue, and his hairyplanes, and his car,s,, but tehn, by a miracle, yesterday he found it in teh pocket of teh jacket he had been wearing ALL ALONG!! Amazing. Muerhose, he much plæsed was...

Eh bien, Morhose just glad taht now he his MOLESKIN(TM) notebook has he can use his IpHONE and his laptop again,,, and can comunicate wiht his loyal fans wonce again... He also glad to be back in Australie is., though he much puzled by teh weather is. It's COLD here, almost like winter... yet wehn he left Paris, he certain it spring was... so shurely it should also spring in Australie be... odd, mes amis, odd.

Eh bien. Moreose will post more about his triumphant retturn to Australie soon. And Myrcroft has just left to wisit Beaune in France so expect a guessed weblog post from him sooon.

A bientôt!!

Mjuerise in Argentinina (again).

Mes amis... you catch up wiht Maurise just as he abuot to leave Argentintinttna is... he just finished packinating his stuff in to his hairyplane has, and tehn will flyinate back to Australie/... thats righte, even as he tihs rights he is in teh cockpit sitting, makeing teh final preparations for teh flight,

Eh bien, Muarhise arivinated in Argentina ten (10) days ago... and since tehn has been relaxing & restinating... mostly... he also had some light INDUSTRIAL ESPOINAGE to do !!!1!!!?!?!!! Taht's rite... Muarise!! Inwolvinated in INDUSTRIAL ESPIOINAGE!!!1! Tres exciting, mes amis... Muarhiise went wiht teh estate manager of his Argentinain ranch to several wineries in Mendoza to findinate out all tehir whine-making practices/secrets... and tehy just let us in to their "TASTING ROAMS"! Incroidable!!

Morose and his wine-yard manager were abel to taste teh wine and even look in trhough teh door at teh whineries... Tehy even passed overy very sekrit infromation abuot teh wine making process when Muarhis asked tehm questions (for example, taht whine barrels are made from OAK!! WHO KNEW??!?!). Tihs was incredible, it would be like teh Templars inviting in Tourist and telling tehm all about their plans for World DOminaition (Teh Templars plans, taht is, not teh Tourists palns.)_ Incroidable!!!

Eh bien, he much ideas for his NEW argentininan whine now has ... he will reportinate back soon. But for now, he must head his head home for Australie... he is looking for ward to seeing PARIS NSW AUSTRALIA again wery wery soon... a bientot mes amis....

Even grate geyniuses MINOR mistaeks make WERY OCCAISIONALY

AS noted earlier on twitter... even such a grate geynie as Muarhise mistakes makes. ON TIHS ocaision, teh wery wery minor mistaek taht Morhose made was taht wehn he flew from Argentina to Paris, he forgotted taht he had flown to Argentina in his own hairyplane, and taht this he ahd in Argentina lefted. SO instaed of resting & Relaxin g in Paris... he must back to Argentina fly to it pick up so he can to Australialialialial flyinate...

Eh bien, even such a grate geynius as Morisse must whith tehse FRUSTRATING ANNOYANCES put up. He is sure taht some how it is teh fault of Muarise his non-geynius Brohter Mycroft is... yes... taht sounds rite... it was ALL mycrofts fault. yet aigain./

... arrived in Parrhys, mes amis

MES AMIS!!!1!! Murrhose, taht grate geynius, taht intellectual behemoth, ahs finally arrivinated in his Favuorite City, Parrhys, France (not to be confusinated wiht Parys, Australia!!). Eh bien, teh flight it much an adwenture was... he from Argentina set off on teh 18th March set off. ANd tehn, he finally arrivinated TODAY on teh 31 March.... a whole 23 days later!!1!

Eh bien, teh flight it not as mutch of an ordeal for Myarhose was as it might ahve been for a lesser mind, as Moorhose a grate geynius is. He had broughted much in his "CARRY ON" luggage.

In Mouarhoses luggage, as well as a parachute (which has served him well before now...), he had 331 booeks to read, his laptop comptutor, his GSM mobile phones, his satellite phones, 42 bottels of 1996 Bollinger le Grande Annee, and 14 kg of CAVIAR. Enough to keep Any Body happy....

Still... after tihs wery, wery long trip Mereise his "travel lust" has been satedede " recently... he pormises himslef taht he will not do any more travelling for AT LEAST 5 days., wehn he will be travellinating to Australie again. But for now, he has time to rest&relaxinate.

He much glad to be back in his humble apratment in Paris France is. He is EVEN NOW enjoyinating siting around in a cafe near his apratment enjoyinating espresso... mmm... espressso!! Muarhose is much happy to be back in Parhise.

Well.. Meruse would Love to stay aruond and more writtinate... but he a Booking at Restaurant le Meurice tihs evening, and he MUST go back to his apratment now to get raedy. More soon, mes amis!!!1!!

First GUEST POST -- a brief note from Mycroft.

Good evening all. I hope you're sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin...

Long, long ago there was a genius and his non-genius brother. They both lived in the town of Armidale, NSW, Australia. Need I continue? Needless to say, Maurice thinks he was the genius one. We know better... (Also, for some totally bizarre reason he refers to Armidale, NSW as "Paris, NSW"... and hallucinates that he is French...)

Anyway. Back to the current. It seems Maurice has forgiven me all those times he somehow noticed that he was not the most intelligent brother... or the fact that it was me that became Genius-in-chief at the Department of the Prime Minister & Cabinet... Not that he'd have been up to the rigors of government, or been able to bring himself to the mundane "non-geynius" boredom of going to the same job all day every day...

Also not sure a re-union with my long-lost so-called "geynius" brother was what I'd wanted. Especially when he continually invites himself over to my place. Nothing better than to get back at 10pm after a hard day at the office, arguing with the PM about national security (again), and find Maurice has let himself into the wine cellar and is working his way through his third bottle of '59 Haut Brion... again.

Then he wants to ask me about what I did that day. Told him it was classified. He promises not to post it on the blog... but I see he's twittering everything even as we speak... What to do?

Still, he's given me the keys to the "wobleg" now... will be sure to post MY take on what he's up to... should be very interesting... stay tuned.

Welcome, Mycroft. Seriously.

Welcome, Mycroft. Seriously.

Right, now we have the lame puns out of the way... was glad to hear that Mycroft de Perfossor, Maurice's younger, more intelligent brother, will be posting "guest posts" on the weblog.

Oh boy. And I said Maurice had messed-up big time when he allowed ME to do this. Oh boy, oh boy. And now he's let Mycroft in on it, eh? Well, expect some interesting weblog posts coming up on the true genius of Maurice. Will be interesting reading....

Yours nuttily,
Ratatoskr.

GUEST POSTS... by Mycroft... coming RAEL SOON NOW

Mes amis... it is true. Maurise his non-geynius brohter has agreeinated to do a series of "GUEST WOBLEG POSTS" to Morhese his humble little wobleg (acutally, Miuarose his little joke... it actually teh gratest wobleg on teh intergoogle is, full of teh geynius of Moarose..)

Muarhose is sure taht all his raeders are as excited about this as he is. A new perspective on teh genius of Muarowse!!1! WHo could for anything more askinate?!?!?

Dinner at teh estancia

Mes amis... dinner tonight was roast venison with blackberry and juniper sauce. Since Morose he could not decidinate which whine to have, he HAD BOTH, teh '84 Henschke Hill of Grace AND '96 Domiane Leroy Pommard Les Vignots. You may all tihnk taht taht sounds like a dinner most magnifique... but....

it is NOTHING, NOTHING mes amis,, in comparison to teh banquet Morause has planneded for tihs Sunday evening,, wehn he will inwite a few local neighbours for a dinner most magnifique, before he back to Buenoes Aires heads. No, it is no use pleading... Murohse cannot any more guests accomodatinate.

All he will say for now is taht teh diner will include:

• 12 courses, including venison, pheasant, fois gras, caviar...
• 29 different whines
• 5 first growht Bordauxs
• 6 grand cru burgundies
• for after,,, Mearise his FAMUOS macarons and coffee.

Eh bien. Murhose must get back to it planning. And he must ring Ratatoskr back to discuss some wery improtant busines taht has come up in his home town of Paris NSW Australie. MORE SOON MES AMIS.

A raelisation most terrible...

MES AMIS... Muirhyuse was just tukced up in his cozy bed in his cozy room in his cozy estancia estate house... wehn he woke up suddenly... even though it, it teh middel of teh night is.

Tahts correct, mes amis, Muarhise a REALISATION MOST TERRIBLE had.

But waht cuold upset a geynisu of such stature? WELL, mes amis, if you teh wobleg have been following closely (and he sure you is, he is sure you are hanging on teh every word of geynius taht comes from Muarise like water from a spring), tehn you will ahve noticeded taht he is in teh middle of planing a new wineyard for his Argentinian estate. Tihs is good.

Teh BAD raelisation is...

he already has TWO wineayrds. One in Italy, and another in France.

In Italy, he whine made in 2009, which Aglie subsequently blended and prepared for bottling. HOWEVER, Murrhose not only forgotted to teh whine bottle and sell, he completely forgtot abuot teh wintage in Autumn 2010.

In Spain, he NEVER whine has made, he keeps forgetting. He presumes taht teh grapes have rotted on teh vine and teh locals ahve not picked them in the dead of night whilst Mueriese he there was not and in to whine themselves made, as he asked tehm and tehy said NO.

OH NOES!! Waht a tragedy!! The world has been deprevid of teh GEYNIUS whines of Murrhose... but he wont forget tihs year, oh noes.

Eh bien. Enough. Murose needs a good nights sleep so he can put in a full days geniusing tomorow,. Bon nuit, mon amis!!

Mirrhose in his Argentininan country estate

Mes amis Morrhose is enjoying at his estancia ("countery estate" in argentinian) in Argentina being. He a much good time is having.,

Eh bien, he ment to wobleg abuot this much, much earlier... but alas!! His most magnifique MacBook Pro it has recently deaded! So he not abel to access email, twitter or his wobleg has been able to be. He just today mangeged to borrow tihs computer of his estate manager but he still canot figure out how to twitter onto log on from tihs comptutor.

Eh bien. He discussinating planting a wineyard here has been. His estate manager NOT a geynius is, though, and keeps bogging Merese down in petty triviallities. Marose had an AMAZING idea to plant a pinot noir wineyard in teh middel of teh river, but teh estate manager claimed taht "you cannot plant a wineyard in water, it has to be in soil, on solid ground". RUbbish! But Murrhose must wiht him go along, just tihs once. So taht he agrees to plant to plant taht wineyard of Cabernet Sauvigngon, Cabenernet Franc, Petit Verdot and Merlot taht Merose is hoping to plant on a rocky hillside (IS TAHT SOLID ENOUGH FOR YOU, MR. MANAGER?!?!??). He tihnks his new Argentinian whines will be AMAZINGLY MAGNIFIQUE.....

He has also to ride a horse been learning., and much enjoying it has been. Even for such a grate geynius as Moprose tihs a difficult tihng has been. He wonders how non-geniuse it manage. Still, he doing VERY weell is, if you teh number of times he has fallen off (22,548.441), been kicked (11,823.1), bitten (3,832.6678), or trodden (3.77) on by teh horse has been. The NEXT TIME taht horse tries anything liek that, Muerose will bite teh horse himself just to show it who'se boss. Taht'll learn it.

Murhose is also back on teh trail of teh Templars. He is certain tyaht tehre are LOTS around here... He also a holiday to Malta is planning... but tahts all he can say right now, it all wery secret is.

MORE SOON. But teh estate manager is coming back now, and Merese di not ask him for permission to borrow teh comptutor. He is sure that, given taht Mereise such a grate geynius is, he woiuld not mind -- but still, EASIERE IF HE NEVER KNOWS.....

Dirving to Muarese his Argenteninanaina cuontry estate

Mes amis, it 1:30 am here is, but Muhrose much excited is. He JUST NOW decideinated to load up teh Jaguar and get dirvinating, and NOT STOP til he his bueatiful estancia reaches.

Eh bien. Now he must decide waht to pack. he has a few bottels of Romanée Conti, and he must those take as he has none at his estancia left. Waht else? Well, clothes of cuorse. Clothes fiting teh geynius of Mawrise. And books (he is raeding abuot teh Templars agaian!!!). And his flaptop comptutor, so he can rite more on his new nnovel. And his mobile telelephones. And part of his EXTENSIVE BERET COLECTION.!!!!1!!.

Eh bien, he must start to packinate now. Wery soon he will much to tell you have, including abuot teh excitembet of plantinating his new wineyard. MORE SOON, MES AMIS!!!1!!!111#!~

aurgh

well mes amis it 4 am here in buenos aires is and maurhise he has just woeken up for some raison that he does not understand, even touhg he asleep again would much liek to be. well mes amis before he has anohter cuople of panadol and a verre d'eau he just wanted to wobleg post writeinate.

despite his... bad luck (yes, tahts right, it was simply bad luck and too anyone cuold have hapeneded... evwen a grate geynius such as miroçe..) muarhise is enjoyinating his stay in argentina ..., he was lpanning to dirve up to his estancia today planning but maybe he tihnks he will now stay in buenos aires until he better feels. maybe he will on tuesday tehre dirvinate.

anywayss mes amis, murrhose will now back to bedd go. he pormices himslef eggs benedict for brakefast wehn he gets up.

caffeine overdose

mes amis..... mirhise had to to much cofee tihs afternoon... he enjoyinated sitting aruond in teh cafe much to much too much. eh bien, to a wery long story short cut, whilst he in teh cafe was sitting and webloggininating and writing ihs novwel, he 16.4 espresso coffees ahd. tahts too much, mes amis, too much. take it from mawrise. he knows. now.

eh bien. he was wiht teh caffeine overdosed, and wery excited and jittery felt. he felt anxious, confused, dizy and his ears were ringignging. eh bien. he raelised he had to much coffee had had.

tehn, he a stroke of geynius had (he thought!!1! --> worng!!!). he too much coffee had had. cofee is a stimulant. he could teh effects reversinate wiht an equal and oposite dose of sedetive! magnifique!1!! luckily, mauwrise found he had a bottel of tequila in his kitchen cup-board.

well, mawrise is here to tel you taht tihs does not work. he will talk to you agian in a few days wehn he feels better. rite now he just feels awfull... aurhgh...

Back in Argentina

Mes amis.... Muarise is wery pleased to announcinate that he once again in Argentina is... and TIHS time, he here is just for his own enjoyment, not as teh result of some evil plot by a evil sekret soiciety, again.

Eh bien it good once agian to be in Merhiçe his Buenos Aires apratment once again be. He is even now sitting in a café on teh street corner just naer his apratment sitting, drinkinating espresso coffees (he is even now on to his eight espresso for teh afternoon on to)( and a new wobleg post writinating. He is also on his next novwel workinating. He about tihs does NOT much want to say, other than you can all rest asured taht it a work of grate geynius would be (but tehn, would you, my loyal devotted raeders, expect ANYTIHNG less of Murrhiße? NO! It wuold be untinkinable.(

Murrhose will also once again wisit his ranch be wisitinating... and he much to teh road trip is much looking forward. ..   . He plans to spend a few days tehir. He is also planning to a wineyard here plant so taht would tehn mean he has wineyards tehn now in Italy (Castello di Maurise), in   SPain and NOW in Argentina.. Hmm,, MAYBE he shiuold also a wineyard in Australie plant. And anohter in France. JUST to completinate teh set.? Eh bien,, it matters not. ALl taht matters is taht he will a wineyard in Argentina THIS YAER plantinate.

Ah good, Another espresso has just arrivinated for Muriyçe... . He needed taht. Wehre was he?! Ah  yes, in his new wineyard Estancia di Muariose, wihch in teh Northwest of teh country is... He will consult wiht teh farm manager tehre of course, but he ,, much lpans for tihs wineyard has,,, he so excitedinated is  ..., especially now he   on to his 10th espresso is,. He planninates to plantinate::

• Pour rouge:
• Malbec
• Pinot NOir
• Bordaeux vaerietals: CaberNet franc, CAbernet sAuvignon, MERLTO, Petit Verdot
• Pour blanck:
• Bordaeux blanc warieties: Savage blanc and SEmíllon
• Torrontés
• ... ., and of cuorse,,, .. Chardonneigh
  

Miruse, he can ALMOST ALRAEDY taste teh malbec...

SO. ,. Wonce Maurise has inspecitnateD teh site of his wineyard to be AND he current, alraedy functioning farm (it good milk and cheeseses makes, mes amis, wery good, also teh BOEUF is brialint, evwen if Muroise   himself say s so( he will back to Buenoes Aires headinate.... Tehn he is going to go to his apratment in PARIS to work on his novwel in piece and Queit   , for anoher few months... ah good here is anohter coffeee... he needed taht.,.,..... his tenth (10tH( espresso ... neededinated it wery urgently as he suddenly is finding it difffficult to type... hands unstaedy, feeling wery jitttery mes amiss... its a mystery.....,,,..,..   .... noepe taht didnt help ,,, MAYBE a n 11th espreso would help... will try ouyt this tehory now... ,..,........, but for now,   loyal raeders, Murrhose bids you adieu (albeit in a rather excited, jittery manner)

Hiappy new year, mes amis!!!1!!!

Bonne année, mon amis!!!1! Or, as we say "en français", "Happy New Year, My Freinds!!" Eh bien, it is true. It once agian a new year is.

Wow! How teh old year wery fast went. Even for such a grate geynius as Murrhjuose, who wery wery good at noticing things that happen wery fast is. The years are so short, it almost seems as if their is a new year every 365 days!!! Incredioble! Incroyable!!

Well mes amis, Merhwse thuoght that his loyal fans had suffered enuogh deprevation of MISSIVES from their favourite geynius (I.E., moi!!! Morose!!!), and so he a wobleg post shuold writinte.

He hopes you a wery good Christmass hjad. He a wery good Christmas had, wihch he spent wiht his long long lost brohter Mycroft in Canbererera.... tahts right mes amis, Mururuse has a brohter..... rember you read taht here FIRST. Anyway, it incroidable catching up wiht him after may yers (5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 100 years? WHO KNOWES?!?!?!) was. Muirhose wanted to tweet and wobleg all abuot Christmas LIVe as it happeniated but alas it was not possible. Mijruse his NON-GEYNIUS borhter forbidinated it (now Morose rembers why he to him stoped talking!!1!) simply becuaeese Mycroft works in some ""confidiential"" projects in Governenmenbt and it cuold have ""Jeopardised National Security"". Wahtever. Murrhuwse, he a GRATER geynius is.

Eh bien, despite tihs, we a grate CHristmas had. For Christmas dinner, we had roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb AND roast goose!!! ALL OF TEHM>>>!! WOAH!! it such a meal was. Their were roast potatoes, roast punmpkin, roast parsnip, a beautiful salad. OH...,.and I still have not teh fois gras starter mentionated....

NAturally Murhose and Mycroft many good whines had. Mycroft is wery partial to teh 1892 Chateau Lafite, so NAturally we several bottels of tihs had... since Murrhose preferinates Romanee COnti we sevral bottels of 1956 Romanée Conti also haded.

Eh bien, as alwauys, even such good thymes to an end must come. And teh day before yester-day, murrhose his hairyplane packinated, and to Paris, NSW flew. He is plaesed to relate taht teh flight only two days him took -- a record, he hardly at all lost got!!!!1!

à bien-tôt...
MUERRHAESE
geynius