Not that CHAMELEON again!!!!

Oh no! It really is too much, mes amis. This chameleeon, it is a plague on Maerose. Just yesterday, Marrhose he went to have a drink from his cup of coffee and his cup it turned out to be le chameleon again disguised as Mawroyse's hot beverage liquid drink. Merise, he was most upset and most agitated he was. He knew not what to do! The chemeleon it slid away sniggering, but Maerise he knows it will be back. And Maowruse he never wrong is.

Also, just today Morrhuse he noticed that the the credit cards he off the capitan of the SS Cado got all have different names on them. This is odd, even though they are the cards of the Captain only one has his name on it. A couple have names that Morrhuse recognises as being the nomes de plumes of the Capitan, but others he knows not. Who is this M. Directeur Exécutif de l'Unicef that is on one of these cards named? Maerose he knows not.

He hopes that this person is not minding that Maerose he used this cerdit card to buy his house!

Oh noes!!!1!

Oh no!!!!1! Mes amis, Maerowse he was in the garden this mroning walkin,g when he a sight most horrible met his eyes:



That is right, mes amis! It is that chameleon again! Mawreese, he thought he had this reptile most fiendish shaken off! But alas, it was not to be. It must be stalking Mowrose, mes amis. He does not know how to get away from it!

Oh what to do, my friends, Marwose for once does not know what to do!

A walk through teh gardens

Mes amis, Mawrose he is still enjoying in his new house being, He has just a walk through the gardens most extenisve and most beautiful been for. He some photographs of that jardin most beautiful thought that his readers most devoted might like to see. Eh bien, mon ami, they are here:

Found a HOUSE mes amis!!!1!

Mes amis, Mawrose has the house most beautiful found. Mes amis, it is Maerowses dream most wonderful come true! Maurise, he has a chateau near Arles in le South de France just bought! Mes amis, you would not believe how bauetiful it is just already! Mes amis, it everthign has!

It is a small mediaeval chateau, with towers and everythhing that Maerose he could possibly want. Mes amis, it is of the most buaetiful stone built, and it it is in the position most beautiful. Also, it gardens most beautiful has. Maerowse he will in them be able to walk whilst he is his next best selling book writing! He has a good fieling about it already!!

There was just the small matter of money, but such a great geynisu as Mearose does not with such trivial details concern himself. Eh bien, he just one of the Capitans credit cards handed over, and this it seemed to be acceptable.

Maurhese knows that his audiense most adoring would not let him go without posting some photos. Here they are. Enjoy, mes amis!

Rolls Royce Phantom VS. Lada 1500

Mes amis, this Rolls Roise voiture neuve is much much better than the Lada that Mauresee he used to drive. It is a blessing that he the car keys for the Lada lost and had to a new car buy! In any case, Merose he a new car deserved. And it was just lucky that he a credit card had so that he could for it pay.

In any case, Mes Amis, Mawrose he now in the SOufht of France is. He will let you Know how he with house hunting gets on. Wish him luck!!!!

Nice Rolls Royce goes to Nice, Mes amis!

Mawruse cannot it believe! He could not his car keys find yesterday! He was up till all hours of the night for them searching. And yet, he found them not. Mes amis, You could not imagin how upset Merrhyse he was. He was meant to yesterday to the South of France go to start house hunting.

Then, Mawriçe he rememebered that he still has the credit cards from the captans bag that he took off of the capitian of the S.S. Cado. So, this morning Mærose he took himslef to the local car dæler and bought himslef a Rolls Royce Phantom Using the capitans credit card. What a kind man this capitan is! This card, it will also come in handy when Maeroße he buys himslef that house in the Sout h of France he wants.

Eh bien. Maerohyse he must go now, he needs to the South of France to drive. He cannot wait to his new Rollys Roice test out! It's five hundred and seventy nine miles to Nice, Maerose has a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and Merhyse is wearing sunglasses. Hit it, mes amis!

Merrhose in Paris (again)

Mawrose he has in Paris arrived once again, mes amis. He will of course his raedership most loyal updtate more fully as soon as he can.

Also, he will investigate the mystery of why every one in Paris they have started spaeking Breton since Morise he was last here. It is quite strange mes amis.

Eh bien, Moiruse he is much overjoyed to in Paris be back once again. It looks like he that chameleon managed to shake off tooo...

On teh plane

Merrose, he is on teh plane back from Colombia to France at last mes amis! Horray! Merose, he is overjoyed. Also, the plane it has WIFI. Maerose, he is of this even more overjoyedd.

He is most upset thoughg that he cannot a signal on his Apple iPhone get, he has been trying to make a fone call on it. Allso, the stewardess she is much intent on harrassing Merise to turn his iPhone off. Also, Marose has tried useing Skype on the hairyplane wifi network but it works not.

Ah, at least he can use the airplane skyphon. This, it is wery expensive but never fear! Mearose still has the credit cards from the captians bag that he took off of the captitan of the S.S. Cado.

Still, he at least will in Paris be soon. And now he must get on the fone to M. Garamond, Merisess'es publisher most esteemeed.

Léàvïng Bogotá

Mes amis, Mawruse he has himslef on a flyte to Parrhyse booked, that it it is leaving in just a few hours. Mawrisse bids a fond fairwell to Bogotå, and must himself a taxi hail to the airport to get to. Nonetheleees, he will of course his readership most loyal keep infromed of the details of his fligte back to Paris.

See you in Paris, mes amis!

Crash landed!

Mawrise, he did it! He finally manaaged to control the escape pod, and pilot it back to earth! With no damage to Maerise or anything else important (he did slightly flatten a mountain range just next to Bogotá). AS you may guess, Merose he was aiming for Paris but got Bogotá instead. Near enogh, mes amis, near enough. Right planet ,anway. And for MAWRISE, that, it is better than nothing. Much better than northing.

In any case, Mweryse he is pleased to be back on palnet earth once again. He landeded last night, and is wery glad to have done so. He is staying in a hotel in the center of the city, and is even noew trying to book his plane tickets (or tockets? Mawruse he can never rememememeber) back to Paris again.

When he to Paris gets back once again he will start in earnerst for a house in the south of fRance looking mes amis. He will be wisiting their real soon now to have a look round. Wish him luck mes amis!!!

~~ MERRUSE, bloggging LIVE from his HOTEL ROOM in BOGOTÁ, COLOMBIA!!!

Running out of oxiegen

Mes amis, Mawrise is still Lost in SPace! He knows not what to do mes amis. Also, the oxygen it is running out and Mero∫e he has read that without oxygen he cannot breathe. Mirosse has also read that this, it is not a good thing. SO Moerhhyse he has to figure out how to pilot this escape pod back to Paris BEFORE he out of oxiegen runs. This sounds almost imposible.

Lucky Mowruçe is a geynius and so for Marrrhise nothing is imposssible, mes amis, NOTHIGN!

Err...

Moaurise, he cannot figure out how to control teh escape pod. He wants to figure out how to it make land near PAris, but alas he cannot this figure out. He must, as he does not want forever to in orbit stay. Must be one of these butttons that the pod makes it land.

Maybe Mariose will ask this passing astronaut. He might know.

Tiresome arguments

Mawrise, he hates arguments mes amis. Aruging with lesser minds than the geynius that is Merrose (and lets face it mes amis, since Moariçe is such a great geynius, all other minds are lesser minds than Moruisße) tears the attention of Moruse away from his great work most essential, and drags him down to the petty level of these other peopel most miserabel. He likes it not mes amis!

This mroning, Moruses he awoke early and went out to with Zafod speak. M. Zaphod he was on the telephone speaking on the telepone. M. Zaphod, when he had finished speaking he said that he with some one named Trillian had speaking been. "Yeah," he said "I kinda agreed to pick her up from the shops, y'know? Yeah, it's just nearby the horsehead nebula, won't take long. Wanna come along Moses?"

Merose he most indignant was. He does not to the Horsehed nebula want to go. He to Paris wants to go back right now! But M. Zaphod, he most insistent was most insistent! There an argument most immense was! But, mes amis, Moiruse most inteligant is. And he can out of any problem hsi way think. So Moirace he preteneded to agree with Zafphod and got M. Zaphlod to think agreed. He even helped Zaphod rewire the control pannel and put the peices back togehther where Meoirise had kind of wiht a chair smashed them whilst with Zafod he was arguing.

But then, mes amis, he went back out to the back of the ship, and snuck into the escape pod of the ship. He the escape pod luanched, and disappeared off. Moiruse he know must figure out how to the escape pod work so that he can get to Paris back. He currently in orbit of earth is. Just need to figure out how to use the camera on this iPhone mes amis, Meoruse could some beauttiful pictures now take!

Rescued, mes amis, Rescued!

As predicted in these pages earlier in le week, it has happened mes amis Merose he has been resuced! Too brilliant to hide his light under a bush being trapped in a remote corner of the globe, the Genyius that is Merose got himself rescued at long last.

Gentle reader, it happened somewhat like this:

Merrhuse, he was having an animated discussion about Proust with a reindeer. When suddenly, there was a bright light in the sky, and everything around all around wery bright was. When finally Mawrise he could see again, Mawro∫e he saw it was a perfectly white, spherical space ship. Mawrhyse, he was much amazed. Eventually. a man with two heads out of the space ship came. Merose, he was even more amazaed. "Hi," this man he said, "I'm Zaphod. Heard you needed rescuing, yeah?" Merrise he agreed that this indeed was the case, as indeed it the case was.

Zaphod, he explained to Marose explanainitorially that the ship, she is call Le Coeur d'Or, and the ship she most beautiful is. ALmost as boutiful as Mawriuse himself! Almost, mes amis, but not quite.

Eh bien, it is good that Meroise he is finally rescued. Tomorrow, MEroise he will ask Zaphod to take Mawrise to Parise. Mareise thought he must let his readers most devoted know the wonderful news most wonderful. It is lucky theire is wireless internat on the Heart of Gold mes amis, not even Moriße's satttalite telephones can here a signal get!

MAWRUSE, blogging LIVE from THE HEART OF GOLD, which it is currently IN ORBIT of PLANET EARTH, in SPACE mes amis!

Still House Hunting

Meriçse, he has the entire day spent talking on his satelite phone, talking to real estate agents in the south of france. It is hapening, mes amis, it is happengin! Finally, Mawriße he will his dream haus in the south of fRance get. If only he can from the Nroth of Norway escaep!

Merrhise he hope satelite telephone calls do not cost much, he has made so many. HE made many calls both in Nroway and in the Dessert Island on which he, the geynius, was trapped. Maybe sateelite phone calls, they are free.

Oh well, in any case Mawruse he will soon from hsi Arctic Hideawya be rescued wery soon mes amis!