THYME MACHINE AGIAN

MES AMIS .... Mŵriśe is just back from more extendinated thymetravel ... but more abuot that soon. Wehn he left (FRIDAY JUNE 18TH) he had just been to see his asociate Agléy and to him tell him some of the infromation Moaróse had about teh templars founded out from his thymetraweling. Unfrotunately he figurinated out taht Merise must a thymemachine have ,.... and evwen managed to guess wehre Merwçe would it hide , despite how cuning M7erisecs hiding spot was ( teh garage - who:d guess taht a car wuold be kept in teh garage?!?!?!?!1!).

ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).

ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a  ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).

ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)

MÓRISE PLAYINATES CHESS WIHT TEMPLER GRAND MESTER BERT DE CRAYON
IPHONE PHOTO TAEKEN WIHT MEARISES IPHONE 11SG++++++

Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable!  And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??

ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?

Lost!

Mes amis, Maurise he for a walk in the countryside around his chateau went four days ago. But alas, catastrophe most profound, he took a turning rwong on his way home and now he cannot his way home find. Also, he has just off a log fallen. it hurt, mes amis, and now Maerowçe he has mud all over him. This is not befitting the diginity of a geynius like Mouriße!!

Alll he knows now is that he is in some woods somewhere, and he for days has been walking. If you Maerose anywhere see, say hello and tell him where he is mes amis! He to his chateau much wants to get home. He misses his study and his lovely dinning room and also the food in aforementioned lovely dinning room becasue merrise has not had anything to eat for DAYS mon ami DAYS!

Still, Muiruse is as ever shure that he will to his home once again make it back. Wish him luck, mes amis!

Maurice, blogging LIVE on his iPhone 3G whilst LOST in the WOODS!

Dial a geynius Attempt 2!

Okay, mes amis, so the first attempt it did not work. Alas, Miruse could not remeber his mobile telephone numbers.

But not to wory, mes amis, he will give you his landline number.

Okay. The number of the telefone of his house here in the south of france is +33 4 -- err, Morrise canot the rest remmememeber.

Okay. The telefone number of his flat on Rue Mouffetarde it is +33 1 -- er again he cannot the rest of the number rember.

Okay. The telephone number of his house in Armidale in France it is +33 3, er.

Okay. New plan. The phone number of his house in Paris in Australia, it is +61 2 677 err. Hmm. Maerrose he can rember more of this number, but alas it is not enough!

Hmm. New plan, mes amis. Mowerussse he will try to withtth RATATATATOSKR get in touch. He will let you know.

Dial a genius!

Mawruse has decided to give out his iPhone mobile telefone number on his interweb page, so that you his raedership most devoted and most loyal, can with such a great geynius get to speak! An unprecedented opportunity for his raedership most devoted!

Mes amis, the phone number it is +33 6 -- er hang on, Morrhuse he cannot remember the phone number of his iPhone! THis is most distressing. Maybe Ratatsokr, he will know.

Actually, maybe you can all ring Mowrise his Australian mobil telefone. Mes amis it is +61 4 -- err, mes amis Moruse he cannot that remember either. Alas! Catastrophe!!

Muaerrise he will Ratatatoskr contact, and to you all get back.

Readers Questions

From: Chameleon [chameleon@snigger.com.mg]
To: Ratatoskr
Subject: iPhones

So you did end up going to Australia to "acquire" an iPhone for Maurice eh?

Snigger.

~Chameleon

Nope, Ratatoskr didn't. Said it wasn't gonna happen, it didn't can't and won't. End of story. Had a very important package to deliver for the All Father. One that the Hooded One, Grimnir, just couldnt trust anyone else with. Can't say any more. Nope, not even for acorns. He ain't called the Terrible One for nothing.

Still, Ratatoskr did preorder a 3G iPhone. But it's for himself, not Maurice. Just wait till Maurice finds out, eh? Oh boy, oh boy will that be fun. Stand back and watch the fireworks.

Yours squirrelishly,

Ratatoskr.

That Maurice fella. Heh.

Don't think that just because you've not heard from him, Ratatoskr's not been busy. No sir, I've been one busy little squirrel. Indeed I have. Been to Norway, then last week to Iceland and now in Australia for a week. Rained. Not fair. Not fun, fur got wet. But not to worry, never fear Ratatoskr doesn't let some rain stop him! No sir, had some messages to deliver but done that now. Now got time to rest & relax. Or at least race around looking for acorns and dodging Wagner.

But that Maurice character! Now he has a new iPhone he keeps wanting to ring Ratatoskr up. Phone keeps ringing, every ten minutes. All but two times its been that Maurice fella. Maybe should answer it some time. He might even have something important to say. That'd be a change, eh?

Still. More important stuff to worry about. Like acorns. And hazelnuts. And acorns. And peanuts. And acorns. Ooops, there goes the phone again. Just Maurice. Let's all just pretend I'm not here, eh?

Yours nuttily,
Ratatoskr Squirrel.

IPHONE 3G!!!!!!!!

Mes amis, Maewrosr has just recently of teh luanch of teh NEW 3G ipone read. Now Mearose wants one! His old iphone it seems outdated by comparison. But woe is Mearruse! The new iPohne it does not luanchinate until 11th July, 17th Julie in FRance (which is where Maerhose he is now). What is a Maerorse to do?

Well, this mronign Mawuruuuçe took himself down to the warehouses of Orange France, and climbed the high walls and dodged security guards, and mes amis he is now please do be able to tell you that he now an ipHone 3G himself has! Also, he has his agents in aUstraliaia even now working for him to get an Australian iphOne for Morise his Australian SIM card. Merise will not be left out or left behind, No sir he will not!

Maurise cannot wait to a phone call on his new iphoNe make. Also he is certain that a device this elegant, it MUST the new emails make arrive in Murrhyçe's inbox!

Lost again, mes amis!

Catistrophe! MErrjhyse, he has again found himself lost, this time in the Frozen tundra of the north rather than a desserted tropical island most desserted.

But fist mes amis, how it came to happen. Merrhyse, eh went to the hairport to fly to fly from Riga to Oslo.


Agrandir le plan

Alas, mAwrise, he on the worng flight got. He got on a flight to Tromsø got!


Vis større kart

Alas, when he there arreived he was much distressed and agitated. They did not need to lock Merisse up though, that was an over reaction. I am certain the secuirty guard he will recover, and Maruose only broke a few luggage conveyer belts and some plate glass windows.

When Morise was released, he to the hairport made his way. Alas, eh could not on an hairyplane flight get at such short notice so he for a walk went. Soon, Meruse noticed a Piper and an idea had. He would it steal and fly himself to Oslo! Stealing is wrong of course, but all is excused for a geynius like Merrrryse in the service of his art!@!

Well, MErrhise he got into the lpane and flew southwards for hours and hours. After a while he the plane it out of fuel ran. Alas, he also noticed that he not southwards but north had been going! According to le GPS, merrhise is is 8km out of Nordkapp is.


Vis større kart

Merwuse, he knows not what to do. ALl he can do is wait here and hope he is rescued.

Hmmm... Mewrisse still has his hand luggage, with an iPhone and two satellite phones. Lets se... MErrhise can Just get a GSM signal get... He will try calling Ratatoskr on his iPhone if this it does not work he will on his Stattelite phone try Ratatatosk calling. Maybe Ratatatatosk will help. HE is in Norway, after all.

First though, he must a quick weblog post make on his iPhone. He cannot his public most adoring keep in suspense, after all!

MERRHYSE, blogging LIVE from the site of his PLANE CRASH, near NORDKAPP in NORWAEY!!!@!1!

Site seeing, at the Leaning Towerr

Mes amis Merrhyçe is having a day around Milan looking It is sightseeing most beautiful, in this city so scenic. Mœrysse, he is taken a break to sit down and a coffeee drink, and decided he must use his iPhone to post another entry to his readership most devoted on his weblog most magnifique.

Mon ami I am trying to find the cities landmark most famouss, the Leaning Tower but Merwhyse he can find it not. He M. Garamdond tried to ask where it is but he became much agitated and would not Merrhyse tell. It would Merrhises day most perfect make if he could it see, but alas he can it find not.

Maybe this pigeon will know where it is. Meirhyße will ask it.

Ratatosk

Mes amis, Merrhyse has with his good freind Ratatosk been trying to catch up for the past month. For one thing, Mawryse wants to Ratatosk tell of his escape most dramatic from his island prison. But alas, mes amis, marreyse cannot him reach by teléfone.

Maybe he has his telephone mobile lost, or maybe he cannot at Yggsdrasil GSM reception get. In any case, mes amis, if any of you happen to with Ratatosk talk, please to let him know his good ami Mawruse is trying to him contact would you?

Merci, from Mäurise.

Gargle twice daily with NEW improved mouthwash

Well, thanks to Ratatosk for his post. I have not a chance to read it yet had but I am told it provides another angle on the geynius that is Merise.

Well, mes amis, Merryse continues his great work, working tirelessly on his messterpiece, that epic novel, The Mouthwash of the Gods. I am just to the point where the hero convinces both Odin and Apollo that they should gargle with NEW improved Septic Mouthwash. It is quite a moment dramatique, and one of the central points most epic of such a novel so new and unique that it is incomparible, mon ami. Incomparable!

Well, mes amis, stuck here on a desert island Marryçe missed the iPhone launch in Paris. here is the luanch I missed out on, from mon ami youtube:



Well, Merryße is much sad that he this most wonderful event missed out on completely. But now he can watch it on the internet, it is not so bad, mes amis. Also, he now his has wery own iPhone and he with it is much happy even if he it cannot much use as there is no mobile phone network nearby.

Still, at least he has this satellite phone. Still, you should see how long a video YouTube takes to load on this very slow satelite link. It is very very slow, mes amis, very slow.

Merryse notices the difference betweeen this and ADSL...

Code division multiple access

Mes amis, Mawresse has noticed that one of the captains mobile phones is CDMA. So he can confirm that he cannot even get a signal CDMA here on this desert island.

Merrose, his iPhone arrived today via courier. He was much excited to have un nouveau téléphone mobile. He has activated it using his computer, but I am not able to much else do with it. Merrase is on an uninhabited desert island in the middle of the pacific, all alone. There are no GSM mobile phone networks here, mon ami. Still, he can his calendar work out! Here is an extract:

Friday 7th December: Wait for rescue.
Saturday 8th December: Wait for rescue.
Sunday 9th December: Day off. Read book. Talk to palm trees.
Monday 10th December: Wait for rescue.
Tuesday 11th December: Wait for rescue.
Wednesday 12th December: Wait for rescue.

Mes amis, I think you the picture get! Still, at least I this satellite téléphone have.

Apologies, mes amis, apologies

Mes amis, Mowrhiçe must apologise much for his extended silence. I am ware of the sorrow and suffering my many fans must have felt, being deprived evenly briefly of the wit and wisdom fantastique of Maurace.

Well, fear no more, Merrhise is here! Moruse has spent the past few days exploring his island prison, and, mon amis, it is not so bad. There is plenty of food and fresh water. Yesterday, Marrese caught several saucisse de Morteau in his trap. And I have a shelter most beautiful built, which has a desk for Mowrece''s great work, and a small bedrom most beautiful.

Seeing how lovingly constructed and perfect, yet how small and simple and isolated, his new hut is Morrese was tempted to shed a few tears. How I remember my apartment on Rue Mouffetard! It is a far cry from this little hut. I get faster internet access there too. Mowrise misses shopping in the market, and drinking coffe in the little cafes. Ah, how he misses it!

Also, Merrise missed out on the launch of the iPhone, which in Paris happened recently. He has by mail order bought one but he is thinking it is not likely I will a singal from Orange's french mobile network pick up in the middle of the pacific. Even with roaming, there are no standard GSM mobile phone networks here, mes amis.

Maybe CDMA would work.