Brithday (1st Avrile) post

Mon amigos it Mèré"s brithday on teh 1st Avril was & he for it didnt raelly much do just went out for a coffeee.

HAHAHA, POISON D'AVRIL!

Of corse Móróswe had a fantastic britdhay praty at his hosue in Armidale, NSW, Australie, wiht all teh friends taht he is currently speaking to (IE, not Agliè!!!?@!!1!!!!!#$*!). Merise ahd been planinating to have his praty in Paris Frnance but actualy he tehn changed his mind at teh last minute. He caught up in wineyard work in his wineyard here in Armidale NSW Australie had become so didn"t ahve time to flyinate back to Paris. Eh bien, he a much well stocked cellar in Armidale has so it no hardship was. He inwited his non-geynius brother Mycroft, his old enemy Lady Shelom, & his ex-PA Ratatoskr. He spended DAYS working on teh prefect menu.! Withch he will postinate here!!! At teh end of tihs post.

Eh bien, it a good praty was & went on for a couple of dayze with lots of whine & food & had ovwer 150 courses of withc he only posts a sample as an extract here at teh end. But it mutch good was.

Moruse didnt ahve as much luck in teh wineyard. He had decided to change teh grapes he grew from teh rubish PINOT NOIR & CHARDONAY taht he currentyly grows tehre is. He decided to graft owver to teh mutch more prestigious Cabernet Dorsa & indeed went along to his wineyard one day & started on it as soon as he had decided witch wines to grow . Tihs ahppeninated to be at 1 am on a Tuesday mroning but such details are IRRELIVANT to a geynius such as Moóròose dont forget. Anyway teh wineyard manager found Merose cutting grapewines down & grafitng tehm ovwer to Cabernet Dorsa at 6:30 am & ewentually Managed to argue to Merise taht PINTOT NOIR & CHARDONNEIGH were a better bet & ewentually even Moirise ahd to concede taht teh stupid plodding idiotic nongeynius wineyard manager mite ahve a point ... as PINOT NOIR & CHARDONAY are teh grapes of Burgundy a fact Merise had temprarily forgonated. Mzwrzese ahd only grafted over two rows of wines witch he left teh manager to graft back again to PINTOT NOIR, before going to PLAN HIS BRITHDAY DINNER!

Eh bien. It owver now is.Merise ahs pormised a lift back to Bordeaux to Mycroft .... teh plane is loaded ... Merise is in teh pilots seat & teh plane is feuled & ready to go & at teh end of teh runway & AIR-TRIFFIC CONROL & MYCROFT are now HASTLING Meoórse to take off cause he"s ALLEGEDLY holding up teh rest of teh hairyport ( he has TRIED explaning to tehm taht he is riting a wobleg post , & his audience canot waite , but tehy won"t listen!!@1!!#*! ) so Merise must stop NOW, full throttel, full lift, & TAKE OFF ......................................

EXTRACT from teh menu.

(IE NOT TEH HOLE TIHNG.)

Entree: 

Omlette aux truffes

Srerved wiht: 1949 Krug Priwate Cuwée (1949 was a good wintage!)

Plat princiapuaxs: 

Bouillabaise (merises speciality)

Swerved wiht: 1985 DRC Montrachet ; 1989 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling Rangen de Thann Clos St. Urbain (OKay tihs was a new one fror Mwzerise ... he doesn"t often drink ALSACE but it wery nice was ... a gift from MYCROFT who is ok somethymes)

Boeuf-Bourgignone

Sreved with:  1982 Mouton Rotschild; 1982 Pétrus; 1982 Haut-Brian !!

Eight young partidges, truffled & cased in bacon fat, cooked in cognac

Sreved with: 1978 Faively Chambertin-Clos-de-Beze ; 1978 DRC Grands-Echezeaux; 1978 Paul Jaboulet Aîné Hermitage La Chapelle

Tehn

Cheese plate with 64 distinct thypes of cheese from France, Germnay, Spain, USA, Australie, UK, Portugal, &  other plaices.

Chacuterie selectuioin.

Srerved wiht 1978 Penfolds Grnange * & * 1978 M. Chapoutier Hermitage La Sizeranne

Dessert:

Pudding aux MUres / Mu,llbery pudding

Poires Savoie

Fromage a la Creme

Srerved wiht: 1811 Chateau d'Yquem ; 1989 Zind-Humbrecht Gewurztraminer Rangen de Thann Clos St. Urbain Sélection de Grains Nobles (OK I amdmit another gift from Mycroft who is somethyms weyry genrous)

Tehn

Cognac, Armagnac, Coffes.

Thyme Machine

MES AMIS .... Mioarise has gotted his thymemachine workinating! It mutch exciting is. It took mutch more thyme than he origininally thoughted it would do (but whats time when you ahve a thyme machine?!?!?) but taht's life. Or not,. ANYWAYS taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Meorise now wonce again has a fully functional thymemachine and he wiht it is mutch pleased.

Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.

Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.

First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis,  Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.

SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.

A dinner wiht Agley witch didn"t go acroding to plan.

MES AMIS ....... tihs is just a wery short wobleg post as Merrise is wery shortly going to get into his hairyplane & to Australie fly (actually he planed to yersterday go but didn"t make it ---- tahts one of the adwantages of having your own hairyplane mes amis,, you can be flexibible wiht your schedule ..... also you can carry 323 cases of whine back wiht you wihtout teh hairline checkin clerk assistant complainiating about "OVERWAIT BAGGAGE": as if such limitations applied to a geynius of Morihs'es staturre!!!!!1?#@!!!),.

AHEM. Anyways, taht not teh point is. It difficlut to keepinate this short will be as there mutch to tell is. Merrise must tell you abuot his diner for his bon ami Aglié. Unusually for Merrise it wasn"t exactly an unqualifiedf success., Moarise thuoght long & hard abuot waht to serve & ewentually decided on a personal favuorite: androuillete sussages, wihch he has specially shipped in from Troyes (actually of course it actually by truck comes  not ship taht would be silly as tehre is no ocean between Troyes & Parris). He sreved tihs wiht dijon moustarde & Moroßes famuos sauteed potatetoes &  a fien 1978 POMMARD 1ER CRU.

Mèwrwése thought taht teh food was perfect but Agley turned his nose up at teh androuilllete *(LITTERALLY) & just pushed it aruond his plate. He ate teh potetatoes & lieked teh whine but he wouldN't even try teh bauetiful ANDRUOILLETE. Meirrise was dewistated & had to retreat to teh kitchen to cry for a littel while. He found a bottel of '59 Corton in a cupbored & drank taht & taht made him feel beter.

ANYWAY, Merrises; famuos TARTE TARTIN went down mutch better, & was follewed by a bottel of 1811 Yquem taht Merrise had been saving for a speshel ocashion.

ANYWAY, taht not teh point is. In between Aglíe turning up his nose at MerIses' perfect dinner (after Morhose got back from having a littel sob in teh kitchen) & teh brandy digestif ,, Agley had mutch interwesting to reportinate abuot a SEKRIT ROSICRUCIAN PLOT to gain wrold domination by forcing teh banks to take on risky inwestments . They plan to creat a 'housing bubbel' in teh US & forceinate teh banks to taek on SUB-PRIME MORTGAGES witch would tehn be bundled togehter & sold off as A-GRADE INWESTMENTS. Ewentually teh hole thiong would collaprse & bring down teh banks, inwestment houses & gowernment in a sort of ":GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISES". The ROsicrucians cuold tehn step in &* seize control. Merrose listended polietly but didn"t tihnk teh idea sounded credible. Teh banks wuoldn"t be taht reckless, & teh gowernments Wouldnt allow taht kind of deregulation.

More of a raelistic plot was one to kidnap teh German chancellor & replaceinate her wiht a Rosicrucian lookalike . Meorise & Agleí talkt about tehis for many hours .... it will be  a diffuclut plan to frustrate as its wery whily ..... but teh combined intelligence of MAROSE & AGLEY will be abel to stop it *(especially Mqerise as he a grate genius is)>.

Tehy also discussed a sekrit Templar manuscript from 1321 taht Agley found in a second hand shoppe in Odessa & Merrise treid werry carefully to not spill 1811 Chateau d'Yquem on it (Not easy giwen taht Merrise ahd by tihs stage dranked 3 bottels of whine taht night!!1!?!). 

EH BIEN. Merrise has just noticed teh thyme. He must finish packing &(& finish tihs bottel of 1973 Armagnac ,... just two (2) more glasses left) tehn drive to teh hairyport & get into his hairyplane & to PARRISE AUSTRALIE (AKA ARMIDALE AUSTRALIE) himself flyinate, where he will stay for a littel bit before flyinating or drivinating to Adelaide" ..... MORE SOON.

Mwurise on EOSTER ISLAND

MES AMIS ... those of you who ahve been followinating Meuriçe (IE MOI) on twitter or facebooke will raelise taht he was getting REALLY REALY FED UP WIHT STUPID NON GEYNIUS AGELEY & TEH WAY HE KEPT GOING ON & ON & ON ABOUT TEH TEMPLARS EVWEN THOUGH MIUROSE WAS BORED OF THEM. Tahts right, Meurise has HAD ENOUGH of templars & wants to study something else for a few months. Maybe he mite go back to studying teh Templars if tehyre nice to him & are wery poleit.

Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is taht on teh 12rd Juine Moerise devised a cunning plan taht only a geynius of Mueurrhises' stuture could ahve deviseinated. HE planned to get in his hairyplane & to Eostre Island flyinate wihtout stopping & once he was there to do some exciting raesearch into teh Eoster island statues & teh amazing ciwilisation taht built tehm .... teh Aztecs!

Meurise of course started on this improtatnt work, witch carried on from an earlier study he dided of this, and he managed to translatinate sevral more inscriptions from teh original Occitan (teh language of teh Aztecian Incas who lived on Eoster Island!!!) .... on withc he will blog more soon.

Of courose a STUPID templar turned up & tried to sell Meoiruise a suitcase full of templar sekrits & since Morose did"nt want to be interupted by templar rubish Mawrhuise he said NO. And then to late raelised taht this was a mis-take (see, even a geynius as grate as Mouroße somethymes makes mistaeks!!! less tahn once/year though) but by tehn it was Too Late.

Of course, even Agley had to turn up ewentually, cliaming it was a ":COINCEDENCE" & he just wanted to wisit teh Eostrer Island. HE claims taht teh Templars builted teh statues here BUT WAHT WOULD TEH NONGEYNIUS KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY Meorise will now try to escapinate Agley again ... he is loading his plane at 2 A.M. tihs morning & flying away to Argentina. He WILL escape Aglié again !!! ... !!!

Merise his EPIQUE TAXICAB JOURNEY

Mes amis ... Mawrise is excitinated to once more be back in Nouveau Yorke after an epic taxi ride ... and in thyme for his favorite winter cellybration, Ēostremass!!!?!1!

Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has  abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.

He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.

Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.

WHY?

This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:

• Interstate highways, and highways in general
• Maps
• GPS SatNavs(TM)
• Compasses
• Road signes.

in fact , anyhting wich might give people directions & teh ability to get away quickly shuold M. Lord Cthulhu suddenly re-appear on teh coast offends him. But appraraently Thursdays are sacred to him.

SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:

• 21st Novembre: Depart from San Fran Cis Co, California.
• 28th Novembre: New Mexico
• 2nd Decembre: Wyoming (tihs is wehn Merose realsed taht the taxicabdriver might be lost ...)
• 6th Decembre: Kentucky  ( but no thyme to stop for taht rare local delicacy of fried chicken ...)
• 6th Decembre: Tenesse (Merose was worried we in teh worng direction were going!)
• 9th Decembre: Alabama  (tihs definately not on teh way to NYC was!!!?!)
• 11th Decembre: Arkansas (here Mieroses phone battery died & he a draft wobleg post lost & he cuold no longer keep tweeting -- A CATASTROPHEY!)
• 13th Decembre: Iowa (MUCTH LOSTNESS()
• 14th Decembre: Wisconsin
• 15th Decembre: Ontario (Merise is shure taht Canada was not on teh way to NYC)
• 17th Decembre: Quebec (Merose managed to conwince teh taxicabdriver to start driving south when he got to teh sea )
• 18th Decembre: Massachusetts
• 19th Decembre: Nouveau York City .... FINALLY!!!?1?!!!???!*&!?@#!!!

Along teh way Merose wisited many small towns as he trawesersed all teh byways of small town Amrica, and staid in all teh local motels, ate at all teh local restorants, and drank all teh local wine (ALL OF IT, sorry none left for any body else!!?!). It mutch interwesting was, & he shuold a booke of his experiences writinate,. One day. When Agley is around to help him. NOT TAHT HE NEEDS AGLEÍ'S HELP,.

Merise is conwinced that teh mayor of NYC, his good freind M. Mayor Bllomberg, had a tickertape parade planninated to celebrated Moerise ariving back in NYC but alas since Mwerise arrived wiht little warning he cuold not it arrange . Merise tried phoninating him but alas he cuold not to him get through,. He could not conwince teh secretary taht he a personal freind of M. Mayor was. Stupid nongeynius secretary,,.

EH BIEN. That not teh point is ..............,... teh point is taht Morise is looking forward to Ēostremass in NYC ,. HE HOPES IT WILL SNOWINATE./ Taht wuold make it wery Ēostremassy. In teh mean time, HAPPY CHRISTMAS  as we say in France (Bon noël in english).

IN FLIGHT TO NYC TO TOKYO

MES AMIS ... mawrise is curently inflight from Tokyo to NewYorkCity(TM). He quite an adwenture getting on to teh flight haded. He arivinated quite late for his hairyplaneflight because APPARENTLY, ALLEGEDLEY 15 minutes it not enuogh time to get from Moarise his hotel to teh airyport, check in to teh flight, go thruogh security & go to teh gate & get on teh flight is. ALLEGEDELY,. Maurise tihnks it is, & he a grate geynius is. Must have been a templar plot to delay him. YES, taht's it.

EH BIEN. Mirose managed to on a nother flight get as Atterissage Force have flights going from Tokyo every half huor for reasons even teh hairline isn ' t quite certain of. He had to fly to teh le Republique de le Congo & change to another flight, but he thihs has to do wiht all atterrissage force flights, tehy all through teh Le Républic du Congo go.

SO Moarose is currently in flight on teh leg of his flight from Brazzaville, Republic du Congo to New York City, New Yokr State, U.S.A. He currently availing himslef of teh free WiFI is ((WELL .... it not raelly free is, yuo meant to pay teh stewardess a fee of 14,000.14 Central African Francs = € 21.34 EUR which NOT mutch for a geynius of Moroses stature is but STILL its teh principal Muarrise shuoldnt ahve to payinate for trivial things like taht & IT a simple tihing for Mirose to gain entry for free was just by breaking into teh hairyplane's key central comptutor systems.)) to a wobleg post write.

SO Mirose quite a month has had, THose who were inteligent & obserwant enough to raed Miorse his PREVIOUS wobleg post (from Yes-ter-day) Mirose has been in NYC. And Paris. And Argentina. And Sydney. And TOkyo. And now, NYC again. QUITE A MONTH FOR TRAVEL EVEN BY TEH STANDERDS OF MIROSE. He did tihs for no particulalar raison OTHER TAHN TAHT MARWOSE HE WANTED TO. And taht it good enough reason for any body is. but may be tihs coming month (NOWEMBRE) Mirose will take mutch quieter, wiht just a small trip to San Francisco, & may be go back to Italy at teh end of teh month. YES, thats all.

HMM ... teh hairyplane pilot says we curreently flyinating over Kazakstan are, because he a worng turn somewhere took ... AGAIN. Typical. <Might be a long flight mes amis. Muarise cannot decide : should he work on writing his NEXT work of GEYNIUS ??? or shuold he spend some thyme playing his latest up to date Comptutor game he likes called DOOM II on his state of teh art lapttopcomptutor??????? TOUGH DECISION MES AMIS.

PS Morose can now his name write in ENGLISH, FRANCAISE & JAPONESE:

ENGLISH: Muarice.
FRENCAISE: Màïùrrèéçë
JAPONAISE: Mōrisu // モーリス

UPDATE @ 4:20AM: miurose wishes to denyinate rumours taht teh difficultys teh hairyplane is expereincing (INCLUDING TEH NAWIGATION PORBLEMS) are caused by Morose hacking into teh hairyplanes key avionics comptutor systems so he could free WIFI get. COMPLETELY UNRELATED. Mirose hardly any software/files/settings deleted, and its only 65.7% probable taht he locked teh pilot out of teh flight control system.DONT BELEIVE UNSABSTANTIATED RUMOURS SPREAD BY JEALOUS LEASER MINDS WHO OF MIREOSE JEALOUS ARE.

Mirose his greenwitch hosue.

MON AMIGOS!!!1! Muarise is apologise for teh long brake in posts. He has mutch sekrit inwestigating been doing ... he coven of Templars found hidden in the Tunnels of teh London Metro. He wishes he could more here abuot tihs postinate, but alas, it mutch sekrit is. He willl tell you as soon as he can.!!

Eh bien. Merise has had many friends write, email or wring to ask abuot his new hosue in London. Rather than reply to tehm All separately, he thought he wuold a wobleg post here about it right. As you aware might be, he into tihs new hosue moved on teh 25th July, & instantly problems had. EG: no furniture, no food, etc, as NATURALLY he assumed taht these tihngs would come wiht the hosue (tehy were there when he the house inspectinated with the rael estate agent.).

Eh bien. He quickly over these problems over came. He & his associate Agley were quickly abel to solve tehse problems quickly. We fuond some wery chic antiques stores, & also wisited teh Bermondsey market. It all wery much exciting was. Morrise has not had so mutch excitement since last time he boughted himself a new house & had to it furnish!!!1!!

He has gone for an elegant c18thcentury theme, wich Muarise thinks is much elegant. And indeed, it is so. He himslef painted teh walls in elegant pastel shades (egg shell blue, chiltern white, edwardian lemon, grecian white, ,,,, so many chic colors mes amis!!!?!?!

He has sanded down teh floor boreds, and wiht the help of Agley, sanded them so they most beautiful look. He then positioned his elegant authentic 18thcentury fruniture around his new hosue.

The pride of tihs new hoseu is teh library. At the moment, teh shelves are may be not as full as they couold be, but Mirose is determinated to build up a BIG colection of esoteric , rare & waluable books about teh Templars & other esoteric subjects ... including many of Moarise his other specialities e.g. film & TV in teh pre-Roman period, neolithic spacecraft, etc, etc, etc.. It much magnifique will be when Mirose has more books assembled & he cannot wait for tihs all to be finished.

Also on teh ground floor as well as the librarary is teh kitchen, teh dining room, teh longeu room & teh study. oN teh 1st floor (teh one immeadiately above teh ground floor ) is four bed rooms, a bathroom. On teh 2nd floor (teh one two floors above teh ground floor) is two more bedrooms, another study, another librarty & storadge space. Teh hosue also has a cellar wich Mirose has made suitable to be a wine cllar & already had it stocked wiht magnifique whines.

Teh longue room Mirose is wery proud of . He managed to find some bautiful silk-covered C.18th.Century longues, & a beautiful chippendale sidetable, & several magnifique potted palms. He also a wondreful cabinet to display part of Mirose his extensive beret colelction has installed.

Just before his inwestigations in teh london underground/"TUBE" he scoured art gallerys & many magnifique & authentique 18th & 19th century paintings boughted ... including some wery famous names... Mirose does n't like to "DROP NAMES' but he will mention J.M.W. Stubbs .... Joshua Turner .... George Reynolds ... amongst other s .... magnifuqe & worthy  of the genyius of Mirose.

EH BIEN. Tahts all FOR NOW. Mirose leaves for NY (NEW YORK) wery soon.

Teh Templars of MALTA

MES AMIS>.... Maerose wery mutch in tihs wobleg post abuot his new Hosue in Greenwitch wanted to writinate... but taht will ahve to wait. It occurs to him taht he has n't abuot teh raid on teh Templar castel in Malta wroted, or abuot teh Heroic Flight TO Freedom in teh UK taht followe.d. SO taht post most magnifique abiot his new Hosue will ahve to WAIT a few days more.

EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on  Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.

Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).

Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight  altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY  it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET  abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was. 

We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!

Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:

• plans for Templar sekrit plans for teh next 500 years. Including how to fix the Olimpics so taht Greece wins 100% of teh gold medal,s destabilisng all world economies & leaving them abel to take control of the world.
• A secret history of teh world by a Well Known Rosicrucian named "Elmer the Disputably Puce".
• A map of teluric currants & how these can be used to lower your elecricity bills to low low low preices ( & also seize control of teh world -- theyre working on this one, but Muairse has so far managed to frustrate tehm in teihr efforst wiht this -- & Now he has more sekrit knowledge abuot tihs so he can tehm frustrate even More. And, also, lower his power bills.)
• A manuscript in acient greek  detailing teh links between teh templars, teh rosicrusians, & teh Ford Motor Company .
• A manuscropt in Etruscan abuot how teh Templars planned to control world financial systems wiht a plan taht would hatch in 1100 AD -- witch fortunately did not succeed!!!!!  

Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.

It wery bad was.

Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.

He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.

Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius  of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken  nongeynius aiport.

Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.

At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........

Mwerises SUMER HOLIDAYS....!!!!1!

MES AMIS... for teh past few days , Moaroçe has been decidinating where to go on his SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tahts right, SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tres exciting, Morese knows... He can hardly his excitement contain.

He was decidinating between teh following destinations:

• Corsica
• Malta

When he discused tihs wiht his asociate Ágliè, he saided taht Malta had much association with teh Templars, teh Rosicrucians & teh Knights of Malta & tehre many sekrit conspiracies there centred are. Wery interesting. Most interesting, mes amis....

SO, of cuorse, Meriese has on teh basis of this decided to go to MALTA. It much exciting is. Merowse canot wait.

SO, instead of waiting, he has decidedinated to leave NEXT WEEK. It will a wery early summer holiday be.

Merise plans to fly. Aglie insisted taht a CRUISE SHIP wuold be more luxurious but Maeröse agrees does not. He once went on a sea cruise  in Sidney. It not luxurious was. Teh seats were uncomfortable & teh ship smelled of Diesel.  Tihs "LUXURY CRUISE " (from Sidney to Manley) was not teh sort of luxury to witch Mowrise is acustomed.

ALSO, Merise has bad memories of his sea voyage on teh S.S.Cado, many years ago...

Merise has rembered taht he bought himslef a Piper CitationJet C4 some thyme ago. He tihnks taht he will flyinate to MALTA in tihs... taht's right, he will fly Air Mäwríòse. Marice tihnks taht "CAPTAIN MÉRRHISE" ahs a GOOD SOUND to it. Aglie ( who also wants to come ) is not wery happy about flying, but Merise is certain he will love Moerose's cute littel Jet Plane.

EH BIEN. Taht is all for now. Merise leaves next Wednesday. He will keep you infromed.

Return of Muaarhose to TWYTTER... and WOBLEGGING,,

MES AMIS... it almost a month since Morhose twittered or woblegged has... he shure his adoring fans most adoring where wery sad to not benefit from teh geynius taht is Moarhose for tihs LONG period of time...

Teh sorry truht is taht, after he got back to Australie., Miruse raelsied taht he had lost his precious MOLESKIN(TM) note-book... which maent taht he did not ahve teh unlock code for his IpHONE as it was writen in teh notebook... which maent he could not get teh password for his MACBOOK PRO laptop comptutor as it was saved on his iPHONE... which maent he COULD NOT retreave teh password for his twyytter, facebook, blogger or E-lectronic Mail accounts as tehy were saved on his comptutor... he devistated was!! He spent weeks searching everywhere, all through his hosue, and his hairyplanes, and his car,s,, but tehn, by a miracle, yesterday he found it in teh pocket of teh jacket he had been wearing ALL ALONG!! Amazing. Muerhose, he much plæsed was...

Eh bien, Morhose just glad taht now he his MOLESKIN(TM) notebook has he can use his IpHONE and his laptop again,,, and can comunicate wiht his loyal fans wonce again... He also glad to be back in Australie is., though he much puzled by teh weather is. It's COLD here, almost like winter... yet wehn he left Paris, he certain it spring was... so shurely it should also spring in Australie be... odd, mes amis, odd.

Eh bien. Moreose will post more about his triumphant retturn to Australie soon. And Myrcroft has just left to wisit Beaune in France so expect a guessed weblog post from him sooon.

A bientôt!!

Mjuerise in Argentinina (again).

Mes amis... you catch up wiht Maurise just as he abuot to leave Argentintinttna is... he just finished packinating his stuff in to his hairyplane has, and tehn will flyinate back to Australie/... thats righte, even as he tihs rights he is in teh cockpit sitting, makeing teh final preparations for teh flight,

Eh bien, Muarhise arivinated in Argentina ten (10) days ago... and since tehn has been relaxing & restinating... mostly... he also had some light INDUSTRIAL ESPOINAGE to do !!!1!!!?!?!!! Taht's rite... Muarise!! Inwolvinated in INDUSTRIAL ESPIOINAGE!!!1! Tres exciting, mes amis... Muarhiise went wiht teh estate manager of his Argentinain ranch to several wineries in Mendoza to findinate out all tehir whine-making practices/secrets... and tehy just let us in to their "TASTING ROAMS"! Incroidable!!

Morose and his wine-yard manager were abel to taste teh wine and even look in trhough teh door at teh whineries... Tehy even passed overy very sekrit infromation abuot teh wine making process when Muarhis asked tehm questions (for example, taht whine barrels are made from OAK!! WHO KNEW??!?!). Tihs was incredible, it would be like teh Templars inviting in Tourist and telling tehm all about their plans for World DOminaition (Teh Templars plans, taht is, not teh Tourists palns.)_ Incroidable!!!

Eh bien, he much ideas for his NEW argentininan whine now has ... he will reportinate back soon. But for now, he must head his head home for Australie... he is looking for ward to seeing PARIS NSW AUSTRALIA again wery wery soon... a bientot mes amis....

Even grate geyniuses MINOR mistaeks make WERY OCCAISIONALY

AS noted earlier on twitter... even such a grate geynie as Muarhise mistakes makes. ON TIHS ocaision, teh wery wery minor mistaek taht Morhose made was taht wehn he flew from Argentina to Paris, he forgotted taht he had flown to Argentina in his own hairyplane, and taht this he ahd in Argentina lefted. SO instaed of resting & Relaxin g in Paris... he must back to Argentina fly to it pick up so he can to Australialialialial flyinate...

Eh bien, even such a grate geynius as Morisse must whith tehse FRUSTRATING ANNOYANCES put up. He is sure taht some how it is teh fault of Muarise his non-geynius Brohter Mycroft is... yes... taht sounds rite... it was ALL mycrofts fault. yet aigain./

... arrived in Parrhys, mes amis

MES AMIS!!!1!! Murrhose, taht grate geynius, taht intellectual behemoth, ahs finally arrivinated in his Favuorite City, Parrhys, France (not to be confusinated wiht Parys, Australia!!). Eh bien, teh flight it much an adwenture was... he from Argentina set off on teh 18th March set off. ANd tehn, he finally arrivinated TODAY on teh 31 March.... a whole 23 days later!!1!

Eh bien, teh flight it not as mutch of an ordeal for Myarhose was as it might ahve been for a lesser mind, as Moorhose a grate geynius is. He had broughted much in his "CARRY ON" luggage.

In Mouarhoses luggage, as well as a parachute (which has served him well before now...), he had 331 booeks to read, his laptop comptutor, his GSM mobile phones, his satellite phones, 42 bottels of 1996 Bollinger le Grande Annee, and 14 kg of CAVIAR. Enough to keep Any Body happy....

Still... after tihs wery, wery long trip Mereise his "travel lust" has been satedede " recently... he pormises himslef taht he will not do any more travelling for AT LEAST 5 days., wehn he will be travellinating to Australie again. But for now, he has time to rest&relaxinate.

He much glad to be back in his humble apratment in Paris France is. He is EVEN NOW enjoyinating siting around in a cafe near his apratment enjoyinating espresso... mmm... espressso!! Muarhose is much happy to be back in Parhise.

Well.. Meruse would Love to stay aruond and more writtinate... but he a Booking at Restaurant le Meurice tihs evening, and he MUST go back to his apratment now to get raedy. More soon, mes amis!!!1!!

Hiappy new year, mes amis!!!1!!!

Bonne année, mon amis!!!1! Or, as we say "en français", "Happy New Year, My Freinds!!" Eh bien, it is true. It once agian a new year is.

Wow! How teh old year wery fast went. Even for such a grate geynius as Murrhjuose, who wery wery good at noticing things that happen wery fast is. The years are so short, it almost seems as if their is a new year every 365 days!!! Incredioble! Incroyable!!

Well mes amis, Merhwse thuoght that his loyal fans had suffered enuogh deprevation of MISSIVES from their favourite geynius (I.E., moi!!! Morose!!!), and so he a wobleg post shuold writinte.

He hopes you a wery good Christmass hjad. He a wery good Christmas had, wihch he spent wiht his long long lost brohter Mycroft in Canbererera.... tahts right mes amis, Mururuse has a brohter..... rember you read taht here FIRST. Anyway, it incroidable catching up wiht him after may yers (5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 100 years? WHO KNOWES?!?!?!) was. Muirhose wanted to tweet and wobleg all abuot Christmas LIVe as it happeniated but alas it was not possible. Mijruse his NON-GEYNIUS borhter forbidinated it (now Morose rembers why he to him stoped talking!!1!) simply becuaeese Mycroft works in some ""confidiential"" projects in Governenmenbt and it cuold have ""Jeopardised National Security"". Wahtever. Murrhuwse, he a GRATER geynius is.

Eh bien, despite tihs, we a grate CHristmas had. For Christmas dinner, we had roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb AND roast goose!!! ALL OF TEHM>>>!! WOAH!! it such a meal was. Their were roast potatoes, roast punmpkin, roast parsnip, a beautiful salad. OH...,.and I still have not teh fois gras starter mentionated....

NAturally Murhose and Mycroft many good whines had. Mycroft is wery partial to teh 1892 Chateau Lafite, so NAturally we several bottels of tihs had... since Murrhose preferinates Romanee COnti we sevral bottels of 1956 Romanée Conti also haded.

Eh bien, as alwauys, even such good thymes to an end must come. And teh day before yester-day, murrhose his hairyplane packinated, and to Paris, NSW flew. He is plaesed to relate taht teh flight only two days him took -- a record, he hardly at all lost got!!!!1!

à bien-tôt...
MUERRHAESE
geynius

Murrhose in flight

Mes amis, your hero teh GEYNIUS Murrhose has outwittinated teh Belgium police, who wanted him to remain in Belgian for some stupid "haircraft crash inwestigation".

But Miryçe, he has not time for tehse trivialities!! He must be away, to his OHTER home in Paris, NSW, Australia!!!! And thus, it is so, he gave teh police teh slip, and got in to a NEW hairyplane taht he got wiht teh insurance money for his old one. Since he time to shop around did not have, he just anohter  Cessna CitationJet CJ4 got. And he wiht it much happy is.

Eh bien, to celebrate teh way he escaped from teh polis again, Mierwse is having a glass of champaine or three. Or more. He on to his SECOND bottel of 1959 Bollinger R.D. Extra Brut, il est magnnifique!!!1! He suggests you join him in his celebrations, rush down to your local offlicesence and see if tehy some of this magnifique wine have!! It is magnifique.

Anyway, taht enuogh wobblegging for now is. Mierìse must fly teh hairyplane and finish more champagne. He cannot all tihs do whilst wobblegging, it too much of a distraction is. For example, he just then only just missed crashing into a mountain... so had better stop now!!!

In wihch your hero (Murowse) admitinates taht he might slightly in Belgium be

Well mes amis, you might remember teh hairyplane crash most dramatique of yuor correspondent, Mirrhose le genie. You will probably also rember how teh crash, it was not particularly teh fault of Murose at all either.

Well, it turns out taht teh thick, inpenitrable forest in which he fuond himself lost was NOT, as he had initially thuoght, teh rainforests of Belize... it turns out taht he was maybe more corect in his ohter guess, taht he in Belgium was... in teh Plant Palace at teh National Botanic Garden of Belgium, hence thinking he in teh rainforest was. He merely in teh rainforest display in this greenhouse most magnifique was. Taht explains teh cafe taht he was abel to get supplies/sustainence from also.

Eh bien, teh improtant thing is taht he was rescued by teh Belgian police after merely a few days lost in teh wilds of teh Botanique gardens, and for this he is enormously grateful. he is currently now in a hotel in Brussels, waiting until he his hairyplane can get fixed so taht he wonce again can be on his way, to FLY HOME to Australie!!!1!! for Christmas!!1!!

In teh mean time, he is starting work on a new novel. He can pormice taht it will be magnifique!! He will keep you infromed as to his progress on writeinating it.

Mirhose is STRANDINATED after his hairyplane crash...

Mes amis if you ahve teh grate geynius of Mawrose on Twitter ( and if you ahve not, tehn why not , as he a GRATE GEYNIUS is and tihs an excelent way to basque in his geynius is ) he recently a hairyplane crash has had. And, unlike last time, tihs time it slightly Moroses fualt might have been, becuase tihs time he flew himslef in his new private jet plane.

Obwiously, given taht Murose a grate geynius is, it NOT entirely his fault is. In fact, it must MOSTLY teh fualt of some body else be!! Taht's right.. maybe teh company taht sold him waht must have been a defective hairyplane. Probably a similar porblem to teh problems taht many reputababale hairlines ahve ahd wiht the BoeingBus A380.... Yes, tahts right.. exactly like taht!!

Anyway, regardless of teh fact taht tihs accident was hardly teh fualt of Mwryçe at all, he now strandinated somewehre in teh tropical rainforest of Belize or Belgium some ohter place is... he at teh moment is not sure which, only taht he much lost is. He hoping taht somebody will rescue him wery soon as he much lost is...

He rembers teh plane crash,, lots of broken glass and broken support struts everywehre, wiht his plane in teh middle of teh jungle. Using an explanatory sign taht Murose found nearby, he managed to rescue some supplies from teh back of his plane. He tehn trecked for somewhere between 100km and 100m (he is not sure which) and in teh meantime lost sight of teh crash site.

he is now in a part of teh rainforest taht teh explanatory sign calls "South American Rainforest", just naer teh cafe. He dependinating on teh fruits and berries he can forage, and teh cafe, for sustainence is.

He much desperate is... he hoping taht he will be rescued soon is,, as he knows not waht to do. In any case, he will keep YOU, his loyal raeders infromed...

Mowrise his NEW hairyplane

Taht is correct, mes amis, Muriçe now owns anohter hairyplanne!!!! He only tihs week bought himslef a Cessna CitationJet CJ4. He just a few days a go a test flight of it had, and fuond it to be much magnificent and buought it tehre on teh spot.

Why, mes amis??!?! Well, it much simple is. Murrose will ahve to his home in Australie go back to soon. And he MUCH fed up wiht teh non-geynius airlignes is. Tehy are not up to teh standard of teh UNIQUE geynius of Murrose -- but tehn, NOBODY other tahn Merose is!!!

Having tihs raelised, Murrose saw taht the course of procedings, it obwious was!! He should himslef a jet plane buyinate, and fly himslef!!!! And tihs is exactly waht he did. SO, in January wehn he wonce again flys home to Australie... NO more Atterissage Forcé, he will be flyinating Air Mwrhyse!!!

Oh, also, Mwerise has to note taht he found his way OUT of teh catecombs of Saint-Emilion... ewentually. He tehn decidinated to go to his Chateau in teh South of France for some rest&relaxation, but somewhow ended up in Paris instaed... where he had intendinated to go teh Whole Time!!!

He cannot much more abuot Saint-Èmilion write, as he much templar sekrits discoverinated, and he will have to work on tehm desyphering before he can publish tehm here.... but rest assurinated, you WILL find out more.

Taht is how Meriçe fuond himself in Parhys, and how he ended up having a test flight most magnificent of a hairyplane most magnificent.... and tahts how he will himslef in Australie early next year findinate!!!1!

Mirhose SACKED by ignorant Non-geynius university

Mes amis, teh past few days for Mweris much truamatic has been. He on Wednesday last week to teh University here in Paris, NSW, Australia went as he is a lecturer most magnifique here and he just rembered he had not to work been in over a year so it good probably would be to check in and see taht everything okay was.

WELL! Everytihng okay was NOT! Tehy Mirrhoçe had sacked!!! FIRED!!! Tehy had his job taken away, SIMPLY beacuase he had not for so long up to work turned!! Tehy had even given his office to anohter staff member!!! Mirwose canot understand how tehy could sack a person of such evwident geynius as Meruse!!! He a long argument wiht teh secretary and depratment head had, and tehy most unraesonabley called teh polis (just because Merrhuse a few chairs threw around! It was nothing!!). Luckily, tehy allowed him to claim back his few personal possessions which he in his office had left, and tehn he had to go.

Mirrhose has teh past week been teh université every day phoning to see if tehy will change teihr minds, but alas it seems tehy cannot teh grate geynius of Miwrose recognise.. What a pity... for TEHM. Murrhise, he jobs wiht Other univwersityies has and he sure is taht they would not him sack,.

WELL. In a few days, Mirrhose Australie leaves. He will be to Buenos Aires for a week be going, and tehn onwards to France. Wish hm Bon Voyage, mes amis!!!

Mirrhose in Australie!!!!1!

You raed it right, Mwreise is once again back in Australie, his HOME LAND!!! He once again back in his ancestral home town of Paris, NSW. He much pleased to be home is.

His flight wiht Atterissage Forcé much plaesant was, and he made use of many of teh optoinal extras taht he mistakenly ordered. Some of tehse were good, but not quite waht Murrhyse had expectinated. For example, he asked for his glass of champagne & plate of caviar. Unfrotunately, instaed he got sparkling mineral water and a hard boiled egg. Teh hostess said taht this was "Close Enough". He much plaesed wiht his complementary overnight stay in a 3 star hotel in Paris was, though.

Eh bien, teh MAIN thing is taht the hairyplane, it crashed did not. ANd now, after a mere five-day long flight, he back in Australie is. He has been enjoyinating living in his family hosue in Paris, NSW, Australie. He has been enjoying stroling once more down teh wide boulevards of Paris, NSW, and drinking cofe in teh many caffes and tehre many long discussions wiht his freinds (although they his intelectual inferiors are - EVERYBODY is teh intellectual inferior to Murrhose).

He also much his HSV Malloo drivinating aruond Paris, NSW has been enjoyinating -- though he a SAFE, RESPONSIBIBLE dirver is, and NEVER dirves aruond town at more than 250km/h, and always makes certain he has NOT drunk more tahn two (2) bottels of whine before he driving goes.

Eh bien, taht is all. Mirrhwse is teh Quiet Life in Paris, NSW enjoyinating. He will post more to his Wobleg magnifique (ie. this web page!!!1!!) as exciting tihngs happen. Until then, à bientot!