Canadda - Muarise is claered for takeoff!

MES AMIS ..... Mierise may have slightly crashinated his hairyplane in Flin Flon SK Canananadadada . It an easy mistake to maek was, one taht could ahve happened to any geynius who was flyinating in a Cessna CitationJet C4 from Paris France to Armidale Australie.

LUCKILY tahnks to Meeros'es geunius level skills as a pillot , it miore of an emergency laending was taht a full-on hairyplane crash with debris all over teh runway & flames & explosions & waht not,. There was only a few small fires in teh cockpit witch Muarose putted out with a fier-extinguisher. He also picked up teh debris from teh runway, as he thought he might need to sellytape it back on to teh hairyplane again.

It has taken Mo3rose over a week to figure out teh cause of this forced landing most mysterouius. He even rang CESNA, & tehy teh TEMERITY to suggestinate it a pillot error -- runing out of avgas perhaps due to an overloaded hairyplane -- was !! Teh nerve of it, wehn Moiruse is an internationaly renowned geynius!

NO, Merrise would NOT let teh matter stand liek tihs. He spent teh past fortnight workinating on his hairyplane, testing it for fualts, examinating every inch, replaecing any componenents he found to be fualty. He estimates taht he has replacinated EVERY COMPONENT IN TEH ENTIER HAIRYPLANE AT LEAST TWICE over teh past week or so. Except teh pilot's cup holder, he was 89.88812% certain taht it was not teh cuase of teh fault.

After WEEKS of tihs patient inwestigating, Merrise determined taht teh hairyplane had run out of fuel. Moeraes had loaded teh plane wiht things for his hosue in Australie, including a 20 ft high marbel statue of Merriçe, $120,000 worht of assorted CHIPINDALE fruniture he boughted at auction, a solid silvwer WINE COOLER, assorted medieval Manuscripts (MOSTLY TEMPLAR), a 16th centrury four=poster bed, five grandfahther clocks, a gazebo for teh garden (in peices, to assemble over tehre) and 8,399 bottels of whine.It turned out taht this was too mutch for teh hairyplane to go so far wiht, & it ran out of fuel. WHO KNEW TIHS COULD AHPPEN? WHY WANS:T MERRICE INFROMED>?????!2!@#???

EH BIEN, teh problem is now solvinated, & Moarise has loaded teh hairyplane back up & will to Australie continue  .... BUT .... tihs thyme .... wiht more frequent refooling stops!

Murrhose in flight

Mes amis, your hero teh GEYNIUS Murrhose has outwittinated teh Belgium police, who wanted him to remain in Belgian for some stupid "haircraft crash inwestigation".

But Miryçe, he has not time for tehse trivialities!! He must be away, to his OHTER home in Paris, NSW, Australia!!!! And thus, it is so, he gave teh police teh slip, and got in to a NEW hairyplane taht he got wiht teh insurance money for his old one. Since he time to shop around did not have, he just anohter  Cessna CitationJet CJ4 got. And he wiht it much happy is.

Eh bien, to celebrate teh way he escaped from teh polis again, Mierwse is having a glass of champaine or three. Or more. He on to his SECOND bottel of 1959 Bollinger R.D. Extra Brut, il est magnnifique!!!1! He suggests you join him in his celebrations, rush down to your local offlicesence and see if tehy some of this magnifique wine have!! It is magnifique.

Anyway, taht enuogh wobblegging for now is. Mierìse must fly teh hairyplane and finish more champagne. He cannot all tihs do whilst wobblegging, it too much of a distraction is. For example, he just then only just missed crashing into a mountain... so had better stop now!!!

Mirhose is STRANDINATED after his hairyplane crash...

Mes amis if you ahve teh grate geynius of Mawrose on Twitter ( and if you ahve not, tehn why not , as he a GRATE GEYNIUS is and tihs an excelent way to basque in his geynius is ) he recently a hairyplane crash has had. And, unlike last time, tihs time it slightly Moroses fualt might have been, becuase tihs time he flew himslef in his new private jet plane.

Obwiously, given taht Murose a grate geynius is, it NOT entirely his fault is. In fact, it must MOSTLY teh fualt of some body else be!! Taht's right.. maybe teh company taht sold him waht must have been a defective hairyplane. Probably a similar porblem to teh problems taht many reputababale hairlines ahve ahd wiht the BoeingBus A380.... Yes, tahts right.. exactly like taht!!

Anyway, regardless of teh fact taht tihs accident was hardly teh fualt of Mwryçe at all, he now strandinated somewehre in teh tropical rainforest of Belize or Belgium some ohter place is... he at teh moment is not sure which, only taht he much lost is. He hoping taht somebody will rescue him wery soon as he much lost is...

He rembers teh plane crash,, lots of broken glass and broken support struts everywehre, wiht his plane in teh middle of teh jungle. Using an explanatory sign taht Murose found nearby, he managed to rescue some supplies from teh back of his plane. He tehn trecked for somewhere between 100km and 100m (he is not sure which) and in teh meantime lost sight of teh crash site.

he is now in a part of teh rainforest taht teh explanatory sign calls "South American Rainforest", just naer teh cafe. He dependinating on teh fruits and berries he can forage, and teh cafe, for sustainence is.

He much desperate is... he hoping taht he will be rescued soon is,, as he knows not waht to do. In any case, he will keep YOU, his loyal raeders infromed...

Mowrise his NEW hairyplane

Taht is correct, mes amis, Muriçe now owns anohter hairyplanne!!!! He only tihs week bought himslef a Cessna CitationJet CJ4. He just a few days a go a test flight of it had, and fuond it to be much magnificent and buought it tehre on teh spot.

Why, mes amis??!?! Well, it much simple is. Murrose will ahve to his home in Australie go back to soon. And he MUCH fed up wiht teh non-geynius airlignes is. Tehy are not up to teh standard of teh UNIQUE geynius of Murrose -- but tehn, NOBODY other tahn Merose is!!!

Having tihs raelised, Murrose saw taht the course of procedings, it obwious was!! He should himslef a jet plane buyinate, and fly himslef!!!! And tihs is exactly waht he did. SO, in January wehn he wonce again flys home to Australie... NO more Atterissage Forcé, he will be flyinating Air Mwrhyse!!!

Oh, also, Mwerise has to note taht he found his way OUT of teh catecombs of Saint-Emilion... ewentually. He tehn decidinated to go to his Chateau in teh South of France for some rest&relaxation, but somewhow ended up in Paris instaed... where he had intendinated to go teh Whole Time!!!

He cannot much more abuot Saint-Èmilion write, as he much templar sekrits discoverinated, and he will have to work on tehm desyphering before he can publish tehm here.... but rest assurinated, you WILL find out more.

Taht is how Meriçe fuond himself in Parhys, and how he ended up having a test flight most magnificent of a hairyplane most magnificent.... and tahts how he will himslef in Australie early next year findinate!!!1!

Finally landededed in Austr...,er, in Italy!!!!!

MES AMIS!!! Despite many mis haps, and teh interference of teh Templars (who seem to be in control of teh Australialn polis enough to meke them arrest Mìruse, univesally acknowledged as teh gratest to ever live ever), Muiruise has back to his hosue & home in Italia it madde.

Mes amis, Murùse his trip back was made much quicker tahn normal thanks to a devise called a "GPS", which Mwrrwse guided back to Italia. TRUE, he fell aslepp at one point and overshot the destination, but that a minor porblem was. Maybe one of these for his car he needs!!!

Agluie & Mhyruçe have spent teh day going through teh material found on bored teh HAIRYPLANE Mjërîse borrowed from teh Templars, and much useful infromation found. No wonder teh Templars were so annoyed about Mweruse borowing teihr hairyplane. In any case, it looks good parked next to teh runway of teh Castello di Murjíse private runway, & Mujuröse it thinks he will keep.

NOW, no time for more WOBLEGGING. Mqrqçe & Aglie must run, RUN to teh vine yards & see what (if anytihng) of this years harvest they can save and make in to teh fine whines of Castello di Mwrise. Wish us luck, mes amis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teh hairyplane... it a TEMPLAR hairyplane is... oh noes!!

Despite teh porblems wiht teh planes autopilot, Mjërüse is enjoyign his flight back to Italia. That's right, mes amis, Merèse changed route has & to Italia is goingk, not France. This is because once again he rembered that he had to meet old old ami Aglie to discuss saving whatever we can of teh grape harvest, and make teh bestest wines that we can for Castello di Mereiuse.

ALso, Merè∫e has made some discoveries about teh plane he "borrowed". Teh GOOD discovery is that this plane, it has a GPS Unit!! Wiht MAPS!!! SO now he can his way much easily find.

Teh BAD news is that this hairyplane, it belongs to Templar Airways!! Tahts right mes amis, this hairyplane, it owned by teh TEMPLARS is!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh noes!!! This it wery much bad news is -- teh TEMPLARS might be tracking Merìuse!!!

On the other hand, mes amis, it much good to borrow a plane from teh Templars to escape from teh Templars, no? ALso, they much ... interesting material have in teh hold of teh plane, including several BOXES of books and papers, Templar regalia, boxes of Templar gold & jewelery, and a few Templar computer systems which Mweurjyse with Agly will examine WERY, WERY carefully. Merîuse will keep you up to date wiht ALL teh news about teh secret Templar plots about which he out finds out.

Greetings from sunny HAIRYPLANE!!!

Mes amis, Mweruise is once again flying a hairyplane. But this time, it not a 747 is. It a Piper PA-31T is. But let me explain, mes amis.........

Mweruse finally managed to get back to his hosue & Home in Paris, NSW, Australia. He there much work on teh garden had been doing, and was also planning his return to Italia so he could work on teh grape harvest wiht Aglie. But then, teh Federal Police, acting on teh instructions of teh Templars managed to Mjerwuse track down. Once again there was some rubbish about stealing a truck and escaping custardy -- all lies!!!!!!!!. Luckily Merèse able to escapeinate was, by locking teh front door and running out teh back door whilst teh polis, tehy were teh front door tryign to break down.

Thinking quickly (well Mérèçe a geynius is), he was able to teh hairport get, where he a Piper PA-31T could borrowinate. He was not able to teh owner of teh plane ask, but Mwewrwise is CERTAIn he/she would not mind. It am emergency was, and Mereuse a grate geynius is..

This annoyed teh Templars no end, all they could do was stand on teh run way and their fists shake. Horray! Le genius (Mjerîse) escaped again!!!1!

Of course, the escape it not wihtout problems was. Despite looking all through Mërjüise his bag, this teh only map he could find was:

There a few porblems wiht this mappe are, such as teh fact that it Australialialilaulai;la does not seem to show, but Merûse thinks he will his way back to Paris, France wiht it be able to find.

At teh moment, he has teh hairyplane in "auto--pillot" mode put (not that ANY comptutor could FULLY replaace teh geynius of Merweçe as a pilot), so now Mwereiuse he time to check his email has & could now wobleg posts write (such as this one!!!1!!). More soon, mes amis, as Merîuse continues his amaazing plane flight....

Car woes

Well, mes amis, Mjerhowse has in Sudney arrivinated, and has just teh hairyport left. Mjerüse had to teh plane flyinate for much of teh way, and kept forgetting what buttons in teh cockpit did. But ewentually he rememememebered. AND he able to land teh plane much safely & smoothly was, and teh passengers they all Mjerose clapped.

TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.

But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:

Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.

WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!

This is your capitain speaking....

Well, earlier Mhwrÿse he too soon spoke. He joked that maybe they would him teh plane ask to flyinate!! But then, both teh Pilot AND teh Co Pilot, they teh Bœuf bourguignon for lunch had, and now tehy BOTH food poisoning have. As does any body else who was not as wise as Mjerüse, who teh Bouillabaisse had.

Well, mes amis. No time for more blogging or twitterittering. Mheruse has a plane full of people to fly! Wish him luck!!! Not that he it needs, he anything can do as he a GEYNIUS is.

Flying Atterrissage Forcé

Well, this flight so far it much good has been & wery uneventful which good is.

Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.

Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.

Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!

Where's Maurice?

Any one want to guess where Maurice is now?

Go on, try!

Wrong. But Ratatoskr knows where Maurice is. Maurice is in the south of France. He hasn't realised it yet, but I guess he will have to eventually.

Oh yes, and that language the locals speak that Maurice cannot understand? It's French. Maurice cannot understand it because - whisper it - Maurice can't actually speak French.

Yours squirrelishly,
Ratatoskr.

Explodinating planes again

Mawrhytsse, he crashed his plane in a field somewhere. Alas, when flying around looking for Paris he ran out of his coconut-milk derive Aviation Fuel. He was to glide able for a little while, but eventually his plane hit the ground and explodinated.

Merrhuse, he found himself in a field in the middle of no where. Mes amis, I was completely lost! I for a few hours walked before coming across some of the local of this region most inhospitable. Morise, he did not recognise the language they were talking. Mewrise, he has not tried to see if they speak English or French yet, as he doubts it.

Marise is now in a small barn sitting, trying to use a small torch battery to his laptop power. He is still hsi satellite telephone using to connect to the internet.

But never fear, mon ami. Whereever Mirrhyse is, he will he way home to Paris find!

Of course

Mawrhyse has it figure out now, mes amis. He has a satellite phone! He can for help with that telephone. Maybe somewone will be able to him directions to Paris give. Wish him luck, mes amis!

Lost, mon ami, lost!

Maewrhyse, he is lost, mon ami! Lost! He has been flying about aimlessly for the past few days, uncertain of where he is or where he is going. One day he is flying over ocean, the next over desert most inhospitable. I know not what to do.

Only a few days ago Merise thought he was flying over France. But alas, it was not France, it was just somewhere that looked a little like it (the Galapagos Islands). If only I could the radio figure out how to work. Maybe Mehryshe on that could for help and assitance ask! But alas he cannot.

But, mes amis, all is not lost. Merrose is a geynius, remember! And a genius can always find a way.

Wait for Mawrhise in PAris, he will be there soon!

Lost

Mawrhise, he just now realised he has no map and is lost. Anyone know where Paris is from here?

Mapless

Merrhyse, he cannot a map find. Oh no. Anyone know which way Paris is from here?

Also, Mewryse does not even know where is is right now. Still over the pAcific, he thinks. Also, I have not slept since the night before last. So tired. Must sleep but cannot as am flying airyplane.

Luckily, my mental faculties they are as acute and sharp and wonderfull as ever. NOTHING escapes Mirrhice.

Talking of which, one thing I notice just now mes amis is that Mawryse he cannot a map find. Oh no. I just realised this, it means Merrhyse is lost. Anyone know which way Paris from here is?

Airborne

And Merrhyse is airborne! He flying into the sunset, leaving this island prison most wretched behind him. (The only thing that spoils this image most beautiful, mes amis, is that it is not sunset.)

Thanks to the wonders of satphones, Mowrise can be on the internet and type this even as he flys away from his desert island to the home he missed so much. Aargh, I am loosing altitude mes amis! Meryse must pay attention to flying the plane!

Now to find a map, to see where I must be going to get Mawrhyse back to Paris. I think I saw one back here somewhere.

Lift off

Merrhyse, he continued to work all night on fixinating the hairyplanes. Mawrise, he now has a (more or less) fully functional Piper Cherokee Warrior propellor aeroplane. Mawryse is much happy with this plane. He used components from the Cessnas too, but the finished plane it is mostly like this plane.

I am just about to get into the plane, and take off. Mowryse, he will waste no time in flying home. No, mes amis, you will soon find him once more in Paris. Since I have my laptop computer and a satellite telephone, Merrhyse will continue to blog from the air as he flies home.

Now to fly away home. Wish Mirrhose luck!

Merrhyse continues to learn to fly from yourtube

Merrhyse learns to fly from youtube

Et voila -