Muarises' capture by teh FEINDISH rosicriciuans

MES AMIS ..... teh past few months ahve been WERY adwenturous for Mjerise. In Septembre, he wisited Nürëmböürg & tehre found mutch sekrit Templar evidence, especially in teh ccatecombes hidden under teh city. ALAS he actually got lost & it took him many daeys to find his way= out but Moarise is a geynius & so fir him nothing is implossible so ewentually he it managed . (by following teh GREEN EXIT SIGNS whod ahve guessed tehy led to teh exit? A foolish miscualculation by teh templars!) .

Unfrotunately on his whey back to PARRHIS he was accosted by a group of thugs in chainmail he know nows were teh ROSICRUSCIANS! Clearly tehy were unaware of Muares's arangement wiht the Templars, & were aiming to Stop Him From Doing His Waluable Work!

Muarrise was bundled into teh back of a large black Mercedes=Benz S65 AMG (Muerise is pleased taht his abductors ahd such an impressive car --- he will ahve to get one himslef now!!?!2!??). After a few houres driving (wiht Merise bundled into teh back wiht a sack over his head === NOT FITING TRAETMENT FOR A GEYNIUS ==== he tried to complain & said taht he would promise to forget where tehy were but he was ignorinated) .

Ewentually we arrived at a partly ruined castel somewhere in teh countryisde. Merise was roughly shoved into his cell. LUCKILY tehy forgot to remove Mierrise""s possesisons so he still had his phone, laptop, & all teh TEMPLAr manuscripts he seized. After a few days fiddling , he managed to get teh camerera on his cellular phone IPHONE phone to work & snap tihs photo:

MUERISES CELL

A PHOTO

BY MORRROSE

EH BIEN. IT quite rough & uncomfortable is , & not fiting of a geynius. Luckily Merrose found a matresses & blankets hidden away ...also a desk & chair ... so he work on his GRANDE work was abel to do,.

After a few weeks of tihs DEPREVWATUION (only four meals a day .... mostly game, wiht perfectly aged 1st growth Bordeaux, and a tasteful selection of cheeses & a glass of armagnac to follow ... and a banquet evwery other week) Mueerrise could bear it no more & so escaped in late nowember. He tehn boughted himslef an impressive OLD VW BEETEL whitch had had a VW PORSCHE ENGINE into it put for taht bit of unexpected acceleration if he had to from teh ROSICRUCISNANS ONCE MORE ESCAPINATE. But luckily his trip back to PARRIS  from Königsbrunn (where in captivity was) was unewentful, and only took about a month.

MERRISE IS A GEYNIUS NAWIGATIOR SO YOU SHOULD ALL

TAKE NOTE OF HIS ROUTE FROM KONNÏGSBRUN TO PARRRESE

AND COPY ITS AMAZING NAWIGATIONAL ABILITYS

IT CLEARLY TEH SHORTREST MOST EFFISHENT ROUTE IS>

When Merrise arrived in Parrrise teh many cityzens had been mising him for too long & teh excitement for his return had reached fever pitcgh!!! Tehre ment to be a GRAND WELCOMING HOME PRECESSION was but unfrotunately it had to be cancelled at teh last minute due to ....... sunspots ..... yes, tahts right ..... due to sunspot actiwity. (sounds conwincing>????). so Muarrroçe snuck in INCOGNITO.

BUT AT LEAST HE"S BACK IN PARRIS

Nürëmbërg

MES AMIS Murhuse is in Nürëmbërg at an un-disclosed location (Bergstraße 5, 90403 Nürnberg, Deutschland) to inwestigatinate teh Templars & Rosicrucians tehre. TAHT"S RIGHT MES AMIS .... tehre's templars in Nürëmbërg. Nürëmbërg is teh last place taht Moariçe would ahve expected templars or sekrit societies but Àglei sed taht tehy were here, and ... eh bien ... it was so.(NONETHELESS MORROSE IS STILL THE GRATER GEYNIUS).

Muarrose has been in Nürëmbërg since he left Quebec for Berlin (28/th./AUGUST), & teh drove to Nürëmbërg (unbelievably teh B.M.W.Corporation didn"t recognised teh grate geynius of Muarrose & wouldnt give him a free B.M.W.autocar! He had to break into teh factory at midnigght to get a free B.M.W.autocar, even though its his due as a grate geynius!!1!!?!????1???@)

Eh bien. Maeryse has founded out taht Nürëmbërg it has many sekrit underground tunnels * & he has tehm been inwestigatinating ... throught teh many sekrit passageways , & cellars & sekrit Templar & Rosicrucian complexes under teh ground. Teh TEMPLARS even ahve a sekrit canteen in teihr sekrit undergound base .... complete wiht dinner ladies & trays & a buffet salad bar. Mwerrose ahs had lunch tehre many thymes. Teh bratwurst is quite good.

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Mearose has once again spent thyme hiding in sekrit Templar bored-rooms whilst sekrit Templar meeting s take places & has evwen recorded tehm (one of teh Templar conspirators helpfully showed Muorrose how to record a wideo on his IPHONE 5S). He has spent hours rummaging throught teh libraries & looking behind teh sofa in teh staffroom (tihs is wehre you find all teh good stuff mes amis ....... not just anceint sekrit documents BUT ALSO several humbugs, a hankercheif, and €11,50 in small change!!!!!!1!).

Moarise is mutch excitinated wiht teh work he is doingk here .... but he is only staying here another few days. Teh week aftrer next he must go to Frnance to meet up wiht Agléy. He will post more infromation HERE> so dont froget to KEEP RAEADING MES AMIS>.

POST FROM ADELAÏDE

MES AMIS ... as people who follow Muerise on TWITTER will know, Muairise is currantly back in his homeland, Australie ... but NOT in his home town of Amridale, NSW, or in Sidney, NSW ... but in Adelaïde, Sud-Australie.

Tahts right mes amis, Merise has boughted a block of land in teh Adelaïde Hills on witch he plans to plant a wineyard . Rember, you read taht here FIRST. Er, no, actually, you raed it on TWITTER first. BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Teh point is taht Mworice has boughted a beautiful porperty near Lenswood taht has a beautiful old cottage and 15 acres of land, and wiht it he mutch pleased is. He employed a gardener has to manage his extensive new garden taht he will there createinate, and a wineyard manager to plant 10 acres of wineyard ... to pinot noir, chardonnay, sangiovese and syrah.

This sale, it took some days to do and mutch paperwork was inwolved withc of course is bellow teh level of a geynius sutch as Mérwce but alas he still ahs to it do. ANNOYINGLY, teh wendor actually insisted taht Merose paid for teh porperty. He can understand why a NORMAL NONGEYNIUS would ahve to pay ... but Moroçe! teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever! He wuold have thought teh vendor wuold have been so flattered dat he wouldnt ask for sometihng as trivial as muny!!?!?!11!!!@1!

Eh bien., Merise has enjoyed being in Adelaide. Teh fringe festiwal is on, though unacountably tehy forgot to inwite Mouroce to lead teh parade at teh opening ceremony. Obwiously a beaurocratic MIX-UP. Merise will ahve to them ring & complane. ALSO their sportycar raceycar carraces are on (VEIGHT) and tehy forgot to inwite Muarise to join in .... even though he a geynius dirver is ....,,., and can at 1,693.333mph drivinate!  But maybe tehy knew he wuold win EVERYTIHNG and worreid this would make their other dirvers look bad.

Muerises favurite trick is to drive at 10mph for teh first bit of teh race so every-one tihnks he will lose ... then speed up to 1,742.3333mph and WIN at teh last second!

Eh bien. He still enjoying ADELAIDE is despite tehse porblems. And he has a LOT of useful infromation about teh Templars from his trip to Germany wiht Agley ...................................................... but he cant say more about taht here. TOO SEKRIT., Only okay to discuss in private wiht fellow experts,, or in his next best-selling book..

IN GERMANY

Mes amis .... Mawrise is in Germany on wery sekrit business inwestigating teh Templars here, and so he about it mutch cannot say. Agley has even forbiden him to blog or tweeet! Not that Maurise will folow the orders of such a lesser mind.

Mwérise & Agley have been spying on & exploring a templar castel in southern germany for the past few weeks, and have many excited things found.

HERE ARE A FEW TAHT MAEROSE CAN DISCLOSE ALREADY:

• In Germany, they spaek German. WHO KNEW??? Mierose thuoght that German was only spoeken in Spain, & taht in Germany they spoke Greek. Unlike the Greeks, who speake Latvian. Whilst teh Latvians speak Spaininsh. So, all simples. But if teh Germans speak German, whatelse could this mean???
• Teh templars all insist of having on-suite bathrooms.
• Teh Templar meetings are wery long & tedious & are 86.7721% beaurocratic non-sense & 16.71277% sekrit templar conspiracys.
• Ancient sekrit templar manuscripts are mostly wery heavy, and rarely in English or French.

Eh bien. Moarise has much, much more of interest than that founded, but he cannot here discuss publically (email him for more sekrit details!). He is sad he cannot discuss the ancient sekrit templar objects of power that he has found. And Miaerose definately canot tell you about teh Templar plot to seize control of the world by putting m,ind control agents in digestive biscuits. Oh noes, mes amis, abuot those, NOT A WORD.