Defeatinated

It is a rare wobleg post for Mirrose, but even a grate geynius must some times raelise taht he has been defeatinated.

Merjuse about it much does not want to talk, but he will just this little bit say.

He teh Third Option decideded to yesterday take, and so INITAILLY he pretendinated to teh Doctor assist. We both stoped Agly from teh world taking over, and took teh Anceint Sekrit Templar Objects of Power off him. Myreçe made certian that it was Mirowse who ended up holding these. Tehn we took Agly back to 2010, and left ihm in his apratment on teh Boulevard Saint-Germain in Paris. We did NOT him teh TARDIS let keep.

Tehn, wehn Mirose & teh Doctor were back in teh Tardis, Murrhose revaeled his Feindish Plan to teh Doctor. He grabed teh Templar Orb of Power and was it abuot to  use (ignorinating teh entreaties from teh Doctor) wehn teh Orb started to snigger. Also, Mirrose noted taht it was scaly. Tehn, it jumped out of Mirroses hand and ran off. Oh noes, it was teh Chamelelelelleone again!!! Mirrwse thought that he it had off Mureses scent last year thrown!!! And yet, it was NOT SO!!!

Murrhose still teh Doctor treid to defeatinate, but wihtout teh Templar Objects of Power, it not possible was. Mirrose also treid to conwinse teh Doctor taht it would be GOOD for Merrese to be in control of teh entire world, and how a GEYNIUS of teh stature of Mirrwse would be abel to fixinate EVERY PORBLEM IN TEH WORLD EVER, but he listen would not. Teh Doctor, claerly an Inferior Mind to Murrjse, was NOT abel to recognise teh Grate Geynius of Mirrose.

Alas, he Mirrose back at his Castel in Umbria left him, a few days after Mirrose had left to time tarvelling go. Teh Docteur has not even Mirrhose his Time Machine let keep!! He has it confiscated!!! TAHTS NOT FARE!!!!!!1!!

ALAS for Mirrose, and ALAS for teh WORLD taht it missetd out on teh OPORTUNITY to have a geynius such as Murrhyse in control!!!!!

Quelle catastrophie!

Mes amis, just as Aglie and Muirose teh geynius were together teh book ancient they foundinated calle d "Gli antichi segreti dei Templari together readinating, a thing most terrible it happened!! Mon bon ami Aglei, he had jiust to a part most interesting got, when Mirrhose he a sniggering sound herd. Mes amis, you caanot imagine how much this it upset Maerhoswe. He this sound knew!! It was teh chameleleon!!! IT MUST BE, mes amis!!!

But things, they were just about to much worse get. Mon ami Aglie, he said "Odd parchment this book is printed on. It feels almost... scaly". Then   Mirrhose he raelised. Teh book! IT was real not, it teh cameleon in disguise was!!! At that piont teh book jumped out of teh hands of Aglie, and in to a corner scuttled. Aglie, he most amazed and disappointed was. But then he teh incident wiht teh 1929 Möet & Chändön Champagne rememberinated!! AND tehn he knew taht Mirrhowse he must by teh cameleleon being tormented must be!

Eh bien, now Muruse teh geynisu and his bon ami Aglie most continue to around teh castelli di mirise lookinate. May be we will some REAL treasures findinate!!!

Dinner with Mon Ami M. Agliè - not a triumphe for MUIORWSE

Well, mes amis, Muirohyse he has been putting it off. But he can pit it off no longer! He promiced his raeders most loyal that he a full account of his dinner with his bon ami Agliè would here post. But alas, it well did not go.

Teh evening it started well, Mon Ami Aglie was wery happy to again see Miorwse and we had much to discuss. Muiirowse had Aglìè to Muirrowses home most beauitful in Armidale, France for dinner around had invited him. As normal, Aglie was impeccably dressed in a double-brested pin striped suit. This, it sets off his grey hair and his gold rimmed glasses in a manner which is most magnifique. Almost magnifique, but not as marvellous as MUIORWSE!!! Muirose the 1978 Château Margaux got out, and Agliè he this very much liked.

We spoke once more about our topic most favourite, teh Knights Templars. Aglie, he told me that the Templars had a plan made, which would last 600 years and conclude this century. They were a message most mysticall together putting together, with meetings between different groups once every hundred years. Each only knew how to contact the next group of Templars in teh list, but alas it all fell arpart. Teh secret in some map is hidden. Aparently, some people anything would do to this map get -- Muirrose thinks maybe even Aglie would, though this he would not admit. Muirowse told him more about teh secret templars map he pretendinates to have, and discussed the Templar/Rossicrucian plot behind digestive biscuits. To Muirowse, it all seemed to be going well.

Alas, things they went down hill wery badly when Mirrwose he the main course out got -- vegemite on toast. Muirowse, he served this up wiht teh 1965 Château Cheval Blanc. Aglie, he did not with this seem much happy. But then he smiled, and said "Aah! Chocolate spread! My favourite! Not exactly what I was expecting, but still..." Muirowse wondered whether to him correct: it was not chocolate spread, it was vegemite! But then mon bon ami Aglie picked up a peice of toast so enthusiastically, Muirrowse him did not want to discourage.

When Agly into teh toast bit into it, he looked surprised, then shocked, then disgusted. "What is wrong with this chocolate spread?" he of Muiriwse enquired, and Miorwhyse was able to inform him informationally that it not chocolate spread was, it vegemite was. Aglie he was not very pleased. He with a agate lidded gold and silver snuffbox he from his vest pocket had removed fidddled. He most agitated looked. Apparently, he a proper meal with fine French foods had expected. Well, Muirhyse had sort of hinted that this is what he woudl provide -- but still!! Such limits do not to a geynius like Moirrese apply.

Still, Muirroswe decided to the desert to skip. He got out the 1958 Château Ausone got to drink whilst Muirrhyse he the €5 Pavlova from teh fridge got out and on a plate put. With this desert most deligthful, Muirrhyse a 1851 Château d'Yquem Premier Cru Supérieur Sauternes got out to have. Aglie with teh SAUTERNE most delighted was, but not with the PAVLOVA.

Muiirhyse looked around for something extra to the dinner save. And then he saw it! On the book case of his living room - a bottle of 1929 Moët & Chandon Cuvée Dom Perignon Brut Millésimé! Just the thing Muirrowse needed! Also, he to teh fridge went and got a selection of finest French cheses to with it have! Muirowse these brought out to Aglie, and he most impressed was. Muirrwse was just about to take the top off the CHAMPAGNE, when alas! Catastrophy! THe worst, it happened! THe champagne bottle sniggered briefly, and then scuttled off teh table and ran out of the room. The Champagne, it was NOT REAL! IT was the CHAMELEON! Muiowryse had this champagne so wanted to try, that now he will have to a bottle of it buy!!! Also, Aglie most dissapointed was, so he will with him have to share it.

Luckily, then Muirrowse realised that they had not finished teh 1851 Château d'Yquem Premier Cru Supérieur Sauternes. Muirrowese and Aglie, they then the rest of this finished. Then Muiirowse another bottled of the 1851 d'Yquem got, and it also was finished. Muirrowse cannot after this much rememeber.

But alas, he does that the evening a disaster was remememebr. A DISASTER, mes amis! Even for a GEYNIUS such as MUIEAORYSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANd it not MUIROWSEs fault was, no. It was all beyond his control. He wonders what he will do to things make better next time....

Roman Treasure found in Northern France

From the Norwegian newspaper Den Ekorn Avis:

Roman Treasure found in Northern France

Luck doesn't come much better than it does for M. Caméléon de Madagascar. Whilst walking in the woods near his home in Pas-de-Calais, he spotted a Roman treasure hoard which archaeologists are already describing as "the find of the decade". Le Musee du Louvre has offered an undisclosed sum to M. de Madagascar for the find.

Well, Maurice, looks like this time it was 'the real thing', eh? Not some trick played on you by that reptilian friend of yours. Only trick he played was to actually collect the treasure that you couldn't be bothered to even look at properly.

Maurice 0, Chameleon 8.

Yours squrrelishly,

Ratatoskr.

This geynius is not fooled this time,, mes amis!!

Well, mes amis, Muirhose he was in the woods near his home in Armidale, France once again for a walk going. Well, when he was along the path through the woods walking he over something tripped! THis , it was most undignified for a geynius such as Miaeröçe!!! Well, when he went back to shout at whatever it was that tripped up the geynius Miroise, he found it was a buried Roman treasure!

FOr a moment, Miaeurowse he overjoyed was. Roman treasure! THis, it would more muney for Muirowse be. But then Maurose he rememebered. That chameleon in the area is! It must be him, mes amis, trying to your hero must magnifique trick again. Oh no, you cannot Murrhise the geynius the same way fool twice!

Eh bien, Muirise the geynius he took no further notice of this chameleleon most fiendish, he had it fooled! HE just on his way walked, not looking back at all!!!

MAIURHYSE 1, CHAMELEOEN 7. SO FAR, mes amis. WATCH THIS SPACE. Maurice le génie triomphe! Él no puede ser golpeado, mes amis, no siempre!!! No, en absoluto!!!!

Bad premonitions

Mes amis, a terrible thing it has happened just as Maerowse he for a drive about to go was! Just now, mes amis, Muirowse out to where he his cars keeps parked went. First Muirohse he had to decide which car to drivinate -- eventually he decided on teh Bugatti. Just as Mhaerwse he was teh car unlocking, he a sniggering from with the shrubbery heard!!! Miurose, he was gobsmacked. He, it could not believe! It must be that feindish chameleon! it must, mes amis!!!

Miorose, he straight back inside went. This too bad is, really. Just when things so well they were going. He does not know what will next happen -- but Miuarwise he does know that that chameleon it always trouble is. And moiuraêçe he never rwong is.

Oh no!!!!!

Mes amis, Mawrêyce he just at his home in teh south of france once again arrivenated. Well, he was to be back home once again much happy.

But alas! Woe! When he his house keys picked up to unlock his front door, he noticed that they were scaly, not metallic. Also, the keys they started to snigger. Mårrowse much shocked was. Then the keys wriggled out of Murrhuses hands, and ran away into the garden. Oh no! It, it was not the house keys de Murise! It, it was the chameleon in disguise again!!

Well, Murrhise he knows not what to do. He only one option now has. He must to his house in Armidale France return, and get the real keys of his south of france home. Then he must once more drive back to teh south of france.

Well, mes amis, Muiuruse he is in his old Dodge car sitting right now. Once he on this post has hit the "PUBLISH POST" button, he will then put aside his laptop comptutor and to Armidale France drive off again once more.

Wish him luck, mes amis!!!

Found at last!

MES AMIS!!!! Mawrise has just noticed that his new iphonE 3G, it has GPS! And maps! And GPS! And maps! Saved, Maerowse is saved!

Hmm... lets see, amis, where is Maerowse? Le IPHONE, it is just now getting a fix on le sattelitles so it can Mawurse tell where he is. Ah! There. Marrhose he is near Armidale in Northeast france. Sacre bleu! This cannot be! Maewrise when he went for his walk was at his chateau in the south of France!! How could he the whole of France have walked accross to get to Armidale without noticing?

Eh bien, Maeurroise he much releived is. It just a short walk to his home in Armidale, France is. Soon he will be home and dry, once again in his Armidael home which he loves wery much mes amis. And hopefully that dratted chameleon is nowhere nearby.

Inadaquate food

Mes amis, Meaerowse has been lost in the woods for he knows not how long, walking and walking hoping that he would his château most beautitufl again find eventually. But alas, it was not to be. Maurhise he has not his way home found. 

He has been eating blackberriess and mushrooms and acorns and believe me, mes amis, they are no substitues for the wonders Murrhuse his chef can whip up in le kitchen! Last night he was reduced to eating a caesar salad he found in a hollow log, wiht only blackforest gateau that he in a hollow tree trunk found for desert.

Also, Miuriçe thinks that he has the chameleon seen a couple of times. This is most distristressing, not good mes amis.

Eh bien, Muawruse is sure that he will home again get wery soon. Moiurse is a geynius, and for a GEYNIUS such as him NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!! NOTHING, mes amis!!!!!!

Readers Questions

From: Chameleon [chameleon@snigger.com.mg]
To: Ratatoskr
Subject: iPhones

So you did end up going to Australia to "acquire" an iPhone for Maurice eh?

Snigger.

~Chameleon

Nope, Ratatoskr didn't. Said it wasn't gonna happen, it didn't can't and won't. End of story. Had a very important package to deliver for the All Father. One that the Hooded One, Grimnir, just couldnt trust anyone else with. Can't say any more. Nope, not even for acorns. He ain't called the Terrible One for nothing.

Still, Ratatoskr did preorder a 3G iPhone. But it's for himself, not Maurice. Just wait till Maurice finds out, eh? Oh boy, oh boy will that be fun. Stand back and watch the fireworks.

Yours squirrelishly,

Ratatoskr.

Oh nO!

Maerowse, he was taking his newly foundedinated traesure to the auction house Christies to be valualuated when suddenly it started sniggering. Mes amis, this really was too much for Marrhose for him to bear!

He the Rolls Royse car stopped, and had another look at the treasure chest. Mes amis, it still seemed as traesure chesty as before, but then suddenly it started moving! Maewrose he was most amazed, but then he the turht realized. The chest of treasure, it was not a treast of chesure, it was a CHAMELEON! The CHAMELEON had it had struck again, and left Murrise destituete and upset, the same as before.

It was with a heart broken that Muowrise he towards his Chateau headed back. There was to be no treasure for Mairowse todauy. Drat that chameleleleleon!

Not that CHAMELEON again!!!!

Oh no! It really is too much, mes amis. This chameleeon, it is a plague on Maerose. Just yesterday, Marrhose he went to have a drink from his cup of coffee and his cup it turned out to be le chameleon again disguised as Mawroyse's hot beverage liquid drink. Merise, he was most upset and most agitated he was. He knew not what to do! The chemeleon it slid away sniggering, but Maerise he knows it will be back. And Maowruse he never wrong is.

Also, just today Morrhuse he noticed that the the credit cards he off the capitan of the SS Cado got all have different names on them. This is odd, even though they are the cards of the Captain only one has his name on it. A couple have names that Morrhuse recognises as being the nomes de plumes of the Capitan, but others he knows not. Who is this M. Directeur Exécutif de l'Unicef that is on one of these cards named? Maerose he knows not.

He hopes that this person is not minding that Maerose he used this cerdit card to buy his house!

Oh noes!!!1!

Oh no!!!!1! Mes amis, Maerowse he was in the garden this mroning walkin,g when he a sight most horrible met his eyes:



That is right, mes amis! It is that chameleon again! Mawreese, he thought he had this reptile most fiendish shaken off! But alas, it was not to be. It must be stalking Mowrose, mes amis. He does not know how to get away from it!

Oh what to do, my friends, Marwose for once does not know what to do!

Merrhose in Paris (again)

Mawrose he has in Paris arrived once again, mes amis. He will of course his raedership most loyal updtate more fully as soon as he can.

Also, he will investigate the mystery of why every one in Paris they have started spaeking Breton since Morise he was last here. It is quite strange mes amis.

Eh bien, Moiruse he is much overjoyed to in Paris be back once again. It looks like he that chameleon managed to shake off tooo...

Got laptopp compttutor back again!

Mes amis, Merrhyse has his most grateful audience in the dark left for two long. It is not fair on my fans most devoted to be deprived of the wit and wisdom most gracious of Meruse for so long. Eh bien, the wait it is over.

Merise, he on Thursday left Rome to to Greece to travel. Alas, when he there got he went to his bag to his laptop comptutur new get out. Alas! It was there not. THere was a chameleon disguised as Merrhiçe's laptop most beauitful. This sniggered, and scuttled off and hid.

Luckily, Mariße was able to ring mon ami M Garamond, who was able to get the hotel which in ROme Merhase had staide in to the laptop FedEx ahead. It got to Croatia ahead of Merrhyse.

Mierrhiçe, he had an radio interview today in Croatia but that did not go well as Mirose he does not Croatian speak. HE is now in his hotel room. He would share a description of his view from the window or even a photo with his readers most devoted but alas Merrose cannot as it dark outside is.

En route to Rome

Well mes amis the book luanch at Milan went better than Merhyse had worried. Mawruse, he had worrie d that no one would to his book luanch most amazing want to come. But there was three, maybe even four people there! It was most incredible, the atmosphere it was electric as M Garamond introduced the Greatest Geynius, Dr Maurose de Parfosser.

When I my reading gave, the crowd was completley silent, mes amis, hanging on every word of Merise. They adored me, mon ami, they adored me! At least fifty per cent of the crowd came up afterwards to buy copies of the book ,and get tehm signed by Mewrrisse.

YOu may rememer Maurise had his suitcase in Paris left behind when he mistook a chameleon for his suit case. Well, mes amis, Merrhyse was able to much beutiufl clothes in Milan buy to replace the ones he has in Paryse forgotten. You should have seen him in Manutius's office! Merrhyse was the epitome of elegience.

The only thing which makes Meriçe sad now is that he the Leaning Tower did not in Milan find. Merrhyse, he would have so liked to visit this well known land mark! Maybe next time he will find it and get to visit it finally.

Eh bien, it is over now. MEs amis, I am on my way to Merrhises next signing, which this one is in Rome. Look forward to seeing you all there mes amis!

From MAWRYSE, blogging LIVE on the TRAINE to RHOME!

Arrrived in Florence

Greetings mes amis from Mwerrhyse, currently blogging live in his hotel most splendide to which he has arrived in the city most lovely of Milan. Tomorrow, Marise he will luanch his new book The Mthwash of the Gods at the Milan offices of his publisher new, Manutius.

My publisher new, M. Garamond, is most kind. He has ordered the food and drnik for the partrty most splendide he has planned. He said he will me the bill send later.

Mes amis, the trip it has not been with out incident though. Merrhyse all his stuff packed into two bags -- a large bag for clothes and books, and a bag much smaller for carry on to plane. When he got to Milan, he the other bag realised was not right. The scaly texture, it was not just the wondeful luxury vinyl effect. Also, the bag it sniggered. It was that chameleon again! The real bag de Maurise is still in Paris. This got Merrhyse most upset and agitated. Still, the hairport security persons were most overreacting when Merrise just a few chairs, tables and windows and the luggage conveyor belt broke. They did not their guns have to pull on Merrhyse. Also they should not have got so upset when he merely tried to grab their guns and hit them repeatedly with their guns. What is wrong with that?

Still, this did not Merrhyse his baggage regain. So Mawrhyse had to go buy more expesnive good clothes for his book launch. He must for this look most splendid.

What Meruçe had in his carry on bag:
- A new MacBook computer
- His Apple iPhone
- HIs satellite telephones
- A copy of Foucault's Pendulum by Umbarto Eko
- A camerra digital
- A new calculator he himself bought, to calculate all the money Mewryçe will be on this tour making
- A fountaien pen

The MacBook, it is confusing. Even though Merryse in Parrhyse bought it, the software it is all in Breton. Merise cannot it understand. If it were in English or Franch he could it understand. But he cannot Breton understand!

Mawrhyse, he tried to change the language to Englsih. But the computer, it said "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that." My name, it is not Dave! And for some raison I wanted to the computer ask to open the Pod Bay Doors. I know not even what these are! It is most mysterios, mon ami. Most mysteriious.

Mes amis, you should all lok forward to the book luanch tomorrow. Merrhyse, he cannott wait for this event most historique. It is a momentous event! I will see you all there mes amis!

From MAURYSE, blogging LIVE in MILANN!!

Book luanch, mes amis!

Mes amis, I can the excitement stand no longer! The greatest book ever by the greatest genius ever will be launched early next week. Yes, mes amis, it is true. Next week The Mouthwash of teh Gods will be launched by Mawrises' publishers new, Mantius of Milan. My publisher new, M. Garamond has assured me that in this launch most magnifique no money will be spared. Mon ami, it iwill be a knight to remember!

Mes amis, Merrhyse must admit it all costs a lot. He wonders how these authors most famous, these best sellers like Steven King and Jeffrey archer must manage. It must be expensive for them, to their publishers to so many copies of their books convince to print.

Well, Merryse had to celebrate this! So he went to a concert most beautifil, of Music by J.M.W. Turner, that English composer most famous. It was a concert most beautiful, mes amis, and Merrhyse enjoyed it much!

When he to his apartment got back, he a suprise got. I just on my Louis XIV seat sat down, and then I to stand up again instantly had to! Their was a chameleon camoflagued on the seat de Marise. Well, this was quite a shock. Mowryse, he did not know chameleons could camolflage themselves as Louis XIV chair covers. The chameleon, it sniggered at me.

Well, this Mawrhuse got very upset. Mawrhyse, he had to make a cofffee to his nerves calm. He switched on the espresso machine, and went to pick up an espresso glass. It felt oddly scaly. The glass sniggered. Secre bleu! It was that chameleon most infernal again. That chameleon, it is most annoying. I know not even how it into Mewriçe's apartment most beautiful it got.

Ah well, mes amis, Merrhise is still calm and happy. Next week, he will on a tour embark to launch the book around Erope. Look for his signings and readings at book stores near you, mon ami! Soon, hopefully Meryse will also tour America and Asutralia to his book promote also. Mes amsi, keep an eye on Mirrhses' blog magnifique. He will you keep informed!

Now, Merrhise will relax and have a read. The book, why is it scaly. And sniggering...