The beautiful apratment New York de Mirose le genie!!!

Mon ami, Mjrise he is liking his apratment new in New York which he from his Rich Great Uncle Pedro he had inheritinated. Actually, thats just Mîråse's little joke, he from Aglie's secret society it got as they he (Mihrose) thought secret information about the Templars had. He did not, but so far he is fooling them, mes amis, so far!!!

Eh bien, this apratment most beautiful it in Greenwich Village is, and here a photograph of it is:

WOW! Is that not an apratment most magnifique>?

Well, also my freinds & fans most devoted, Mjurîse inundated has with emails from fans most adoring wondering why Mjorwse did not update his weblog sooner to them let know what he was doing at this secret meeting most secret. Well, mes amis, Mjorose thought about Blogging LIVE from the secret meeting, but he the other attendants thought this might notice, and they would not happy have been as it a meeting most secret was -- Miréese was instructed to tell NOBODY, but NOBODY about it. Then he to NY in a hurry had to drivinate. He updated you as quikly as he could, mes amis!!!

Dial a geynius Attempt 2!

Okay, mes amis, so the first attempt it did not work. Alas, Miruse could not remeber his mobile telephone numbers.

But not to wory, mes amis, he will give you his landline number.

Okay. The number of the telefone of his house here in the south of france is +33 4 -- err, Morrise canot the rest remmememeber.

Okay. The telefone number of his flat on Rue Mouffetarde it is +33 1 -- er again he cannot the rest of the number rember.

Okay. The telephone number of his house in Armidale in France it is +33 3, er.

Okay. New plan. The phone number of his house in Paris in Australia, it is +61 2 677 err. Hmm. Maerrose he can rember more of this number, but alas it is not enough!

Hmm. New plan, mes amis. Mowerussse he will try to withtth RATATATATOSKR get in touch. He will let you know.

Dial a genius!

Mawruse has decided to give out his iPhone mobile telefone number on his interweb page, so that you his raedership most devoted and most loyal, can with such a great geynius get to speak! An unprecedented opportunity for his raedership most devoted!

Mes amis, the phone number it is +33 6 -- er hang on, Morrhuse he cannot remember the phone number of his iPhone! THis is most distressing. Maybe Ratatsokr, he will know.

Actually, maybe you can all ring Mowrise his Australian mobil telefone. Mes amis it is +61 4 -- err, mes amis Moruse he cannot that remember either. Alas! Catastrophe!!

Muaerrise he will Ratatatoskr contact, and to you all get back.

Readers Questions

From: Chameleon [chameleon@snigger.com.mg]
To: Ratatoskr
Subject: iPhones

So you did end up going to Australia to "acquire" an iPhone for Maurice eh?

Snigger.

~Chameleon

Nope, Ratatoskr didn't. Said it wasn't gonna happen, it didn't can't and won't. End of story. Had a very important package to deliver for the All Father. One that the Hooded One, Grimnir, just couldnt trust anyone else with. Can't say any more. Nope, not even for acorns. He ain't called the Terrible One for nothing.

Still, Ratatoskr did preorder a 3G iPhone. But it's for himself, not Maurice. Just wait till Maurice finds out, eh? Oh boy, oh boy will that be fun. Stand back and watch the fireworks.

Yours squirrelishly,

Ratatoskr.

Raeders Wroight

Horray! Maerowse has an email!

From: Captain Jerrold von Obiwankanobe [jvobi@covert-ops.cia.gov]
To: Maurice de Perfossor [maurice.deperfossor@hotmail.fr]
CC: Ratatoskr.Squirrel@GMAIL.COM
Subject: Credit cards

MAURICE! I know you've got my credit cards and are using them! So that's where my bag went. I ask that you must stop using the ones that belong to me immeadiatly, or there will be further consequences. The others, I do not care about. They were just ones I had stolen in any case. Interpol might care though.

Yours,
Jerrold

Capt Jerrold von Obiwankanobe
Captain, S.S. Cado
Sink Fleet Fleet Ships Ltd
"We are definately not a CIA front company!"(tm)

http://www.sinkfleetltd.com/
http://sinkfleet.covert-ops.cia.gov/

Email: capt.j.vonobi@sscado.sinkfleetltd.com
Tel: +1 540 555 0153
Satellite mobile: +1 540 555 0139

Oh no! Maerowse knows not what to do! He had not thought that the Kapitan, he might object to A GENIUS such as MAEORUSE his credit cards using! ALso, Mawrise did not think that maybe some of these credit cards might be ones that the CAPITAN he had stolen.

Murrhose know not what to do. He is scared and confused. He also wonders what these 'CONSEQUENCES' of which the capitan speaks might be. Mawrise hopes it involves chocolate cake.

Ah well, just to cheer himself up mes amis he is buying himself another Rolls Royce on this credit card. He is sure that just one more should a problem not be.

Frenquenly unasked questions

F.unA.Q. no 3489312

From: "Níðhöggr" [nithhoggr@dragonclaw.yggsdrasil-online.org]
To: Ratatoskr.Squirrel
Subject: Paris

Has Maurice ever really visited Paris?

Good question for Ratatoskr. I'm perfect squirrel to answer this. Easy -- its as likely as I've ever visted Ásgard. That answers it for once and for all doesn't it?

Hey! whos that asking then how come Maurice knows so much about Paris if he's never been there? Easy. Never said he'd not been to Paris. Matter of fact, I've visited Ásgard. Why'd you think I hadn't. I am Ratatoskr, no ordinary squirrel.

Ásgard's a nice enough place, but the cafes are overrated and the gift shop is frankly just overpriced.

Oh yes, and Víðópnir says to say your flames are luke warm and you can't fly as well as him. After all you're at Yggsdrasils roots whilst he soars high above you at its very top. You want me to pass on another message back to him for you? Eagles, huh.

Your squirrelly squirrel,
Ratatoskr.

Rue Mouffetard

From: Jacques [jacques@mouffetard-1.fr]
To: Maurice de Perfossor
RE: Rue Mouffetard

Please tell us about your wonderful apartment on Rue Mouffetard?

Jacques

Well, my devoted readers, you have spoken and I, Morreyse, have listened! Eh bien, my appartment most beautiful is what you will hear about.

It is too, too long since I have been in my beautiful Rue Mouffetard apartment. Still, I miss the markets most beautiful, and the cofee shops where I would talk to my devoted audiences. Mowrrise would sit and talk to a devoted audience until they all suddenly had to go, and the coffee shop it became very empty. This often happened quite quickly, but Morese knows they did not want to go. They were enjoying listening to me speak.

And Moryçe's apartment was the epitome of understated French elegance! The simplicity yet beauty of it astounded people much!

Here, mes amis, is Morrhyse's bedroom:


Here is is simple but functional living room and study:


My favourite memory still is walking down Rue Moufffetard one winter's evening, with the lights most bright shining and the cold and the darkness all around Morrhyse, knowing that he his apartment most beautiful had to go back to. It is at such time that Parris is at its most beautiful, at night in the lights of the street.

Mowreyce misses it still!

Readers wright

From: JOke-419scammer@419-scammers-united.com
To: Maurice de Perfossor
RE: FROM JIM OKE

FROM J. OKE
THE HEAD OF FIRE DEPARTMENT, AFRICAN
NON-MONETARY ARTICULATE ALBATROSS BANK (ANMAAB)
COTONOU, BENIN REPUBLIC, WEST AFRICA
TELEPHONE: +1112 345 678 9123

STRICTLY PERSONAL

I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise as we have never met before. My name is Jim Oke. I am the bill and exchange manager in ANMAAB.
I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of our Bank (Mr Alfred Apple) who perished along with his next of kin with Korean Air Line.
Since the demise of this our customer, I personally have watched with keen interest to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no one has come to claim his funds of US$35M (Thirty five million United States Dollars) which has been with our branch for a very long time. On this note, I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the Next of Kin since nobody is coming for the fund again. The Banking ethics here do not allow such money to stay more than 10 years, because the money will be recalled to our Banks treasury as unclaimed fund after this period.
In view of this, I contacted a friend of mine who works with the Chamber of Commerce and Industries to assist me in getting a reliable and trusted partner who would submit an application as the next of kin or business partner to the late customer of the bank.


YES! Please count me in!

Wow. $35 million! Finally Mowrrhyse is rich! RICH AT LAST, I tell you!

Reader's Questions

Readers consult the oracle, the genius that is Mawryse! And he disappoints them not...

From: Gen. Ferdinand Troy Smith 
[f.t.smith@1stdivn-fcw53n.kaboom.mil]
To: Maurice de Perfossor
RE: Reader's Questions

Maurice,
Your tropical island would be just perfect for us. Could we possibly use it for military training? We promise you would only get slightly exploded or shot at. 

Ferdinand.

No.


From: Prof. Sir Hugh Whittlingfothersgaill-Lordlaudlum
[hwhitt@quantcomp.ox.ac.uk]
To: Maurice de Perfossor
RE: Advanced Thermo Quantum Computing problem

Hi Maurice,

Is there a way to get a quantum computer to compute all possible TV dinner combinations?

Hugh

Yes.

Raeder's Questions

Now, mes amis, you can ask questions of the greatest geynius to ever live, Morressse! Maurhyse will answer readers questions here on his blog, solving all of life's intractable porblems! Except how to get off desert islands, that is beyond him.

Just clicky clicky here: Email Maurice!