Canadda - Muarise is claered for takeoff!

MES AMIS ..... Mierise may have slightly crashinated his hairyplane in Flin Flon SK Canananadadada . It an easy mistake to maek was, one taht could ahve happened to any geynius who was flyinating in a Cessna CitationJet C4 from Paris France to Armidale Australie.

LUCKILY tahnks to Meeros'es geunius level skills as a pillot , it miore of an emergency laending was taht a full-on hairyplane crash with debris all over teh runway & flames & explosions & waht not,. There was only a few small fires in teh cockpit witch Muarose putted out with a fier-extinguisher. He also picked up teh debris from teh runway, as he thought he might need to sellytape it back on to teh hairyplane again.

It has taken Mo3rose over a week to figure out teh cause of this forced landing most mysterouius. He even rang CESNA, & tehy teh TEMERITY to suggestinate it a pillot error -- runing out of avgas perhaps due to an overloaded hairyplane -- was !! Teh nerve of it, wehn Moiruse is an internationaly renowned geynius!

NO, Merrise would NOT let teh matter stand liek tihs. He spent teh past fortnight workinating on his hairyplane, testing it for fualts, examinating every inch, replaecing any componenents he found to be fualty. He estimates taht he has replacinated EVERY COMPONENT IN TEH ENTIER HAIRYPLANE AT LEAST TWICE over teh past week or so. Except teh pilot's cup holder, he was 89.88812% certain taht it was not teh cuase of teh fault.

After WEEKS of tihs patient inwestigating, Merrise determined taht teh hairyplane had run out of fuel. Moeraes had loaded teh plane wiht things for his hosue in Australie, including a 20 ft high marbel statue of Merriçe, $120,000 worht of assorted CHIPINDALE fruniture he boughted at auction, a solid silvwer WINE COOLER, assorted medieval Manuscripts (MOSTLY TEMPLAR), a 16th centrury four=poster bed, five grandfahther clocks, a gazebo for teh garden (in peices, to assemble over tehre) and 8,399 bottels of whine.It turned out taht this was too mutch for teh hairyplane to go so far wiht, & it ran out of fuel. WHO KNEW TIHS COULD AHPPEN? WHY WANS:T MERRICE INFROMED>?????!2!@#???

EH BIEN, teh problem is now solvinated, & Moarise has loaded teh hairyplane back up & will to Australie continue  .... BUT .... tihs thyme .... wiht more frequent refooling stops!

Teh Templars of MALTA

MES AMIS>.... Maerose wery mutch in tihs wobleg post abuot his new Hosue in Greenwitch wanted to writinate... but taht will ahve to wait. It occurs to him taht he has n't abuot teh raid on teh Templar castel in Malta wroted, or abuot teh Heroic Flight TO Freedom in teh UK taht followe.d. SO taht post most magnifique abiot his new Hosue will ahve to WAIT a few days more.

EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on  Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.

Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).

Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight  altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY  it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET  abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was. 

We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!

Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:

• plans for Templar sekrit plans for teh next 500 years. Including how to fix the Olimpics so taht Greece wins 100% of teh gold medal,s destabilisng all world economies & leaving them abel to take control of the world.
• A secret history of teh world by a Well Known Rosicrucian named "Elmer the Disputably Puce".
• A map of teluric currants & how these can be used to lower your elecricity bills to low low low preices ( & also seize control of teh world -- theyre working on this one, but Muairse has so far managed to frustrate tehm in teihr efforst wiht this -- & Now he has more sekrit knowledge abuot tihs so he can tehm frustrate even More. And, also, lower his power bills.)
• A manuscript in acient greek  detailing teh links between teh templars, teh rosicrusians, & teh Ford Motor Company .
• A manuscropt in Etruscan abuot how teh Templars planned to control world financial systems wiht a plan taht would hatch in 1100 AD -- witch fortunately did not succeed!!!!!  

Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.

It wery bad was.

Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.

He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.

Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius  of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken  nongeynius aiport.

Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.

At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........

Mwerises SUMER HOLIDAYS....!!!!1!

MES AMIS... for teh past few days , Moaroçe has been decidinating where to go on his SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tahts right, SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tres exciting, Morese knows... He can hardly his excitement contain.

He was decidinating between teh following destinations:

• Corsica
• Malta

When he discused tihs wiht his asociate Ágliè, he saided taht Malta had much association with teh Templars, teh Rosicrucians & teh Knights of Malta & tehre many sekrit conspiracies there centred are. Wery interesting. Most interesting, mes amis....

SO, of cuorse, Meriese has on teh basis of this decided to go to MALTA. It much exciting is. Merowse canot wait.

SO, instead of waiting, he has decidedinated to leave NEXT WEEK. It will a wery early summer holiday be.

Merise plans to fly. Aglie insisted taht a CRUISE SHIP wuold be more luxurious but Maeröse agrees does not. He once went on a sea cruise  in Sidney. It not luxurious was. Teh seats were uncomfortable & teh ship smelled of Diesel.  Tihs "LUXURY CRUISE " (from Sidney to Manley) was not teh sort of luxury to witch Mowrise is acustomed.

ALSO, Merise has bad memories of his sea voyage on teh S.S.Cado, many years ago...

Merise has rembered taht he bought himslef a Piper CitationJet C4 some thyme ago. He tihnks taht he will flyinate to MALTA in tihs... taht's right, he will fly Air Mäwríòse. Marice tihnks taht "CAPTAIN MÉRRHISE" ahs a GOOD SOUND to it. Aglie ( who also wants to come ) is not wery happy about flying, but Merise is certain he will love Moerose's cute littel Jet Plane.

EH BIEN. Taht is all for now. Merise leaves next Wednesday. He will keep you infromed.

In wihch your hero (Murowse) admitinates taht he might slightly in Belgium be

Well mes amis, you might remember teh hairyplane crash most dramatique of yuor correspondent, Mirrhose le genie. You will probably also rember how teh crash, it was not particularly teh fault of Murose at all either.

Well, it turns out taht teh thick, inpenitrable forest in which he fuond himself lost was NOT, as he had initially thuoght, teh rainforests of Belize... it turns out taht he was maybe more corect in his ohter guess, taht he in Belgium was... in teh Plant Palace at teh National Botanic Garden of Belgium, hence thinking he in teh rainforest was. He merely in teh rainforest display in this greenhouse most magnifique was. Taht explains teh cafe taht he was abel to get supplies/sustainence from also.

Eh bien, teh improtant thing is taht he was rescued by teh Belgian police after merely a few days lost in teh wilds of teh Botanique gardens, and for this he is enormously grateful. he is currently now in a hotel in Brussels, waiting until he his hairyplane can get fixed so taht he wonce again can be on his way, to FLY HOME to Australie!!!1!! for Christmas!!1!!

In teh mean time, he is starting work on a new novel. He can pormice taht it will be magnifique!! He will keep you infromed as to his progress on writeinating it.

Mowrise his NEW hairyplane

Taht is correct, mes amis, Muriçe now owns anohter hairyplanne!!!! He only tihs week bought himslef a Cessna CitationJet CJ4. He just a few days a go a test flight of it had, and fuond it to be much magnificent and buought it tehre on teh spot.

Why, mes amis??!?! Well, it much simple is. Murrose will ahve to his home in Australie go back to soon. And he MUCH fed up wiht teh non-geynius airlignes is. Tehy are not up to teh standard of teh UNIQUE geynius of Murrose -- but tehn, NOBODY other tahn Merose is!!!

Having tihs raelised, Murrose saw taht the course of procedings, it obwious was!! He should himslef a jet plane buyinate, and fly himslef!!!! And tihs is exactly waht he did. SO, in January wehn he wonce again flys home to Australie... NO more Atterissage Forcé, he will be flyinating Air Mwrhyse!!!

Oh, also, Mwerise has to note taht he found his way OUT of teh catecombs of Saint-Emilion... ewentually. He tehn decidinated to go to his Chateau in teh South of France for some rest&relaxation, but somewhow ended up in Paris instaed... where he had intendinated to go teh Whole Time!!!

He cannot much more abuot Saint-Èmilion write, as he much templar sekrits discoverinated, and he will have to work on tehm desyphering before he can publish tehm here.... but rest assurinated, you WILL find out more.

Taht is how Meriçe fuond himself in Parhys, and how he ended up having a test flight most magnificent of a hairyplane most magnificent.... and tahts how he will himslef in Australie early next year findinate!!!1!

Lift off

Merrhyse, he continued to work all night on fixinating the hairyplanes. Mawrise, he now has a (more or less) fully functional Piper Cherokee Warrior propellor aeroplane. Mawryse is much happy with this plane. He used components from the Cessnas too, but the finished plane it is mostly like this plane.

I am just about to get into the plane, and take off. Mowryse, he will waste no time in flying home. No, mes amis, you will soon find him once more in Paris. Since I have my laptop computer and a satellite telephone, Merrhyse will continue to blog from the air as he flies home.

Now to fly away home. Wish Mirrhose luck!

Freedom for your weblogger most intrepide!

Horray, Meryse is found a way to get off this island most infernal. Rejoise, mes amis, Marrhise will soon be strolling the boulevards of Paris once more!

Mes amis, Merrhose was walking alone on the island one day when he found something most extraordinary. He found a large sailing ship, beached on the beach and completely abandoned. It was clearly a boat most beautiful, and she was sea worthy. It was such a windy day that Merrhyse, he used it for fire wood to keep warm.

Also, after more searching he had found an abandoned runway, with several rusting decrepit Cessna and Piper aeroplanes lying around. Sacre bleu! A miracel for Miryse! The only thing Mauryse lacked was aviation fuel. But a geniyus like Merise can come up with a solution for any problem (or was it a problem for any solution, I cannot remember, mon ami. No matter, I think it is more or less the same).

Merrhyse had coconuts as a source of hydrocarbons, and for Mawryse it was a simple matter to find a process to turn coconnut milk into aviation fuel. Mes amis, he simply [CENSORED BY INTERNATIONAL PETROLEUM CARTELS. WE DON'T WANT ANYONE GETTING ANY SILLY IDEAS, PLEASE]. What a triumph for Marhise! He finally had aviation fuel!

Well, mon ami, I have the past few days been working on the planes, to see if Merrhyse can get one in good enough state to fly me off this island. Also, Merrhyse has to learn to fly. Wish him luck!