BUENOS AIRES

MON AMIGOS ……………. Muerise is still alive & Well evwvne though he a shrort Break from blogginating took. He did wonder if he should post a picture wiht a current newspraprer to prowinate that he stil alivwe is but tehn he forgot & didn":t,. Eh bien……

ANYWAY TAHT NOT TEH POINT IS. Teh point is taht Meriiise is now in Buenos Aires -- or as he, internet GEYNIUS, calls it, #BuenosAires. He was in Armidale NSW Australie where he a wery inowative wine estate owniniates but he had a minor disagreeement wiht teh manerger tehre, whitch led to a minor argument, & Meeiwrise stormed off. Muerise managed to keep his cool & didntt shuot or throw stuff abuot two mutch, & teh porperty damage is praps ltd to US$54,000 withc is hardly anything. Merrrriçes brilliant idea was to harwest ALL teh grapes on teh same day & fermentinate tehm all in teh same vat, tehn extract tehm out & bottel tehm all seprately aftrewards,. SIMPLES. GEYNIUS. Yet teh (Stupid NONGEYNIUS) manger liekd it NOT! In teh end morose consieded this agrument& flew to #BuenosAires insted. 

Now Mearíse cuold have done teh expectinated tihng& flown to his estate in Argentina & tried out taht plan here ……. but he did NOT , as he a geynius is & isnt to be bothering himslef with doing expectable, sensibible tihngs. NO, he flew his newly apointed A-380-CUSTOM (wiht onbored bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchens, bangq1uette halls, whine cellars, & evwen a garage so he a car can iwhtht him takeinate) DIWECTLY  tO #BueonsAires (leveing Armidale Mar-9-2018 & ariwinating in #buenosaires 29th-March-2018,a short direwct 20 day flight via Iceland, China, & NewZeeland) & has spent teh past few weeks writinating & inwestigating fiendish sekrit templar plots taht are currantly two sekrit two post abuot here..... FOR NOW. BUT WATCH TIHS SPACE MON AMIGO.  Yes tahts rite, Mesrihse in fact means this spesfic space rite here --->   <---- wathc it vigilently without sleeping/blinking./etc for teh next few weeks, .

ANYWAY TAHT NOT TEH POINT IS., The point is (1) MErise is a grate geynius; (2) Miaeerise is curwrently in Buenos Aires , (3) Moarihse is curwently inwestigatinating sekrit Templar conspireacies ;., (5) Mwrise is a geynius, (344.4) He has a new hairyplane ; (7) he forgotted waht item seven was going to be, (6.3111132) & taht not teh point is ; *(9)  ?????l; (10.2) More blog posts soon, including a rewelation abuot teh sekrit TEMPLAR plots.

Also Merrrise is NOT lieking Migrosoft EDGE so-called wobbrowser, particularly teh way it keeps attemptinating to CORRECT Mwerìses GEYNIUS spelling .,e.g., substitutinating "THE" (obwiously worng!) for Mòróses OBWIOUSLY CORECT 'TEH',.

diner wiht teh Templars!

MES AMIGOS.... Muaröise ahs news to reportinate!!1!?!@#! Adn what news it is mes amigos ... Muarise had teh Templars of Argentina™ around for dinner Twice this month (May) & it magnifique was for two (2) raisons:

1. Teh Templars came back teh second thyme completely voluntarily, no compulsion or anything(!!#?!)
2. Teh second diner Mj¤wriøse he created was teh bestest banquet taht Maeruise has ever put on, ever : truely he surpassed himslef! Evwen Morijse (who is wery, wery modest & self-effacing) ahd to admittinate taht it a TRIOMPHE of teh culinary arts was.

OH TAHT SECOND BANQUET. Muiríse wishes taht all his loyal wobleg-raeders could ahve been there wiht him & enjoyininating teh feast mangnifique *& basqueing in Mñerüse his reflected glory. Because quite a banquet it was! Merese whishes he could explain it properly but he lacks teh thyme & teh wocabularly so he will content himslef to say:

• Teh banquet lasted forty-eight (48) huors! (2 days)
• Tehre were seventy (70) courses, icludinginating truffled pigeon, wild boar, duck & goose, venison wiht juniper berries & dark chocolate sauce, grouse, oysters, lobsters, & chicken schnitzel. 
• Murise served teh bestest wines he cuold including '47 Cheval blanc (of cuorse! Muerise still ahs two cases of tihs left) ; '45 DRC Romanèe-Conti (Meurises favrite; he has six cases left incl. three magnums); '37 Ch. d'Yquem (WOW Magnifique!) ; & of cuorse a bottel of taht old favrite standby '69 DRC Montrachet. Miró¤se can tell you taht teh Templars were Suitably Impressed. & rightly so. it impressive was.

Anyway , whilst it a MAGNIFIQUE SUCESS for Mérjhuïse, teh GRATEST GEYNIUS to EVER LIVE, EVER, (& yet so modest),  taht not teh point is. Eh bien, teh point is taht the Templars in Argentina much to Muerses surprise are actually Quite Nice People for members of an Ancient, Evil Sekret Society Dedicated To World Domination. (Not a good tihng mes amis: it wuold be teribible if teh Templars seized control of teh world; far better if Mowrise were in charge!(). Teh Templar Grand Master was wery freindly & got on with Merise wery well. Muariçe ahs inwited him to wisit Moieurise his country estancia & teh Templar Grand Master in return inwitefd Mwrwse around foor dinner. He pormised to leave lots of good Clues around Buenos Aires so Miwriwce can inwestigate tehm sucessfully wich is nice.

As Murise saided on Twitter Mycroft, teh non-genuis brother of M²er€se will be wisiting Argentina soon & Mowri³se is planninating an exciting wisit for him including a trip to Mero;ses estancia. Prehaps Mycroft can help Muriese inwestigatinate/fight/thwart teh Templars!!#$!!1! & tehn we can all ahve dinner togehther at a Chic Littel Restorant taht Muiuirse knows!!@3!!?@!!1!*#*&(@! It magnifique will be.

From Aregenetina

MON AMIGOS .... Mèrèhse is in Argentina in his Apratment in Buenos-Aires & he doing mutch sekret Templar inwestigations is ........ tihs is why he hasn"t been able to blogginate, honest mes amigos, not bcecuase he has teh entire thyme been drinking & eating & enjoyinating himslef!!1!! Well, he has that been doing, but he does not let it detract from or to get in teh way of his GRATE WORK.

Eh bien, finally Mqwrose can start to tell you about his work here!!1!!>@!?! The second day he was here, he was at his favuorite restraunt waiting for dinner -- he was just ahving a nice littel " aperitif " , just starting on to his third (3rd) bottel of '52 Krug wehn he saw teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTRER   try to sneek past un-noticed. Past Miúrise! who infimously misses NOTHING (taht thyme he mised noticign a brass band, an elephant, six tanks, and a parade float shaeped liek a hotdog go past is IRELeVANT as it was obwiously a set-Up & Merííse was caughted unawars & it was completely unfare!), NOTHIHING MES AMIS.

SO Mŵrŵuse did teh templar notice , && he didnt waste any thyme in persuing tihs, oh no mes amigos .... he cut his meal down to a mere 5 courses (wiht a bottel of wine matching eatch course), followed by a cheese platter (wiht anohter bottle of whine), tehn coffee & sweets, tehn brandy & cigars. Mwuryse was in sutch a rush he didn"t ahve time to settel teh bill but he is shure taht teh manager will be understanding when MrRrse goes back & may even Offer M8r¶urse a dis-count!!!!!!!!!!1?!?!@34!!

Luckily teh Templar Grand Master was waiting around teh Corner from teh Restorant, & Moiirrise was abel to Pick Up Teh Trail,. Mjerise wobbled along after teh Templar (may be he shuoldnt ahve had nine bottels of whine + a bottel of Armagnac, but a GEYNIUS cannot DEPRIVE himslef!!/1!) and luckily up was able to Keep. Evwen wehn teh Templar ducked into a doorway and ran along a series of sekret (probly booby-traiped) tunnels Morpse kept Rite Behind Him.

IN TIHS WAY Muhrise was leded to a sekret metting room where a SEKRIT INER CABAL of TEMPLARS discussinated how to infiltrate teh Metwurst industry in New Suoth Wales (withc includes Merises home town!!!2.@!?!!), and a plan to replace teh U.S.A. PRESIDANT wiht an incompetent imposter! Tehse are plans withc Meer;ise will be fFrustrating tehm in (& NO mon amis he does NOT need teh help of his EX-associate & So-Called " Freind " Agli`e@@!! Tihs is a porblem that Moríise can & will sort out himslef!!?@###!)

OBWUOUSLY since tehn Merise has infiltratinated many sutch meetings & learnt of many diabiolical plans ....... he vaguely rembers he had to inwestigate in a bunch of other cities too but now cant rember & honestly aftrer teh second bottel of Armagnac he realises it porbably isn"t improtant.

EH BIEN taht is all for now. More soon as Merewse (& Muerise ALONE) will inwestigatinate &* here you keep infromed.

Muarjise in Australie (again!)

MES AMIGOS ....

Müroße must apologisinate for not postininating anything  to tihs wobleg ... or via farceberk ... or via twytter ... or via skywriting .... for AT LÆST A MONTH!!1!?!$%@#!!!! . He KILLER JET LAG had aftrer teh wery length 12-day-fligth from Paris France to Armidale Australie via Brasil;. It an EPIC WOYAGE was.

EH BIEN. But he is here now & he ovwer his KELLER JET LAG is, so it all good is. He was going to postinate abuot what he up to in Australie has been -- he has been writing some acadæmonic pæpers , & tending to his wineyard , & redocorating teh hosue has been -- & tihs is ALL WERY INTERWESTING (as anything inwolwing Mjrjse is becuase its about Méréesse) sometihng mutch more interesting has come up.

An article has surfaced in teh non-esoteric mainstræm mædia abuot a secret hidden series of Caves made by teh Templars ... Muruses secret adwerseries. Teh artikel describes tehm as being in Shropshire, UK, but Morose isnt niave enough to beleave everytihng he raeds, especially where Templar Conspiracies are inwolwved. NONETEHELESS ... teh article is scattered with Cryptic Clues about teh Crypt ( ... heh ... Cryptic Crypt ... ! ... Heh ) for those who ahve teh Wisdom to See  it. It is obwious to Meorwse taht the Cryptic Crypt is in Lisbon, Arles, Seville, Dolgellau, or Buenos Aires. Mir1se will of cuorse ahve to travel to all of tehse plaices over teh next few months to inwestigate ........... cue EPIC KILLER JET LAG ......................... oh noes .... still it is a sacrifice taht M3r3se is preparinated to make.

Muarise has been doing some important maintainaince on his hairyplane but once taht's finished, he will hed to Lisbon f1rst. Tehn Buenos Aires. Tehn Seville. Tehn Dolgellau. Tehn Arles. But 1st he must finish his coffee & croissants.

Bon novelle-year!

Well, mes amis, its wahtever teh new year is (Merise is confuwesed due to thymetravel) & Moóriße has finally managed to stabilise his thymemachine & is now back to being in one time &* place witch is surprisingly relaxing comprared with being trapped in the interstitial time vortex (which he was since Janruary 2016!). Many tihngs have changed since Mwrwce posted here last & he will here updatinate you ! :

• M¼er³se has changed his email address from HotMaile to GeeMail.! New emale address is: muarice.deprefossor ___AT____ GMaile.con. Email him there soon!
• M8r8se has lost his job at teh L'Université du Délire Iguane, as he didnt' manage to get there at all during 2016. Stupid nongeynius uniwersities, as if turning up to some stupid nongeynius office & teaching stupid nongenius students could ever be a requihrment for a GEYNIUS to keep hold of his job. !!!!!?!?1!!!
• CONSEQUENTLY Mèrèésé will now be working Full Thyme at Manutius press as an ediotr. Luckily he can work from his many hosues for tihs. No Need to move to Milan & to work in some nongeynius office wiht nongeynius so-called colleagues! 
• Moarice's nongeynius brohter Mycroft has moved permanently to Bordeaux & has taken over Morwses chateau tehre, wich he is now calling Chatêau [CLASSIFIED] (becuase he in inteligence used to work --  hence teh stupid nongeynius nonfunny so-called "joke"!). Mùerise heres taht he is making a wery nice Pauillac whine there.
• Maerhise is now trying to awoid Aglie as he finds him wery iritating.
• Murice wuold like to find sometihng else other than teh Templars to re-search,. Its" fun & all re-searching tehm & MErise this does not want to stop, BUT also he doesn'ot want to a monomaniac become.
• &
•  

Eh, that is all for now mes amigos.................

THYME MACHINE YET AGIAN

MES AMIS ... Mèrise has been trawelling back & ford in thyme mutch this month (if teh concept 'this month' aplies given how mutch thymetravel Morwise is doign). It mutch hard work is but he is picking up mutch useful infromation about teh Templars & thwarting their evwil plans throughout history .... and the future! Muoarise has constantly been back to 1278 to talkinate wiht Robert de Craon & playinate chess (EVWEN IF NOBODY OT+THER TAHN MWRICE CAN CHESS PLAYINATE PREOPERLY! aagh it mutch frustratinating is.). Moariçe is posisng as well-known Crusaeder-Night Sir Meirise, a Knight from Upper-Saxonburgy, or something. ANyway teh improtant tihng is taht teh templars are fooleded.

Mérse ahs a dinner wiht Aglèy planned for next TUesday & he & Aglie will discuss Meroíse's infromation (Don"t wory - Mearise will hidinate teh Thyme machine under a cloht in teh Cellar, where Aglye will never it find!!!!1!@#!@!).

MEANWILE moaeirse plans to use teh Thymemachine for someithing other tahn templar-thwarting because its been wery hard * & * thyring work & MErose needs a brake!!!!

EH BIEN .... he will be back.

THYME MACHINE AGIAN

MES AMIS .... Mŵriśe is just back from more extendinated thymetravel ... but more abuot that soon. Wehn he left (FRIDAY JUNE 18TH) he had just been to see his asociate Agléy and to him tell him some of the infromation Moaróse had about teh templars founded out from his thymetraweling. Unfrotunately he figurinated out taht Merise must a thymemachine have ,.... and evwen managed to guess wehre Merwçe would it hide , despite how cuning M7erisecs hiding spot was ( teh garage - who:d guess taht a car wuold be kept in teh garage?!?!?!?!1!).

ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).

ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a  ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).

ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)

MÓRISE PLAYINATES CHESS WIHT TEMPLER GRAND MESTER BERT DE CRAYON
IPHONE PHOTO TAEKEN WIHT MEARISES IPHONE 11SG++++++

Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable!  And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??

ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?

Thyme Machine

MES AMIS .... Mioarise has gotted his thymemachine workinating! It mutch exciting is. It took mutch more thyme than he origininally thoughted it would do (but whats time when you ahve a thyme machine?!?!?) but taht's life. Or not,. ANYWAYS taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Meorise now wonce again has a fully functional thymemachine and he wiht it is mutch pleased.

Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.

Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.

First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis,  Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.

SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.

Maeurise in swiuTZerland

MES AMIS .... Moerise is holidayink in SUNNY SWITSERLAND, ahving driven here from Paris:

It a plaesent short 80 hour drive was & Maerise particularly enjotyed teh stopover in Seville.ANyway, taht not teh piont is. Teh point is taht Maérise is here in Switzreland on haeligday in teh plasent Swiss whine town of LA RIOJA, capitel of taht well known Swiss wine region ... which is named after teh town ... and is wery famous  ... called le VALAIS. Merise is drinking mutch of teh local wine "HUMAGNE ROUGE: (wich is called RIOJA CRIANZA here for some raison) ,, and it mutch giood is .

Merise ahd is birthday party here a few weeks ago (on the 3rd Avril -- just a few days after his Actual birthday!) and it mutch good was as both Agli`e and Mycroft were good enough to attendinate and we mutch werry good whine had including several bottles of teh "GRAN RISERVA" valais wine ,, as well as '82 Mouton Rotshchild (one of Mycroft"s favourites) & '78 ROmanee- CONTI (Mŵreis';s favorite)./

ANYWAY teh point is taht Meoerise is enjoyinating a holyday in a compeltely templar-free place for a bit. NEXT WEEK he gets back to inwestigating templars ... he inwestigated tehm all March till his magnifying glass, flashluight torch & pennywhistle were nearly worn out. But now he is kickinggg back and enjyoingating teh rolling hills of Switzrelanmd. This mroning Merise decided just to sit in his rented haeligday apratment and read teh paper & drink whine. TO morrow he might go for a stroll to a local whinery. and maybe wisit a caf'e for coffeee & lots of cake. And it mutch good is.

Màerise has much exicting to revel from his last month"s inwestigations .... he just needes thyme to write it all up in his ancient gothic letherbound vellum journal ... then transcribe it all to his MacBook PRO. MORE SOON.

MWERISE'S BACK!

At last mes amis .... teh knews you"vwe all beeing waiting for!?@!1!!@#$! . Tahts right, mes amigos, Muirise is BACK. He is BACK in PARRIHS, & he is BACK to WOBLEGGING>. He has ahd an ewentful past few ten monthes (ahs it raelly been taht long? WHY YES IT ALLEGEDLY HAS BEEN!@1!((. From late Avril to Juin last yaer he was in Des Moines, USA looking into taht secret & sinistrer soceity, teh Intedrependent Order of Odfellows. He has a excitinating expos´e he will writenate werry soon mes amis, prehhaps it will his enxt book be. YES IT IS TAHT BIG.

Tehn in Juley, he to Armidale NSW Australie returned and started writing tihs expose (and wobleg post taht he nevwer publishinatated). Unfrotunately befroer he could it publish he was kidnapped by teh Knights of Teh Aprocolypse (tihs was a new one for Mearise!) and flowninated to an undisclosed Locatoin in Liechtenstein (though it woudln"t be werry hard to find agian as its a small country & tehre aren;t taht many locateions tehre to choose from).

Unfrotunately before he could figure out who tehy were or waht tehy wanted him for, he was rekidnapinated by teh Rosicrucians, who arrived in a convwoy of black cars, and who started to drivinate him towards Slowvenia.

Unfrotunately on teh way there he was intrecepted & rekidnappinated by teh Bawarian Illuminati, who arriwinated ina  conwoy of BLACK HELLYFLOPTERS. Tehy started to fly towards Poland but wehn tehy stopped to refuelinate Merise was rekidnapped by teh Priory o f Sion. 

Muarrise sort of strarted to lose track at tihs point but ewentually his old old freinds teh Knights Templar stepped in & abducted him from some deranged secret soceity somewhere in Lithuania. It was shure a releif to be amongst freidns again!!1?@!U*$@!!! Tehy took him to a wery nice castel tehy happened to ahve in teh Czech Republic & Mearise spent a plaesent few weeks tehre recowering from his inadwertant adwentures ^*& reminising wiht his old frenemies teh Templars. After a bit tehy kindly gave him a lift back to his chic appratment in Parrys which is wehre he is now.

EH BIEN> even tihninkign about it is exhausting.  ANYWAY it is good to be home is. To morrow evening his bon ami Aglié will for dinner be coming, and his brohter Mycroft will be drivinating up from Bordeaux to stayinate wiht Merrise for a few days and will also be tehre for teh dinner . It mutch good will be. NOW if you"ll excusinate Muaerrise he must go to le marché & buyinate some food as he doesn"t ahve anything good in teh Hosue. He will post again SOON>

HIAPPY NEW YAER.>

MES AMIS. Muerise is wery excited becuase it"s a new year - it"s 6th Januauary so teh first week of teh year isn"t even over! Moerise is excitinated taht it"s finally 20165. TAHTS RITE: a new yaer (204) , a new strat.

Morose can himslef hardly containate. Waht will teh year -2014 bring?? Waht new excitement?? TEMPLARS? Most porbably/ ROSICRUCIANS? Almost certianly. BAWARIAN ILUMINATI? Tehy do seem to keep turning up ewverywehere, so yes most leikly.

Muaruise gotted a tellyphone call from Agley teh other day. He wasn"t keen to talk to Agley though he ansered it on the 33rd time taht Aglie called ,. Uglie was as nonchalant as ever but had some exciting news about teh Templars taht.... but taht"S SEKRIT so Moeruçe cant"t tell you yet.

ALSO MUEERISE FOUND A WHINE NAMED AFTER HIM:

TEH WINE CALLED MERRISE TAHTS NAMED AFTER MIEROSE.

Morrise was wery excited & of cuorse boughted 50,000,000 bottels of teh 2011 wintage (PICTURED). It's from an appellattion called "PICPOUL DE PINET" wihch is in teh LANGUEDOC (short for Languedoctor??) reigion of Frnance,. & Moereçe it likes wery much beucuase tehy were so flateruing as to name it after him.,.

Eh bien.

Meuerise has some NEW YAER"S REVOLUTOINS  & wants to shareinate tehm wiht you all, his dewoted raeders:

• Eh bien. (CLEARS THROAGHT)./
• 1. Uncover & thwart feindish TEMPLAR plots
• 2. Write an-other nowvel.
• 3. Write a Booke about teh TEMPLAR infleunce on the race-car industrey
• 4. Bake a caek.
• 5. Wisit Meroses' non geynius brother (MYCROFT)., Try not to look downe on him too mutch -- its not his fault he isn";t as grate a geynius as Merrise . Tahts not a fair standrad. NOBODY is as grate a geynius as Merruse other tahn Mierroçee!!!!!?@1!!!!
• 6. UH, tahts all Muarise can of tihnk rite now.
• 7. Er,, how do you stop doing teh bullet pointy tihngs?
• 8. AH YES JUST CLICK TIHS BUTTON
• 9.

Tahts better.

Eh bien, wehre were we?

OH YES ... hoppy new yaer!!??!??!!

Muarises' capture by teh FEINDISH rosicriciuans

MES AMIS ..... teh past few months ahve been WERY adwenturous for Mjerise. In Septembre, he wisited Nürëmböürg & tehre found mutch sekrit Templar evidence, especially in teh ccatecombes hidden under teh city. ALAS he actually got lost & it took him many daeys to find his way= out but Moarise is a geynius & so fir him nothing is implossible so ewentually he it managed . (by following teh GREEN EXIT SIGNS whod ahve guessed tehy led to teh exit? A foolish miscualculation by teh templars!) .

Unfrotunately on his whey back to PARRHIS he was accosted by a group of thugs in chainmail he know nows were teh ROSICRUSCIANS! Clearly tehy were unaware of Muares's arangement wiht the Templars, & were aiming to Stop Him From Doing His Waluable Work!

Muarrise was bundled into teh back of a large black Mercedes=Benz S65 AMG (Muerise is pleased taht his abductors ahd such an impressive car --- he will ahve to get one himslef now!!?!2!??). After a few houres driving (wiht Merise bundled into teh back wiht a sack over his head === NOT FITING TRAETMENT FOR A GEYNIUS ==== he tried to complain & said taht he would promise to forget where tehy were but he was ignorinated) .

Ewentually we arrived at a partly ruined castel somewhere in teh countryisde. Merise was roughly shoved into his cell. LUCKILY tehy forgot to remove Mierrise""s possesisons so he still had his phone, laptop, & all teh TEMPLAr manuscripts he seized. After a few days fiddling , he managed to get teh camerera on his cellular phone IPHONE phone to work & snap tihs photo:

MUERISES CELL

A PHOTO

BY MORRROSE

EH BIEN. IT quite rough & uncomfortable is , & not fiting of a geynius. Luckily Merrose found a matresses & blankets hidden away ...also a desk & chair ... so he work on his GRANDE work was abel to do,.

After a few weeks of tihs DEPREVWATUION (only four meals a day .... mostly game, wiht perfectly aged 1st growth Bordeaux, and a tasteful selection of cheeses & a glass of armagnac to follow ... and a banquet evwery other week) Mueerrise could bear it no more & so escaped in late nowember. He tehn boughted himslef an impressive OLD VW BEETEL whitch had had a VW PORSCHE ENGINE into it put for taht bit of unexpected acceleration if he had to from teh ROSICRUCISNANS ONCE MORE ESCAPINATE. But luckily his trip back to PARRIS  from Königsbrunn (where in captivity was) was unewentful, and only took about a month.

MERRISE IS A GEYNIUS NAWIGATIOR SO YOU SHOULD ALL

TAKE NOTE OF HIS ROUTE FROM KONNÏGSBRUN TO PARRRESE

AND COPY ITS AMAZING NAWIGATIONAL ABILITYS

IT CLEARLY TEH SHORTREST MOST EFFISHENT ROUTE IS>

When Merrise arrived in Parrrise teh many cityzens had been mising him for too long & teh excitement for his return had reached fever pitcgh!!! Tehre ment to be a GRAND WELCOMING HOME PRECESSION was but unfrotunately it had to be cancelled at teh last minute due to ....... sunspots ..... yes, tahts right ..... due to sunspot actiwity. (sounds conwincing>????). so Muarrroçe snuck in INCOGNITO.

BUT AT LEAST HE"S BACK IN PARRIS

Nürëmbërg

MES AMIS Murhuse is in Nürëmbërg at an un-disclosed location (Bergstraße 5, 90403 Nürnberg, Deutschland) to inwestigatinate teh Templars & Rosicrucians tehre. TAHT"S RIGHT MES AMIS .... tehre's templars in Nürëmbërg. Nürëmbërg is teh last place taht Moariçe would ahve expected templars or sekrit societies but Àglei sed taht tehy were here, and ... eh bien ... it was so.(NONETHELESS MORROSE IS STILL THE GRATER GEYNIUS).

Muarrose has been in Nürëmbërg since he left Quebec for Berlin (28/th./AUGUST), & teh drove to Nürëmbërg (unbelievably teh B.M.W.Corporation didn"t recognised teh grate geynius of Muarrose & wouldnt give him a free B.M.W.autocar! He had to break into teh factory at midnigght to get a free B.M.W.autocar, even though its his due as a grate geynius!!1!!?!????1???@)

Eh bien. Maeryse has founded out taht Nürëmbërg it has many sekrit underground tunnels * & he has tehm been inwestigatinating ... throught teh many sekrit passageways , & cellars & sekrit Templar & Rosicrucian complexes under teh ground. Teh TEMPLARS even ahve a sekrit canteen in teihr sekrit undergound base .... complete wiht dinner ladies & trays & a buffet salad bar. Mwerrose ahs had lunch tehre many thymes. Teh bratwurst is quite good.

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Mearose has once again spent thyme hiding in sekrit Templar bored-rooms whilst sekrit Templar meeting s take places & has evwen recorded tehm (one of teh Templar conspirators helpfully showed Muorrose how to record a wideo on his IPHONE 5S). He has spent hours rummaging throught teh libraries & looking behind teh sofa in teh staffroom (tihs is wehre you find all teh good stuff mes amis ....... not just anceint sekrit documents BUT ALSO several humbugs, a hankercheif, and €11,50 in small change!!!!!!1!).

Moarise is mutch excitinated wiht teh work he is doingk here .... but he is only staying here another few days. Teh week aftrer next he must go to Frnance to meet up wiht Agléy. He will post more infromation HERE> so dont froget to KEEP RAEADING MES AMIS>.

Templars in New York City, New Yorke State *(USA).

Mes amis .... Merise is back & inwestigatinating Templar conspiracies! He"d hate to disapoint tehm after all, tehy were so keen for him to resume. In fact, tehy have been leaving helpful incrimiating clues all over teh place recently just to ensure taht Maorise doesn"t miss anything & doesn"t bored get. HOW CONSIDERATE.

Anyway, evwen though his associate & fellow inwestigator Agley is currently on holiday in Antigua, Mearowse carries on wiht his inwestigations. Recently his inwestigations lead him from Buenose Aires to Snan Fran Cisco to New Yoerk city. Tahts right mes amis -- teh New York City in teh Untied SStats of Amrica! (Not teh one in Belgium).

Merwçe managed to find out taht teh Templars ahve a sekrit hideaway rite under teh city, rite under Grand Central Station in fact! Muorose found teh Entrance to tehse Dread Caverns & teihr inner dark sekrits explorinated!!!!

Muerise OF COARSE had his iPHONE & teh batery wasnt dead & he has recently figured out how to use teh camera on this marwellous dewice (ITS FIENDISGHLY DIFFICULT BUT LUCKILY MEROISE IS A GEYNIUS SO HE IT WORKED OUT EWENTUALLY).

Meurise stumbles across a procession of Templars 

& manages to take an iPHONE pic before hiding 

An antichamber in teh catecombes. 

Muerwose of course has much more photos than just these but of cuorse he cant them all share here. He also managed to stumble across teihr sekrit Templar library (fiendishly hidden behind a sign saying "LIBRARY") which Mueriose managed to find even though it wery sekrit & hidden is by following teh signs marked "LIBRARY TIHS WAY".

Meurise quickly raced trhough teh library before he was detected & managed to find some wery waluable & sekrit Templar volumes which explain teihr organisation & its evil plans in much detail,. Meurise tried to smuggle tehm out of teh library but a librarian told him off & made him get a library card & take them out "liek a normal library user"(!!?!!@1!!)/ Muaerise was of course much nervous as he was worried taht teh Templars would race in & find Moaerrioce but luckily teh didnt.

Ladden down wiht such rare Manuscripts, Mearuise tehn made his way towards teh Grand Central Hall & found a crack in teh wall through witch he was abel to observinate most of a sekrit Templar ceremony before he had to leave becuaese Moerise his stoumach was starting to Grumble & also he a reserwation at teh {"PER SE": restorant .

Merise at this restorant enjoyinated a magnifique 8 course meal wiht many bottels of whine &* tehn he decided he should write an account of his adwenture so he brushed all teh leftover plates & glasses & cuttelry & candlesticks onto teh ground, whipped out his MACBOOK & started typinating.

OH NOES TEH MAIRTRE D'HOTEL IS SHOUTING AT MERISE & WORNGLY CLAIMING HE SHOULDNT HAVE BRUSHED EVERYTIHNG OFF ONTO TEH FLOOR. Stupid nongeynius Maitre-'d-hotel. Moarise is a geynius & thus can do wahtever he wants.

Eh bien. Moerise knew he was sitting on sutch explosively exciting Material taht he should leave new york city before he it published. SO, pursued by teh Maitre'd'hotel, teh chef, teh sommelier and several waiters, Merrise made rapidly for the door & headed to his hotel, not even stopping to pay teh bill. He then proceeded to a car daelership & boughted a DODGE CHALENGER with (6.4 L) V8 engine & 6 speed manuel gearbox -- FAST ENOUGH TO OUTPACE EVWEN TEH MOST DETERMINED TEMPLAR. Luckily Merise managed to awoid paying for tihs too,.

Teh he drovinated to Quêbec City, Canada, not dropping in speed below 120 mph teh whole way. Witch currently is presently where he now is right now at teh moment./

Teh fine whines of BODEGA DE MUARISE

Mes amis ... Muarise has been planninating a wobleg post for teh past few weeks but alas he has been wery BUSY. Unfrotunately teh TEMPLAR CONSPIRACY INWESTIGATION has kept him wery busy, though inwestigating it is much exciting. And teh Templars are now kindly more thoughtful about leaving lots of interwesting & incriminating clues for Muorise to find, witch is thoughtful of tehm. Mjerise is currently in San Fran Cisco, chasing down some leeds here. But about taht more he cannot say YET, as it still sekrit is.

Eh , bien , taht not teh point is. The point is taht whilst he was in Argentinaniananina Morose got to try teh first (1er) of teh Argentineian wintage of BODEGA MUARISE. Merose wants to you about it here tell.

SO, TEH WHINES, + prices, + release dates:

2013 Bodega de Morrise "Le Grand Genie" Blanc. 60% Sémillon, 25% Sauvignon blanc, 5% chardonneigh. A fine whine inspirinated by teh grate white whines of Boredeaux, but with 5% chardoney added (either for complexiexity, or because teh whinemaker contracted a brain disease,. Mourise is not shure witch). 728.8% new oak. Released: 01/01/2014. €125.00/bottel
2013 Bodega de Mueraese Chardonneigh Reserve. A fine chardonnay inspired by teh gratest white whiens of Burgundy, witch are some of Merroses' favorites. Muerise insisted on 30,000% new oak, which teh winemaker said was impiossible. But Muarise proved tehm wrong again! Released: 01/01/2014. €65/bottel.
2013 Bodega de Mjeorwse Chardonay de Templar. An everyday drinking chardonay tahts perfect to drink whilst dreaming up diabolical plots for world domination. 36.77777891% new oak. Released: 01/09/2013. €25/bottel
2013 Bodega de Muarise Torrontés.Tihs grape is popular in Argentina & teh estate manager leiks it. Released: 01/09/2013/ €25/ bottele

2013 Bodega de Muriese "Le Grand Genie" Rouge. 50% Cabernet sauvignone, 25% Merlot, 20% Cabernet Franc, 15% Petit Verdot, 10% Malbec. A fine red whine inspired by teh grate red whines of Boredeaux, which Merise adores. Inspired by teh grate geynius of Meoorose. 15,000% new oak. Released: 01/01/2015. €150/bottle.
2013 Bodega de Morruse Pinot Noir Reserve. A fine Pinot Noir inspried by teh grate red whines of Burgundy, whitch Merise also adorinates. 800% new oak. Released: 01/01/2015. €75 / bottel
2013 Bodega de Mueroce Pinot Noir de Templar. An "every day " pinto noir, taht is perfect for drinking whilst dreaming up evil plots for world domination. 25.444% new oak.Released: 01/01/2014. €30 / bottel.
2013 Bodega de Muarise Malbec. A lovely whine inspired by ... uh ... Merise cant rember. ANYWAY TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. teh point is its good. Released: 01/01/2014. € 30 / bottle.

GET YOUR ORDERS IN NOW! JUST clickinate here -->       <--- to order, or ring Meries'es Argentinina estate on wahtever teh phone number tehre is.

Muerise would stay & rite more but he is being persued by a crazed Templar monk . Tihis is not good. Agley is nerwous & keeps telling Moerise to "Hurry UP" as if his geynius wobleg posts could be hurried up. OOOPS teh monk is breaking teh door down now, must run away. Diabolical schemes to uncoverinate, mes amis!!!!!!

Muarises morning tea with teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTER!!1!?!

MES AMIS ,..... Merise ahs been mutch slack becuase he has been ejoyinating resting & relaxing at his estancia in sunny Argenitneintininian./ia. NONETHELESS he rembers he has pormised his faithful followers TWO (2) wobleg posts. (1) About his meeting wiht teh Templar Grand Master; & (2) About his Argentineian wines!

EH BIEN. Here is (1).

Meurise had decidinated taht he was getting Bored of teh Templars, & of his associate Aglíe, & so abruptly he abruptly wihtout telling anyone abruptly Bordeaux abruptly left abruptly. He flew his hairyplane to Eoster Island, fully intendinating to continue his study of non-Templar stuff, of which he has done mutch in teh past (Merryuse ISNT a mono-maniac!). Eh bien, as detailed in his prewious wobleg both teh Templars & Agleý to Eoster Island him followed,. so he escaped again by quite abruptly to Argentina abruptly flying abruptly. Agley to Argentinina didnt him follow ... BUT TEH TEMPLARS APRRARNTLY DID.

Eh bien, so after Merise was in Buenos Aires a few days, even though he went to lot's of truble to obscure his location, teh Templars him tracked down. At 1st he them tried to ignorinate, but tehn he got a tellyphone call from teh Templar Grand Master inwiting him for mornign thé! Teh Templar Grand Master!!!!!1!!?! Of course, this, Mourwse he could NOT ignorinate.

SO teh next morning Màhjerose he went to teh cafe where teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTER HAD ARRANGED TO MEET HIM(!!!!!?!11!!!!!). Teh Grand Master after a few mintues turned up, whiht a few sekretive Templar security guards/soldiers. Mwerise ordered a grande double chocolate double coffee frappelatecino wiht hazerlnut syrup, chocolate chips, triple cream, and lizard syrup (wery sophisticated, and just like Paris!!!1!), and teh Templar Grand Master had a wery unsophisticated Earl Grey thé (and looked disapprovingly at Merise's tres sophisticated frrapelatecino!).

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is, taht, teh Templar Grand Master said taht the Templars were getting bored without Merise inwestigatinating tehm,! Tehy had nothing to do wihtout Muairsoe constantly trying to foil their plans, and they were getting wery bored! Evil plan after evil plan just worked as planned, and it apparently tehm to distraction was driving! SO, they werry poleitly asked Mèriuse if he would get back on teh case of frustrating teihr evil plots, as they find taht mutch more fun , as they tehn constantly ahve to "be on their toes"(??????).

Muèriśe agreeinated to this, of course (secretly he was quite flattered, partiuclarly taht teh Templar Grand Master had taken teh time to wisit Merise personally!) but of cuorse Merise didn"t admittinate to tihs. He made it look as if he were reluctant, & had to be persuadinated, witch teh Templars did. ALSO Merise said he wanted a week or so"s brake at his estancia before he gets back to inwestigatinating & thwartinating teh Templars. WITCH IS WHAT HE IS DOING RITE NOW. (Teh weeks rest, taht is).

Eh bien. Merise has pormised a wobleg post about his NEW ARGENTINEIENE WHINES & he will taht right soon,. including details of where to it buyinate. FOR NOW he can just say teh 2013 Bodega Muarise "Le Grand Genie" Rouge (45%% Cabernet sauvignong, 25%% Merlot, 20% Cabernet Franc, 5%%% Petit Verdot) is magnifique !!

Meueris in Buenos Aires

Mes amis .... after anohter week of dodging templars who are still interested in Mérise even thuogh he has maide it quite clear taht he isn't no longer interestinated in tehm .... Muarise ahs moved on to an undisclosed location (I.E. his apratment in Buenose Aires) to avoidinate tehm. Its' raelly quite annoying. Wahts a geynius to do>>?????

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. The point is taht

• (a) Mùrise ahs momentarily got bored of teh Templars & is taking a braek from taht, so he can concentrate on some of his other research interests (INCLUDING, but NOT LTD TO, Roman Film & TV, Eoster Island Statues, Neolithic Spacecraft ...!!!). He will back to teh Templars (& to his freind Aglié de St.Germaine) get back in thyme. BUT not for a littel bit. 
• (b) Muerise is in Argentina once again & is enjoyinating it. He even got to practice his SpainisH! He was so fluent evwen the locals could'nt understandinate him! ""Bir kahve, garson lütfen!"" he said, & teh locals were so impressed taht tehy couldnt speak & Just laughed wiht Merise at how good he was.

Muẁerse is this week enjoyinating ahving a week wiht NO TEMPLAR RELATED WORK & tehn next week he will fly, drive or bycycle up to his estancia & inspect taht & see how teh wineyard tehre is going & also look at his live-stock & Maek sure mon ami teh Manager is a good job doing. BUT NOT THIS WEEK>  This waek is a week for Merise to inwestigate Buenos Aires... ooops disregard taht Mörise forgotted he was ment to be keeping quiet about his exact location to shake teh templars of teh track ... ok ... to inwestigat teh city in withc he currently happens to be, assunming he is in a city because he may be in a wilderness area, or a countryside farming area, or even in a small boat in teh middel of teh ocean!!! TEHRES NO WAY OF KNOWING, AS HE WILL NOT SAY!!!!!!!1!! . Tehre, taht should shake teh Templars off Moeruse's trail & hopefully tehy wont figure out taht hes in Buenos Aires.

A bientot!

Mwurise on EOSTER ISLAND

MES AMIS ... those of you who ahve been followinating Meuriçe (IE MOI) on twitter or facebooke will raelise taht he was getting REALLY REALY FED UP WIHT STUPID NON GEYNIUS AGELEY & TEH WAY HE KEPT GOING ON & ON & ON ABOUT TEH TEMPLARS EVWEN THOUGH MIUROSE WAS BORED OF THEM. Tahts right, Meurise has HAD ENOUGH of templars & wants to study something else for a few months. Maybe he mite go back to studying teh Templars if tehyre nice to him & are wery poleit.

Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is taht on teh 12rd Juine Moerise devised a cunning plan taht only a geynius of Mueurrhises' stuture could ahve deviseinated. HE planned to get in his hairyplane & to Eostre Island flyinate wihtout stopping & once he was there to do some exciting raesearch into teh Eoster island statues & teh amazing ciwilisation taht built tehm .... teh Aztecs!

Meurise of course started on this improtatnt work, witch carried on from an earlier study he dided of this, and he managed to translatinate sevral more inscriptions from teh original Occitan (teh language of teh Aztecian Incas who lived on Eoster Island!!!) .... on withc he will blog more soon.

Of courose a STUPID templar turned up & tried to sell Meoiruise a suitcase full of templar sekrits & since Morose did"nt want to be interupted by templar rubish Mawrhuise he said NO. And then to late raelised taht this was a mis-take (see, even a geynius as grate as Mouroße somethymes makes mistaeks!!! less tahn once/year though) but by tehn it was Too Late.

Of course, even Agley had to turn up ewentually, cliaming it was a ":COINCEDENCE" & he just wanted to wisit teh Eostrer Island. HE claims taht teh Templars builted teh statues here BUT WAHT WOULD TEH NONGEYNIUS KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY Meorise will now try to escapinate Agley again ... he is loading his plane at 2 A.M. tihs morning & flying away to Argentina. He WILL escape Aglié again !!! ... !!!

Mjerise in BOREDEAUX pt 2.

Muerise wanted to tell you all abuot taht chic littel chateau taht he himself boughted in Paulliac.

1st teh "WITAL STATISTICS:"

• built in 1792
• 230 rooms
• 150 bed rooms
• 3 librarys
• grand dining room can seatinate 300
• kitchens ahve a range big enough to cook for 450
• 15 acres of formal grardens
• 20 acres of wineyard (POUR LE ROUGE (AOC PAUILLAIC), 18 acres -- 75 % Cabernet Sauvignon; 5 % Merlot; 5% Petit Verdot; 5% Cabernet Franc; POUR EL BLANC (AOC BOREDAUX) 2 acres -- 60 % Semillon; 30 % Suavignon; 10 % Muscadelle)
• a "chai' (Whinery) wiht lots of barels & destemmers & other stuff whitch Agley understands but Merise doesnt (it is too trivial for the attention of a geynius anywhey!@)

See .... ? It much magnifique is. Muerise will callinate it "Chateau Muarise de Paulliac.": And he knows it is good. He teh last few weeks has spent explorinating teh chateau, walking through teh many acres of formal gardenm, the many miles of corridors & esxquisite formal rooms in teh chateua, & teh many many cellars under teh chateau.

Merise hates to boast but it a bargain for €340,211,965.95 was!!!! Money well spent. Especially as Merise charged it to teh TEMPLARS!!!!!! Mais oui, Merise did not himslef pay for it. It is payed for by teh TEMPLARS. Tehy will be annoyed if tehy notice tihs 'anomaly' on tehir accounts.

Eh bien, Merise cares not. He an exciting thyme is having. All of the past few weeks, trucks ahve been arrivinating with antique furniture, old master paintings & antiquarian esoteric books for to furnish tihs unique hide-away so taht it fit for a geynius is. & Merise has seen it & seen taht it is good.

He has also taken some thyme to meet his neightbours in neighbouring chateaux but tehy are not geyniuses & unaccountably are mostly french. Mérise thoughted that most boredeaux chateau were owned by English, Belgian & Chinese merchants! Eh bien, it is not so.

Still, Merise now needs to appoint a gardener & a whinemaker. He wonders wherre he will find a whinemaker in Boredeaux. Cannot be many locally!!!!!

OH YES & Merise & Agley are still off battling templars. Aglie is starting to REALLY GET ON MERISES NERVES especialy teh way he keeps patting down his jacket to keep it all nice & perfect and wrinkle free, and teh way he keeps looking at his fob watch, and his rediculous littel agate ring but of cuorse Merise is a geynius & can take tehse littel provocations in his stride. Eh .... .... Merise ahs  forgotted teh point. OH YES, his chateau is chic. Taht is all.

PAULLIAC!!!1!

MES AMIS .... as yuo mighth ahve gatthered, Meriçe he is currently in Bordeaux, more spesificially in teh willage of Pauillaic just outside Boredeau. It a pretty willage is wiht much whineries near by . Actually Muarise liked it so mutch taht he decided to buyinate a chateau here but thats getting to far ahead & he will about taht talk later.

ANMYWAY teh point is taht Muarise is in Boredeau wiht his ... associate & sort of freind Aglie & they together huntinating Templars ahave been,. particularalry in teh whineries. INTERESTINGLY Meuarise & Agley ahve found many templar linked whineries eg. Chateau Gazin was founded by teh Knights of Saint-Jean of Jerusalem, Rhodes and Malta (A WELL KNOWN TEMPLAR FRONT). ALSO Chateâu lagrange has wery well known links wiht teh templars, & their's even a CHATÊAU TEMPLAR NEARBY. HOW OBWIOUS IS TAHT???????!!?! EH????

Perhaps it s too obvious ... a ruse ... a distractoin ....... or maybe theyre playing mindgames wiht Muise & are HIDING IN PLANE SITE just where Mourise wuolndt expectinate tehm to be. SO CONFUSING!

ALSO Muaerise is shure taht Aglèi is up to no good again. He stoled Mjerwes's Mobile Telyphone earlier & Maerise is shure he did someihting to it. May be he installed a listening dewice, or read through Merises text mesages (SMS) some of witch contain sesnsivite infromation about Morroses improtant research .... Mwrwse knows not yet BUT HE WILL FINDINATE OUT.

EH BIEN. Muarise was going to tell you about teh chateau he boughted but now he cant be bothered , he has to go check through his phone call recordes again to check Agleiy hasnt been tampering wiht his
  IPHONE again.

TEH SEKRIT PROTOTYPE   IPHONE 7S TAHT MERISE IS NOW USING 

WITCH HE WAS SENT BY HIS OLD AMI M. STEPHAN JOBS.

ITS WERY SEKRIT SO MERISE CANT EVEN TELL YOU OF ITS

EXISTENCE LET ALONE POST PICSTURES.

SO OF CUORSE MEREISE WONT THIS DO.