Joyeux Noël

Merrhyse is unhappy as he by himself all alone on this ilsand most horrible celebrated Christmas.

But, mes amis, not to be despondent! Mawrhyse has a method to escape from here determined, and will tell all his readers most loyal and devoted when he it has just perfected most beautifully.

First I have to figure out how to make plane fuel from coconut milk. Hmm, tricky! But Meriçe is a geynius. And for a geynius, nothing is imposible. NOTHING, mon ami!

Good news everybody!

Horray once again for Merhise! Marrhyse has just got off the phone, after a conversation on the iridium satellite phone that lasted for many hours. This, it was the last of a number of téléphone calls that Murose made to secure himself a new publisher more fitted to his status as an Author Most Important.

The Milanese publisher most prestigious, Manutius, has agreed to publish Merrhyçe's new book The Mouthwash of the Gods. Marhise, he is overjoyed! The owner, a M. garamond, says that when I get off this island prison most infernal he will to his office invite me for cofee. Also, Murrise has agreed to write a book on the ancient mystic traditions encoded in the easter island paintings for their series new, Isis Unveilled. Maryse, he is convinced it will be a triumph. I, Meryse will make it so!

Also, I started reading Foucault's Pendulum yesterday, but had to stop. Merrhyse, he did not understand it. It was too trivial for a mind as great as his. It's by some guy named Umbarto Eco or Umberto Eko, I can remember not. still it, it is not significant to this post at all.

Frenquenly unasked questions

F.unA.Q. no 3489312

From: "Níðhöggr" [nithhoggr@dragonclaw.yggsdrasil-online.org]
To: Ratatoskr.Squirrel
Subject: Paris

Has Maurice ever really visited Paris?

Good question for Ratatoskr. I'm perfect squirrel to answer this. Easy -- its as likely as I've ever visted Ásgard. That answers it for once and for all doesn't it?

Hey! whos that asking then how come Maurice knows so much about Paris if he's never been there? Easy. Never said he'd not been to Paris. Matter of fact, I've visited Ásgard. Why'd you think I hadn't. I am Ratatoskr, no ordinary squirrel.

Ásgard's a nice enough place, but the cafes are overrated and the gift shop is frankly just overpriced.

Oh yes, and Víðópnir says to say your flames are luke warm and you can't fly as well as him. After all you're at Yggsdrasils roots whilst he soars high above you at its very top. You want me to pass on another message back to him for you? Eagles, huh.

Your squirrelly squirrel,
Ratatoskr.

Café society

It's good to see that my old friend Ratatosk is keeping you at home well informed of the geynius that is Merose. I have not a chance to read any of his posts yet had, but am sure he nothing but praise and adoration for his good freind Merrice has. I am also sure that you, mes amis, my loyal readers are greatful to have another window onto the geynius that is Marreçe.

Well, mon ami, today Merise day dreamed about walking down the long boulevards of Paris, and drinking many cups of coffe with his good freinds in small parisian cafes. The eleganse! The conversation most intelligant! And all these people in admiration of Meryse! Merrriße misses it all much.

Still, even if Maryse cannot the wide boulevards of paris recreate, he can try to recreate a small coffe shop. He has the espresso machine set up on a small bench, and has a counter created for his cafe. Now all that is missing is the conversation intelligent and the adoring people come to admire the great Merhise.

Still, at least Mauwrhyse can enjoy an intellectual discussion with this palm tree. ANd debates with that basalt boulder. These conversations, they help keep Merrhyse sane and happy. Oh to be in Paris now spring is here.

Hang on springs not here yet in Paris. Its still mid winter.

Fun facts to know and share #56971

Maurice is not really French, he is just pretending.

I'm not tricking you. Not at all. I, Ratatoskr, really am a squirrel, and I live on Yggsdrasil. Boy oh boy did that genius Maurice mess up hiring me as his PA, rather than Hermes. Squirrels do not good PAs make. Still, great for Ratatoskr. Keeps me in acorns.

It's not exactly the first or last time that Maurice has messed up big time too.

Regards,
Ratatoskr.Squirrel

Phoning Merise's editor

Merese rang his editor on the satellite phone today. I do not always with my editor get on well, so it was not as pleasant as one may expect of such a phone conversation.

After all, one would expect a lowly editor would of course be honoured to work for such a great genius as M. Muryce de Perfossor! Alas, it is not the case, mon ami. My editor, he is much annoyed with Merisse. Morase wonders if this is because he at him a chair threw last time we met. No, Merryse is convinced it is not this minor incident. Morrrise is the definition of composure at all times, and they were eventually able to rebuild their garden pagoda.

No, mes amis, it is simply that a person as mediocre can not with such a great mind, with such a genius as is Mariçe cope. No, it is beyond him and he is envious of my intellect and my fans most devoted. Maybe he is just of my red beret most wondeful envious.

Eh bien, when Meryße is off this island he will another publisher find. One who his great genius can appreciate. It will be them, not V. A. Nity Press that will publish Meryse's new messterpeice, the novel The Mouthwash of the Gods!

Gargle twice daily with NEW improved mouthwash

Well, thanks to Ratatosk for his post. I have not a chance to read it yet had but I am told it provides another angle on the geynius that is Merise.

Well, mes amis, Merryse continues his great work, working tirelessly on his messterpiece, that epic novel, The Mouthwash of the Gods. I am just to the point where the hero convinces both Odin and Apollo that they should gargle with NEW improved Septic Mouthwash. It is quite a moment dramatique, and one of the central points most epic of such a novel so new and unique that it is incomparible, mon ami. Incomparable!

Well, mes amis, stuck here on a desert island Marryçe missed the iPhone launch in Paris. here is the luanch I missed out on, from mon ami youtube:



Well, Merryße is much sad that he this most wonderful event missed out on completely. But now he can watch it on the internet, it is not so bad, mes amis. Also, he now his has wery own iPhone and he with it is much happy even if he it cannot much use as there is no mobile phone network nearby.

Still, at least he has this satellite phone. Still, you should see how long a video YouTube takes to load on this very slow satelite link. It is very very slow, mes amis, very slow.

Merryse notices the difference betweeen this and ADSL...

Ratatoskr!

Well hello there from Ratatoskr, your all time favourite squirrel. 

Well things were pretty quiet here on Yggsdrasil, then I checked my email and found that my good friend Maurice had invited me to contribute to his weblog! Boy oh boy did that so-called 'geynius' mess up this time. Truly they say to err is human, but to really really mess up big time, massive scale you need to be Maurice.

And it may be human to err, but as a squirrel that doesn't really apply to me.

Yours,
Ratatoskr

Code division multiple access

Mes amis, Mawresse has noticed that one of the captains mobile phones is CDMA. So he can confirm that he cannot even get a signal CDMA here on this desert island.

Merrose, his iPhone arrived today via courier. He was much excited to have un nouveau téléphone mobile. He has activated it using his computer, but I am not able to much else do with it. Merrase is on an uninhabited desert island in the middle of the pacific, all alone. There are no GSM mobile phone networks here, mon ami. Still, he can his calendar work out! Here is an extract:

Friday 7th December: Wait for rescue.
Saturday 8th December: Wait for rescue.
Sunday 9th December: Day off. Read book. Talk to palm trees.
Monday 10th December: Wait for rescue.
Tuesday 11th December: Wait for rescue.
Wednesday 12th December: Wait for rescue.

Mes amis, I think you the picture get! Still, at least I this satellite téléphone have.

Rue Mouffetard

From: Jacques [jacques@mouffetard-1.fr]
To: Maurice de Perfossor
RE: Rue Mouffetard

Please tell us about your wonderful apartment on Rue Mouffetard?

Jacques

Well, my devoted readers, you have spoken and I, Morreyse, have listened! Eh bien, my appartment most beautiful is what you will hear about.

It is too, too long since I have been in my beautiful Rue Mouffetard apartment. Still, I miss the markets most beautiful, and the cofee shops where I would talk to my devoted audiences. Mowrrise would sit and talk to a devoted audience until they all suddenly had to go, and the coffee shop it became very empty. This often happened quite quickly, but Morese knows they did not want to go. They were enjoying listening to me speak.

And Moryçe's apartment was the epitome of understated French elegance! The simplicity yet beauty of it astounded people much!

Here, mes amis, is Morrhyse's bedroom:


Here is is simple but functional living room and study:


My favourite memory still is walking down Rue Moufffetard one winter's evening, with the lights most bright shining and the cold and the darkness all around Morrhyse, knowing that he his apartment most beautiful had to go back to. It is at such time that Parris is at its most beautiful, at night in the lights of the street.

Mowreyce misses it still!

Apologies, mes amis, apologies

Mes amis, Mowrhiçe must apologise much for his extended silence. I am ware of the sorrow and suffering my many fans must have felt, being deprived evenly briefly of the wit and wisdom fantastique of Maurace.

Well, fear no more, Merrhise is here! Moruse has spent the past few days exploring his island prison, and, mon amis, it is not so bad. There is plenty of food and fresh water. Yesterday, Marrese caught several saucisse de Morteau in his trap. And I have a shelter most beautiful built, which has a desk for Mowrece''s great work, and a small bedrom most beautiful.

Seeing how lovingly constructed and perfect, yet how small and simple and isolated, his new hut is Morrese was tempted to shed a few tears. How I remember my apartment on Rue Mouffetard! It is a far cry from this little hut. I get faster internet access there too. Mowrise misses shopping in the market, and drinking coffe in the little cafes. Ah, how he misses it!

Also, Merrise missed out on the launch of the iPhone, which in Paris happened recently. He has by mail order bought one but he is thinking it is not likely I will a singal from Orange's french mobile network pick up in the middle of the pacific. Even with roaming, there are no standard GSM mobile phone networks here, mes amis.

Maybe CDMA would work.