At the HAIRPORT!

Mes amis, Mowryse he cannot type much now because he at the HAIRPORT is to from Armidale France to Paris Australia fly back so that Mueruse he his lecture can give in Paris Australia. But still, he did not want to disappoint his raeders most devoted, who must be wondering what Miurrhyse he is doing.

Well, Muirhyse this time his is flying first class. No more cattle class for Murise, mes amis! Muarhyse, he will be treating himslef to teh luxury of Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class, as he promiced himself!. Mes amis, you can raed all about the LUXURY murrise he will be experiencing at http://www.atterrissage-forcé.fr/en/fly-af/international/747/Ultra-Premium-Exec-First-Class/.

Now I must bid adieu to my raeders most loyal. Muaruse his flight is being called now mes amis! He is looking forward to getting to Paris Australia and his talk giving to a huge and adoring audience. he just hopes the same thing that happened last time he to Australia tried to fly does not again happen.! Wish him luck, mes amis!!!!

Dinner with Agliè!!

Mes amis, the dineer to which mon ami Agliè invited Mauerowse, it was not an unmitigated triumphf for Murrhise. It all started badly when Maurise he the blackcurrent cordial with him took, rather than the Romanée-Conti wine. Aglie, aparently he would have the wine preferered.

Still, Mon Ami Aglie he at least some of his own wine had to with Miurhuse share. Miureise regaled Àglìè with many of Muyruse his tales of adwenture about the many times Murrise he has been stranded and lost in remote places. He was mid way throiugh a tale of Miuwryse his time in Norway, when mon ami Aglei he became most agitated, and said he rememebered an ergent matter with which he must attend.

Still, Murise is never disappointed when his friends suddenly have to ask him to leave for no apparent raison. Murise he had enjoyed an evening most magnifique, apart from these few minor mishaps. Aglie and Muiwryse they discussed many interesting things, and shared much knowledge unique and estoric. Aglie told Muawryse all about the Knights Templar, and Muawryse he told Aglei all about line dancing in Switzerland and Swaziland, and also all about Muirise hs NEW SECOND HAND CAR,, teh DODGE.

Ah well, Muirase he is certain that he will with Mon Ami Aglie get to on many occiasions in the future have many exciting and stimulatiting discussions. Muarise, he cannot wait!

Ratatosk

Mes amis, Merrhyse has with his good freind Ratatosk been trying to catch up for the past month. For one thing, Mawryse wants to Ratatosk tell of his escape most dramatic from his island prison. But alas, mes amis, marreyse cannot him reach by teléfone.

Maybe he has his telephone mobile lost, or maybe he cannot at Yggsdrasil GSM reception get. In any case, mes amis, if any of you happen to with Ratatosk talk, please to let him know his good ami Mawruse is trying to him contact would you?

Merci, from Mäurise.

Merrhyse at le Arc de Triomphe

Merrhyse spent one of his first evenings in his home city most beuatiful at that grand monumentt to France and Pariss, the Arc de Triomphe.

Mes amis, it was an winter evening most cold, and Moriçe had to be rugged up warm against the cold. Yet seeing le Tour Eiffel light up on the city distant, it gave Merise such a good feeling of safey and contenment. Yes, mon ami, I to myself thought, Merhy∫e is home once again ! And this time, no Elast Ickband Air and no explodinating crashinating hairyplanes will keep Meryße from his beloved Paryse again!

No, mes amsis, next time Moruse will fly Atterrissage Forcé, the world's numéro 899 airline! Also, he will fly first class. Also, I am sure that First class Passengers would a better class of desert island receive.




Le Tour Eiffel at night from the Arc de Triomphe, a film by Mawrise de Perfoßor.

Maris in Paris

Greetings, mes amis! Well, Maurisee is sorry that he left you waiting and longing for his wit and wisdom most amazing, but now, mon ami, you must wait no more! Eh bien, it is true, that Mawrise he has been most quiet for the past few weeks. But now this geynius, he is back!

And he is not just back to blogging, non, mes amis, he is back in his home city of Parrhyse.And much glad to be back there he is. Is tres bien!

Merhise, he has enjoyed sitting in his local cafe once again, and to walk the streets most familiar around Rue Mouffetarde. Mes amis, it was so good to wake up and realise that now Merrhuse is in his apartment most beautiful on Rue Mouffetard, and to look out on the street and see the Paris street scene most beautiful below him. It is a change most beautiful from his incarceration most tragic on those islands desert so evil and horrible.

The only disappointment most bitter, mes amis, is that there was no grand welcoming ceremony for Mawrhyses return most triumphant to Paris. I cannot this figure out why not. Mawrise called on his good friend Sarko at his house to ask why, but M Sarkozy he pretended to recognise Mewrhiçe not. Mes amis, I have been gone to long! Even my good friends like M Sakrozie have his security guards throw him out.

Luckily, Mrhyse was the model of composure as ever. The security guards were armed after all. Just a few vague kicks and punches, and Mawryse may have smashed a chair on one of their heads. Still, they did not at Mawryuse have to shoot like that. The great geynius could have been injured most greviously!

Still, mes amis, no regrets. Mawryse has gained knowledge and inspiration most valuable from it all. It is all inspiration for my book new most wonderful, The Mouthwash of hte Gods!

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

So true for Merhise too! Like mon ami Edeth Piaff, Mowrhyse still has no regrets, even after his time most awful on that desert island abandaned all alone.

Still, Merrhyse is glad to in PAris once more agian be. He will tell you, his readers most faithful, all about his triumphant return tomorrow. Be patient, mes amis!

Merrhyse waits for rescue

Well, mes amis, Mawrhyse is lost once agian. But he is no longer on a desert island, and he is to civilisation much nearer. He can feel it, mes amis! It is not far now, and soon Meriçe will be rescued, and soon he will an entrance most triumphant into pArise make.

Eh bien, for now he waits aroun in this barn in the middle of the countryside of some country. It is at least most beautiful though the weather it is cold and the trees they do not have leaves on them anymore. It must be winter here, which Merhîse guesses means he is in the hemisphere northern. Closer to Pariss, at least, mon ami!

Yesterday, Mirrhyse spooke again on the téléphone satellite to his new editor in Italy, about his new upcoming book, and his prospects for rescue. Alsas, M Garamond (my publisher new) was not a search and rescue party for me able to arrange. Still, Mawrhysçe himself has telephoned the authorities and they will hopefully for him be looking soon!

Mon ami, Merhysé will in Paris again very soon be!

Of course

Mawrhyse has it figure out now, mes amis. He has a satellite phone! He can for help with that telephone. Maybe somewone will be able to him directions to Paris give. Wish him luck, mes amis!

Lost, mon ami, lost!

Maewrhyse, he is lost, mon ami! Lost! He has been flying about aimlessly for the past few days, uncertain of where he is or where he is going. One day he is flying over ocean, the next over desert most inhospitable. I know not what to do.

Only a few days ago Merise thought he was flying over France. But alas, it was not France, it was just somewhere that looked a little like it (the Galapagos Islands). If only I could the radio figure out how to work. Maybe Mehryshe on that could for help and assitance ask! But alas he cannot.

But, mes amis, all is not lost. Merrose is a geynius, remember! And a genius can always find a way.

Wait for Mawrhise in PAris, he will be there soon!

Lost

Mawrhise, he just now realised he has no map and is lost. Anyone know where Paris is from here?

Mapless

Merrhyse, he cannot a map find. Oh no. Anyone know which way Paris is from here?

Also, Mewryse does not even know where is is right now. Still over the pAcific, he thinks. Also, I have not slept since the night before last. So tired. Must sleep but cannot as am flying airyplane.

Luckily, my mental faculties they are as acute and sharp and wonderfull as ever. NOTHING escapes Mirrhice.

Talking of which, one thing I notice just now mes amis is that Mawryse he cannot a map find. Oh no. I just realised this, it means Merrhyse is lost. Anyone know which way Paris from here is?

Airborne

And Merrhyse is airborne! He flying into the sunset, leaving this island prison most wretched behind him. (The only thing that spoils this image most beautiful, mes amis, is that it is not sunset.)

Thanks to the wonders of satphones, Mowrise can be on the internet and type this even as he flys away from his desert island to the home he missed so much. Aargh, I am loosing altitude mes amis! Meryse must pay attention to flying the plane!

Now to find a map, to see where I must be going to get Mawrhyse back to Paris. I think I saw one back here somewhere.

Lift off

Merrhyse, he continued to work all night on fixinating the hairyplanes. Mawrise, he now has a (more or less) fully functional Piper Cherokee Warrior propellor aeroplane. Mawryse is much happy with this plane. He used components from the Cessnas too, but the finished plane it is mostly like this plane.

I am just about to get into the plane, and take off. Mowryse, he will waste no time in flying home. No, mes amis, you will soon find him once more in Paris. Since I have my laptop computer and a satellite telephone, Merrhyse will continue to blog from the air as he flies home.

Now to fly away home. Wish Mirrhose luck!

Freedom for your weblogger most intrepide!

Horray, Meryse is found a way to get off this island most infernal. Rejoise, mes amis, Marrhise will soon be strolling the boulevards of Paris once more!

Mes amis, Merrhose was walking alone on the island one day when he found something most extraordinary. He found a large sailing ship, beached on the beach and completely abandoned. It was clearly a boat most beautiful, and she was sea worthy. It was such a windy day that Merrhyse, he used it for fire wood to keep warm.

Also, after more searching he had found an abandoned runway, with several rusting decrepit Cessna and Piper aeroplanes lying around. Sacre bleu! A miracel for Miryse! The only thing Mauryse lacked was aviation fuel. But a geniyus like Merise can come up with a solution for any problem (or was it a problem for any solution, I cannot remember, mon ami. No matter, I think it is more or less the same).

Merrhyse had coconuts as a source of hydrocarbons, and for Mawryse it was a simple matter to find a process to turn coconnut milk into aviation fuel. Mes amis, he simply [CENSORED BY INTERNATIONAL PETROLEUM CARTELS. WE DON'T WANT ANYONE GETTING ANY SILLY IDEAS, PLEASE]. What a triumph for Marhise! He finally had aviation fuel!

Well, mon ami, I have the past few days been working on the planes, to see if Merrhyse can get one in good enough state to fly me off this island. Also, Merrhyse has to learn to fly. Wish him luck!

Joyeux Noël

Merrhyse is unhappy as he by himself all alone on this ilsand most horrible celebrated Christmas.

But, mes amis, not to be despondent! Mawrhyse has a method to escape from here determined, and will tell all his readers most loyal and devoted when he it has just perfected most beautifully.

First I have to figure out how to make plane fuel from coconut milk. Hmm, tricky! But Meriçe is a geynius. And for a geynius, nothing is imposible. NOTHING, mon ami!

Good news everybody!

Horray once again for Merhise! Marrhyse has just got off the phone, after a conversation on the iridium satellite phone that lasted for many hours. This, it was the last of a number of téléphone calls that Murose made to secure himself a new publisher more fitted to his status as an Author Most Important.

The Milanese publisher most prestigious, Manutius, has agreed to publish Merrhyçe's new book The Mouthwash of the Gods. Marhise, he is overjoyed! The owner, a M. garamond, says that when I get off this island prison most infernal he will to his office invite me for cofee. Also, Murrise has agreed to write a book on the ancient mystic traditions encoded in the easter island paintings for their series new, Isis Unveilled. Maryse, he is convinced it will be a triumph. I, Meryse will make it so!

Also, I started reading Foucault's Pendulum yesterday, but had to stop. Merrhyse, he did not understand it. It was too trivial for a mind as great as his. It's by some guy named Umbarto Eco or Umberto Eko, I can remember not. still it, it is not significant to this post at all.

Café society

It's good to see that my old friend Ratatosk is keeping you at home well informed of the geynius that is Merose. I have not a chance to read any of his posts yet had, but am sure he nothing but praise and adoration for his good freind Merrice has. I am also sure that you, mes amis, my loyal readers are greatful to have another window onto the geynius that is Marreçe.

Well, mon ami, today Merise day dreamed about walking down the long boulevards of Paris, and drinking many cups of coffe with his good freinds in small parisian cafes. The eleganse! The conversation most intelligant! And all these people in admiration of Meryse! Merrriße misses it all much.

Still, even if Maryse cannot the wide boulevards of paris recreate, he can try to recreate a small coffe shop. He has the espresso machine set up on a small bench, and has a counter created for his cafe. Now all that is missing is the conversation intelligent and the adoring people come to admire the great Merhise.

Still, at least Mauwrhyse can enjoy an intellectual discussion with this palm tree. ANd debates with that basalt boulder. These conversations, they help keep Merrhyse sane and happy. Oh to be in Paris now spring is here.

Hang on springs not here yet in Paris. Its still mid winter.

Fun facts to know and share #56971

Maurice is not really French, he is just pretending.

I'm not tricking you. Not at all. I, Ratatoskr, really am a squirrel, and I live on Yggsdrasil. Boy oh boy did that genius Maurice mess up hiring me as his PA, rather than Hermes. Squirrels do not good PAs make. Still, great for Ratatoskr. Keeps me in acorns.

It's not exactly the first or last time that Maurice has messed up big time too.

Regards,
Ratatoskr.Squirrel

Phoning Merise's editor

Merese rang his editor on the satellite phone today. I do not always with my editor get on well, so it was not as pleasant as one may expect of such a phone conversation.

After all, one would expect a lowly editor would of course be honoured to work for such a great genius as M. Muryce de Perfossor! Alas, it is not the case, mon ami. My editor, he is much annoyed with Merisse. Morase wonders if this is because he at him a chair threw last time we met. No, Merryse is convinced it is not this minor incident. Morrrise is the definition of composure at all times, and they were eventually able to rebuild their garden pagoda.

No, mes amis, it is simply that a person as mediocre can not with such a great mind, with such a genius as is Mariçe cope. No, it is beyond him and he is envious of my intellect and my fans most devoted. Maybe he is just of my red beret most wondeful envious.

Eh bien, when Meryße is off this island he will another publisher find. One who his great genius can appreciate. It will be them, not V. A. Nity Press that will publish Meryse's new messterpeice, the novel The Mouthwash of the Gods!

Code division multiple access

Mes amis, Mawresse has noticed that one of the captains mobile phones is CDMA. So he can confirm that he cannot even get a signal CDMA here on this desert island.

Merrose, his iPhone arrived today via courier. He was much excited to have un nouveau téléphone mobile. He has activated it using his computer, but I am not able to much else do with it. Merrase is on an uninhabited desert island in the middle of the pacific, all alone. There are no GSM mobile phone networks here, mon ami. Still, he can his calendar work out! Here is an extract:

Friday 7th December: Wait for rescue.
Saturday 8th December: Wait for rescue.
Sunday 9th December: Day off. Read book. Talk to palm trees.
Monday 10th December: Wait for rescue.
Tuesday 11th December: Wait for rescue.
Wednesday 12th December: Wait for rescue.

Mes amis, I think you the picture get! Still, at least I this satellite téléphone have.