Muariose is an EXPERT NAWIGATOR so he thoughted taht peoples might enjoy & learn from teh wery clever & efficient route he worked out from NEW YORK CITY to QUEBEC CITY:
Showing posts with label navigation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label navigation. Show all posts
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Merise his EPIQUE TAXICAB JOURNEY
Mes amis ... Mawrise is excitinated to once more be back in Nouveau Yorke after an epic taxi ride ... and in thyme for his favorite winter cellybration, Ēostremass!!!?!1!
Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.
He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.
Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.
WHY?
This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:
SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:
Merise is conwinced that teh mayor of NYC, his good freind M. Mayor Bllomberg, had a tickertape parade planninated to celebrated Moerise ariving back in NYC but alas since Mwerise arrived wiht little warning he cuold not it arrange . Merise tried phoninating him but alas he cuold not to him get through,. He could not conwince teh secretary taht he a personal freind of M. Mayor was. Stupid nongeynius secretary,,.
Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.
He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.
Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.
WHY?
This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:
- Interstate highways, and highways in general
- Maps
- GPS SatNavs(TM)
- Compasses
- Road signes.
SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:
- 21st Novembre: Depart from San Fran Cis Co, California.
- 28th Novembre: New Mexico
- 2nd Decembre: Wyoming (tihs is wehn Merose realsed taht the taxicabdriver might be lost ...)
- 6th Decembre: Kentucky ( but no thyme to stop for taht rare local delicacy of fried chicken ...)
- 6th Decembre: Tenesse (Merose was worried we in teh worng direction were going!)
- 9th Decembre: Alabama (tihs definately not on teh way to NYC was!!!?!)
- 11th Decembre: Arkansas (here Mieroses phone battery died & he a draft wobleg post lost & he cuold no longer keep tweeting -- A CATASTROPHEY!)
- 13th Decembre: Iowa (MUCTH LOSTNESS()
- 14th Decembre: Wisconsin
- 15th Decembre: Ontario (Merise is shure taht Canada was not on teh way to NYC)
- 17th Decembre: Quebec (Merose managed to conwince teh taxicabdriver to start driving south when he got to teh sea )
- 18th Decembre: Massachusetts
- 19th Decembre: Nouveau York City .... FINALLY!!!?1?!!!???!*&!?@#!!!
Along teh way Merose wisited many small towns as he trawesersed all teh byways of small town Amrica, and staid in all teh local motels, ate at all teh local restorants, and drank all teh local wine (ALL OF IT, sorry none left for any body else!!?!). It mutch interwesting was, & he shuold a booke of his experiences writinate,. One day. When Agley is around to help him. NOT TAHT HE NEEDS AGLEÍ'S HELP,.
EH BIEN. That not teh point is ..............,... teh point is taht Morise is looking forward to Ēostremass in NYC ,. HE HOPES IT WILL SNOWINATE./ Taht wuold make it wery Ēostremassy. In teh mean time, HAPPY CHRISTMAS as we say in France (Bon noël in english).
Saturday, 24 September 2011
ROAD TRIP PLANNINATED MES AMIS
Mes amis... tihs is tres exciting... Morrhose has been in his apratment in Beaun for a few days/months/weeeks/years/centruries/milleniea (Wahtever, Merisse lost track of teh time and isnt really sure), and has raelly enjoyinated his stay. BUT now he has sometihng even more excinating planed... a ROAD TRIP
Tahts right, mes amis, you heard corectly, a ROAD TRIP.
He plans to drivinate to Bordeaux in Switzerland via teh Jura. He will postinate updates on TWITER wehn he can, and frequent wobleg updates.
There only one problem is... he cant findinate his car keys, he has tehm lost. He was shure tehy were in his jacket pocket... and yet, tehy are not! Miaerwse knows only one solution to tihs problem... BUYINAYE A NEW CAR. Expensive, but nohitng else works. He will talkinate to his local JAGUAR daeler tihs wekk. And tehn, keep tuned, mes amis. excitement awaits....
Tahts right, mes amis, you heard corectly, a ROAD TRIP.
He plans to drivinate to Bordeaux in Switzerland via teh Jura. He will postinate updates on TWITER wehn he can, and frequent wobleg updates.
There only one problem is... he cant findinate his car keys, he has tehm lost. He was shure tehy were in his jacket pocket... and yet, tehy are not! Miaerwse knows only one solution to tihs problem... BUYINAYE A NEW CAR. Expensive, but nohitng else works. He will talkinate to his local JAGUAR daeler tihs wekk. And tehn, keep tuned, mes amis. excitement awaits....
Saturday, 16 July 2011
Winter in Sidney...
MES AMIS... tihs is a wobleg post much delayed... Muarrhose has pormised his fans most devoted taht he would woblegginate wery soon... and yet, it happened not.
Eh bien. Merose, he now in Sidney, NSW, Australie now is. He enjoyinating being in his nice littel apratment here is, though he not enjoying teh cold winter weather is. But he had QUITE teh adwenture getting to Sidney... he many wrong turnings took wehn dirving from Paris, NSW, Australie (A) to Sidney, NSW, Australie (H). HEre is teh route he tooked:
View Larger Map
Eh bien, it a long trip was. And, Morrhose wonce again had a run-in wiht teh flesh-eating Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo (Macropus venenum) once again. And, once agian, they tried to eat Mwrose. BUT ... luckily Merose a wery, wery fast car was dirvinating, so he able to escape wiht only minor damage to teh car (Tooth Marks, mes amis, Tooth Marks....). Teh less said, teh better.
EH BIEN.. Tihs cold, it is not agreeinating wiht Maerise. Non, mon ami, he is thinking whistfully of his chateau in Provence.... wehre it will be summer, and tehrefore Nice and Warm.
(ALSO, it is NEAR teh TOWN of NICE...,.., a good pun, is it not, mes amis???)
A bientot.
MOROSE.
Eh bien. Merose, he now in Sidney, NSW, Australie now is. He enjoyinating being in his nice littel apratment here is, though he not enjoying teh cold winter weather is. But he had QUITE teh adwenture getting to Sidney... he many wrong turnings took wehn dirving from Paris, NSW, Australie (A) to Sidney, NSW, Australie (H). HEre is teh route he tooked:
View Larger Map
Eh bien, it a long trip was. And, Morrhose wonce again had a run-in wiht teh flesh-eating Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo (Macropus venenum) once again. And, once agian, they tried to eat Mwrose. BUT ... luckily Merose a wery, wery fast car was dirvinating, so he able to escape wiht only minor damage to teh car (Tooth Marks, mes amis, Tooth Marks....). Teh less said, teh better.
EH BIEN.. Tihs cold, it is not agreeinating wiht Maerise. Non, mon ami, he is thinking whistfully of his chateau in Provence.... wehre it will be summer, and tehrefore Nice and Warm.
(ALSO, it is NEAR teh TOWN of NICE...,.., a good pun, is it not, mes amis???)
A bientot.
MOROSE.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Dirving to Muarese his Argenteninanaina cuontry estate
Mes amis, it 1:30 am here is, but Muhrose much excited is. He JUST NOW decideinated to load up teh Jaguar and get dirvinating, and NOT STOP til he his bueatiful estancia reaches.
Eh bien. Now he must decide waht to pack. he has a few bottels of Romanée Conti, and he must those take as he has none at his estancia left. Waht else? Well, clothes of cuorse. Clothes fiting teh geynius of Mawrise. And books (he is raeding abuot teh Templars agaian!!!). And his flaptop comptutor, so he can rite more on his new nnovel. And his mobile telelephones. And part of his EXTENSIVE BERET COLECTION.!!!!1!!.
Eh bien, he must start to packinate now. Wery soon he will much to tell you have, including abuot teh excitembet of plantinating his new wineyard. MORE SOON, MES AMIS!!!1!!!111#!~
Eh bien. Now he must decide waht to pack. he has a few bottels of Romanée Conti, and he must those take as he has none at his estancia left. Waht else? Well, clothes of cuorse. Clothes fiting teh geynius of Mawrise. And books (he is raeding abuot teh Templars agaian!!!). And his flaptop comptutor, so he can rite more on his new nnovel. And his mobile telelephones. And part of his EXTENSIVE BERET COLECTION.!!!!1!!.
Eh bien, he must start to packinate now. Wery soon he will much to tell you have, including abuot teh excitembet of plantinating his new wineyard. MORE SOON, MES AMIS!!!1!!!111#!~
Saturday, 8 January 2011
Hiappy new year, mes amis!!!1!!!
Bonne année, mon amis!!!1! Or, as we say "en français", "Happy New Year, My Freinds!!" Eh bien, it is true. It once agian a new year is.
Wow! How teh old year wery fast went. Even for such a grate geynius as Murrhjuose, who wery wery good at noticing things that happen wery fast is. The years are so short, it almost seems as if their is a new year every 365 days!!! Incredioble! Incroyable!!
Well mes amis, Merhwse thuoght that his loyal fans had suffered enuogh deprevation of MISSIVES from their favourite geynius (I.E., moi!!! Morose!!!), and so he a wobleg post shuold writinte.
He hopes you a wery good Christmass hjad. He a wery good Christmas had, wihch he spent wiht his long long lost brohter Mycroft in Canbererera.... tahts right mes amis, Mururuse has a brohter..... rember you read taht here FIRST. Anyway, it incroidable catching up wiht him after may yers (5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 100 years? WHO KNOWES?!?!?!) was. Muirhose wanted to tweet and wobleg all abuot Christmas LIVe as it happeniated but alas it was not possible. Mijruse his NON-GEYNIUS borhter forbidinated it (now Morose rembers why he to him stoped talking!!1!) simply becuaeese Mycroft works in some ""confidiential"" projects in Governenmenbt and it cuold have ""Jeopardised National Security"". Wahtever. Murrhuwse, he a GRATER geynius is.
Eh bien, despite tihs, we a grate CHristmas had. For Christmas dinner, we had roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb AND roast goose!!! ALL OF TEHM>>>!! WOAH!! it such a meal was. Their were roast potatoes, roast punmpkin, roast parsnip, a beautiful salad. OH...,.and I still have not teh fois gras starter mentionated....
NAturally Murhose and Mycroft many good whines had. Mycroft is wery partial to teh 1892 Chateau Lafite, so NAturally we several bottels of tihs had... since Murrhose preferinates Romanee COnti we sevral bottels of 1956 Romanée Conti also haded.
Eh bien, as alwauys, even such good thymes to an end must come. And teh day before yester-day, murrhose his hairyplane packinated, and to Paris, NSW flew. He is plaesed to relate taht teh flight only two days him took -- a record, he hardly at all lost got!!!!1!
à bien-tôt...
MUERRHAESE
geynius
Wow! How teh old year wery fast went. Even for such a grate geynius as Murrhjuose, who wery wery good at noticing things that happen wery fast is. The years are so short, it almost seems as if their is a new year every 365 days!!! Incredioble! Incroyable!!
Well mes amis, Merhwse thuoght that his loyal fans had suffered enuogh deprevation of MISSIVES from their favourite geynius (I.E., moi!!! Morose!!!), and so he a wobleg post shuold writinte.
He hopes you a wery good Christmass hjad. He a wery good Christmas had, wihch he spent wiht his long long lost brohter Mycroft in Canbererera.... tahts right mes amis, Mururuse has a brohter..... rember you read taht here FIRST. Anyway, it incroidable catching up wiht him after may yers (5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 100 years? WHO KNOWES?!?!?!) was. Muirhose wanted to tweet and wobleg all abuot Christmas LIVe as it happeniated but alas it was not possible. Mijruse his NON-GEYNIUS borhter forbidinated it (now Morose rembers why he to him stoped talking!!1!) simply becuaeese Mycroft works in some ""confidiential"" projects in Governenmenbt and it cuold have ""Jeopardised National Security"". Wahtever. Murrhuwse, he a GRATER geynius is.
Eh bien, despite tihs, we a grate CHristmas had. For Christmas dinner, we had roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb AND roast goose!!! ALL OF TEHM>>>!! WOAH!! it such a meal was. Their were roast potatoes, roast punmpkin, roast parsnip, a beautiful salad. OH...,.and I still have not teh fois gras starter mentionated....
NAturally Murhose and Mycroft many good whines had. Mycroft is wery partial to teh 1892 Chateau Lafite, so NAturally we several bottels of tihs had... since Murrhose preferinates Romanee COnti we sevral bottels of 1956 Romanée Conti also haded.
Eh bien, as alwauys, even such good thymes to an end must come. And teh day before yester-day, murrhose his hairyplane packinated, and to Paris, NSW flew. He is plaesed to relate taht teh flight only two days him took -- a record, he hardly at all lost got!!!!1!
à bien-tôt...
MUERRHAESE
geynius
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Wisiting Canberra.... and Mycroft...
Mes amis, if you have Murrhose on twitter been folowingk, you will ahve noticed taht he once again on spaeking terms wiht his younger brother Mycroft now once again is. And Murrhose has him been E-MIALING (even touhgh he a lesser mind tahn Moirwse is). AND so it was aranginated taht Murrheçe will him wisit in his Canberraerera hosue. Looking forward to it, mes amis, this geynius is looking forward to it!!!
Just need to find his way to Australie first. Murruse thinks he still over New Zealand is, so NOT LONG NOW....
Just need to find his way to Australie first. Murruse thinks he still over New Zealand is, so NOT LONG NOW....
Subject: Re: Visit me [CLASSIFIED LEVEL=3] From: Mycroft de Perfossor Sent: 11:20 To: Maurice de Perfossor [maurice.deperfossor@hotmail.fr] Indeed, Maurice. See you whenever you remember where Canberra is... Yours Mycroft > ----- Original Message ----- > From: Maurice de Perfossor > Sent: 12/14/10 10:32 AM > To: Mycroft de Perfossor > Subject: Re: Visit me [CLASSIFIED LEVEL=3] > > Of cuorse. A geynius can wisit his non-geynius brother, > non? Will telelephoninate you once Murhuse he has in > Australie arrivinated... > > Morrowse. > > Mycroft de Perfossor wrote: >> >> Planning to visit Canberra whilst you're in >> "Australie"? Will invite Julia around for >> dinner if you come. >> >> Yours >> Mycroft
Thursday, 18 November 2010
In wihch your hero (Murowse) admitinates taht he might slightly in Belgium be
Well mes amis, you might remember teh hairyplane crash most dramatique of yuor correspondent, Mirrhose le genie. You will probably also rember how teh crash, it was not particularly teh fault of Murose at all either.
Well, it turns out taht teh thick, inpenitrable forest in which he fuond himself lost was NOT, as he had initially thuoght, teh rainforests of Belize... it turns out taht he was maybe more corect in his ohter guess, taht he in Belgium was... in teh Plant Palace at teh National Botanic Garden of Belgium, hence thinking he in teh rainforest was. He merely in teh rainforest display in this greenhouse most magnifique was. Taht explains teh cafe taht he was abel to get supplies/sustainence from also.
Eh bien, teh improtant thing is taht he was rescued by teh Belgian police after merely a few days lost in teh wilds of teh Botanique gardens, and for this he is enormously grateful. he is currently now in a hotel in Brussels, waiting until he his hairyplane can get fixed so taht he wonce again can be on his way, to FLY HOME to Australie!!!1!! for Christmas!!1!!
In teh mean time, he is starting work on a new novel. He can pormice taht it will be magnifique!! He will keep you infromed as to his progress on writeinating it.
Well, it turns out taht teh thick, inpenitrable forest in which he fuond himself lost was NOT, as he had initially thuoght, teh rainforests of Belize... it turns out taht he was maybe more corect in his ohter guess, taht he in Belgium was... in teh Plant Palace at teh National Botanic Garden of Belgium, hence thinking he in teh rainforest was. He merely in teh rainforest display in this greenhouse most magnifique was. Taht explains teh cafe taht he was abel to get supplies/sustainence from also.
Eh bien, teh improtant thing is taht he was rescued by teh Belgian police after merely a few days lost in teh wilds of teh Botanique gardens, and for this he is enormously grateful. he is currently now in a hotel in Brussels, waiting until he his hairyplane can get fixed so taht he wonce again can be on his way, to FLY HOME to Australie!!!1!! for Christmas!!1!!
In teh mean time, he is starting work on a new novel. He can pormice taht it will be magnifique!! He will keep you infromed as to his progress on writeinating it.
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Mirhose is STRANDINATED after his hairyplane crash...
Mes amis if you ahve teh grate geynius of Mawrose on Twitter ( and if you ahve not, tehn why not , as he a GRATE GEYNIUS is and tihs an excelent way to basque in his geynius is ) he recently a hairyplane crash has had. And, unlike last time, tihs time it slightly Moroses fualt might have been, becuase tihs time he flew himslef in his new private jet plane.
Obwiously, given taht Murose a grate geynius is, it NOT entirely his fault is. In fact, it must MOSTLY teh fualt of some body else be!! Taht's right.. maybe teh company taht sold him waht must have been a defective hairyplane. Probably a similar porblem to teh problems taht many reputababale hairlines ahve ahd wiht the BoeingBus A380.... Yes, tahts right.. exactly like taht!!
Anyway, regardless of teh fact taht tihs accident was hardly teh fualt of Mwryçe at all, he now strandinated somewehre in teh tropical rainforest of Belize or Belgium some ohter place is... he at teh moment is not sure which, only taht he much lost is. He hoping taht somebody will rescue him wery soon as he much lost is...
He rembers teh plane crash,, lots of broken glass and broken support struts everywehre, wiht his plane in teh middle of teh jungle. Using an explanatory sign taht Murose found nearby, he managed to rescue some supplies from teh back of his plane. He tehn trecked for somewhere between 100km and 100m (he is not sure which) and in teh meantime lost sight of teh crash site.
he is now in a part of teh rainforest taht teh explanatory sign calls "South American Rainforest", just naer teh cafe. He dependinating on teh fruits and berries he can forage, and teh cafe, for sustainence is.
He much desperate is... he hoping taht he will be rescued soon is,, as he knows not waht to do. In any case, he will keep YOU, his loyal raeders infromed...
Obwiously, given taht Murose a grate geynius is, it NOT entirely his fault is. In fact, it must MOSTLY teh fualt of some body else be!! Taht's right.. maybe teh company taht sold him waht must have been a defective hairyplane. Probably a similar porblem to teh problems taht many reputababale hairlines ahve ahd wiht the BoeingBus A380.... Yes, tahts right.. exactly like taht!!
Anyway, regardless of teh fact taht tihs accident was hardly teh fualt of Mwryçe at all, he now strandinated somewehre in teh tropical rainforest of Belize or Belgium some ohter place is... he at teh moment is not sure which, only taht he much lost is. He hoping taht somebody will rescue him wery soon as he much lost is...
He rembers teh plane crash,, lots of broken glass and broken support struts everywehre, wiht his plane in teh middle of teh jungle. Using an explanatory sign taht Murose found nearby, he managed to rescue some supplies from teh back of his plane. He tehn trecked for somewhere between 100km and 100m (he is not sure which) and in teh meantime lost sight of teh crash site.
he is now in a part of teh rainforest taht teh explanatory sign calls "South American Rainforest", just naer teh cafe. He dependinating on teh fruits and berries he can forage, and teh cafe, for sustainence is.
He much desperate is... he hoping taht he will be rescued soon is,, as he knows not waht to do. In any case, he will keep YOU, his loyal raeders infromed...
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Murrhese inwestigates in Saint-Emillion....
Mirrhose soemehow in Saint-émilion has endeded up (he is not sure how, he thinks he a rwong turning somewhere near Riquewihr took, wehn dirving from the Tain-l'ermitage back to Paris. Oh well, it a GOOD mistaek to make was. Mirrhose has ended up in a town most... interesting.
Mirrhose found a secret Templar hideout in teh form of a building called le "Office de Tourisme de Saint Emilion". He went in tehir and fuond out about a tuor taht tehy do of some of teh improtant Templar hideouts!!! These templars over-confident are, if tehy offer visits of their sekrit hideouts to Tourists!!!1!
Mirrhose decided taht this overconfidence thier downfall would be. He would pretindinate to be a Tuorist, and then when on teh tour he would hide and explore teh tunnels himslef. So, Mueerhise went and some prowisions bought (in teh form of Macarons de Saint-Emilion). Tehn he back to teh "Office de Tourisme" went, and hoped taht tehy would believinate his pretence taht he just a tourist was.
Tehy did!! Mirrhose was most gratified by this. Tehy let him on teh tour after he mearely paid tehm teh fee!! Mereçe went along wiht teh tour, and pretendinated to be interested in their made-up explanations of tihngs (e.g.: claiming taht the tunnels were now mostly used to storinate wine: LIES!!). But tehn wehn we in teh catecombes were, Mirrhose sliped away and left teh tour undetectinated.
Well, Mirrhose has teh past few days spent wonderinating around teh catecombes, and has much sekrit evidence about Templar plots foundinated. Lucky he brought plenty of Macarons to eat!! And taht there is lots of whine just lying around: Mirrhose is on to his third bottel of 1947 Cheval Blanc for Today!! Tehse templars claerly like good wine...
After the last of his second bottel of '47 Cheval Blanc yesterdaey, Mirowçe had a revelation about teh Templar plots. Tehy were much much more feindish tahn he thought tehy were. Just like teh macarons he was eating, tehy were seamingly wery simple, but actually wery complex and very well made. And both were filled wiht chocolate flavoured filling.
Now Mierhose has all teh infromation he needs, he just teh exit needs to findinate. He thought he it found a few days ago, but he worng was. Still, he is sure he will his way out of here soon find...!!
Mirrhose found a secret Templar hideout in teh form of a building called le "Office de Tourisme de Saint Emilion". He went in tehir and fuond out about a tuor taht tehy do of some of teh improtant Templar hideouts!!! These templars over-confident are, if tehy offer visits of their sekrit hideouts to Tourists!!!1!
Mirrhose decided taht this overconfidence thier downfall would be. He would pretindinate to be a Tuorist, and then when on teh tour he would hide and explore teh tunnels himslef. So, Mueerhise went and some prowisions bought (in teh form of Macarons de Saint-Emilion). Tehn he back to teh "Office de Tourisme" went, and hoped taht tehy would believinate his pretence taht he just a tourist was.
Tehy did!! Mirrhose was most gratified by this. Tehy let him on teh tour after he mearely paid tehm teh fee!! Mereçe went along wiht teh tour, and pretendinated to be interested in their made-up explanations of tihngs (e.g.: claiming taht the tunnels were now mostly used to storinate wine: LIES!!). But tehn wehn we in teh catecombes were, Mirrhose sliped away and left teh tour undetectinated.
Well, Mirrhose has teh past few days spent wonderinating around teh catecombes, and has much sekrit evidence about Templar plots foundinated. Lucky he brought plenty of Macarons to eat!! And taht there is lots of whine just lying around: Mirrhose is on to his third bottel of 1947 Cheval Blanc for Today!! Tehse templars claerly like good wine...
After the last of his second bottel of '47 Cheval Blanc yesterdaey, Mirowçe had a revelation about teh Templar plots. Tehy were much much more feindish tahn he thought tehy were. Just like teh macarons he was eating, tehy were seamingly wery simple, but actually wery complex and very well made. And both were filled wiht chocolate flavoured filling.
Now Mierhose has all teh infromation he needs, he just teh exit needs to findinate. He thought he it found a few days ago, but he worng was. Still, he is sure he will his way out of here soon find...!!
Monday, 25 January 2010
InFlihgt Entertrainment
Mes amis, Mwerìse he is 10 minutes into teh hairyplane flight from Rhôme to Buenos Aires, and he ALREADY bored is. He & Agly 1st class British Hairways are flyinhg. Agly this insisted -- he would NOT fly wiht Mwerùse his normal hAirline, Atterissage Forcé, which Mjerise made much disapointed. At least tehre would be some entertainment -- teh engine would have normally caught fire at least ONCE by now on Atterissage Forcé.
Eh bien, Mwerüse a GEYNIUS is, so he can wiht teh boredome up put. He tried flicking scraps of paper at Agliè, but he this game did not want to play. Now he trying to raed a newspaper is. But it all rubbish news about stupid non geyniuses as!!! Mirrwse, he a grater geynius tahn ALL of them put togehter is!!!1!
Well, Meruse is falling back on trying to get somehting to eat & drnink to teh time pass. Hmmm -- Mheruse would like Tuna à la Provençale, wiht a bottel of Olivier Leflaive Puligny-Montrachet les Pucelles Premiere Cru 2002 to wiht it go. But alas, teh stewardess not coorporative is!! SHe claims this, they do not have!! She cannot Mweruse a meal get until lunch time, but at least she can him some cheese & biscuits get. Muryse at tihs much angrey was, but managed to restrain himslef and did not teh stewardess atempt to beat up or teh hairyplane attempt to damage. AT LEAST tehre cheese and biscuits are. Merjuse, he hopes teh cheese is TOP QUALITY FRENCH CHEESE. He expects nothing less.
Mwreise is trying to see if he can persauade her to him a bottel of 1985 Haut Brion Blanc him get. Wish Mwerise luck, mes amis!!1!!!
Eh bien, Mwerüse a GEYNIUS is, so he can wiht teh boredome up put. He tried flicking scraps of paper at Agliè, but he this game did not want to play. Now he trying to raed a newspaper is. But it all rubbish news about stupid non geyniuses as!!! Mirrwse, he a grater geynius tahn ALL of them put togehter is!!!1!
Well, Meruse is falling back on trying to get somehting to eat & drnink to teh time pass. Hmmm -- Mheruse would like Tuna à la Provençale, wiht a bottel of Olivier Leflaive Puligny-Montrachet les Pucelles Premiere Cru 2002 to wiht it go. But alas, teh stewardess not coorporative is!! SHe claims this, they do not have!! She cannot Mweruse a meal get until lunch time, but at least she can him some cheese & biscuits get. Muryse at tihs much angrey was, but managed to restrain himslef and did not teh stewardess atempt to beat up or teh hairyplane attempt to damage. AT LEAST tehre cheese and biscuits are. Merjuse, he hopes teh cheese is TOP QUALITY FRENCH CHEESE. He expects nothing less.
Mwreise is trying to see if he can persauade her to him a bottel of 1985 Haut Brion Blanc him get. Wish Mwerise luck, mes amis!!1!!!
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Finally landededed in Austr...,er, in Italy!!!!!
MES AMIS!!! Despite many mis haps, and teh interference of teh Templars (who seem to be in control of teh Australialn polis enough to meke them arrest Mìruse, univesally acknowledged as teh gratest to ever live ever), Muiruise has back to his hosue & home in Italia it madde.
Mes amis, Murùse his trip back was made much quicker tahn normal thanks to a devise called a "GPS", which Mwrrwse guided back to Italia. TRUE, he fell aslepp at one point and overshot the destination, but that a minor porblem was. Maybe one of these for his car he needs!!!
Agluie & Mhyruçe have spent teh day going through teh material found on bored teh HAIRYPLANE Mjërîse borrowed from teh Templars, and much useful infromation found. No wonder teh Templars were so annoyed about Mweruse borowing teihr hairyplane. In any case, it looks good parked next to teh runway of teh Castello di Murjíse private runway, & Mujuröse it thinks he will keep.
NOW, no time for more WOBLEGGING. Mqrqçe & Aglie must run, RUN to teh vine yards & see what (if anytihng) of this years harvest they can save and make in to teh fine whines of Castello di Mwrise. Wish us luck, mes amis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mes amis, Murùse his trip back was made much quicker tahn normal thanks to a devise called a "GPS", which Mwrrwse guided back to Italia. TRUE, he fell aslepp at one point and overshot the destination, but that a minor porblem was. Maybe one of these for his car he needs!!!
Agluie & Mhyruçe have spent teh day going through teh material found on bored teh HAIRYPLANE Mjërîse borrowed from teh Templars, and much useful infromation found. No wonder teh Templars were so annoyed about Mweruse borowing teihr hairyplane. In any case, it looks good parked next to teh runway of teh Castello di Murjíse private runway, & Mujuröse it thinks he will keep.
NOW, no time for more WOBLEGGING. Mqrqçe & Aglie must run, RUN to teh vine yards & see what (if anytihng) of this years harvest they can save and make in to teh fine whines of Castello di Mwrise. Wish us luck, mes amis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, 4 December 2009
Teh hairyplane... it a TEMPLAR hairyplane is... oh noes!!
Despite teh porblems wiht teh planes autopilot, Mjërüse is enjoyign his flight back to Italia. That's right, mes amis, Merèse changed route has & to Italia is goingk, not France. This is because once again he rembered that he had to meet old old ami Aglie to discuss saving whatever we can of teh grape harvest, and make teh bestest wines that we can for Castello di Mereiuse.
ALso, Merè∫e has made some discoveries about teh plane he "borrowed". Teh GOOD discovery is that this plane, it has a GPS Unit!! Wiht MAPS!!! SO now he can his way much easily find.
Teh BAD news is that this hairyplane, it belongs to Templar Airways!! Tahts right mes amis, this hairyplane, it owned by teh TEMPLARS is!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh noes!!! This it wery much bad news is -- teh TEMPLARS might be tracking Merìuse!!!
On the other hand, mes amis, it much good to borrow a plane from teh Templars to escape from teh Templars, no? ALso, they much ... interesting material have in teh hold of teh plane, including several BOXES of books and papers, Templar regalia, boxes of Templar gold & jewelery, and a few Templar computer systems which Mweurjyse with Agly will examine WERY, WERY carefully. Merîuse will keep you up to date wiht ALL teh news about teh secret Templar plots about which he out finds out.
ALso, Merè∫e has made some discoveries about teh plane he "borrowed". Teh GOOD discovery is that this plane, it has a GPS Unit!! Wiht MAPS!!! SO now he can his way much easily find.
Teh BAD news is that this hairyplane, it belongs to Templar Airways!! Tahts right mes amis, this hairyplane, it owned by teh TEMPLARS is!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh noes!!! This it wery much bad news is -- teh TEMPLARS might be tracking Merìuse!!!
On the other hand, mes amis, it much good to borrow a plane from teh Templars to escape from teh Templars, no? ALso, they much ... interesting material have in teh hold of teh plane, including several BOXES of books and papers, Templar regalia, boxes of Templar gold & jewelery, and a few Templar computer systems which Mweurjyse with Agly will examine WERY, WERY carefully. Merîuse will keep you up to date wiht ALL teh news about teh secret Templar plots about which he out finds out.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Greetings from sunny HAIRYPLANE!!!
Mes amis, Mweruise is once again flying a hairyplane. But this time, it not a 747 is. It a Piper PA-31T is. But let me explain, mes amis.........
Mweruse finally managed to get back to his hosue & Home in Paris, NSW, Australia. He there much work on teh garden had been doing, and was also planning his return to Italia so he could work on teh grape harvest wiht Aglie. But then, teh Federal Police, acting on teh instructions of teh Templars managed to Mjerwuse track down. Once again there was some rubbish about stealing a truck and escaping custardy -- all lies!!!!!!!!. Luckily Merèse able to escapeinate was, by locking teh front door and running out teh back door whilst teh polis, tehy were teh front door tryign to break down.
Thinking quickly (well Mérèçe a geynius is), he was able to teh hairport get, where he a Piper PA-31T could borrowinate. He was not able to teh owner of teh plane ask, but Mwewrwise is CERTAIn he/she would not mind. It am emergency was, and Mereuse a grate geynius is..
This annoyed teh Templars no end, all they could do was stand on teh run way and their fists shake. Horray! Le genius (Mjerîse) escaped again!!!1!
Of course, the escape it not wihtout problems was. Despite looking all through Mërjüise his bag, this teh only map he could find was:
There a few porblems wiht this mappe are, such as teh fact that it Australialialilaulai;la does not seem to show, but Merûse thinks he will his way back to Paris, France wiht it be able to find.
At teh moment, he has teh hairyplane in "auto--pillot" mode put (not that ANY comptutor could FULLY replaace teh geynius of Merweçe as a pilot), so now Mwereiuse he time to check his email has & could now wobleg posts write (such as this one!!!1!!). More soon, mes amis, as Merîuse continues his amaazing plane flight....
Mweruse finally managed to get back to his hosue & Home in Paris, NSW, Australia. He there much work on teh garden had been doing, and was also planning his return to Italia so he could work on teh grape harvest wiht Aglie. But then, teh Federal Police, acting on teh instructions of teh Templars managed to Mjerwuse track down. Once again there was some rubbish about stealing a truck and escaping custardy -- all lies!!!!!!!!. Luckily Merèse able to escapeinate was, by locking teh front door and running out teh back door whilst teh polis, tehy were teh front door tryign to break down.
Thinking quickly (well Mérèçe a geynius is), he was able to teh hairport get, where he a Piper PA-31T could borrowinate. He was not able to teh owner of teh plane ask, but Mwewrwise is CERTAIn he/she would not mind. It am emergency was, and Mereuse a grate geynius is..
This annoyed teh Templars no end, all they could do was stand on teh run way and their fists shake. Horray! Le genius (Mjerîse) escaped again!!!1!
Of course, the escape it not wihtout problems was. Despite looking all through Mërjüise his bag, this teh only map he could find was:
At teh moment, he has teh hairyplane in "auto--pillot" mode put (not that ANY comptutor could FULLY replaace teh geynius of Merweçe as a pilot), so now Mwereiuse he time to check his email has & could now wobleg posts write (such as this one!!!1!!). More soon, mes amis, as Merîuse continues his amaazing plane flight....
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Arrivinated in Sudney, still on route to Paris, Australiaa
Well mes amis, your correspondent most bold has finally in Sudney arrivinated, after a most eventful journey!!
As in Maelbourne, he was up by teh polis pulled up shortly after here getting, and again they mentioned some rubbish about custardy but when Mjuerose it offered to discuss over dinner at a fine french restuarant, they most raisonable were. SO, now, after a dinner most fine Mjwerose apparently he has nothing to worry about.
Which a relief is. The journey , it much eventful was!! Those who Mjerose on Twitter follow, will know that he ran across some kanjaroos wiht 3 inch long blood dripping venomous fangs that wanted to Mjerhyse eat wery much. Luckily, Meruçe his HSV Mallo wery fast is and he able to away get was. When he found teh Perth highway, he much glad was and a bottle of 1979 Chateaû Lafite opened and swigged it from teh bottle whilst dirving along as a little treat!!
Mewrüse has since herd from his good freind, teh eminant zoo-o-oligst Mr. George Bentham that these kangarros, they were teh rare species Macropus venenum, or Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo. Aparently there are few reported citings of them NOT beacuese tehy are rare and people do not them see often, BUT because most people that them sight are EATINATED by teh kangarrhos! Meurise to escape lucky was.
Eh bien, Miúruîse much glad to in Sudney be. He will in his Sudnay apratment for a few days, and then to his hoseu & home in Paris Australiaaia will go to rest & relax.
More soon, mes amis!!!!!!!!
As in Maelbourne, he was up by teh polis pulled up shortly after here getting, and again they mentioned some rubbish about custardy but when Mjuerose it offered to discuss over dinner at a fine french restuarant, they most raisonable were. SO, now, after a dinner most fine Mjwerose apparently he has nothing to worry about.
Which a relief is. The journey , it much eventful was!! Those who Mjerose on Twitter follow, will know that he ran across some kanjaroos wiht 3 inch long blood dripping venomous fangs that wanted to Mjerhyse eat wery much. Luckily, Meruçe his HSV Mallo wery fast is and he able to away get was. When he found teh Perth highway, he much glad was and a bottle of 1979 Chateaû Lafite opened and swigged it from teh bottle whilst dirving along as a little treat!!
Mewrüse has since herd from his good freind, teh eminant zoo-o-oligst Mr. George Bentham that these kangarros, they were teh rare species Macropus venenum, or Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo. Aparently there are few reported citings of them NOT beacuese tehy are rare and people do not them see often, BUT because most people that them sight are EATINATED by teh kangarrhos! Meurise to escape lucky was.
Eh bien, Miúruîse much glad to in Sudney be. He will in his Sudnay apratment for a few days, and then to his hoseu & home in Paris Australiaaia will go to rest & relax.
More soon, mes amis!!!!!!!!
Monday, 26 October 2009
Finally arrivinated in Melborke
Mes amis, Mjewrhyse after such a long dirve he has FINALLY in Malborne arrivinated. mes amis, Mwrwçe he such a bad time in Adelaïde had, where Templars posing as Polis Men him tried to arrestinate!!! On fake, made up charges!!!1! But luckily, Miueruyse a geynius is, and so was away able to get.
Well, mes amis, Mwerwise is certain he much exciting things about teh Templar conspiracies will in Malbork find. Melbourne, it is a city of Templars! As it named after Malbork in Poland is, it MUST be. Fear not , mes amis , Mweruse will keep you postinated about his inciting discoveriesese!
Well, mes amis, Mwerwise is certain he much exciting things about teh Templar conspiracies will in Malbork find. Melbourne, it is a city of Templars! As it named after Malbork in Poland is, it MUST be. Fear not , mes amis , Mweruse will keep you postinated about his inciting discoveriesese!
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Morriçe in Adelaïde!
Mes amis, as you all might from my Twitter-based Tweet (or on Faceboook) Mhuwryse arrivinated in Adelaïde on teh 12th, and now several days here has spent.
But do not think that Murryse has just spent his time eating at teh art gallery cafe or drinking cofee on Melbroune straet -- he much inwestigating has been doing! Teh templars, they much active in Adelâïde are, & Mjewrhyse teh geynius will a full account of their plotting & planning will make.
Myruçe this wery difficult thought it would be , but it is not!! They do not hide them selves much here. There even a Masonic Lodge on North Terrace is!!! IN public view!! Incredible. Mirrhuse KNOWS That teh Templars must meet there, so he will try to it infiltrate.
More soon, mes amis.........
But do not think that Murryse has just spent his time eating at teh art gallery cafe or drinking cofee on Melbroune straet -- he much inwestigating has been doing! Teh templars, they much active in Adelâïde are, & Mjewrhyse teh geynius will a full account of their plotting & planning will make.
Myruçe this wery difficult thought it would be , but it is not!! They do not hide them selves much here. There even a Masonic Lodge on North Terrace is!!! IN public view!! Incredible. Mirrhuse KNOWS That teh Templars must meet there, so he will try to it infiltrate.
More soon, mes amis.........
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Driving from Sudney to Melbrourne....
Mes amis, Mhwrujse he currently is from Sudney to Melbrone drivinating. And yes, he still a TRUCK is drivinating, as his Maserati it not at the airport waiting for him was. But Mÿrÿhse, he finds he is almost enjoying a truck drivinating! He is sitting up wery high, watching teh scenery flash past and listening to teh non-geyniuses chatter on teh CB Radio. Almost fun, mes amis, even for a geynius like Mwruise. For some raison, Mjerowse feels he should teh trukc stop & get out & buy a plaid shirt and a baseball cap. This, it much chic would be. But alas, their time is not!!! And berets, they Mur®üse suit better.
Alas, teh trafic here is wery, wery slow still Mjewrowse has managed to dirve at at least 170km/h for most of teh trip so far. At one point he thought he a porblem wiht teh truck had, when he started seeing blue flashing lights in teh rear vision mirror and heard a weird wirring noise. But what ever teh problem was, Mjerrouse knows not. It quickly disappeared after he spead up to 250km/h for a bit. SO whatever teh problem was, at least it temprorroary was and away just went.
Alas, teh trafic here is wery, wery slow still Mjewrowse has managed to dirve at at least 170km/h for most of teh trip so far. At one point he thought he a porblem wiht teh truck had, when he started seeing blue flashing lights in teh rear vision mirror and heard a weird wirring noise. But what ever teh problem was, Mjerrouse knows not. It quickly disappeared after he spead up to 250km/h for a bit. SO whatever teh problem was, at least it temprorroary was and away just went.
Car woes
Well, mes amis, Mjerhowse has in Sudney arrivinated, and has just teh hairyport left. Mjerüse had to teh plane flyinate for much of teh way, and kept forgetting what buttons in teh cockpit did. But ewentually he rememememebered. AND he able to land teh plane much safely & smoothly was, and teh passengers they all Mjerose clapped.
TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.
But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:
Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.
WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!
TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.
But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:
Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.
WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Flying Atterrissage Forcé
Well, this flight so far it much good has been & wery uneventful which good is.
Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.
Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.
Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!
Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.
Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.
Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!
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