Mirhose is STRANDINATED after his hairyplane crash...

Mes amis if you ahve teh grate geynius of Mawrose on Twitter ( and if you ahve not, tehn why not , as he a GRATE GEYNIUS is and tihs an excelent way to basque in his geynius is ) he recently a hairyplane crash has had. And, unlike last time, tihs time it slightly Moroses fualt might have been, becuase tihs time he flew himslef in his new private jet plane.

Obwiously, given taht Murose a grate geynius is, it NOT entirely his fault is. In fact, it must MOSTLY teh fualt of some body else be!! Taht's right.. maybe teh company taht sold him waht must have been a defective hairyplane. Probably a similar porblem to teh problems taht many reputababale hairlines ahve ahd wiht the BoeingBus A380.... Yes, tahts right.. exactly like taht!!

Anyway, regardless of teh fact taht tihs accident was hardly teh fualt of Mwryçe at all, he now strandinated somewehre in teh tropical rainforest of Belize or Belgium some ohter place is... he at teh moment is not sure which, only taht he much lost is. He hoping taht somebody will rescue him wery soon as he much lost is...

He rembers teh plane crash,, lots of broken glass and broken support struts everywehre, wiht his plane in teh middle of teh jungle. Using an explanatory sign taht Murose found nearby, he managed to rescue some supplies from teh back of his plane. He tehn trecked for somewhere between 100km and 100m (he is not sure which) and in teh meantime lost sight of teh crash site.

he is now in a part of teh rainforest taht teh explanatory sign calls "South American Rainforest", just naer teh cafe. He dependinating on teh fruits and berries he can forage, and teh cafe, for sustainence is.

He much desperate is... he hoping taht he will be rescued soon is,, as he knows not waht to do. In any case, he will keep YOU, his loyal raeders infromed...

At the HAIRPORT!

Mes amis, Mowryse he cannot type much now because he at the HAIRPORT is to from Armidale France to Paris Australia fly back so that Mueruse he his lecture can give in Paris Australia. But still, he did not want to disappoint his raeders most devoted, who must be wondering what Miurrhyse he is doing.

Well, Muirhyse this time his is flying first class. No more cattle class for Murise, mes amis! Muarhyse, he will be treating himslef to teh luxury of Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class, as he promiced himself!. Mes amis, you can raed all about the LUXURY murrise he will be experiencing at http://www.atterrissage-forcé.fr/en/fly-af/international/747/Ultra-Premium-Exec-First-Class/.

Now I must bid adieu to my raeders most loyal. Muaruse his flight is being called now mes amis! He is looking forward to getting to Paris Australia and his talk giving to a huge and adoring audience. he just hopes the same thing that happened last time he to Australia tried to fly does not again happen.! Wish him luck, mes amis!!!!

Dinner with Agliè!!

Mes amis, the dineer to which mon ami Agliè invited Mauerowse, it was not an unmitigated triumphf for Murrhise. It all started badly when Maurise he the blackcurrent cordial with him took, rather than the Romanée-Conti wine. Aglie, aparently he would have the wine preferered.

Still, Mon Ami Aglie he at least some of his own wine had to with Miurhuse share. Miureise regaled Àglìè with many of Muyruse his tales of adwenture about the many times Murrise he has been stranded and lost in remote places. He was mid way throiugh a tale of Miuwryse his time in Norway, when mon ami Aglei he became most agitated, and said he rememebered an ergent matter with which he must attend.

Still, Murise is never disappointed when his friends suddenly have to ask him to leave for no apparent raison. Murise he had enjoyed an evening most magnifique, apart from these few minor mishaps. Aglie and Muiwryse they discussed many interesting things, and shared much knowledge unique and estoric. Aglie told Muawryse all about the Knights Templar, and Muawryse he told Aglei all about line dancing in Switzerland and Swaziland, and also all about Muirise hs NEW SECOND HAND CAR,, teh DODGE.

Ah well, Muirase he is certain that he will with Mon Ami Aglie get to on many occiasions in the future have many exciting and stimulatiting discussions. Muarise, he cannot wait!

Crash landed!

Mawrise, he did it! He finally manaaged to control the escape pod, and pilot it back to earth! With no damage to Maerise or anything else important (he did slightly flatten a mountain range just next to Bogotá). AS you may guess, Merose he was aiming for Paris but got Bogotá instead. Near enogh, mes amis, near enough. Right planet ,anway. And for MAWRISE, that, it is better than nothing. Much better than northing.

In any case, Mweryse he is pleased to be back on palnet earth once again. He landeded last night, and is wery glad to have done so. He is staying in a hotel in the center of the city, and is even noew trying to book his plane tickets (or tockets? Mawruse he can never rememememeber) back to Paris again.

When he to Paris gets back once again he will start in earnerst for a house in the south of fRance looking mes amis. He will be wisiting their real soon now to have a look round. Wish him luck mes amis!!!

~~ MERRUSE, bloggging LIVE from his HOTEL ROOM in BOGOTÁ, COLOMBIA!!!

Running out of oxiegen

Mes amis, Mawrise is still Lost in SPace! He knows not what to do mes amis. Also, the oxygen it is running out and Mero∫e he has read that without oxygen he cannot breathe. Mirosse has also read that this, it is not a good thing. SO Moerhhyse he has to figure out how to pilot this escape pod back to Paris BEFORE he out of oxiegen runs. This sounds almost imposible.

Lucky Mowruçe is a geynius and so for Marrrhise nothing is imposssible, mes amis, NOTHIGN!

Err...

Moaurise, he cannot figure out how to control teh escape pod. He wants to figure out how to it make land near PAris, but alas he cannot this figure out. He must, as he does not want forever to in orbit stay. Must be one of these butttons that the pod makes it land.

Maybe Mariose will ask this passing astronaut. He might know.

Still House Hunting

Meriçse, he has the entire day spent talking on his satelite phone, talking to real estate agents in the south of france. It is hapening, mes amis, it is happengin! Finally, Mawriße he will his dream haus in the south of fRance get. If only he can from the Nroth of Norway escaep!

Merrhise he hope satelite telephone calls do not cost much, he has made so many. HE made many calls both in Nroway and in the Dessert Island on which he, the geynius, was trapped. Maybe sateelite phone calls, they are free.

Oh well, in any case Mawruse he will soon from hsi Arctic Hideawya be rescued wery soon mes amis!

House Hunting. Virtual stlye.

Hmm, Maybe this house it would for Merrise be good enough:

http://realestate.nytimes.com/sales/detail/2836-4000005830

No, mes amis, it too modeste for a geynius such as Merrhiçe is. This one, ah mes amis, this one it is more suited for the genie du Merise:

http://realestate.nytimes.com/sales/detail/2836-4000005386

Or maybe this one:

http://realestate.nytimes.com/sales/detail/2836-4000005827

Oh! THe indecisiion! MErrhyse, he cannot his mind make up. ITs too much, mes amis, too much. THese houses, they are all too beautiful. And Merrise, his laptop batterie is about to die mes amis...

Waiting

Greetings from sunny Norway mes amis! Acutally, this it is just Merrises little joke. Its not sunny is wery cold here and Meriçe he has the past few weeks spent shivering constantly. Ah Meroße he pines for warmer climes. He promices himself that onse he gets away from here, he will himself a new house on the south coast of france buy himself. One with at least 100 rooms. ANd NO PERMAFROST.

Still, Merrhiçe a wisitor again at least had. The tall gentelman with the one eye called again today. He, he had two (2) pet ravens with him. Merose, he thinks theyre names were Huginn and Muninn, or Muninn and Huginn, Mawrui∫se he cannot rememebr alas. Still, this Strange wisitor a present at least to Mawrusse gave, he him a beautiful long spear this time gave. MErrhse was most flattered, it most beauutiful is though mArose is not certain where at home he will it put. Maybe in le umbrella sttand.

Oh yes, and if you happen in to in North Norway be mes amis, could you please Merriçe rescue?

A Drawing, by MAERRIYSE

Merrhise, he tihnks it most odd is that he strated writing his new novel after his visitors most weird arrived. It is almost like Mawruse, he was by them inspired. This, it is a notion most rediculous and Meruse he rejects it most sternly!

In any case mes amis, Merrhise he thought you might like this drawing he did of one of his wisitors:



-- MERRHUYSE, NORWAY!

Mawryse in deistress

Mes amis, Merrhuse is not having a good time. Alas, he is still in Norway with no hope of resuce marrooned with no hope of rescue.

But, mes amis, Merhuse he does not give up hope. No mes amis he keeps right on with his Great Wrok. MErrosse has on his next novel been working. Without the distractions of home to distract him, he has been making good progerss mes amis. He has already wrtittne 500 pages of pure gold, the best material he has ever written! Once again, a great geynius has suprassed himself!

Though MEariyssse is all alone by himself, he has had vistors, fear ye not mes amis! A few days ago, two men came up to where Mearise he was camped. One was thickset, muscular and very strong. he, he had red hair and red beard. He had a Hammer on his belt, and it did not look nice. Merise, he was intimitated, but he showed it not. The other man, he was even more worrying.He wore a broad brimmed hat, and a coat blue and a walking staff. He had long white hair, mes amis, and only wone eye. There were two ravens that seemed to belong to him. Merrhyse could not this understand.

Merrhyisle, he talked with thim about many things, including the high cost of stationary. At this point, the younger man he looked much agitated and said to the older man "all father, we have to go now". Then they left. Mmwerrhyese, he caleld after them "Hang on! I just remembered, mes amis, Mwerrhyhjse he is stranded and cannot get away! Can you help him escape?" But alas, the two wisitors most mysterious, they heard him not.

Oh well. Merrhyse, eh does not know who his vistors most estemed were. But he does know that he will be rescued, mes amis! It will happen!

Ratatoskr, if you are reading this mon ami, Merrhise he needs your help! Alas, he much cold is and also out of food is running. Mes amis, he is having to get by with foriaging for food.

Last night, he looked under a rock and found a roast pheasant. He under another rock also looked and found a chocolate cake. But, he is not certain how much longre he can this life of foraging and eating poor wild foods (the pheasent was slightly burned) keep up!

Ratatatoskr, Morise neeeds rescuing Much!

Snigger.

So Maurice has got himself lost again, eh? Typical. And he expects Ratatoskr to get him out of it again, eh? Typical, again. I'm busy. Odin wants me to deliver a parcel for him. It's important, can't let the All-Father down again eh? No, not gonna happen. Can't help. Sorry, want to, hands are tied etc.

In the mean time, might just sit back and snigger. Can someone pass the acorns?

Yours squirrelishly,
Ratatoskr.

Bleeple!

Merrhise, 'is iphone batterie it is dying, mes amis! Le iPone it said "Bleeple!" at Mawrise. Naturally, Merise was not at this happy and demanded that it explain itself further. Then he noticed that the iphone, it had Low Battery Alert printed on its screen.

This is not good, mes amis. THe IpHONE is Maroses primary contact with the otuside world. How will he escape if his iphone, its battery is deadinated?

Ratatoskr, if you're reading this, please Marise help! HE promises he will not his slide show of his book tour force you to watch!

MAURISE, blogging LIVE on his IPHONE with a DYING BATTERY from SOMEWHERE in NROTH NORWAY!

Lost again, mes amis!

Catistrophe! MErrjhyse, he has again found himself lost, this time in the Frozen tundra of the north rather than a desserted tropical island most desserted.

But fist mes amis, how it came to happen. Merrhyse, eh went to the hairport to fly to fly from Riga to Oslo.


Agrandir le plan

Alas, mAwrise, he on the worng flight got. He got on a flight to Tromsø got!


Vis større kart

Alas, when he there arreived he was much distressed and agitated. They did not need to lock Merisse up though, that was an over reaction. I am certain the secuirty guard he will recover, and Maruose only broke a few luggage conveyer belts and some plate glass windows.

When Morise was released, he to the hairport made his way. Alas, eh could not on an hairyplane flight get at such short notice so he for a walk went. Soon, Meruse noticed a Piper and an idea had. He would it steal and fly himself to Oslo! Stealing is wrong of course, but all is excused for a geynius like Merrrryse in the service of his art!@!

Well, MErrhise he got into the lpane and flew southwards for hours and hours. After a while he the plane it out of fuel ran. Alas, he also noticed that he not southwards but north had been going! According to le GPS, merrhise is is 8km out of Nordkapp is.


Vis større kart

Merwuse, he knows not what to do. ALl he can do is wait here and hope he is rescued.

Hmmm... Mewrisse still has his hand luggage, with an iPhone and two satellite phones. Lets se... MErrhise can Just get a GSM signal get... He will try calling Ratatoskr on his iPhone if this it does not work he will on his Stattelite phone try Ratatatosk calling. Maybe Ratatatatosk will help. HE is in Norway, after all.

First though, he must a quick weblog post make on his iPhone. He cannot his public most adoring keep in suspense, after all!

MERRHYSE, blogging LIVE from the site of his PLANE CRASH, near NORDKAPP in NORWAEY!!!@!1!

Merrhyse waits for rescue

Well, mes amis, Mawrhyse is lost once agian. But he is no longer on a desert island, and he is to civilisation much nearer. He can feel it, mes amis! It is not far now, and soon Meriçe will be rescued, and soon he will an entrance most triumphant into pArise make.

Eh bien, for now he waits aroun in this barn in the middle of the countryside of some country. It is at least most beautiful though the weather it is cold and the trees they do not have leaves on them anymore. It must be winter here, which Merhîse guesses means he is in the hemisphere northern. Closer to Pariss, at least, mon ami!

Yesterday, Mirrhyse spooke again on the téléphone satellite to his new editor in Italy, about his new upcoming book, and his prospects for rescue. Alsas, M Garamond (my publisher new) was not a search and rescue party for me able to arrange. Still, Mawrhysçe himself has telephoned the authorities and they will hopefully for him be looking soon!

Mon ami, Merhysé will in Paris again very soon be!

Airborne

And Merrhyse is airborne! He flying into the sunset, leaving this island prison most wretched behind him. (The only thing that spoils this image most beautiful, mes amis, is that it is not sunset.)

Thanks to the wonders of satphones, Mowrise can be on the internet and type this even as he flys away from his desert island to the home he missed so much. Aargh, I am loosing altitude mes amis! Meryse must pay attention to flying the plane!

Now to find a map, to see where I must be going to get Mawrhyse back to Paris. I think I saw one back here somewhere.

Lift off

Merrhyse, he continued to work all night on fixinating the hairyplanes. Mawrise, he now has a (more or less) fully functional Piper Cherokee Warrior propellor aeroplane. Mawryse is much happy with this plane. He used components from the Cessnas too, but the finished plane it is mostly like this plane.

I am just about to get into the plane, and take off. Mowryse, he will waste no time in flying home. No, mes amis, you will soon find him once more in Paris. Since I have my laptop computer and a satellite telephone, Merrhyse will continue to blog from the air as he flies home.

Now to fly away home. Wish Mirrhose luck!

Freedom for your weblogger most intrepide!

Horray, Meryse is found a way to get off this island most infernal. Rejoise, mes amis, Marrhise will soon be strolling the boulevards of Paris once more!

Mes amis, Merrhose was walking alone on the island one day when he found something most extraordinary. He found a large sailing ship, beached on the beach and completely abandoned. It was clearly a boat most beautiful, and she was sea worthy. It was such a windy day that Merrhyse, he used it for fire wood to keep warm.

Also, after more searching he had found an abandoned runway, with several rusting decrepit Cessna and Piper aeroplanes lying around. Sacre bleu! A miracel for Miryse! The only thing Mauryse lacked was aviation fuel. But a geniyus like Merise can come up with a solution for any problem (or was it a problem for any solution, I cannot remember, mon ami. No matter, I think it is more or less the same).

Merrhyse had coconuts as a source of hydrocarbons, and for Mawryse it was a simple matter to find a process to turn coconnut milk into aviation fuel. Mes amis, he simply [CENSORED BY INTERNATIONAL PETROLEUM CARTELS. WE DON'T WANT ANYONE GETTING ANY SILLY IDEAS, PLEASE]. What a triumph for Marhise! He finally had aviation fuel!

Well, mon ami, I have the past few days been working on the planes, to see if Merrhyse can get one in good enough state to fly me off this island. Also, Merrhyse has to learn to fly. Wish him luck!

Joyeux Noël

Merrhyse is unhappy as he by himself all alone on this ilsand most horrible celebrated Christmas.

But, mes amis, not to be despondent! Mawrhyse has a method to escape from here determined, and will tell all his readers most loyal and devoted when he it has just perfected most beautifully.

First I have to figure out how to make plane fuel from coconut milk. Hmm, tricky! But Meriçe is a geynius. And for a geynius, nothing is imposible. NOTHING, mon ami!