Marooned!

I think, my friends, the most important question is: why is it "marooned"? Why not some other colour? Reded? Blueed? Purpled? Greened? This is the question that has been going round and round in Maurisssssse's head since he was Marooned on this deserted island late last month.

But, mes amis, you deserve a more thorugh account of Mowrice's trials. So I will start at the beggining, and start there to tell you about how I came to be alone on this desert island, all alone.

It started on Saturday 27th October, when I left my home near Armidale, France to fly to my other home near Paris, Australia. Naturally, I flew with the airline Elast Ickband Air the world's number 900 airline as I hoped this company, it would be very good. Alas, mes amis, they were not.

At first, the flight it was going well. Mowrrhyse had managed to get into the First Class without anyone noticing that his ticket it was really Cattle Class. Murrrace had a book launch to look forward to when he arrived in Australia, the launch of his new messterpiece Escaping Paradox: A New Methodology in Neolithic Spaceship Construction. Alas, this launch, I was never to see how well it went. Events started to conspire against Morrice about an hour into the flight.

First, a flight attendant noticed that Morrhyse, he was not ment to be in First Class. Naturally, when I was told that Mawrrhyse could not in First Class remain but must to Cattle Class go, I reacted with the calmness and composure for which Mawryße is famous. I tried to explain my case rationally, but maybe Mowryse he got overexcited. Even so, the stewardess she should not have made so much fuss over a small injury inflicted where Morrice bit her, and only about three rows of chairs were damaged beyond repair. 

Well, mes amis, from then on I was in Cattle Class. I do not know at what time it was, but then the plane started developing engine problems. Mawrice, he noticed that both engines were on fire. Soon, the fire it spread to the main body of the plane. This would seem like an insoluble problem but, remember, Morrice is a genius! And no problem is insoluble for a genius like Mawryse. So Maurrice got down his hand luggage and pulled out his snakeskin-patterned parachute, and put it on. He then opened the door and he jumped out.

I then landed in the sea somewhere, and looked up only to see the plane explodinate in a fireball. Mes amis, Maurrice was veyr happy that he was not on that plane any more.

After a day drifting in the sea, Mahryse drifted up on this island. Luckilly Maurrhyse had food in his bag so could still eat. Also, the island has plentiful wild food. Yesterday, Mowrryse hunted and caught some wild tinned confit de canard, and was also able to trap some pâté de fois gras that fell into his trap. Also, he can get a weak WiFi signal from some distant access point. Also, he found that there are power points between the clumps of marram grass - no need to worry about the battery of the laptop becoming deadinated!

So, here I wait, hoping someone will rescue Morryse one day...

Alas

Alas, mes amis, no rescue for Morrhy∫se today.

Maurrhise attracted the plane, which was  a seaplane, and it landed. Unfortunately, it was on a rescue mission looking for someone else, not Morrise.  These people, they were looking for the crew of a ship that had sunk near by. I had, I think, seen this ship they talked of so told them when I had seen it. But alas since they were for these people looking, not Maurryse, they could not rescue me. That was not what they had been told to do.

Eh bien, Maurrhyse will stay on the île and waite...

At least, with internet accesss, my adoring public are not deprived of their chance to bask in 'le genie de Mawryçe' -- the genius of Marise!

Mawrise's voice over IP

Mes amis, do not think that in being lost on a desertted island, Mhyrryse has forgotten his students back at the université. No, mes amis, Mhyrece remembers them still! Until today the university had needed to employ a stand-in lecturer, but no one can stand in for the genius of Maerrice! 

However, today I found that by the magic of modern technology, I can still give my lectures! Yes, my friends, even though I am cast away on a desert island, because I can get internet access, I can do anything!

Today, I figured out how to use the wonderful software Skype to make a video call. With a scype wideo call, Mawrhhece can gives his lectures from afar! My students were so pleased to bask yet again in my wisdom, that they cried from joy.

From my island, I can give my lectures, read papers, and work on my new book about the Tesconians and the Colesmyerians, both breakaway 31st century religious sects. I refuse to mention the Walmartians, they were too horrible for words.

So, Maurrhyse continues with his great work, although without much of the daily grind of teaching, and with little contact to students or faculty


hmm maybe this desert island, it is not so bad after all...

Desert Island Discs

Err, I ment 'disconnected'. But, mes amis, Morricse was disconnected. Well, he is back online once again!

Well, mon ami, I can now truly answer than age old question: "If you were stranded on a desert island with no hope of rescue, what CDs would you like to listen to?" Well, my friends, Maurese can tell you truly that what he would like to listen to is some of his Édith Piaff CDs. But, of course, they are back at home in France and Morricse had not yet gotten around to copying them with iTunes! With me I have only my collection of Heavy Death Metal Rock Music. Not quite the same, mes amis, not quite the same.

Nearly, but not quite.

WiFi woes

Greetings, mon amis. I am writing this on a small desert island, presumably somewhere in the Pacific. The plane I was in experienced engine difficulties and came down somewhere in the middle of the sea. Apparently this, it is not so uncommon for Elast Ickband Air. But luckily Maaurice had packed his parachute in his carry on luggage, and was able to escape the plane before it burst into flames and then explodinated!

I quickly found that if I sit on top of this palm tree, and use a high gain antenna that Murrcie just happended to have with him, Murroce can just pick up a WiFi signal on his laptop. It's also lucky this desert island has power points hidden between the marram grass tussocks on the dune. WiFi signal is wery weak, mes amis, so not certain when I will get disconne