Marooned!

I think, my friends, the most important question is: why is it "marooned"? Why not some other colour? Reded? Blueed? Purpled? Greened? This is the question that has been going round and round in Maurisssssse's head since he was Marooned on this deserted island late last month.

But, mes amis, you deserve a more thorugh account of Mowrice's trials. So I will start at the beggining, and start there to tell you about how I came to be alone on this desert island, all alone.

It started on Saturday 27th October, when I left my home near Armidale, France to fly to my other home near Paris, Australia. Naturally, I flew with the airline Elast Ickband Air the world's number 900 airline as I hoped this company, it would be very good. Alas, mes amis, they were not.

At first, the flight it was going well. Mowrrhyse had managed to get into the First Class without anyone noticing that his ticket it was really Cattle Class. Murrrace had a book launch to look forward to when he arrived in Australia, the launch of his new messterpiece Escaping Paradox: A New Methodology in Neolithic Spaceship Construction. Alas, this launch, I was never to see how well it went. Events started to conspire against Morrice about an hour into the flight.

First, a flight attendant noticed that Morrhyse, he was not ment to be in First Class. Naturally, when I was told that Mawrrhyse could not in First Class remain but must to Cattle Class go, I reacted with the calmness and composure for which Mawryße is famous. I tried to explain my case rationally, but maybe Mowryse he got overexcited. Even so, the stewardess she should not have made so much fuss over a small injury inflicted where Morrice bit her, and only about three rows of chairs were damaged beyond repair. 

Well, mes amis, from then on I was in Cattle Class. I do not know at what time it was, but then the plane started developing engine problems. Mawrice, he noticed that both engines were on fire. Soon, the fire it spread to the main body of the plane. This would seem like an insoluble problem but, remember, Morrice is a genius! And no problem is insoluble for a genius like Mawryse. So Maurrice got down his hand luggage and pulled out his snakeskin-patterned parachute, and put it on. He then opened the door and he jumped out.

I then landed in the sea somewhere, and looked up only to see the plane explodinate in a fireball. Mes amis, Maurrice was veyr happy that he was not on that plane any more.

After a day drifting in the sea, Mahryse drifted up on this island. Luckilly Maurrhyse had food in his bag so could still eat. Also, the island has plentiful wild food. Yesterday, Mowrryse hunted and caught some wild tinned confit de canard, and was also able to trap some pâté de fois gras that fell into his trap. Also, he can get a weak WiFi signal from some distant access point. Also, he found that there are power points between the clumps of marram grass - no need to worry about the battery of the laptop becoming deadinated!

So, here I wait, hoping someone will rescue Morryse one day...