Muarises' capture by teh FEINDISH rosicriciuans

MES AMIS ..... teh past few months ahve been WERY adwenturous for Mjerise. In Septembre, he wisited Nürëmböürg & tehre found mutch sekrit Templar evidence, especially in teh ccatecombes hidden under teh city. ALAS he actually got lost & it took him many daeys to find his way= out but Moarise is a geynius & so fir him nothing is implossible so ewentually he it managed . (by following teh GREEN EXIT SIGNS whod ahve guessed tehy led to teh exit? A foolish miscualculation by teh templars!) .

Unfrotunately on his whey back to PARRHIS he was accosted by a group of thugs in chainmail he know nows were teh ROSICRUSCIANS! Clearly tehy were unaware of Muares's arangement wiht the Templars, & were aiming to Stop Him From Doing His Waluable Work!

Muarrise was bundled into teh back of a large black Mercedes=Benz S65 AMG (Muerise is pleased taht his abductors ahd such an impressive car --- he will ahve to get one himslef now!!?!2!??). After a few houres driving (wiht Merise bundled into teh back wiht a sack over his head === NOT FITING TRAETMENT FOR A GEYNIUS ==== he tried to complain & said taht he would promise to forget where tehy were but he was ignorinated) .

Ewentually we arrived at a partly ruined castel somewhere in teh countryisde. Merise was roughly shoved into his cell. LUCKILY tehy forgot to remove Mierrise""s possesisons so he still had his phone, laptop, & all teh TEMPLAr manuscripts he seized. After a few days fiddling , he managed to get teh camerera on his cellular phone IPHONE phone to work & snap tihs photo:

MUERISES CELL

A PHOTO

BY MORRROSE

EH BIEN. IT quite rough & uncomfortable is , & not fiting of a geynius. Luckily Merrose found a matresses & blankets hidden away ...also a desk & chair ... so he work on his GRANDE work was abel to do,.

After a few weeks of tihs DEPREVWATUION (only four meals a day .... mostly game, wiht perfectly aged 1st growth Bordeaux, and a tasteful selection of cheeses & a glass of armagnac to follow ... and a banquet evwery other week) Mueerrise could bear it no more & so escaped in late nowember. He tehn boughted himslef an impressive OLD VW BEETEL whitch had had a VW PORSCHE ENGINE into it put for taht bit of unexpected acceleration if he had to from teh ROSICRUCISNANS ONCE MORE ESCAPINATE. But luckily his trip back to PARRIS  from Königsbrunn (where in captivity was) was unewentful, and only took about a month.

MERRISE IS A GEYNIUS NAWIGATIOR SO YOU SHOULD ALL

TAKE NOTE OF HIS ROUTE FROM KONNÏGSBRUN TO PARRRESE

AND COPY ITS AMAZING NAWIGATIONAL ABILITYS

IT CLEARLY TEH SHORTREST MOST EFFISHENT ROUTE IS>

When Merrise arrived in Parrrise teh many cityzens had been mising him for too long & teh excitement for his return had reached fever pitcgh!!! Tehre ment to be a GRAND WELCOMING HOME PRECESSION was but unfrotunately it had to be cancelled at teh last minute due to ....... sunspots ..... yes, tahts right ..... due to sunspot actiwity. (sounds conwincing>????). so Muarrroçe snuck in INCOGNITO.

BUT AT LEAST HE"S BACK IN PARRIS

House hunting.

House hunting has proved to be far more tricky than previously anticipated.

To put it boldly, there are no large 19th century grand homesteads going wanting in the Armidale vicinity. This is most peculiar. It is most annoying.

Of course, I quickly figured that there was only one potential solution: travel back in time to 1829, build a homestead, get tenants to mind it for the next 184 years, and then travel back to the present day and claim my mansion.

Of course, even this wasn't as simple as it should be. The first few places I built were demolished in the '70s, or burnt down, or just fell down. (Drat.)

This might lead to some ... interesting ... insurance claims for me over the next few months, but anyway.

The important point is that I now have always owned a 19th century homestead just outside of Armidale. I'll move back in next week.

Till then ... Adios!

From the desk of Mycroft de Perfossor AC.

HI FOLKS.

Not Maurice here. It's Mycroft.

I write this on the road. That's right, folks, I'm leaving Canberra and heading back to Armidale. I have an arrangement with the university there (l'Université de la Nouvelle-Angleterre) that I can teach part time, and spend the rest of the time in France where I have managed to let Maurice give me the use of his Pauillac chateau. Hehehe.

Well, I guess it was inevitable with the change in Government that there'd be changes at the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, and it just so happened that I was one of them. However, my departure was not at all forced, and entirely apolitical. (I am always entirely apolitical). I came to an understanding with the new PM, with whom I get along marvelously. I have every faith in his ability to do the job just as well as I imagined he would.

The arrangement allowed me to retire on my own terms, rather than being given "the shove". In return, I agreed to refrain from stapling the PM's tie to his desk. A classic win-win scenario. I do now have every paperclip that used to belong to the department in my possession at this stage, though.

Anyway, the house is being packed -- I loaded a few essentials into the Jag -- and will be house hunting when I get to Armidale. I'm looking for something just out of town. Modest -- no more than ten bedrooms, and eleven acres of grounds. I'd like a cellar. I'd prefer an older house -- is something 19th century too much to ask for? Maybe something Arts & Crafts? We'll see.

Eh, I have a long way to go. I want to get to Armidale this evening, and I'm still in Muswellbrook, so I should go.

Oh yes, Maurice. Haven't heard from him lately, eh? I'm almost starting to worry. I tried to call him a few days ago (normally I'd do anything to avoid talking to him on the 'phone) and no answer. Where could he be? I guess that, despite his agreement with the Templars, he must have had a run in with some other secret society. Bound to happen, eventually. I'd do something, but ... eh ... I'm retired now, folks.

Best finish this coffee, put some more diesel in the Jag, and head off...

Nürëmbërg

MES AMIS Murhuse is in Nürëmbërg at an un-disclosed location (Bergstraße 5, 90403 Nürnberg, Deutschland) to inwestigatinate teh Templars & Rosicrucians tehre. TAHT"S RIGHT MES AMIS .... tehre's templars in Nürëmbërg. Nürëmbërg is teh last place taht Moariçe would ahve expected templars or sekrit societies but Àglei sed taht tehy were here, and ... eh bien ... it was so.(NONETHELESS MORROSE IS STILL THE GRATER GEYNIUS).

Muarrose has been in Nürëmbërg since he left Quebec for Berlin (28/th./AUGUST), & teh drove to Nürëmbërg (unbelievably teh B.M.W.Corporation didn"t recognised teh grate geynius of Muarrose & wouldnt give him a free B.M.W.autocar! He had to break into teh factory at midnigght to get a free B.M.W.autocar, even though its his due as a grate geynius!!1!!?!????1???@)

Eh bien. Maeryse has founded out taht Nürëmbërg it has many sekrit underground tunnels * & he has tehm been inwestigatinating ... throught teh many sekrit passageways , & cellars & sekrit Templar & Rosicrucian complexes under teh ground. Teh TEMPLARS even ahve a sekrit canteen in teihr sekrit undergound base .... complete wiht dinner ladies & trays & a buffet salad bar. Mwerrose ahs had lunch tehre many thymes. Teh bratwurst is quite good.

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Mearose has once again spent thyme hiding in sekrit Templar bored-rooms whilst sekrit Templar meeting s take places & has evwen recorded tehm (one of teh Templar conspirators helpfully showed Muorrose how to record a wideo on his IPHONE 5S). He has spent hours rummaging throught teh libraries & looking behind teh sofa in teh staffroom (tihs is wehre you find all teh good stuff mes amis ....... not just anceint sekrit documents BUT ALSO several humbugs, a hankercheif, and €11,50 in small change!!!!!!1!).

Moarise is mutch excitinated wiht teh work he is doingk here .... but he is only staying here another few days. Teh week aftrer next he must go to Frnance to meet up wiht Agléy. He will post more infromation HERE> so dont froget to KEEP RAEADING MES AMIS>.

Muerises drive to CANADA

Muariose is an EXPERT NAWIGATOR so he thoughted taht peoples might enjoy & learn from teh wery clever & efficient route he worked out from NEW YORK CITY to QUEBEC CITY:

Templars in New York City, New Yorke State *(USA).

Mes amis .... Merise is back & inwestigatinating Templar conspiracies! He"d hate to disapoint tehm after all, tehy were so keen for him to resume. In fact, tehy have been leaving helpful incrimiating clues all over teh place recently just to ensure taht Maorise doesn"t miss anything & doesn"t bored get. HOW CONSIDERATE.

Anyway, evwen though his associate & fellow inwestigator Agley is currently on holiday in Antigua, Mearowse carries on wiht his inwestigations. Recently his inwestigations lead him from Buenose Aires to Snan Fran Cisco to New Yoerk city. Tahts right mes amis -- teh New York City in teh Untied SStats of Amrica! (Not teh one in Belgium).

Merwçe managed to find out taht teh Templars ahve a sekrit hideaway rite under teh city, rite under Grand Central Station in fact! Muorose found teh Entrance to tehse Dread Caverns & teihr inner dark sekrits explorinated!!!!

Muerise OF COARSE had his iPHONE & teh batery wasnt dead & he has recently figured out how to use teh camera on this marwellous dewice (ITS FIENDISGHLY DIFFICULT BUT LUCKILY MEROISE IS A GEYNIUS SO HE IT WORKED OUT EWENTUALLY).

Meurise stumbles across a procession of Templars 

& manages to take an iPHONE pic before hiding 

An antichamber in teh catecombes. 

Muerwose of course has much more photos than just these but of cuorse he cant them all share here. He also managed to stumble across teihr sekrit Templar library (fiendishly hidden behind a sign saying "LIBRARY") which Mueriose managed to find even though it wery sekrit & hidden is by following teh signs marked "LIBRARY TIHS WAY".

Meurise quickly raced trhough teh library before he was detected & managed to find some wery waluable & sekrit Templar volumes which explain teihr organisation & its evil plans in much detail,. Meurise tried to smuggle tehm out of teh library but a librarian told him off & made him get a library card & take them out "liek a normal library user"(!!?!!@1!!)/ Muaerise was of course much nervous as he was worried taht teh Templars would race in & find Moaerrioce but luckily teh didnt.

Ladden down wiht such rare Manuscripts, Mearuise tehn made his way towards teh Grand Central Hall & found a crack in teh wall through witch he was abel to observinate most of a sekrit Templar ceremony before he had to leave becuaese Moerise his stoumach was starting to Grumble & also he a reserwation at teh {"PER SE": restorant .

Merise at this restorant enjoyinated a magnifique 8 course meal wiht many bottels of whine &* tehn he decided he should write an account of his adwenture so he brushed all teh leftover plates & glasses & cuttelry & candlesticks onto teh ground, whipped out his MACBOOK & started typinating.

OH NOES TEH MAIRTRE D'HOTEL IS SHOUTING AT MERISE & WORNGLY CLAIMING HE SHOULDNT HAVE BRUSHED EVERYTIHNG OFF ONTO TEH FLOOR. Stupid nongeynius Maitre-'d-hotel. Moarise is a geynius & thus can do wahtever he wants.

Eh bien. Moerise knew he was sitting on sutch explosively exciting Material taht he should leave new york city before he it published. SO, pursued by teh Maitre'd'hotel, teh chef, teh sommelier and several waiters, Merrise made rapidly for the door & headed to his hotel, not even stopping to pay teh bill. He then proceeded to a car daelership & boughted a DODGE CHALENGER with (6.4 L) V8 engine & 6 speed manuel gearbox -- FAST ENOUGH TO OUTPACE EVWEN TEH MOST DETERMINED TEMPLAR. Luckily Merise managed to awoid paying for tihs too,.

Teh he drovinated to Quêbec City, Canada, not dropping in speed below 120 mph teh whole way. Witch currently is presently where he now is right now at teh moment./

Teh fine whines of BODEGA DE MUARISE

Mes amis ... Muarise has been planninating a wobleg post for teh past few weeks but alas he has been wery BUSY. Unfrotunately teh TEMPLAR CONSPIRACY INWESTIGATION has kept him wery busy, though inwestigating it is much exciting. And teh Templars are now kindly more thoughtful about leaving lots of interwesting & incriminating clues for Muorise to find, witch is thoughtful of tehm. Mjerise is currently in San Fran Cisco, chasing down some leeds here. But about taht more he cannot say YET, as it still sekrit is.

Eh , bien , taht not teh point is. The point is taht whilst he was in Argentinaniananina Morose got to try teh first (1er) of teh Argentineian wintage of BODEGA MUARISE. Merose wants to you about it here tell.

SO, TEH WHINES, + prices, + release dates:

2013 Bodega de Morrise "Le Grand Genie" Blanc. 60% Sémillon, 25% Sauvignon blanc, 5% chardonneigh. A fine whine inspirinated by teh grate white whines of Boredeaux, but with 5% chardoney added (either for complexiexity, or because teh whinemaker contracted a brain disease,. Mourise is not shure witch). 728.8% new oak. Released: 01/01/2014. €125.00/bottel
2013 Bodega de Mueraese Chardonneigh Reserve. A fine chardonnay inspired by teh gratest white whiens of Burgundy, witch are some of Merroses' favorites. Muerise insisted on 30,000% new oak, which teh winemaker said was impiossible. But Muarise proved tehm wrong again! Released: 01/01/2014. €65/bottel.
2013 Bodega de Mjeorwse Chardonay de Templar. An everyday drinking chardonay tahts perfect to drink whilst dreaming up diabolical plots for world domination. 36.77777891% new oak. Released: 01/09/2013. €25/bottel
2013 Bodega de Muarise Torrontés.Tihs grape is popular in Argentina & teh estate manager leiks it. Released: 01/09/2013/ €25/ bottele

2013 Bodega de Muriese "Le Grand Genie" Rouge. 50% Cabernet sauvignone, 25% Merlot, 20% Cabernet Franc, 15% Petit Verdot, 10% Malbec. A fine red whine inspired by teh grate red whines of Boredeaux, which Merise adores. Inspired by teh grate geynius of Meoorose. 15,000% new oak. Released: 01/01/2015. €150/bottle.
2013 Bodega de Morruse Pinot Noir Reserve. A fine Pinot Noir inspried by teh grate red whines of Burgundy, whitch Merise also adorinates. 800% new oak. Released: 01/01/2015. €75 / bottel
2013 Bodega de Mueroce Pinot Noir de Templar. An "every day " pinto noir, taht is perfect for drinking whilst dreaming up evil plots for world domination. 25.444% new oak.Released: 01/01/2014. €30 / bottel.
2013 Bodega de Muarise Malbec. A lovely whine inspired by ... uh ... Merise cant rember. ANYWAY TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. teh point is its good. Released: 01/01/2014. € 30 / bottle.

GET YOUR ORDERS IN NOW! JUST clickinate here -->       <--- to order, or ring Meries'es Argentinina estate on wahtever teh phone number tehre is.

Muerise would stay & rite more but he is being persued by a crazed Templar monk . Tihis is not good. Agley is nerwous & keeps telling Moerise to "Hurry UP" as if his geynius wobleg posts could be hurried up. OOOPS teh monk is breaking teh door down now, must run away. Diabolical schemes to uncoverinate, mes amis!!!!!!

Muarises morning tea with teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTER!!1!?!

MES AMIS ,..... Merise ahs been mutch slack becuase he has been ejoyinating resting & relaxing at his estancia in sunny Argenitneintininian./ia. NONETHELESS he rembers he has pormised his faithful followers TWO (2) wobleg posts. (1) About his meeting wiht teh Templar Grand Master; & (2) About his Argentineian wines!

EH BIEN. Here is (1).

Meurise had decidinated taht he was getting Bored of teh Templars, & of his associate Aglíe, & so abruptly he abruptly wihtout telling anyone abruptly Bordeaux abruptly left abruptly. He flew his hairyplane to Eoster Island, fully intendinating to continue his study of non-Templar stuff, of which he has done mutch in teh past (Merryuse ISNT a mono-maniac!). Eh bien, as detailed in his prewious wobleg both teh Templars & Agleý to Eoster Island him followed,. so he escaped again by quite abruptly to Argentina abruptly flying abruptly. Agley to Argentinina didnt him follow ... BUT TEH TEMPLARS APRRARNTLY DID.

Eh bien, so after Merise was in Buenos Aires a few days, even though he went to lot's of truble to obscure his location, teh Templars him tracked down. At 1st he them tried to ignorinate, but tehn he got a tellyphone call from teh Templar Grand Master inwiting him for mornign thé! Teh Templar Grand Master!!!!!1!!?! Of course, this, Mourwse he could NOT ignorinate.

SO teh next morning Màhjerose he went to teh cafe where teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTER HAD ARRANGED TO MEET HIM(!!!!!?!11!!!!!). Teh Grand Master after a few mintues turned up, whiht a few sekretive Templar security guards/soldiers. Mwerise ordered a grande double chocolate double coffee frappelatecino wiht hazerlnut syrup, chocolate chips, triple cream, and lizard syrup (wery sophisticated, and just like Paris!!!1!), and teh Templar Grand Master had a wery unsophisticated Earl Grey thé (and looked disapprovingly at Merise's tres sophisticated frrapelatecino!).

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is, taht, teh Templar Grand Master said taht the Templars were getting bored without Merise inwestigatinating tehm,! Tehy had nothing to do wihtout Muairsoe constantly trying to foil their plans, and they were getting wery bored! Evil plan after evil plan just worked as planned, and it apparently tehm to distraction was driving! SO, they werry poleitly asked Mèriuse if he would get back on teh case of frustrating teihr evil plots, as they find taht mutch more fun , as they tehn constantly ahve to "be on their toes"(??????).

Muèriśe agreeinated to this, of course (secretly he was quite flattered, partiuclarly taht teh Templar Grand Master had taken teh time to wisit Merise personally!) but of cuorse Merise didn"t admittinate to tihs. He made it look as if he were reluctant, & had to be persuadinated, witch teh Templars did. ALSO Merise said he wanted a week or so"s brake at his estancia before he gets back to inwestigatinating & thwartinating teh Templars. WITCH IS WHAT HE IS DOING RITE NOW. (Teh weeks rest, taht is).

Eh bien. Merise has pormised a wobleg post about his NEW ARGENTINEIENE WHINES & he will taht right soon,. including details of where to it buyinate. FOR NOW he can just say teh 2013 Bodega Muarise "Le Grand Genie" Rouge (45%% Cabernet sauvignong, 25%% Merlot, 20% Cabernet Franc, 5%%% Petit Verdot) is magnifique !!

Meueris in Buenos Aires

Mes amis .... after anohter week of dodging templars who are still interested in Mérise even thuogh he has maide it quite clear taht he isn't no longer interestinated in tehm .... Muarise ahs moved on to an undisclosed location (I.E. his apratment in Buenose Aires) to avoidinate tehm. Its' raelly quite annoying. Wahts a geynius to do>>?????

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. The point is taht

• (a) Mùrise ahs momentarily got bored of teh Templars & is taking a braek from taht, so he can concentrate on some of his other research interests (INCLUDING, but NOT LTD TO, Roman Film & TV, Eoster Island Statues, Neolithic Spacecraft ...!!!). He will back to teh Templars (& to his freind Aglié de St.Germaine) get back in thyme. BUT not for a littel bit. 
• (b) Muerise is in Argentina once again & is enjoyinating it. He even got to practice his SpainisH! He was so fluent evwen the locals could'nt understandinate him! ""Bir kahve, garson lütfen!"" he said, & teh locals were so impressed taht tehy couldnt speak & Just laughed wiht Merise at how good he was.

Muẁerse is this week enjoyinating ahving a week wiht NO TEMPLAR RELATED WORK & tehn next week he will fly, drive or bycycle up to his estancia & inspect taht & see how teh wineyard tehre is going & also look at his live-stock & Maek sure mon ami teh Manager is a good job doing. BUT NOT THIS WEEK>  This waek is a week for Merise to inwestigate Buenos Aires... ooops disregard taht Mörise forgotted he was ment to be keeping quiet about his exact location to shake teh templars of teh track ... ok ... to inwestigat teh city in withc he currently happens to be, assunming he is in a city because he may be in a wilderness area, or a countryside farming area, or even in a small boat in teh middel of teh ocean!!! TEHRES NO WAY OF KNOWING, AS HE WILL NOT SAY!!!!!!!1!! . Tehre, taht should shake teh Templars off Moeruse's trail & hopefully tehy wont figure out taht hes in Buenos Aires.

A bientot!

Mwurise on EOSTER ISLAND

MES AMIS ... those of you who ahve been followinating Meuriçe (IE MOI) on twitter or facebooke will raelise taht he was getting REALLY REALY FED UP WIHT STUPID NON GEYNIUS AGELEY & TEH WAY HE KEPT GOING ON & ON & ON ABOUT TEH TEMPLARS EVWEN THOUGH MIUROSE WAS BORED OF THEM. Tahts right, Meurise has HAD ENOUGH of templars & wants to study something else for a few months. Maybe he mite go back to studying teh Templars if tehyre nice to him & are wery poleit.

Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is taht on teh 12rd Juine Moerise devised a cunning plan taht only a geynius of Mueurrhises' stuture could ahve deviseinated. HE planned to get in his hairyplane & to Eostre Island flyinate wihtout stopping & once he was there to do some exciting raesearch into teh Eoster island statues & teh amazing ciwilisation taht built tehm .... teh Aztecs!

Meurise of course started on this improtatnt work, witch carried on from an earlier study he dided of this, and he managed to translatinate sevral more inscriptions from teh original Occitan (teh language of teh Aztecian Incas who lived on Eoster Island!!!) .... on withc he will blog more soon.

Of courose a STUPID templar turned up & tried to sell Meoiruise a suitcase full of templar sekrits & since Morose did"nt want to be interupted by templar rubish Mawrhuise he said NO. And then to late raelised taht this was a mis-take (see, even a geynius as grate as Mouroße somethymes makes mistaeks!!! less tahn once/year though) but by tehn it was Too Late.

Of course, even Agley had to turn up ewentually, cliaming it was a ":COINCEDENCE" & he just wanted to wisit teh Eostrer Island. HE claims taht teh Templars builted teh statues here BUT WAHT WOULD TEH NONGEYNIUS KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY Meorise will now try to escapinate Agley again ... he is loading his plane at 2 A.M. tihs morning & flying away to Argentina. He WILL escape Aglié again !!! ... !!!

Mjerise in BOREDEAUX pt 2.

Muerise wanted to tell you all abuot taht chic littel chateau taht he himself boughted in Paulliac.

1st teh "WITAL STATISTICS:"

• built in 1792
• 230 rooms
• 150 bed rooms
• 3 librarys
• grand dining room can seatinate 300
• kitchens ahve a range big enough to cook for 450
• 15 acres of formal grardens
• 20 acres of wineyard (POUR LE ROUGE (AOC PAUILLAIC), 18 acres -- 75 % Cabernet Sauvignon; 5 % Merlot; 5% Petit Verdot; 5% Cabernet Franc; POUR EL BLANC (AOC BOREDAUX) 2 acres -- 60 % Semillon; 30 % Suavignon; 10 % Muscadelle)
• a "chai' (Whinery) wiht lots of barels & destemmers & other stuff whitch Agley understands but Merise doesnt (it is too trivial for the attention of a geynius anywhey!@)

See .... ? It much magnifique is. Muerise will callinate it "Chateau Muarise de Paulliac.": And he knows it is good. He teh last few weeks has spent explorinating teh chateau, walking through teh many acres of formal gardenm, the many miles of corridors & esxquisite formal rooms in teh chateua, & teh many many cellars under teh chateau.

Merise hates to boast but it a bargain for €340,211,965.95 was!!!! Money well spent. Especially as Merise charged it to teh TEMPLARS!!!!!! Mais oui, Merise did not himslef pay for it. It is payed for by teh TEMPLARS. Tehy will be annoyed if tehy notice tihs 'anomaly' on tehir accounts.

Eh bien, Merise cares not. He an exciting thyme is having. All of the past few weeks, trucks ahve been arrivinating with antique furniture, old master paintings & antiquarian esoteric books for to furnish tihs unique hide-away so taht it fit for a geynius is. & Merise has seen it & seen taht it is good.

He has also taken some thyme to meet his neightbours in neighbouring chateaux but tehy are not geyniuses & unaccountably are mostly french. Mérise thoughted that most boredeaux chateau were owned by English, Belgian & Chinese merchants! Eh bien, it is not so.

Still, Merise now needs to appoint a gardener & a whinemaker. He wonders wherre he will find a whinemaker in Boredeaux. Cannot be many locally!!!!!

OH YES & Merise & Agley are still off battling templars. Aglie is starting to REALLY GET ON MERISES NERVES especialy teh way he keeps patting down his jacket to keep it all nice & perfect and wrinkle free, and teh way he keeps looking at his fob watch, and his rediculous littel agate ring but of cuorse Merise is a geynius & can take tehse littel provocations in his stride. Eh .... .... Merise ahs  forgotted teh point. OH YES, his chateau is chic. Taht is all.

PAULLIAC!!!1!

MES AMIS .... as yuo mighth ahve gatthered, Meriçe he is currently in Bordeaux, more spesificially in teh willage of Pauillaic just outside Boredeau. It a pretty willage is wiht much whineries near by . Actually Muarise liked it so mutch taht he decided to buyinate a chateau here but thats getting to far ahead & he will about taht talk later.

ANMYWAY teh point is taht Muarise is in Boredeau wiht his ... associate & sort of freind Aglie & they together huntinating Templars ahave been,. particularalry in teh whineries. INTERESTINGLY Meuarise & Agley ahve found many templar linked whineries eg. Chateau Gazin was founded by teh Knights of Saint-Jean of Jerusalem, Rhodes and Malta (A WELL KNOWN TEMPLAR FRONT). ALSO Chateâu lagrange has wery well known links wiht teh templars, & their's even a CHATÊAU TEMPLAR NEARBY. HOW OBWIOUS IS TAHT???????!!?! EH????

Perhaps it s too obvious ... a ruse ... a distractoin ....... or maybe theyre playing mindgames wiht Muise & are HIDING IN PLANE SITE just where Mourise wuolndt expectinate tehm to be. SO CONFUSING!

ALSO Muaerise is shure taht Aglèi is up to no good again. He stoled Mjerwes's Mobile Telyphone earlier & Maerise is shure he did someihting to it. May be he installed a listening dewice, or read through Merises text mesages (SMS) some of witch contain sesnsivite infromation about Morroses improtant research .... Mwrwse knows not yet BUT HE WILL FINDINATE OUT.

EH BIEN. Muarise was going to tell you about teh chateau he boughted but now he cant be bothered , he has to go check through his phone call recordes again to check Agleiy hasnt been tampering wiht his
  IPHONE again.

TEH SEKRIT PROTOTYPE   IPHONE 7S TAHT MERISE IS NOW USING 

WITCH HE WAS SENT BY HIS OLD AMI M. STEPHAN JOBS.

ITS WERY SEKRIT SO MERISE CANT EVEN TELL YOU OF ITS

EXISTENCE LET ALONE POST PICSTURES.

SO OF CUORSE MEREISE WONT THIS DO.

Guest post from MYCROFT.

Bonjour tout le monde! Mycroft here.

Yes, I know I've been neglecting posting here. Naughty Mycroft. Busy at work. Of course. Always. Especially now there's an election in a few months. Not that it should be my concern. Strictly apolitical  me. Absolutely. At least, that's what I tell people. Some of them even believe me.

Anyhow, that, as Maurice would say, is not the point. Maurice is off galavanting around in Bordeaux (or Boredeau as he insists on spelling it = Bored water?). I hear he's even bought himself another Château. I should be horrified. I should. But somehow I'll manage to make it my new holiday home. I need a break from Canberra. After the election .... !

I've decided to break my veil of secrecy a little and tell you something about my house. A modest place, of course, can't be seen to be wasting tax payer's money.

This picture shows exactly what my house doesn't look like.

Pity. Perhaps when I retire?

I have a house just outside Canberra. I was lucky enough to get one of the earlier buildings in the area. The house was built in 1713, is a modest two story country house. One of the highlights is the cellar, a multi-roomed, multi-floored affair which gives acres of room to store my fine wine collection in perfect conditions! Latour, Haut Brion, Mouton Rothschild, Yquem... yes, and Burgundy, especially DRC ... I have a fondness for Romanée-Conti, and for Grands-Echezeaux. Lots of different vintages, even a few precious bottles of 1811 Yquem.

Okay, okay, I'm pulling your leg. There's no houses in or near Canberra dating from 1713 ... No European settlement here till the 19th century. But I do have a cellar. And a few bottles of 1811 Yquem.

I work for the Government. It's important work. Very. So of course that's all I can say. Sorry, nothing to see here. Move along now please.

Ahem. It does allow me to travel a bit, though. Hence being able to build up such a good wine cellar. Hence my small collection of 18th century watercolour paintings. Hence my modest library, with books dating back to 1631. 

I'd move to Maurice's "Boredeau" château in a heartbeat though. And he'll just forget about it. Perhaps when I retire? He won't remember it then. Lucky if he remembers it a week after he's left for one of his other houses ...

Oh well. Enough. Phone's ringing. It's the Boss. Another government crisis, no doubt...

ADELAIDE!!!

MES AMIS ... Muariçe is still in Adelaide!!! He knows, it quite unusual is for him to stay in 1 plaice for so long ... he been here since early february has been .... most odd!

AND YET he has his thyme in Adelaïde mutch enjoyed. He enjoyinated wisiting teh WINERIES (teh ones taht arent evwil sekret TEMPLAR fronts taht is) & has enjoyed parading on Adelaídes wide & Sunny buolevards & sitting in teh many cafes engaged in stimulating intellectual discussion wiht agley & his nongeynius brohter mycroft

AND YET murise has finally got bored of Adelaide because he does not in one place like to be for sutch a long thyme. CUORSE all good things must to an end come & SO it is taht Moerose is decided to fly to Bordeaux wery, wery soon. To-morrow he will start Loadinating his hairyplane for teh flight, and tehn on teh 10th April (Whenever taht is, perhaps on 10/04/13? 11/04/13? 04/10/13?) he will to Boredeau flyinate wiht Aglié as his passenger (what a priveldge to be flowned by such a geynius pilot as MERISE!!!).

BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT ... teh point is tath Merise has much good thyme in Adelaied had & has many interesting tihngs about teh templars founded ... yets tahts right theyre wery active in Adëlaide  ........ no Merose cant more here say, not until hes safely out of Ädelaide & away from teihr evil machinations.

EH BIEN. It is so, Mes amis. Merise & Aglie must bid fond farewell to Adelaide, and Merise will shut up his charming littel AdelaidheHills hosue until sutch thyme as he back here is .... witch wont be long ,, mes amis, fear you not,,, definately later in teh year ,,,, Maybe  Augugst, DEcembre at teh latest, maybe!

AGLEY IN ADELAIDE.

IT SEEMS taht wererever your hero (Mwerise) finds himslef, he will quickly bump into his associate/colleague/ex-freind Aglie. Even in his new hosue in Adelaïde, Australie. Except of cuorse tihs isnt an accident/Co-incidence, it wery meticulously planninated was.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Aglíe is over here to help Muerise search for Templars in Adelaide. As Muerise has discussinated prewiously, on a prewious short wisit to Adelaide he found much ewidence of Templars in Adelaide, but was arrestinated before he cuold a PROPER inwestigation make. Well, taht will NOT happen again. NO SIR.

Agley has helped Muerise to infiltrate teh MASONS SEKRIT HEAD-QUARTERS which teh have sekretly located on a large building on North Terrace in teh CBD which secretly has their name secreitly written over it in wery big writing. Murise has joined him (in cunning disguise of cuorse) to liszten in to tehir cunnuing plans to steal teh sangreal ( its currently in teh SA MUSEUM ) , and how tehy can seize control of teh country ( NEVER FEAR MOERISE WONT LET TEHM ). Tehy have some particularly feindish plans inwolving sekrit messages written on watercrackers taht Mjuarice wishes he cuold tell you more about BUT HE CANT.

Eh bien. Muerise has forgotten teh point. AH YES, TEH POINT IS TAHT MURISE IS MARVELOUS & IS ACTIVELY SAVING TEH WORLD FROM TEH TEMPLARS. Yes, taht was it. YES.

IN WICH a certain non-geynius brohter of the author wisits Adelaide

Mes amis... Maurise is wery pleased to report taht his brohter Mycroft is wisiting Moerise in Adelaïde for teh LONG WEEK END. Peeple who follow Muerise on twiter may raelise taht Mjerise was tihnking of drivinating to Sidney for teh long week end but those plans all changed when, amaxingly, wondefully, his brohter who Muairoçe hasnt seen for so long turned up un anounced at Merises door!

Stupid nongeynius brohter. He shuold have ranged first.,

Eh bien,, taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Morose is much pleased to see his brohter, who he lieks wery much even though his brother is often annoying & definately teh intelectual inferior to Muiarése -- but tehn it has to be rembered that Moerise is teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever, so Mairise must conceed that probabbly Mycroft cant help taht.

Eh bien, Once Morise has clicked PUBLISHINATE on tihs wobleg post he & his brohter will go to a restorant for lunch. Maybe somewhere taht has BYO WINE so taht Merise can take tihs bottel of CH. LATOUR 1982 he has here. Or maybe he can just go to a good restorant and trust teh STUPID NONGEYNIUS WHINE LIST taht they have. Hm...

Eh bien, Mierose shuold also say taht he has finally got rided of taht stupid HONDA D'ACCORD he was borrowinating & finally got himslef a car befiting his GEYNIUS .... its a JAGULAR XF  & it mutch good is mes amis

MORE SOON MUST RUSH & HAVE LUNCH NOW MES AMIS !!!?@?!1!!#$!!

POST FROM ADELAÏDE

MES AMIS ... as people who follow Muerise on TWITTER will know, Muairise is currantly back in his homeland, Australie ... but NOT in his home town of Amridale, NSW, or in Sidney, NSW ... but in Adelaïde, Sud-Australie.

Tahts right mes amis, Merise has boughted a block of land in teh Adelaïde Hills on witch he plans to plant a wineyard . Rember, you read taht here FIRST. Er, no, actually, you raed it on TWITTER first. BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Teh point is taht Mworice has boughted a beautiful porperty near Lenswood taht has a beautiful old cottage and 15 acres of land, and wiht it he mutch pleased is. He employed a gardener has to manage his extensive new garden taht he will there createinate, and a wineyard manager to plant 10 acres of wineyard ... to pinot noir, chardonnay, sangiovese and syrah.

This sale, it took some days to do and mutch paperwork was inwolved withc of course is bellow teh level of a geynius sutch as Mérwce but alas he still ahs to it do. ANNOYINGLY, teh wendor actually insisted taht Merose paid for teh porperty. He can understand why a NORMAL NONGEYNIUS would ahve to pay ... but Moroçe! teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever! He wuold have thought teh vendor wuold have been so flattered dat he wouldnt ask for sometihng as trivial as muny!!?!?!11!!!@1!

Eh bien., Merise has enjoyed being in Adelaide. Teh fringe festiwal is on, though unacountably tehy forgot to inwite Mouroce to lead teh parade at teh opening ceremony. Obwiously a beaurocratic MIX-UP. Merise will ahve to them ring & complane. ALSO their sportycar raceycar carraces are on (VEIGHT) and tehy forgot to inwite Muarise to join in .... even though he a geynius dirver is ....,,., and can at 1,693.333mph drivinate!  But maybe tehy knew he wuold win EVERYTIHNG and worreid this would make their other dirvers look bad.

Muerises favurite trick is to drive at 10mph for teh first bit of teh race so every-one tihnks he will lose ... then speed up to 1,742.3333mph and WIN at teh last second!

Eh bien. He still enjoying ADELAIDE is despite tehse porblems. And he has a LOT of useful infromation about teh Templars from his trip to Germany wiht Agley ...................................................... but he cant say more about taht here. TOO SEKRIT., Only okay to discuss in private wiht fellow experts,, or in his next best-selling book..

IN GERMANY

Mes amis .... Mawrise is in Germany on wery sekrit business inwestigating teh Templars here, and so he about it mutch cannot say. Agley has even forbiden him to blog or tweeet! Not that Maurise will folow the orders of such a lesser mind.

Mwérise & Agley have been spying on & exploring a templar castel in southern germany for the past few weeks, and have many excited things found.

HERE ARE A FEW TAHT MAEROSE CAN DISCLOSE ALREADY:

• In Germany, they spaek German. WHO KNEW??? Mierose thuoght that German was only spoeken in Spain, & taht in Germany they spoke Greek. Unlike the Greeks, who speake Latvian. Whilst teh Latvians speak Spaininsh. So, all simples. But if teh Germans speak German, whatelse could this mean???
• Teh templars all insist of having on-suite bathrooms.
• Teh Templar meetings are wery long & tedious & are 86.7721% beaurocratic non-sense & 16.71277% sekrit templar conspiracys.
• Ancient sekrit templar manuscripts are mostly wery heavy, and rarely in English or French.

Eh bien. Moarise has much, much more of interest than that founded, but he cannot here discuss publically (email him for more sekrit details!). He is sad he cannot discuss the ancient sekrit templar objects of power that he has found. And Miaerose definately canot tell you about teh Templar plot to seize control of the world by putting m,ind control agents in digestive biscuits. Oh noes, mes amis, abuot those, NOT A WORD.

Happy New Yaer!~

Mes amis Mérise does not hear wish to go on abuot teh many presents he from his freinds, admierers & adwersaries got, even though some of them were wery exciting (Agley boughted Moarose a case of 1945 Château Latour, & Merose him bought a tie, made from geniune nylon!). NO mes amis it sounding like boasting would be. And Mírose is NOT one to boast. He wery, wery modest is.

Eh bien. The point is taht for teh new year Mierose is in his castel in La Mancha, Spain. Thats right, Merose has a castel in Spain. Witch he hasnt been to since Septembre 2009. Teh perils of ahving so many hosues, mes amis!! Eh bien, he there now is. And enjoying it mutch is.

He left NYC on teh New Years' Eve Eve (ie, 30th Decembre) and much sad was to leave it as it a nice town is. But tehn he mutch glad to in Spain be. Even though it also here wery cold is (-10°C mes amis .... wery cold in tihs old, stone castel .... Merise has all teh fires going evwery night, and its still cold, he might have to uproot his wineyard here to provide kindling! <- Just Moereis his little joke).

After mutch discussion wiht Agley over Xmas, Merise has finally decidinated to employ estate managers to look after his Wineyards, as he in Argentina is alraedy doing. Eh bien, it is so:

• In Castelli-di-Roma, teh Bordeaux student taht he in 2009 employed, Aglie;s freind M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton, who has now finished his studies & also now owns a cháteau in Saint-Êmilion ....
• In teh South of France, his freind M. Aubert Jayer-Joly
• In Spain, M. Émile Rolland-Dubourdieu, also a Boredeaux student & a freind of Agley & M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton.
• In Paris, NSW, Australia -- YES, Mierose is going to plant a wineyard here!!! -- M. James Gago-O'Shea <--- Moerise will abuot tihs a new wobleg post wery soon. Also abuot teh apratment he plans to buyinate in Tokyo ..... but tahts too mutch news for now!!!!1!#!?!!

Teh GOOD news is that M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton managed to save some of teh 2012 harvest in Merose is castelli-romani wineyard ,,,, and made  a start on bottling teh 2009 for saleing,. Watch for tehm at an off-licence near you wery soon mes amis.

Eh bien,. Merise ment to tell you about New Year in Spain. It so far much exciting has been! Even though he left Agley & Ratatoskr & Mycroft in New York, he not bored or alone has been, becuase Merose is never bored (except when nothing exciting hapens taht can stimulate his grate geynius). NO he has spent teh evening drinking "Brandy de Jerez Solera Gran Reserva", and singing Auld Lang Sang (in teh original Spainish) to a candelstick. It much exciting was! Mèrise tried to explain exactly how exciting it was to Ratatosrk over teh phone & Ratatoskr became so excitied he couldnt stop sniggering.

Eh bien. Tomorrow Merise goes to look at his Spainish wineyards (in withc he has Tempranillo, Garnacha, Merlot & Syrah POUR LE ROUGE, & Airén, Macabeo & Chardonnay POUR LE BLANC) & decidinate wiht his new estate manager EXACTLY waht wines he will here producinate. Tehn he will drivinate into town & buy some books abuot Templars taht he at the local BOOK-SHOP saw.

Also, though he pormised NO MORE NEWS, he MUST say taht 2013 will be teh first wintage of whine from his estate in Argentina ....

Also, he has a trip lined up to a Templar Castel in Germany for later tihs month wiht his .... associate ... Agley. MORE SOON.