The Long Juorney of Maeurose Part 1

Maerowse he thought you might like to see the route which Muarrhyse he took whilst he was lost. Luckily, Mirrhuse had a GPS tracking device in his bag, so was able to his route most magnifique recreate for the viewing pleasure of his audeience most devoted.

Eh bien, here it is mes amis:


Agrandir le plan

Stay tuned mes amis for future blog posts giving a full account of the long journey of Meurrhsye. Maybe he could even a book about it write! It could be calleed The Long Journey of Maurriçe.

À bientot,
Muaruise.

At home in Armidale, France

Maerowse, he once again is in his modest home most baeutiful near Armidale in northeast France. Mes amsi, here is a picture of this most beauautiful hose that Merriuse he has used on this wobleg before:


By Steve Jurvetson, on wikipedia

Well, mes amis, Muaryse he is much releived to be in his own hosue&home back again. Well, mes amsis, he now feels a rest he must have. Then he will to his house le South of FRance go back, and get started on his new Novel. 

Also, he will start preparing for his new unit he will be taeching called "HIS987 The Norse Gods and Oral Hygiene: A study of Dental Wash and Dental Floss Usage Before AD 1100". THis, it is based on matearial from Maeroshes book Teh Mouthwash of the gods which will of course the set text for the course be.

Enrole now, mes amis! It will be a course most magnifique, and mAeruhse he predicts that it will be oversubscribed wihtin seconds of being offered. SECONDS, mes amis!

More on his novel new later, mes amis....

Found at last!

MES AMIS!!!! Mawrise has just noticed that his new iphonE 3G, it has GPS! And maps! And GPS! And maps! Saved, Maerowse is saved!

Hmm... lets see, amis, where is Maerowse? Le IPHONE, it is just now getting a fix on le sattelitles so it can Mawurse tell where he is. Ah! There. Marrhose he is near Armidale in Northeast france. Sacre bleu! This cannot be! Maewrise when he went for his walk was at his chateau in the south of France!! How could he the whole of France have walked accross to get to Armidale without noticing?

Eh bien, Maeurroise he much releived is. It just a short walk to his home in Armidale, France is. Soon he will be home and dry, once again in his Armidael home which he loves wery much mes amis. And hopefully that dratted chameleon is nowhere nearby.

Inadaquate food

Mes amis, Meaerowse has been lost in the woods for he knows not how long, walking and walking hoping that he would his château most beautitufl again find eventually. But alas, it was not to be. Maurhise he has not his way home found. 

He has been eating blackberriess and mushrooms and acorns and believe me, mes amis, they are no substitues for the wonders Murrhuse his chef can whip up in le kitchen! Last night he was reduced to eating a caesar salad he found in a hollow log, wiht only blackforest gateau that he in a hollow tree trunk found for desert.

Also, Miuriçe thinks that he has the chameleon seen a couple of times. This is most distristressing, not good mes amis.

Eh bien, Muawruse is sure that he will home again get wery soon. Moiurse is a geynius, and for a GEYNIUS such as him NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!! NOTHING, mes amis!!!!!!

Lost!

Mes amis, Maurise he for a walk in the countryside around his chateau went four days ago. But alas, catastrophe most profound, he took a turning rwong on his way home and now he cannot his way home find. Also, he has just off a log fallen. it hurt, mes amis, and now Maerowçe he has mud all over him. This is not befitting the diginity of a geynius like Mouriße!!

Alll he knows now is that he is in some woods somewhere, and he for days has been walking. If you Maerose anywhere see, say hello and tell him where he is mes amis! He to his chateau much wants to get home. He misses his study and his lovely dinning room and also the food in aforementioned lovely dinning room becasue merrise has not had anything to eat for DAYS mon ami DAYS!

Still, Muiruse is as ever shure that he will to his home once again make it back. Wish him luck, mes amis!

Maurice, blogging LIVE on his iPhone 3G whilst LOST in the WOODS!

Dial a geynius Attempt 2!

Okay, mes amis, so the first attempt it did not work. Alas, Miruse could not remeber his mobile telephone numbers.

But not to wory, mes amis, he will give you his landline number.

Okay. The number of the telefone of his house here in the south of france is +33 4 -- err, Morrise canot the rest remmememeber.

Okay. The telefone number of his flat on Rue Mouffetarde it is +33 1 -- er again he cannot the rest of the number rember.

Okay. The telephone number of his house in Armidale in France it is +33 3, er.

Okay. New plan. The phone number of his house in Paris in Australia, it is +61 2 677 err. Hmm. Maerrose he can rember more of this number, but alas it is not enough!

Hmm. New plan, mes amis. Mowerussse he will try to withtth RATATATATOSKR get in touch. He will let you know.

Dial a genius!

Mawruse has decided to give out his iPhone mobile telefone number on his interweb page, so that you his raedership most devoted and most loyal, can with such a great geynius get to speak! An unprecedented opportunity for his raedership most devoted!

Mes amis, the phone number it is +33 6 -- er hang on, Morrhuse he cannot remember the phone number of his iPhone! THis is most distressing. Maybe Ratatsokr, he will know.

Actually, maybe you can all ring Mowrise his Australian mobil telefone. Mes amis it is +61 4 -- err, mes amis Moruse he cannot that remember either. Alas! Catastrophe!!

Muaerrise he will Ratatatoskr contact, and to you all get back.

Readers Questions

From: Chameleon [chameleon@snigger.com.mg]
To: Ratatoskr
Subject: iPhones

So you did end up going to Australia to "acquire" an iPhone for Maurice eh?

Snigger.

~Chameleon

Nope, Ratatoskr didn't. Said it wasn't gonna happen, it didn't can't and won't. End of story. Had a very important package to deliver for the All Father. One that the Hooded One, Grimnir, just couldnt trust anyone else with. Can't say any more. Nope, not even for acorns. He ain't called the Terrible One for nothing.

Still, Ratatoskr did preorder a 3G iPhone. But it's for himself, not Maurice. Just wait till Maurice finds out, eh? Oh boy, oh boy will that be fun. Stand back and watch the fireworks.

Yours squirrelishly,

Ratatoskr.

That Maurice fella. Heh.

Don't think that just because you've not heard from him, Ratatoskr's not been busy. No sir, I've been one busy little squirrel. Indeed I have. Been to Norway, then last week to Iceland and now in Australia for a week. Rained. Not fair. Not fun, fur got wet. But not to worry, never fear Ratatoskr doesn't let some rain stop him! No sir, had some messages to deliver but done that now. Now got time to rest & relax. Or at least race around looking for acorns and dodging Wagner.

But that Maurice character! Now he has a new iPhone he keeps wanting to ring Ratatoskr up. Phone keeps ringing, every ten minutes. All but two times its been that Maurice fella. Maybe should answer it some time. He might even have something important to say. That'd be a change, eh?

Still. More important stuff to worry about. Like acorns. And hazelnuts. And acorns. And peanuts. And acorns. Ooops, there goes the phone again. Just Maurice. Let's all just pretend I'm not here, eh?

Yours nuttily,
Ratatoskr Squirrel.

IPHONE 3G!!!!!!!!

Mes amis, Maewrosr has just recently of teh luanch of teh NEW 3G ipone read. Now Mearose wants one! His old iphone it seems outdated by comparison. But woe is Mearruse! The new iPohne it does not luanchinate until 11th July, 17th Julie in FRance (which is where Maerhose he is now). What is a Maerorse to do?

Well, this mronign Mawuruuuçe took himself down to the warehouses of Orange France, and climbed the high walls and dodged security guards, and mes amis he is now please do be able to tell you that he now an ipHone 3G himself has! Also, he has his agents in aUstraliaia even now working for him to get an Australian iphOne for Morise his Australian SIM card. Merise will not be left out or left behind, No sir he will not!

Maurise cannot wait to a phone call on his new iphoNe make. Also he is certain that a device this elegant, it MUST the new emails make arrive in Murrhyçe's inbox!

Raeders Wroight

Horray! Maerowse has an email!

From: Captain Jerrold von Obiwankanobe [jvobi@covert-ops.cia.gov]
To: Maurice de Perfossor [maurice.deperfossor@hotmail.fr]
CC: Ratatoskr.Squirrel@GMAIL.COM
Subject: Credit cards

MAURICE! I know you've got my credit cards and are using them! So that's where my bag went. I ask that you must stop using the ones that belong to me immeadiatly, or there will be further consequences. The others, I do not care about. They were just ones I had stolen in any case. Interpol might care though.

Yours,
Jerrold

Capt Jerrold von Obiwankanobe
Captain, S.S. Cado
Sink Fleet Fleet Ships Ltd
"We are definately not a CIA front company!"(tm)

http://www.sinkfleetltd.com/
http://sinkfleet.covert-ops.cia.gov/

Email: capt.j.vonobi@sscado.sinkfleetltd.com
Tel: +1 540 555 0153
Satellite mobile: +1 540 555 0139

Oh no! Maerowse knows not what to do! He had not thought that the Kapitan, he might object to A GENIUS such as MAEORUSE his credit cards using! ALso, Mawrise did not think that maybe some of these credit cards might be ones that the CAPITAN he had stolen.

Murrhose know not what to do. He is scared and confused. He also wonders what these 'CONSEQUENCES' of which the capitan speaks might be. Mawrise hopes it involves chocolate cake.

Ah well, just to cheer himself up mes amis he is buying himself another Rolls Royce on this credit card. He is sure that just one more should a problem not be.

Oh nO!

Maerowse, he was taking his newly foundedinated traesure to the auction house Christies to be valualuated when suddenly it started sniggering. Mes amis, this really was too much for Marrhose for him to bear!

He the Rolls Royse car stopped, and had another look at the treasure chest. Mes amis, it still seemed as traesure chesty as before, but then suddenly it started moving! Maewrose he was most amazed, but then he the turht realized. The chest of treasure, it was not a treast of chesure, it was a CHAMELEON! The CHAMELEON had it had struck again, and left Murrise destituete and upset, the same as before.

It was with a heart broken that Muowrise he towards his Chateau headed back. There was to be no treasure for Mairowse todauy. Drat that chameleleleleon!

Burried Treasure!!!!!

Mes amis, it is true! Mawrose he has in his garden found a buried treasure. Eh bien, he was last night in his jardin walking wehn he upon a treasure chest stumbled. "That it is strange" he to himself thought "Maooroise he wonders what this it could be?" So Moawruse he opened the chest, and it full of gold coins and goblets and coronets and necklaces and other such treasures was full.

Well, Maireuse he was of course most excited. He this treasure into the house took. He will of course an Auction house rign soon, he want s to sell this Traesure for much money to help him by all the stuff Mawroseh he wants. Maybe he can that Rembranddt painting he has his eye on had buy now.

In any case, this must be the best discoverie Maerose he has ever stumbled acrosssss MeS AMis!