MES AMIS ... Mèrise has been trawelling back & ford in thyme mutch this month (if teh concept 'this month' aplies given how mutch thymetravel Morwise is doign). It mutch hard work is but he is picking up mutch useful infromation about teh Templars & thwarting their evwil plans throughout history .... and the future! Muoarise has constantly been back to 1278 to talkinate wiht Robert de Craon & playinate chess (EVWEN IF NOBODY OT+THER TAHN MWRICE CAN CHESS PLAYINATE PREOPERLY! aagh it mutch frustratinating is.). Moariçe is posisng as well-known Crusaeder-Night Sir Meirise, a Knight from Upper-Saxonburgy, or something. ANyway teh improtant tihng is taht teh templars are fooleded.
Mérse ahs a dinner wiht Aglèy planned for next TUesday & he & Aglie will discuss Meroíse's infromation (Don"t wory - Mearise will hidinate teh Thyme machine under a cloht in teh Cellar, where Aglye will never it find!!!!1!@#!@!).
MEANWILE moaeirse plans to use teh Thymemachine for someithing other tahn templar-thwarting because its been wery hard * & * thyring work & MErose needs a brake!!!!
EH BIEN .... he will be back.
Saturday 26 September 2015
Sunday 6 September 2015
THYME MACHINE AGIAN
MES AMIS .... Mŵriśe is just back from more extendinated thymetravel ... but more abuot that soon. Wehn he left (FRIDAY JUNE 18TH) he had just been to see his asociate Agléy and to him tell him some of the infromation Moaróse had about teh templars founded out from his thymetraweling. Unfrotunately he figurinated out taht Merise must a thymemachine have ,.... and evwen managed to guess wehre Merwçe would it hide , despite how cuning M7erisecs hiding spot was ( teh garage - who:d guess taht a car wuold be kept in teh garage?!?!?!?!1!).
ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).
ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).
ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)
Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable! And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??
ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?
ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).
ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).
ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)
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| MÓRISE PLAYINATES CHESS WIHT TEMPLER GRAND MESTER BERT DE CRAYON IPHONE PHOTO TAEKEN WIHT MEARISES IPHONE 11SG++++++ |
Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable! And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??
ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?
Sunday 14 June 2015
Thyme Machine
MES AMIS .... Mioarise has gotted his thymemachine workinating! It mutch exciting is. It took mutch more thyme than he origininally thoughted it would do (but whats time when you ahve a thyme machine?!?!?) but taht's life. Or not,. ANYWAYS taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Meorise now wonce again has a fully functional thymemachine and he wiht it is mutch pleased.
Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.
Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.
First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis, Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.
SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.
Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.
Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.
First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis, Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.
SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.
Wednesday 15 April 2015
shorte update frrom Switzreland.
MES AMIS meàrise is enjoyinating switreland in fact he is in joying it mutch better tahn some othre nongeynius places he has so far wisited.
One raision he enjoyinates it so mutch is taht teh locals appreciate his grasp of SwissGerman! So many ohter places to withc Merise has been in teh past have not appreciated his grasp of teh locael laenguinge. Of cousre Méjeurise always spaeks teh ,local langue fluently but often it terns out taht teh locals don"t speek it at all, or not wery well, witch mutch confusinating & embarresing for all is. But , no , here in Switerlanzrd they it wery well speak.
EG Môrose is rite now in a caffe near his holidy apratment, and he asked teh cafe-tender-coffee-machine-operator-person for a coffee in Mürise his bestest Suiße-DEutsch: "Un cafe por favor," he saided. The cafe-owner-coffe-machine-operatior-cashregister-person was mutch impressed By morrises Deutch & said "Por supuesto, señor, que será de tres euros.". Porbably he evwen tho9gyut that Mjeriçe was a Local. YOU SEE, EVERY OHTER COUNTREY TO WITCH MWERWSE HAS BEEN, IT"S TAHT SIMPLE!!!?@!!!1!!&#^!!!
Eh bien. Taht not teh point is. Actually, no, it was.
Eh bien. Meriose is goingk to finish his coffee & go wisit some whineries. WISH HIM LUCK.
One raision he enjoyinates it so mutch is taht teh locals appreciate his grasp of SwissGerman! So many ohter places to withc Merise has been in teh past have not appreciated his grasp of teh locael laenguinge. Of cousre Méjeurise always spaeks teh ,local langue fluently but often it terns out taht teh locals don"t speek it at all, or not wery well, witch mutch confusinating & embarresing for all is. But , no , here in Switerlanzrd they it wery well speak.
EG Môrose is rite now in a caffe near his holidy apratment, and he asked teh cafe-tender-coffee-machine-operator-person for a coffee in Mürise his bestest Suiße-DEutsch: "Un cafe por favor," he saided. The cafe-owner-coffe-machine-operatior-cashregister-person was mutch impressed By morrises Deutch & said "Por supuesto, señor, que será de tres euros.". Porbably he evwen tho9gyut that Mjeriçe was a Local. YOU SEE, EVERY OHTER COUNTREY TO WITCH MWERWSE HAS BEEN, IT"S TAHT SIMPLE!!!?@!!!1!!&#^!!!
Eh bien. Taht not teh point is. Actually, no, it was.
Eh bien. Meriose is goingk to finish his coffee & go wisit some whineries. WISH HIM LUCK.
Tuesday 14 April 2015
Maeurise in swiuTZerland
MES AMIS .... Moerise is holidayink in SUNNY SWITSERLAND, ahving driven here from Paris:
It a plaesent short 80 hour drive was & Maerise particularly enjotyed teh stopover in Seville.ANyway, taht not teh piont is. Teh point is taht Maérise is here in Switzreland on haeligday in teh plasent Swiss whine town of LA RIOJA, capitel of taht well known Swiss wine region ... which is named after teh town ... and is wery famous ... called le VALAIS. Merise is drinking mutch of teh local wine "HUMAGNE ROUGE: (wich is called RIOJA CRIANZA here for some raison) ,, and it mutch giood is .
Merise ahd is birthday party here a few weeks ago (on the 3rd Avril -- just a few days after his Actual birthday!) and it mutch good was as both Agli`e and Mycroft were good enough to attendinate and we mutch werry good whine had including several bottles of teh "GRAN RISERVA" valais wine ,, as well as '82 Mouton Rotshchild (one of Mycroft"s favourites) & '78 ROmanee- CONTI (Mŵreis';s favorite)./
ANYWAY teh point is taht Meoerise is enjoyinating a holyday in a compeltely templar-free place for a bit. NEXT WEEK he gets back to inwestigating templars ... he inwestigated tehm all March till his magnifying glass, flashluight torch & pennywhistle were nearly worn out. But now he is kickinggg back and enjyoingating teh rolling hills of Switzrelanmd. This mroning Merise decided just to sit in his rented haeligday apratment and read teh paper & drink whine. TO morrow he might go for a stroll to a local whinery. and maybe wisit a caf'e for coffeee & lots of cake. And it mutch good is.
Màerise has much exicting to revel from his last month"s inwestigations .... he just needes thyme to write it all up in his ancient gothic letherbound vellum journal ... then transcribe it all to his MacBook PRO. MORE SOON.
It a plaesent short 80 hour drive was & Maerise particularly enjotyed teh stopover in Seville.ANyway, taht not teh piont is. Teh point is taht Maérise is here in Switzreland on haeligday in teh plasent Swiss whine town of LA RIOJA, capitel of taht well known Swiss wine region ... which is named after teh town ... and is wery famous ... called le VALAIS. Merise is drinking mutch of teh local wine "HUMAGNE ROUGE: (wich is called RIOJA CRIANZA here for some raison) ,, and it mutch giood is .
Merise ahd is birthday party here a few weeks ago (on the 3rd Avril -- just a few days after his Actual birthday!) and it mutch good was as both Agli`e and Mycroft were good enough to attendinate and we mutch werry good whine had including several bottles of teh "GRAN RISERVA" valais wine ,, as well as '82 Mouton Rotshchild (one of Mycroft"s favourites) & '78 ROmanee- CONTI (Mŵreis';s favorite)./
ANYWAY teh point is taht Meoerise is enjoyinating a holyday in a compeltely templar-free place for a bit. NEXT WEEK he gets back to inwestigating templars ... he inwestigated tehm all March till his magnifying glass, flashluight torch & pennywhistle were nearly worn out. But now he is kickinggg back and enjyoingating teh rolling hills of Switzrelanmd. This mroning Merise decided just to sit in his rented haeligday apratment and read teh paper & drink whine. TO morrow he might go for a stroll to a local whinery. and maybe wisit a caf'e for coffeee & lots of cake. And it mutch good is.
Màerise has much exicting to revel from his last month"s inwestigations .... he just needes thyme to write it all up in his ancient gothic letherbound vellum journal ... then transcribe it all to his MacBook PRO. MORE SOON.
Sunday 15 February 2015
MWERISE'S BACK!
At last mes amis .... teh knews you"vwe all beeing waiting for!?@!1!!@#$! . Tahts right, mes amigos, Muirise is BACK. He is BACK in PARRIHS, & he is BACK to WOBLEGGING>. He has ahd an ewentful past few ten monthes (ahs it raelly been taht long? WHY YES IT ALLEGEDLY HAS BEEN!@1!((. From late Avril to Juin last yaer he was in Des Moines, USA looking into taht secret & sinistrer soceity, teh Intedrependent Order of Odfellows. He has a excitinating expos´e he will writenate werry soon mes amis, prehhaps it will his enxt book be. YES IT IS TAHT BIG.
Tehn in Juley, he to Armidale NSW Australie returned and started writing tihs expose (and wobleg post taht he nevwer publishinatated). Unfrotunately befroer he could it publish he was kidnapped by teh Knights of Teh Aprocolypse (tihs was a new one for Mearise!) and flowninated to an undisclosed Locatoin in Liechtenstein (though it woudln"t be werry hard to find agian as its a small country & tehre aren;t taht many locateions tehre to choose from).
Unfrotunately before he could figure out who tehy were or waht tehy wanted him for, he was rekidnapinated by teh Rosicrucians, who arrived in a convwoy of black cars, and who started to drivinate him towards Slowvenia.
Unfrotunately on teh way there he was intrecepted & rekidnappinated by teh Bawarian Illuminati, who arriwinated ina conwoy of BLACK HELLYFLOPTERS. Tehy started to fly towards Poland but wehn tehy stopped to refuelinate Merise was rekidnapped by teh Priory o f Sion.
Muarrise sort of strarted to lose track at tihs point but ewentually his old old freinds teh Knights Templar stepped in & abducted him from some deranged secret soceity somewhere in Lithuania. It was shure a releif to be amongst freidns again!!1?@!U*$@!!! Tehy took him to a wery nice castel tehy happened to ahve in teh Czech Republic & Mearise spent a plaesent few weeks tehre recowering from his inadwertant adwentures ^*& reminising wiht his old frenemies teh Templars. After a bit tehy kindly gave him a lift back to his chic appratment in Parrys which is wehre he is now.
EH BIEN> even tihninkign about it is exhausting. ANYWAY it is good to be home is. To morrow evening his bon ami Aglié will for dinner be coming, and his brohter Mycroft will be drivinating up from Bordeaux to stayinate wiht Merrise for a few days and will also be tehre for teh dinner . It mutch good will be. NOW if you"ll excusinate Muaerrise he must go to le marché & buyinate some food as he doesn"t ahve anything good in teh Hosue. He will post again SOON>
Tehn in Juley, he to Armidale NSW Australie returned and started writing tihs expose (and wobleg post taht he nevwer publishinatated). Unfrotunately befroer he could it publish he was kidnapped by teh Knights of Teh Aprocolypse (tihs was a new one for Mearise!) and flowninated to an undisclosed Locatoin in Liechtenstein (though it woudln"t be werry hard to find agian as its a small country & tehre aren;t taht many locateions tehre to choose from).
Unfrotunately before he could figure out who tehy were or waht tehy wanted him for, he was rekidnapinated by teh Rosicrucians, who arrived in a convwoy of black cars, and who started to drivinate him towards Slowvenia.
Unfrotunately on teh way there he was intrecepted & rekidnappinated by teh Bawarian Illuminati, who arriwinated ina conwoy of BLACK HELLYFLOPTERS. Tehy started to fly towards Poland but wehn tehy stopped to refuelinate Merise was rekidnapped by teh Priory o f Sion.
Muarrise sort of strarted to lose track at tihs point but ewentually his old old freinds teh Knights Templar stepped in & abducted him from some deranged secret soceity somewhere in Lithuania. It was shure a releif to be amongst freidns again!!1?@!U*$@!!! Tehy took him to a wery nice castel tehy happened to ahve in teh Czech Republic & Mearise spent a plaesent few weeks tehre recowering from his inadwertant adwentures ^*& reminising wiht his old frenemies teh Templars. After a bit tehy kindly gave him a lift back to his chic appratment in Parrys which is wehre he is now.
EH BIEN> even tihninkign about it is exhausting. ANYWAY it is good to be home is. To morrow evening his bon ami Aglié will for dinner be coming, and his brohter Mycroft will be drivinating up from Bordeaux to stayinate wiht Merrise for a few days and will also be tehre for teh dinner . It mutch good will be. NOW if you"ll excusinate Muaerrise he must go to le marché & buyinate some food as he doesn"t ahve anything good in teh Hosue. He will post again SOON>
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