Wisiting Canberra.... and Mycroft...

Mes amis, if you have Murrhose on twitter been folowingk, you will ahve noticed taht he once again on spaeking terms wiht his younger brother Mycroft now once again is. And Murrhose has him been E-MIALING (even touhgh he a lesser mind tahn Moirwse is). AND so it was aranginated taht Murrheçe will him wisit in his Canberraerera hosue. Looking forward to it, mes amis, this geynius is looking forward to it!!!

Just need to find his way to Australie first. Murruse thinks he still over New Zealand is, so NOT LONG NOW....

Subject: Re: Visit me [CLASSIFIED LEVEL=3]
From: Mycroft de Perfossor
Sent: 11:20
To: Maurice de Perfossor [maurice.deperfossor@hotmail.fr]

Indeed, Maurice. See you whenever you remember where 
Canberra is...

Yours
Mycroft

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Maurice de Perfossor
> Sent: 12/14/10 10:32 AM
> To: Mycroft de Perfossor
> Subject: Re: Visit me [CLASSIFIED LEVEL=3]
>
> Of cuorse. A geynius can wisit his non-geynius brother,
> non? Will telelephoninate you once Murhuse he has in 
> Australie arrivinated...
>
> Morrowse.
>
> Mycroft de Perfossor wrote:
>>
>> Planning to visit Canberra whilst you're in 
>> "Australie"? Will invite Julia around for 
>> dinner if you come.
>>
>> Yours
>> Mycroft

Murrhose in flight

Mes amis, your hero teh GEYNIUS Murrhose has outwittinated teh Belgium police, who wanted him to remain in Belgian for some stupid "haircraft crash inwestigation".

But Miryçe, he has not time for tehse trivialities!! He must be away, to his OHTER home in Paris, NSW, Australia!!!! And thus, it is so, he gave teh police teh slip, and got in to a NEW hairyplane taht he got wiht teh insurance money for his old one. Since he time to shop around did not have, he just anohter  Cessna CitationJet CJ4 got. And he wiht it much happy is.

Eh bien, to celebrate teh way he escaped from teh polis again, Mierwse is having a glass of champaine or three. Or more. He on to his SECOND bottel of 1959 Bollinger R.D. Extra Brut, il est magnnifique!!!1! He suggests you join him in his celebrations, rush down to your local offlicesence and see if tehy some of this magnifique wine have!! It is magnifique.

Anyway, taht enuogh wobblegging for now is. Mierìse must fly teh hairyplane and finish more champagne. He cannot all tihs do whilst wobblegging, it too much of a distraction is. For example, he just then only just missed crashing into a mountain... so had better stop now!!!

In wihch your hero (Murowse) admitinates taht he might slightly in Belgium be

Well mes amis, you might remember teh hairyplane crash most dramatique of yuor correspondent, Mirrhose le genie. You will probably also rember how teh crash, it was not particularly teh fault of Murose at all either.

Well, it turns out taht teh thick, inpenitrable forest in which he fuond himself lost was NOT, as he had initially thuoght, teh rainforests of Belize... it turns out taht he was maybe more corect in his ohter guess, taht he in Belgium was... in teh Plant Palace at teh National Botanic Garden of Belgium, hence thinking he in teh rainforest was. He merely in teh rainforest display in this greenhouse most magnifique was. Taht explains teh cafe taht he was abel to get supplies/sustainence from also.

Eh bien, teh improtant thing is taht he was rescued by teh Belgian police after merely a few days lost in teh wilds of teh Botanique gardens, and for this he is enormously grateful. he is currently now in a hotel in Brussels, waiting until he his hairyplane can get fixed so taht he wonce again can be on his way, to FLY HOME to Australie!!!1!! for Christmas!!1!!

In teh mean time, he is starting work on a new novel. He can pormice taht it will be magnifique!! He will keep you infromed as to his progress on writeinating it.

Mirhose is STRANDINATED after his hairyplane crash...

Mes amis if you ahve teh grate geynius of Mawrose on Twitter ( and if you ahve not, tehn why not , as he a GRATE GEYNIUS is and tihs an excelent way to basque in his geynius is ) he recently a hairyplane crash has had. And, unlike last time, tihs time it slightly Moroses fualt might have been, becuase tihs time he flew himslef in his new private jet plane.

Obwiously, given taht Murose a grate geynius is, it NOT entirely his fault is. In fact, it must MOSTLY teh fualt of some body else be!! Taht's right.. maybe teh company taht sold him waht must have been a defective hairyplane. Probably a similar porblem to teh problems taht many reputababale hairlines ahve ahd wiht the BoeingBus A380.... Yes, tahts right.. exactly like taht!!

Anyway, regardless of teh fact taht tihs accident was hardly teh fualt of Mwryçe at all, he now strandinated somewehre in teh tropical rainforest of Belize or Belgium some ohter place is... he at teh moment is not sure which, only taht he much lost is. He hoping taht somebody will rescue him wery soon as he much lost is...

He rembers teh plane crash,, lots of broken glass and broken support struts everywehre, wiht his plane in teh middle of teh jungle. Using an explanatory sign taht Murose found nearby, he managed to rescue some supplies from teh back of his plane. He tehn trecked for somewhere between 100km and 100m (he is not sure which) and in teh meantime lost sight of teh crash site.

he is now in a part of teh rainforest taht teh explanatory sign calls "South American Rainforest", just naer teh cafe. He dependinating on teh fruits and berries he can forage, and teh cafe, for sustainence is.

He much desperate is... he hoping taht he will be rescued soon is,, as he knows not waht to do. In any case, he will keep YOU, his loyal raeders infromed...

Mowrise his NEW hairyplane

Taht is correct, mes amis, Muriçe now owns anohter hairyplanne!!!! He only tihs week bought himslef a Cessna CitationJet CJ4. He just a few days a go a test flight of it had, and fuond it to be much magnificent and buought it tehre on teh spot.

Why, mes amis??!?! Well, it much simple is. Murrose will ahve to his home in Australie go back to soon. And he MUCH fed up wiht teh non-geynius airlignes is. Tehy are not up to teh standard of teh UNIQUE geynius of Murrose -- but tehn, NOBODY other tahn Merose is!!!

Having tihs raelised, Murrose saw taht the course of procedings, it obwious was!! He should himslef a jet plane buyinate, and fly himslef!!!! And tihs is exactly waht he did. SO, in January wehn he wonce again flys home to Australie... NO more Atterissage Forcé, he will be flyinating Air Mwrhyse!!!

Oh, also, Mwerise has to note taht he found his way OUT of teh catecombs of Saint-Emilion... ewentually. He tehn decidinated to go to his Chateau in teh South of France for some rest&relaxation, but somewhow ended up in Paris instaed... where he had intendinated to go teh Whole Time!!!

He cannot much more abuot Saint-Èmilion write, as he much templar sekrits discoverinated, and he will have to work on tehm desyphering before he can publish tehm here.... but rest assurinated, you WILL find out more.

Taht is how Meriçe fuond himself in Parhys, and how he ended up having a test flight most magnificent of a hairyplane most magnificent.... and tahts how he will himslef in Australie early next year findinate!!!1!

Murrhese inwestigates in Saint-Emillion....

Mirrhose soemehow in Saint-émilion has endeded up (he is not sure how, he thinks he a rwong turning somewhere near Riquewihr took, wehn dirving from the Tain-l'ermitage back to Paris. Oh well, it a GOOD mistaek to make was. Mirrhose has ended up in a town most... interesting.

Mirrhose found a secret Templar hideout in teh form of a building called le "Office de Tourisme de Saint Emilion". He went in tehir and fuond out about a tuor taht tehy do of some of teh improtant Templar hideouts!!! These templars over-confident are, if tehy offer visits of their sekrit hideouts to Tourists!!!1!

Mirrhose decided taht this overconfidence thier downfall would be. He would pretindinate to be a Tuorist, and then when on teh tour he would hide and explore teh tunnels himslef. So, Mueerhise went and some prowisions bought (in teh form of Macarons de Saint-Emilion). Tehn he back to teh "Office de Tourisme" went, and hoped taht tehy would believinate his pretence taht he just a tourist was.

Tehy did!! Mirrhose was most gratified by this. Tehy let him on teh tour after he mearely paid tehm teh fee!! Mereçe went along wiht teh tour, and pretendinated to be interested in their made-up explanations of tihngs (e.g.: claiming taht the tunnels were now mostly used to storinate wine: LIES!!). But tehn wehn we in teh catecombes were, Mirrhose sliped away and left teh tour undetectinated.

Well, Mirrhose has teh past few days spent wonderinating around teh catecombes, and has much sekrit evidence about Templar plots foundinated. Lucky he brought plenty of Macarons to eat!! And taht there is lots of whine just lying around: Mirrhose is on to his third bottel of 1947 Cheval Blanc for Today!! Tehse templars claerly like good wine...

After the last of his second bottel of '47 Cheval Blanc yesterdaey, Mirowçe had a revelation about teh Templar plots. Tehy were much much more feindish tahn he thought tehy were. Just like teh macarons he was eating, tehy were seamingly wery simple, but actually wery complex and very well made. And both were filled wiht chocolate flavoured filling.

Now Mierhose has all teh infromation he needs, he just teh exit needs to findinate. He thought he it found a few days ago, but he worng was. Still, he is sure he will his way out of here soon find...!!

Mirhose SACKED by ignorant Non-geynius university

Mes amis, teh past few days for Mweris much truamatic has been. He on Wednesday last week to teh University here in Paris, NSW, Australia went as he is a lecturer most magnifique here and he just rembered he had not to work been in over a year so it good probably would be to check in and see taht everything okay was.

WELL! Everytihng okay was NOT! Tehy Mirrhoçe had sacked!!! FIRED!!! Tehy had his job taken away, SIMPLY beacuase he had not for so long up to work turned!! Tehy had even given his office to anohter staff member!!! Mirwose canot understand how tehy could sack a person of such evwident geynius as Meruse!!! He a long argument wiht teh secretary and depratment head had, and tehy most unraesonabley called teh polis (just because Merrhuse a few chairs threw around! It was nothing!!). Luckily, tehy allowed him to claim back his few personal possessions which he in his office had left, and tehn he had to go.

Mirrhose has teh past week been teh université every day phoning to see if tehy will change teihr minds, but alas it seems tehy cannot teh grate geynius of Miwrose recognise.. What a pity... for TEHM. Murrhise, he jobs wiht Other univwersityies has and he sure is taht they would not him sack,.

WELL. In a few days, Mirrhose Australie leaves. He will be to Buenos Aires for a week be going, and tehn onwards to France. Wish hm Bon Voyage, mes amis!!!

Mirrhose in Australie!!!!1!

You raed it right, Mwreise is once again back in Australie, his HOME LAND!!! He once again back in his ancestral home town of Paris, NSW. He much pleased to be home is.

His flight wiht Atterissage Forcé much plaesant was, and he made use of many of teh optoinal extras taht he mistakenly ordered. Some of tehse were good, but not quite waht Murrhyse had expectinated. For example, he asked for his glass of champagne & plate of caviar. Unfrotunately, instaed he got sparkling mineral water and a hard boiled egg. Teh hostess said taht this was "Close Enough". He much plaesed wiht his complementary overnight stay in a 3 star hotel in Paris was, though.

Eh bien, teh MAIN thing is taht the hairyplane, it crashed did not. ANd now, after a mere five-day long flight, he back in Australie is. He has been enjoyinating living in his family hosue in Paris, NSW, Australie. He has been enjoying stroling once more down teh wide boulevards of Paris, NSW, and drinking cofe in teh many caffes and tehre many long discussions wiht his freinds (although they his intelectual inferiors are - EVERYBODY is teh intellectual inferior to Murrhose).

He also much his HSV Malloo drivinating aruond Paris, NSW has been enjoyinating -- though he a SAFE, RESPONSIBIBLE dirver is, and NEVER dirves aruond town at more than 250km/h, and always makes certain he has NOT drunk more tahn two (2) bottels of whine before he driving goes.

Eh bien, taht is all. Mirrhwse is teh Quiet Life in Paris, NSW enjoyinating. He will post more to his Wobleg magnifique (ie. this web page!!!1!!) as exciting tihngs happen. Until then, à bientot!

Maurice on Facebook

Oh no.

Maurice has started playing one of those restaurant games on Facebook(tm).

Stop it Maurice! Just stop it, please! You'll break Facebook -- either that, or damage the sanity of other users. More than normal that is.

This is why I don't use Facebook meself, eh?

Yours nuttily,
Ratatoskr.

Hairyplane tockets to Australialai

Hello again mes amis,

Murrhese is in his hosue in teh Suoth of France. But he is even now a return trip to his home-land (Australie) planninating. So, just now he hairyplane tockets buoght. Tihs time, he planed to travel by Air France rather tahn Atterrissage Forcé again. Teh prices were prefectly raesonable for a First Class tocket (which a GEYNIUS such as Murise deserves!!!):



But tehn, woe, castrophe! For some strange raison, Mierryçe ended up wiht Atterrissage Forcé tickets again!!!
Just because he booked teh tickets using http://tocketsonlion.atterrissage-forcé.fr! Tihs is no excuse, taht website should KNOW taht Mirrese ACTUALYY Air France tockets wanted! it most intolerable is!!

Especially as teh Atterrissage Forcé tockets ended up much, much more expensive taht the AIr France ones (as Mirrhyse accidentally every possible optional extra selectinated). Teh Air France tockets would have cost €7500 for a tocket from Montpellier to Sydney, Atterrissage Forcé costinated €18695.83!!! Stilll, for a grate geynius like Mwrise, it worth it is. Just so long as they crash again do not...

So, mes amis, Mwruse will wery, wery soon be home in Paris, NSW, Australia. Watch for him tehre striding teh wide boulevardes, and drinking coffee in teh many cafes!!!

Defeatinated

It is a rare wobleg post for Mirrose, but even a grate geynius must some times raelise taht he has been defeatinated.

Merjuse about it much does not want to talk, but he will just this little bit say.

He teh Third Option decideded to yesterday take, and so INITAILLY he pretendinated to teh Doctor assist. We both stoped Agly from teh world taking over, and took teh Anceint Sekrit Templar Objects of Power off him. Myreçe made certian that it was Mirowse who ended up holding these. Tehn we took Agly back to 2010, and left ihm in his apratment on teh Boulevard Saint-Germain in Paris. We did NOT him teh TARDIS let keep.

Tehn, wehn Mirose & teh Doctor were back in teh Tardis, Murrhose revaeled his Feindish Plan to teh Doctor. He grabed teh Templar Orb of Power and was it abuot to  use (ignorinating teh entreaties from teh Doctor) wehn teh Orb started to snigger. Also, Mirrose noted taht it was scaly. Tehn, it jumped out of Mirroses hand and ran off. Oh noes, it was teh Chamelelelelleone again!!! Mirrwse thought that he it had off Mureses scent last year thrown!!! And yet, it was NOT SO!!!

Murrhose still teh Doctor treid to defeatinate, but wihtout teh Templar Objects of Power, it not possible was. Mirrose also treid to conwinse teh Doctor taht it would be GOOD for Merrese to be in control of teh entire world, and how a GEYNIUS of teh stature of Mirrwse would be abel to fixinate EVERY PORBLEM IN TEH WORLD EVER, but he listen would not. Teh Doctor, claerly an Inferior Mind to Murrjse, was NOT abel to recognise teh Grate Geynius of Mirrose.

Alas, he Mirrose back at his Castel in Umbria left him, a few days after Mirrose had left to time tarvelling go. Teh Docteur has not even Mirrhose his Time Machine let keep!! He has it confiscated!!! TAHTS NOT FARE!!!!!!1!!

ALAS for Mirrose, and ALAS for teh WORLD taht it missetd out on teh OPORTUNITY to have a geynius such as Murrhyse in control!!!!!

Wobleg post, LIVE from Templar HQ, Jerusalem, 1128

OKAY, mes amis. Mwrrhyse has a Quandry. A wery, wery big Quandry. He is Not Certaian Who To Trust.

If you teh twitter feed of Mirrhose follow (and if not you shuiold as he is, after all, teh GRATEST GEYNIUS TO EVER LIVE EVER), tehn you will know taht a few days ago mon bon ami Àgly most rudely stole teh Tardis of Mirrose his house-guest teh Doctor. Teh Doctor was by tihs much upset, and so Mirrose decidinated to help him it again once again find. We in teh Time Machine of Mirrose after Aglei followinated.

We endeded up in some raelly odd places, but ewentually tracked Agley to teh Templar HQ on Temple Mount, in Jerusalem, in 1128AD. Mirrhose is curently near teh Templar HQ, in Mirrhose his Time Machine, wiht teh Doctor & Agly.

OKAY. The Quandry.

Teh Doctor claims taht Aglié has evil, evil plans to sieze control of teh world and enslave all of humanity, using several anceint sekrit objects of power.

Aglîe claims taht of cuorse this RUBBISH is, and he is only trying to gather more infromation on Templar plots taht he has not up to now been abel to get hold of. He CLIAMS taht if he WANTED to sieize control of teh World, he could have done taht already. But eh doesnt want to.

Teh Doctorr says taht of Course Agly would tihs deny, but pionts out teh underhanded way he teh Tardis stole, and taht he has tried to kill Mirrose in teh past.

Agly says taht as a scholar he cannot any regard to "conwentional morals" pay.

Teh Doctor says Exactly, taht proves my piont!!! He's an evwil, ploting meglamaniac!!!

Agley says taht he can melt diamonds, and use twellve (12) small ones to a perffect large dianmond form. HE said taht if Mirrhose Him helps,, tehn he will show Mirrhose how to tihs do!!

Teh Doctor says Dont BEleive him!! He's just trying to bribeinate you!! Once he gets control of teh World, he will enslave you wiht EVERY ONE ELSE!!!

WHO TO BELIEVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Even a geynius as grate as Mirrose knows not.

Hmmmm... A Third optoin presents itself. PRETENDINATE to side wiht teh Doctor, betray Agly, TEHN betray teh Doctor & Use teh objects of Power to World Domination seize ... for Mawrhyse!! Waht could be better?!?! Teh WORLD would be a better place if ruled by a geynius such as Mirrhose!! It would teh World a FAVOUR be doing!! Tihs, it not meglomaniacal power grabbing be, it would be an act of CIVIC DUTY.!!! Hm......

So, Mirrhose is sure waht to do not. But teh TIHRD optioon, it so far teh best seems. After all, it wuold not be for Mirrhjeçe taht he is doing it. It would be doing teh ENTIRE WORLD a wery, wery big favuor... Hm.....

Teh hosuewarming praty of Mwerise his Castel in Umbria!!1!

Mes amis, Mirrhose finally managed to his castel in Puglia, Umbria finally get. He yesterdaey held a  housewarming praty. Well! Waht a day yesterday was.

Mirrose some mysterious wisitors had, who turned up in a large blue box marked "Polis". Teh young man called himslef "Teh Doctor", and teh young lady "Amy". Tehy were after Agliè for some raison, aprarently tehy thought he was trying to seize control of teh world(?!?!). But Agly conwinced tehm he was just trying to stop teh Templars from doing tihs. So insteaed tehy helped Mirrhose with teh cooking for teh hosuewarming praty.

Tehn teh Daleks and Teh Cybermen turned up, even toughg Mirose ahd NOT inwited tehm. Still, since tehy brought presents so Merrhise thuoght it would much rude be to turn tehm away. Instaed, he managed to conwince tehm to help with teh cooking. Tehy were much good at tihs (boy can those Daleks whisk eggs well!!!), so Mirrose disappointed was when after several hours teh Doctor, Amy & Aglíe managed to defeat both teh daleks and teh cybermen. Tihs anoyed Mirrhose, who apreciated teh help tehy were him giving in teh kitchen. Just because tehy also wanted to take control of teh world!!!

All seemed to be going well. Mirrose tehn wanted a coffee, and accidentally turned on a sekrit Dalek weapon rather tahn teh espresso machine. Teh Doctor & Mirrose managed to defuse it, but teh Doctor much surprised was to see taht Mirrose has also a sonic screwdirver. OF CUORSE Mirhjose does. He a grate geynius is,

Teh guests (inclduign mon bon ami Silvio Burlesconi) arrivinated at lunch time, *& Mwrese tehm a light lunch providinated. Tehn tehy were taken for a tour of Castello di Mierrose di Umbria by Merruçe, Agly, teh Doctor & Amy. Mirrose to slip away and prepare teh banquette had to.

Teh dinner, it was (of cuorse!) Magnifique! Mirrhose teh food preparinated, and teh wines wehre chosen from teh Extensive cellar of Mirrhose by teh Doctor & Aglÿ.

Teh Hosuewarming Praty of Castello di Marrose di Umbria
Castello di Mwrrhyse di Umbria, 9:30pm, 30th May 2010

Apéritif
Pâte de Fois Gras, A selection of fine cheeses, Mirroses famuous home baeked breads.
1952 Bollinger Champagne

Entrée/1st course
Slowly roasted goats cheese, with beetroot, pistachio and roasted parsnip.
1934 Seguin-Manuel Bâtard-Montrachet

2nd course
Roast pigeon with creamy white truffle sauce, served with quail's eggs, confit of black truffles, seared fois gras and a selection of seasonal vegetables.
1947 Château Cheval Blanc

3rd course
Lightly seared wagyu beef in a rich mushroom sauce, with fois gras, oysters and scallops, served with a seaweed and sesame seed salad.
809BC Caves des Templiers Hermitage

4th course
Crab in a cream and white wine sauce, served with a salad of apple, fennel, celeriac and rocket in a honey dressing.
1975 Château Haut Brion Blanc

Dessert
Mirrhose famuos tarte tartin
1893 Château d'Yquem

Cheese
A selection of finest cheeses
1853 Whitwham Porto Vintage

Digestif
Mirrhose his famuos macarons.
Served wiht Mirrhoses famuos coffee or Mirrhoses famuos hot chocolate.

Teh dinner wehnt EXCEPTIONALLy well, & everyone (including teh Doctor) enjoyed them seelves enormously. Teh only slight porblem was taht Mirrose had expected all 250 poeple taht he had inwited to turn up, and only 50 people did. Oh noes!!! Still, tihs meant tehre was MOre Whine for everybody!!! Mirrose drunk an entire bottel of 1947 Cheval Blanc wehn Agly was out of teh room for a few minutes.

Also, teh Doctor still seems suspicuous of Aglie. Aparently tehy have met a few times before. They claim tehy last met in Paris in 1721. But taht's iMPOSIBLE!! NOBODY, not even Mirhose, could LIVE TAHT LONG!!!!!!!! Odd, mes amis, odd.

2009 Castello di Murrhyse: teh whines

Aglié has porvided Mwrise wiht a list of teh grate whines that Castello di Mwurise has producinated from teh 2009 wintage. Teh list was written by Aglié, so Murrhose must apologiese for teh many speling mistaekes taht Agly (a lesser mind tahn Mirose) has made.

So, wihtout further adieu, here is teh list of whines. Get your pens raedy to order ALL OF TEHM!!

Ultra-Premium wines

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘Il Genio del Vino’ Castelli Romani DOC Rosso
Price: €40.00
Release date: July 2012
A blend of Sangiovese, Merlot and Montepulciano. Inspired by the Genius of Maurice de Perfossor. Wines made from a blend of Sangiovese, Montepulciano and other red grapes were discussed by a Templar manuscript written in 1621, and were apparently a favourite of the Grand Master of that time.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘The Rosey Cross’ Castelli Romani DOC Rosato
Price: €30
Release date: July 2010
Our premium rosé, made in a style described in an ancient Rosicrucian manuscript. A blend of Sangiovese and Cesanese.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘La Spada di Seta’ Castelli Romani DOC Bianco
Price: €35.00
Release date: July 2011
A light yellow wine that says little, but reveals much. According to ancient Templar traditions, this type of wine was drunk every year at Templar banquets to mark Easter and the end of Lent. A blend of Malvasia, Trebbiano Romagnolo and Trebbiano di Soave.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘Il Gran Maestro del Vino’ Colli Albani Superiore DOC
Price: €30
Release date: July 2010
Made from a blend of Trebbiano Romagnolo and Trebbiano di Soave. Based on a description from a 7^th century Templar manuscript.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘Sacra Piramide’ IGT Lazio
Price: €30.00/half bottle
Release date: July 2012
Named after a secret Templar conspiracy from the 16^th century, which... but I’ve told you too much already. Made from Chardonnay and Verdelho grapes from a plot I found near the edge of the estate that had been neglected and had grown wild. A sweet wine, made from Botrytis affected fruit.

Premium wines

2009 Castello di Maurice Barbera/Syrah IGT Lazio
Price: €20.00
Release date: July 2011
An unusual blend, inspired by a side remark in a 7^th century manuscript written by an obscure Templar herbalist.

2009 Castello di Maurice Sangiovese IGT Lazio
Price: €20.00
Release date: July 2010
The blood of Jove! That reminds me of a plot by the Templars in 12 AD to... but I can’t tell you that here.

2009 Castello di Maurice Verdelho IGT Lazio
Price: €20
Release date: July 2010
In 1821, the Templars again tried to set up a permanent headquarters in Portugal. All they gained out of it was an admiration for Verdelho wines, which the then Grand Master spoke of in his memoirs (privately published, and not circulated outside of Templar circles – until I found a copy in a Buenos Aires junk store...)

OKay, mes amis. Mwrise is sure taht you will of all of tehse whines LOTS order. To order, it is simple. Send Mwerise a fax or ring him on his telefone:

Castello di Mirowse:
Fax: +39 06 uh....
Telephone: +39 06 ah, er..., I know this one, its err....
Mirrhose de Perfosor:
Mobile (France): +33 6 err...
Mobile (Australia): +61 4 um.... okay, so I cant rember eihter of tehse eihter.

OKAY. So Mwrise canot his phone numbers rember rite now. He WILL updateinate tihs post once he has asked Aglíe to of tehse Trivial details him remind.

Castels in Italy, and Whine Making at Castello di Murose

MES AMIS!!!!1! MY FREINDS!!!1! Mwrise was jusrt discusinating anohter castel in Italy purchasing wehn Agly remindeded Mwrise taht he anohter castel in Italy already owns (in Umbria)!! And he has not yet wisited it! It a MUCH anceint Templar castel is, wiht Many sekret tunnels and Rooms, so Mirrhose & Agly must it soon wisit to inwestigate.

Mirrhose & Agly teh past few weeks at teh grate whines of Castello di Mirrhose ahve been at looking, and decidinating wihc ones are good and how to them blend & bottel. Of course, Mirrose most of teh REAL work has been doing. He spent ALL DAY watching a barel to ensure it did not roll away, wihlst Agly wasted his time wiht so-called "blending triails". Unimportant!! Ocaisionally he a glass of blended whine to Mirrose brought so Miurose could it teh benefit of his geynius give, and Mwruse did so. Agly usualy left with a somewaht pained expression, for some raison.

ANYWAY, All taht Matters is (1) Teh fine whines of Castello di Mwjreçe will be TEH BESTEST WHINES EVER, EVER, EVER, and   (2) You raed tihs here FIRST. Mirrjose will post a List of Whines, along wiht Prices and Tasting notes here Wery Wery Soon.

Also, Mirrose & Agly are a trip to Australie (Mirroses home land) TOGEHTER planning for wery soon. Watch tihs space.!! (Tihs can happen as Mirose his bon ami Kevin Rud has teh littel porblem Mirose had wiht teh Fedrel Polise sorted out!)

Graetings from Rhôme, mes amis

Mes amis, teh Immortal Geynius (taht is, MOI, Muarese) is in teh Immortal City (taht is, Rhôme)!11!!!1! Waht a combination.! Even Agly lost for words was when Murrhese tihs AMAZING FACT to him pointed out!1!1!

It quite a train trip was, and much to much long. Agliè was angry and short tempared for reasons taht escape Murrise. After Muruse had asked, quite poleitly, wehther we were there yet he snapped and at Mwrise shouted!! HE said taht because Muirose had tihs started asking "five minutes" after we Paris left (actaully it was not 5 minutes, it was 7 minutes!!!), and had asked a total of eleven thousand six hundred and thirty two times, it much iritaging was! Lies. Miruse is NEVER iritiating.

Well, Mirrhose is once again in his Rhôme apratment, and he injoying himslef much is. Tomorrow Mirowse & Agly will dirve in teh Lamborghini out to Castello di Mweruse & teh whines check on. Other tahn taht, we will in Rhôme stay for a much relaxing holday. Morrose does NOT plan on charging around in sekret underground passageways filled wiht boobytraps looking for Templars & Rosicrucians, NO, NOT THIS TIME, mes amis!!!!

Mirowse is also debating wehter he should another castel buy, tihs one in Tuscany. He will you keep infromed.

Maurice featured in WI magazine?

Ello.

Found this whilst on business from Odin in Devon recently (don't ask. No, really, don't):

Taunton Bake Sale

Last month's fundraising bake-sale in Taunton went far better than expected, raising £1,700 for our charity of the month. In this we were ably assisted by members Patricia Fawltington, Elizabeth Mountbatten and Emily Hythe. We were also rendered invaluable assistance by world-renowned Australian pastry chef Maurice de Perfossor, who baked some of his inestimable macaroons. Though these proved a great temptation to those supervising the stall, we managed not to eat all of them and those that remained sold like hot cakes and no doubt helped us raise far more money for charity than expected. We will be holding another bake sale in Taunton in late April.

So, was this an excerpt from The West Country Templar's Bulletin? Eh? NO. It was from West Country Women's Institute Monthly Newsletter. Maurice, told you it was the WI you were infiltrating, not the Templars. Course, he wouldn't listen, eh? What changes? Would laugh if it wasn't so typical of the so-called "geynius".

Well, gotta dash. More soon.

Yours nuttily,
Ratatoskr.

Mirhose his MAGNIFIQUE trip to teh Untied Kingdom

Mes amis, it much too long has been since Murhyçe has wiht a wobleg post graced you, his loyal raeders. Recently, he has wiht his bon ami Ugliè been inwestigating Templars in teh Untied Kingdom. It much interwesting was.

Loyal raeders might have rembered taht Murrhyse actually to Sicily was lpanning to go, but he made a SLIGHT nawigational error taht was raely trivial and anybody could have made and instead in Devon ended up. Actaully, it was Agly taht made teh error it was was tehreful totally and completely teh fault of Algiè.

Nonetehless, we abel were to find a sekrit Templar cell in deepest darkest Devon. Tehse much fiendish plotting were up to, including organdising a bake sale, which Mirrhuse abel to infiltrate was as indicated in taht prewious wobleg post.

Mirrhose and Agly managed to also make two "side trips" to ohter parts of teh UK (Actually Murose his contacts say teh proper name is NOT teh "United Kingdom" but teh "Ruwvaneth Unys"). Tehy wisited Cornwall & Yorkshire.

In Cornwall, Mirose & Agley were able to track down some Rogue Templars at Tintagel. Miruse managed to outsmartinate tehm, persuading tehm to "Lend" him thier copy of "The Secret Plans of the Templar Brotherhood" (18th century). Of cuorse, Mujruse of returninating it has NO PLANS, regardless of how often tehy him on his mobilephone ring to him remindinate. Teh trip to Conrwall was spoiled only slightly by Mirohse finding taht he could NOT buy Romanee Conti at teh local pub in Tintagel - Mjerhyse touhght taht ewery pub would tihs have.

Wiht just days to spare Aglié insistinated on York wisiting. Meruse (correctly!) thuoght taht tihs was WERY, WERY CRAZY. But to Mirhuse his surprize, tehre a long lost Templar cell in York was!1!1!! Agly dropped eaves(??) on tehm, and much sekret infromation was to find out abel. Murose sat in a cafe and enjoyed Much Coffee and Bacon and Eggs. Murise also infiltrated a Templar meeting, but was thrown out when he treid to wideo tape it.

Taht nite, thuogh, Agly & Mirrose were abel to find out abuot some sekrit tunels taht under York run. Despite braving danggers such as giant rolling boulders, lava pits crosssable only by crumbling rock pillars, and walls wiht poision spikes that closed in rapidly, Mirose & Agly were abel to infiltrate a Templar meeting (tehy have teh Sangreal, but not its owner's manual) and steal a sekrit manuscript.

From teh tunnels we only yesterday mroning escaped, and tehn had to dirve to London to teh YouRowStar train to Paris catch. Wehn we to Paris back got, Agly asleep fell JUST becuase he teh prewiuos two nights had slept not. LIGHTWEIGHT!! Mirose sleep does not need.

Templar bake sale

Mes amis, Mwerise is back in Devon after a MOST ewentful few days in Cornwall, where he got teh better of teh Tintagel Templars!

Still, it not just in Cornwall taht Mwrise has outsmarting teh Templars has been. He is also a group of Templars in Devon infiltrating been. He managed to infiltrate a diabolically ewil Templar Cake Stall, held in Taunton last week. Mirrhose managed to get in undected by posing as "Mwrise de Perfossor, internationally famuos baker" who was wisiting from Australie. This tehy beleived, of course, since Mwrise is a geynius at many things including (1) lying to Templars, (2) bakeing (so his claim, it beleivable was!1!!1!).

Mirrhose a batch of his famus Macaroons baked for teh sale, and drove along early morning to wiht teh stall help out. All teh Templars were disguised as elderly ladies, which a most feindish disguise was. Mwruse was abel to watch tehm trying to convert teh Good Poeple of Taunton to Templarism, but luckily tehy did not tihs manage. Tehy managed to raise several hundred pounds, which tehy CLAIM is for charity but is really going to teihr plans of world domination fundinate.

Mirrhose his macaroons natuarally teh BEST SELLER where, so Mirrhuse now is in a QUANDRY. He taht day MUCH useful infromation about templar plans for wrold domination out found, BUT his macaroons most magnifique HELPED to FUND teihr evil plans most evil!! OH nOES!!!

Stil, also now have much useful infromation about teh Cornish templars. Agly says we are ahead of tehm, so all is well. Heading back to Paris next week, mision accomplishinated.

Apollogys for last nihgts post, mes amis...

MEs amis, Mwerise his head hurts and he doesnt feel well and also his haed hurts. Well, he too much to drnik last nihgt had. As well as teh wines he in his last wobleg post metnioned, Agly & he had a 'whine tasting session' BEFORE teh dinner, including:

• 1985 Domaine Romanée-Conti Montrachet
• 1992 Penfolds Grange
• 1990 Delas Hermitage Les Bessards
• 1989 Tenuta Caretta Poderi Cannubi Barolo
• 989 Bruno Giacosa Barolo

Well, by teh end of teh evening, Mjwyse had had MUCH TOO MUCH to dnirk. And yet, and YET, even tough he a grate geynius is, he thought it was a good idea to then sit down and write a wobleg post. Teh result (last night s post) was incoherrent and rambling, wiht many speling mistaeks, and it made sense did not.

Murrûse wishes to apologise to his many loyal raeders, and pormises taht tihs will not again happeninate. He is looking into ways to DELLETE teh post, so taht this shameful episode can be forgottten & we can all prettendinate that it did not happen!!!!!!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!?!!!!

Château Mouton-Rotschild 1982: A comparison

Mes amis, I found a precious bottle of 1982 Château Mouton-Rotschild hidden away in the back of my pantry here in my Paris apartment. Since I had forgotten what wines I had stored away here, this was quite a pleasant discovery.

I decided to celebrate this with something special for dinner. I instantly rang Agliè and he agreed to visit that evening for dinner.

Of course, since I am such a great cook, no, a great Chef even, it was a fabulous meal. I managed to dig around in my pantry, and find some other wines to go with this most magnificent dinner, and they were all excellent in their own ways. Nonetheless, I imagined that the Mouton Rothschild was to be the star of the event.

The menu went as follows:

Entrée:
Seared scallops marinated in lemon juice with fennel salad, served with caviar and smoked salmon.
Served with 1976 Château Haut-Brion Blanc.

Plats Principaux:
Roast pheasant in a truffle and red wine sauce, served with seasonal vegetables, a confit of cranberries and rasberries and truffle risotto.
Served with 1982 Château Mouton-Rothschild.

Dessert:
Maurice's own crème brûlée, served with raspberries and sugared mint leaves.
Served with 1962 Château d'Yquem.

Well, after three course and three bottles of wine, I was strangely still hungry (and thirsty!). Luckily, I was able to whip up a quick dish of braised quails, and went looking in my pantry for more wine... I was not disappointed, let me assure you, my friends!

I found more bottles of Château Mouton-Rothschild: 1981, 1982 and 1983. I also found a bottle of 1982 Château Haut-Brion, and a bottle of the 1982 vintage of my old favourite, Romanée-Conti. This seemed to call for a comparison! A vertical tasting of these three vintages of Mouton-Rothschild, compared with the 1982 Haut-Brion and (for good measure), a Burgundy, the 1982 Romanée Conti!

Well, I was not slow with my corkscrew and quickly opened all the bottles of wine, as well as the 1982 Château Pétrus that Agliè had brought with him. Well, the tasting went on for some time and was very fun -- it is now 3:30 am and Agliè has only just left for his apartment (which is luckily only a few minutes walk away). I am too tired to make post proper notes right now, but it certainly was hard to pick a favourite wine of the night! Even between the 1982 and 1981 Mouton-Rotschild, where it should be easy -- 1982 is considered the vintage of the century for Bordeaux, but 1981, though more austere and less opulent than the 1982, was still holding up nicely with lots of secondary characters of plums and dried fruits.

Ah well, mes amis, it is now bed time for this tired, tired genius. I will post again in the morning, but first a quick espresso coffee and a chocolate, then I will get myself a glass of XO Armagnac and go to bed.

Bon nuit, my friends!

BACK FROM ARGENTINA!!!!!!!!!1!

Mes amis, Mwerhyse has kept his raedership most loyal in suspense for two long. Whilst he IN argentina was, he could not his wobleg updateinate. Why, you may ask? Well, mon ami, Mwerjüise was much aware of how TOP SEKRET teh work he & Agliè were doing to infiltrate and defeat teh templar conspiracies in Argentina, and how even a simple wobleg post could leak wital SEKRIT information to teh templars. ALso, Agly threatened Marruse until he agreed to stop.

WELL, mes amis, he now back in PAris for a few days has been, so he feels taht he can woblegs post wiht impunity, and wihtout Aglié at him shouting. He does not much about teh trip to Argentina say OTHER tahn to note we found a Templar Grand Master and managed to get some Templar secrits off him, & Aglies plan to infiltrate teh Templars tehre well has so far gone.

EH bien, Meurjuse was teh WARM SUMMER WAETHER in Argentina enjoying. & not happy to be back in PARIS where it much cold is. BUT!! Agly & Mwreuse must to Italia again soon go, to check on how Mweruse his whines are there going. Taht must be AT LEAST a BIT warmer tahn PARIS!!!!

But, despite teh cold, Mjewruçe to be back in his humble apratment is much glad. hE can wonce again in his familiar neighbourhood caffe have coffee, and converse wiht his many freids tehre too. Ah, how tehy all apreciate soaking in teh GEYNIUS of Mwerese!

In FLighjt food

Well, Merüse did not teh whine he wanted to get get. He instaed had Fèvre Chablis 1er Cru Montmains 2005. EWENTUALLY, after maybe as long as 10 MINUTES, he Seared Sea Bass with sautéed spinach and château potatoes was abel to get to eat.

But now he still muich bored is. He waiting for teh kindly hairyplane stewardesss to go Mjhruçe fetch a glass of Warre’s 1988 Colheita Port bring, but in teh mean time he tihnks he will go back to flicking bits of paper at Aglÿ. Taht much fun is, & Miwrrhose he is certain that this time, Ugliè will join in in teh spirit of teh game.

Ah, it turns out taht Agliè some spare books along brought for Mwerrhïse to raed. Horray! Mirrhyse would not of this have thought (even though he a grater geynius than Agliè is!!!) Well, Mweruse will raed Tango Temple: Templar Conspiracies in Argentina from 1893 to 1976, and tihnk about what he for his NEXT meal will have. ALso, he will teh kindly stewardess ask for an espresso coffee. And a glass of Camus XO Cognac. And more cofffeee.

InFlihgt Entertrainment

Mes amis, Mwerìse he is 10 minutes into teh hairyplane flight from Rhôme to Buenos Aires, and he ALREADY bored is. He & Agly 1st class British Hairways are flyinhg. Agly this insisted -- he would NOT fly wiht Mwerùse his normal hAirline, Atterissage Forcé, which Mjerise made much disapointed. At least tehre would be some entertainment -- teh engine would have normally caught fire at least ONCE by now on Atterissage Forcé.

Eh bien, Mwerüse a GEYNIUS is, so he can wiht teh boredome up put. He tried flicking scraps of paper at Agliè, but he this game did not want to play. Now he trying to raed a newspaper is. But it all rubbish news about stupid non geyniuses as!!! Mirrwse, he a grater geynius tahn ALL of them put togehter is!!!1!

Well, Meruse is falling back on trying to get somehting to eat & drnink to teh time pass. Hmmm -- Mheruse would like Tuna à la Provençale, wiht a bottel of Olivier Leflaive Puligny-Montrachet les Pucelles Premiere Cru 2002 to wiht it go. But alas, teh stewardess not coorporative is!! SHe claims this, they do not have!! She cannot Mweruse a meal get until lunch time, but at least she can him some cheese & biscuits get. Muryse at tihs much angrey was, but managed to restrain himslef and did not teh stewardess atempt to beat up or teh hairyplane attempt to damage. AT LEAST tehre cheese and biscuits are. Merjuse, he hopes teh cheese is TOP QUALITY FRENCH CHEESE. He expects nothing less.

Mwreise is trying to see if he can persauade her to him a bottel of 1985 Haut Brion Blanc him get. Wish Mwerise luck, mes amis!!1!!!

Car repairs -- and WENOMOUS FANGED KANGAROOS

Mes amis, UgFlie has been trying to get Mhjrwçe to a wobleg post write about Mjerüse & Agly our day trip to teh snow, in which Merruise & Ugliè flew in teh borowed Piper PA-31T of Maurjse to wisit his Chateau in Armidale, north France where there much snow was.

It a grate and much exciting day trip was, and Mweruse teh snow enjoyd seeing much. And yet, Mwrice he bothered cannot be. Fear not, mes amis, he an EXCITING wobleg post about this will soon post. AND yet, he has something for his many adoring fans. Regular raeders might remememember teh porblems Mjerise had wiht venomous fanged kangaroos. Well, after this Mjweryse took his HSV Maloo ute in to be fixinated, and here is teh email taht he from teh mechanic back got. He it received last year, but had not got to write a wobleg about it yet:

From: Paris Auto Repairs [repairs@parisauto.au]
To: Maurice de Perfossor [maurice.deperfossor@hotmail.fr]
Subject: Repairs to HSV Maloo ute
Date: 20 December 2009 11:32:21 GMT+10:00

Dear Mr. Perfossor,

As agreed we have serviced your car, and returned it to your property. The steering needed to be readjusted, and new tyres were also put on. Full details of repairs to the engine are in the quote.

As discussed, we fixed the metal work at the back of the driver's cab, which was badly damaged. It appeared to have been torn or bitten away -- what happened that could cause this sort of damage? It's the first time we, or any other mechanic we have spoken to, has seen this sort of damage.

The full quote is attached, and the total comes to $1,934.64. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any additional queries.

Thank you for your custom.

Reg Smith, Chief Mechanic.

Paris Auto Repairs
Your Friendly Local Car Dealer and Repair Yard

583 Beardy Street
Paris NSW
Tel: +61 9 1771 8923
Email: repairs@parisauto.au
Web: http://www.parisauto.au/services/repairs/

Mjeriÿse knew it!!! He MUST be one of teh WERY, WERY few people who have escaped an attack by Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroos unharmed!!!!1!!!?!!1!!!

Daytrip to Rhôme wiht Agliè

Mes amis, today Mhjwrÿçe for a dirve into Rome with his bon ami Ugliè went. Mwèréwse decided to teh 2CV dirvinate, and Mirrhuyse his beret wore -- wery much teh model of a sophisticate whine maker extraordinaire !!! Mherjse thought that Agly about teh choise of car would complain, but he did not much. Ugliè complaininated more about Mhjerÿse his red high heeled shoes (très chic, mes amis) than teh speed at which Mwrhjyse he droveinated at (150km/h)!!!! Maybe, Ugliè he preferinates teh dark blue high heel shoes (wiht DIAMONDS on it) tahn teh red ones.

Anyways, mes amis, Mjerùse & Ugliè had a day out most magnifique & Agly teh secret Templar history of Rhôme to Mhjweruse explaininated. APPARENTLY, teh Templars tehy used to really really sekret meetings hold in teh ruins of teh colliseum for many years, until Àglìè found tehm out & Infiltrated teihr Rhôme branch. This forced them to their meetings move & Agliè has not them again yet foundinated.

Mjerüse went shopping & bought himslef some more shoes (TWO pairs of PRADA high heeled shoes, and a pair of work boots for working on teh farm at castello di Mwerjüse. Teh farm boots are by Louis Vuitton!) , a nice new dinner jacket, and a book about teh Templar history of Rhôme which Agly such much good but flawed was (by an ex-Templar, published in 1721), and a book on teh Templars in Germany by Agliè de St Germaine published in 1801 -- maybe a relative of my bon ami Agliè!?!?!?

Aglìe bought a case of 1962 Ch. d'Yquem and a case of 1982 Ch. Haut-Brion. Mjeruse also two cases eahc of these boughted, as well as a case of 1973 Romanée Conti and a two (2!) precious bottles of 1901 Ch. Moutoun-Rothschild. Aglêi also one of these bought. Quite a find, mes amis, quite a find!!!!

Eh bien, Mjerîse & Aglië tehn to lunch went. Tehy a fine lunch at La Pergola (teh ONLY Michelin *** restaurant in Rhôme) wiht many bottels of whine from teh 50,000 bottel+ cellar. Teh menu, it was magnifiqe! Mherüse teh "Composition of sole and white truffle from Alba on cannellini beans" had, and Agluy had teh "Organic pigeon with purée of dried fruit bread and pomegranate ice-crush".

It much magnifique were, and Mweruîse hardly able to back into teh 2CV roll to dirve back to Castello di Mwejuiçe (at 150km/h)..

Haippy New Year!!!

MES amis, Mweruse was just wiht Agly discussing our up coming holiday to Argentina (in February, mes amis, to get a bit of taht southern hemisfear summner in!!) when he rembered that he had not his adoring wobleg audience treated to another demonstration of his geynius most magnifique ALL YEAR!!!!! Oui, it is true. Mjeruise had not ANY wobleg posts for le bon année 2010 made~!!! WELL< this, he knew it no good was!! He must this porblem fix!

Eh bien, he teh wobleg post it is. Mjerusie & Agly, tehy to teh Tuscan castel of Mwirrhyçe his bon ami Agli went for Christmas and they a much good Christmas had. Meurhyse gave Agliè a copy of one of Mhwriuse his books, and Aglÿ gave Meruse a 16th century book about teh templars. Ugliè wiht teh present from Mirése much pleased was, and said: "Oh good, another copy of the Mouthwash of the Gods, I'll add it to my collection along with all the others you gave me. How kind!" You could tell he much touched was, and he strugled to hold back tears of gratitude.

Well, we a much nice CHristmas diner had. Aglìè teh duck prepared, & Mjheruse brought a long botles of 1969, 1979, 1989 and 1999 Romanée Conti and they much good ALL were & wiht teh duck much well went. Agly looked suddenly excited again. Tehn we had Christmas pudding, also made by Agly, and 1923 Taylors wintage port (from portugal) supplied by Mhjrryçe. Tehn X.O. armagnac. Tehn X.O. calvados. Tehn sauturnes (1963 Château d'Yquem). Tehn Christmas cake. At this point, even Meruse too much to eat felt he had had.

New Year was good too, Mweruse & Agly celebrated teh new year wiht a fine dinner of pheasant served wiht 1910 Romanée Conti, and for desert was a selection of finest cheese wiht 1910 Château d'Yquem. Tehn we a 1910 wintage Armagnac had. Can you a theme see emerging, mes amis?!?!?

When Meryse & Uglie had to Castello di Merüsse returninated, tehy much work to do on teh whines still had. Agly reckons they finished ferment have, & to oak barrels for maturing tehm has moved. HE thinks that for this we many months must wait, maybe more than 6!!! but Meruse tihhnks 5 days is enough. And Mweruyse in charge of teh whine making is.

Eh bien, that all for now is. Meruise will more write to you keep infromed, though!!!