diner wiht teh Templars!

MES AMIGOS.... Muaröise ahs news to reportinate!!1!?!@#! Adn what news it is mes amigos ... Muarise had teh Templars of Argentina™ around for dinner Twice this month (May) & it magnifique was for two (2) raisons:

1. Teh Templars came back teh second thyme completely voluntarily, no compulsion or anything(!!#?!)
2. Teh second diner Mj¤wriøse he created was teh bestest banquet taht Maeruise has ever put on, ever : truely he surpassed himslef! Evwen Morijse (who is wery, wery modest & self-effacing) ahd to admittinate taht it a TRIOMPHE of teh culinary arts was.

OH TAHT SECOND BANQUET. Muiríse wishes taht all his loyal wobleg-raeders could ahve been there wiht him & enjoyininating teh feast mangnifique *& basqueing in Mñerüse his reflected glory. Because quite a banquet it was! Merese whishes he could explain it properly but he lacks teh thyme & teh wocabularly so he will content himslef to say:

• Teh banquet lasted forty-eight (48) huors! (2 days)
• Tehre were seventy (70) courses, icludinginating truffled pigeon, wild boar, duck & goose, venison wiht juniper berries & dark chocolate sauce, grouse, oysters, lobsters, & chicken schnitzel. 
• Murise served teh bestest wines he cuold including '47 Cheval blanc (of cuorse! Muerise still ahs two cases of tihs left) ; '45 DRC Romanèe-Conti (Meurises favrite; he has six cases left incl. three magnums); '37 Ch. d'Yquem (WOW Magnifique!) ; & of cuorse a bottel of taht old favrite standby '69 DRC Montrachet. Miró¤se can tell you taht teh Templars were Suitably Impressed. & rightly so. it impressive was.

Anyway , whilst it a MAGNIFIQUE SUCESS for Mérjhuïse, teh GRATEST GEYNIUS to EVER LIVE, EVER, (& yet so modest),  taht not teh point is. Eh bien, teh point is taht the Templars in Argentina much to Muerses surprise are actually Quite Nice People for members of an Ancient, Evil Sekret Society Dedicated To World Domination. (Not a good tihng mes amis: it wuold be teribible if teh Templars seized control of teh world; far better if Mowrise were in charge!(). Teh Templar Grand Master was wery freindly & got on with Merise wery well. Muariçe ahs inwited him to wisit Moieurise his country estancia & teh Templar Grand Master in return inwitefd Mwrwse around foor dinner. He pormised to leave lots of good Clues around Buenos Aires so Miwriwce can inwestigate tehm sucessfully wich is nice.

As Murise saided on Twitter Mycroft, teh non-genuis brother of M²er€se will be wisiting Argentina soon & Mowri³se is planninating an exciting wisit for him including a trip to Mero;ses estancia. Prehaps Mycroft can help Muriese inwestigatinate/fight/thwart teh Templars!!#$!!1! & tehn we can all ahve dinner togehther at a Chic Littel Restorant taht Muiuirse knows!!@3!!?@!!1!*#*&(@! It magnifique will be.

From Aregenetina

MON AMIGOS .... Mèrèhse is in Argentina in his Apratment in Buenos-Aires & he doing mutch sekret Templar inwestigations is ........ tihs is why he hasn"t been able to blogginate, honest mes amigos, not bcecuase he has teh entire thyme been drinking & eating & enjoyinating himslef!!1!! Well, he has that been doing, but he does not let it detract from or to get in teh way of his GRATE WORK.

Eh bien, finally Mqwrose can start to tell you about his work here!!1!!>@!?! The second day he was here, he was at his favuorite restraunt waiting for dinner -- he was just ahving a nice littel " aperitif " , just starting on to his third (3rd) bottel of '52 Krug wehn he saw teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTRER   try to sneek past un-noticed. Past Miúrise! who infimously misses NOTHING (taht thyme he mised noticign a brass band, an elephant, six tanks, and a parade float shaeped liek a hotdog go past is IRELeVANT as it was obwiously a set-Up & Merííse was caughted unawars & it was completely unfare!), NOTHIHING MES AMIS.

SO Mŵrŵuse did teh templar notice , && he didnt waste any thyme in persuing tihs, oh no mes amigos .... he cut his meal down to a mere 5 courses (wiht a bottel of wine matching eatch course), followed by a cheese platter (wiht anohter bottle of whine), tehn coffee & sweets, tehn brandy & cigars. Mwuryse was in sutch a rush he didn"t ahve time to settel teh bill but he is shure taht teh manager will be understanding when MrRrse goes back & may even Offer M8r¶urse a dis-count!!!!!!!!!!1?!?!@34!!

Luckily teh Templar Grand Master was waiting around teh Corner from teh Restorant, & Moiirrise was abel to Pick Up Teh Trail,. Mjerise wobbled along after teh Templar (may be he shuoldnt ahve had nine bottels of whine + a bottel of Armagnac, but a GEYNIUS cannot DEPRIVE himslef!!/1!) and luckily up was able to Keep. Evwen wehn teh Templar ducked into a doorway and ran along a series of sekret (probly booby-traiped) tunnels Morpse kept Rite Behind Him.

IN TIHS WAY Muhrise was leded to a sekret metting room where a SEKRIT INER CABAL of TEMPLARS discussinated how to infiltrate teh Metwurst industry in New Suoth Wales (withc includes Merises home town!!!2.@!?!!), and a plan to replace teh U.S.A. PRESIDANT wiht an incompetent imposter! Tehse are plans withc Meer;ise will be fFrustrating tehm in (& NO mon amis he does NOT need teh help of his EX-associate & So-Called " Freind " Agli`e@@!! Tihs is a porblem that Moríise can & will sort out himslef!!?@###!)

OBWUOUSLY since tehn Merise has infiltratinated many sutch meetings & learnt of many diabiolical plans ....... he vaguely rembers he had to inwestigate in a bunch of other cities too but now cant rember & honestly aftrer teh second bottel of Armagnac he realises it porbably isn"t improtant.

EH BIEN taht is all for now. More soon as Merewse (& Muerise ALONE) will inwestigatinate &* here you keep infromed.

THYME MACHINE AGIAN

MES AMIS .... Mŵriśe is just back from more extendinated thymetravel ... but more abuot that soon. Wehn he left (FRIDAY JUNE 18TH) he had just been to see his asociate Agléy and to him tell him some of the infromation Moaróse had about teh templars founded out from his thymetraweling. Unfrotunately he figurinated out taht Merise must a thymemachine have ,.... and evwen managed to guess wehre Merwçe would it hide , despite how cuning M7erisecs hiding spot was ( teh garage - who:d guess taht a car wuold be kept in teh garage?!?!?!?!1!).

ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).

ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a  ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).

ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)

MÓRISE PLAYINATES CHESS WIHT TEMPLER GRAND MESTER BERT DE CRAYON
IPHONE PHOTO TAEKEN WIHT MEARISES IPHONE 11SG++++++

Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable!  And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??

ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?

Thyme Machine

MES AMIS .... Mioarise has gotted his thymemachine workinating! It mutch exciting is. It took mutch more thyme than he origininally thoughted it would do (but whats time when you ahve a thyme machine?!?!?) but taht's life. Or not,. ANYWAYS taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Meorise now wonce again has a fully functional thymemachine and he wiht it is mutch pleased.

Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.

Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.

First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis,  Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.

SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.

Muarises morning tea with teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTER!!1!?!

MES AMIS ,..... Merise ahs been mutch slack becuase he has been ejoyinating resting & relaxing at his estancia in sunny Argenitneintininian./ia. NONETHELESS he rembers he has pormised his faithful followers TWO (2) wobleg posts. (1) About his meeting wiht teh Templar Grand Master; & (2) About his Argentineian wines!

EH BIEN. Here is (1).

Meurise had decidinated taht he was getting Bored of teh Templars, & of his associate Aglíe, & so abruptly he abruptly wihtout telling anyone abruptly Bordeaux abruptly left abruptly. He flew his hairyplane to Eoster Island, fully intendinating to continue his study of non-Templar stuff, of which he has done mutch in teh past (Merryuse ISNT a mono-maniac!). Eh bien, as detailed in his prewious wobleg both teh Templars & Agleý to Eoster Island him followed,. so he escaped again by quite abruptly to Argentina abruptly flying abruptly. Agley to Argentinina didnt him follow ... BUT TEH TEMPLARS APRRARNTLY DID.

Eh bien, so after Merise was in Buenos Aires a few days, even though he went to lot's of truble to obscure his location, teh Templars him tracked down. At 1st he them tried to ignorinate, but tehn he got a tellyphone call from teh Templar Grand Master inwiting him for mornign thé! Teh Templar Grand Master!!!!!1!!?! Of course, this, Mourwse he could NOT ignorinate.

SO teh next morning Màhjerose he went to teh cafe where teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTER HAD ARRANGED TO MEET HIM(!!!!!?!11!!!!!). Teh Grand Master after a few mintues turned up, whiht a few sekretive Templar security guards/soldiers. Mwerise ordered a grande double chocolate double coffee frappelatecino wiht hazerlnut syrup, chocolate chips, triple cream, and lizard syrup (wery sophisticated, and just like Paris!!!1!), and teh Templar Grand Master had a wery unsophisticated Earl Grey thé (and looked disapprovingly at Merise's tres sophisticated frrapelatecino!).

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is, taht, teh Templar Grand Master said taht the Templars were getting bored without Merise inwestigatinating tehm,! Tehy had nothing to do wihtout Muairsoe constantly trying to foil their plans, and they were getting wery bored! Evil plan after evil plan just worked as planned, and it apparently tehm to distraction was driving! SO, they werry poleitly asked Mèriuse if he would get back on teh case of frustrating teihr evil plots, as they find taht mutch more fun , as they tehn constantly ahve to "be on their toes"(??????).

Muèriśe agreeinated to this, of course (secretly he was quite flattered, partiuclarly taht teh Templar Grand Master had taken teh time to wisit Merise personally!) but of cuorse Merise didn"t admittinate to tihs. He made it look as if he were reluctant, & had to be persuadinated, witch teh Templars did. ALSO Merise said he wanted a week or so"s brake at his estancia before he gets back to inwestigatinating & thwartinating teh Templars. WITCH IS WHAT HE IS DOING RITE NOW. (Teh weeks rest, taht is).

Eh bien. Merise has pormised a wobleg post about his NEW ARGENTINEIENE WHINES & he will taht right soon,. including details of where to it buyinate. FOR NOW he can just say teh 2013 Bodega Muarise "Le Grand Genie" Rouge (45%% Cabernet sauvignong, 25%% Merlot, 20% Cabernet Franc, 5%%% Petit Verdot) is magnifique !!