Bon novelle-year!

Well, mes amis, its wahtever teh new year is (Merise is confuwesed due to thymetravel) & Moóriße has finally managed to stabilise his thymemachine & is now back to being in one time &* place witch is surprisingly relaxing comprared with being trapped in the interstitial time vortex (which he was since Janruary 2016!). Many tihngs have changed since Mwrwce posted here last & he will here updatinate you ! :

• M¼er³se has changed his email address from HotMaile to GeeMail.! New emale address is: muarice.deprefossor ___AT____ GMaile.con. Email him there soon!
• M8r8se has lost his job at teh L'Université du Délire Iguane, as he didnt' manage to get there at all during 2016. Stupid nongeynius uniwersities, as if turning up to some stupid nongeynius office & teaching stupid nongenius students could ever be a requihrment for a GEYNIUS to keep hold of his job. !!!!!?!?1!!!
• CONSEQUENTLY Mèrèésé will now be working Full Thyme at Manutius press as an ediotr. Luckily he can work from his many hosues for tihs. No Need to move to Milan & to work in some nongeynius office wiht nongeynius so-called colleagues! 
• Moarice's nongeynius brohter Mycroft has moved permanently to Bordeaux & has taken over Morwses chateau tehre, wich he is now calling Chatêau [CLASSIFIED] (becuase he in inteligence used to work --  hence teh stupid nongeynius nonfunny so-called "joke"!). Mùerise heres taht he is making a wery nice Pauillac whine there.
• Maerhise is now trying to awoid Aglie as he finds him wery iritating.
• Murice wuold like to find sometihng else other than teh Templars to re-search,. Its" fun & all re-searching tehm & MErise this does not want to stop, BUT also he doesn'ot want to a monomaniac become.
• &
•  

Eh, that is all for now mes amigos.................

A new job for Maurise!

MES AMIS!! Muwryse he good news much has! He a new job has!!!

Last night, he was in his house moust beautitiful in Paris Australia when he a telelephone calll got! The Université de la Nouvelle-Angleterre in Armidale France has given Muaroswe a job, as professor of norse archaeology and cybertechology. Muarise, he wait cannot!

Well, mes amis, he has not yet decided what courseses he will be there teaching. You will be able to find out at:
http://www.uni-armidale.fr/en/cyberarch/staff/mdeperfossor/
Watch that spot mes amis!!!

Rest assured though, mes amis, that Muaryse will still his course "HIS987 The Norse Gods and Oral Hygiene: A study of Dental Wash and Dental Floss Usage Before AD 1100" for thte Université du Délire Iguane teachinate. He will not let his students most loyal down! No, mes amis, he will not!!!

The talk most magnifique!

Mes amis! Mwryse his talk was went so much well! It, it was most wonderful! The most fascinating and interesting talk to be this year given!

And his audience, of Maerwse they were most appreciative! As many as seven (7!) people came, and at least ten percent of them remained RIGHT up to the finish of the talk by Murrhyse the magnifique.

The professor of the department, he was so overcome with joy that he burst in to tears. He said, "Well Muwruse, you have really set your reputation in this town for good!" ANd Miuyrse he must with him agree. Now Mauwryse will be the favourite resident of Paris Australia, in demand much for speeches and talks at all occaisions. Will Mwarose he have the time to all of this do? Miorhyse he knows not!

Well, MES AMIS, soon Muarhse will have to go back to university, and his course "HIS987 The Norse Gods and Oral Hygiene: A study of Dental Wash and Dental Floss Usage Before AD 1100" for thte Université du Délire Iguane teachinate. How Murise he cannot wait!

It most exciting is, but my little would be étudiants, you can already for this course most magnifique enrole online! Just your web browsers point to http://student.uni-delireiguane.fr/EN/units/HIS/HIS987/ENROL-ONLINE/ to enrol online! And soon you will be basking in the genius of Mawruse.

Talk tonight!!

Mes amis, Muarwse his talk on tonight is! The details, they are here:

Title: Elephants and Iguanas in Viking and Pre-Viking Norweigan Art
Speaker: Mawruse de Parfossor
Time: 8:30 pm - 10:00 pm (including 15 minte break)
Location: Room π/2, Unsta Ble-Wobbly Building, Archaeology Department, University of Paris Australia

More details:
http://archaeology.upa.edu.au/events/2008/08/Talk-MdePerf.html


Well, mes amis, I will not much more writinate as Muarywse he must for the big evening prepare! But if you are in Paris, Australia do feel free to come to the talk!!! Muarise he looks forward to seeing you there!

Eh bien, Muwrse he must go now! He has a talk to prepare!!!

Back in the South of France!!!!!

Well, mes amis, it was a long drive back to Armidale France to Maerrhyse his house keys for his house in the south of france pick up. But now, Muroce he has them. And Mawryse he is now safe in his house & home in teh south of france once again.

Soon, Maerowse will of his adventures walking to Armidale France write so that his raeders most devoted can all about it raed. ALso, he must his new course "HIS987 The Norse Gods and Oral Hygiene: A study of Dental Wash and Dental Floss Usage Before AD 1100" for hte Université du Délire Iguane prepare.

But now, mes amis, murrhise he must get some sleep. It was too long a drive, mes amis, too long!

At home in Armidale, France

Maerowse, he once again is in his modest home most baeutiful near Armidale in northeast France. Mes amsi, here is a picture of this most beauautiful hose that Merriuse he has used on this wobleg before:


By Steve Jurvetson, on wikipedia

Well, mes amis, Muaryse he is much releived to be in his own hosue&home back again. Well, mes amsis, he now feels a rest he must have. Then he will to his house le South of FRance go back, and get started on his new Novel. 

Also, he will start preparing for his new unit he will be taeching called "HIS987 The Norse Gods and Oral Hygiene: A study of Dental Wash and Dental Floss Usage Before AD 1100". THis, it is based on matearial from Maeroshes book Teh Mouthwash of the gods which will of course the set text for the course be.

Enrole now, mes amis! It will be a course most magnifique, and mAeruhse he predicts that it will be oversubscribed wihtin seconds of being offered. SECONDS, mes amis!

More on his novel new later, mes amis....

Rescue!

Mes amis, Mauricse has been rescued! Whilst sitting on the beach of his private dessert island, he was spotted by a ship most wondeful, the S.S. Cado. Mowryçe was meditating on the essential unity of the TV news networks, when a ship pulled up just off shore, and the captain he asked if I any assitance needed.

Well, Morrhyse, he was not slow to ask if he could be rescued. I of my trials explained, and of how I was stranded on this desert island most infernal. After I had explained them for a few hours, the good captian offered to rescue me. A small boat out to me he sent, and on this I was to the good ship Cado taken on this small boat.

Well, you can imagine Mawrhy∫e's joy at being rescued, and of having company human once again. It is most refreshing to enjoy dinner time conversation with intelligent people such as the good capitan of this vessel most worthy. Right now, Mawrhyse has spent a relaxing hour in the ships only shower, and is now going to go and work on his next block buster novel, The Mouthwash of the Gods.

But first Murryse has just a few phone calls to mkae -- to his publisher, to his students, to his colleages most wonderful, to his family and friends. I am most certain that the captian most wonderful would not mind if I borrowed satellite phone for a few hours so Moryçe (who is after all a genius) can make some phone calls. Such things are necissary for geniuses like Mawruße.

Marooned!

I think, my friends, the most important question is: why is it "marooned"? Why not some other colour? Reded? Blueed? Purpled? Greened? This is the question that has been going round and round in Maurisssssse's head since he was Marooned on this deserted island late last month.

But, mes amis, you deserve a more thorugh account of Mowrice's trials. So I will start at the beggining, and start there to tell you about how I came to be alone on this desert island, all alone.

It started on Saturday 27th October, when I left my home near Armidale, France to fly to my other home near Paris, Australia. Naturally, I flew with the airline Elast Ickband Air the world's number 900 airline as I hoped this company, it would be very good. Alas, mes amis, they were not.

At first, the flight it was going well. Mowrrhyse had managed to get into the First Class without anyone noticing that his ticket it was really Cattle Class. Murrrace had a book launch to look forward to when he arrived in Australia, the launch of his new messterpiece Escaping Paradox: A New Methodology in Neolithic Spaceship Construction. Alas, this launch, I was never to see how well it went. Events started to conspire against Morrice about an hour into the flight.

First, a flight attendant noticed that Morrhyse, he was not ment to be in First Class. Naturally, when I was told that Mawrrhyse could not in First Class remain but must to Cattle Class go, I reacted with the calmness and composure for which Mawryße is famous. I tried to explain my case rationally, but maybe Mowryse he got overexcited. Even so, the stewardess she should not have made so much fuss over a small injury inflicted where Morrice bit her, and only about three rows of chairs were damaged beyond repair. 

Well, mes amis, from then on I was in Cattle Class. I do not know at what time it was, but then the plane started developing engine problems. Mawrice, he noticed that both engines were on fire. Soon, the fire it spread to the main body of the plane. This would seem like an insoluble problem but, remember, Morrice is a genius! And no problem is insoluble for a genius like Mawryse. So Maurrice got down his hand luggage and pulled out his snakeskin-patterned parachute, and put it on. He then opened the door and he jumped out.

I then landed in the sea somewhere, and looked up only to see the plane explodinate in a fireball. Mes amis, Maurrice was veyr happy that he was not on that plane any more.

After a day drifting in the sea, Mahryse drifted up on this island. Luckilly Maurrhyse had food in his bag so could still eat. Also, the island has plentiful wild food. Yesterday, Mowrryse hunted and caught some wild tinned confit de canard, and was also able to trap some pâté de fois gras that fell into his trap. Also, he can get a weak WiFi signal from some distant access point. Also, he found that there are power points between the clumps of marram grass - no need to worry about the battery of the laptop becoming deadinated!

So, here I wait, hoping someone will rescue Morryse one day...

Mawrise's voice over IP

Mes amis, do not think that in being lost on a desertted island, Mhyrryse has forgotten his students back at the université. No, mes amis, Mhyrece remembers them still! Until today the university had needed to employ a stand-in lecturer, but no one can stand in for the genius of Maerrice! 

However, today I found that by the magic of modern technology, I can still give my lectures! Yes, my friends, even though I am cast away on a desert island, because I can get internet access, I can do anything!

Today, I figured out how to use the wonderful software Skype to make a video call. With a scype wideo call, Mawrhhece can gives his lectures from afar! My students were so pleased to bask yet again in my wisdom, that they cried from joy.

From my island, I can give my lectures, read papers, and work on my new book about the Tesconians and the Colesmyerians, both breakaway 31st century religious sects. I refuse to mention the Walmartians, they were too horrible for words.

So, Maurrhyse continues with his great work, although without much of the daily grind of teaching, and with little contact to students or faculty


hmm maybe this desert island, it is not so bad after all...

Archaeology of France in the Polystyrene Age

Well, mon amis, it's a few months into a new year at Université du Délire Iguane. Yet again I am teeching my unit ARCH371 "Archaeology of France in the Polystyrene Age (c. 5000BC-2900AD)".

This is my favourite unit ever, dripping with the pure geynius of Morrice! And yet, it seems that the dullard students reconise it not! Nearly none of them bother to turn up to Mawryse's lectures most splendide, and the few that do just sit around and point and luagh. I cannot understant this. Ah well, they will be fighting, yes, fighting to get into Maüriße's classes when my next book is published. Then Maoriçe will have his revenge.

And speaking of revenge, I must make certain to get it right this time. Mowryse will not repeat the mistakes of last time, no sir! It was just by luck that I, Marise, got out of that one alive. I was protected only by my white lead makeup, which shielded me from the radiation.