Tuesday, 8 May 2018


MON AMIGOS ……………. Muerise is still alive & Well evwvne though he a shrort Break from blogginating took. He did wonder if he should post a picture wiht a current newspraprer to prowinate that he stil alivwe is but tehn he forgot & didn":t,. Eh bien……

ANYWAY TAHT NOT TEH POINT IS. Teh point is taht Meriiise is now in Buenos Aires -- or as he, internet GEYNIUS, calls it, #BuenosAires. He was in Armidale NSW Australie where he a wery inowative wine estate owniniates but he had a minor disagreeement wiht teh manerger tehre, whitch led to a minor argument, & Meeiwrise stormed off. Muerise managed to keep his cool & didntt shuot or throw stuff abuot two mutch, & teh porperty damage is praps ltd to US$54,000 withc is hardly anything. Merrrriçes brilliant idea was to harwest ALL teh grapes on teh same day & fermentinate tehm all in teh same vat, tehn extract tehm out & bottel tehm all seprately aftrewards,. SIMPLES. GEYNIUS. Yet teh (Stupid NONGEYNIUS) manger liekd it NOT! In teh end morose consieded this agrument& flew to #BuenosAires insted. 

Now Mearíse cuold have done teh expectinated tihng& flown to his estate in Argentina & tried out taht plan here ……. but he did NOT , as he a geynius is & isnt to be bothering himslef with doing expectable, sensibible tihngs. NO, he flew his newly apointed A-380-CUSTOM (wiht onbored bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchens, bangq1uette halls, whine cellars, & evwen a garage so he a car can iwhtht him takeinate) DIWECTLY  tO #BueonsAires (leveing Armidale Mar-9-2018 & ariwinating in #buenosaires 29th-March-2018,a short direwct 20 day flight via Iceland, China, & NewZeeland) & has spent teh past few weeks writinating & inwestigating fiendish sekrit templar plots taht are currantly two sekrit two post abuot here..... FOR NOW. BUT WATCH TIHS SPACE MON AMIGO.  Yes tahts rite, Mesrihse in fact means this spesfic space rite here --->   <---- wathc it vigilently without sleeping/blinking./etc for teh next few weeks, .

ANYWAY TAHT NOT TEH POINT IS., The point is (1) MErise is a grate geynius; (2) Miaeerise is curwrently in Buenos Aires , (3) Moarihse is curwently inwestigatinating sekrit Templar conspireacies ;., (5) Mwrise is a geynius, (344.4) He has a new hairyplane ; (7) he forgotted waht item seven was going to be, (6.3111132) & taht not teh point is ; *(9)  ?????l; (10.2) More blog posts soon, including a rewelation abuot teh sekrit TEMPLAR plots.

Also Merrrise is NOT lieking Migrosoft EDGE so-called wobbrowser, particularly teh way it keeps attemptinating to CORRECT Mwerìses GEYNIUS spelling .,e.g., substitutinating "THE" (obwiously worng!) for Mòróses OBWIOUSLY CORECT 'TEH',.

Thursday, 1 June 2017

diner wiht teh Templars!

MES AMIGOS.... Muaröise ahs news to reportinate!!1!?!@#! Adn what news it is mes amigos ... Muarise had teh Templars of Argentina™ around for dinner Twice this month (May) & it magnifique was for two (2) raisons:

  1. Teh Templars came back teh second thyme completely voluntarily, no compulsion or anything(!!#?!)
  2. Teh second diner Mj¤wriøse he created was teh bestest banquet taht Maeruise has ever put on, ever : truely he surpassed himslef! Evwen Morijse (who is wery, wery modest & self-effacing) ahd to admittinate taht it a TRIOMPHE of teh culinary arts was.
OH TAHT SECOND BANQUET. Muiríse wishes taht all his loyal wobleg-raeders could ahve been there wiht him & enjoyininating teh feast mangnifique *& basqueing in Mñerüse his reflected glory. Because quite a banquet it was! Merese whishes he could explain it properly but he lacks teh thyme & teh wocabularly so he will content himslef to say:
  • Teh banquet lasted forty-eight (48) huors! (2 days)
  • Tehre were seventy (70) courses, icludinginating truffled pigeon, wild boar, duck & goose, venison wiht juniper berries & dark chocolate sauce, grouse, oysters, lobsters, & chicken schnitzel. 
  • Murise served teh bestest wines he cuold including '47 Cheval blanc (of cuorse! Muerise still ahs two cases of tihs left) ; '45 DRC Romanèe-Conti (Meurises favrite; he has six cases left incl. three magnums); '37 Ch. d'Yquem (WOW Magnifique!) ; & of cuorse a bottel of taht old favrite standby '69 DRC Montrachet. Miró¤se can tell you taht teh Templars were Suitably Impressed. & rightly so. it impressive was.
Anyway , whilst it a MAGNIFIQUE SUCESS for Mérjhuïse, teh GRATEST GEYNIUS to EVER LIVE, EVER, (& yet so modest),  taht not teh point is. Eh bien, teh point is taht the Templars in Argentina much to Muerses surprise are actually Quite Nice People for members of an Ancient, Evil Sekret Society Dedicated To World Domination. (Not a good tihng mes amis: it wuold be teribible if teh Templars seized control of teh world; far better if Mowrise were in charge!(). Teh Templar Grand Master was wery freindly & got on with Merise wery well. Muariçe ahs inwited him to wisit Moieurise his country estancia & teh Templar Grand Master in return inwitefd Mwrwse around foor dinner. He pormised to leave lots of good Clues around Buenos Aires so Miwriwce can inwestigate tehm sucessfully wich is nice.

As Murise saided on Twitter Mycroft, teh non-genuis brother of M²er€se will be wisiting Argentina soon & Mowri³se is planninating an exciting wisit for him including a trip to Mero;ses estancia. Prehaps Mycroft can help Muriese inwestigatinate/fight/thwart teh Templars!!#$!!1! & tehn we can all ahve dinner togehther at a Chic Littel Restorant taht Muiuirse knows!!@3!!?@!!1!*#*&(@! It magnifique will be.

Saturday, 13 May 2017

From Aregenetina

MON AMIGOS .... Mèrèhse is in Argentina in his Apratment in Buenos-Aires & he doing mutch sekret Templar inwestigations is ........ tihs is why he hasn"t been able to blogginate, honest mes amigos, not bcecuase he has teh entire thyme been drinking & eating & enjoyinating himslef!!1!! Well, he has that been doing, but he does not let it detract from or to get in teh way of his GRATE WORK.

Eh bien, finally Mqwrose can start to tell you about his work here!!1!!>@!?! The second day he was here, he was at his favuorite restraunt waiting for dinner -- he was just ahving a nice littel " aperitif " , just starting on to his third (3rd) bottel of '52 Krug wehn he saw teh TEMPLAR GRAND MASTRER   try to sneek past un-noticed. Past Miúrise! who infimously misses NOTHING (taht thyme he mised noticign a brass band, an elephant, six tanks, and a parade float shaeped liek a hotdog go past is IRELeVANT as it was obwiously a set-Up & Merííse was caughted unawars & it was completely unfare!), NOTHIHING MES AMIS.

SO Mŵrŵuse did teh templar notice , && he didnt waste any thyme in persuing tihs, oh no mes amigos .... he cut his meal down to a mere 5 courses (wiht a bottel of wine matching eatch course), followed by a cheese platter (wiht anohter bottle of whine), tehn coffee & sweets, tehn brandy & cigars. Mwuryse was in sutch a rush he didn"t ahve time to settel teh bill but he is shure taht teh manager will be understanding when MrRrse goes back & may even Offer M8r¶urse a dis-count!!!!!!!!!!1?!?!@34!!

Luckily teh Templar Grand Master was waiting around teh Corner from teh Restorant, & Moiirrise was abel to Pick Up Teh Trail,. Mjerise wobbled along after teh Templar (may be he shuoldnt ahve had nine bottels of whine + a bottel of Armagnac, but a GEYNIUS cannot DEPRIVE himslef!!/1!) and luckily up was able to Keep. Evwen wehn teh Templar ducked into a doorway and ran along a series of sekret (probly booby-traiped) tunnels Morpse kept Rite Behind Him.

IN TIHS WAY Muhrise was leded to a sekret metting room where a SEKRIT INER CABAL of TEMPLARS discussinated how to infiltrate teh Metwurst industry in New Suoth Wales (withc includes Merises home town!!!2.@!?!!), and a plan to replace teh U.S.A. PRESIDANT wiht an incompetent imposter! Tehse are plans withc Meer;ise will be fFrustrating tehm in (& NO mon amis he does NOT need teh help of his EX-associate & So-Called " Freind " Agli`e@@!! Tihs is a porblem that Moríise can & will sort out himslef!!?@###!)

OBWUOUSLY since tehn Merise has infiltratinated many sutch meetings & learnt of many diabiolical plans ....... he vaguely rembers he had to inwestigate in a bunch of other cities too but now cant rember & honestly aftrer teh second bottel of Armagnac he realises it porbably isn"t improtant.

EH BIEN taht is all for now. More soon as Merewse (& Muerise ALONE) will inwestigatinate &* here you keep infromed.

Thursday, 6 April 2017

Brithday (1st Avrile) post

Mon amigos it Mèré"s brithday on teh 1st Avril was & he for it didnt raelly much do just went out for a coffeee.


Of corse Móróswe had a fantastic britdhay praty at his hosue in Armidale, NSW, Australie, wiht all teh friends taht he is currently speaking to (IE, not Agliè!!!?@!!1!!!!!#$*!). Merise ahd been planinating to have his praty in Paris Frnance but actualy he tehn changed his mind at teh last minute. He caught up in wineyard work in his wineyard here in Armidale NSW Australie had become so didn"t ahve time to flyinate back to Paris. Eh bien, he a much well stocked cellar in Armidale has so it no hardship was. He inwited his non-geynius brother Mycroft, his old enemy Lady Shelom, & his ex-PA Ratatoskr. He spended DAYS working on teh prefect menu.! Withch he will postinate here!!! At teh end of tihs post.

Eh bien, it a good praty was & went on for a couple of dayze with lots of whine & food & had ovwer 150 courses of withc he only posts a sample as an extract here at teh end. But it mutch good was.

Moruse didnt ahve as much luck in teh wineyard. He had decided to change teh grapes he grew from teh rubish PINOT NOIR & CHARDONAY taht he currentyly grows tehre is. He decided to graft owver to teh mutch more prestigious Cabernet Dorsa & indeed went along to his wineyard one day & started on it as soon as he had decided witch wines to grow . Tihs ahppeninated to be at 1 am on a Tuesday mroning but such details are IRRELIVANT to a geynius such as Moóròose dont forget. Anyway teh wineyard manager found Merose cutting grapewines down & grafitng tehm ovwer to Cabernet Dorsa at 6:30 am & ewentually Managed to argue to Merise taht PINTOT NOIR & CHARDONNEIGH were a better bet & ewentually even Moirise ahd to concede taht teh stupid plodding idiotic nongeynius wineyard manager mite ahve a point ... as PINOT NOIR & CHARDONAY are teh grapes of Burgundy a fact Merise had temprarily forgonated. Mzwrzese ahd only grafted over two rows of wines witch he left teh manager to graft back again to PINTOT NOIR, before going to PLAN HIS BRITHDAY DINNER!

Eh bien. It owver now is.Merise ahs pormised a lift back to Bordeaux to Mycroft .... teh plane is loaded ... Merise is in teh pilots seat & teh plane is feuled & ready to go & at teh end of teh runway & AIR-TRIFFIC CONROL & MYCROFT are now HASTLING Meoórse to take off cause he"s ALLEGEDLY holding up teh rest of teh hairyport ( he has TRIED explaning to tehm taht he is riting a wobleg post , & his audience canot waite , but tehy won"t listen!!@1!!#*! ) so Merise must stop NOW, full throttel, full lift, & TAKE OFF ......................................

EXTRACT from teh menu.
Omlette aux truffes
Srerved wiht: 1949 Krug Priwate Cuwée (1949 was a good wintage!)

Plat princiapuaxs
Bouillabaise (merises speciality)
Swerved wiht: 1985 DRC Montrachet 1989 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling Rangen de Thann Clos St. Urbain (OKay tihs was a new one fror Mwzerise ... he doesn"t often drink ALSACE but it wery nice was ... a gift from MYCROFT who is ok somethymes)


Eight young partidges, truffled & cased in bacon fat, cooked in cognac

Cheese plate with 64 distinct thypes of cheese from France, Germnay, Spain, USA, Australie, UK, Portugal, &  other plaices.
Chacuterie selectuioin.

Pudding aux MUres / Mu,llbery pudding
Poires Savoie
Fromage a la Creme
Srerved wiht: 1811 Chateau d'Yquem1989 Zind-Humbrecht Gewurztraminer Rangen de Thann Clos St. Urbain Sélection de Grains Nobles (OK I amdmit another gift from Mycroft who is somethyms weyry genrous)

Cognac, Armagnac, Coffes.

Monday, 13 March 2017

Muarjise in Australie (again!)


Müroße must apologisinate for not postininating anything  to tihs wobleg ... or via farceberk ... or via twytter ... or via skywriting .... for AT LÆST A MONTH!!1!?!$%@#!!!! . He KILLER JET LAG had aftrer teh wery length 12-day-fligth from Paris France to Armidale Australie via Brasil;. It an EPIC WOYAGE was.

EH BIEN. But he is here now & he ovwer his KELLER JET LAG is, so it all good is. He was going to postinate abuot what he up to in Australie has been -- he has been writing some acadæmonic pæpers , & tending to his wineyard , & redocorating teh hosue has been -- & tihs is ALL WERY INTERWESTING (as anything inwolwing Mjrjse is becuase its about Méréesse) sometihng mutch more interesting has come up.

An article has surfaced in teh non-esoteric mainstræm mædia abuot a secret hidden series of Caves made by teh Templars ... Muruses secret adwerseries. Teh artikel describes tehm as being in Shropshire, UK, but Morose isnt niave enough to beleave everytihng he raeds, especially where Templar Conspiracies are inwolwved. NONETEHELESS ... teh article is scattered with Cryptic Clues about teh Crypt ( ... heh ... Cryptic Crypt ... ! ... Heh ) for those who ahve teh Wisdom to See  it. It is obwious to Meorwse taht the Cryptic Crypt is in Lisbon, Arles, Seville, Dolgellau, or Buenos Aires. Mir1se will of cuorse ahve to travel to all of tehse plaices over teh next few months to inwestigate ........... cue EPIC KILLER JET LAG ......................... oh noes .... still it is a sacrifice taht M3r3se is preparinated to make.

Muarise has been doing some important maintainaince on his hairyplane but once taht's finished, he will hed to Lisbon f1rst. Tehn Buenos Aires. Tehn Seville. Tehn Dolgellau. Tehn Arles. But 1st he must finish his coffee & croissants.

Monday, 9 January 2017

Bon novelle-year!

Well, mes amis, its wahtever teh new year is (Merise is confuwesed due to thymetravel) & Moóriße has finally managed to stabilise his thymemachine & is now back to being in one time &* place witch is surprisingly relaxing comprared with being trapped in the interstitial time vortex (which he was since Janruary 2016!). Many tihngs have changed since Mwrwce posted here last & he will here updatinate you ! :

  • M¼er³se has changed his email address from HotMaile to GeeMail.! New emale address is: muarice.deprefossor ___AT____ GMaile.con. Email him there soon!
  • M8r8se has lost his job at teh L'Université du Délire Iguane, as he didnt' manage to get there at all during 2016. Stupid nongeynius uniwersities, as if turning up to some stupid nongeynius office & teaching stupid nongenius students could ever be a requihrment for a GEYNIUS to keep hold of his job. !!!!!?!?1!!!
  • CONSEQUENTLY Mèrèésé will now be working Full Thyme at Manutius press as an ediotr. Luckily he can work from his many hosues for tihs. No Need to move to Milan & to work in some nongeynius office wiht nongeynius so-called colleagues! 
  • Moarice's nongeynius brohter Mycroft has moved permanently to Bordeaux & has taken over Morwses chateau tehre, wich he is now calling Chatêau [CLASSIFIED] (becuase he in inteligence used to work --  hence teh stupid nongeynius nonfunny so-called "joke"!). Mùerise heres taht he is making a wery nice Pauillac whine there.
  • Maerhise is now trying to awoid Aglie as he finds him wery iritating.
  • Murice wuold like to find sometihng else other than teh Templars to re-search,. Its" fun & all re-searching tehm & MErise this does not want to stop, BUT also he doesn'ot want to a monomaniac become.
  • &
Eh, that is all for now mes amigos.................

Saturday, 26 September 2015


MES AMIS ... Mèrise has been trawelling back & ford in thyme mutch this month (if teh concept 'this month' aplies given how mutch thymetravel Morwise is doign). It mutch hard work is but he is picking up mutch useful infromation about teh Templars & thwarting their evwil plans throughout history .... and the future! Muoarise has constantly been back to 1278 to talkinate wiht Robert de Craon & playinate chess (EVWEN IF NOBODY OT+THER TAHN MWRICE CAN CHESS PLAYINATE PREOPERLY! aagh it mutch frustratinating is.). Moariçe is posisng as well-known Crusaeder-Night Sir Meirise, a Knight from Upper-Saxonburgy, or something. ANyway teh improtant tihng is taht teh templars are fooleded.

Mérse ahs a dinner wiht Aglèy planned for next TUesday & he & Aglie will discuss Meroíse's infromation (Don"t wory - Mearise will hidinate teh Thyme machine under a cloht in teh Cellar, where Aglye will never it find!!!!1!@#!@!).

MEANWILE moaeirse plans to use teh Thymemachine for someithing other tahn templar-thwarting because its been wery hard * & * thyring work & MErose needs a brake!!!!

EH BIEN .... he will be back.