Teh Templars of MALTA

MES AMIS>.... Maerose wery mutch in tihs wobleg post abuot his new Hosue in Greenwitch wanted to writinate... but taht will ahve to wait. It occurs to him taht he has n't abuot teh raid on teh Templar castel in Malta wroted, or abuot teh Heroic Flight TO Freedom in teh UK taht followe.d. SO taht post most magnifique abiot his new Hosue will ahve to WAIT a few days more.

EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on  Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.

Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).

Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight  altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY  it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET  abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was. 

We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!

Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:

• plans for Templar sekrit plans for teh next 500 years. Including how to fix the Olimpics so taht Greece wins 100% of teh gold medal,s destabilisng all world economies & leaving them abel to take control of the world.
• A secret history of teh world by a Well Known Rosicrucian named "Elmer the Disputably Puce".
• A map of teluric currants & how these can be used to lower your elecricity bills to low low low preices ( & also seize control of teh world -- theyre working on this one, but Muairse has so far managed to frustrate tehm in teihr efforst wiht this -- & Now he has more sekrit knowledge abuot tihs so he can tehm frustrate even More. And, also, lower his power bills.)
• A manuscript in acient greek  detailing teh links between teh templars, teh rosicrusians, & teh Ford Motor Company .
• A manuscropt in Etruscan abuot how teh Templars planned to control world financial systems wiht a plan taht would hatch in 1100 AD -- witch fortunately did not succeed!!!!!  

Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.

It wery bad was.

Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.

He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.

Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius  of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken  nongeynius aiport.

Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.

At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........

Moaroses GRANDE new hosue in SUNNY SE10.

Merise has just finished celebratinating "Bastille Day" (en Anglais: la Fête Nationale........). It wery good was, & Maorise too mutch Romaee-Conti dranked.

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Evwen though Moarose enjoyinated celebratinating teh Festival of teh French republique, he here to tell you abuot buying a hosue in teh Untied Kingdom is. And taht is waht he will do.

Eh bien. As regular raeders might rember, Moarise wanteded to buyinate a hosue in Londres. he had decidinated taht he would buy teh bestest hosue on teh market, evwen if it wuold bankr-upt him for ever&ever because a geynius of his stature would not for 2nd best settle. BUT, he was GAZUMPED by some non-geyniyuys "busyness man".

Muarhose was of cuorse by this much upset. BUT he has raelised taht , actually, it a Blessing In Dis-Guise was. Why, you may ask, mes amis???

WELL:

• It ment Moarose would not bank rupt for ever&ever be <-- witch would be wery bad
• Morece managed to grabbinate £20,000 from teh rich busyness man's limousin, so he acutally came out of tihs ahead financially
• He a wery chic hosue in "SE10" (a.k.a. Greenwitch) has founded.

Tahts rite. Maorise a wery chic hosue in SE10 has foundinated. And he wiht it is much pleased.

It wery elegant in an contemprorary Elizabeth Ist style is, with much wood panneling & wery ornate fireplaces is. It wery spacious is, wiht 8 bedrooms, three studies, four withdrawing rooms (+ four depositing rooms to balance out all tohse withdrawing rooms)), six bathrooms, two dinning rooms & a wery elegant chefs style "cuisiner"/kitchen in witch Moaruise can already imagine himslef cooking up many elegant  diners for him & his many litererararary/intelectual freinds.... even thuogh he yet to move in has.

Taht;s not all, mes amis. Miurose is also tihnking of buyinating a country re-treat in teh Untied Kingdom. First he must up some muny save (maybe he cuold publish anohter hot bestcellar book!! Taht wuold make lots of muney for him).

Eh bien. Mirose will tell you more as it happenates. As it is now, I back in Malta am on holyday wiht mon associate Agly. Have found mutch of interest abuot teh TEMPLARS & teh KNIGHTS OF MALTA but Uglîe said taht Meroce must not abuot Maeroses post on his wobleg & taht he raelly ment this & taht he wuold not includinate Muarise in any off his secret Templar studies in future if Muarise this did. Stupid nongeynius Aglei. Muarhose, he a GRATER geynius is.

GAZUMPED!!!

Mes amis,..... a tragedie most tragique has occurinated... let me you tell....

Mes amis... Moarose has taken a break from his holiday in Malta to a hosue in London buy.

He is in teh charming city of Londres, England so he can find himslef a hosue that is worthy of his geynius. But he porblems hit even before he he arrivinated. He searched for porperties on teh intern-net taht might of his geynius be worhthy.

BUT he quicjkly founded taht he was priced out of teh top end of teh market!!!?!@1?!?!??????!!! This was inconceivable!!.!?! INCONCEIVABLE!?!????!!!@@ It could not be! Mwaroce a grate geynius is, & so teh best of everything shuold have.

SO it did n't take him long to come to teh conclussion taht he would just have to buyinate teh bestest house possible, even if it bank rupted him for ever& ever. It worth it would be. It would teh message send taht tihs geynius would not settel for 2nd or 3nd best.

SO he around searched & tihs hosue found:

Quality 12 bedroom property for sale in Campden Hill, Kensington, London, W8 - unmodernised, garden, tennis court, garage, planning permission, swimming pool, wine cellar, cottage, country house - Price on application

So he looked at teh web-sight listing & he it much lieked. It was worhtyt of teh geynius of Morrose. So he a viewing of teh porpety arranginated, and indeed he it on Tuesday managed to inspectinate wiht teh Real Estate Agent. He an extensive tuor of teh hosue had & he it much lieked, so he an offer of £42,000,000 to teh real estate agent maded. Teh unreal estat agent was wiht tihs mutch happy, so we back to his car went.

Unfrotunately, taht is when tihngs started to go worng. A car next to us pulled up & Marose by it was much annoyed as it had wery loud rap music playinating which Merose annoyed. SO he went over to complain & TEHN he noticed taht this car -- a big Limousin -- was FULL OF CASH -- all £50 & £100 notes, too, mes amis -- Mjwrose would tohse recognise any where,.

Tehn a man wiht short dark hair & dark glasses got out of teh car. He was wearing a black suit & blakc tie, & looked intimidatating. Maorise was certain he a gun had.

"Hello," he said, "am wery important Russkiĭ business man & am to be havink absolutely no connection to KGB or Russian Mafia, da?" Teh real estat agent noded nerviously. "Am vantink to buy house, da? Pay cash, is good, da?"

Again teh rael estate agent nodded, but thihs time maybe more excitidely tahn nervously.

"Good. Am offer  £100,000,000 for tihs hosue, in cash, no qvestions, da? You accept, da?"

Marose was just abuot to explain explanitorially taht he had an offer on teh hosue made, & also he a grate geynius was, so tihs gentelman it could not ahve, when teh rael estate agent push me aside & said "Yes, of course, sir, that would do nicely."

Móarose was abuot to protest, but he had been pushed off to one side. Maorose! Teh grate geynius!!! Of course he reacted wiht teh calmness & composure for which he is famous. He went back & protested his case most calmly. Maorose might ahve slightly hit tehm with his duck-handled walking stick. Even so, teh rael estate agent taht angry did not have to get & teh highly respected & legitimate Russian business man did not at Moarose have to shootinate. He is certain taht a few stiches are all thats need for the slight cuts to the real estate agents face, & the estate agents car will be fine once a panel beater has beaten out some of teh dents & scratches. And he only broke half teh windows on teh limousine.

Eh bien. Meorose was left to walk back to his ho-tel. Walk!! Teh indignity.

Merise he knows taht Russian business men are highly respected in U.K. business circles as being wery reliable & respectable so he not surpised taht he a hosue in teh U,.K, wanted to buyinate. But he should have realised taht Mierose was teh grater geynius of teh two, & Conceded tihs house to Maoroçe.

On teh bright side, Maorise was abel to grab several handfulls of £100 notes in teh confusion (wiht money flying everywhere) wehn he broke teh windows of teh Russian gentlemans car & tehm in his pockets stuff. So he ahead is. By £20,000.

Mierose is tihinking of maybe a hosue in Greenwich buying. Okay, so may be it not quite as glamorous as Kensignton is, but at least tihs way he will not himself bankrupt for ever & ever.

And may be he should also a country estate some wherre in teh English cuountryside most charming.

Or maybe he shold his town hosue in Edinborough buyinate???

Decisions, mes amis, decisions....!!!1!

teh MALTESER FALCON

Mes amis... Mjerise has much amazinating things to relate to all his eager fans.

Eh bien... Morose on Malta a much amazinating discowery has discovered. Whilst he was here, he heard abuot something called "TEH MALTESER FALCON".

INITIALLY Meroçe thought taht this MALTESE FALCOLN a rare bird was, and asked teh locals where he cuold it see. But Agliè explained explanitorially taht actually it a rare sculpture was that was maded by teh TEMPLARS in 1539.

Aglíe quoted from his famuous book The Templars and the Secret History of Europe since 1300 : "In 1539 the Knight Templars of Malta, paid tribute to Charles V of Spain, by sending him a Golden Falcon encrusted from beak to claw with rarest jewels——but pirates seized the galley carrying this priceless token and the fate of the Maltese Falcon remains a mystery to this day."

HMMM... much intrigueinating, mes amis ....

Mes amis, Mierhose abuot this much thought. OKAY, OKAY so it had for many centruries been lost. BUT a geynius such as Moerose had not for it looked, and that much different is. Merjose knewhe would succedinate where others had failed... he knew it. Thats what makes HIM a geynius!!!1!

Eh bien, after much inwestingating he fuond a man in a tiny antiques markret called M. Bogart Spade. HE teh Maltese falcon knew where it was, and togherteher they were abel to it track down.

PHOTO OF M. BOGART SPADE WIHT TEH FALCON..

Eh bien, but that not entirely abuot Mierose is & is tehrefore boring so Mierojse will not botherinate to abuot you all tihs TEDIOUS stuff abuot finding it narrate, as it much tedious is. Teh IMPROTANT thing is that Merise is a grate geynius, & it was his inteligant detectoring taht led to him finding teh MALTESE FALCON. Hidden in a box of Maltesers.

Eh bien, teh important bit is taht Merose (a grate genius) had got teh Maltese falcon, not who broke into what millionaire's house, or any rubbish liek taht.

Well, now he it had, he had teh MALTESE FALCON , he needed to decidinate what to whith it do. 

Much difficult, mon ami, even for a geynius of Mèorose's stature. 

It an object of much power is. 

But it also much waluable is, & Maeruce couold wiht teh money do. SO, he cuold also it sell. And Aglie in it was much interested.

BUT did Morośe want to taht much power to Uglie want to give?!?!?!??? He cuold not decidinate. Ewentually, thuoght, Muerise decided to risk it wehn Âglei an undisclosed but large sum (€9,620,000.99) for it offered to pay. It too much of a good offer was to refusinate. So he it to Aglie sold.

NOw I just need to what to with the muny do figure out.

MORE EXCITING NEWS SOON... including more abuot Merisse his MALTESE HOLYDAY. Also, he maybe is tihnking abuot buying a hosue in teh Untied Kingdom.

MALTA!!1!

MEs amis... Merise has in MALTA been for a few weeks ... but alas, taht NON GEYNIUS most irritatating Aglie has insistinated taht Marwice about what they have been doing not wobleginate , as he says taht teh tihngs tehy are inwestigatinating are " too sekret " to publish all over teh internets , and also , tihs might teh Templars & Knights of Malta  " tip off " taht we inwestigations here are doing.

Stupid non-genius. Meriawse, he teh grater geynius is. Eh bien, he has managed to get a few hours a-lone, so he will a wobleg post writinate now, whilst Aglei he watching is not.

Eh bien. Merise & Agley ahve found much to occupy tehmself in Malta... Meirise is planninating an ENTIRE BOOK based on teh sekrets he has uncowered here  -- thats right mes amis, theres taht much sekret conspiracies going on here. Both teh TEMPLARS and teh KNIGHTS OF MALTA are here & tehy up to no good are.

Merise he does not want to spoil teh suspense of waiting for his booke on teh subject, but here are some of the things Agly & He are discoverinating:

TEH KNIGHTS OF MALTA are plotinating to take control of teh wrold .. but unfrotunately so are teh Knights templars . It'd be conwenient if both of tehm agreed to cooperate, but noooo... they cant agreeinate on any-tihngs. Witch is good for teh wrold, otherwise they might succedinate. Witch would be bad.

Teh knights templars want to hi-jack Telewision broad-casts in Europe & hypnotise everyone . Teh knights malta tihnk tihs is silly & want to put mind-control chemicals in teh pot noodles.

Tehse disagreements ahve led to them arguing in teh streets. Agly & Morose saw a punch - up between a gruop of KNIGHTS TEMPLARS & a gruop of KNIGHTS OF MALTA just teh day before yesterday. Tehy kept pulling eachohters beards.

Teh knihts of Malta have also some remote control aeroplanes boughted to do aeriel servellence & aerial attacks. Agley finds tihs much worrying. He worrys taht it tehm will teh " upper hand " give (wahtever taht means... stupid non-geynius Agleu).

EH BIEN... MORE SOON. Must stop, Aglie is coming back now. Must post tihs & TEHN look inocent so he doestn suspectinate ANYTHING.

ps also Aglei didn't enjoy teh plane flight. Stupid non-geynius. Merise is a GEYNIUIS pilot.

Merises NEW JOB -- editor of teh "ESOTERIC HISTORY" series of books @ MANITIUS PRESS!!!1!

MES AMIS!! Arrivinated in Malta. Aglie, he is much certain taht there is much Templar actiwity happening on teh island of Malta. He says, taht he Templar plots can smell from a mile off.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point of tihs wobleg post is though. Abiuot taht will Mjerose wobloginate WERY WERY SOON. But just not now.

NO, mes amis., teh point of tihs wobleg post is to spaek about MErise ihs wisit to his publisher in Milan -- taht is Manutius. Merise spent a few days in Milan , and he much work tehre got done. he overseeing teh public-ation of his NEW BOOKE ,which out will be coming wery soon , and workin g on co - ordinating  teh new series of books " ESOTERIC HISTORY " taht he is for Manutius books co - ordinating. HERE are just TWO (2) of teh titles organisanised so far:

• Templars, Pot-Noodles and the New World Order, 1500-1980. Agliè de St Germaine & Muarice de Perfossor. Publication date: 01/09/2012.
• Rosicrucians, Roswell and the Race into Space: Space Exploration since 1100. Arnaud de Saint-Estèphe. Piublication date: 07/10/2012
• The Knights Who Don't Say "Ni": The Teutonic Knights and the Modern Movie Industry. Wilhelm Normand Bergenstein. Puvlication date: 29/11/2012.

.. and taht's just teh tip of teh ice-berg , as teh captian of teh Titanic said.

Rember. You raed it here 1ST.

Mwerises SUMER HOLIDAYS....!!!!1!

MES AMIS... for teh past few days , Moaroçe has been decidinating where to go on his SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tahts right, SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tres exciting, Morese knows... He can hardly his excitement contain.

He was decidinating between teh following destinations:

• Corsica
• Malta

When he discused tihs wiht his asociate Ágliè, he saided taht Malta had much association with teh Templars, teh Rosicrucians & teh Knights of Malta & tehre many sekrit conspiracies there centred are. Wery interesting. Most interesting, mes amis....

SO, of cuorse, Meriese has on teh basis of this decided to go to MALTA. It much exciting is. Merowse canot wait.

SO, instead of waiting, he has decidedinated to leave NEXT WEEK. It will a wery early summer holiday be.

Merise plans to fly. Aglie insisted taht a CRUISE SHIP wuold be more luxurious but Maeröse agrees does not. He once went on a sea cruise  in Sidney. It not luxurious was. Teh seats were uncomfortable & teh ship smelled of Diesel.  Tihs "LUXURY CRUISE " (from Sidney to Manley) was not teh sort of luxury to witch Mowrise is acustomed.

ALSO, Merise has bad memories of his sea voyage on teh S.S.Cado, many years ago...

Merise has rembered taht he bought himslef a Piper CitationJet C4 some thyme ago. He tihnks taht he will flyinate to MALTA in tihs... taht's right, he will fly Air Mäwríòse. Marice tihnks taht "CAPTAIN MÉRRHISE" ahs a GOOD SOUND to it. Aglie ( who also wants to come ) is not wery happy about flying, but Merise is certain he will love Moerose's cute littel Jet Plane.

EH BIEN. Taht is all for now. Merise leaves next Wednesday. He will keep you infromed.