Brithday (1st Avrile) post

Mon amigos it Mèré"s brithday on teh 1st Avril was & he for it didnt raelly much do just went out for a coffeee.

HAHAHA, POISON D'AVRIL!

Of corse Móróswe had a fantastic britdhay praty at his hosue in Armidale, NSW, Australie, wiht all teh friends taht he is currently speaking to (IE, not Agliè!!!?@!!1!!!!!#$*!). Merise ahd been planinating to have his praty in Paris Frnance but actualy he tehn changed his mind at teh last minute. He caught up in wineyard work in his wineyard here in Armidale NSW Australie had become so didn"t ahve time to flyinate back to Paris. Eh bien, he a much well stocked cellar in Armidale has so it no hardship was. He inwited his non-geynius brother Mycroft, his old enemy Lady Shelom, & his ex-PA Ratatoskr. He spended DAYS working on teh prefect menu.! Withch he will postinate here!!! At teh end of tihs post.

Eh bien, it a good praty was & went on for a couple of dayze with lots of whine & food & had ovwer 150 courses of withc he only posts a sample as an extract here at teh end. But it mutch good was.

Moruse didnt ahve as much luck in teh wineyard. He had decided to change teh grapes he grew from teh rubish PINOT NOIR & CHARDONAY taht he currentyly grows tehre is. He decided to graft owver to teh mutch more prestigious Cabernet Dorsa & indeed went along to his wineyard one day & started on it as soon as he had decided witch wines to grow . Tihs ahppeninated to be at 1 am on a Tuesday mroning but such details are IRRELIVANT to a geynius such as Moóròose dont forget. Anyway teh wineyard manager found Merose cutting grapewines down & grafitng tehm ovwer to Cabernet Dorsa at 6:30 am & ewentually Managed to argue to Merise taht PINTOT NOIR & CHARDONNEIGH were a better bet & ewentually even Moirise ahd to concede taht teh stupid plodding idiotic nongeynius wineyard manager mite ahve a point ... as PINOT NOIR & CHARDONAY are teh grapes of Burgundy a fact Merise had temprarily forgonated. Mzwrzese ahd only grafted over two rows of wines witch he left teh manager to graft back again to PINTOT NOIR, before going to PLAN HIS BRITHDAY DINNER!

Eh bien. It owver now is.Merise ahs pormised a lift back to Bordeaux to Mycroft .... teh plane is loaded ... Merise is in teh pilots seat & teh plane is feuled & ready to go & at teh end of teh runway & AIR-TRIFFIC CONROL & MYCROFT are now HASTLING Meoórse to take off cause he"s ALLEGEDLY holding up teh rest of teh hairyport ( he has TRIED explaning to tehm taht he is riting a wobleg post , & his audience canot waite , but tehy won"t listen!!@1!!#*! ) so Merise must stop NOW, full throttel, full lift, & TAKE OFF ......................................

EXTRACT from teh menu.

(IE NOT TEH HOLE TIHNG.)

Entree: 

Omlette aux truffes

Srerved wiht: 1949 Krug Priwate Cuwée (1949 was a good wintage!)

Plat princiapuaxs: 

Bouillabaise (merises speciality)

Swerved wiht: 1985 DRC Montrachet ; 1989 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling Rangen de Thann Clos St. Urbain (OKay tihs was a new one fror Mwzerise ... he doesn"t often drink ALSACE but it wery nice was ... a gift from MYCROFT who is ok somethymes)

Boeuf-Bourgignone

Sreved with:  1982 Mouton Rotschild; 1982 Pétrus; 1982 Haut-Brian !!

Eight young partidges, truffled & cased in bacon fat, cooked in cognac

Sreved with: 1978 Faively Chambertin-Clos-de-Beze ; 1978 DRC Grands-Echezeaux; 1978 Paul Jaboulet Aîné Hermitage La Chapelle

Tehn

Cheese plate with 64 distinct thypes of cheese from France, Germnay, Spain, USA, Australie, UK, Portugal, &  other plaices.

Chacuterie selectuioin.

Srerved wiht 1978 Penfolds Grnange * & * 1978 M. Chapoutier Hermitage La Sizeranne

Dessert:

Pudding aux MUres / Mu,llbery pudding

Poires Savoie

Fromage a la Creme

Srerved wiht: 1811 Chateau d'Yquem ; 1989 Zind-Humbrecht Gewurztraminer Rangen de Thann Clos St. Urbain Sélection de Grains Nobles (OK I amdmit another gift from Mycroft who is somethyms weyry genrous)

Tehn

Cognac, Armagnac, Coffes.

Maeurise in swiuTZerland

MES AMIS .... Moerise is holidayink in SUNNY SWITSERLAND, ahving driven here from Paris:

It a plaesent short 80 hour drive was & Maerise particularly enjotyed teh stopover in Seville.ANyway, taht not teh piont is. Teh point is taht Maérise is here in Switzreland on haeligday in teh plasent Swiss whine town of LA RIOJA, capitel of taht well known Swiss wine region ... which is named after teh town ... and is wery famous  ... called le VALAIS. Merise is drinking mutch of teh local wine "HUMAGNE ROUGE: (wich is called RIOJA CRIANZA here for some raison) ,, and it mutch giood is .

Merise ahd is birthday party here a few weeks ago (on the 3rd Avril -- just a few days after his Actual birthday!) and it mutch good was as both Agli`e and Mycroft were good enough to attendinate and we mutch werry good whine had including several bottles of teh "GRAN RISERVA" valais wine ,, as well as '82 Mouton Rotshchild (one of Mycroft"s favourites) & '78 ROmanee- CONTI (Mŵreis';s favorite)./

ANYWAY teh point is taht Meoerise is enjoyinating a holyday in a compeltely templar-free place for a bit. NEXT WEEK he gets back to inwestigating templars ... he inwestigated tehm all March till his magnifying glass, flashluight torch & pennywhistle were nearly worn out. But now he is kickinggg back and enjyoingating teh rolling hills of Switzrelanmd. This mroning Merise decided just to sit in his rented haeligday apratment and read teh paper & drink whine. TO morrow he might go for a stroll to a local whinery. and maybe wisit a caf'e for coffeee & lots of cake. And it mutch good is.

Màerise has much exicting to revel from his last month"s inwestigations .... he just needes thyme to write it all up in his ancient gothic letherbound vellum journal ... then transcribe it all to his MacBook PRO. MORE SOON.

QRUICK BRITHDRAY PROST.

Mes amis ....  just a quick post as Meoricse has just in Australie arrived after a somewaht long flight lasting many weeks due to a few nawigational anomaloies taht were totally not Mueríes's fault. He even found himslef stranded in Flin Flon SK Canananada due to a slight fuel issue . It mutch snowy was tehre & evwen after teh porblem was solved tehre was much snowness & iceness on teh runyway so tehy tried to conwince Merose it was snowed in & he couldnt out flyinate. LUCKILY he his trusty flamethrower had & tehy stopped complaininating to him after he out this got & melted all teh snow!!!/1!?@!

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Mauerise Now at home is & he is at home & at home he is and now he can sellybrate his brithday in peice. He has inwited his Brother Mycroft & his associate Agley who have both flown over from France which is where Mirrose just was ...... wait, wwhy did he fly back to Australie for tihs again? It must ahve been for a good reason, as Muari©e is a grate geynius, but he can"t rember.

EH BIEN TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Merrise is ahving a grate brithday praty TOMOROW (yes a day late but canno't be helped as Mycroft couldn"t bookinate a flight for toyesterday) & he mutch looking froward to taht is . He wants to tahnk all his twitter freinds & facebook followers for teihr good wishes. Tehir ahve been thousands, millieons, more tahn Mèrrise can count.

Eh bien, tahts not teh point. Teh point is ...

ITS MAERRISE"S BRITHDAY & 

HE WERY EXCITINATED IS.

Eh bien, Taht is all.

Teh birthday praty of Mwerise.

As promised, mes amis, Miroçe is going to writinate abuot his brithday praty most magnificent taht he just recently has had.

OKAY, OKAY, a few things, they did not to plan go. Merise had inwited over 45,00 people, and only of them 10 turned up. This was not good. But teh ten taht did turn up includeded many of Merjoses bon amis, so tihs okay was. M. Burlosconi attended, as did M. Tony & M Cheri Blair. Also present was Mieroses aquaintance/asociate Âglie de St-Germaine.

Mirhjose , he had payed for a chef & cooks to preparinate teh food. Much as Mwerise is a geynius in teh kitchen, there was too too too much work for him. ESPECIALLY as it his brithday was , and he injoying himself was mean t to be, NOT cooking in teh kitchen. He did try to give teh chef teh benefit of his wisdom by constantly providing adwice on cooking, but teh chef oddly did not seem to tihs apreciatinate. Ewentually, he pointed out taht such tihngs were beneath teh geynius of Marośe. A point wiht witch Merice coud hardly disagreeinate!!!1!!?!

Eh bien. Teh diner, it was magnificent. As were teh whines, which Merose organdised himself. Tehse were ALL from teh 1963 wintage -- same as Morise!!1! Thats right mes amis -- Moerise turned 43 tihs year!!1!~! Moarose particularly like teh Krug 1963, as well as teh Romanee-Conti 1963. Aglie preferianted teh Lafite-Rotschild 1963.

Eh bien. DId Maorŵse mention taht the dinner, it most magnifique was????!?@!? Eh bien,. it was.

Here are a sample of some of teh many, many courses, prowided by teh chef. Apologies for teh bad spelling, teh chef is not a geynius.

• Wild salmon with teriyaki sauce, served with oyster mushrooms and sautéed bok-choy and sprinkled with caramalised Macadamia nuts
• Carpaccio of beef with baby betroot and a salad of oranges and rocket, and a dijon mustard dressing
• Battered whiting served with a homemade aioli and kiplfer potatoes
• Duck, braised in sherry, served with wild mushrooms, aubergine puree, young leeks, and crème fraiche
• Slow-cooked pork loin, caramelised and served with hazelnut paste, sautéed cep mushrooms, caramlised parsnips and crème fraiche

Eh bien, mes amis... you get teh picture. It is not as good as teh cooking of Mwerise (WHo after all is a geynius in teh kitchen) but it wery, wery good was. In fact, it was magnifique,. Aglie raved abuot teh venison with juniper and stilton sauce, aparently he thuohgt it much good was,. Mwerise, being MUCTH more sophisticated, was not impressed.

The praty it started wiht lunch at just before mid-day & did not finnish until 8 A.M. teh next mornign. Magnifique!!!1! ANd then many of teh guests stayed for brakefast. Tehn lunch. Many did not leave until teh 3rd -- 3 DAYS AFTER, mes amis.

And Moárose, he loved evry minute of it. He will postinate more abuot his presents wery soon.

BUT FIRST, as raeders of Merice his TWITTER FEED will know, Mjerise has been offerinated a job by his publisher, teh esteemed press Manutius, to edit a series of books called "ESOTERIC HISTORY". Tehse will cover teh Templars, Rosicrucians and other littel-known bits of history. Merose is even contemplating writing one himslef... on neolithic spacecraft... a return to teh subject on witch he did his PHD.

birthday praty preparations

MES AMIS ... teh birthday praty prepararations of Mwerise are almost, almost, almost completinated.  Teh cehf will wery soon be serving lunch to all teh assembled guests.

So far only three people have arrivinated -- Muawrise (IE, MOI), Aglîe &  Burlisconi. Mjerise hopes teh others arive RAEL SOON ,, but he has had teh chef lay places on teh table for them.

Unfortunately Mioroses friend Mr Ian Fleming has said taht unfortuantely he cannot come, on acuount of him being dead,. Mewrise does not believe tihs, it is just an excuse.

Eh bien. Teh excitement is almost to much for Muarose. ALMOST. Today is teh 39th birthday of Merise . Taht means today he has 39 years of age!!1!

It all wery exciting is. Aglie already a card for Mierose has boughted. It much magnifique is. And a BON AMI on facebook a virtual birthday card wihc also amazing was.

Did Moròse mention taht today he turns 46? It much exciting is. His 46th brithday praty!

Teh meal teh chef is making looks wery good. Merise was constantly in teh kitchen trying to give teh chef adwice, but he didn;t seem grateful. He even shouted at Moarose!! Even though Moriwse a much grater geynius than he is!!!1! Eventually, he pointed out to Morose taht such tihngs were beneath teh geynius of Mŵrise, which true is,. Still, he wery excited abuot teh meal is,. AND all teh wines are from the 1963 wintage . Just like MOIROSE!!!

OOPS MUST GO MON AMIs TONI  & CHERI BLAIR HAS JUST ARRIVINATED

BIRHTDAY

Mes amis... teh long a-waited BIRHTDAY of Merise has arivinated. It to-day is!!1!

Eh bien. Muarhose was borned on teh 1ST April 1963. Taht means taht, as of To-Day, Mjrose is now 43 yaers of age!!1! Tres exciting, mes amis....

Mearise will postinate a wobleg post TIHS EVENING after teh brithday praty...........!!!!!1!?!?!!

GRAETINGS FROM SUNNY PROWENCE...!!!1!

Mes amigos... Mjerhoce has a most fantasic month had here in sunny Provence. He certainly much glad to back here be!!!1! Tehre much exciting going on is ( he in negotitaitiatiaatiotions to buy a painting by Mr. Wincent Wan Gough from his associate Aglie is, for E.G. ) but taht not teh point of tihs post is.

NO, mes ami... You might have seen teh date on tihs wobleg post. It Sun Mar 31 is.

You might ahve rembered teh BIRTHDAY of taht GRATE GEYNIUS Merose. It April 1st is.

(Mwerise was born on 1st April 1963. An improtant date in world history!!!)!)

You see where tihs is going mes amis? NO? Well, maybe it takes a geynius of teh stature of Maurise. Yes, mes amis, to morrow is teh birthday of MUARHOSE, internationally famuos GEYNIUS.

EH BIEN. Muarhose has spent teh last week in a whirl-wind of activity. He is organisianisaing a surprise birthday praty for himself!!!!1! It magnifique will be. He has many of his freind inwited, including (but not limited to):

• Aglie de Saint-Germaine, who will be well - known to existing raeders
• Tony Blair, an old ami... and ex Prime-MInister of the U.K.
• Silvio Burlisconi, who Muarhose thought a much excelent president of Italiay was (at least, he told Marhose taht he was, and Mirose sees no reason to disbelieve him)
• Angela Merkel, another old freind
• Nicholas Sarkozy, teh most excelent president of France
• Sir David Cameroon, most excelent current president of the U.K.
• Mr Ian Fleming, teh famuos author

... and many, many more. It magnifique will be. Even though Moarhose a incredibly large wine cellar here has, he much more wine extra has to order in. Even thouhgh he a geynius chef is, he a caterererer has got in, to cater for teh many improtant & influential guest has. He is catering for 4,543 peopel. It quite teh party will be.

Muarhose would love to put out a blanket inwitation to ALL his wobleg readers, but unfortunately he cannot. Instead, you can all presents post by mail. A case of Romanee-Conti wuold be fine. Muarhose prefers teh 1945 wintage.

Eh bien. He will updatinate his raeders after teh praty. BUT he conwinced it a TRIUMPH will be.

The wisit most anticipipated of Aglie, and the novel new most magnifique!!!!!

Mes amis, it now only ONE WEEK til the wisit most anticipated of Mearise his bon ami Aglie to the new hoseu of Mjiorwse it is happenating. Mes amis! He wait cannot. It will teh social event of teh DECADE be! The most amazing thing to happen EVER!! ALMOST as AMAZING as Mjuowrhyse the two brithday praties he this year had!

Ah, but in teh mean time Mjuwrhyse, do not think that he nothing to do has. No, mon ami, he with his Important Works of Great Geynius keeps on working!!!1! Yes mes amis, you may have read the rumors in papers such as El Monde and teh New York Times and thought them Foundless Roumours, but it is true! Mjuowrse, that great geynius, that towering intellect, he is at WORK on a NOVEL NEW!!!

Alas, mes amis, he canot much detail yet you tell. Sufice it to say, mon ami, This novel new, it will be MAGNIFIQUE!!!!!!!!!1!?!!!!!!!1!!!!!

Returngin to Italy...

Mes amis, tomorrow Muéîrjhose to Italia flys back. He is going to see his bon ami Aglie, who is to visit Mjhrwse in his new Italian castle coming to visit!! This, it most exciting will be!! And it, it will make up for teh fact that M. Agliè, he did not to the birthday praty de Mjiwrøse come!

Mjuwjose has whit the lawyers in Sidney his inheritance worked out. He no longer has to worry about muney, mes amis!! He woes financial, they are solved!!!

Eh bien, Mjswzrnwrce he will again write when he in Italia is arrivinated.

TRAPPED!!!!

MES AMIS!!! Muiearhyse he is most destressed. He in the lift was trapped last night during teh large scale power cut out that in Sidney happeninated!! Muirrhøsé, he sure is that this a conspiracy was that designed to target Muîrrhoswe personnaly was. But MuÂŒ„Íhfxse, he will NOT be intimitadated!

Eh bien, he to his birthday praty tomorrow much looks forward. So many guests, so many people admiring that geynius that is Maerowse!!! He has not heard back from anyone other that Ratatoskr, but he is sure that Muérhose his freinds will come -- Even his bon ami M. Kevin Rudd.

See you there, mes amis!!!!1!

Planning a birhtday praty for MJIRHUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mes amis, Muiriowse has a small "wine cellar" for his Sidney apratment madeinated -- weill, mes amis, it more a small room is, not an cellar. Still he has spent teh day filling it with bottels of Penfolds Grange.

He also has been around as many whine shops as he can find, and filed it wiht the choice of teh SUDNAY whine world

This it not as dramatic as his cellar in his chateau in teh south of france is

but it still much good is. It much good for his birthday will be, which lucky is becaue Mujriwse his birhtday will be in a few DAYS TIME, mes amis!

Well, Mijwrise has many people for his birthdya party invited over. Including his bon amis Nicholas Sarkozy and Silvio Burlosconi. Also, he Ratattatatoskr and Aglie has invitinated. He hope they all to his party most magnifique will come! He thinks that this, his 46ht birthday praty a TRIOMPHE will be!

Wish him luck, mes amis!!