Muarjise in Australie (again!)

MES AMIGOS ....

Müroße must apologisinate for not postininating anything  to tihs wobleg ... or via farceberk ... or via twytter ... or via skywriting .... for AT LÆST A MONTH!!1!?!$%@#!!!! . He KILLER JET LAG had aftrer teh wery length 12-day-fligth from Paris France to Armidale Australie via Brasil;. It an EPIC WOYAGE was.

EH BIEN. But he is here now & he ovwer his KELLER JET LAG is, so it all good is. He was going to postinate abuot what he up to in Australie has been -- he has been writing some acadæmonic pæpers , & tending to his wineyard , & redocorating teh hosue has been -- & tihs is ALL WERY INTERWESTING (as anything inwolwing Mjrjse is becuase its about Méréesse) sometihng mutch more interesting has come up.

An article has surfaced in teh non-esoteric mainstræm mædia abuot a secret hidden series of Caves made by teh Templars ... Muruses secret adwerseries. Teh artikel describes tehm as being in Shropshire, UK, but Morose isnt niave enough to beleave everytihng he raeds, especially where Templar Conspiracies are inwolwved. NONETEHELESS ... teh article is scattered with Cryptic Clues about teh Crypt ( ... heh ... Cryptic Crypt ... ! ... Heh ) for those who ahve teh Wisdom to See  it. It is obwious to Meorwse taht the Cryptic Crypt is in Lisbon, Arles, Seville, Dolgellau, or Buenos Aires. Mir1se will of cuorse ahve to travel to all of tehse plaices over teh next few months to inwestigate ........... cue EPIC KILLER JET LAG ......................... oh noes .... still it is a sacrifice taht M3r3se is preparinated to make.

Muarise has been doing some important maintainaince on his hairyplane but once taht's finished, he will hed to Lisbon f1rst. Tehn Buenos Aires. Tehn Seville. Tehn Dolgellau. Tehn Arles. But 1st he must finish his coffee & croissants.

A dinner wiht Agley witch didn"t go acroding to plan.

MES AMIS ....... tihs is just a wery short wobleg post as Merrise is wery shortly going to get into his hairyplane & to Australie fly (actually he planed to yersterday go but didn"t make it ---- tahts one of the adwantages of having your own hairyplane mes amis,, you can be flexibible wiht your schedule ..... also you can carry 323 cases of whine back wiht you wihtout teh hairline checkin clerk assistant complainiating about "OVERWAIT BAGGAGE": as if such limitations applied to a geynius of Morihs'es staturre!!!!!1?#@!!!),.

AHEM. Anyways, taht not teh point is. It difficlut to keepinate this short will be as there mutch to tell is. Merrise must tell you abuot his diner for his bon ami Aglié. Unusually for Merrise it wasn"t exactly an unqualifiedf success., Moarise thuoght long & hard abuot waht to serve & ewentually decided on a personal favuorite: androuillete sussages, wihch he has specially shipped in from Troyes (actually of course it actually by truck comes  not ship taht would be silly as tehre is no ocean between Troyes & Parris). He sreved tihs wiht dijon moustarde & Moroßes famuos sauteed potatetoes &  a fien 1978 POMMARD 1ER CRU.

Mèwrwése thought taht teh food was perfect but Agley turned his nose up at teh androuilllete *(LITTERALLY) & just pushed it aruond his plate. He ate teh potetatoes & lieked teh whine but he wouldN't even try teh bauetiful ANDRUOILLETE. Meirrise was dewistated & had to retreat to teh kitchen to cry for a littel while. He found a bottel of '59 Corton in a cupbored & drank taht & taht made him feel beter.

ANYWAY, Merrises; famuos TARTE TARTIN went down mutch better, & was follewed by a bottel of 1811 Yquem taht Merrise had been saving for a speshel ocashion.

ANYWAY, taht not teh point is. In between Aglíe turning up his nose at MerIses' perfect dinner (after Morhose got back from having a littel sob in teh kitchen) & teh brandy digestif ,, Agley had mutch interwesting to reportinate abuot a SEKRIT ROSICRUCIAN PLOT to gain wrold domination by forcing teh banks to take on risky inwestments . They plan to creat a 'housing bubbel' in teh US & forceinate teh banks to taek on SUB-PRIME MORTGAGES witch would tehn be bundled togehter & sold off as A-GRADE INWESTMENTS. Ewentually teh hole thiong would collaprse & bring down teh banks, inwestment houses & gowernment in a sort of ":GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISES". The ROsicrucians cuold tehn step in &* seize control. Merrose listended polietly but didn"t tihnk teh idea sounded credible. Teh banks wuoldn"t be taht reckless, & teh gowernments Wouldnt allow taht kind of deregulation.

More of a raelistic plot was one to kidnap teh German chancellor & replaceinate her wiht a Rosicrucian lookalike . Meorise & Agleí talkt about tehis for many hours .... it will be  a diffuclut plan to frustrate as its wery whily ..... but teh combined intelligence of MAROSE & AGLEY will be abel to stop it *(especially Mqerise as he a grate genius is)>.

Tehy also discussed a sekrit Templar manuscript from 1321 taht Agley found in a second hand shoppe in Odessa & Merrise treid werry carefully to not spill 1811 Chateau d'Yquem on it (Not easy giwen taht Merrise ahd by tihs stage dranked 3 bottels of whine taht night!!1!?!). 

EH BIEN. Merrise has just noticed teh thyme. He must finish packing &(& finish tihs bottel of 1973 Armagnac ,... just two (2) more glasses left) tehn drive to teh hairyport & get into his hairyplane & to PARRISE AUSTRALIE (AKA ARMIDALE AUSTRALIE) himself flyinate, where he will stay for a littel bit before flyinating or drivinating to Adelaide" ..... MORE SOON.

ADELAIDE!!!

MES AMIS ... Muariçe is still in Adelaide!!! He knows, it quite unusual is for him to stay in 1 plaice for so long ... he been here since early february has been .... most odd!

AND YET he has his thyme in Adelaïde mutch enjoyed. He enjoyinated wisiting teh WINERIES (teh ones taht arent evwil sekret TEMPLAR fronts taht is) & has enjoyed parading on Adelaídes wide & Sunny buolevards & sitting in teh many cafes engaged in stimulating intellectual discussion wiht agley & his nongeynius brohter mycroft

AND YET murise has finally got bored of Adelaide because he does not in one place like to be for sutch a long thyme. CUORSE all good things must to an end come & SO it is taht Moerose is decided to fly to Bordeaux wery, wery soon. To-morrow he will start Loadinating his hairyplane for teh flight, and tehn on teh 10th April (Whenever taht is, perhaps on 10/04/13? 11/04/13? 04/10/13?) he will to Boredeau flyinate wiht Aglié as his passenger (what a priveldge to be flowned by such a geynius pilot as MERISE!!!).

BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT ... teh point is tath Merise has much good thyme in Adelaied had & has many interesting tihngs about teh templars founded ... yets tahts right theyre wery active in Adëlaide  ........ no Merose cant more here say, not until hes safely out of Ädelaide & away from teihr evil machinations.

EH BIEN. It is so, Mes amis. Merise & Aglie must bid fond farewell to Adelaide, and Merise will shut up his charming littel AdelaidheHills hosue until sutch thyme as he back here is .... witch wont be long ,, mes amis, fear you not,,, definately later in teh year ,,,, Maybe  Augugst, DEcembre at teh latest, maybe!

AGLEY IN ADELAIDE.

IT SEEMS taht wererever your hero (Mwerise) finds himslef, he will quickly bump into his associate/colleague/ex-freind Aglie. Even in his new hosue in Adelaïde, Australie. Except of cuorse tihs isnt an accident/Co-incidence, it wery meticulously planninated was.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Aglíe is over here to help Muerise search for Templars in Adelaide. As Muerise has discussinated prewiously, on a prewious short wisit to Adelaide he found much ewidence of Templars in Adelaide, but was arrestinated before he cuold a PROPER inwestigation make. Well, taht will NOT happen again. NO SIR.

Agley has helped Muerise to infiltrate teh MASONS SEKRIT HEAD-QUARTERS which teh have sekretly located on a large building on North Terrace in teh CBD which secretly has their name secreitly written over it in wery big writing. Murise has joined him (in cunning disguise of cuorse) to liszten in to tehir cunnuing plans to steal teh sangreal ( its currently in teh SA MUSEUM ) , and how tehy can seize control of teh country ( NEVER FEAR MOERISE WONT LET TEHM ). Tehy have some particularly feindish plans inwolving sekrit messages written on watercrackers taht Mjuarice wishes he cuold tell you more about BUT HE CANT.

Eh bien. Muerise has forgotten teh point. AH YES, TEH POINT IS TAHT MURISE IS MARVELOUS & IS ACTIVELY SAVING TEH WORLD FROM TEH TEMPLARS. Yes, taht was it. YES.

IN WICH a certain non-geynius brohter of the author wisits Adelaide

Mes amis... Maurise is wery pleased to report taht his brohter Mycroft is wisiting Moerise in Adelaïde for teh LONG WEEK END. Peeple who follow Muerise on twiter may raelise taht Mjerise was tihnking of drivinating to Sidney for teh long week end but those plans all changed when, amaxingly, wondefully, his brohter who Muairoçe hasnt seen for so long turned up un anounced at Merises door!

Stupid nongeynius brohter. He shuold have ranged first.,

Eh bien,, taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Morose is much pleased to see his brohter, who he lieks wery much even though his brother is often annoying & definately teh intelectual inferior to Muiarése -- but tehn it has to be rembered that Moerise is teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever, so Mairise must conceed that probabbly Mycroft cant help taht.

Eh bien, Once Morise has clicked PUBLISHINATE on tihs wobleg post he & his brohter will go to a restorant for lunch. Maybe somewhere taht has BYO WINE so taht Merise can take tihs bottel of CH. LATOUR 1982 he has here. Or maybe he can just go to a good restorant and trust teh STUPID NONGEYNIUS WHINE LIST taht they have. Hm...

Eh bien, Mierose shuold also say taht he has finally got rided of taht stupid HONDA D'ACCORD he was borrowinating & finally got himslef a car befiting his GEYNIUS .... its a JAGULAR XF  & it mutch good is mes amis

MORE SOON MUST RUSH & HAVE LUNCH NOW MES AMIS !!!?@?!1!!#$!!

Happy New Yaer!~

Mes amis Mérise does not hear wish to go on abuot teh many presents he from his freinds, admierers & adwersaries got, even though some of them were wery exciting (Agley boughted Moarose a case of 1945 Château Latour, & Merose him bought a tie, made from geniune nylon!). NO mes amis it sounding like boasting would be. And Mírose is NOT one to boast. He wery, wery modest is.

Eh bien. The point is taht for teh new year Mierose is in his castel in La Mancha, Spain. Thats right, Merose has a castel in Spain. Witch he hasnt been to since Septembre 2009. Teh perils of ahving so many hosues, mes amis!! Eh bien, he there now is. And enjoying it mutch is.

He left NYC on teh New Years' Eve Eve (ie, 30th Decembre) and much sad was to leave it as it a nice town is. But tehn he mutch glad to in Spain be. Even though it also here wery cold is (-10°C mes amis .... wery cold in tihs old, stone castel .... Merise has all teh fires going evwery night, and its still cold, he might have to uproot his wineyard here to provide kindling! <- Just Moereis his little joke).

After mutch discussion wiht Agley over Xmas, Merise has finally decidinated to employ estate managers to look after his Wineyards, as he in Argentina is alraedy doing. Eh bien, it is so:

• In Castelli-di-Roma, teh Bordeaux student taht he in 2009 employed, Aglie;s freind M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton, who has now finished his studies & also now owns a cháteau in Saint-Êmilion ....
• In teh South of France, his freind M. Aubert Jayer-Joly
• In Spain, M. Émile Rolland-Dubourdieu, also a Boredeaux student & a freind of Agley & M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton.
• In Paris, NSW, Australia -- YES, Mierose is going to plant a wineyard here!!! -- M. James Gago-O'Shea <--- Moerise will abuot tihs a new wobleg post wery soon. Also abuot teh apratment he plans to buyinate in Tokyo ..... but tahts too mutch news for now!!!!1!#!?!!

Teh GOOD news is that M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton managed to save some of teh 2012 harvest in Merose is castelli-romani wineyard ,,,, and made  a start on bottling teh 2009 for saleing,. Watch for tehm at an off-licence near you wery soon mes amis.

Eh bien,. Merise ment to tell you about New Year in Spain. It so far much exciting has been! Even though he left Agley & Ratatoskr & Mycroft in New York, he not bored or alone has been, becuase Merose is never bored (except when nothing exciting hapens taht can stimulate his grate geynius). NO he has spent teh evening drinking "Brandy de Jerez Solera Gran Reserva", and singing Auld Lang Sang (in teh original Spainish) to a candelstick. It much exciting was! Mèrise tried to explain exactly how exciting it was to Ratatosrk over teh phone & Ratatoskr became so excitied he couldnt stop sniggering.

Eh bien. Tomorrow Merise goes to look at his Spainish wineyards (in withc he has Tempranillo, Garnacha, Merlot & Syrah POUR LE ROUGE, & Airén, Macabeo & Chardonnay POUR LE BLANC) & decidinate wiht his new estate manager EXACTLY waht wines he will here producinate. Tehn he will drivinate into town & buy some books abuot Templars taht he at the local BOOK-SHOP saw.

Also, though he pormised NO MORE NEWS, he MUST say taht 2013 will be teh first wintage of whine from his estate in Argentina ....

Also, he has a trip lined up to a Templar Castel in Germany for later tihs month wiht his .... associate ... Agley. MORE SOON.

IN FLIGHT TO NYC TO TOKYO

MES AMIS ... mawrise is curently inflight from Tokyo to NewYorkCity(TM). He quite an adwenture getting on to teh flight haded. He arivinated quite late for his hairyplaneflight because APPARENTLY, ALLEGEDLEY 15 minutes it not enuogh time to get from Moarise his hotel to teh airyport, check in to teh flight, go thruogh security & go to teh gate & get on teh flight is. ALLEGEDELY,. Maurise tihnks it is, & he a grate geynius is. Must have been a templar plot to delay him. YES, taht's it.

EH BIEN. Mirose managed to on a nother flight get as Atterissage Force have flights going from Tokyo every half huor for reasons even teh hairline isn ' t quite certain of. He had to fly to teh le Republique de le Congo & change to another flight, but he thihs has to do wiht all atterrissage force flights, tehy all through teh Le Républic du Congo go.

SO Moarose is currently in flight on teh leg of his flight from Brazzaville, Republic du Congo to New York City, New Yokr State, U.S.A. He currently availing himslef of teh free WiFI is ((WELL .... it not raelly free is, yuo meant to pay teh stewardess a fee of 14,000.14 Central African Francs = € 21.34 EUR which NOT mutch for a geynius of Moroses stature is but STILL its teh principal Muarrise shuoldnt ahve to payinate for trivial things like taht & IT a simple tihing for Mirose to gain entry for free was just by breaking into teh hairyplane's key central comptutor systems.)) to a wobleg post write.

SO Mirose quite a month has had, THose who were inteligent & obserwant enough to raed Miorse his PREVIOUS wobleg post (from Yes-ter-day) Mirose has been in NYC. And Paris. And Argentina. And Sydney. And TOkyo. And now, NYC again. QUITE A MONTH FOR TRAVEL EVEN BY TEH STANDERDS OF MIROSE. He did tihs for no particulalar raison OTHER TAHN TAHT MARWOSE HE WANTED TO. And taht it good enough reason for any body is. but may be tihs coming month (NOWEMBRE) Mirose will take mutch quieter, wiht just a small trip to San Francisco, & may be go back to Italy at teh end of teh month. YES, thats all.

HMM ... teh hairyplane pilot says we curreently flyinating over Kazakstan are, because he a worng turn somewhere took ... AGAIN. Typical. <Might be a long flight mes amis. Muarise cannot decide : should he work on writing his NEXT work of GEYNIUS ??? or shuold he spend some thyme playing his latest up to date Comptutor game he likes called DOOM II on his state of teh art lapttopcomptutor??????? TOUGH DECISION MES AMIS.

PS Morose can now his name write in ENGLISH, FRANCAISE & JAPONESE:

ENGLISH: Muarice.
FRENCAISE: Màïùrrèéçë
JAPONAISE: Mōrisu // モーリス

UPDATE @ 4:20AM: miurose wishes to denyinate rumours taht teh difficultys teh hairyplane is expereincing (INCLUDING TEH NAWIGATION PORBLEMS) are caused by Morose hacking into teh hairyplanes key avionics comptutor systems so he could free WIFI get. COMPLETELY UNRELATED. Mirose hardly any software/files/settings deleted, and its only 65.7% probable taht he locked teh pilot out of teh flight control system.DONT BELEIVE UNSABSTANTIATED RUMOURS SPREAD BY JEALOUS LEASER MINDS WHO OF MIREOSE JEALOUS ARE.

Mirose in Tokyo

MES AMIS .... Mirose is curently in Tokyo & a chance to his Japonaise speaking practice thuogh confusingly the locals they understand it not.

Eh bien, that not the point is. Teh point is taht Moaroce has had a WERY bisy month. In octobre Mirose flew from NY to Paris, & from tehre to Argentina & from tehre to Sidney & from tehir to Tokyo & from their to New York. It a mutch action packed Month was, & Mirose almost ,missed a few of his hairyplaine flights , but he it managed ! It quite a N acheive,ment was.

Eh bien. HE enjoyed a few days in his hoseu in PARIS before flyinating to Buenose Aires. Tehn he an enjoying weekend in Argentina had, tehn to Sidney flew. He  a good week in Sidney had & it good weas . Then  he went to Tokyo went by hairyplane and taht where he is now is.  It mutch excitin g is & Mirose as found a few naerby restorants taht nice are. One has a WERY GOOD Selection of Burgundy, which wery authentic & wery nice is. Anohter restorant is a n auhtentic japonais restorant wiht a good selection of sake (en francaise -- 日本酒) taht Mirose has enjoyed dirnking. He has impresed teh waiters iwht his wery good grasp of Japonese. ""Un buoteille de saké, s"il tu plaite garcon,:" he said. & Tehy mutch impressed by his Japoenese were. Ma ybe MIrose shuold buyinate himself a cjhic little apratment here in Tokyo. It mutch good were.

Eh bien. ALSO mirose forgotted to mention that he also in argentina more than a weekend spent & went to wisit his wineyard tehre & it mutch good is growing. His manager tehre is NOT a geyniuis of Mieroses stature but he is seeming to be a good job there doing. Mirose can not wait to teh whine from here tasteinate, but apraently it much years will take. stupid nongeynius manager. Mirose is a grater geynius & he knows he cuold taste teh whine NOW if teh manager wuold him let.

EH BINE. that not teh point is.

Teh point is Mirose his flight to NY City leaves in 15 minutes so Maorise shuold ring for a taxi to get to the hairyport from his hotel room (witch is where he is now).


SEE YOU IN NYC MES AMIS.

Greetings from Argentininia.

Mes amis..... Morhose is now in ARgentina. He a wery exciting few days in Sidney just haded... He got to stay in his Sidney apratment again, and wisit his neigh bours there. Wery magnifique. BUT... BUT... he now conwinced taht 3 days is TOO SHORT for a wisit to Australie. Next time, he will schedulinate at least five days. May be more. He now KILLER JET LAG has , and it not wery good is.

Sadly tihs time he did not get to wisit his non-geyniius brother Mycrcoft . He had hoped to, but teh drive to Canbera, it too long was. Maurhose wanted to -- he even started to drive off -- but he got bored after only driving half an hour, and something else decidinated to do. He instaed decided to wisit a good restuarant in Sydney and a good lunch ahve. SO he this did. And it magnifique was.

EH BIEN. Taht the past is . ANd MOREOSE he cares NOT about teh past.!!!!!!!! No, he cares for it NOT AT ALL> Tahts because he dynamic is, & is always moving forward,

Eh bien, Ratatoskr has just reminded Moarhose taht he a famuos archaeologist & noted historian is. Which meant taht of course he cares abuot teh past in taht sense. But not in any other. In particular, he doesnot particularly care about going over and over and over and over teh ewents of teh past few weeks. Tehy boring are. Tehy of NO CONSEQUENCE are. Mirwse is  MOVING FORWARD!!!!!!!!1>.


Merhoce has forgotted teh point of tihs post. AH yes, he rembers. He now in Argentina is. APARENTLY, teh wintage here is wery soon, so he will wisit his Estancia && check taht teh harvest will be being done properly. He much enthuisaistc abuot tihs is. He CANT WAIT to try his new Argentinian whines. Tehy magnifique will be.

For  now, though, he enjoyinating beying in Bueonsos Aeries is. It a magnifique town is, and Muarece wisiting it it much enjoys, despite teh KILLER JET LAG which aflicting him is.

May be he shuold here more thyme spend!!!1!!.1,>

EH BIEN. But he canNOT , alas. He must back to Paris in a few days go (On teh 8/2/2012).

A bientot
MOERWSE,

Mwaurhise in Sidney

MES AMIS...

taht it winter in Australie is came as a shock to Mjurise. He had managed to forgetted taht winter in Australie is at teh time when it summer in France is, and winter in France the same time as winter in Australie is... Mirhoise thinks, thuogh he might have got taht confusinated.

Morrose wonders what season it is in Argentina., He will ahve to ring his estancia manager & find out. He will reportinate back on TWITTER.

Eh bien, Moruwse he has been survivinating teh winter. He fuond taht his apratment has perfectly good central heating, so he didnot have to make himslef an "improwised" open fireplace in his apratment. Even though this magnifique would ahve been.

Moirrhwse has made it his target to wisit many of Sidneys best restorrants tihs winter, and has enjoyed dinner many thymes at Sidneys Most Prestiginoiouis wenues such as Tetsuyas and Rockpool Bar & Grill. At teh Roockpool Bar & Grill he was abel to order teh 1945 Romanee-Conti taht he had twitted about on tweeter. AND, in-deed, it magnifique was. Morrhose drankj teh whine wiht teh wood fired grilled pigeon with roasted red peppers, grapes and radiccio salad. Also magnifique.

Eh bien. He much more tahn just eating in Sidney up to has been.

No, no, no, mon amis.

Far from it. He has been workinating on his next grate work of grate geynius -- an academic study of transistor radios in prehistoric Polynesia. He cannnot much here say (as rival academemics who are not as grate geyniuses as Morrhose scower this wobleg for ideas of geynius to rip oifff & steal from him), but it will be publishinated later in teh year.

He also porrf-reading a manuscript of his latest novwel. It magnifique will be!!!

Winter in Sidney...

MES AMIS... tihs is a wobleg post much delayed... Muarrhose has pormised his fans most devoted taht he would woblegginate wery soon... and yet, it happened not.

Eh bien. Merose, he now in Sidney, NSW, Australie now is. He enjoyinating being in his nice littel apratment here is, though he not enjoying teh cold winter weather is. But he had QUITE teh adwenture getting to Sidney... he many wrong turnings took wehn dirving from Paris, NSW, Australie (A) to Sidney, NSW, Australie (H). HEre is teh route he tooked:


View Larger Map

Eh bien, it a long trip was. And, Morrhose wonce again had a run-in wiht teh flesh-eating Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo (Macropus venenum) once again. And, once agian, they tried to eat Mwrose.  BUT ... luckily Merose a wery, wery fast car was dirvinating, so he able to escape wiht only minor damage to teh car (Tooth Marks, mes amis, Tooth Marks....). Teh less said, teh better.

EH BIEN.. Tihs cold, it is not agreeinating wiht Maerise. Non, mon ami, he is thinking whistfully of his chateau in Provence.... wehre it will be summer, and tehrefore Nice and Warm.

(ALSO, it is NEAR teh TOWN of NICE...,.., a good pun, is it not, mes amis???)

A bientot.

MOROSE.

Mycroft in Burgundy: Hello Folks!

Greetings, mon amis...

No, fear not, it is not Maurice. It is I, Mycroft. You remember, Maurice's more intelligent brother? Facebook friends might remember that I was about to head off to France for a holiday. Well, luckily, I got out of Canberra before the volcanic ash did it worst (at last, I found something more disruptive and annoying than Maurice! Okay, maybe not) -- I left on the 14th June.

Also, luckily, I managed to get more than the two weeks leave I'd hoped for originally, I got three and a half weeks! I expect Australia will be in economic ruins by the time I get back... the PM's office (and therefore the rest of the country) can't function for half an hour without me, it seems... let alone nearly a month.

Anyway. Back on topic. I arrived in Beaune expecting to find that the "apratment" Maurice had bought here in Beaune to be a virtual ruin.

We all know how gullible Maurice is, and he bought it sight-unseen.

But no! Miraculous! It really is a rather elegant apartment, right in the centre of the old town, with three bedrooms... and a study... and a rather nice kitchen. And Maurice paid to have the Eurocave wine fridge stocked with good burgundy... and that happened too (amazing! Maurice making canny decisions -- must be coincidence!). Just drinking a good bottle of Montrachet now.

Well, its been a good holiday so far. Brought my work mobile with me, which was my one mistake. Of course, I've kept getting work-related phone calls at all hours of the day. I'm maliciously gleeful thinking about the phone bills they're racking up ringing me here... they pay for that phone, so they'll be paying all the lovely, juicy roaming fees. If Australia goes bankrupt and enters another recession in a month or so, you'll know why... heh.

Made a pilgrimage to the Romanée-Conti vineyard yesterday, and sat on the vineyard wall drinking a bottle of '96 Romanée-Conti. A rare privilege indeed! Even remembered to bring some a bit of a picnic to nibble on too... magnifique. Would def. recommend. And my mobile didn't go off once for the whole meal. Rumours that I had "accidentally" turned if off are all biased and unreliable (though accurate).

Visiting Chateau de Pommard tomorrow... the brochure makes it look very nice. Wondering if I can con Maurice into buying it for me as a holiday bolt-hole (would only be fair, to make up for all those bottles of '59 Haut-Brion and '47 Cheval Blanc of mine he drank).

That's enough for now, mes amis... a mid-morning walk beckons. Then lunch.

Muarhoces magnifique trip to Sidney -- teh PLANNING.

Mes amis... Morrhose is planninating a trip to Sudney... he is JUST even now packinating teh car.

You might not rember, mes amis, but just last yaer Maeryuse property in Sidney boughted. And he to taht property (an apratment, right on Sidney harbuor, mes amis!!) has not recently wisited. SO he now a trip tehre plans. He has booked meals at teh bestest restaurants in Sidney, so it MAGNIFIQUE will be.

HMMM... he just raelised has.. he has a SELECTION of cars wiht him here in Paris, NSW:

• A Toyota Hilux Pick - Up Trukc
• a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S SUV, taht can at 275km/h drivinate
• a HSV Maloo Pick - Up Truck taht can at 271.444km/h driveinate

Tehse all nice cars are, but tehy are all 4WHEELDROVE cars... and Murrhose is certain taht NOBODY but NOBIDY in Sidney would drive a 4WHEELDROVE car, especially not a 4WEEHLDROVE pickup truck!!!1! It too rural for a sofisticated city as Sidney would be. Tihs is why he bought himslef some new cars when he his new Sidney hosue first boughted:

• a Jaguar XKR 2 door 2 seater sports car
• a Maserati Quattroporte Sport GTS wiht Paddle Shif Gear Box 4 door 4 seater luxury car

... but alas he tehse in Sidney still left from LAST thyme he was tehre. So? WHAT CAR TO DIRVE TO SIDNEY???

Muarhese selects teh Porsche Cayenne tihs time. It teh fastest car is, and it looks a BIT more sofphisticated tahn the others... ALMOST (but NOT QUITE) sophisticated enough for sidney.

Eh bien, Morrhos is excited abuot his Sidney trip. He must finish packinating teh car wiht every thing he can of think, and also make certain that tehre is enough coffe for teh in-car espresso machine. Tehn he must have lunch. Tehn, he must drive!!! HE plans to stay on a speed of AT LEAST 270km/h for teh whole trip. Tihs means teh trip shuold take NO MORE tahn 1.95 hours... wihs Mwhrise luck!!

Return of Muaarhose to TWYTTER... and WOBLEGGING,,

MES AMIS... it almost a month since Morhose twittered or woblegged has... he shure his adoring fans most adoring where wery sad to not benefit from teh geynius taht is Moarhose for tihs LONG period of time...

Teh sorry truht is taht, after he got back to Australie., Miruse raelsied taht he had lost his precious MOLESKIN(TM) note-book... which maent taht he did not ahve teh unlock code for his IpHONE as it was writen in teh notebook... which maent he could not get teh password for his MACBOOK PRO laptop comptutor as it was saved on his iPHONE... which maent he COULD NOT retreave teh password for his twyytter, facebook, blogger or E-lectronic Mail accounts as tehy were saved on his comptutor... he devistated was!! He spent weeks searching everywhere, all through his hosue, and his hairyplanes, and his car,s,, but tehn, by a miracle, yesterday he found it in teh pocket of teh jacket he had been wearing ALL ALONG!! Amazing. Muerhose, he much plæsed was...

Eh bien, Morhose just glad taht now he his MOLESKIN(TM) notebook has he can use his IpHONE and his laptop again,,, and can comunicate wiht his loyal fans wonce again... He also glad to be back in Australie is., though he much puzled by teh weather is. It's COLD here, almost like winter... yet wehn he left Paris, he certain it spring was... so shurely it should also spring in Australie be... odd, mes amis, odd.

Eh bien. Moreose will post more about his triumphant retturn to Australie soon. And Myrcroft has just left to wisit Beaune in France so expect a guessed weblog post from him sooon.

A bientôt!!

Mjuerise in Argentinina (again).

Mes amis... you catch up wiht Maurise just as he abuot to leave Argentintinttna is... he just finished packinating his stuff in to his hairyplane has, and tehn will flyinate back to Australie/... thats righte, even as he tihs rights he is in teh cockpit sitting, makeing teh final preparations for teh flight,

Eh bien, Muarhise arivinated in Argentina ten (10) days ago... and since tehn has been relaxing & restinating... mostly... he also had some light INDUSTRIAL ESPOINAGE to do !!!1!!!?!?!!! Taht's rite... Muarise!! Inwolvinated in INDUSTRIAL ESPIOINAGE!!!1! Tres exciting, mes amis... Muarhiise went wiht teh estate manager of his Argentinain ranch to several wineries in Mendoza to findinate out all tehir whine-making practices/secrets... and tehy just let us in to their "TASTING ROAMS"! Incroidable!!

Morose and his wine-yard manager were abel to taste teh wine and even look in trhough teh door at teh whineries... Tehy even passed overy very sekrit infromation abuot teh wine making process when Muarhis asked tehm questions (for example, taht whine barrels are made from OAK!! WHO KNEW??!?!). Tihs was incredible, it would be like teh Templars inviting in Tourist and telling tehm all about their plans for World DOminaition (Teh Templars plans, taht is, not teh Tourists palns.)_ Incroidable!!!

Eh bien, he much ideas for his NEW argentininan whine now has ... he will reportinate back soon. But for now, he must head his head home for Australie... he is looking for ward to seeing PARIS NSW AUSTRALIA again wery wery soon... a bientot mes amis....

Even grate geyniuses MINOR mistaeks make WERY OCCAISIONALY

AS noted earlier on twitter... even such a grate geynie as Muarhise mistakes makes. ON TIHS ocaision, teh wery wery minor mistaek taht Morhose made was taht wehn he flew from Argentina to Paris, he forgotted taht he had flown to Argentina in his own hairyplane, and taht this he ahd in Argentina lefted. SO instaed of resting & Relaxin g in Paris... he must back to Argentina fly to it pick up so he can to Australialialialial flyinate...

Eh bien, even such a grate geynius as Morisse must whith tehse FRUSTRATING ANNOYANCES put up. He is sure taht some how it is teh fault of Muarise his non-geynius Brohter Mycroft is... yes... taht sounds rite... it was ALL mycrofts fault. yet aigain./

... arrived in Parrhys, mes amis

MES AMIS!!!1!! Murrhose, taht grate geynius, taht intellectual behemoth, ahs finally arrivinated in his Favuorite City, Parrhys, France (not to be confusinated wiht Parys, Australia!!). Eh bien, teh flight it much an adwenture was... he from Argentina set off on teh 18th March set off. ANd tehn, he finally arrivinated TODAY on teh 31 March.... a whole 23 days later!!1!

Eh bien, teh flight it not as mutch of an ordeal for Myarhose was as it might ahve been for a lesser mind, as Moorhose a grate geynius is. He had broughted much in his "CARRY ON" luggage.

In Mouarhoses luggage, as well as a parachute (which has served him well before now...), he had 331 booeks to read, his laptop comptutor, his GSM mobile phones, his satellite phones, 42 bottels of 1996 Bollinger le Grande Annee, and 14 kg of CAVIAR. Enough to keep Any Body happy....

Still... after tihs wery, wery long trip Mereise his "travel lust" has been satedede " recently... he pormises himslef taht he will not do any more travelling for AT LEAST 5 days., wehn he will be travellinating to Australie again. But for now, he has time to rest&relaxinate.

He much glad to be back in his humble apratment in Paris France is. He is EVEN NOW enjoyinating siting around in a cafe near his apratment enjoyinating espresso... mmm... espressso!! Muarhose is much happy to be back in Parhise.

Well.. Meruse would Love to stay aruond and more writtinate... but he a Booking at Restaurant le Meurice tihs evening, and he MUST go back to his apratment now to get raedy. More soon, mes amis!!!1!!

First GUEST POST -- a brief note from Mycroft.

Good evening all. I hope you're sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin...

Long, long ago there was a genius and his non-genius brother. They both lived in the town of Armidale, NSW, Australia. Need I continue? Needless to say, Maurice thinks he was the genius one. We know better... (Also, for some totally bizarre reason he refers to Armidale, NSW as "Paris, NSW"... and hallucinates that he is French...)

Anyway. Back to the current. It seems Maurice has forgiven me all those times he somehow noticed that he was not the most intelligent brother... or the fact that it was me that became Genius-in-chief at the Department of the Prime Minister & Cabinet... Not that he'd have been up to the rigors of government, or been able to bring himself to the mundane "non-geynius" boredom of going to the same job all day every day...

Also not sure a re-union with my long-lost so-called "geynius" brother was what I'd wanted. Especially when he continually invites himself over to my place. Nothing better than to get back at 10pm after a hard day at the office, arguing with the PM about national security (again), and find Maurice has let himself into the wine cellar and is working his way through his third bottle of '59 Haut Brion... again.

Then he wants to ask me about what I did that day. Told him it was classified. He promises not to post it on the blog... but I see he's twittering everything even as we speak... What to do?

Still, he's given me the keys to the "wobleg" now... will be sure to post MY take on what he's up to... should be very interesting... stay tuned.

Back in Argentina

Mes amis.... Muarise is wery pleased to announcinate that he once again in Argentina is... and TIHS time, he here is just for his own enjoyment, not as teh result of some evil plot by a evil sekret soiciety, again.

Eh bien it good once agian to be in Merhiçe his Buenos Aires apratment once again be. He is even now sitting in a café on teh street corner just naer his apratment sitting, drinkinating espresso coffees (he is even now on to his eight espresso for teh afternoon on to)( and a new wobleg post writinating. He is also on his next novwel workinating. He about tihs does NOT much want to say, other than you can all rest asured taht it a work of grate geynius would be (but tehn, would you, my loyal devotted raeders, expect ANYTIHNG less of Murrhiße? NO! It wuold be untinkinable.(

Murrhose will also once again wisit his ranch be wisitinating... and he much to teh road trip is much looking forward. ..   . He plans to spend a few days tehir. He is also planning to a wineyard here plant so taht would tehn mean he has wineyards tehn now in Italy (Castello di Maurise), in   SPain and NOW in Argentina.. Hmm,, MAYBE he shiuold also a wineyard in Australie plant. And anohter in France. JUST to completinate teh set.? Eh bien,, it matters not. ALl taht matters is taht he will a wineyard in Argentina THIS YAER plantinate.

Ah good, Another espresso has just arrivinated for Muriyçe... . He needed taht. Wehre was he?! Ah  yes, in his new wineyard Estancia di Muariose, wihch in teh Northwest of teh country is... He will consult wiht teh farm manager tehre of course, but he ,, much lpans for tihs wineyard has,,, he so excitedinated is  ..., especially now he   on to his 10th espresso is,. He planninates to plantinate::

• Pour rouge:
• Malbec
• Pinot NOir
• Bordaeux vaerietals: CaberNet franc, CAbernet sAuvignon, MERLTO, Petit Verdot
• Pour blanck:
• Bordaeux blanc warieties: Savage blanc and SEmíllon
• Torrontés
• ... ., and of cuorse,,, .. Chardonneigh
  

Miruse, he can ALMOST ALRAEDY taste teh malbec...

SO. ,. Wonce Maurise has inspecitnateD teh site of his wineyard to be AND he current, alraedy functioning farm (it good milk and cheeseses makes, mes amis, wery good, also teh BOEUF is brialint, evwen if Muroise   himself say s so( he will back to Buenoes Aires headinate.... Tehn he is going to go to his apratment in PARIS to work on his novwel in piece and Queit   , for anoher few months... ah good here is anohter coffeee... he needed taht.,.,..... his tenth (10tH( espresso ... neededinated it wery urgently as he suddenly is finding it difffficult to type... hands unstaedy, feeling wery jitttery mes amiss... its a mystery.....,,,..,..   .... noepe taht didnt help ,,, MAYBE a n 11th espreso would help... will try ouyt this tehory now... ,..,........, but for now,   loyal raeders, Murrhose bids you adieu (albeit in a rather excited, jittery manner)

Hiappy new year, mes amis!!!1!!!

Bonne année, mon amis!!!1! Or, as we say "en français", "Happy New Year, My Freinds!!" Eh bien, it is true. It once agian a new year is.

Wow! How teh old year wery fast went. Even for such a grate geynius as Murrhjuose, who wery wery good at noticing things that happen wery fast is. The years are so short, it almost seems as if their is a new year every 365 days!!! Incredioble! Incroyable!!

Well mes amis, Merhwse thuoght that his loyal fans had suffered enuogh deprevation of MISSIVES from their favourite geynius (I.E., moi!!! Morose!!!), and so he a wobleg post shuold writinte.

He hopes you a wery good Christmass hjad. He a wery good Christmas had, wihch he spent wiht his long long lost brohter Mycroft in Canbererera.... tahts right mes amis, Mururuse has a brohter..... rember you read taht here FIRST. Anyway, it incroidable catching up wiht him after may yers (5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 100 years? WHO KNOWES?!?!?!) was. Muirhose wanted to tweet and wobleg all abuot Christmas LIVe as it happeniated but alas it was not possible. Mijruse his NON-GEYNIUS borhter forbidinated it (now Morose rembers why he to him stoped talking!!1!) simply becuaeese Mycroft works in some ""confidiential"" projects in Governenmenbt and it cuold have ""Jeopardised National Security"". Wahtever. Murrhuwse, he a GRATER geynius is.

Eh bien, despite tihs, we a grate CHristmas had. For Christmas dinner, we had roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb AND roast goose!!! ALL OF TEHM>>>!! WOAH!! it such a meal was. Their were roast potatoes, roast punmpkin, roast parsnip, a beautiful salad. OH...,.and I still have not teh fois gras starter mentionated....

NAturally Murhose and Mycroft many good whines had. Mycroft is wery partial to teh 1892 Chateau Lafite, so NAturally we several bottels of tihs had... since Murrhose preferinates Romanee COnti we sevral bottels of 1956 Romanée Conti also haded.

Eh bien, as alwauys, even such good thymes to an end must come. And teh day before yester-day, murrhose his hairyplane packinated, and to Paris, NSW flew. He is plaesed to relate taht teh flight only two days him took -- a record, he hardly at all lost got!!!!1!

à bien-tôt...
MUERRHAESE
geynius