The SECOND 46th birthday praty de Mjowrse

MES AMIS!!! Muirrhowse he is having a SECOND brithday praty, right here in his apratment in Rhôme! HE this mroning was going to go out and the milk buyinate, when he the doorbell of his apartment he heard in ring! Well, mes amis, this was quite a surprise! Muirowse, he knew not who it could be!!

When he the doorr openinated he found it was many of his friends to who he his birthdya praty in Sidnoy had invitinated to. There was M. Sarkozy, M. Berlusconi, M. Brown, M. Obama, Mme. Merkel and M. Rudd. Aparantly they most sad were they could not to the birhtday praty of Murwhose come, aparantly there was some trivial political meeting called "Gee Twenty" to which they all to go to had to!

Miuirowse, though, he did not have the food to give them. But even this, it not a problem was!! They had food from teh Gee Twenty banquets stolinated, and wiht them brought!! Mon ami Gordon had shoved some bottles of wine up his trowsers and in his jacket, mon ami Angela had stolen the pizza, mon ami Barack had tacken teh pate de fois gras, mon ami Kev had stolen teh pretzels, and Silvio had got confused and stolen some paperclips and A4 paper (aparently this is what he steals when he any job gets!!). This, it a good start for teh party was! SO, Angela went out to buy some champagne, and Silvio went to order some meals from a good little restorrant that Mhjørose in the area knows. When they they back got, we quite a party had!!! Even teh pizza, it most wonderful was!!!

AND it, it even better got! They ALL presents most magnifique for Muirrhowes had got! IT was magnifique, mon ami, magnifique! Mon ami Gordon had Mjurwose a new beret bought (red coloured!), Mon ami Angela a vase most beautiful, mon ami Barack a Hawaiaiaiaian statue, mon ami Kev had brought a new tie for Mjuowrose, and mon ami Silvio a newspaper corporation (Mjuowrise, he now owns a newspaper!) which apparently he no longer needed. These gifts, they most thoughtful were. Marose, he particularly the new beret liked.

Ah, the food it was most magnifique. And the conversation intellectual, it was most stimulating! Muhrwose, he told mon ami Silvio exactly how he should his TV stations run, and mon ami Silvio, he notes taking was! He discussed cricket with mon ami Kev Rudd, which most confusing was until he realised that he, Mirrowse, was about the INSECT talking, whilst mon ami Kev was about the SPORT talking! When that, we both realised, it most funny was. Mårjose, he had not even reealised that there was a SPORT called cricket, and Mon Ami Kev did not know of this INSECT called cricket!!

This second brithday praty most magnifique, it could all night go on. It such a splended surprise for Mjrjse is!. But Mjrorîse, he felt he must inform his raeders most loyal of the splended events that were happeninating! All his bon amis, Mjurowse has invited to stay in his apratment for the night. HIS FIRST GUESTS, mes amis!! He wonders what for brakefast mon ami Sarkozy will want!?!?!

The 46th birhtday praty de Maurise le genie!!!!

MES AMIS!!! IT WAS SUCH AN EVENT!!!

Ah yes, the brithday praty it was most magnifique. And yet, it, it did not without problems occur. You see, mon ami, that Muiiewrøse he invited 200 people to his praty, and so this it was the number of people he told the caterer to provide food for. And yet, only three people were there! Including Muirrowse!!! No, not even mon ami Sarkozy! Or mon ami Berlusconi!! Or even mon ami Chalres Dickens!. This, it not a good start was.

Well, Muirwowse he decided to start the evening by opening a bottel of Penfolds Grange from teh year of Mårøse his birth (1963). But then, then he noticed that his old nemesis Lady Shellom was one of the few guests that had come! He did not want to such a wine for her get out! Especially after what she wrote about him in her book Modern Australian Literature: Geniuses and Frauds!! No, it would not do! But then, Miueroîse he rembered how far his bon ami Ratatatatatoskr had flown to get here, and thought maybe he should get out teh good wine for Ratatatatatatatoskr's sake even so. Eh bien, it was so.

The rest of the evening, it most magnifique was. Muirrhose had enough entrées for 68.3 people, he could not the Ragoût of Lobster keep away from! Then he for the main course had teh Ballontine -- turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken stuffed with a pheasant stuffed with a grouse. he off this had enough for 30 people! AND then he on to the venison moved!!! Then, for desert Mirrowse he had the Baba au rhum, the Teurgoule and the Crème brûlée -- he kept for more going back, and ate enough meals for 110!!

The dinner! It most magnifique was! Muirrowse he oppened bottles of 1958, 1959, 1963, 1964, 1971, 1983 and 1985 Penfold Granges, and the 1972 Romanee Conti annd 1985 La Teche that Ratatskr he brough wiht him!

The food, it was magnifique! The conversation, it was exceptional!! So much intellecutral discussion!! For hours with Ratatoskr I discussed the literary significance of acorns. Muirrhêse he was with his presents much happy with: both Ratatatoskr and Lady Shelom new berets gave mirrease. It a most wonderful evening was!

Well, that was the brithday de Mauiroswe for 2009! And it quite an event was, even if it did not go exactly to the plan de Muirrowse!!! NEXT year, though, it will MUCH better be. For one thing, Mirrôse he will not Lady Shelom invitinate!!!

Mouthwash of the Gods: Freee Preview!!!

Today, Mawryse offters his loyal raeders a preview of his book most wondeful. Mon ami Sarkozy had kindly agreed to write the introductiion. Here, mes amis, is his gripping and complementary introduction:

From: "Nicholas Sarkozy" [nsarkozy@sarko.président-fr.fr]
To: "Maurice de Perfossor"
Subject: RE: Introduction for Teh Mothwrinse of the Gods

Who is this Maurice character? Why does he think I am going to write an introduction for some stupid book written by some hopeless nonentity? Get real. I'm president. I've got better stuff to do than write stupid introductions for people I don't even know.

I'm not interrupting my honey moon for anyone!

Sarko.

--
M. Nicholas Sarkozy
President, Montmartre Bowling Club
President, The Republic of France


Ah, my good friend Sarko. As ever, he too kind is.

Maris in Paris

Greetings, mes amis! Well, Maurisee is sorry that he left you waiting and longing for his wit and wisdom most amazing, but now, mon ami, you must wait no more! Eh bien, it is true, that Mawrise he has been most quiet for the past few weeks. But now this geynius, he is back!

And he is not just back to blogging, non, mes amis, he is back in his home city of Parrhyse.And much glad to be back there he is. Is tres bien!

Merhise, he has enjoyed sitting in his local cafe once again, and to walk the streets most familiar around Rue Mouffetarde. Mes amis, it was so good to wake up and realise that now Merrhuse is in his apartment most beautiful on Rue Mouffetard, and to look out on the street and see the Paris street scene most beautiful below him. It is a change most beautiful from his incarceration most tragic on those islands desert so evil and horrible.

The only disappointment most bitter, mes amis, is that there was no grand welcoming ceremony for Mawrhyses return most triumphant to Paris. I cannot this figure out why not. Mawrise called on his good friend Sarko at his house to ask why, but M Sarkozy he pretended to recognise Mewrhiçe not. Mes amis, I have been gone to long! Even my good friends like M Sakrozie have his security guards throw him out.

Luckily, Mrhyse was the model of composure as ever. The security guards were armed after all. Just a few vague kicks and punches, and Mawryse may have smashed a chair on one of their heads. Still, they did not at Mawryuse have to shoot like that. The great geynius could have been injured most greviously!

Still, mes amis, no regrets. Mawryse has gained knowledge and inspiration most valuable from it all. It is all inspiration for my book new most wonderful, The Mouthwash of hte Gods!

Rescued!

Yesterday, Merrhyse was rescued form the field in which he had crashinated his plane. Good news, he found out that he in the south of france had landed! The reason Marise could not the Frenchmen understand is that they were all talking Breton, not French. Yes... Breton. That'll work. Everyone round here seems to be speaking... Breton, so we are in English ahving to communicate.

Still, it has arranged been that I, Mwrhyse will to Paris return tomorrow. Tomorrrow shall be the date of the triumphal return to Paris of Famous Aiuthor Marrise de Parfossir! Mes amis, there will be crowds lining the streets, and fire works and parades. I am most certain mon ami my good friend Nicolas Sarkozy will eb there to greet Merrhyse, after his too long absence from Paris.

Mawrice cannot to his flat in Paris get back wait. He has been away for so long, and misses it much!