So Maurice is on his way back to his castle in Italy. Anyone out there want to guess just how many stupid, obvious wrong turns he'll make along the way? Or at least how much time he'll spend driving the wrong direction? No? Eh, can't blame you. Oh my gosh, but that Maurice fella just can't navigate. Safe to say the answer to both is "LOTS". Hope he misses Norway this time. Don't want to have to meet up with that so called "geynius" again. Oh boy. Being his PA is hard enough without having to meet the man.
Eh, just got to sort his mail then send it on to him. NO idea what he does with it when he gets it. Eats it, for all I know.
Yours squirrelishly,
Ratatoskr.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Saturday, 30 May 2009
Return to Castello di Maüris!!.
Mjorwíse he woken up has after a good night s sleep (though he did some how manage to pour spill hot chocolate all over Murjhóse himslef -- not good, mon ami, not elegante!).
Well, now he teh road wants to hit, and so in a munute he will to his Bugatti Veyron go, and to Castelli di Maúryße drivinate. Wonce there, he will its secrets fully be able to discover fully.
Méjrioce le genie, he not even time for brakefast yet has had yet, but eh bien he will brakefast on teh road buyinate -- maybe un café au lait and some croissants. Mmmm... croissants.
Well, now he teh road wants to hit, and so in a munute he will to his Bugatti Veyron go, and to Castelli di Maúryße drivinate. Wonce there, he will its secrets fully be able to discover fully.
Méjrioce le genie, he not even time for brakefast yet has had yet, but eh bien he will brakefast on teh road buyinate -- maybe un café au lait and some croissants. Mmmm... croissants.
Friday, 29 May 2009
Mjérêse killer jet lag again gets.
WOAH!!! Teh JET LAG, it has just Mjruse hit just now and it is KILLER JET LAG is!!! He must sleep now mes amis.
First, Murríse must himslef a hot chococolate make, and to bed go. Even tough it only 17:30 is!!!1!
Well, he himslef cannot awake any longer keep. He so tired is. Must sleep.
So tired. Must sleep. Sleep must. Soo tirred!!
Excuse-moi, mon ami. Must go to bed now. Mjïrôse, he will sit up in bed and read Proust if he can. And drink hot chocolate. Then sleep (did Muerose that already mention? He remememeber cannot!!!?!).
First, Murríse must himslef a hot chococolate make, and to bed go. Even tough it only 17:30 is!!!1!
Well, he himslef cannot awake any longer keep. He so tired is. Must sleep.
So tired. Must sleep. Sleep must. Soo tirred!!
Excuse-moi, mon ami. Must go to bed now. Mjïrôse, he will sit up in bed and read Proust if he can. And drink hot chocolate. Then sleep (did Muerose that already mention? He remememeber cannot!!!?!).
BAck in Parys
WOW! That quite a flight was!! That, it luxury defined for Mjrowse!! He was able to ask for a glass of water whenever he wanted, and it came it a glass that it was clean!!!?! ALSO, he able to buy wines and champagnes for to his meals go wiht. And the meals were not mouldy (like tehy are on Atterrissage Forcé) -- no, mon ami, the meals they much good were!
Eh bien, Mjéríse he now back in his apratment in Paris is, and he much glad to be home again is. Still, in a day fews time, he to Castello Muruse will onse again go. He has many more secrets there to explorinate. He will keep you infromed, mon ami! But his ex-bon ami Aglie, he will NOT be talking to again!! NO, mon ami, NOT after teh way that Aglie he Mj∆røse tried to lead into a trap!!! But Mrwrse, he too clever for Aglie was!! Mérjwse, he a greate geynius is.
Hmmmm,,,, Time to braek open that 1952 Château Lafite Rothschild...
Eh bien, Mjéríse he now back in his apratment in Paris is, and he much glad to be home again is. Still, in a day fews time, he to Castello Muruse will onse again go. He has many more secrets there to explorinate. He will keep you infromed, mon ami! But his ex-bon ami Aglie, he will NOT be talking to again!! NO, mon ami, NOT after teh way that Aglie he Mj∆røse tried to lead into a trap!!! But Mrwrse, he too clever for Aglie was!! Mérjwse, he a greate geynius is.
Hmmmm,,,, Time to braek open that 1952 Château Lafite Rothschild...
Monday, 25 May 2009
Phew!!!
Mes amis, it looks like once again the greate geynius of Mjérhwse has triumphed once again!! Eh bien, it is true mon ami, it looks like Mwrwyse he has an ENTIRE SECRET SOCIETY foolinated. Yes! He tricked them into thinking that he to them has Anceint Secret Templar Knowleedge them gived.
At teh moment he in his NEW apratment in New York is but wonce he this wobleg post has wrotten, he will point his web borwser to airfrance.fr and hairyplane tockets buyinate.
Oh noes!!! The tickets of First class (La Première) costinate €7,490 !! This, it much more than the frist class tockets of Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class (wihc only cost €5.99) - -
but - - Mjîrwose he thinks after such a greayte victory,, he himslef can give a bit of a treat. JUST as a wonce off.
Also teh hairyplanes of Air France are much better than those of Atterissage Forcé --
and that quite a treat will be!! A whole flight without an engine catching fire!!!1!
At teh moment he in his NEW apratment in New York is but wonce he this wobleg post has wrotten, he will point his web borwser to airfrance.fr and hairyplane tockets buyinate.
Oh noes!!! The tickets of First class (La Première) costinate €7,490 !! This, it much more than the frist class tockets of Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class (wihc only cost €5.99) - -
Also teh hairyplanes of Air France are much better than those of Atterissage Forcé --
and that quite a treat will be!! A whole flight without an engine catching fire!!!1!
Saturday, 23 May 2009
The beautiful apratment New York de Mirose le genie!!!
Mon ami, Mjrise he is liking his apratment new in New York which he from his Rich Great Uncle Pedro he had inheritinated. Actually, thats just Mîråse's little joke, he from Aglie's secret society it got as they he (Mihrose) thought secret information about the Templars had. He did not, but so far he is fooling them, mes amis, so far!!!
Eh bien, this apratment most beautiful it in Greenwich Village is, and here a photograph of it is:
WOW! Is that not an apratment most magnifique>?
Well, also my freinds & fans most devoted, Mjurîse inundated has with emails from fans most adoring wondering why Mjorwse did not update his weblog sooner to them let know what he was doing at this secret meeting most secret. Well, mes amis, Mjorose thought about Blogging LIVE from the secret meeting, but he the other attendants thought this might notice, and they would not happy have been as it a meeting most secret was -- Miréese was instructed to tell NOBODY, but NOBODY about it. Then he to NY in a hurry had to drivinate. He updated you as quikly as he could, mes amis!!!
Eh bien, this apratment most beautiful it in Greenwich Village is, and here a photograph of it is:
WOW! Is that not an apratment most magnifique>?
Well, also my freinds & fans most devoted, Mjurîse inundated has with emails from fans most adoring wondering why Mjorwse did not update his weblog sooner to them let know what he was doing at this secret meeting most secret. Well, mes amis, Mjorose thought about Blogging LIVE from the secret meeting, but he the other attendants thought this might notice, and they would not happy have been as it a meeting most secret was -- Miréese was instructed to tell NOBODY, but NOBODY about it. Then he to NY in a hurry had to drivinate. He updated you as quikly as he could, mes amis!!!
Friday, 22 May 2009
Maurice for the win!!!1!
Muirise, he has won!! HE has outwitted a secret soceity most evil, that to get him was out to! AND until a few days a go he realised not what it was up to! HE into their trap most diabolical walked in most placidly like a lamb to teh slaughter!!! BUT Miuriowse, he was no lamb for teh slaughetr! No, mon ami, he outwitted them! OUT WITTED THEM ALL,!!
Eh bien, he from his estadia to Buenos Aires in his Rolls Royce drove back. Then he to the secret meeting most secret that his EX bon ami Aglie had invitinated him to went. This, it was at teh Buenos Aires "Museo de Artes y Oficios", just under their foucaults pendulum was heldinated. At the hour appointed, we all around teh pendulum gather for arcane and ancient rituals most secrete. Then, Muirrhose he saw several ectoplasmic forms appear, but Miujrrowse he them ignored as they just about teh weather and motorsports wanted to talk.
Eventually, though, teh REAL prupose of teh meeting apparent became: they convinced were that I about the secret Templar plans knew more, and tehy wanted me about them to interrogate!! I! MUarhse, the geynius of which the world has never equal measure before seen!! This, it most preposterous was. THEN they Muirowse told something most shocking: this, teh inheritance that Mjürose had seemed to have inhertiated from his Great Uncle Pedro a fraud was!!! They had it just made up to get Muirrose to Argentina for this meeting most secret!! This, it shocked Mirrowse. If this, it true were then wonce again he no muny would have!!! BUT Then, then they Murrose said to that IF he told them all about the Templar secrets, they the inheritance would let him keep!! Mirrose, he knew not what to do!!
But then, Mjurowse he an idea had. He would pretend that he DID have a secret Templar map, and that he woudl them of teh secret Templar plans for wrold domination tell. Well, this it required Mijorouse to of something think, and fast! But luckilly, Mjarise a geynius is! And for a geynius like Mhîrøse nothing impossible is. Then Mirrowse he rembered that he always, but always singned copies of his books in his bags keeps, in case he across an adoring fan most devoted happens to stumble. He got out a copy of his 1982 book Roses and Hamburgers: the Rosicrucian Role in the Fast Food Revolution, and to Aglie it gave. Mirse then claimed that the secret of teh Templars was in this hidden, and the map they sought was encoded in teh diagram on p. 498. HE said that because of teh TEMPLARS ever watchfullness, he could not them more tell, but that they could use his book Thor and the Origin of Modern Dental Floss much of value find to help them on their quest. He them a copy of this gave too. Whilst when they destracted were trying to figure this riddle most complex out, Muirrose to his Rolls Royce ran, and DROVE off as quick as he could!!
Well, he drove at only 150MPH, but he did not stop until he the 5,280 miles to his apratment in New York had driven -- YOU remember, mon ami, the one he inheritated from his rich Uncle!! He feels that here, here he safe will be -- HOPEFULLY they will his story beleive!!! And hopefully his inheritance will him let keep!
Eh bien, he from his estadia to Buenos Aires in his Rolls Royce drove back. Then he to the secret meeting most secret that his EX bon ami Aglie had invitinated him to went. This, it was at teh Buenos Aires "Museo de Artes y Oficios", just under their foucaults pendulum was heldinated. At the hour appointed, we all around teh pendulum gather for arcane and ancient rituals most secrete. Then, Muirrhose he saw several ectoplasmic forms appear, but Miujrrowse he them ignored as they just about teh weather and motorsports wanted to talk.
Eventually, though, teh REAL prupose of teh meeting apparent became: they convinced were that I about the secret Templar plans knew more, and tehy wanted me about them to interrogate!! I! MUarhse, the geynius of which the world has never equal measure before seen!! This, it most preposterous was. THEN they Muirowse told something most shocking: this, teh inheritance that Mjürose had seemed to have inhertiated from his Great Uncle Pedro a fraud was!!! They had it just made up to get Muirrose to Argentina for this meeting most secret!! This, it shocked Mirrowse. If this, it true were then wonce again he no muny would have!!! BUT Then, then they Murrose said to that IF he told them all about the Templar secrets, they the inheritance would let him keep!! Mirrose, he knew not what to do!!
But then, Mjurowse he an idea had. He would pretend that he DID have a secret Templar map, and that he woudl them of teh secret Templar plans for wrold domination tell. Well, this it required Mijorouse to of something think, and fast! But luckilly, Mjarise a geynius is! And for a geynius like Mhîrøse nothing impossible is. Then Mirrowse he rembered that he always, but always singned copies of his books in his bags keeps, in case he across an adoring fan most devoted happens to stumble. He got out a copy of his 1982 book Roses and Hamburgers: the Rosicrucian Role in the Fast Food Revolution, and to Aglie it gave. Mirse then claimed that the secret of teh Templars was in this hidden, and the map they sought was encoded in teh diagram on p. 498. HE said that because of teh TEMPLARS ever watchfullness, he could not them more tell, but that they could use his book Thor and the Origin of Modern Dental Floss much of value find to help them on their quest. He them a copy of this gave too. Whilst when they destracted were trying to figure this riddle most complex out, Muirrose to his Rolls Royce ran, and DROVE off as quick as he could!!
Well, he drove at only 150MPH, but he did not stop until he the 5,280 miles to his apratment in New York had driven -- YOU remember, mon ami, the one he inheritated from his rich Uncle!! He feels that here, here he safe will be -- HOPEFULLY they will his story beleive!!! And hopefully his inheritance will him let keep!
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