MON AMIGOS!!!1! Muarise is apologise for teh long brake in posts. He has mutch sekrit inwestigating been doing ... he coven of Templars found hidden in the Tunnels of teh London Metro. He wishes he could more here abuot tihs postinate, but alas, it mutch sekrit is. He willl tell you as soon as he can.!!
Eh bien. Merise has had many friends write, email or wring to ask abuot his new hosue in London. Rather than reply to tehm All separately, he thought he wuold a wobleg post here about it right. As you aware might be, he into tihs new hosue moved on teh 25th July, & instantly problems had. EG: no furniture, no food, etc, as NATURALLY he assumed taht these tihngs would come wiht the hosue (tehy were there when he the house inspectinated with the rael estate agent.).
Eh bien. He quickly over these problems over came. He & his associate Agley were quickly abel to solve tehse problems quickly. We fuond some wery chic antiques stores, & also wisited teh Bermondsey market. It all wery much exciting was. Morrise has not had so mutch excitement since last time he boughted himself a new house & had to it furnish!!!1!!
He has gone for an elegant c18thcentury theme, wich Muarise thinks is much elegant. And indeed, it is so. He himslef painted teh walls in elegant pastel shades (egg shell blue, chiltern white, edwardian lemon, grecian white, ,,,, so many chic colors mes amis!!!?!?!
He has sanded down teh floor boreds, and wiht the help of Agley, sanded them so they most beautiful look. He then positioned his elegant authentic 18thcentury fruniture around his new hosue.
The pride of tihs new hoseu is teh library. At the moment, teh shelves are may be not as full as they couold be, but Mirose is determinated to build up a BIG colection of esoteric , rare & waluable books about teh Templars & other esoteric subjects ... including many of Moarise his other specialities e.g. film & TV in teh pre-Roman period, neolithic spacecraft, etc, etc, etc.. It much magnifique will be when Mirose has more books assembled & he cannot wait for tihs all to be finished.
Also on teh ground floor as well as the librarary is teh kitchen, teh dining room, teh longeu room & teh study. oN teh 1st floor (teh one immeadiately above teh ground floor ) is four bed rooms, a bathroom. On teh 2nd floor (teh one two floors above teh ground floor) is two more bedrooms, another study, another librarty & storadge space. Teh hosue also has a cellar wich Mirose has made suitable to be a wine cllar & already had it stocked wiht magnifique whines.
Teh longue room Mirose is wery proud of . He managed to find some bautiful silk-covered C.18th.Century longues, & a beautiful chippendale sidetable, & several magnifique potted palms. He also a wondreful cabinet to display part of Mirose his extensive beret colelction has installed.
Just before his inwestigations in teh london underground/"TUBE" he scoured art gallerys & many magnifique & authentique 18th & 19th century paintings boughted ... including some wery famous names... Mirose does n't like to "DROP NAMES' but he will mention J.M.W. Stubbs .... Joshua Turner .... George Reynolds ... amongst other s .... magnifuqe & worthy of the genyius of Mirose.
EH BIEN. Tahts all FOR NOW. Mirose leaves for NY (NEW YORK) wery soon.
Monday, 17 September 2012
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Olélympics.
MES AMIS .... this wobleg post has been many daeys in teh planning & Mierhose & his bon ami Agleì are much excited to it with you share. Aglie was so excited taht he tried to tie Meirose to his chair and throw away Mirose his laptop comptutor when Mawrise said taht he would a wobleg post abuot this be writinating. Eh bien, luckily, Moarose managed to get free.
Eh bien. A few days ago when we in a cafe were around sitting ahving brakefast, Agly explaininated that teh Olémpic Games were in fact a Templar Conspiraracy. Mierose insistatinated taht tihs we must indeed of cuorse check out. SO Aglei booked us boht tickets to a badmington matche so taht we into teh olélympic stadium could sneak in undectinated. Mirose had to pretendinate to be interested in badminton: quite a difficult ask, even for a geynius such as Mororse (littel known fact: nobody is interested in badmington, not even the players). But some-how, he tihs remarkable feet managed.
Eh bien. Teh main point is taht Morose & Ageli were abel to buy "tickets": to an "ol;ympic ewent" & go a long just liek any ohter punter, & tehy stopped by teh Templars were not. Once inside, we abel to sneak away from teh game were, & wander around teh stadyium . Mirose quickly found a sekrit door witch lead down to stairs going down in a downwards direction. Mawrise & Agley were abel to take tehse stairs down to teh lower levels below teh Olélympic stadium & find many sekrit tunnels & rooms taht clearly were made by teh Templars for teihr own sinsiter, shady sekrit actiwities. Witch do not, of course, include badmington. Even teh Templars find badmington borring.
We wondered around for several days. After a few days it became clear taht we were lost & cuold not find teh way out. Even thuogh we little supplies had & were in grave danger of running out we our IMPROTANT work kept up. All taht we too intrepid explorers had were:
Mierose (grudgingly) agreed to sharinate teh shampain wiht Aglei.
EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Whilst in teh tunnels tehy many interwesting Templar sekrists fuond. Aglei stumbled across a heap of discareded sekrit manuscripts withc we purloined. We also managed to infiltrate a sekrit Templar meeting & hide up teh back making notes abuot their diabolical plans for London for teh next 2,000 years following on from teh Olylmpiucs. Tehse included many sekrit & devious plans including:
EH BIEN. Mirose is planning to stay in London for a few more days, tehn fly to New York. More soon.
A bientot!!!?!?!!!
~MUAROSE.
Eh bien. A few days ago when we in a cafe were around sitting ahving brakefast, Agly explaininated that teh Olémpic Games were in fact a Templar Conspiraracy. Mierose insistatinated taht tihs we must indeed of cuorse check out. SO Aglei booked us boht tickets to a badmington matche so taht we into teh olélympic stadium could sneak in undectinated. Mirose had to pretendinate to be interested in badminton: quite a difficult ask, even for a geynius such as Mororse (littel known fact: nobody is interested in badmington, not even the players). But some-how, he tihs remarkable feet managed.
Eh bien. Teh main point is taht Morose & Ageli were abel to buy "tickets": to an "ol;ympic ewent" & go a long just liek any ohter punter, & tehy stopped by teh Templars were not. Once inside, we abel to sneak away from teh game were, & wander around teh stadyium . Mirose quickly found a sekrit door witch lead down to stairs going down in a downwards direction. Mawrise & Agley were abel to take tehse stairs down to teh lower levels below teh Olélympic stadium & find many sekrit tunnels & rooms taht clearly were made by teh Templars for teihr own sinsiter, shady sekrit actiwities. Witch do not, of course, include badmington. Even teh Templars find badmington borring.
We wondered around for several days. After a few days it became clear taht we were lost & cuold not find teh way out. Even thuogh we little supplies had & were in grave danger of running out we our IMPROTANT work kept up. All taht we too intrepid explorers had were:
- Agley: 3 Mars bars, 1 ham sandwitch
- Muariçe: 1 half-bottel of champain (Krug Rôsè, OF CUORSE)
Mierose (grudgingly) agreed to sharinate teh shampain wiht Aglei.
EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Whilst in teh tunnels tehy many interwesting Templar sekrists fuond. Aglei stumbled across a heap of discareded sekrit manuscripts withc we purloined. We also managed to infiltrate a sekrit Templar meeting & hide up teh back making notes abuot their diabolical plans for London for teh next 2,000 years following on from teh Olylmpiucs. Tehse included many sekrit & devious plans including:
- Replacing teh Lord Mayor of London wiht an unelected Templar
- Forcing teh banks to engage in unethical & Riskey trading taht wuold bring teh entire finantcials system to its knees, allowing teh Templars to step in & Take control (seems unliekly theylll manage tihs!!!!1!)
- Increase the cost of taxi rides by 1.118211111111% (Agleu says teh number 1,118,211,111,111 is of GRATE significants to Teh Templars but wont say why. Stupid nongeynius.)
EH BIEN. Mirose is planning to stay in London for a few more days, tehn fly to New York. More soon.
A bientot!!!?!?!!!
~MUAROSE.
Friday, 3 August 2012
Mierose his new Greenwitch hosue.
MES AMIS ..... as yuo might rember, Mwerise has arrivinated in sunny Londres on 25ht July 2012 AD. He mutch excitinated to see his new London hosue was , but tehre porblems imeadiately were:
Teh wery next day (Auguest 26th) he was abel to go shopping at teh most exlcusive antiques shoppes to mutch furniture buyinate to make his hosue wery luxurious. He also abel to buyinate food , and find teh bestest restorrants in teh region,.
ALSO Mórrise has himslef a new Jagular XF boughted. Teh one wiht teh 5,0L V8 SC engine. And teh Bowers & Wilkins suond system. Muariwse wiht it mutch happy is & even Agliè it mutch likes.
Eh bien. Morrise had mutch excitment in finding antique fruniture for teh hosue. He many wery beautiful peices from the late 19th Centrury found, and a few wery beaitiful peices from teh Elizabeth I period. Including a lovely oak sideboard witch wery lovely is.
Morrise & Agly went for a walk in Greenwitch park & it mutch nice is. Agley & Morise also founded a wery nice cafe near Miruce his house & their brakefast have had many times. One mroning over brakefast (bacon, eggs, coffee) Agley explaininated taht the Olélympics are a Templar conspirarcy. Mworoce will be inwestigatinating teh ... wery interwesting links between teh templars, teh rosicrucians & teh olylympics. He will alowinate Aglié too tag along too.. He will more post abuot tihs here -- as tehy say in Amorica -- watch tihs space...!!!!1!!>??!!!!.,
- Tehre no furniture was. Mwerise by tihs was mutch annoyed, as he had lieked teh furniture taht in teh hosue was & naturally assuminated taht tihs wiht teh house came.
- Tehre no food in teh fridge was. Morrise naturally assuminated taht teh fridge wuold be left stocked wiht luxury food for him. But tehre wasnt even a fridge!!!1!.
- Teh Olélympics had some stupid :"OPENING CEREMEONY" wiht fierworks taht him awake all night kept. He much annoyinated by tihs was , & tried to Lodge a NOISE COMPLIANT but teh polis at him just luaghinated.
Teh wery next day (Auguest 26th) he was abel to go shopping at teh most exlcusive antiques shoppes to mutch furniture buyinate to make his hosue wery luxurious. He also abel to buyinate food , and find teh bestest restorrants in teh region,.
ALSO Mórrise has himslef a new Jagular XF boughted. Teh one wiht teh 5,0L V8 SC engine. And teh Bowers & Wilkins suond system. Muariwse wiht it mutch happy is & even Agliè it mutch likes.
Eh bien. Morrise had mutch excitment in finding antique fruniture for teh hosue. He many wery beautiful peices from the late 19th Centrury found, and a few wery beaitiful peices from teh Elizabeth I period. Including a lovely oak sideboard witch wery lovely is.
Morrise & Agly went for a walk in Greenwitch park & it mutch nice is. Agley & Morise also founded a wery nice cafe near Miruce his house & their brakefast have had many times. One mroning over brakefast (bacon, eggs, coffee) Agley explaininated taht the Olélympics are a Templar conspirarcy. Mworoce will be inwestigatinating teh ... wery interwesting links between teh templars, teh rosicrucians & teh olylympics. He will alowinate Aglié too tag along too.. He will more post abuot tihs here -- as tehy say in Amorica -- watch tihs space...!!!!1!!>??!!!!.,
Friday, 27 July 2012
Teh Templars of MALTA
MES AMIS>.... Maerose wery mutch in tihs wobleg post abuot his new Hosue in Greenwitch wanted to writinate... but taht will ahve to wait. It occurs to him taht he has n't abuot teh raid on teh Templar castel in Malta wroted, or abuot teh Heroic Flight TO Freedom in teh UK taht followe.d. SO taht post most magnifique abiot his new Hosue will ahve to WAIT a few days more.
EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.
Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).
Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was.
We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!
Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:
Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.
It wery bad was.
Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.
He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.
Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken nongeynius aiport.
Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.
At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........
EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.
Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).
Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was.
We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!
Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:
- plans for Templar sekrit plans for teh next 500 years. Including how to fix the Olimpics so taht Greece wins 100% of teh gold medal,s destabilisng all world economies & leaving them abel to take control of the world.
- A secret history of teh world by a Well Known Rosicrucian named "Elmer the Disputably Puce".
- A map of teluric currants & how these can be used to lower your elecricity bills to low low low preices ( & also seize control of teh world -- theyre working on this one, but Muairse has so far managed to frustrate tehm in teihr efforst wiht this -- & Now he has more sekrit knowledge abuot tihs so he can tehm frustrate even More. And, also, lower his power bills.)
- A manuscript in acient greek detailing teh links between teh templars, teh rosicrusians, & teh Ford Motor Company .
- A manuscropt in Etruscan abuot how teh Templars planned to control world financial systems wiht a plan taht would hatch in 1100 AD -- witch fortunately did not succeed!!!!!
Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.
It wery bad was.
Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.
He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.
Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken nongeynius aiport.
Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.
At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Moaroses GRANDE new hosue in SUNNY SE10.
Merise has just finished celebratinating "Bastille Day" (en Anglais: la Fête Nationale........). It wery good was, & Maorise too mutch Romaee-Conti dranked.
Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Evwen though Moarose enjoyinated celebratinating teh Festival of teh French republique, he here to tell you abuot buying a hosue in teh Untied Kingdom is. And taht is waht he will do.
Eh bien. As regular raeders might rember, Moarise wanteded to buyinate a hosue in Londres. he had decidinated taht he would buy teh bestest hosue on teh market, evwen if it wuold bankr-upt him for ever&ever because a geynius of his stature would not for 2nd best settle. BUT, he was GAZUMPED by some non-geyniyuys "busyness man".
Muarhose was of cuorse by this much upset. BUT he has raelised taht , actually, it a Blessing In Dis-Guise was. Why, you may ask, mes amis???
WELL:
Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Evwen though Moarose enjoyinated celebratinating teh Festival of teh French republique, he here to tell you abuot buying a hosue in teh Untied Kingdom is. And taht is waht he will do.
Eh bien. As regular raeders might rember, Moarise wanteded to buyinate a hosue in Londres. he had decidinated taht he would buy teh bestest hosue on teh market, evwen if it wuold bankr-upt him for ever&ever because a geynius of his stature would not for 2nd best settle. BUT, he was GAZUMPED by some non-geyniyuys "busyness man".
Muarhose was of cuorse by this much upset. BUT he has raelised taht , actually, it a Blessing In Dis-Guise was. Why, you may ask, mes amis???
WELL:
- It ment Moarose would not bank rupt for ever&ever be <-- witch would be wery bad
- Morece managed to grabbinate £20,000 from teh rich busyness man's limousin, so he acutally came out of tihs ahead financially
- He a wery chic hosue in "SE10" (a.k.a. Greenwitch) has founded.
Tahts rite. Maorise a wery chic hosue in SE10 has foundinated. And he wiht it is much pleased.
It wery elegant in an contemprorary Elizabeth Ist style is, with much wood panneling & wery ornate fireplaces is. It wery spacious is, wiht 8 bedrooms, three studies, four withdrawing rooms (+ four depositing rooms to balance out all tohse withdrawing rooms)), six bathrooms, two dinning rooms & a wery elegant chefs style "cuisiner"/kitchen in witch Moaruise can already imagine himslef cooking up many elegant diners for him & his many litererararary/intelectual freinds.... even thuogh he yet to move in has.
Taht;s not all, mes amis. Miurose is also tihnking of buyinating a country re-treat in teh Untied Kingdom. First he must up some muny save (maybe he cuold publish anohter hot bestcellar book!! Taht wuold make lots of muney for him).
Eh bien. Mirose will tell you more as it happenates. As it is now, I back in Malta am on holyday wiht mon associate Agly. Have found mutch of interest abuot teh TEMPLARS & teh KNIGHTS OF MALTA but Uglîe said taht Meroce must not abuot Maeroses post on his wobleg & taht he raelly ment this & taht he wuold not includinate Muarise in any off his secret Templar studies in future if Muarise this did. Stupid nongeynius Aglei. Muarhose, he a GRATER geynius is.
Thursday, 5 July 2012
GAZUMPED!!!
Mes amis,..... a tragedie most tragique has occurinated... let me you tell....
Mes amis... Moarose has taken a break from his holiday in Malta to a hosue in London buy.
He is in teh charming city of Londres, England so he can find himslef a hosue that is worthy of his geynius. But he porblems hit even before he he arrivinated. He searched for porperties on teh intern-net taht might of his geynius be worhthy.
BUT he quicjkly founded taht he was priced out of teh top end of teh market!!!?!@1?!?!??????!!! This was inconceivable!!.!?! INCONCEIVABLE!?!????!!!@@ It could not be! Mwaroce a grate geynius is, & so teh best of everything shuold have.
SO it did n't take him long to come to teh conclussion taht he would just have to buyinate teh bestest house possible, even if it bank rupted him for ever& ever. It worth it would be. It would teh message send taht tihs geynius would not settel for 2nd or 3nd best.
SO he around searched & tihs hosue found:
Quality 12 bedroom property for sale in Campden Hill, Kensington, London, W8 - unmodernised, garden, tennis court, garage, planning permission, swimming pool, wine cellar, cottage, country house - Price on application
So he looked at teh web-sight listing & he it much lieked. It was worhtyt of teh geynius of Morrose. So he a viewing of teh porpety arranginated, and indeed he it on Tuesday managed to inspectinate wiht teh Real Estate Agent. He an extensive tuor of teh hosue had & he it much lieked, so he an offer of £42,000,000 to teh real estate agent maded. Teh unreal estat agent was wiht tihs mutch happy, so we back to his car went.
Unfrotunately, taht is when tihngs started to go worng. A car next to us pulled up & Marose by it was much annoyed as it had wery loud rap music playinating which Merose annoyed. SO he went over to complain & TEHN he noticed taht this car -- a big Limousin -- was FULL OF CASH -- all £50 & £100 notes, too, mes amis -- Mjwrose would tohse recognise any where,.
Tehn a man wiht short dark hair & dark glasses got out of teh car. He was wearing a black suit & blakc tie, & looked intimidatating. Maorise was certain he a gun had.
"Hello," he said, "am wery important Russkiĭ business man & am to be havink absolutely no connection to KGB or Russian Mafia, da?" Teh real estat agent noded nerviously. "Am vantink to buy house, da? Pay cash, is good, da?"
Again teh rael estate agent nodded, but thihs time maybe more excitidely tahn nervously.
"Good. Am offer £100,000,000 for tihs hosue, in cash, no qvestions, da? You accept, da?"
Marose was just abuot to explain explanitorially taht he had an offer on teh hosue made, & also he a grate geynius was, so tihs gentelman it could not ahve, when teh rael estate agent push me aside & said "Yes, of course, sir, that would do nicely."
Móarose was abuot to protest, but he had been pushed off to one side. Maorose! Teh grate geynius!!! Of course he reacted wiht teh calmness & composure for which he is famous. He went back & protested his case most calmly. Maorose might ahve slightly hit tehm with his duck-handled walking stick. Even so, teh rael estate agent taht angry did not have to get & teh highly respected & legitimate Russian business man did not at Moarose have to shootinate. He is certain taht a few stiches are all thats need for the slight cuts to the real estate agents face, & the estate agents car will be fine once a panel beater has beaten out some of teh dents & scratches. And he only broke half teh windows on teh limousine.
Eh bien. Meorose was left to walk back to his ho-tel. Walk!! Teh indignity.
Merise he knows taht Russian business men are highly respected in U.K. business circles as being wery reliable & respectable so he not surpised taht he a hosue in teh U,.K, wanted to buyinate. But he should have realised taht Mierose was teh grater geynius of teh two, & Conceded tihs house to Maoroçe.
On teh bright side, Maorise was abel to grab several handfulls of £100 notes in teh confusion (wiht money flying everywhere) wehn he broke teh windows of teh Russian gentlemans car & tehm in his pockets stuff. So he ahead is. By £20,000.
Mierose is tihinking of maybe a hosue in Greenwich buying. Okay, so may be it not quite as glamorous as Kensignton is, but at least tihs way he will not himself bankrupt for ever & ever.
And may be he should also a country estate some wherre in teh English cuountryside most charming.
Or maybe he shold his town hosue in Edinborough buyinate???
Decisions, mes amis, decisions....!!!1!
Mes amis... Moarose has taken a break from his holiday in Malta to a hosue in London buy.
He is in teh charming city of Londres, England so he can find himslef a hosue that is worthy of his geynius. But he porblems hit even before he he arrivinated. He searched for porperties on teh intern-net taht might of his geynius be worhthy.
BUT he quicjkly founded taht he was priced out of teh top end of teh market!!!?!@1?!?!??????!!! This was inconceivable!!.!?! INCONCEIVABLE!?!????!!!@@ It could not be! Mwaroce a grate geynius is, & so teh best of everything shuold have.
SO it did n't take him long to come to teh conclussion taht he would just have to buyinate teh bestest house possible, even if it bank rupted him for ever& ever. It worth it would be. It would teh message send taht tihs geynius would not settel for 2nd or 3nd best.
SO he around searched & tihs hosue found:
Quality 12 bedroom property for sale in Campden Hill, Kensington, London, W8 - unmodernised, garden, tennis court, garage, planning permission, swimming pool, wine cellar, cottage, country house - Price on application
So he looked at teh web-sight listing & he it much lieked. It was worhtyt of teh geynius of Morrose. So he a viewing of teh porpety arranginated, and indeed he it on Tuesday managed to inspectinate wiht teh Real Estate Agent. He an extensive tuor of teh hosue had & he it much lieked, so he an offer of £42,000,000 to teh real estate agent maded. Teh unreal estat agent was wiht tihs mutch happy, so we back to his car went.
Unfrotunately, taht is when tihngs started to go worng. A car next to us pulled up & Marose by it was much annoyed as it had wery loud rap music playinating which Merose annoyed. SO he went over to complain & TEHN he noticed taht this car -- a big Limousin -- was FULL OF CASH -- all £50 & £100 notes, too, mes amis -- Mjwrose would tohse recognise any where,.
Tehn a man wiht short dark hair & dark glasses got out of teh car. He was wearing a black suit & blakc tie, & looked intimidatating. Maorise was certain he a gun had.
"Hello," he said, "am wery important Russkiĭ business man & am to be havink absolutely no connection to KGB or Russian Mafia, da?" Teh real estat agent noded nerviously. "Am vantink to buy house, da? Pay cash, is good, da?"
Again teh rael estate agent nodded, but thihs time maybe more excitidely tahn nervously.
"Good. Am offer £100,000,000 for tihs hosue, in cash, no qvestions, da? You accept, da?"
Marose was just abuot to explain explanitorially taht he had an offer on teh hosue made, & also he a grate geynius was, so tihs gentelman it could not ahve, when teh rael estate agent push me aside & said "Yes, of course, sir, that would do nicely."
Móarose was abuot to protest, but he had been pushed off to one side. Maorose! Teh grate geynius!!! Of course he reacted wiht teh calmness & composure for which he is famous. He went back & protested his case most calmly. Maorose might ahve slightly hit tehm with his duck-handled walking stick. Even so, teh rael estate agent taht angry did not have to get & teh highly respected & legitimate Russian business man did not at Moarose have to shootinate. He is certain taht a few stiches are all thats need for the slight cuts to the real estate agents face, & the estate agents car will be fine once a panel beater has beaten out some of teh dents & scratches. And he only broke half teh windows on teh limousine.
Eh bien. Meorose was left to walk back to his ho-tel. Walk!! Teh indignity.
Merise he knows taht Russian business men are highly respected in U.K. business circles as being wery reliable & respectable so he not surpised taht he a hosue in teh U,.K, wanted to buyinate. But he should have realised taht Mierose was teh grater geynius of teh two, & Conceded tihs house to Maoroçe.
On teh bright side, Maorise was abel to grab several handfulls of £100 notes in teh confusion (wiht money flying everywhere) wehn he broke teh windows of teh Russian gentlemans car & tehm in his pockets stuff. So he ahead is. By £20,000.
Mierose is tihinking of maybe a hosue in Greenwich buying. Okay, so may be it not quite as glamorous as Kensignton is, but at least tihs way he will not himself bankrupt for ever & ever.
And may be he should also a country estate some wherre in teh English cuountryside most charming.
Or maybe he shold his town hosue in Edinborough buyinate???
Decisions, mes amis, decisions....!!!1!
Monday, 2 July 2012
Le Magnifique Londres abode de Mewrise
Mes amis... you might on Twitter(TM) or FaceBook(TM) have Miroce;s tweets abuot buyinating a hosue in London ahve read. Yes, thats right, Morose is tihnking abuot buying a hosue in London. Rember, you read it here first. Unless you raed it on twitter first, in witch case you read it there first.
Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is that Mirhose he rather an Unplaesent shock got when he for houses started to look. Teh most exclusive, top-of-teh range porperties, tehy were OUT of teh price range of Mirohjse!! Tihs was an outrage!!!1!!?!?!? a catastrophey!!?!?!?!?!?@>!>?@!?!
This is one of the 1st hosues he looked at:
OKAY, so it a magnifique apratment is... but $18M?!?!?!?! Not tres bien. Tres bad.
LUCKILY he fuond many wery chic hosues such as tihs one in New Road, LONDRES E1 for a mutch more raisonable £1,500,000. Mutch better, and Morose is shure taht E1 is a wery trendy upmarket area of London.
He also found one in a jam factory(?!?!?!???!) witch despite teh odd setting was wery modern & chic & Morose lieked it mutch. PLUS it only £950,000 only was, whitch mutch reasonabable is. It in somewhere called "SE1" is. Meroise does not know where this is, but assumes it must be in North West London. And Mierose assumes he would much free jam samples get from teh jam factory, which would be tres bien.
He also tihs one in "SE26" lieks.. ALMOST worthy for Moarose!!1!
But tehn.. Morose had a REALISATION. He was settling for 2nd best. Maybe evwen 3rd best. And tihs Mojorse will NEVER do. NEVER. OH NO, mes amis, he will not be sidelined or bested. He must be teh bestest. As he teh gratest geynius is.
SO, he decidinated, whatever teh cost, he will teh most expensive hosue in Londres get. Even if it bankrupts him & he in it in penury for teh rest of his life ahs to live. It wuold be worht it.
SO, tehn he looked again at teh wobsite. He saw tihs one in Kensington for £30,000,000 but Moarhoce will NOT be fooled into buying a MERE apratment for taht much muny, no siree.
But tehn he saw TIHS PLACE:
CAMPDEN HILL, KENSINGTON, LONDON, W8 PRICE ON APPLICATION
And it magnifique is.
Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is that Mirhose he rather an Unplaesent shock got when he for houses started to look. Teh most exclusive, top-of-teh range porperties, tehy were OUT of teh price range of Mirohjse!! Tihs was an outrage!!!1!!?!?!? a catastrophey!!?!?!?!?!?@>!>?@!?!
This is one of the 1st hosues he looked at:
Orchard Court
Portman Square London, EN W1H 6LG United Kingdom
$18,273,717 USD / £11,750,000 GBP
OKAY, so it a magnifique apratment is... but $18M?!?!?!?! Not tres bien. Tres bad.
LUCKILY he fuond many wery chic hosues such as tihs one in New Road, LONDRES E1 for a mutch more raisonable £1,500,000. Mutch better, and Morose is shure taht E1 is a wery trendy upmarket area of London.
He also found one in a jam factory(?!?!?!???!) witch despite teh odd setting was wery modern & chic & Morose lieked it mutch. PLUS it only £950,000 only was, whitch mutch reasonabable is. It in somewhere called "SE1" is. Meroise does not know where this is, but assumes it must be in North West London. And Mierose assumes he would much free jam samples get from teh jam factory, which would be tres bien.
He also tihs one in "SE26" lieks.. ALMOST worthy for Moarose!!1!
But tehn.. Morose had a REALISATION. He was settling for 2nd best. Maybe evwen 3rd best. And tihs Mojorse will NEVER do. NEVER. OH NO, mes amis, he will not be sidelined or bested. He must be teh bestest. As he teh gratest geynius is.
SO, he decidinated, whatever teh cost, he will teh most expensive hosue in Londres get. Even if it bankrupts him & he in it in penury for teh rest of his life ahs to live. It wuold be worht it.
SO, tehn he looked again at teh wobsite. He saw tihs one in Kensington for £30,000,000 but Moarhoce will NOT be fooled into buying a MERE apratment for taht much muny, no siree.
But tehn he saw TIHS PLACE:
CAMPDEN HILL, KENSINGTON, LONDON, W8 PRICE ON APPLICATION
And it magnifique is.
Finally, a hosue worthy of Morose!! He will not skulk in teh shadows!!!1! He will not be beaten or 2nd bested!! NO SIREE,. He will his CitationJet to London tomorrow flyinate, and buy teh hosue immeadiatly. Watch tihs space...........
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