Maurice on Facebook

Oh no.

Maurice has started playing one of those restaurant games on Facebook(tm).

Stop it Maurice! Just stop it, please! You'll break Facebook -- either that, or damage the sanity of other users. More than normal that is.

This is why I don't use Facebook meself, eh?

Yours nuttily,
Ratatoskr.

Hairyplane tockets to Australialai

Hello again mes amis,

Murrhese is in his hosue in teh Suoth of France. But he is even now a return trip to his home-land (Australie) planninating. So, just now he hairyplane tockets buoght. Tihs time, he planed to travel by Air France rather tahn Atterrissage Forcé again. Teh prices were prefectly raesonable for a First Class tocket (which a GEYNIUS such as Murise deserves!!!):



But tehn, woe, castrophe! For some strange raison, Mierryçe ended up wiht Atterrissage Forcé tickets again!!!
Just because he booked teh tickets using http://tocketsonlion.atterrissage-forcé.fr! Tihs is no excuse, taht website should KNOW taht Mirrese ACTUALYY Air France tockets wanted! it most intolerable is!!

Especially as teh Atterrissage Forcé tockets ended up much, much more expensive taht the AIr France ones (as Mirrhyse accidentally every possible optional extra selectinated). Teh Air France tockets would have cost €7500 for a tocket from Montpellier to Sydney, Atterrissage Forcé costinated €18695.83!!! Stilll, for a grate geynius like Mwrise, it worth it is. Just so long as they crash again do not...

So, mes amis, Mwruse will wery, wery soon be home in Paris, NSW, Australia. Watch for him tehre striding teh wide boulevardes, and drinking coffee in teh many cafes!!!

Defeatinated

It is a rare wobleg post for Mirrose, but even a grate geynius must some times raelise taht he has been defeatinated.

Merjuse about it much does not want to talk, but he will just this little bit say.

He teh Third Option decideded to yesterday take, and so INITAILLY he pretendinated to teh Doctor assist. We both stoped Agly from teh world taking over, and took teh Anceint Sekrit Templar Objects of Power off him. Myreçe made certian that it was Mirowse who ended up holding these. Tehn we took Agly back to 2010, and left ihm in his apratment on teh Boulevard Saint-Germain in Paris. We did NOT him teh TARDIS let keep.

Tehn, wehn Mirose & teh Doctor were back in teh Tardis, Murrhose revaeled his Feindish Plan to teh Doctor. He grabed teh Templar Orb of Power and was it abuot to  use (ignorinating teh entreaties from teh Doctor) wehn teh Orb started to snigger. Also, Mirrose noted taht it was scaly. Tehn, it jumped out of Mirroses hand and ran off. Oh noes, it was teh Chamelelelelleone again!!! Mirrwse thought that he it had off Mureses scent last year thrown!!! And yet, it was NOT SO!!!

Murrhose still teh Doctor treid to defeatinate, but wihtout teh Templar Objects of Power, it not possible was. Mirrose also treid to conwinse teh Doctor taht it would be GOOD for Merrese to be in control of teh entire world, and how a GEYNIUS of teh stature of Mirrwse would be abel to fixinate EVERY PORBLEM IN TEH WORLD EVER, but he listen would not. Teh Doctor, claerly an Inferior Mind to Murrjse, was NOT abel to recognise teh Grate Geynius of Mirrose.

Alas, he Mirrose back at his Castel in Umbria left him, a few days after Mirrose had left to time tarvelling go. Teh Docteur has not even Mirrhose his Time Machine let keep!! He has it confiscated!!! TAHTS NOT FARE!!!!!!1!!

ALAS for Mirrose, and ALAS for teh WORLD taht it missetd out on teh OPORTUNITY to have a geynius such as Murrhyse in control!!!!!

Wobleg post, LIVE from Templar HQ, Jerusalem, 1128

OKAY, mes amis. Mwrrhyse has a Quandry. A wery, wery big Quandry. He is Not Certaian Who To Trust.

If you teh twitter feed of Mirrhose follow (and if not you shuiold as he is, after all, teh GRATEST GEYNIUS TO EVER LIVE EVER), tehn you will know taht a few days ago mon bon ami Àgly most rudely stole teh Tardis of Mirrose his house-guest teh Doctor. Teh Doctor was by tihs much upset, and so Mirrose decidinated to help him it again once again find. We in teh Time Machine of Mirrose after Aglei followinated.

We endeded up in some raelly odd places, but ewentually tracked Agley to teh Templar HQ on Temple Mount, in Jerusalem, in 1128AD. Mirrhose is curently near teh Templar HQ, in Mirrhose his Time Machine, wiht teh Doctor & Agly.

OKAY. The Quandry.

Teh Doctor claims taht Aglié has evil, evil plans to sieze control of teh world and enslave all of humanity, using several anceint sekrit objects of power.

Aglîe claims taht of cuorse this RUBBISH is, and he is only trying to gather more infromation on Templar plots taht he has not up to now been abel to get hold of. He CLIAMS taht if he WANTED to sieize control of teh World, he could have done taht already. But eh doesnt want to.

Teh Doctorr says taht of Course Agly would tihs deny, but pionts out teh underhanded way he teh Tardis stole, and taht he has tried to kill Mirrose in teh past.

Agly says taht as a scholar he cannot any regard to "conwentional morals" pay.

Teh Doctor says Exactly, taht proves my piont!!! He's an evwil, ploting meglamaniac!!!

Agley says taht he can melt diamonds, and use twellve (12) small ones to a perffect large dianmond form. HE said taht if Mirrhose Him helps,, tehn he will show Mirrhose how to tihs do!!

Teh Doctor says Dont BEleive him!! He's just trying to bribeinate you!! Once he gets control of teh World, he will enslave you wiht EVERY ONE ELSE!!!

WHO TO BELIEVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Even a geynius as grate as Mirrose knows not.

Hmmmm... A Third optoin presents itself. PRETENDINATE to side wiht teh Doctor, betray Agly, TEHN betray teh Doctor & Use teh objects of Power to World Domination seize ... for Mawrhyse!! Waht could be better?!?! Teh WORLD would be a better place if ruled by a geynius such as Mirrhose!! It would teh World a FAVOUR be doing!! Tihs, it not meglomaniacal power grabbing be, it would be an act of CIVIC DUTY.!!! Hm......

So, Mirrhose is sure waht to do not. But teh TIHRD optioon, it so far teh best seems. After all, it wuold not be for Mirrhjeçe taht he is doing it. It would be doing teh ENTIRE WORLD a wery, wery big favuor... Hm.....

Teh hosuewarming praty of Mwerise his Castel in Umbria!!1!

Mes amis, Mirrhose finally managed to his castel in Puglia, Umbria finally get. He yesterdaey held a  housewarming praty. Well! Waht a day yesterday was.

Mirrose some mysterious wisitors had, who turned up in a large blue box marked "Polis". Teh young man called himslef "Teh Doctor", and teh young lady "Amy". Tehy were after Agliè for some raison, aprarently tehy thought he was trying to seize control of teh world(?!?!). But Agly conwinced tehm he was just trying to stop teh Templars from doing tihs. So insteaed tehy helped Mirrhose with teh cooking for teh hosuewarming praty.

Tehn teh Daleks and Teh Cybermen turned up, even toughg Mirose ahd NOT inwited tehm. Still, since tehy brought presents so Merrhise thuoght it would much rude be to turn tehm away. Instaed, he managed to conwince tehm to help with teh cooking. Tehy were much good at tihs (boy can those Daleks whisk eggs well!!!), so Mirrose disappointed was when after several hours teh Doctor, Amy & Aglíe managed to defeat both teh daleks and teh cybermen. Tihs anoyed Mirrhose, who apreciated teh help tehy were him giving in teh kitchen. Just because tehy also wanted to take control of teh world!!!

All seemed to be going well. Mirrose tehn wanted a coffee, and accidentally turned on a sekrit Dalek weapon rather tahn teh espresso machine. Teh Doctor & Mirrose managed to defuse it, but teh Doctor much surprised was to see taht Mirrose has also a sonic screwdirver. OF CUORSE Mirhjose does. He a grate geynius is,

Teh guests (inclduign mon bon ami Silvio Burlesconi) arrivinated at lunch time, *& Mwrese tehm a light lunch providinated. Tehn tehy were taken for a tour of Castello di Mierrose di Umbria by Merruçe, Agly, teh Doctor & Amy. Mirrose to slip away and prepare teh banquette had to.

Teh dinner, it was (of cuorse!) Magnifique! Mirrhose teh food preparinated, and teh wines wehre chosen from teh Extensive cellar of Mirrhose by teh Doctor & Aglÿ.

Teh Hosuewarming Praty of Castello di Marrose di Umbria
Castello di Mwrrhyse di Umbria, 9:30pm, 30th May 2010

Apéritif
Pâte de Fois Gras, A selection of fine cheeses, Mirroses famuous home baeked breads.
1952 Bollinger Champagne

Entrée/1st course
Slowly roasted goats cheese, with beetroot, pistachio and roasted parsnip.
1934 Seguin-Manuel Bâtard-Montrachet

2nd course
Roast pigeon with creamy white truffle sauce, served with quail's eggs, confit of black truffles, seared fois gras and a selection of seasonal vegetables.
1947 Château Cheval Blanc

3rd course
Lightly seared wagyu beef in a rich mushroom sauce, with fois gras, oysters and scallops, served with a seaweed and sesame seed salad.
809BC Caves des Templiers Hermitage

4th course
Crab in a cream and white wine sauce, served with a salad of apple, fennel, celeriac and rocket in a honey dressing.
1975 Château Haut Brion Blanc

Dessert
Mirrhose famuos tarte tartin
1893 Château d'Yquem

Cheese
A selection of finest cheeses
1853 Whitwham Porto Vintage

Digestif
Mirrhose his famuos macarons.
Served wiht Mirrhoses famuos coffee or Mirrhoses famuos hot chocolate.

Teh dinner wehnt EXCEPTIONALLy well, & everyone (including teh Doctor) enjoyed them seelves enormously. Teh only slight porblem was taht Mirrose had expected all 250 poeple taht he had inwited to turn up, and only 50 people did. Oh noes!!! Still, tihs meant tehre was MOre Whine for everybody!!! Mirrose drunk an entire bottel of 1947 Cheval Blanc wehn Agly was out of teh room for a few minutes.

Also, teh Doctor still seems suspicuous of Aglie. Aparently tehy have met a few times before. They claim tehy last met in Paris in 1721. But taht's iMPOSIBLE!! NOBODY, not even Mirhose, could LIVE TAHT LONG!!!!!!!! Odd, mes amis, odd.

2009 Castello di Murrhyse: teh whines

Aglié has porvided Mwrise wiht a list of teh grate whines that Castello di Mwurise has producinated from teh 2009 wintage. Teh list was written by Aglié, so Murrhose must apologiese for teh many speling mistaekes taht Agly (a lesser mind tahn Mirose) has made.

So, wihtout further adieu, here is teh list of whines. Get your pens raedy to order ALL OF TEHM!!

Ultra-Premium wines

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘Il Genio del Vino’ Castelli Romani DOC Rosso
Price: €40.00
Release date: July 2012
A blend of Sangiovese, Merlot and Montepulciano. Inspired by the Genius of Maurice de Perfossor. Wines made from a blend of Sangiovese, Montepulciano and other red grapes were discussed by a Templar manuscript written in 1621, and were apparently a favourite of the Grand Master of that time.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘The Rosey Cross’ Castelli Romani DOC Rosato
Price: €30
Release date: July 2010
Our premium rosé, made in a style described in an ancient Rosicrucian manuscript. A blend of Sangiovese and Cesanese.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘La Spada di Seta’ Castelli Romani DOC Bianco
Price: €35.00
Release date: July 2011
A light yellow wine that says little, but reveals much. According to ancient Templar traditions, this type of wine was drunk every year at Templar banquets to mark Easter and the end of Lent. A blend of Malvasia, Trebbiano Romagnolo and Trebbiano di Soave.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘Il Gran Maestro del Vino’ Colli Albani Superiore DOC
Price: €30
Release date: July 2010
Made from a blend of Trebbiano Romagnolo and Trebbiano di Soave. Based on a description from a 7^th century Templar manuscript.

2009 Castello di Maurice ‘Sacra Piramide’ IGT Lazio
Price: €30.00/half bottle
Release date: July 2012
Named after a secret Templar conspiracy from the 16^th century, which... but I’ve told you too much already. Made from Chardonnay and Verdelho grapes from a plot I found near the edge of the estate that had been neglected and had grown wild. A sweet wine, made from Botrytis affected fruit.

Premium wines

2009 Castello di Maurice Barbera/Syrah IGT Lazio
Price: €20.00
Release date: July 2011
An unusual blend, inspired by a side remark in a 7^th century manuscript written by an obscure Templar herbalist.

2009 Castello di Maurice Sangiovese IGT Lazio
Price: €20.00
Release date: July 2010
The blood of Jove! That reminds me of a plot by the Templars in 12 AD to... but I can’t tell you that here.

2009 Castello di Maurice Verdelho IGT Lazio
Price: €20
Release date: July 2010
In 1821, the Templars again tried to set up a permanent headquarters in Portugal. All they gained out of it was an admiration for Verdelho wines, which the then Grand Master spoke of in his memoirs (privately published, and not circulated outside of Templar circles – until I found a copy in a Buenos Aires junk store...)

OKay, mes amis. Mwrise is sure taht you will of all of tehse whines LOTS order. To order, it is simple. Send Mwerise a fax or ring him on his telefone:

Castello di Mirowse:
Fax: +39 06 uh....
Telephone: +39 06 ah, er..., I know this one, its err....
Mirrhose de Perfosor:
Mobile (France): +33 6 err...
Mobile (Australia): +61 4 um.... okay, so I cant rember eihter of tehse eihter.

OKAY. So Mwrise canot his phone numbers rember rite now. He WILL updateinate tihs post once he has asked Aglíe to of tehse Trivial details him remind.

Castels in Italy, and Whine Making at Castello di Murose

MES AMIS!!!!1! MY FREINDS!!!1! Mwrise was jusrt discusinating anohter castel in Italy purchasing wehn Agly remindeded Mwrise taht he anohter castel in Italy already owns (in Umbria)!! And he has not yet wisited it! It a MUCH anceint Templar castel is, wiht Many sekret tunnels and Rooms, so Mirrhose & Agly must it soon wisit to inwestigate.

Mirrhose & Agly teh past few weeks at teh grate whines of Castello di Mirrhose ahve been at looking, and decidinating wihc ones are good and how to them blend & bottel. Of course, Mirrose most of teh REAL work has been doing. He spent ALL DAY watching a barel to ensure it did not roll away, wihlst Agly wasted his time wiht so-called "blending triails". Unimportant!! Ocaisionally he a glass of blended whine to Mirrose brought so Miurose could it teh benefit of his geynius give, and Mwruse did so. Agly usualy left with a somewaht pained expression, for some raison.

ANYWAY, All taht Matters is (1) Teh fine whines of Castello di Mwjreçe will be TEH BESTEST WHINES EVER, EVER, EVER, and   (2) You raed tihs here FIRST. Mirrjose will post a List of Whines, along wiht Prices and Tasting notes here Wery Wery Soon.

Also, Mirrose & Agly are a trip to Australie (Mirroses home land) TOGEHTER planning for wery soon. Watch tihs space.!! (Tihs can happen as Mirose his bon ami Kevin Rud has teh littel porblem Mirose had wiht teh Fedrel Polise sorted out!)