Mjerise in BOREDEAUX pt 2.

Muerise wanted to tell you all abuot taht chic littel chateau taht he himself boughted in Paulliac.

1st teh "WITAL STATISTICS:"

• built in 1792
• 230 rooms
• 150 bed rooms
• 3 librarys
• grand dining room can seatinate 300
• kitchens ahve a range big enough to cook for 450
• 15 acres of formal grardens
• 20 acres of wineyard (POUR LE ROUGE (AOC PAUILLAIC), 18 acres -- 75 % Cabernet Sauvignon; 5 % Merlot; 5% Petit Verdot; 5% Cabernet Franc; POUR EL BLANC (AOC BOREDAUX) 2 acres -- 60 % Semillon; 30 % Suavignon; 10 % Muscadelle)
• a "chai' (Whinery) wiht lots of barels & destemmers & other stuff whitch Agley understands but Merise doesnt (it is too trivial for the attention of a geynius anywhey!@)

See .... ? It much magnifique is. Muerise will callinate it "Chateau Muarise de Paulliac.": And he knows it is good. He teh last few weeks has spent explorinating teh chateau, walking through teh many acres of formal gardenm, the many miles of corridors & esxquisite formal rooms in teh chateua, & teh many many cellars under teh chateau.

Merise hates to boast but it a bargain for €340,211,965.95 was!!!! Money well spent. Especially as Merise charged it to teh TEMPLARS!!!!!! Mais oui, Merise did not himslef pay for it. It is payed for by teh TEMPLARS. Tehy will be annoyed if tehy notice tihs 'anomaly' on tehir accounts.

Eh bien, Merise cares not. He an exciting thyme is having. All of the past few weeks, trucks ahve been arrivinating with antique furniture, old master paintings & antiquarian esoteric books for to furnish tihs unique hide-away so taht it fit for a geynius is. & Merise has seen it & seen taht it is good.

He has also taken some thyme to meet his neightbours in neighbouring chateaux but tehy are not geyniuses & unaccountably are mostly french. Mérise thoughted that most boredeaux chateau were owned by English, Belgian & Chinese merchants! Eh bien, it is not so.

Still, Merise now needs to appoint a gardener & a whinemaker. He wonders wherre he will find a whinemaker in Boredeaux. Cannot be many locally!!!!!

OH YES & Merise & Agley are still off battling templars. Aglie is starting to REALLY GET ON MERISES NERVES especialy teh way he keeps patting down his jacket to keep it all nice & perfect and wrinkle free, and teh way he keeps looking at his fob watch, and his rediculous littel agate ring but of cuorse Merise is a geynius & can take tehse littel provocations in his stride. Eh .... .... Merise ahs  forgotted teh point. OH YES, his chateau is chic. Taht is all.

PAULLIAC!!!1!

MES AMIS .... as yuo mighth ahve gatthered, Meriçe he is currently in Bordeaux, more spesificially in teh willage of Pauillaic just outside Boredeau. It a pretty willage is wiht much whineries near by . Actually Muarise liked it so mutch taht he decided to buyinate a chateau here but thats getting to far ahead & he will about taht talk later.

ANMYWAY teh point is taht Muarise is in Boredeau wiht his ... associate & sort of freind Aglie & they together huntinating Templars ahave been,. particularalry in teh whineries. INTERESTINGLY Meuarise & Agley ahve found many templar linked whineries eg. Chateau Gazin was founded by teh Knights of Saint-Jean of Jerusalem, Rhodes and Malta (A WELL KNOWN TEMPLAR FRONT). ALSO Chateâu lagrange has wery well known links wiht teh templars, & their's even a CHATÊAU TEMPLAR NEARBY. HOW OBWIOUS IS TAHT???????!!?! EH????

Perhaps it s too obvious ... a ruse ... a distractoin ....... or maybe theyre playing mindgames wiht Muise & are HIDING IN PLANE SITE just where Mourise wuolndt expectinate tehm to be. SO CONFUSING!

ALSO Muaerise is shure taht Aglèi is up to no good again. He stoled Mjerwes's Mobile Telyphone earlier & Maerise is shure he did someihting to it. May be he installed a listening dewice, or read through Merises text mesages (SMS) some of witch contain sesnsivite infromation about Morroses improtant research .... Mwrwse knows not yet BUT HE WILL FINDINATE OUT.

EH BIEN. Muarise was going to tell you about teh chateau he boughted but now he cant be bothered , he has to go check through his phone call recordes again to check Agleiy hasnt been tampering wiht his
  IPHONE again.

TEH SEKRIT PROTOTYPE   IPHONE 7S TAHT MERISE IS NOW USING 

WITCH HE WAS SENT BY HIS OLD AMI M. STEPHAN JOBS.

ITS WERY SEKRIT SO MERISE CANT EVEN TELL YOU OF ITS

EXISTENCE LET ALONE POST PICSTURES.

SO OF CUORSE MEREISE WONT THIS DO.

Guest post from MYCROFT.

Bonjour tout le monde! Mycroft here.

Yes, I know I've been neglecting posting here. Naughty Mycroft. Busy at work. Of course. Always. Especially now there's an election in a few months. Not that it should be my concern. Strictly apolitical  me. Absolutely. At least, that's what I tell people. Some of them even believe me.

Anyhow, that, as Maurice would say, is not the point. Maurice is off galavanting around in Bordeaux (or Boredeau as he insists on spelling it = Bored water?). I hear he's even bought himself another Château. I should be horrified. I should. But somehow I'll manage to make it my new holiday home. I need a break from Canberra. After the election .... !

I've decided to break my veil of secrecy a little and tell you something about my house. A modest place, of course, can't be seen to be wasting tax payer's money.

This picture shows exactly what my house doesn't look like.

Pity. Perhaps when I retire?

I have a house just outside Canberra. I was lucky enough to get one of the earlier buildings in the area. The house was built in 1713, is a modest two story country house. One of the highlights is the cellar, a multi-roomed, multi-floored affair which gives acres of room to store my fine wine collection in perfect conditions! Latour, Haut Brion, Mouton Rothschild, Yquem... yes, and Burgundy, especially DRC ... I have a fondness for Romanée-Conti, and for Grands-Echezeaux. Lots of different vintages, even a few precious bottles of 1811 Yquem.

Okay, okay, I'm pulling your leg. There's no houses in or near Canberra dating from 1713 ... No European settlement here till the 19th century. But I do have a cellar. And a few bottles of 1811 Yquem.

I work for the Government. It's important work. Very. So of course that's all I can say. Sorry, nothing to see here. Move along now please.

Ahem. It does allow me to travel a bit, though. Hence being able to build up such a good wine cellar. Hence my small collection of 18th century watercolour paintings. Hence my modest library, with books dating back to 1631. 

I'd move to Maurice's "Boredeau" château in a heartbeat though. And he'll just forget about it. Perhaps when I retire? He won't remember it then. Lucky if he remembers it a week after he's left for one of his other houses ...

Oh well. Enough. Phone's ringing. It's the Boss. Another government crisis, no doubt...

ADELAIDE!!!

MES AMIS ... Muariçe is still in Adelaide!!! He knows, it quite unusual is for him to stay in 1 plaice for so long ... he been here since early february has been .... most odd!

AND YET he has his thyme in Adelaïde mutch enjoyed. He enjoyinated wisiting teh WINERIES (teh ones taht arent evwil sekret TEMPLAR fronts taht is) & has enjoyed parading on Adelaídes wide & Sunny buolevards & sitting in teh many cafes engaged in stimulating intellectual discussion wiht agley & his nongeynius brohter mycroft

AND YET murise has finally got bored of Adelaide because he does not in one place like to be for sutch a long thyme. CUORSE all good things must to an end come & SO it is taht Moerose is decided to fly to Bordeaux wery, wery soon. To-morrow he will start Loadinating his hairyplane for teh flight, and tehn on teh 10th April (Whenever taht is, perhaps on 10/04/13? 11/04/13? 04/10/13?) he will to Boredeau flyinate wiht Aglié as his passenger (what a priveldge to be flowned by such a geynius pilot as MERISE!!!).

BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT ... teh point is tath Merise has much good thyme in Adelaied had & has many interesting tihngs about teh templars founded ... yets tahts right theyre wery active in Adëlaide  ........ no Merose cant more here say, not until hes safely out of Ädelaide & away from teihr evil machinations.

EH BIEN. It is so, Mes amis. Merise & Aglie must bid fond farewell to Adelaide, and Merise will shut up his charming littel AdelaidheHills hosue until sutch thyme as he back here is .... witch wont be long ,, mes amis, fear you not,,, definately later in teh year ,,,, Maybe  Augugst, DEcembre at teh latest, maybe!

AGLEY IN ADELAIDE.

IT SEEMS taht wererever your hero (Mwerise) finds himslef, he will quickly bump into his associate/colleague/ex-freind Aglie. Even in his new hosue in Adelaïde, Australie. Except of cuorse tihs isnt an accident/Co-incidence, it wery meticulously planninated was.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Aglíe is over here to help Muerise search for Templars in Adelaide. As Muerise has discussinated prewiously, on a prewious short wisit to Adelaide he found much ewidence of Templars in Adelaide, but was arrestinated before he cuold a PROPER inwestigation make. Well, taht will NOT happen again. NO SIR.

Agley has helped Muerise to infiltrate teh MASONS SEKRIT HEAD-QUARTERS which teh have sekretly located on a large building on North Terrace in teh CBD which secretly has their name secreitly written over it in wery big writing. Murise has joined him (in cunning disguise of cuorse) to liszten in to tehir cunnuing plans to steal teh sangreal ( its currently in teh SA MUSEUM ) , and how tehy can seize control of teh country ( NEVER FEAR MOERISE WONT LET TEHM ). Tehy have some particularly feindish plans inwolving sekrit messages written on watercrackers taht Mjuarice wishes he cuold tell you more about BUT HE CANT.

Eh bien. Muerise has forgotten teh point. AH YES, TEH POINT IS TAHT MURISE IS MARVELOUS & IS ACTIVELY SAVING TEH WORLD FROM TEH TEMPLARS. Yes, taht was it. YES.

IN WICH a certain non-geynius brohter of the author wisits Adelaide

Mes amis... Maurise is wery pleased to report taht his brohter Mycroft is wisiting Moerise in Adelaïde for teh LONG WEEK END. Peeple who follow Muerise on twiter may raelise taht Mjerise was tihnking of drivinating to Sidney for teh long week end but those plans all changed when, amaxingly, wondefully, his brohter who Muairoçe hasnt seen for so long turned up un anounced at Merises door!

Stupid nongeynius brohter. He shuold have ranged first.,

Eh bien,, taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Morose is much pleased to see his brohter, who he lieks wery much even though his brother is often annoying & definately teh intelectual inferior to Muiarése -- but tehn it has to be rembered that Moerise is teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever, so Mairise must conceed that probabbly Mycroft cant help taht.

Eh bien, Once Morise has clicked PUBLISHINATE on tihs wobleg post he & his brohter will go to a restorant for lunch. Maybe somewhere taht has BYO WINE so taht Merise can take tihs bottel of CH. LATOUR 1982 he has here. Or maybe he can just go to a good restorant and trust teh STUPID NONGEYNIUS WHINE LIST taht they have. Hm...

Eh bien, Mierose shuold also say taht he has finally got rided of taht stupid HONDA D'ACCORD he was borrowinating & finally got himslef a car befiting his GEYNIUS .... its a JAGULAR XF  & it mutch good is mes amis

MORE SOON MUST RUSH & HAVE LUNCH NOW MES AMIS !!!?@?!1!!#$!!

POST FROM ADELAÏDE

MES AMIS ... as people who follow Muerise on TWITTER will know, Muairise is currantly back in his homeland, Australie ... but NOT in his home town of Amridale, NSW, or in Sidney, NSW ... but in Adelaïde, Sud-Australie.

Tahts right mes amis, Merise has boughted a block of land in teh Adelaïde Hills on witch he plans to plant a wineyard . Rember, you read taht here FIRST. Er, no, actually, you raed it on TWITTER first. BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Teh point is taht Mworice has boughted a beautiful porperty near Lenswood taht has a beautiful old cottage and 15 acres of land, and wiht it he mutch pleased is. He employed a gardener has to manage his extensive new garden taht he will there createinate, and a wineyard manager to plant 10 acres of wineyard ... to pinot noir, chardonnay, sangiovese and syrah.

This sale, it took some days to do and mutch paperwork was inwolved withc of course is bellow teh level of a geynius sutch as Mérwce but alas he still ahs to it do. ANNOYINGLY, teh wendor actually insisted taht Merose paid for teh porperty. He can understand why a NORMAL NONGEYNIUS would ahve to pay ... but Moroçe! teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever! He wuold have thought teh vendor wuold have been so flattered dat he wouldnt ask for sometihng as trivial as muny!!?!?!11!!!@1!

Eh bien., Merise has enjoyed being in Adelaide. Teh fringe festiwal is on, though unacountably tehy forgot to inwite Mouroce to lead teh parade at teh opening ceremony. Obwiously a beaurocratic MIX-UP. Merise will ahve to them ring & complane. ALSO their sportycar raceycar carraces are on (VEIGHT) and tehy forgot to inwite Muarise to join in .... even though he a geynius dirver is ....,,., and can at 1,693.333mph drivinate!  But maybe tehy knew he wuold win EVERYTIHNG and worreid this would make their other dirvers look bad.

Muerises favurite trick is to drive at 10mph for teh first bit of teh race so every-one tihnks he will lose ... then speed up to 1,742.3333mph and WIN at teh last second!

Eh bien. He still enjoying ADELAIDE is despite tehse porblems. And he has a LOT of useful infromation about teh Templars from his trip to Germany wiht Agley ...................................................... but he cant say more about taht here. TOO SEKRIT., Only okay to discuss in private wiht fellow experts,, or in his next best-selling book..