IT SEEMS taht wererever your hero (Mwerise) finds himslef, he will quickly bump into his associate/colleague/ex-freind Aglie. Even in his new hosue in Adelaïde, Australie. Except of cuorse tihs isnt an accident/Co-incidence, it wery meticulously planninated was.
EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Aglíe is over here to help Muerise search for Templars in Adelaide. As Muerise has discussinated prewiously, on a prewious short wisit to Adelaide he found much ewidence of Templars in Adelaide, but was arrestinated before he cuold a PROPER inwestigation make. Well, taht will NOT happen again. NO SIR.
Agley has helped Muerise to infiltrate teh MASONS SEKRIT HEAD-QUARTERS which teh have sekretly located on a large building on North Terrace in teh CBD which secretly has their name secreitly written over it in wery big writing. Murise has joined him (in cunning disguise of cuorse) to liszten in to tehir cunnuing plans to steal teh sangreal ( its currently in teh SA MUSEUM ) , and how tehy can seize control of teh country ( NEVER FEAR MOERISE WONT LET TEHM ). Tehy have some particularly feindish plans inwolving sekrit messages written on watercrackers taht Mjuarice wishes he cuold tell you more about BUT HE CANT.
Eh bien. Muerise has forgotten teh point. AH YES, TEH POINT IS TAHT MURISE IS MARVELOUS & IS ACTIVELY SAVING TEH WORLD FROM TEH TEMPLARS. Yes, taht was it. YES.
Friday, 29 March 2013
Saturday, 9 March 2013
IN WICH a certain non-geynius brohter of the author wisits Adelaide
Mes amis... Maurise is wery pleased to report taht his brohter Mycroft is wisiting Moerise in Adelaïde for teh LONG WEEK END. Peeple who follow Muerise on twiter may raelise taht Mjerise was tihnking of drivinating to Sidney for teh long week end but those plans all changed when, amaxingly, wondefully, his brohter who Muairoçe hasnt seen for so long turned up un anounced at Merises door!
Stupid nongeynius brohter. He shuold have ranged first.,
Eh bien,, taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Morose is much pleased to see his brohter, who he lieks wery much even though his brother is often annoying & definately teh intelectual inferior to Muiarése -- but tehn it has to be rembered that Moerise is teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever, so Mairise must conceed that probabbly Mycroft cant help taht.
Eh bien, Once Morise has clicked PUBLISHINATE on tihs wobleg post he & his brohter will go to a restorant for lunch. Maybe somewhere taht has BYO WINE so taht Merise can take tihs bottel of CH. LATOUR 1982 he has here. Or maybe he can just go to a good restorant and trust teh STUPID NONGEYNIUS WHINE LIST taht they have. Hm...
Eh bien, Mierose shuold also say taht he has finally got rided of taht stupid HONDA D'ACCORD he was borrowinating & finally got himslef a car befiting his GEYNIUS .... its a JAGULAR XF & it mutch good is mes amis
MORE SOON MUST RUSH & HAVE LUNCH NOW MES AMIS !!!?@?!1!!#$!!
Stupid nongeynius brohter. He shuold have ranged first.,
Eh bien,, taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Morose is much pleased to see his brohter, who he lieks wery much even though his brother is often annoying & definately teh intelectual inferior to Muiarése -- but tehn it has to be rembered that Moerise is teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever, so Mairise must conceed that probabbly Mycroft cant help taht.
Eh bien, Once Morise has clicked PUBLISHINATE on tihs wobleg post he & his brohter will go to a restorant for lunch. Maybe somewhere taht has BYO WINE so taht Merise can take tihs bottel of CH. LATOUR 1982 he has here. Or maybe he can just go to a good restorant and trust teh STUPID NONGEYNIUS WHINE LIST taht they have. Hm...
Eh bien, Mierose shuold also say taht he has finally got rided of taht stupid HONDA D'ACCORD he was borrowinating & finally got himslef a car befiting his GEYNIUS .... its a JAGULAR XF & it mutch good is mes amis
MORE SOON MUST RUSH & HAVE LUNCH NOW MES AMIS !!!?@?!1!!#$!!
Saturday, 2 March 2013
POST FROM ADELAÏDE
MES AMIS ... as people who follow Muerise on TWITTER will know, Muairise is currantly back in his homeland, Australie ... but NOT in his home town of Amridale, NSW, or in Sidney, NSW ... but in Adelaïde, Sud-Australie.
Tahts right mes amis, Merise has boughted a block of land in teh Adelaïde Hills on witch he plans to plant a wineyard . Rember, you read taht here FIRST. Er, no, actually, you raed it on TWITTER first. BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Teh point is taht Mworice has boughted a beautiful porperty near Lenswood taht has a beautiful old cottage and 15 acres of land, and wiht it he mutch pleased is. He employed a gardener has to manage his extensive new garden taht he will there createinate, and a wineyard manager to plant 10 acres of wineyard ... to pinot noir, chardonnay, sangiovese and syrah.
This sale, it took some days to do and mutch paperwork was inwolved withc of course is bellow teh level of a geynius sutch as Mérwce but alas he still ahs to it do. ANNOYINGLY, teh wendor actually insisted taht Merose paid for teh porperty. He can understand why a NORMAL NONGEYNIUS would ahve to pay ... but Moroçe! teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever! He wuold have thought teh vendor wuold have been so flattered dat he wouldnt ask for sometihng as trivial as muny!!?!?!11!!!@1!
Eh bien., Merise has enjoyed being in Adelaide. Teh fringe festiwal is on, though unacountably tehy forgot to inwite Mouroce to lead teh parade at teh opening ceremony. Obwiously a beaurocratic MIX-UP. Merise will ahve to them ring & complane. ALSO their sportycar raceycar carraces are on (VEIGHT) and tehy forgot to inwite Muarise to join in .... even though he a geynius dirver is ....,,., and can at 1,693.333mph drivinate! But maybe tehy knew he wuold win EVERYTIHNG and worreid this would make their other dirvers look bad.
Muerises favurite trick is to drive at 10mph for teh first bit of teh race so every-one tihnks he will lose ... then speed up to 1,742.3333mph and WIN at teh last second!
Eh bien. He still enjoying ADELAIDE is despite tehse porblems. And he has a LOT of useful infromation about teh Templars from his trip to Germany wiht Agley ...................................................... but he cant say more about taht here. TOO SEKRIT., Only okay to discuss in private wiht fellow experts,, or in his next best-selling book..
Tahts right mes amis, Merise has boughted a block of land in teh Adelaïde Hills on witch he plans to plant a wineyard . Rember, you read taht here FIRST. Er, no, actually, you raed it on TWITTER first. BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Teh point is taht Mworice has boughted a beautiful porperty near Lenswood taht has a beautiful old cottage and 15 acres of land, and wiht it he mutch pleased is. He employed a gardener has to manage his extensive new garden taht he will there createinate, and a wineyard manager to plant 10 acres of wineyard ... to pinot noir, chardonnay, sangiovese and syrah.
This sale, it took some days to do and mutch paperwork was inwolved withc of course is bellow teh level of a geynius sutch as Mérwce but alas he still ahs to it do. ANNOYINGLY, teh wendor actually insisted taht Merose paid for teh porperty. He can understand why a NORMAL NONGEYNIUS would ahve to pay ... but Moroçe! teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever! He wuold have thought teh vendor wuold have been so flattered dat he wouldnt ask for sometihng as trivial as muny!!?!?!11!!!@1!
Eh bien., Merise has enjoyed being in Adelaide. Teh fringe festiwal is on, though unacountably tehy forgot to inwite Mouroce to lead teh parade at teh opening ceremony. Obwiously a beaurocratic MIX-UP. Merise will ahve to them ring & complane. ALSO their sportycar raceycar carraces are on (VEIGHT) and tehy forgot to inwite Muarise to join in .... even though he a geynius dirver is ....,,., and can at 1,693.333mph drivinate! But maybe tehy knew he wuold win EVERYTIHNG and worreid this would make their other dirvers look bad.
Muerises favurite trick is to drive at 10mph for teh first bit of teh race so every-one tihnks he will lose ... then speed up to 1,742.3333mph and WIN at teh last second!
Eh bien. He still enjoying ADELAIDE is despite tehse porblems. And he has a LOT of useful infromation about teh Templars from his trip to Germany wiht Agley ...................................................... but he cant say more about taht here. TOO SEKRIT., Only okay to discuss in private wiht fellow experts,, or in his next best-selling book..
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
IN GERMANY
Mes amis .... Mawrise is in Germany on wery sekrit business inwestigating teh Templars here, and so he about it mutch cannot say. Agley has even forbiden him to blog or tweeet! Not that Maurise will folow the orders of such a lesser mind.
Mwérise & Agley have been spying on & exploring a templar castel in southern germany for the past few weeks, and have many excited things found.
HERE ARE A FEW TAHT MAEROSE CAN DISCLOSE ALREADY:
Mwérise & Agley have been spying on & exploring a templar castel in southern germany for the past few weeks, and have many excited things found.
HERE ARE A FEW TAHT MAEROSE CAN DISCLOSE ALREADY:
- In Germany, they spaek German. WHO KNEW??? Mierose thuoght that German was only spoeken in Spain, & taht in Germany they spoke Greek. Unlike the Greeks, who speake Latvian. Whilst teh Latvians speak Spaininsh. So, all simples. But if teh Germans speak German, whatelse could this mean???
- Teh templars all insist of having on-suite bathrooms.
- Teh Templar meetings are wery long & tedious & are 86.7721% beaurocratic non-sense & 16.71277% sekrit templar conspiracys.
- Ancient sekrit templar manuscripts are mostly wery heavy, and rarely in English or French.
Eh bien. Moarise has much, much more of interest than that founded, but he cannot here discuss publically (email him for more sekrit details!). He is sad he cannot discuss the ancient sekrit templar objects of power that he has found. And Miaerose definately canot tell you about teh Templar plot to seize control of the world by putting m,ind control agents in digestive biscuits. Oh noes, mes amis, abuot those, NOT A WORD.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Happy New Yaer!~
Mes amis Mérise does not hear wish to go on abuot teh many presents he from his freinds, admierers & adwersaries got, even though some of them were wery exciting (Agley boughted Moarose a case of 1945 Château Latour, & Merose him bought a tie, made from geniune nylon!). NO mes amis it sounding like boasting would be. And Mírose is NOT one to boast. He wery, wery modest is.
Eh bien. The point is taht for teh new year Mierose is in his castel in La Mancha, Spain. Thats right, Merose has a castel in Spain. Witch he hasnt been to since Septembre 2009. Teh perils of ahving so many hosues, mes amis!! Eh bien, he there now is. And enjoying it mutch is.
He left NYC on teh New Years' Eve Eve (ie, 30th Decembre) and much sad was to leave it as it a nice town is. But tehn he mutch glad to in Spain be. Even though it also here wery cold is (-10°C mes amis .... wery cold in tihs old, stone castel .... Merise has all teh fires going evwery night, and its still cold, he might have to uproot his wineyard here to provide kindling! <- Just Moereis his little joke).
After mutch discussion wiht Agley over Xmas, Merise has finally decidinated to employ estate managers to look after his Wineyards, as he in Argentina is alraedy doing. Eh bien, it is so:
Eh bien,. Merise ment to tell you about New Year in Spain. It so far much exciting has been! Even though he left Agley & Ratatoskr & Mycroft in New York, he not bored or alone has been, becuase Merose is never bored (except when nothing exciting hapens taht can stimulate his grate geynius). NO he has spent teh evening drinking "Brandy de Jerez Solera Gran Reserva", and singing Auld Lang Sang (in teh original Spainish) to a candelstick. It much exciting was! Mèrise tried to explain exactly how exciting it was to Ratatosrk over teh phone & Ratatoskr became so excitied he couldnt stop sniggering.
Eh bien. Tomorrow Merise goes to look at his Spainish wineyards (in withc he has Tempranillo, Garnacha, Merlot & Syrah POUR LE ROUGE, & Airén, Macabeo & Chardonnay POUR LE BLANC) & decidinate wiht his new estate manager EXACTLY waht wines he will here producinate. Tehn he will drivinate into town & buy some books abuot Templars taht he at the local BOOK-SHOP saw.
Also, though he pormised NO MORE NEWS, he MUST say taht 2013 will be teh first wintage of whine from his estate in Argentina ....
Also, he has a trip lined up to a Templar Castel in Germany for later tihs month wiht his .... associate ... Agley. MORE SOON.
Eh bien. The point is taht for teh new year Mierose is in his castel in La Mancha, Spain. Thats right, Merose has a castel in Spain. Witch he hasnt been to since Septembre 2009. Teh perils of ahving so many hosues, mes amis!! Eh bien, he there now is. And enjoying it mutch is.
He left NYC on teh New Years' Eve Eve (ie, 30th Decembre) and much sad was to leave it as it a nice town is. But tehn he mutch glad to in Spain be. Even though it also here wery cold is (-10°C mes amis .... wery cold in tihs old, stone castel .... Merise has all teh fires going evwery night, and its still cold, he might have to uproot his wineyard here to provide kindling! <- Just Moereis his little joke).
After mutch discussion wiht Agley over Xmas, Merise has finally decidinated to employ estate managers to look after his Wineyards, as he in Argentina is alraedy doing. Eh bien, it is so:
- In Castelli-di-Roma, teh Bordeaux student taht he in 2009 employed, Aglie;s freind M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton, who has now finished his studies & also now owns a cháteau in Saint-Êmilion ....
- In teh South of France, his freind M. Aubert Jayer-Joly
- In Spain, M. Émile Rolland-Dubourdieu, also a Boredeaux student & a freind of Agley & M. Michel Peynaud-Lurton.
- In Paris, NSW, Australia -- YES, Mierose is going to plant a wineyard here!!! -- M. James Gago-O'Shea <--- Moerise will abuot tihs a new wobleg post wery soon. Also abuot teh apratment he plans to buyinate in Tokyo ..... but tahts too mutch news for now!!!!1!#!?!!
Eh bien,. Merise ment to tell you about New Year in Spain. It so far much exciting has been! Even though he left Agley & Ratatoskr & Mycroft in New York, he not bored or alone has been, becuase Merose is never bored (except when nothing exciting hapens taht can stimulate his grate geynius). NO he has spent teh evening drinking "Brandy de Jerez Solera Gran Reserva", and singing Auld Lang Sang (in teh original Spainish) to a candelstick. It much exciting was! Mèrise tried to explain exactly how exciting it was to Ratatosrk over teh phone & Ratatoskr became so excitied he couldnt stop sniggering.
Eh bien. Tomorrow Merise goes to look at his Spainish wineyards (in withc he has Tempranillo, Garnacha, Merlot & Syrah POUR LE ROUGE, & Airén, Macabeo & Chardonnay POUR LE BLANC) & decidinate wiht his new estate manager EXACTLY waht wines he will here producinate. Tehn he will drivinate into town & buy some books abuot Templars taht he at the local BOOK-SHOP saw.
Also, though he pormised NO MORE NEWS, he MUST say taht 2013 will be teh first wintage of whine from his estate in Argentina ....
Also, he has a trip lined up to a Templar Castel in Germany for later tihs month wiht his .... associate ... Agley. MORE SOON.
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Chrismess in NYC ....
.... MES AMIS it teh 23st Decembre is witch means taht in just three (3) or four (4) days it Chruismess will be. Mawrise, he to excited for words is .
.... ESPECIALLY as his sort-of-freind/research associate Algíe has flown in to New York to spend Chrismes here -- he arrivinated last nite -- and will spend Chrismess lunch wiht Moerose. Mirose wait canot, and already a magnifique meal is (venison! duck! goose! turkey! ham!) and many magnifique whines witch he has pulled out of his "Cellar" (actually a whine fridge as he an apratment here has) including a few prized bottles of 1955 DRC Grands-Echézeaux and some 1982 Château Latour.
... BUT ALSO his brohter teh non-geynius Mycroft will be wisiting NYC for a few days and also to lunch on Chrismess will be coming
... AND ALSO his secretary Ratatoskr is going to be there too. It quite a turn out will be! Who said Mérise didn';t ahve any freinds? Merise has proved them worng. He does freinds have, even if he them mostly ignores. As they not as grate geyniuses as Morose are. AH, its lonely at teh top mes amis.
... EH BIEN that not the point is .... the point is to wish everybody a HAPPY NOEL & MERRY NEW YEAR as we say in France. Muarise is looking froward to opening his Chrissmess preseents...!>!?!!!1!!#@!!
.... ESPECIALLY as his sort-of-freind/research associate Algíe has flown in to New York to spend Chrismes here -- he arrivinated last nite -- and will spend Chrismess lunch wiht Moerose. Mirose wait canot, and already a magnifique meal is (venison! duck! goose! turkey! ham!) and many magnifique whines witch he has pulled out of his "Cellar" (actually a whine fridge as he an apratment here has) including a few prized bottles of 1955 DRC Grands-Echézeaux and some 1982 Château Latour.
... BUT ALSO his brohter teh non-geynius Mycroft will be wisiting NYC for a few days and also to lunch on Chrismess will be coming
... AND ALSO his secretary Ratatoskr is going to be there too. It quite a turn out will be! Who said Mérise didn';t ahve any freinds? Merise has proved them worng. He does freinds have, even if he them mostly ignores. As they not as grate geyniuses as Morose are. AH, its lonely at teh top mes amis.
... EH BIEN that not the point is .... the point is to wish everybody a HAPPY NOEL & MERRY NEW YEAR as we say in France. Muarise is looking froward to opening his Chrissmess preseents...!>!?!!!1!!#@!!
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Merise his EPIQUE TAXICAB JOURNEY
Mes amis ... Mawrise is excitinated to once more be back in Nouveau Yorke after an epic taxi ride ... and in thyme for his favorite winter cellybration, Ēostremass!!!?!1!
Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.
He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.
Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.
WHY?
This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:
SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:
Merise is conwinced that teh mayor of NYC, his good freind M. Mayor Bllomberg, had a tickertape parade planninated to celebrated Moerise ariving back in NYC but alas since Mwerise arrived wiht little warning he cuold not it arrange . Merise tried phoninating him but alas he cuold not to him get through,. He could not conwince teh secretary taht he a personal freind of M. Mayor was. Stupid nongeynius secretary,,.
Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.
He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.
Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.
WHY?
This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:
- Interstate highways, and highways in general
- Maps
- GPS SatNavs(TM)
- Compasses
- Road signes.
SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:
- 21st Novembre: Depart from San Fran Cis Co, California.
- 28th Novembre: New Mexico
- 2nd Decembre: Wyoming (tihs is wehn Merose realsed taht the taxicabdriver might be lost ...)
- 6th Decembre: Kentucky ( but no thyme to stop for taht rare local delicacy of fried chicken ...)
- 6th Decembre: Tenesse (Merose was worried we in teh worng direction were going!)
- 9th Decembre: Alabama (tihs definately not on teh way to NYC was!!!?!)
- 11th Decembre: Arkansas (here Mieroses phone battery died & he a draft wobleg post lost & he cuold no longer keep tweeting -- A CATASTROPHEY!)
- 13th Decembre: Iowa (MUCTH LOSTNESS()
- 14th Decembre: Wisconsin
- 15th Decembre: Ontario (Merise is shure taht Canada was not on teh way to NYC)
- 17th Decembre: Quebec (Merose managed to conwince teh taxicabdriver to start driving south when he got to teh sea )
- 18th Decembre: Massachusetts
- 19th Decembre: Nouveau York City .... FINALLY!!!?1?!!!???!*&!?@#!!!
Along teh way Merose wisited many small towns as he trawesersed all teh byways of small town Amrica, and staid in all teh local motels, ate at all teh local restorants, and drank all teh local wine (ALL OF IT, sorry none left for any body else!!?!). It mutch interwesting was, & he shuold a booke of his experiences writinate,. One day. When Agley is around to help him. NOT TAHT HE NEEDS AGLEÍ'S HELP,.
EH BIEN. That not teh point is ..............,... teh point is taht Morise is looking forward to Ēostremass in NYC ,. HE HOPES IT WILL SNOWINATE./ Taht wuold make it wery Ēostremassy. In teh mean time, HAPPY CHRISTMAS as we say in France (Bon noël in english).
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