Thursday, 17 December 2009

Whinemaking and a Talk in Rhôme

Mes amis, Mwerüse has a brake from teh Templars been taking. He Other Things has been doing.

FIrst, he & his bon ami Aglÿ have been making whine at Castello di Meruse. Mòrrjuse cannot you yet tell what whines he is making, though they much exciting are. HE not ALL teh whines he was planning to make is, as he forgott about teh harvest and teh grapes much too late pickinated.

As usual, Mueriùse most of teh work wiht teh whine making has been doing. HE the improtant part has. He has been sitting around in this corner teh whole time, watching this oak barrel to see that it escape does not. Meanwhile, Ugliè and a student whine maker from Bordeaux have been doing all teh small, inconsequential stuff like "pressing" grapes, moving barrels around and much else of such triviality that they do Not atract teh atttention of a geynius such as Mwrrise.

But Merhiüçe a break from this teh other day took, and to Rhôme went to give a talk on Neolithic TV production. THis talk, it a triumphe was, wiht 300 people attending. Mwîrryse much worried was when he some Templars in teh Back row spotted, but tehy wery polite & attentive were. Tehy even some interwesting questions at teh end asked, so maybe they, they also scholars of prehistoric TV and Radio production were. Also, they did not try to teh talk disrupt or Mürjise take hostage, which good was.

But now, mes amis, teh big task for Mqrûße today is to continue to watch this oak barrel, as instructed by Aglìe. Also, waht to have for dinner tonight?!?!?

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Finally landededed in Austr...,er, in Italy!!!!!

MES AMIS!!! Despite many mis haps, and teh interference of teh Templars (who seem to be in control of teh Australialn polis enough to meke them arrest Mìruse, univesally acknowledged as teh gratest to ever live ever), Muiruise has back to his hosue & home in Italia it madde.

Mes amis, Murùse his trip back was made much quicker tahn normal thanks to a devise called a "GPS", which Mwrrwse guided back to Italia. TRUE, he fell aslepp at one point and overshot the destination, but that a minor porblem was. Maybe one of these for his car he needs!!!

Agluie & Mhyruçe have spent teh day going through teh material found on bored teh HAIRYPLANE Mjërîse borrowed from teh Templars, and much useful infromation found. No wonder teh Templars were so annoyed about Mweruse borowing teihr hairyplane. In any case, it looks good parked next to teh runway of teh Castello di Murjíse private runway, & Mujuröse it thinks he will keep.

NOW, no time for more WOBLEGGING. Mqrqçe & Aglie must run, RUN to teh vine yards & see what (if anytihng) of this years harvest they can save and make in to teh fine whines of Castello di Mwrise. Wish us luck, mes amis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, 4 December 2009

Teh hairyplane... it a TEMPLAR hairyplane is... oh noes!!

Despite teh porblems wiht teh planes autopilot, Mjërüse is enjoyign his flight back to Italia. That's right, mes amis, Merèse changed route has & to Italia is goingk, not France. This is because once again he rembered that he had to meet old old ami Aglie to discuss saving whatever we can of teh grape harvest, and make teh bestest wines that we can for Castello di Mereiuse.

ALso, Merè∫e has made some discoveries about teh plane he "borrowed". Teh GOOD discovery is that this plane, it has a GPS Unit!! Wiht MAPS!!! SO now he can his way much easily find.

Teh BAD news is that this hairyplane, it belongs to Templar Airways!! Tahts right mes amis, this hairyplane, it owned by teh TEMPLARS is!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh noes!!! This it wery much bad news is -- teh TEMPLARS might be tracking Merìuse!!!

On the other hand, mes amis, it much good to borrow a plane from teh Templars to escape from teh Templars, no? ALso, they much ... interesting material have in teh hold of teh plane, including several BOXES of books and papers, Templar regalia, boxes of Templar gold & jewelery, and a few Templar computer systems which Mweurjyse with Agly will examine WERY, WERY carefully. Merîuse will keep you up to date wiht ALL teh news about teh secret Templar plots about which he out finds out.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Greetings from sunny HAIRYPLANE!!!

Mes amis, Mweruise is once again flying a hairyplane. But this time, it not a 747 is. It a Piper PA-31T is. But let me explain, mes amis.........

Mweruse finally managed to get back to his hosue & Home in Paris, NSW, Australia. He there much work on teh garden had been doing, and was also planning his return to Italia so he could work on teh grape harvest wiht Aglie. But then, teh Federal Police, acting on teh instructions of teh Templars managed to Mjerwuse track down. Once again there was some rubbish about stealing a truck and escaping custardy -- all lies!!!!!!!!. Luckily Merèse able to escapeinate was, by locking teh front door and running out teh back door whilst teh polis, tehy were teh front door tryign to break down.

Thinking quickly (well Mérèçe a geynius is), he was able to teh hairport get, where he a Piper PA-31T could borrowinate. He was not able to teh owner of teh plane ask, but Mwewrwise is CERTAIn he/she would not mind. It am emergency was, and Mereuse a grate geynius is..

This annoyed teh Templars no end, all they could do was stand on teh run way and their fists shake. Horray! Le genius (Mjerîse) escaped again!!!1!

Of course, the escape it not wihtout problems was. Despite looking all through Mërjüise his bag, this teh only map he could find was:

There a few porblems wiht this mappe are, such as teh fact that it Australialialilaulai;la does not seem to show, but Merûse thinks he will his way back to Paris, France wiht it be able to find.

At teh moment, he has teh hairyplane in "auto--pillot" mode put (not that ANY comptutor could FULLY replaace teh geynius of Merweçe as a pilot), so now Mwereiuse he time to check his email has & could now wobleg posts write (such as this one!!!1!!). More soon, mes amis, as Merîuse continues his amaazing plane flight....

Thursday, 26 November 2009

The whines of Castello di Mjurhyse -- oh noes!!!

Oh noes!!! Myerüise his telefone just was ringing, and THIS time he decided that it, it he would answer. And it was his bon ami Aglÿ! He much plesaed to him from him hear, and wanted all teh news of his Templar inwestiginations in Europe about hear. But alas, Aglie had a reminder for Myrÿrse that not good was. He asked how teh harvest & whinemaking at Castelo di Mèrése was along getting. This was a shock to Meruyse, he had about this FORGOTTEN COMPLETELY!!!

Ugliè is much worried that teh grapes, tehy will have already rotted on teh vines, and no good be. But Mierwose, he is hoping that maybe some will be O.Kay for a special late harverst dessert whine.

Well, mes amis, Mjÿrïse he will to Italy wonce more next week be going back, & seeing if he can rescue some of teh grpe harvest *& some good whine make. Wish Meruseise luck!!!! not that it he will need, he a geynius is, and for a geynius anything is posible.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Enjoying wonce more being in Paris, NSW, Australialaiaialailialia

Mes amsis, meriuse is once agian in his hoseu & home in Paris, Australia. And he much busy in teh garden has been, it wery messy was because even though he payed for a gardener to much work there do, this gardener did not teh weeding do AT ALL!!! Who could be as stupid as to forget to do key work in teh garden such as weeding or picking fuits?!?! Also, Muiwjruse seems to about 50 missed calls from his bon ami Aglie have, he wonders what he Mjeruse is trying to call about.

But also there bad news has been. Last night, Mherwse went to his whine cellar here to a bottle of 1974 Romanée Conti himslef for dinner to get, but found all his wine has been taken, and replaced with
Mjeroise, he much dejected was and had to have TWO (2) bottels of 1965 Clos des Templiers just to make up for his disapointment. He wonders what could have happened.

Eh bien, tomorrow Mherouse is going for a dirve in his ToYota hilux. Maybe he will look for a vine yard to buy in this region, to expand teh empire of Castello di Mjeruse!!

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Arrivinated in Sudney, still on route to Paris, Australiaa

Well mes amis, your correspondent most bold has finally in Sudney arrivinated, after a most eventful journey!!

As in Maelbourne, he was up by teh polis pulled up shortly after here getting, and again they mentioned some rubbish about custardy but when Mjuerose it offered to discuss over dinner at a fine french restuarant, they most raisonable were. SO, now, after a dinner most fine Mjwerose apparently he has nothing to worry about.

Which a relief is. The journey , it much eventful was!! Those who Mjerose on Twitter follow, will know that he ran across some kanjaroos wiht 3 inch long blood dripping venomous fangs that wanted to Mjerhyse eat wery much. Luckily, Meruçe his HSV Mallo wery fast is and he able to away get was. When he found teh Perth highway, he much glad was and a bottle of 1979 Chateaû Lafite opened and swigged it from teh bottle whilst dirving along as a little treat!!

Mewrüse has since herd from his good freind, teh eminant zoo-o-oligst Mr. George Bentham that these kangarros, they were teh rare species Macropus venenum, or Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo. Aparently there are few reported citings of them NOT beacuese tehy are rare and people do not them see often, BUT because most people that them sight are EATINATED by teh kangarrhos! Meurise to escape lucky was.

Eh bien, Miúruîse much glad to in Sudney be. He will in his Sudnay apratment for a few days, and then to his hoseu & home in Paris Australiaaia will go to rest & relax.

More soon, mes amis!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Not again, mes amis.......

Well, mes amis, Mweruise he is now OUT of Melborne at high speed dirvinating, just to make this wobleg post stopping. Mes amis, it seems that the polis here also in teh control of teh Templars are!! Just as Miuerÿse was just starting to a few promising leads about teh templars get, he was by teh polis wonce again over pulled.

They said something about "escaping custody" and "arrest warrent" when they Mjueruse recognised, these must Templar things be!! Luckily Mueruse managed to get away. he pretended (again) that his dirving licence was in his car's glovebox, and when he back into his car got to "retreive it", he instead away at high speed drove. Phew! What a Lucky Escape for M. Murise!!

Well, mes amis, Mërhuse he is now heading for his old home Town of Paris, Australia. He is certain that THERE,, THERE the polis will not have by teh Templars have been infiltrated!

Monday, 26 October 2009

Finally arrivinated in Melborke

Mes amis, Mjewrhyse after such a long dirve he has FINALLY in Malborne arrivinated. mes amis, Mwrwçe he such a bad time in Adelaïde had, where Templars posing as Polis Men him tried to arrestinate!!! On fake, made up charges!!!1! But luckily, Miueruyse a geynius is, and so was away able to get.

Well, mes amis, Mwerwise is certain he much exciting things about teh Templar conspiracies will in Malbork find. Melbourne, it is a city of Templars! As it named after Malbork in Poland is, it MUST be. Fear not , mes amis , Mweruse will keep you postinated about his inciting discoveriesese!

Monday, 19 October 2009

Free! Escapinated!!!

Mes amis, Mwereuises audacious escape plan has to fruitiion come!! HE is FREE!!!

Well, mes amis, your correspondent most magnifique was sitting in his polis cell thinking about teh Templar plot that had brought him there mostly unjustly on flase charges (stealing a truck, dirving wihtout a lisesnse, speeding, assualitng a polis officer). These all rubbish were, and non-true!!! But such a grate geynius as Meruise would not the Templars let win! No, mon ami!! Mjerrouse just looked in his pockets, and found some string, some sugar, some tinfoil, some salt, and some ammonium phosphate fertiliserr (he plans to do some gardening when he gets back to Paris, Australia!!!). With tthese, he was able to make a small explosive devise, which he used to blow a hole in the wall. He was promptly then promptly able to promptly escape promptly.

Well, mes amis, Mwiioruse for a bit ran to away get. But this, it not suited for such a grate geynius is!! Miuwrüse would have liked to buy another Mack truck, but alas this, it not possible was. So as a second best, Meårhyse a Pickup Truck himself bought. To be precise, he a HSV Maloo himself bought. With this, he much pleased is.

The salesperson said to Meruise that "this car, it can to 271.444km/h acceleratinate, which much impressive is. Not that you'll be diriving that fast on teh road, eh?". ANd Mirrîse laughted and agreed that no, he would not be! But then when he drove out of teh car dealer shop at 140km/h, he thinks teh dealer would have got the impression that in fact Maerose WAS at 271.444km/h going to be dirvinating!!! But sadly, so far only to 270.00km/h have so far gottinated.

Mes amis, Mwerrose is now to MElbrone dirving. He must hit teh road again!!@!


MEs amis, bad news!!! Your bold corrrespondant, Mwrhyçe de Perfosswr, has arrestinated been by teh Polis in Adelaïde, South Australaialaialia!

But first, teh details. Mes amis, Merrhyse has much about a secret Templar cell in Adelaïde been out findinating. He even managed to infiltrate teh Masons head quaters, and there found out much that was wery interesting. But the polis here, they must be under teh control of teh feindish Templars!!! This afternoon, whilst Muarhywse was around Adeláïde drivinating, he was by teh Polis pulled up.

They claimed he was "speeding" becuase he was at 120km/hour drivinating, even though this much slow is. THEY claimed that Mwroyse should at 50k/hour driving been, but this, it rediculous is!!! Then they looked on their comptutor, and claimed that the truck that Merrôse dirving was was STOLEN! They it claimed it stolen from Sydney airport had been some weeks ago!!!1! Well, Mweriouse camly tried to explain that it his truck was, and that it at Sudney airport had been for him left instead of Mowerhyse his Lamborghini due to a Mix Up, but alas they would not Merewse beleive.

THEN, they asked to see Muiwrrhyse his "dirvers lisence". Still, Merwwyse remained wery calm. That polise man had no excuse for trying to punch Mwerrhyse back. He explained that he, as a geynius, did not NEED a dirvers liccense, but alas they him would not beleive but instead him arrestinated. At this point, I (Mwrwuyse) realised that this, it must a TEMPLAR plot be. The TEMPLARS will stop at NOTHING, NOTHING mes amis to STOP mjewruse form them exposing. STill, teh polis did not THAT annoyed have to get, Merruse only slightly punched and bit one of teh polis offisers, and only one (1) of the polise cars was beyond repair demaged!

But do not fear, my bon amis. Mwerewwrse a BOLD PLAN for escapinating has, and will blog more when he free wonce again is!!!1!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Morriçe in Adelaïde!

Mes amis, as you all might from my Twitter-based Tweet (or on Faceboook) Mhuwryse arrivinated in Adelaïde on teh 12th, and now several days here has spent.

But do not think that Murryse has just spent his time eating at teh art gallery cafe or drinking cofee on Melbroune straet -- he much inwestigating has been doing! Teh templars, they much active in Adelâïde are, & Mjewrhyse teh geynius will a full account of their plotting & planning will make.

Myruçe this wery difficult thought it would be , but it is not!! They do not hide them selves much here. There even a Masonic Lodge on North Terrace is!!! IN public view!! Incredible. Mirrhuse KNOWS That teh Templars must meet there, so he will try to it infiltrate.

More soon, mes amis.........

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Graetings form Perth

Well, mes amis, Mhwrÿse was just beginning to get used to this "Daylight Shavings" thing in Coober Pedy. Just, though it still not good is. Well, he now in Perth is. What a drive it so far has been! Merriçe, he did not rememember that teh dirve from Sindey to Melbourne, it so long was!!1! Still, Mÿrouwçe he sure is that he in Melbroune will wery soon now be.

Anyway, he enjoying his dirve much has been, and he has teh Truck been likinating. he thinks that this, maybe it he will keep!!! He thinks it a wery good way for a geynius like Mjeruuse to around get is.

Mes amis, teh ONE , little porblem Mwaruise has been havingk is to remember whether in Australialaial they on teh right or teh left hand side of teh road drivinate? A trivial detail for a geynius like Merese, but one which bothers him still. Still, for teh moment he alternating between teh two is. ONE of them, it right has to be!!

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Driving from Sudney to Melbrourne....

Mes amis, Mhwrujse he currently is from Sudney to Melbrone drivinating. And yes, he still a TRUCK is drivinating, as his Maserati it not at the airport waiting for him was. But Mÿrÿhse, he finds he is almost enjoying a truck drivinating! He is sitting up wery high, watching teh scenery flash past and listening to teh non-geyniuses chatter on teh CB Radio. Almost fun, mes amis, even for a geynius like Mwruise. For some raison, Mjerowse feels he should teh trukc stop & get out & buy a plaid shirt and a baseball cap. This, it much chic would be. But alas, their time is not!!! And berets, they Mur®üse suit better.

Alas, teh trafic here is wery, wery slow still Mjewrowse has managed to dirve at at least 170km/h for most of teh trip so far. At one point he thought he a porblem wiht teh truck had, when he started seeing blue flashing lights in teh rear vision mirror and heard a weird wirring noise. But what ever teh problem was, Mjerrouse knows not. It quickly disappeared after he spead up to 250km/h for a bit. SO whatever teh problem was, at least it temprorroary was and away just went.

Car woes

Well, mes amis, Mjerhowse has in Sudney arrivinated, and has just teh hairyport left. Mjerüse had to teh plane flyinate for much of teh way, and kept forgetting what buttons in teh cockpit did. But ewentually he rememememebered. AND he able to land teh plane much safely & smoothly was, and teh passengers they all Mjerose clapped.

TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.

But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:

Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.

WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!

Thursday, 1 October 2009

This is your capitain speaking....

Well, earlier Mhwrÿse he too soon spoke. He joked that maybe they would him teh plane ask to flyinate!! But then, both teh Pilot AND teh Co Pilot, they teh Bœuf bourguignon for lunch had, and now tehy BOTH food poisoning have. As does any body else who was not as wise as Mjerüse, who teh Bouillabaisse had.

Well, mes amis. No time for more blogging or twitterittering. Mheruse has a plane full of people to fly! Wish him luck!!! Not that he it needs, he anything can do as he a GEYNIUS is.

Flying Atterrissage Forcé

Well, this flight so far it much good has been & wery uneventful which good is.

Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.

Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.

Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!

Mejrÿße le geynius, blogging LIVE from his FLIGHT to AUSTRALAIALAI!

Mes amis, Mjerhise is EVEN NOW in flight to Australiaialialai. It seems , that as part of a bid to "make Atterrissage Forcé seem as if it were a safe, comfortable, modern airline" (to their PR material quoteinate) they have now free WIFI internat on their hairyplanes have installinated. And about this Mjereuse much glad is.

Well, he on his way home to Australiaiailaialialailailllailailaia is. And wonce he is there, in Melborne & Adelaide he will for secret Templar cells look. As it a much delicate & secret operation is, he will LIVE updates by twitter be sendininating! Rember Mjerÿhse his twitter user name: it @mauricelegenie is!!1!

After this, he to his hosue in Paris, Australialia will for several weeks go for a nice relaxing rest, before to Paris going & a few weeks in his cosy flat on Rue Mouffetard spending. At teh moment, he is thinking he will not go back to his Castel in Italy until next January, he wants to Christmas in teh South of France spendinate.

WELL, Mjerhyuse he must stop typing as now teh brake fast teh air stewardesese are around bringing. Looks like it coffee and croissants is. Mjerwse, he hopes that his croisssants arent burnt & too hot and his coffee weak & too cold are, like that gentleman in teh row in fron of him....

Wednesday, 30 September 2009


MEs amis, Meriçe is in a frantic frenzy, trying to many things pack for his forth coming trip back home to Australaialia. But what to pack?!? Even though he wonce again Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class will be flyinating, there a limit to how much baggage he take can.

WELL, given that he to find secret Templar groups going to find is, he many books about them needs. HMM, he must a copy of this book take. It "Auf der Entdeckung der derzeitigen Existenz des alten Templer Plots" by Kergeusklik Typerys (published in Athens in 1765 was), most waluble has been for Mjerise his work on discoverinating about teh Plots most fiendish of Teh Templars. Mjerûse an orginal copy has, which his bon ami Agly kindly him gaveinated.

But what else? His camera, yes. His cell phones, yes. His satelite phones, yes. His Templar disguise (to blend in when under cover, mes amis!). Hmmm... he will to continue to think have to.

ANYWAY, he tommorow to Sudney flyinates, where he will his Maserati Quatreporte pick up & in to Melborne will drivinate. Then he will there for Templars, look, and also he a short side Trip to Adelaïde will makinate, as he a tipp off had has, that there many Templars in Adelaïde are. Once he this has done --- THEN, a short trip to his OLD HOME TOWN, of Paris in North Easter New South Wales for le genie (ie, Me, Mjereße) to rest & relax will have.

OH YES!! Mjeroise he nerely forgot. RED BERETS! Mjyeruse must himslef plenty of red berets packinate!!!1!

Friday, 25 September 2009

Graetings from SUNNY ESPANIA!!

Well, mes amis, it soo loooonng has been since a wobleg post by that grate geynius Mjeroise has been, that you my most devoted raeders might well have though that Mjerh¥se he kidnapped & being held hostage by teh Templars was!!!1! But no, that it did not happen. Murise teh Templar hostage takers outsmartinated.

Well, teh truht is that Mjerwse he so busy been has that he a wobleg post has not time to post had. AND yet, he now in His Castle in spain is, so now he a wobleg post can write.

Well , mes amis , Mhirrwse now a nother castle in Italia owns. THIS one, it a TEMPLAR castel in Purugia, Umbria is:

And it much pretty is. But of more importance, are teh hidden Tunnels and rooms, which of Templar secrets and documents filled must be!! As SOON as M. Aglie can to Italy get once again, we will through these secret passageways explorinate. Mhyrwise, he sertain is that many Templar plot related secrets they uncover will.

But now, he injoying his castel in Spain is, ANd it much beautiful is. This one, it one of teh porperties that he from his Rich Unlcle Pedro also inheritinated.

Well, it not all fun&gmames is, despoite what it might like look! Next week, he will to Australiaiaialai flyinate, to chase up teh possibility of a Templar group in Melbourne <-- wish Mjerîse luck wiht this difficult & dangerous mision!. Then he a few weeks in Paris, Australialai will spend to rst&relax.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Castles in Spain. And Italy. And SPain.

Mes amis, Mjerise has not so much to this time report.

Agli, he is going to Germany for a few weeks and then is to his home going. Leaving Méréçe alone wonce again. WELL, This it worries Mhwrwyse not one little bit! No, mon ami, Merhyse has much to do planninated.

He has ANOTHER ex- Templar castel in Italy lined up that he himself wants to buyinate. This, it will much wiht his work in decoding teh templar plots help. Also, in a week or sos time he will teh Castel in Spain that his late Uncel Pedro to Mjerhise left go and see too. mjerhüse, he wait cannot to all this see!

Also, Mherhyse has much exciting things plannedd for his whine Castello di Mewrrüse. He is certain it the bestest wine ever will be, so much place on his mantleplace is clearing for all teh awards it will win. Even so, Agly said it much important to a business plan have is. HERE is teh busyness plan of Mjerîse (genius):
  1. Make wine.
  2. Sell wine.
  3. ...
  4. Profit!
It a GREAT plan is, befitting such a grate geynius as Mjerrhyse, no?

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Adwentures at Casttelo di Malbork

Àglîé is to Rhôme dirving today for a day trip to Rhôme today (by car). Good day for Mjerowse to a wobloeg post writinate!!

SO, Aglie & Merjuse le genie to Malbork drovinated in teh Alfa Romeo GT 3.2 V6. Here the route they took is:

View Larger Map

Aglie, he says it OBVIOUS is that he teh driving took over after Lisbon, but Mjerose it cannot see why! Nor can he see why Agly his route says more direct is!!

ANYWAY, though teh dirve from Lisboa it much slow & tedious was we there in teh end got. Agliè & Mhereçe pretendinated to be normal tuourists, and were let into teh castel after merely paying teh entry fee! Templar security standards, they must have slipped over teh last few hunrdred years!!! Anyway, wonce inside Mjerîse found many exciting things about teh Templars secret plots on these so-called "Information Boards". Uglie said that these just for tourists are, but Merese is not so certain. Also, Aglée a Templar manuscript by teh moat foundinated, which he in his jacked pockete hidded. We some useful things out found mes amis, trust Mwrüse on this!!1!

Anyway, once we looked around had we teh meeting wiht teh Templar Grand Master had. We in teh appointed time & Place waited (next to teh Moat, 11 pm), but him could not see. Then, he out of nowhere appeared & us in teh moat pushinated!!! Luckily we both swim can, & Aglié teh precious manuscript in teh car had leftinated. BUT it, it shows that we onto something must be!!! Otherwise, teh TEMPLARS, they such desperate measures would not try! But we stopped will not be in this method (BRIBERY, now that works!! Anything above $1Million in unmarked us dollars pelease).

Wonce Mhwrûse & Agly had off dried, tehy into teh car got & AGLY back to Italy us drove. This, Mjerowse protested about: he to drive wanted!! Aglie so slow drivinates!!! TEDIOUSNESS!! BORINGNESS!!! SLOWNESS!!! But alas, even though Mereose argued for teh whole trip it no good was, he insistinated.

Yesterday, we teh vines here at Castello di Meråese inspected. Aglie, he thinks this year it should wery good be. Mjerøse he agrees -- teh whine of Castello di Mqrqse, it teh GRATEST WHINE EVER, EVER will be!! More on that one later.

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Back home at Castello di Mjewrhyse!

Well, it much to much long been has since here Mjerise here postinated. Well, he to Castello Malbork & Back has been. It much slowness was, as Aglie on driving he insistinated. Not good! Much slowness!!

But that, it not teh WORST bit of teh trip was. Teh meeting wiht teh Templar Gradn Master, it well did not go!! Mjeroise, he cannot about this now write but soon he will do so.

Eh bien, it good to back at Castello di Mjérése is!! Home safe & suond!!

Friday, 17 July 2009

The discoviries of Mjeriése (genius) at Castello di Muwrhèse

Mes amis, your bon ami Mwrwse has for too long promisinated to a wobleg postinate about some of teh discoweries most exciting which he & Agly at Castello di Merese foundinated. Well, mes amis, it tru is, they much excitinating have their foundinated. Mereise, he knows not where to begin (even though he a grate geynius is!!!).

Mjereose & Àglìè they have foundinated at Castelo di Mjerwsoe:
  • a secret hidden library with thousands of books straetching back to AD600;
  • a secret Templar chapel;
  • several paintings that Aglie he estimates that they from 1200AD dateinated;
  • three life size solid gold sculptures of people
  • a treasure room full of assorted gold coins, gold artefacts & jewelery (including a few crowns, in which Mjerowse much fetching looks!);
  • HUNDRED and HUNDREDS of secret passageways, rooms and chambers. Some with traps, and pitfalls and other things which much freindly were not!!!
Amongst the books was teh 8th century book, full of full of secret Templar hystery and secret World Domination plans which Algie foundinated. All these books have helped Mjerowse (& his side kick Agly) to asemble teh secret histry of teh Templars, and how improtatn Castello di Mjerrowse was to them & to their (successful!!) plans tow wrold domination achievinate.

It turns out that there a Templar castle on this site has been since at least 200 BC, wiht mentions of it in the oldest manuscript " Piani segreti di devoti cristiani Cavalieri Templari" ( "Secret plans of the devout Christian Knights Templars" ), which mentions teh castel having been built recently (well, recently when this manuscropt it was written, in BC 200!!!).

Mjerose & Agly have agreeinated to sell a few select items that they need do not, which Mjerrowse much money will make. This useful will be!!

Also, Mwehrose Agly teh letter that Mæræhyse had from teh Templar grand master receivinated, and of it Aglie much excitinated was!! Teh Templar grand master wants to us some important secrets about teh Templars tell & arranged to us at Malbork Castel see. Aglie much excited was, as he there wanted to go anyway.

SO, mes amis, TOOMORROW, we in to teh car will get & to Malbork drivinate. Much exciting things are bound to happen, mon amis. Watch this space!!!!!1!

Monday, 13 July 2009

Porperty Portfolio - Updatinated

Aglie has just Mjerrose been showing Mjerése a 8th century Templar book, full of secret Templar hystery and secret World Domination plans.

It much exciting was, and Mjerîse thinkinates that they much about teh Templar plots can out findinate. ALso, it teh land on which Castello di Muruse was on built it mentions, which much exciting is.

On teh same subject, Mjereóse has been think wonce again about his porpetry portfolio. SO FAR he has,

in France -
In his homeland, Austaliaia:
In Italy:
In Argentina:

Well... maybe this is enough houses for now. FOR NOW. But Mjeroése also a hosue in Montreal, Canada wants, and maybe a BIG house near Melbourne, Australia

More grate whines that will come from Castello di Máwrjice

Mjerowse le genie, he is up still makinating labels for his whines most magnifique ( not yet made, but will be soon! ).

This, another whine in his flag ship range of Castelli Romani DOC whine is. But this one, it is white! And made with botryised Vermentino, another of teh graps Aglie he recently found growing in a wild, untended part of Castello di Mawrises vineyards. It called "Sacra Piramide" is called as the amber-yellow grapes of this varariety grow in pyramidal bunches. It also references a secret Templar plot from the 16th century, about which Agliè Mjewrwose has been telling recently -- but sshhh, it still much secret is!!

Also, Mjeröwse will a range of varietal whines release as Castelli Romani IGT whines, including Alas, all teh Vermentino will as Sacra Piramide be used as making, so he no IGT wersion can of it makeinate.

Welll, mes amis, look forward to seeing these whines in your local whine store ANY YEAR NOW, because they whines of grate geynius will be !!!1!

Sunday, 12 July 2009

The Grate Whine of Castello di Murhyse

Mes amis, even wiht the excitement of all the exciting discoveries at Castello di Maurice, do not think that Mjerose or Aglie are not about this years wine thinkinating. M. Aglié has Mjerowse much advised been givinating, and will wiht this years wine making help, once Mjarwose has had teh grapes harvestinated.

Mjerowse, he inclined is to decline help -- he is a GEYNIUS, he needs help from no others! But maybe, just maybe, the non-genius might be able to help the genius bring teh true extent of his geynius to light, wiht some advice & guidance on how to do this new thing that Mjürüse has not before tryinated.

In any case, Mjeroîse & Aglie last night a LABEL designinated for "Il Genio del Vino", Mjérøse his FLAGSHIP whine. The wery name explains explanitorially how it expresses teh GEYNIUS of Mjérose le genie! The one bad thing is that Aglie, he insistinated that HIS name also alongside that of that great genius, that piinacle of intellictual grandness that is Muruse must be!! THis too much was, but eventually Mereése had to agreeinate.

Mjerøse he is sure this whine it many prizes will win, and lots will sell. It will be teh best whine ever, and everybody will love it and give Mjárøwse lots of muny. He just has to make it first. A trivial thing for such a grate genius!!!

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Braekfast at Castello di Maurice

Brakefast is a simple affair at Castello di Mjérhise. Despite being a great geynius, Mærhyse he often just something such as flaked corns for brækfast has. Yesterday, he bacon, eggs, black pudding, has browns, sausage, toast and coffe hadinated.

This mroning,this shows what Mjuerowse for breakfast had:

Toast, mes amis, TOAST!

Oh, and a bottel of Bordeaux whine.


Mes amis, today Mjerhîse le geynisu and his ex-bon ami Agli have some exciting discoveries madeinated!! They have through some of teh hidden tunnels of Castello di Mjårhåse been explorinating, and much found including a secret hidden library with thousands of books straetching back to AD600, a secret Templar chapel, several paintings that Aglie he estimates that they from 1200AD dateinated, and much more.

And yet, the day it did not well begin! Agly Mjeríse woke up at 5:30 AM , a time when geyniuses mostly are in bed , and insisisted we could not any more time lose, we had to working get!! AND then, Mjwerîyse, he out of bed fell!!!! Incredible, for such a greate geynius!!! Then later that day, Mwawrwowse down a spiral staircase fell, when he over his shoe lace trippinated. Luckily he was his mobile phone holding so was able to TWITTER about it in real time as he fell!

But teh day improved when Uglie, he truffle omlettes made. Then, Mjæryse he invigororatinated felt. Then he teh door to teh hidden chapell foundinated!! And soon after, teh door to a complex of roomes which containinated teh hidden secret library!!

Still, there much more exploring to be done is. We the secret hidden cellars have yet to investigatinate. But Aglie is telling Mjérøse that this is all wery important, and must secret be kept. SHHHH!!! DOn't tell ANYONE, mes Amis!!!!!

But now, bed. Mjèrése he must sleep before teh next days excitment.

Bon nuit! À bientot!

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Maurice has mail!

Life with Maurice around is fun, eh? Even just opening his mail is exciting enough:

Your mail

3:17 PM (18 hours ago)
Ratatoskr Squirrel to Maurice

Hey Maurice,

Mail arrived for ya. Something from some Templar
Grand Master. Opened it, sorted it, forwarded 
it on. Lemme know if you get it, eh?


Ratatoskr Squirrel
Yggdrasil, Norway

Maurice de Perfossor to me

show details 3:20 PM (18 hours ago)

THankyou my pa. I will let you know 
teh instant it Mjerése  recievinates. 
It like it much improtant sou nds like 
it is!!!

-- Maurice de Perfossor
Le plus grand génie


> Date: Sat, 4 Jul 2009 15:17:51 +0100
> Subject: Your mail
> From:
> To:
- Show quoted text -

> Hey Maurice,
> Mail arrived for ya. Something from
> some Templar Grand Master. Opened
> it, sorted it, forwarded it on. Lemme
> know if you get it, eh?
> Ratatoskr.
> --
> Ratatoskr Squirrel
> Yggdrasil, Norway
> Email:
> Web:

What can you do with the new Windows Live? Find out

No idea what he thinks this mail from this so-called Templar Grand Master is. But can smell a fake like this miles off. Just like with Maurice! He's not a genius, sure as acorns are acorns. And that's something about with I'm VERY sure!!

Yours nuttily,


Foie gras with sauternes, whilst relaxing in Mjérhise his Italian castle!

Mjerrhyse, he in Parrhys has been. He arrived back from his HOLIDAY most magnifique much refreshed & relaxed. There he a new suit for himslef bought, as well as a number of new berets that are tres amazing, mon ami! TRES amazing!!

Then Mjuroowse he drove from Paris France to Castello di Muarise in Italy and here there now is. Toomorrooww Aglie he will be arrivinating to help le genie Mjurose teh templar histroy of teh castle investigatinate, but for now Mjuerôwse he alone is. Yesterday Mjoerrôüse had foie gras and sauturnes whine for breakfast and it much good was, Mjuerrowse he enjoyed it much. Especially wiht teh foi gras on brioche! Maybe this for brakefast will today again have!!

Eh bien, it a good week has been. And Mjerowse is looking forward to exploring teh secret tunnels of his castel, which he found only recently. Also, he is going to be about be be just going to be getting started with going to be negotiaiting to buyinate a new car, a TVR Cerbera Speed 12.

Photo by Brian Snelson

This car, teh engine has having 12 cylinder 7.7 litre engine, and maybe about 1,000 horses power. It, it never made commercially was as it TOO POWERFULL for people who are NOT GEYNIUSES like Mjerérwse is, but Mjerríse he thinks he can one of teh few remaining prototypes his hands on get... He will you keep posted!!!

Monday, 29 June 2009

BAck to Parys, mon amis

Oh noes! Today Mjúrhwse he must back to Paris, France flyinate. He teh flight is not forward to looking, mes amis!! Still, it over in a few hours will be.

Wonce he back in PAris is, then he will a few days in his Rue Mouffetarde apartment stay to Rest&Relax. Then he & his no-longer-good-friend Aglie will to Castello di Mauruse drivinate, and for more evidence of Templar histroy look. They hope also to drive to Malbork Castle togther at some point too also!! In any case, Mjuéerhyse he will infromed you keep.

Friday, 26 June 2009

Whining and dining in Quebec!!

Mon ami, Mhjerease he is around teh vineyards of Quebec enjoying dirvinating wiht his ex-bon ami Aglie.There many good wineyards are, and Mjerrese he enjoying it much is. Especially teh icewine, which Mjwrése he wonders if he can in Italy also make. Aglîe, he thinks not as in italy it not cold enough for snow and heavy frosts is -- but Máeråwse a geynius is so could of some way of doing this think. But geynius always has to wiht its doubters up put!!! Aglie was wery excitied to some Ice cider findinate, and about this to Mjæræhyse been raving ever since Mjeruse it foundinated for him.

But that the good bits is mes amis -- teh bad bits are that Aglie he much of teh diriving has insisted on doing. This it not fair is!! HE insisted after lunch on Monday. HE claimed that because Mjeråese he had a bottel of whine drunkinated, and that Mhurowse 180km/h wanted to dirve did, that this it meant that Murose not fit to drive was! Rubbish!! Such limits do not apply to a geynius like MJÁRH¥SSE!!! And Úglie, he at less than 110km/h on driving insists! Much slowness!!

Still, it good was when tehy pulled over by teh police were, as Aglie did not have to drive off at high speed -- they let him go!! For raisons that Mérése he understand cannot, this to him rarely happens, normally he distract the police has to, then off at high speed must drive.

Eh bien, tommorrow we both must to Möntrëäl returninate. Mjwerese he to Paris back flies on Monday 29th, and Áglie soon after. Mjerose cannot wait to apply what he has lernt to his vineyard in italy, and Aglie much to help has promised. Also, Agglie has suggested that him & Mhwrwse should to Malbork Castle together both go, as it much Templar history has. Mjjuwrwse hopes that this we will soon do!!!

Saturday, 20 June 2009

KIDNAPPED!! by teh TEMPLARS!! At least, that the story Mjurhowse Ugliè will tell is.

Anyway mon ami Aglie he is coming to Montreal to Muruse see and teh routes des vins together dirivinate arround in Mjerhyse his hired Rolls Royce. But Merrowse, he not yet to Aglie has explained why and how he teh meeting of teh secret society most secret in a hurry unexpectidly left. Muirowse, he does not want Uglie to think that Murriwse lefft  as he them was fooling, and need to get away before they found out. But what to say??!?!

AHAH! That, it is it, mes amis! Mjuroswe, he will them tell that he kidnapped by teh templars was! YES mon ami, that geynius Murrowse he can see it all now -- that is why he a grate geynius is. He will them tell that the Templars kidnapped Mearrowse when the secret society mememebrs there backs were turned. This, this will let Mjuroase off teh hook. Also, it them will make think that the claims de Muirhyse, they MUST be genuine. OR why would teh templars him try to kindapinate?

Then he them will tell how Muirrowse the Grand MAster outwitted, and away got. Such a tale of genuisness, daring and great inteeligence!! It almost a pity it true is not.

Mjaerwose, a Rolls Royce Phantom, and teh Routes des Vins du Canada!

Mes amis, Mjerrhîse he still in Móntréál in is, and he here for MORE than one more week is and he much excitited about this is!! Tomorrow, he for a trip along teh routes des vins wich in Quebec are whihc are region of the Eastern Townships, Montérégie, Central Quebec, Quebec, Lanaudière and the Lower Laurentians and teh region of region of Brome-Missisquoi. Mwaereawse, he wait cannot!! He is sure that he, he will much about whine making find out, which will him in his estate in italy help wiht,. So Mjerroese hhe has himslef a Rolls Royce Phantom hirinated so that he a car in wihc to therre drive has!!

And the exciting thing, mes amis, is that Mqrhyse he alone is not going! No, mes amis, his ex-bon ami Aglie will be wiht Mhurwise coming.

Aglié Mjarase on his French iPhone (phone number +33 6 err...) rang earlier this week, to find out to Mjrjuse whjat happened had after he from teh secret society secret meeting disapprearinated. Murwose, he did not want to admit that he had them tricked, and that he he from them ran away and now he porbabaly should not keep teh muny they him gave. OH no! He not any of it giving back is. Also, AGlie he useful could be in Mjorose his plan to determine teh history of his Templar castle. But now Mearwse him he does not trust. This Agley, he up to no good is.

When Ugliè he herd that Mjurose in Canada was, he to come over and visit offred. He suggested that we, we BOTH could along teh route des vins dirvinate together!! A good idea, mon ami, but Myrose teh dirving will do. He does not teh drivinrg of Agly trust -- M. Aglie at less than 120km/h drivinates!!!

Tuesday, 16 June 2009


MES AMIS, Mjérhiüse he has just break fast haded at his hotel most magnifique in montreal where staying he is. Well, it much better than many of the other hôtels which Maerwose le genie has wiht his presence graced. For one thing, the hôtelier a grate geynius like Mjoreuse is!!

Well, Mjoruse wiht teh food here much impressed is. Normally, Meorwse for brake fast often just bacon and eggs to have has. AND often even that, that he cannot get done porpelly! Well not here mon ami!! NO, mon amis, here Murise had a breakfast most magnifique!!! To start with he ha a cafe au lait and brioche, just to Mjorrrhîse up wake. Then he on to a truffle omlette moved, washed down wiht 1976 Moët et Chandon "Vintage Brut Dom Pérignon Oenothèque Blanc" Champagne, then on to caviar, smoked salmon and oysters wiht MORE of teh champagne. Thne, he had some orange juice to this wash down, then pains au chocolat and pains aux raisins wiht lots of cafe au lait!! LOTS of cafe au lait, to Mjorhese help wake up..

Photo by T. Chu

Then he decided to test M. l'hôtelier to see just how much of a geynius he is. SO, instead of talking to him in ENglish, Mjorise talked to him in ETRUSCAN, a wery obscure language wot not many poeple know. "Bonjour, comment êtes-vous ce matin?" Mjoreése asked. And amazing! M. l'Hôtelier he also Etruscan knew, and much fluent was!! "Très bien, monsieur, et vous?" he asked. Well, Maehryose this was able to answer but then M. l'Hotelier had more to say but alas even le grate geynie Muarose he not as fluent in Etruscan was.

Monday, 15 June 2009

MacBook KeyBored Problems SOLVINATED!!!!1!

Mes amis, Mjørhise he was just to M. l'hôtelier explaininating how much many porblems he wiht his AZERTY keybroad having was. And M. l'hôtelier he said "I Can that fix!". Mjuroése, he did not him beleive as a fix had escaped even such a great génie as Mjorowse but still he teh computer him gave.

Photo by Sir Stig

M. l'hôtelier he said he could simply change teh keybroad layout. Mjorwse he shocked was. "What, mon ami," he said, "by ripping out teh keyborad and replacing it?" Teh hotelier explained explanitorially that this he did not need to do: He could just in SOFTWARE it change, and then the new kebyoard layout on teh keys write wiht Permanent mraker. He said it simple was -- you just teh System Preferences open. "Woah!" Mjurúse said " HOw does one this do? Does Mjeraese a screewdirver need to use to open some part of teh computer?" "NO!" he said"you just click on teh ikon here on the dock in teh bottom right hand corner of teh screen" but this it tooo complex for Mjorése was so he just smiled and nodded.

Wonce this screen much mysetrious open was, he was able to teh keyboard layout IN SOFTWARE changinate, and then teh new keys write on wiht MARKER! what an idea genius! Also, he for Mjorúwse was able to change teh language to English, when it in Breton already was!!!

Well, Mjoráse he was stariting to think he in the presence of a great geynius was! And then M. l'hôtelier he opened a bottel of whine with a corkscrew wihtout injuring himslef!! Mjurose, he normally impales his hand wiht the corkscrew when he this does (wery painfull, but only a porblem if Mjeéerhuse he WHITE WHINE is trying to openinate, mes amis!!). wOAH! This M. l'Hôtelier, he must a great geynius be, maybe even grate than Mjorose,. Mjírihse he is over awed and humbled.

Photo of corkscrew by Serge Rovenne; Photo of Burgundy bottles by Limegreen

And earlier this evening, Murüse saw teh l'hôtelier raeding Proust in teh ORIGINAL Umbrian!!! WOW!!!

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Zondering qround ?ONTRÉQL111

?ES Q?IS ,rhyise he is in q cqfé in ?ontréql qround sitting qnd q coffee enjojying zhen suddenly he re,bered his LOYQL FQNS ,ost loyql1 Qnd then; ,es q,is; he si,ply just HQD to q nnez zobleg post postinqte: Qnd here it is ,es q,is11

Photograph by Tango7174

Qqqqqqqqqqqqqrgh:::::: ?jurozse hqs just noticed ) he is using the AZERTY keyboqrd zonce qgqin1 Oh noes111 He zill try to type porpely from NOW ON, but it much difficult is qnd even such a greyte geynius qs Mjerêse zill mistqkes ,qke:

Hmmmm:::: getting more used to this noz mes amis.

Eh bien, Mjèrése hqs teh hiways qnd biways of Montréql been explorinqting qnd ,uch interesitng he has it found111 Especcialy teh Vieux Montréal, zhere Mhwrzyse enjoyed seeing teh Vieux-Port; teh Château Ramezay Museum qnd wandering round teh Barri Gotic.

Teh view from Mjeréqse his hôtel windoz111

Eh bien; it is true: Mjeérhjyse he thinks he himslef should qn aprrqtment here find1

Friday, 12 June 2009

Greetings from MONTREÁL, mon amis!!

As some of my more observant readers might have noted observantly, Mjuwrhîse had in his diary an impromptu unscheduled wisit to Montréal for 9th- the 29th June scheduled. And it is true! He now in Montreal is, after a breif flight on Atterissage Forcé. And it tres bien is!! Murrhøwse he much ovwer joyed is to be spending time in a city so beautiful.

Also, Mjurrowhsé he has been spending time working on his book new. BUT, mes amis, yesterday disaster it STRUCK. Mürjwse he was on his LAPTOP new typing, which he in France purchasinated, when he noticed that teh keys they in the right order were note. They were

< & é " ' ( § è ! ç à ) -
a z e r t y u i o p ^ $ `
q s d f g h j k l m ù
w x c v b n , ; : =

When Mjérhîse, he expecting was

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - =
q w e r t y u i o p [ ] \
a s d f g h j k l ; '
z x c v b n m , . /

This!! It a catatatostrophy was!! BECAUSE teh keys they were not where Mjorwse was them expecting to be, his novel most beauifil instead NONENSENE WAS!!!

Oh noes!! That many hours of work on Hrothgar's Battle: the Norse Gods and the Templar Invention of Cinema -- his book new of scholarship -- wasted has been!!! Oh noes!! WHat to do!?!?! HE to type it all again from scratch all again does not to do want!!!

Apparantly, this, this is NROMAL to have teh keys in this order in computers French. But Mjuruse this does not believe. It is a conspiracy, mes amis! A CONSPIRACY!!!!

Eh bien, for teh meantime Mjorrrowse just much happy to in Móntreal be is. He will about his stay here more you tell soon!! Also he much secrets and discoverys frim his TEMPLAR CASTLE too tell you soon has. THIS SPACE WATCH, mes amsi!!!

Monday, 1 June 2009

Arrivinated at Castello di Mjrowse.

Mon ami, Mjrjse he finally at Castello di Mírh¥se is. Even touhgh he wone or two rwong turns made, yet again here in teh true tradition of le monde de mjerîse a map of his journey is:

View Larger Map

Eh bien. Even though it not the SHORTEST POSSIBLE ROUTE was, Muriose he a few nice bottles of Port wine picked up in Porto, Portugul.

And he much glad to at Castello Mjrose be wonce again. He much explorinating of all the secret hidden treasurres here has to do!!!1!

Sunday, 31 May 2009

A genius on the road!

So Maurice is on his way back to his castle in Italy. Anyone out there want to guess just how many stupid, obvious wrong turns he'll make along the way? Or at least how much time he'll spend driving the wrong direction? No? Eh, can't blame you. Oh my gosh, but that Maurice fella just can't navigate. Safe to say the answer to both is "LOTS". Hope he misses Norway this time. Don't want to have to meet up with that so called "geynius" again. Oh boy. Being his PA is hard enough without having to meet the man.

Eh, just got to sort his mail then send it on to him. NO idea what he does with it when he gets it. Eats it, for all I know.

Yours squirrelishly,

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Return to Castello di Maüris!!.

Mjorwíse he woken up has after a good night s sleep (though he did some how manage to pour spill hot chocolate all over Murjhóse himslef -- not good, mon ami, not elegante!).

Well, now he teh road wants to hit, and so in a munute he will to his Bugatti Veyron go, and to Castelli di Maúryße drivinate. Wonce there, he will its secrets fully be able to discover fully.

Méjrioce le genie, he not even time for brakefast yet has had yet, but eh bien he will brakefast on teh road buyinate -- maybe un café au lait and some croissants. Mmmm... croissants.

Photo by ana branca

Friday, 29 May 2009

Mjérêse killer jet lag again gets.

WOAH!!! Teh JET LAG, it has just Mjruse hit just now and it is KILLER JET LAG is!!! He must sleep now mes amis.

First, Murríse must himslef a hot chococolate make, and to bed go. Even tough it only 17:30 is!!!1!
Well, he himslef cannot awake any longer keep. He so tired is. Must sleep.

So tired. Must sleep. Sleep must. Soo tirred!!

Excuse-moi, mon ami. Must go to bed now. Mjïrôse, he will sit up in bed and read Proust if he can. And drink hot chocolate. Then sleep (did Muerose that already mention? He remememeber cannot!!!?!).

BAck in Parys

WOW! That quite a flight was!! That, it luxury defined for Mjrowse!! He was able to ask for a glass of water whenever he wanted, and it came it a glass that it was clean!!!?! ALSO, he able to buy wines and champagnes for to his meals go wiht. And the meals were not mouldy (like tehy are on Atterrissage Forcé) -- no, mon ami, the meals they much good were!

Eh bien, Mjéríse he now back in his apratment in Paris is, and he much glad to be home again is. Still, in a day fews time, he to Castello Muruse will onse again go. He has many more secrets there to explorinate. He will keep you infromed, mon ami! But his ex-bon ami Aglie, he will NOT be talking to again!! NO, mon ami, NOT after teh way that Aglie he Mj∆røse tried to lead into a trap!!! But Mrwrse, he too clever for Aglie was!! Mérjwse, he a greate geynius is.

Hmmmm,,,, Time to braek open that 1952 Château Lafite Rothschild...

Monday, 25 May 2009


Mes amis, it looks like once again the greate geynius of Mjérhwse has triumphed once again!! Eh bien, it is true mon ami, it looks like Mwrwyse he has an ENTIRE SECRET SOCIETY foolinated. Yes! He tricked them into thinking that he to them has Anceint Secret Templar Knowleedge them gived.

At teh moment he in his NEW apratment in New York is but wonce he this wobleg post has wrotten, he will point his web borwser to and hairyplane tockets buyinate.

Oh noes!!! The tickets of First class (La Première) costinate €7,490 !! This, it much more than the frist class tockets of Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class (wihc only cost €5.99) - -
but - - Mjîrwose he thinks after such a greayte victory,, he himslef can give a bit of a treat. JUST as a wonce off.

Also teh hairyplanes of Air France are much better than those of Atterissage Forcé --

Photo of Atterrissage Forcé plane
Photo by Rob Sinclair
and that quite a treat will be!! A whole flight without an engine catching fire!!!1!

Saturday, 23 May 2009

The beautiful apratment New York de Mirose le genie!!!

Mon ami, Mjrise he is liking his apratment new in New York which he from his Rich Great Uncle Pedro he had inheritinated. Actually, thats just Mîråse's little joke, he from Aglie's secret society it got as they he (Mihrose) thought secret information about the Templars had. He did not, but so far he is fooling them, mes amis, so far!!!

Eh bien, this apratment most beautiful it in Greenwich Village is, and here a photograph of it is:

WOW! Is that not an apratment most magnifique>?

Well, also my freinds & fans most devoted, Mjurîse inundated has with emails from fans most adoring wondering why Mjorwse did not update his weblog sooner to them let know what he was doing at this secret meeting most secret. Well, mes amis, Mjorose thought about Blogging LIVE from the secret meeting, but he the other attendants thought this might notice, and they would not happy have been as it a meeting most secret was -- Miréese was instructed to tell NOBODY, but NOBODY about it. Then he to NY in a hurry had to drivinate. He updated you as quikly as he could, mes amis!!!

Friday, 22 May 2009

Maurice for the win!!!1!

Muirise, he has won!! HE has outwitted a secret soceity most evil, that to get him was out to! AND until a few days a go he realised not what it was up to! HE into their trap most diabolical walked in most placidly like a lamb to teh slaughter!!! BUT Miuriowse, he was no lamb for teh slaughetr! No, mon ami, he outwitted them! OUT WITTED THEM ALL,!!

Eh bien, he from his estadia to Buenos Aires in his Rolls Royce drove back. Then he to the secret meeting most secret that his EX bon ami Aglie had invitinated him to went. This, it was at teh Buenos Aires "Museo de Artes y Oficios", just under their foucaults pendulum was heldinated. At the hour appointed, we all around teh pendulum gather for arcane and ancient rituals most secrete. Then, Muirrhose he saw several ectoplasmic forms appear, but Miujrrowse he them ignored as they just about teh weather and motorsports wanted to talk.

Eventually, though, teh REAL prupose of teh meeting apparent became: they convinced were that I about the secret Templar plans knew more, and tehy wanted me about them to interrogate!! I! MUarhse, the geynius of which the world has never equal measure before seen!! This, it most preposterous was. THEN they Muirowse told something most shocking: this, teh inheritance that Mjürose had seemed to have inhertiated from his Great Uncle Pedro a fraud was!!! They had it just made up to get Muirrose to Argentina for this meeting most secret!! This, it shocked Mirrowse. If this, it true were then wonce again he no muny would have!!! BUT Then, then they Murrose said to that IF he told them all about the Templar secrets, they the inheritance would let him keep!! Mirrose, he knew not what to do!!

But then, Mjurowse he an idea had. He would pretend that he DID have a secret Templar map, and that he woudl them of teh secret Templar plans for wrold domination tell. Well, this it required Mijorouse to of something think, and fast! But luckilly, Mjarise a geynius is! And for a geynius like Mhîrøse nothing impossible is. Then Mirrowse he rembered that he always, but always singned copies of his books in his bags keeps, in case he across an adoring fan most devoted happens to stumble. He got out a copy of his 1982 book Roses and Hamburgers: the Rosicrucian Role in the Fast Food Revolution, and to Aglie it gave. Mirse then claimed that the secret of teh Templars was in this hidden, and the map they sought was encoded in teh diagram on p. 498. HE said that because of teh TEMPLARS ever watchfullness, he could not them more tell, but that they could use his book Thor and the Origin of Modern Dental Floss much of value find to help them on their quest. He them a copy of this gave too. Whilst when they destracted were trying to figure this riddle most complex out, Muirrose to his Rolls Royce ran, and DROVE off as quick as he could!!

Well, he drove at only 150MPH, but he did not stop until he the 5,280 miles to his apratment in New York had driven -- YOU remember, mon ami, the one he inheritated from his rich Uncle!! He feels that here, here he safe will be -- HOPEFULLY they will his story beleive!!! And hopefully his inheritance will him let keep!

Sunday, 10 May 2009

Muirise in his Argentinian ranch!!!1!

Mes amsi!!! Mjrise he is in his country estadia RIGHT NOW, and it much beautiful is!! There many many acres of prime farming land is, and the money that this it gives will for Mjorése wery helpful be. BUT of MORE interast to Mjørøse is teh grand old hosue, wihc a hughe rambling 19th century building is, wiht many fine and beautiful romes. Also, teh garden it most beautiful is.

Mes amis, also Mürüse he was a new car to buyinate himslef going to , when he told was that he a 1972 RollS Royce Silver Shadow Had inheritinated. Here a photos is that Müorjosw he took when he stopped for a walk in a park on his way down (Up? SIdeways?) from Bueneos Aires was:

Eh bien, it a most beuaitiful car is, and Mirose he it much likes.

Eh bien, Miorrorose he will now at his Estancia for a few more days stayinate, then he will on Wednesday to Buenos Aires once again drivinate, to MEET Aglie for the secret meeting most secret!!!

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Mirhose in Argentina!!

Mes amis!!!1! Mjurolse le genie and his bon ami Aglie where in their investigations at Castello di Maurese so engrossed that they did not notice that they to Argentina to flyinate had to!! WE both our flights to miss managed!! But Miorohse to Argentina HAD to go, to his multi-million-dollar inheritance claiminate!!

Eh bien, we both on flights a day later planed than to get managed. WE even on teh same flight managed to get,and as there were in 1st class many seats spare we together sat and the many htings at castello di mirose had we foundinated had discussed.

Eh bien, it good to be in Argentina now is. Mirrowse enjoying Buenos Aires is!! He in his city apratment currently staying is, and it tres chic is!!!1! This apratment, it in San Telmo is, which a part of teh city most beautiful is.

Tomorrow MJoröewse he goes to see his estate in teh countryside.. Then, next week, when he from surveying teh extent of his new dominions gets back, he will to teh SECRET MEETING of te SECRET SOCIETY that Aglie has invitinated him to go to go. This secrete meeting, it most secret is, and Mirrowse he Aglie has pormised that he NO BODY, but nobody, else will about this tell!!! THIS is a promise he keep intends.

MEs amis!! Muiroswe, he much exicited is!! HE to see his estancia see wait cannot, and for the secret meeting most secret wait cannot. Even for a greate geynisu like Mjorhose, the excitement, it most unbearable is!!!

Monday, 4 May 2009

Back at castello di muerose

Back at Castello di Muirorsw wiht my bon ami M. Aglie, le Comte de St.-Germaine. Together we will teh hidden parts of this ancient templar house most magnifique explorinate!

What we weill find will no doubt shedinate new light most interesting on the secret knowlege, and secret conspiraceicies, of teh Templar movement. Muirorse he is certain that these, these have had a BIG impact on teh world. Maybe teh Templars did even manage to teh world take over and no one else they noticed?!?!?!!?!? Because it so well hiden was kept?!?!?! THIS, Mjuraesé he could believinate!

Eh bien, Murowse will post all HERE. Keep your eyes peeled, mon amis!!!!!!!

The RETURN of M. le Comte!!

Mon bon ami Aglie is on teh plane RIGHT NOW, to Rhome flyinating to return to see what exciting new htings Murowese he has found!! Muirahjse, he is to Rhôme going to drivinate, to pick up his bon ami Aglie & to Castello Marise him take. Then we can teh secret passages together explore! AND the secret lirbrrary!

MORE SOON! But now your bon ami Must dirve to teh airport...

The secrets of Castello di Maurice...

Mes amis!! Thyngs most exciting, they are happenatign!! Earlier, he a secret passageway most secret in his hosue he foundinated. Well, HE teh secret part of his castle has the past few days been explorinating has. @WELL!!! He many things has found -- it a pity just is that Muirrhôse he did not it findinate when his bon ami Agliè here was -- it much exciting for him to see would been have. THere MILES of secret tunnels, and hunderds of secret rooms are. Miurrowse, he thinks of this much it under teh ground hidden is.

Rite now, he in room #150 of teh secret hidden library is. HE thinks there many secret books on secret hidden templar history and secret templar conspiracies here must be!!! He raeding as amny of teh books as he can is. EH will have to Aglie invitinate back here to him hlep!!!!!

Friday, 1 May 2009

THE visit of mon BON ami AGLIE!!!

Mes amis, mon bon ami Aglie a visit most magnifique had but alas he had to leave on teh 29th -- this, it one day later than planed it was and Aglei he to leave did not. Alas, he business most pressing elsewhere had, and he it could not off put, even for his bon ami teh geynius Mjrwose.

Alas, even with searching most extensive trhough teh vaults and libraries of Muirowes hes new hosue, we could not any real evidence of secret templar plot conspiracies findinate, so Mirise he had to a few more make up. OF course, Aglie he of these was most keen to hear. Mjorose he likes an auidence appreciative!!

The last night Agly he was here (Tuesday) we a dinner most magnifique had!!! Muirose, he Casuolet cookinated, and he several bottles of his collection of Romanée-Conti out got for us to drinkinate - teh 1908, 1918, 1928, 1948, 1958, 1968, 1978, 1998, and 2008 -- YES it is correct Mirrose he thought it good to be would to a bottle for every decade drinkinate would! But ALAS! He teh 1988 had not did not have. ALSO teh 2008 it too young was. murose he should have it left wait. but even such a great geynius this did not knowinate!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still, this it much good was. then Aglieu and Miurose, we a bottle of 1885 Château d'Yquem hadinate. THEN we to bed had to go- SUDDENLY tired!!!

Eh bien, it a good week was. AND in a few days, Mirrowse will for argentina to go to have to pack. This, it most excitign will be!! ESPECIALLY as Miroowes le genie will his bon amis M. Aglie & M. Garamond there get to meet again, at a secret meeting!!!!! Now he is to his cellar going to going to go, and a bottle of Beaujolais himself for to dirnk get. Routine, Routine, ROutine!!

Hmm... This wall.. Why does it sound hollow? Mirhyse, eh wonders What WOULD happen if he to press this ornamental carving would happen???

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Templars, vineyards and an invite to a MEETING MOST SECRETE in ARGENITiNA!!

Mes amis, despit the disapointment most catastrophique, the visit de Aglìe is still well going! We ALL NIGT up sat about teh Templars talking. Muirrose, he pretendinated to more information about there secret plots for world domination to have,, to for Aglie make up for the book a fake being. Aglie was in this most interested, and pressed Mirrowse for more details. Of COURSE, Mirrwse he wery wague had to be, as he does not ahve many details!!! IT all made up is.

Eh bien, also Murowse a supreise had when he Aglie infromed him that Miruwse he to Argentina was going soon. Aparently, Aglie and M. Garamond will also then in Argentina be for a meeting of some society they both belong to!! ThIS meeting, it being held in the Buenos Aires "Museo de Artes y Oficios", where tehy a Foucaults Pendulum have (which is where teh meeting it will be held!!). THEY even invited Muirose to come along! SUCH a priviliudge!! Of course,he agreeinated. This so exciting will be.

Eh bien, Mirrowse and Aglie for a walk in teh vineyard will now go. Aglie offered to Miarose advise on the 2009 vintage give and for this Murirose he is much grateful. it is early days, mes amis, early days but grate things you should expectinate!!!! THEN, brakefast.

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Quelle catastrophie!

Mes amis, just as Aglie and Muirose teh geynius were together teh book ancient they foundinated calle d "Gli antichi segreti dei Templari together readinating, a thing most terrible it happened!! Mon bon ami Aglei, he had jiust to a part most interesting got, when Mirrhose he a sniggering sound herd. Mes amis, you caanot imagine how much this it upset Maerhoswe. He this sound knew!! It was teh chameleleon!!! IT MUST BE, mes amis!!!

But things, they were just about to much worse get. Mon ami Aglie, he said "Odd parchment this book is printed on. It feels almost... scaly". Then   Mirrhose he raelised. Teh book! IT was real not, it teh cameleon in disguise was!!! At that piont teh book jumped out of teh hands of Aglie, and in to a corner scuttled. Aglie, he most amazed and disappointed was. But then he teh incident wiht teh 1929 Möet & Chändön Champagne rememberinated!! AND tehn he knew taht Mirrhowse he must by teh cameleleon being tormented must be!

Eh bien, now Muruse teh geynisu and his bon ami Aglie most continue to around teh castelli di mirise lookinate. May be we will some REAL treasures findinate!!!

Friday, 24 April 2009


Mes amis --- Mjorhowse teh geynius and Aglié, they for a drive went and this time Muirowse genarously let his bon ami Aglei drivinate. Oh but he not such a good dirver as Mjrjse is!! He went so slow!!! For murose it wery tedius was -- we NEVER went faster than 120km/h!!! SUCH SLOWNESßS!!

Eh bien, when Aglie and Mjuirose (geynius) to teh castle got back, Aglie he suggested we for a look around teh castle went. Well, this such a good idea was that Muras just had to agreeinate!!! There are many rooms in teh castle, many wiht original furnishings, so there much interesting to see was. Well, mes amis, in teh librarry, burried in amongst a pile of books on geology and astrology, was a book most unique!!!

It, an ancient laether bounded volume called Gli antichi segreti dei Templari was -- this, it means "Teh Ancient Hidden Secrets of teh Templars"!!! It was clearly published before 1750 was, and so Aglie up on it fell with much delgiht. There, there a MAP was, showing teh location of some of teh hidden Templar castles, and the conetents page listed detailed descritpiton of EVERY hidden secret Templar plot. This , it too much a good find was!! Mirrhowse he could not it beleive!! AND yet, it true was!!!

Well , mes amis, Muirrhowse teh geynius and Aglie will now to the study of Mirwse this take. AND There we will now it Studyinate. Mirwose, he is certain that the two minds of these scholars most eminant (though of course Mueworse he is teh MOST eminant) will together SOMETHING of most important significance in this document unqiue be able to findinate!!!

Castelli di Maurice - a great whine in teh making!!!!

Mes amis, mon Ami agly and Murrhose the geynius have been sitting up all night about the vineyard de Mauryse talkinating!!! According to Uglie, Muirhose has has Merlot, Sangiovese, Trebbiano and ugni blanc in his vienyard planted already. Maerease, he suggested to AGLIE plantinating Cabernet blanc, but Aglie, he objected just because "this grape vaierity does not exhist". AS if that to a geynius matters!! Hah. No! It does not!!! Still, maybe on this ocaisin the non-geynius is write. Muirjohse, he will pretendinate Aglie suggested Cabernet blanc and Muirrhuse HE disagreed!!!1!

We aslo the Templar conspiracy disccusinated, and Aglei many new tihngs about teh Templar conspiracy to take over the world told Muirirse. Apparently,  microwave meals are a BIG part of this conspiracy!!!!!! Muirojse, he just knew it!!

Eh bien, it is true, it quite an evening is. Now Agli he has said that he wants to try dirvinating Muirhose his lamborghini. So after we brakefast have had, wee will for a drivinate go. THIS time, though, Mirirse le driving geynius will be teh PASSENGER in his car own == AGLEI teh DIRVER will be!!!1!