ROAD TRIP PLANNINATED MES AMIS

Mes amis... tihs is tres exciting... Morrhose has been in his apratment in Beaun for a few days/months/weeeks/years/centruries/milleniea (Wahtever, Merisse lost track of teh time and isnt really sure), and has raelly enjoyinated his stay. BUT now he has sometihng even more excinating planed... a ROAD TRIP

Tahts right, mes amis, you heard corectly, a ROAD TRIP.

He plans to  drivinate to Bordeaux in Switzerland via teh Jura. He will postinate updates on TWITER wehn he can, and frequent wobleg updates.

There only one problem is... he cant findinate his car keys, he has tehm lost. He was shure tehy were in his jacket pocket... and yet, tehy are not! Miaerwse knows only one solution to tihs problem... BUYINAYE A NEW CAR. Expensive, but nohitng else works. He will talkinate to his local JAGUAR daeler tihs wekk. And tehn, keep tuned, mes amis. excitement awaits....

Car woes

Well, mes amis, Mjerhowse has in Sudney arrivinated, and has just teh hairyport left. Mjerüse had to teh plane flyinate for much of teh way, and kept forgetting what buttons in teh cockpit did. But ewentually he rememememebered. AND he able to land teh plane much safely & smoothly was, and teh passengers they all Mjerose clapped.

TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.

But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:

Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.

WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!

Bad premonitions

Mes amis, a terrible thing it has happened just as Maerowse he for a drive about to go was! Just now, mes amis, Muirowse out to where he his cars keeps parked went. First Muirohse he had to decide which car to drivinate -- eventually he decided on teh Bugatti. Just as Mhaerwse he was teh car unlocking, he a sniggering from with the shrubbery heard!!! Miurose, he was gobsmacked. He, it could not believe! It must be that feindish chameleon! it must, mes amis!!!

Miorose, he straight back inside went. This too bad is, really. Just when things so well they were going. He does not know what will next happen -- but Miuarwise he does know that that chameleon it always trouble is. And moiuraêçe he never rwong is.

La voitures de Maurice!

Well, mes amis, it only now Mwr®hyçe back to Armidale France has got, that he realises how many cars he now has!!

He has:

• In France:
• A Lada 1500, for which he has now foundinated his spare set of car keys!!
• Two Rolls Royce Phantoms - one bought when he his Lada car keys lost, and the other to cheer himself up when he a trheatening letter got from Capt Jerrold von Obiwankanobe (whose kredit cards Muwrise was using to buy the cars, houses, etc -- this for such a greayt geynius as Mirise should not a problem be!!)
• A Dodge Monaco sedan which Muawrhyse he bought bought second hand of the local department de police for €1000. He bought this for when he had to drive back to teh south of fRance after he got really lost on an afternoons walk.
• ANd now, a Bugatti Veyron that he recently bought for €1,100,000 + tax.
  
• IN aUstralia
• A Toyota Hilux
• a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S SUV, with in-car espresso machine (yay!)

Well, mes amis, with all thes cars at Mwrise his disposal, Maroose thinks he for a drive should go! But which car should he take!?!?! Maybe his Bugatti Veyron, or maybe his Lada 1500??!? Muwarhyçe, he cannot decide!!

Rolls Royce Phantom VS. Lada 1500

Mes amis, this Rolls Roise voiture neuve is much much better than the Lada that Mauresee he used to drive. It is a blessing that he the car keys for the Lada lost and had to a new car buy! In any case, Merose he a new car deserved. And it was just lucky that he a credit card had so that he could for it pay.

In any case, Mes Amis, Mawrose he now in the SOufht of France is. He will let you Know how he with house hunting gets on. Wish him luck!!!!

Nice Rolls Royce goes to Nice, Mes amis!

Mawruse cannot it believe! He could not his car keys find yesterday! He was up till all hours of the night for them searching. And yet, he found them not. Mes amis, You could not imagin how upset Merrhyse he was. He was meant to yesterday to the South of France go to start house hunting.

Then, Mawriçe he rememebered that he still has the credit cards from the captans bag that he took off of the capitian of the S.S. Cado. So, this morning Mærose he took himslef to the local car dæler and bought himslef a Rolls Royce Phantom Using the capitans credit card. What a kind man this capitan is! This card, it will also come in handy when Maeroße he buys himslef that house in the Sout h of France he wants.

Eh bien. Maerohyse he must go now, he needs to the South of France to drive. He cannot wait to his new Rollys Roice test out! It's five hundred and seventy nine miles to Nice, Maerose has a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and Merhyse is wearing sunglasses. Hit it, mes amis!