TRAPPED!!!!

MES AMIS!!! Muiearhyse he is most destressed. He in the lift was trapped last night during teh large scale power cut out that in Sidney happeninated!! Muirrhøsé, he sure is that this a conspiracy was that designed to target Muîrrhoswe personnaly was. But MuÂŒ„Íhfxse, he will NOT be intimitadated!

Eh bien, he to his birthday praty tomorrow much looks forward. So many guests, so many people admiring that geynius that is Maerowse!!! He has not heard back from anyone other that Ratatoskr, but he is sure that Muérhose his freinds will come -- Even his bon ami M. Kevin Rudd.

See you there, mes amis!!!!1!

Safe to read -- NOT from Maurice le genie!

Well, seems like I'm taking Maurice's place -- sitting around in an airport, waiting for a 'plane. But fear not, "mes amis", Ratatoskr isn't planning to become another Maurice. Help no! I'm just en route to Australia, to catch up with Maurice for his birthday.

Well you may ask why's a squirrel so keen to get to the birthday of that so-called "geynius". Well, apparently he'll be opening some of his new old bottles of Penfolds Grange. Can't let it be wasted on someone like Maurice can we? Duty beckons. Once more unto the breach, etc, etc. Hope he has acorns too.

Also, won't be flying "Atterrissage Forcé, unlike that Maurice I actually fly with a REAL airline. Air New Zealand this time. Business class ain't too bad. Good enough for this immortal squirrel!!

Then back to Norway. Just hope he likes his new 2CV...

Planning a birhtday praty for MJIRHUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mes amis, Muiriowse has a small "wine cellar" for his Sidney apratment madeinated -- weill, mes amis, it more a small room is, not an cellar. Still he has spent teh day filling it with bottels of Penfolds Grange.

He also has been around as many whine shops as he can find, and filed it wiht the choice of teh SUDNAY whine world

This it not as dramatic as his cellar in his chateau in teh south of france is

but it still much good is. It much good for his birthday will be, which lucky is becaue Mujriwse his birhtday will be in a few DAYS TIME, mes amis!

Well, Mijwrise has many people for his birthdya party invited over. Including his bon amis Nicholas Sarkozy and Silvio Burlosconi. Also, he Ratattatatoskr and Aglie has invitinated. He hope they all to his party most magnifique will come! He thinks that this, his 46ht birthday praty a TRIOMPHE will be!

Wish him luck, mes amis!!

Two Steam Horses

Muaejwryse he has on the tellyphone with Ratatataoskr spoken. Ratatoskra has Muiirhuwse his new car to Muiiwrise his Italian castle delivered. You may rember that when Muirowse he he thought that he was bank rupt, he a new LADA himself bought. Well, it turns out he needs it not -- or maybe he does, it for around teh estate will be good to drivinate, on teh dirt tracks and fields where his Lamborghini it no good is.

Also, Muirroise found he a slight mistake made and did not a LADA NIVA buyinate, he a Citroën 2CV boughtinate. It seem that Mirowse he somehow managed to on teh worng car bidinate on eBay.es.

 

Ah well, it much fun arround his estate to drivinate will be. And Ratatatatatatoskr has said that he will at teh car look, and for problems mechannical look and them solvinate which for Muiiwworuse a great favour will be as even though Mirose a greyte geynius is his genyis it does NOT streatch as far as ADVANCED CAR MAINTENANCE, mes amis. Aeroplanes, maybe. But not cars.

Singed Papers

Mes amis, teh papers tehy are signed by Muirrhwøse the geynius, and the formalitlies they are all having been done. Muîrhowse his inheritance it is secured!

Muiirowjse on teh way back for a coffee to cellebrate stoppinated. It was a feeling most weird, mes amis, knowing that for this Mjwryse would with HIS OWN MUNY have to payinate. It most destressing for Muwråse was!!! HE almost with his muny could not bear to part!!! But alas, even such a grat geynius as Muirose will with this have to learn to bear.

Eh bien, that is enough for today. Your bon ami Muirrowse, he much tired from his KILLER JET LAG is. He will more tomoorrow right.

Finally arrivinated in Sidney

Well, Muirrhyse has arrivinated in Australia after again fllying with Atterrissage Forcé. Well, wonce again Muirrhyse he killer jet lag has!!

First, eh went to pick up his Maserati Quatrroporte, and tehn to his apartment new in Sydney went to drive. But alas! This proved harder than previously anticipated.

Muirhyse, he sat down in teh drivers seet. But he much confused was! There was no steering wheeel, no pedals, no speed o meter or rev o meter dials, NOTHING mes amis!!! Then, after much thought and reading the entire owners manual, Muirowse he noticed that all of this, it was on the right hand seet! THEN he rembered, this, this is where these things are stored in Australiaian cars!! Lucky Muirhyse such a great geynius is, or there no hope for him would have been!

Once Muirrhyse had this figured out, he could drive to his new apartment which JUST near teh Opera Hosue is.

Well, Muirrhyse he decideded to the Eastern Distributor road take. But alas!! The drivers here, they know not how to drive! Even on teh motor way he kept meeting lots of oncoming traffic -- they kept trying to drive on teh left hand side of teh road!!! Still, at least teh Sidneysiders much glad to meet Murrhose were -- they kept blowing their horns in greeting at him, as he down teh motor way crusied at a leisurely 180km/h. (Leisurely,, except for Muuirese having to dodge all teh oncoming traffic -- drive on the right, peoples!).

Well, he in his new apratment now is, and it much beautiful is mes amis!! He wery pleased with it is. Tomororw he picks up his Jaguar XKR, and meets this lawyer to sign the documents that will get Muirrhyse his inheritance and saveinate him!!

HORRAY!! SAVEINATED!!

Muirrhyse!!! HE IS SAVED!!!!! SAVED, I TELLS YOU!!!!!!!!1!

Okay, mes amis, I will now down calm.

Ahem.

Well, mes amis, Muiirrhowse was eating a modest lunch of caviar and larks tounges with truffles in foie gras and honey sauce, when he a phone call was interuppted by. Aparently, he a great Uncle had in Argentina had! And sadly, Muirrhyse had never known of or even met his Great Uncle Pedro. And yet he to his gret nephew Muirhyse left his fortune and his properties in Argentina, Spain and America.

Oui, c'est vrai! Muirrhuse has once again been saved. Now he can his debts all pay off, and he many new desirable hosues has. In Argentina, he has an apartment in Buenos Aires and a substantial estate in the countryside. He will there have to go soon very soon.

But first he must the lawyer meet and speak wiht. Apparently this law firm they also offices in Sidney has. Murrhise agreed to meet them there, and sign the forms they need as formalalaitys.

Muirrrhose cannot wait. He to Sudney flies out tomorrow. WISH HIM LUCK!!!!

Lada NIVA - The NEW car of CHOICE for MUIRHO∫E teh GEYNIUS

Mes amis, Muirrhuse has on to eBay.fr logged on to, and has found himself a Lada Niva foure wheel driven car to replace his Rolls Royce, Bugatti and Lamborghini cars.

Bit of a come down for our great Geynius Miow®hoße, mes amis, quite a bit of a come down from his Ferrari --- but what can he do? Mon ami Capitan (non, mon ex-ami le Capitan) said his credit cards could no longer use -- so Murrhüøsåe must his own money use. And of that he has not much!!

Eh bien, this car new it will be of much service for Müriyse to arround his vineyard new drivinate. And he will be able to much money make selling his Castello di Maurice wine and olives, from his new country estatate in ITalia.

Muirrhowse has for teh car wiht pay pal just payinated. ANd now his bon ami Ratatoskr will collect it for him, and to Muirrhywße's new home in Itali it drive. And then he will able be to Muiirhuse help his old cars sellinate. Watch eBay.it, mes amis, watch eBay.fr!!

Woe is Meuwrose!

Muirrhyse, he is not certain what to do! The catatsorophy most catistrofieck that Muiirhyse has it, it is catatatstroetirophic! Even for such a great geynisu as Muirrhuse, he not certain what to do is!

Mes amis, he is not certain which of his hosues in Europe to sellinate. Maybe he should his new castel in Italy keep, at least from this he can some muney make by selling teh wine and teh olives that he will at this new hosue grow. But what of his apartment most beautiful in Paris? Or his chateau in teh south of France! Oh mes amis, it really is too much for Murrrowse to bear!!

Also, he will have to his new Lamborghini most beleoved trade in for
another Lada. And all his other cars, he will them have to sellinate too!

Also, who will pay for his new book to be published? It is not cheap, mes amis! Le publisher de Maurice, M. Garamond, is wery suportive of teh great geynisu that is Muirrowse, but even so he must Muaerowse much muney charge to his books publish -- that is publishing, mes amis, that is publishing.

Eh bien, do not worrry my raeders. Muirrhowse will of something thinkk -- do not worry yourselfs! It may be a hard challenge, but MUIEAEROWYESE is a great GEYNIUS. ANd a GREAT GEYNIUS as that CAN DO ANYTHING!!

Cataistriophie most catastrofic!

Mes amis, THE WORST it has happened!! Muirrhyse was just his own busines minding, sitting in teh kitchen of his new country villa near Rhome, when he heard a melliflopter landing outside. Then someone the kitchen door kicked in.

Miurrhy'ses old friend Capt Jerrold von Obiwankanobe walked through the door, along with about a dozen commandos of the US Army. "Well, Muirrhyse", he said. "Pleased to meet you onse again. Let me introduce you - my friends here are members of DELTA force, and will be happy to answer any of your questions, should you be stupid enough to ask any."

Well, mes amis, Muiirhowse he was not happy. But it got wrose, mes amis, much wrose. Apparently, teh Capitan did mind Muirrhise using his credit cards and taking out loans for him. Muaerhowse ttried to explain that it should not matter, as Murrhese a great geynius is but M. le Captain he wod not listen.

M. le Kapitan, he said that he would have to seize Muirrhyses properties. He said he would graciously allowe Murrihyse to keeep one (1) house in Europe and one (1) hosue in Australiaialia, but NO MORE. Of course, to this Muirrhyse objected most severly! He tried to remain calm, and civil, but it wery hard was given the stress and the provication. Still, the soldiers did not have to respond like that - just becuse Muirrhyse had hit one of them over the head with the kitchen table, and tried to steal the gun of another so he could it use to hit them on the head with - there was no call for them to threaten to shoot!

Mes amis, MUIRRHYSE he is not sure what to do now. HE has only two weeks to PAY UP all his debts to the good Capitan and the CIA, or loose his hosues most precious. Also, he can no longer his credit cards that he from the Capitan borrowed use.

Oh noes!!! Soon Murrihse will wonce again a penniles geynius be, reducced to once more dirving around in his Lada Riva!!!

Update - Bought porperty in Italy!!!

Well, as pormised Mes Amis, Muirrhowse said he would keep you date to up!! And so,, he will!!

He has finally agreed to buyinate a APARTMENT in RHÔME, and a VILLA in GENZANO DI ROMA, a Castelli di Roma Village.

Mes amis, these new hosues are most most beautiful and Muirowse he cannot beleive it still! Ah, mes amis, but it is true!

Here are some photos of Muirrhowse his villa in Genzano di Roma:

 

 

The castle itself, it, it was built by teh Knights Templar in the 11th century being buildinated! Muirrowse is sure it a history most fantastique has, and he it cannot wait to explorinate. And this new hosue most maqnifique set back Muiirowse a mear €1,500,000 !!!

Yes, there ARE vineyards and OLIVE orchards on the estate most grande of Muirrhowse de Perfossor! So, mes amos, soon you will be drinkign Chateau Maurice wine, able to taste teh genius of MAUROESE!!

In addition, Muirrhose a most beautiful 4 bedroom apartment near teh centre of Rhôme managed to buy for only €7,600,000! MEs amis, it has everyting! Even all teh floor boreds have been hand painted! It sure good of Mon Ami M. Le Captain to agree for Muiirhowse to all this pay for!

 

 

Mes amis, Muiirrhwse is now going to into his new country villa move into. He will you keep updated, mes amis, he will much informed keep you!!!!

When in ROme,... Buy an Apartment in Sydney!!!

Whilst Muirrrrrrrrrrrhyyyyeeeese he has in Rome been, do not think he has forgot the other place he a gap in his porperty portfolio thought he had -- SYDNEY. Ah yes, mes amis, even from Rhome he has been able to negotiatiate the purchase of a sidney apartment most magnifique -- an apartment suitable for the great geynius that is Morose!.
Mes amis, feast your eyes on the new Sydnay apratment de Muriuse:

http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?a=o&id=105504041&f=0&p=10&t=res&ty=&fmt=&header=&cc=&c=73412457&s=nsw&snf=rbs&tm=1237170825

 

 

 

Floor plan (would be burglers, please dont look!!!!) 

(Images reproduced from realestate.com.au)

This just about perfect for Muirrhyse is. ALso, he notes it secure parking for two cars has. Although Maeroswe two cars in Australia already has, they not good enough for his new Sidnoy home are. They are 4WHEEL DROVE cars, and perfect for life in teh provinces (Paris, NSW, Australia) but not for teh sofisticated life of Sidnay. Muirose, he sure is that NOBODY, but NOBODY drives four wheel droven cars in Sidniy.

So Muiirhyse also has ordered himself:

• a Jaguar XKR 2 door 2 seater sports car
• a Maserati Quattroporte Sport GTS wiht Paddle Shif Gear Box 4 door 4 seater luxury car

 

LSDSL/Wikipedia

Dan Smith/Wikipedia

(Except OBVIOUSLY in Sadnuy teh car it will right hand dirve be...)

He much excited is, and will them test out next time in Sudnoy is!!

Arrived in Rhome, Later than Planned

Muiirhyse, he arrived in Rhome has albeit later than planned he had to. According to his GPS, this, this is the route taken by Muirhese:


View Larger Map

Stupid GPS. Muioriuse, he is a greater geynius.

Still, Muiirrhyse he enjoyed visiting Gdańsk. And Oslo. And Gdańsk.

Lunch

In Wien for lunch!! Be in Rhôme soon... I wait cannot, mes amis, wait cannot!!!

For lunch, Muirruse he is enjoying Wiener schnitzel and Sachertorte with LOTS of coffee mes amis - LOTS of coffee.

Ah, here comes Merwrose his next cofee...

Breakfast on teh run....

Wow! Muirrhise he is now able to experience teh glory that is Rhôme -- and just in time for breakfast, mes amis! So many beautiful and hysteric buildings! So many cafe-lined squares so elegant!! It is in such as squire that muirrrhuse he is now sitting, enjoying a breakfast most leaisurely.

Hold on mes amis!! This sign, it says that Muirrhyowse he in Gdańsk is, not Rhôme. So that, it explains why everyone Polish is speaking, not Italian! Dobrze, że wyjaśnia wszystko!

Well, moi znajomi, Muirrhyse must now finish his espresso and into his Lamborghini get, and see if to Rhôme by lunch time he can it make... Życz mu szczęścia, moim przyjaciołom i lojalni czytelnicy! Σύντομα θα πρέπει να είναι στη Ρώμη...

In Oslo

How did that happen?? Muirrhise, he is certain that OSLO, it is not meant to be on teh way for him from Armidale in France to Rhôme in Italia. This is quite odd, mes amis, quite odd.

Still, Muirrhyse must keep dirving. SO tired, but must keeep on.

Right. Ignition on, car into first gear, and put le foot de Muirrhyse down on teh accelerelerator. And get teh car back up to 200mph as quickly as possible...

Driving break

Muirrhose he has for a coffee stopped somewhere near - er, what does that sign it say - near Lisboa. He still on his way to Rhôme is, and is much looking forward to there getting. He will be meeting with his publisher M. Garamond also whilst in Rhome, luckily he also is visiting that city now.

M. Garamond was Muiirrhese asking how he could these many hosues afford to buyinate!! Simple, mon ami, wery simple. Firstly, he has many kredit kards which he from M. le Captain Jerrold von Obiwankanobe got when the Kaptains bag Muirrhuse he borrowed. He will also be able to use the Captains documents to get a loan -- he is certain that the Kaptain he will not mind for such a geynius as Miurrhose to this do. After all, he has only complained once -- and that was just to chocolate cake offer.

ALso, he has his share of the US$35million he helped the fiendly M. J. Oke move out of Benin on behalf of le African Non-Monetary Articulate Albatross Bank (ANMAAB). That was quite a bit, mes amis, quite a bit!!!

Ah, le temps! Le temps!! Muirrhyse must his espresso finish, and in his Lamborghini get, and continue dirving south. At 200mph, it should not long take!!!!!!!!

Dirving to Rhôme

Mes amis, Merece is JUST about to get into his V12 Lamborghini Murciélago, and to Roam drivinate... When there, he will many hosues and aparments viewinate, and buy one .... or MAYBE two

WISH HIM LUCK, MES AMIS!!!!

What Muirhyse is missing still.....

Well, mes amis, Muirrrhyse was sitting at his kitchen table in his hosue in Armidale, France and he was starting to be thinking about all the houses he owns (his "Property potfolio" as Ratatoskr it calls).

He has

in France -

• A château near Arles in teh South of France
• A château near Armidale in teh North of France
• An appartment on Rue Mouffetarde in Parys

In his homeland, Austaliaia:

• A modest hosue in his dear little town of Paris, New South Wales
• Err... Thats about it. Maybe he should a hosue in Sydney also buy???

Ah! But raeding trhough this list, MUIRHHYSEE has noticed an OVERSITE for a GEYNIUS of HIS LEVEL!!!! He, he does not an apartment in Rome have! This, it must be fixed imeadiatley! So naturally Muirrowse to Google races.

This appartment would be PERFECT for Muirrhyse, and costs only €6,500,000. It three bedream is, and is in Centro Storico, Rome.
http://www.propertyinrome.com/propertyview.asp?prop=73

(Photos reproduced from propertyinrome.com)

Also, this it for Mioiuruse teh geynius would be prefect: a Campo di Fiori penthouse!! It only €3,200,000! And it has a patio graden! PERFECT for inviting his bon amai Aglie around!
http://www.accomodationsrome.com/apartment_detail.asp?ID=2944

(Photos reproduced from accomodationsrome.com)

OR this villa most charming, in teh Castelli Romani region - whit vine yar d and OLIVE trees, mes amis. Yes, it is correct!! IF Muiirowse he this got, soon you could be dirnking Chateau Muirowse -- ah what new tihngs such a great genyus could to whine production bring!!!!
http://www.propertyinrome.com/propertyview.asp?prop=59

 

 

(Photos reproduced from propertyinrome.com)

Hmmm.... Maybe he is liking teh idea of a villa in teh countryside wery much. Or MAYBE he a town apartment needs, AND a country villlalala -- with VIENYARD and OLIVE TWEE GROVE....

Also, now he in ITALY will be living, he needs some cars ITALIAN to his collection to add, so Muirhse when he in rome is he will Italianan cars to drivinate will have. So, this mroning he has bought himself

• a Lamborghini Murcielago LP 670-4 SuperVeloce 2 seat manual V12
• an Alfa Romeo GT 3.2 V6
• a Ferrari FXX

Teh LAMBORGHINIININI:

 

 

Well, Muirhyse will more about his new houses(eses) in ROME -- and his new cars itallian -- tell you much more soon. Stay tuned, mes amis, stay tunred!!!!!

Le CALENDAR of MUIORWSE...

Mauryhjses callendar is now ON LINE!!!

http://cid-f226c1f84d8da0d2.calendar.live.com/calendar/Maurice+de+Perfossor/index.html

Also, Muirrhyse has been raeding the magnifique book 'War and Pease' in the ORIGINAL ETRUSCAN!!!! He is enjoying it much. It in teh ORIGINAL ETRUSCAN much better than in translation to ENGLISH or FRENCH or LATIN or RUSSIAN is. His only problem so far is that he cannot translate this sentense, even with his dictionary:

Морис это глупо мошенничество

Once he is finished this, he is going to be lookinng forward to starting reading 'Pridge and Prejudice' in the original Eteocypriot.

Dinner with Mon Ami M. Agliè - not a triumphe for MUIORWSE

Well, mes amis, Muirohyse he has been putting it off. But he can pit it off no longer! He promiced his raeders most loyal that he a full account of his dinner with his bon ami Agliè would here post. But alas, it well did not go.

Teh evening it started well, Mon Ami Aglie was wery happy to again see Miorwse and we had much to discuss. Muiirowse had Aglìè to Muirrowses home most beauitful in Armidale, France for dinner around had invited him. As normal, Aglie was impeccably dressed in a double-brested pin striped suit. This, it sets off his grey hair and his gold rimmed glasses in a manner which is most magnifique. Almost magnifique, but not as marvellous as MUIORWSE!!! Muirose the 1978 Château Margaux got out, and Agliè he this very much liked.

We spoke once more about our topic most favourite, teh Knights Templars. Aglie, he told me that the Templars had a plan made, which would last 600 years and conclude this century. They were a message most mysticall together putting together, with meetings between different groups once every hundred years. Each only knew how to contact the next group of Templars in teh list, but alas it all fell arpart. Teh secret in some map is hidden. Aparently, some people anything would do to this map get -- Muirrose thinks maybe even Aglie would, though this he would not admit. Muirowse told him more about teh secret templars map he pretendinates to have, and discussed the Templar/Rossicrucian plot behind digestive biscuits. To Muirowse, it all seemed to be going well.

Alas, things they went down hill wery badly when Mirrwose he the main course out got -- vegemite on toast. Muirowse, he served this up wiht teh 1965 Château Cheval Blanc. Aglie, he did not with this seem much happy. But then he smiled, and said "Aah! Chocolate spread! My favourite! Not exactly what I was expecting, but still..." Muirowse wondered whether to him correct: it was not chocolate spread, it was vegemite! But then mon bon ami Aglie picked up a peice of toast so enthusiastically, Muirrowse him did not want to discourage.

When Agly into teh toast bit into it, he looked surprised, then shocked, then disgusted. "What is wrong with this chocolate spread?" he of Muiriwse enquired, and Miorwhyse was able to inform him informationally that it not chocolate spread was, it vegemite was. Aglie he was not very pleased. He with a agate lidded gold and silver snuffbox he from his vest pocket had removed fidddled. He most agitated looked. Apparently, he a proper meal with fine French foods had expected. Well, Muirhyse had sort of hinted that this is what he woudl provide -- but still!! Such limits do not to a geynius like Moirrese apply.

Still, Muirroswe decided to the desert to skip. He got out the 1958 Château Ausone got to drink whilst Muirrhyse he the €5 Pavlova from teh fridge got out and on a plate put. With this desert most deligthful, Muirrhyse a 1851 Château d'Yquem Premier Cru Supérieur Sauternes got out to have. Aglie with teh SAUTERNE most delighted was, but not with the PAVLOVA.

Muiirhyse looked around for something extra to the dinner save. And then he saw it! On the book case of his living room - a bottle of 1929 Moët & Chandon Cuvée Dom Perignon Brut Millésimé! Just the thing Muirrowse needed! Also, he to teh fridge went and got a selection of finest French cheses to with it have! Muirowse these brought out to Aglie, and he most impressed was. Muirrwse was just about to take the top off the CHAMPAGNE, when alas! Catastrophy! THe worst, it happened! THe champagne bottle sniggered briefly, and then scuttled off teh table and ran out of the room. The Champagne, it was NOT REAL! IT was the CHAMELEON! Muiowryse had this champagne so wanted to try, that now he will have to a bottle of it buy!!! Also, Aglie most dissapointed was, so he will with him have to share it.

Luckily, then Muirrowse realised that they had not finished teh 1851 Château d'Yquem Premier Cru Supérieur Sauternes. Muirrowese and Aglie, they then the rest of this finished. Then Muiirowse another bottled of the 1851 d'Yquem got, and it also was finished. Muirrowse cannot after this much rememeber.

But alas, he does that the evening a disaster was remememebr. A DISASTER, mes amis! Even for a GEYNIUS such as MUIEAORYSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANd it not MUIROWSEs fault was, no. It was all beyond his control. He wonders what he will do to things make better next time....

Teh AUTHORISED SELF PORTRAIT de MUIROWSE by MIORHWSE

Behold!

Attend, ye citizenry, and revel in teh GLORY of the new solf portrait most GLORIUS of Miowrause by Merise!!!!