Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Not again, mes amis.......

Well, mes amis, Mweruise he is now OUT of Melborne at high speed dirvinating, just to make this wobleg post stopping. Mes amis, it seems that the polis here also in teh control of teh Templars are!! Just as Miuerÿse was just starting to a few promising leads about teh templars get, he was by teh polis wonce again over pulled.

They said something about "escaping custody" and "arrest warrent" when they Mjueruse recognised, these must Templar things be!! Luckily Mueruse managed to get away. he pretended (again) that his dirving licence was in his car's glovebox, and when he back into his car got to "retreive it", he instead away at high speed drove. Phew! What a Lucky Escape for M. Murise!!

Well, mes amis, Mërhuse he is now heading for his old home Town of Paris, Australia. He is certain that THERE,, THERE the polis will not have by teh Templars have been infiltrated!

Monday, 26 October 2009

Finally arrivinated in Melborke

Mes amis, Mjewrhyse after such a long dirve he has FINALLY in Malborne arrivinated. mes amis, Mwrwçe he such a bad time in Adelaïde had, where Templars posing as Polis Men him tried to arrestinate!!! On fake, made up charges!!!1! But luckily, Miueruyse a geynius is, and so was away able to get.

Well, mes amis, Mwerwise is certain he much exciting things about teh Templar conspiracies will in Malbork find. Melbourne, it is a city of Templars! As it named after Malbork in Poland is, it MUST be. Fear not , mes amis , Mweruse will keep you postinated about his inciting discoveriesese!

Monday, 19 October 2009

Free! Escapinated!!!

Mes amis, Mwereuises audacious escape plan has to fruitiion come!! HE is FREE!!!

Well, mes amis, your correspondent most magnifique was sitting in his polis cell thinking about teh Templar plot that had brought him there mostly unjustly on flase charges (stealing a truck, dirving wihtout a lisesnse, speeding, assualitng a polis officer). These all rubbish were, and non-true!!! But such a grate geynius as Meruise would not the Templars let win! No, mon ami!! Mjerrouse just looked in his pockets, and found some string, some sugar, some tinfoil, some salt, and some ammonium phosphate fertiliserr (he plans to do some gardening when he gets back to Paris, Australia!!!). With tthese, he was able to make a small explosive devise, which he used to blow a hole in the wall. He was promptly then promptly able to promptly escape promptly.

Well, mes amis, Mwiioruse for a bit ran to away get. But this, it not suited for such a grate geynius is!! Miuwrüse would have liked to buy another Mack truck, but alas this, it not possible was. So as a second best, Meårhyse a Pickup Truck himself bought. To be precise, he a HSV Maloo himself bought. With this, he much pleased is.

The salesperson said to Meruise that "this car, it can to 271.444km/h acceleratinate, which much impressive is. Not that you'll be diriving that fast on teh road, eh?". ANd Mirrîse laughted and agreed that no, he would not be! But then when he drove out of teh car dealer shop at 140km/h, he thinks teh dealer would have got the impression that in fact Maerose WAS at 271.444km/h going to be dirvinating!!! But sadly, so far only to 270.00km/h have so far gottinated.

Mes amis, Mwerrose is now to MElbrone dirving. He must hit teh road again!!@!


MEs amis, bad news!!! Your bold corrrespondant, Mwrhyçe de Perfosswr, has arrestinated been by teh Polis in Adelaïde, South Australaialaialia!

But first, teh details. Mes amis, Merrhyse has much about a secret Templar cell in Adelaïde been out findinating. He even managed to infiltrate teh Masons head quaters, and there found out much that was wery interesting. But the polis here, they must be under teh control of teh feindish Templars!!! This afternoon, whilst Muarhywse was around Adeláïde drivinating, he was by teh Polis pulled up.

They claimed he was "speeding" becuase he was at 120km/hour drivinating, even though this much slow is. THEY claimed that Mwroyse should at 50k/hour driving been, but this, it rediculous is!!! Then they looked on their comptutor, and claimed that the truck that Merrôse dirving was was STOLEN! They it claimed it stolen from Sydney airport had been some weeks ago!!!1! Well, Mweriouse camly tried to explain that it his truck was, and that it at Sudney airport had been for him left instead of Mowerhyse his Lamborghini due to a Mix Up, but alas they would not Merewse beleive.

THEN, they asked to see Muiwrrhyse his "dirvers lisence". Still, Merwwyse remained wery calm. That polise man had no excuse for trying to punch Mwerrhyse back. He explained that he, as a geynius, did not NEED a dirvers liccense, but alas they him would not beleive but instead him arrestinated. At this point, I (Mwrwuyse) realised that this, it must a TEMPLAR plot be. The TEMPLARS will stop at NOTHING, NOTHING mes amis to STOP mjewruse form them exposing. STill, teh polis did not THAT annoyed have to get, Merruse only slightly punched and bit one of teh polis offisers, and only one (1) of the polise cars was beyond repair demaged!

But do not fear, my bon amis. Mwerewwrse a BOLD PLAN for escapinating has, and will blog more when he free wonce again is!!!1!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Morriçe in Adelaïde!

Mes amis, as you all might from my Twitter-based Tweet (or on Faceboook) Mhuwryse arrivinated in Adelaïde on teh 12th, and now several days here has spent.

But do not think that Murryse has just spent his time eating at teh art gallery cafe or drinking cofee on Melbroune straet -- he much inwestigating has been doing! Teh templars, they much active in Adelâïde are, & Mjewrhyse teh geynius will a full account of their plotting & planning will make.

Myruçe this wery difficult thought it would be , but it is not!! They do not hide them selves much here. There even a Masonic Lodge on North Terrace is!!! IN public view!! Incredible. Mirrhuse KNOWS That teh Templars must meet there, so he will try to it infiltrate.

More soon, mes amis.........

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Graetings form Perth

Well, mes amis, Mhwrÿse was just beginning to get used to this "Daylight Shavings" thing in Coober Pedy. Just, though it still not good is. Well, he now in Perth is. What a drive it so far has been! Merriçe, he did not rememember that teh dirve from Sindey to Melbourne, it so long was!!1! Still, Mÿrouwçe he sure is that he in Melbroune will wery soon now be.

Anyway, he enjoying his dirve much has been, and he has teh Truck been likinating. he thinks that this, maybe it he will keep!!! He thinks it a wery good way for a geynius like Mjeruuse to around get is.

Mes amis, teh ONE , little porblem Mwaruise has been havingk is to remember whether in Australialaial they on teh right or teh left hand side of teh road drivinate? A trivial detail for a geynius like Merese, but one which bothers him still. Still, for teh moment he alternating between teh two is. ONE of them, it right has to be!!

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Driving from Sudney to Melbrourne....

Mes amis, Mhwrujse he currently is from Sudney to Melbrone drivinating. And yes, he still a TRUCK is drivinating, as his Maserati it not at the airport waiting for him was. But Mÿrÿhse, he finds he is almost enjoying a truck drivinating! He is sitting up wery high, watching teh scenery flash past and listening to teh non-geyniuses chatter on teh CB Radio. Almost fun, mes amis, even for a geynius like Mwruise. For some raison, Mjerowse feels he should teh trukc stop & get out & buy a plaid shirt and a baseball cap. This, it much chic would be. But alas, their time is not!!! And berets, they Mur®üse suit better.

Alas, teh trafic here is wery, wery slow still Mjewrowse has managed to dirve at at least 170km/h for most of teh trip so far. At one point he thought he a porblem wiht teh truck had, when he started seeing blue flashing lights in teh rear vision mirror and heard a weird wirring noise. But what ever teh problem was, Mjerrouse knows not. It quickly disappeared after he spead up to 250km/h for a bit. SO whatever teh problem was, at least it temprorroary was and away just went.

Car woes

Well, mes amis, Mjerhowse has in Sudney arrivinated, and has just teh hairyport left. Mjerüse had to teh plane flyinate for much of teh way, and kept forgetting what buttons in teh cockpit did. But ewentually he rememememebered. AND he able to land teh plane much safely & smoothly was, and teh passengers they all Mjerose clapped.

TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.

But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:

Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.

WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!

Thursday, 1 October 2009

This is your capitain speaking....

Well, earlier Mhwrÿse he too soon spoke. He joked that maybe they would him teh plane ask to flyinate!! But then, both teh Pilot AND teh Co Pilot, they teh Bœuf bourguignon for lunch had, and now tehy BOTH food poisoning have. As does any body else who was not as wise as Mjerüse, who teh Bouillabaisse had.

Well, mes amis. No time for more blogging or twitterittering. Mheruse has a plane full of people to fly! Wish him luck!!! Not that he it needs, he anything can do as he a GEYNIUS is.

Flying Atterrissage Forcé

Well, this flight so far it much good has been & wery uneventful which good is.

Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.

Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.

Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!

Mejrÿße le geynius, blogging LIVE from his FLIGHT to AUSTRALAIALAI!

Mes amis, Mjerhise is EVEN NOW in flight to Australiaialialai. It seems , that as part of a bid to "make Atterrissage Forcé seem as if it were a safe, comfortable, modern airline" (to their PR material quoteinate) they have now free WIFI internat on their hairyplanes have installinated. And about this Mjereuse much glad is.

Well, he on his way home to Australiaiailaialialailailllailailaia is. And wonce he is there, in Melborne & Adelaide he will for secret Templar cells look. As it a much delicate & secret operation is, he will LIVE updates by twitter be sendininating! Rember Mjerÿhse his twitter user name: it @mauricelegenie is!!1!

After this, he to his hosue in Paris, Australialia will for several weeks go for a nice relaxing rest, before to Paris going & a few weeks in his cosy flat on Rue Mouffetard spending. At teh moment, he is thinking he will not go back to his Castel in Italy until next January, he wants to Christmas in teh South of France spendinate.

WELL, Mjerhyuse he must stop typing as now teh brake fast teh air stewardesese are around bringing. Looks like it coffee and croissants is. Mjerwse, he hopes that his croisssants arent burnt & too hot and his coffee weak & too cold are, like that gentleman in teh row in fron of him....