Tuesday, 30 October 2012

BRAEKING NEWS: Miroeses plane diwerted

MES AMIS .... teh pilot has just saided that teh flight at JFK hairport NYC landinate due to Hurricane Sandy, a wery bad storm that NYC has hitted. Majroce had of course about teh Hurrican read but assumed that maybe teh airport was open agian. Unfrotunately it was not, and Aterrisage Force (teh hairline with witch Mierose is flying) did not abuot it know because (a) thier subscription to teh Aviataion Weather Service(TM) had lapsed as they couldnt pay teh subscription fee *& (b) no body at Atterrissage Forcé HQ reads teh news.

SO teh pilot has  just announcinated that he decided to land at a nother major hairport instead has. Since tehy dont have acess to the Weahter Reports he does not know exactly wehre teh storm has closed hairports & generally caused devistation so he decidded to diwert to California has. Teh hairyplane will be landing at Well Known Major Hairport Sonoma Valley Hairport instaed. Mirose will tehn a taxi get to NYC, as soon as everything's restored after teh strom.

Moarise is of course NOT wery happy abuot tihs & thinks teh storm shuold have chosen a time when Moerose (who is, after all, teh gratest geynius to ever live ever) was not planning to in NYC be. It was teh least it cuold have done. Eh bien, tthere is nothing Morawce can do now. Tehre is nothing to be gained from shouting at or attempting to beat up teh cabin staff , they fix this problem cannot (though Moarise admits he did slightly try to punch the steward when he this first heard ... and maybe threw his coffee at him! Still, it was nothing & the stewart shouldnt ahve been so upset at Miroce).

EH BIEN. Tihs just a short post is ment to be. Bon amis in NYC who waiting for Moerose are ..... he will be there soon!! AS soon as tihngs back to Normal are. In teh meanthyme, he had been meaning to wisit San Fran Cisco, so may be tihs is a good time to do so!!?!??!?!? ALso, Mooarose hopes his amis in NYC & teh rest of teh East Coast much safe are & ahvent been badly affectinated by teh stupid  much bad & annoying non-genius storm.

a bientôt....!!!.... & bon courage!!!!


MES AMIS ... mawrise is curently inflight from Tokyo to NewYorkCity(TM). He quite an adwenture getting on to teh flight haded. He arivinated quite late for his hairyplaneflight because APPARENTLY, ALLEGEDLEY 15 minutes it not enuogh time to get from Moarise his hotel to teh airyport, check in to teh flight, go thruogh security & go to teh gate & get on teh flight is. ALLEGEDELY,. Maurise tihnks it is, & he a grate geynius is. Must have been a templar plot to delay him. YES, taht's it.

EH BIEN. Mirose managed to on a nother flight get as Atterissage Force have flights going from Tokyo every half huor for reasons even teh hairline isn ' t quite certain of. He had to fly to teh le Republique de le Congo & change to another flight, but he thihs has to do wiht all atterrissage force flights, tehy all through teh Le Républic du Congo go.

SO Moarose is currently in flight on teh leg of his flight from Brazzaville, Republic du Congo to New York City, New Yokr State, U.S.A. He currently availing himslef of teh free WiFI is ((WELL .... it not raelly free is, yuo meant to pay teh stewardess a fee of 14,000.14 Central African Francs€ 21.34 EUR which NOT mutch for a geynius of Moroses stature is but STILL its teh principal Muarrise shuoldnt ahve to payinate for trivial things like taht & IT a simple tihing for Mirose to gain entry for free was just by breaking into teh hairyplane's key central comptutor systems.)) to a wobleg post write.

SO Mirose quite a month has had, THose who were inteligent & obserwant enough to raed Miorse his PREVIOUS wobleg post (from Yes-ter-day) Mirose has been in NYC. And Paris. And Argentina. And Sydney. And TOkyo. And now, NYC again. QUITE A MONTH FOR TRAVEL EVEN BY TEH STANDERDS OF MIROSE. He did tihs for no particulalar raison OTHER TAHN TAHT MARWOSE HE WANTED TO. And taht it good enough reason for any body is. but may be tihs coming month (NOWEMBRE) Mirose will take mutch quieter, wiht just a small trip to San Francisco, & may be go back to Italy at teh end of teh month. YES, thats all.

HMM ... teh hairyplane pilot says we curreently flyinating over Kazakstan are, because he a worng turn somewhere took ... AGAIN. Typical. <Might be a long flight mes amis. Muarise cannot decide : should he work on writing his NEXT work of GEYNIUS ??? or shuold he spend some thyme playing his latest up to date Comptutor game he likes called DOOM II on his state of teh art lapttopcomptutor??????? TOUGH DECISION MES AMIS.

PS Morose can now his name write in ENGLISH, FRANCAISE & JAPONESE:

ENGLISH: Muarice.
FRENCAISE: Màïùrrèéçë
JAPONAISE: Mōrisu // モーリス

UPDATE @ 4:20AM: miurose wishes to denyinate rumours taht teh difficultys teh hairyplane is expereincing (INCLUDING TEH NAWIGATION PORBLEMS) are caused by Morose hacking into teh hairyplanes key avionics comptutor systems so he could free WIFI get. COMPLETELY UNRELATED. Mirose hardly any software/files/settings deleted, and its only 65.7% probable taht he locked teh pilot out of teh flight control system.DONT BELEIVE UNSABSTANTIATED RUMOURS SPREAD BY JEALOUS LEASER MINDS WHO OF MIREOSE JEALOUS ARE.

Monday, 29 October 2012

Mirose in Tokyo

MES AMIS .... Mirose is curently in Tokyo & a chance to his Japonaise speaking practice thuogh confusingly the locals they understand it not.

Eh bien, that not the point is. Teh point is taht Moaroce has had a WERY bisy month. In octobre Mirose flew from NY to Paris, & from tehre to Argentina & from tehre to Sidney & from tehir to Tokyo & from their to New York. It a mutch action packed Month was, & Mirose almost ,missed a few of his hairyplaine flights , but he it managed ! It quite a N acheive,ment was.

Eh bien. HE enjoyed a few days in his hoseu in PARIS before flyinating to Buenose Aires. Tehn he an enjoying weekend in Argentina had, tehn to Sidney flew. He  a good week in Sidney had & it good weas . Then  he went to Tokyo went by hairyplane and taht where he is now is.  It mutch excitin g is & Mirose as found a few naerby restorants taht nice are. One has a WERY GOOD Selection of Burgundy, which wery authentic & wery nice is. Anohter restorant is a n auhtentic japonais restorant wiht a good selection of sake (en francaise -- 日本酒) taht Mirose has enjoyed dirnking. He has impresed teh waiters iwht his wery good grasp of Japonese. ""Un buoteille de saké, s"il tu plaite garcon,:" he said. & Tehy mutch impressed by his Japoenese were. Ma ybe MIrose shuold buyinate himself a cjhic little apratment here in Tokyo. It mutch good were.

Eh bien. ALSO mirose forgotted to mention that he also in argentina more than a weekend spent & went to wisit his wineyard tehre & it mutch good is growing. His manager tehre is NOT a geyniuis of Mieroses stature but he is seeming to be a good job there doing. Mirose can not wait to teh whine from here tasteinate, but apraently it much years will take. stupid nongeynius manager. Mirose is a grater geynius & he knows he cuold taste teh whine NOW if teh manager wuold him let.

EH BINE. that not teh point is.

Teh point is Mirose his flight to NY City leaves in 15 minutes so Maorise shuold ring for a taxi to get to the hairyport from his hotel room (witch is where he is now).


Friday, 5 October 2012

Guest post by Mycroft

It may seem that I have been somewhat derelict in my duties as a "guest blogger" on my brother's esteemed weblog (i.e., this one). And indeed I have not posted anything at all this year. And it's already October.

And yet, there's been so much to do. The budget. Immigration policy. The deficit. And the honourable leader of her majesty's loyal opposition keeps existing, which is really too vexing.

But that's just excuses. Truth is, if I visit Maurice's weblog, I end up reading his prose. And that just drives me to tears. And not in a good way, I can tell you.

But here I am ... currently in London, in Maurice's somewhat spectacular new Greenwich house. I was initially confused as he insists on calling it a "hosue". Did he mean Castle Hosue in Hereford? Or Hosue Nature House Yamabiko in Japan? Turns out it was just a typo. Who'd have thought?

Eh, it's been good to be in London. Been in America for a few months. At least they know how to drive on the right side of the road here, which is to say the left hand side. And meetings with people from ... certain agencies ... relating to ... trade ... have gone well. Despite Maurice leaking my text messages to him (lucky I tell him little of real importance...). And it's been good to be away from the office for a bit. Don't have Julia constantly popping by with new bits of work for me. Could get used to this!

Oh, and the ENO. Good to be able to go see a few performances. And to call into Berry Bros & Rudd for a bottle or two of something ... such as a few bottles of Haut-Brion. Or maybe some Krug. Perfect!

But ... can't! The budget deficit won't solve itself. And the leader of the opposition is still his usual contrary self. So, will have to go back to Canberra soon. But not this week. Or next week.