Wisiting Canberra.... and Mycroft...

Mes amis, if you have Murrhose on twitter been folowingk, you will ahve noticed taht he once again on spaeking terms wiht his younger brother Mycroft now once again is. And Murrhose has him been E-MIALING (even touhgh he a lesser mind tahn Moirwse is). AND so it was aranginated taht Murrheçe will him wisit in his Canberraerera hosue. Looking forward to it, mes amis, this geynius is looking forward to it!!!

Just need to find his way to Australie first. Murruse thinks he still over New Zealand is, so NOT LONG NOW....

Subject: Re: Visit me [CLASSIFIED LEVEL=3]
From: Mycroft de Perfossor
Sent: 11:20
To: Maurice de Perfossor [maurice.deperfossor@hotmail.fr]

Indeed, Maurice. See you whenever you remember where 
Canberra is...

Yours
Mycroft

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Maurice de Perfossor
> Sent: 12/14/10 10:32 AM
> To: Mycroft de Perfossor
> Subject: Re: Visit me [CLASSIFIED LEVEL=3]
>
> Of cuorse. A geynius can wisit his non-geynius brother,
> non? Will telelephoninate you once Murhuse he has in 
> Australie arrivinated...
>
> Morrowse.
>
> Mycroft de Perfossor wrote:
>>
>> Planning to visit Canberra whilst you're in 
>> "Australie"? Will invite Julia around for 
>> dinner if you come.
>>
>> Yours
>> Mycroft

Hairyplane tockets to Australialai

Hello again mes amis,

Murrhese is in his hosue in teh Suoth of France. But he is even now a return trip to his home-land (Australie) planninating. So, just now he hairyplane tockets buoght. Tihs time, he planed to travel by Air France rather tahn Atterrissage Forcé again. Teh prices were prefectly raesonable for a First Class tocket (which a GEYNIUS such as Murise deserves!!!):



But tehn, woe, castrophe! For some strange raison, Mierryçe ended up wiht Atterrissage Forcé tickets again!!!
Just because he booked teh tickets using http://tocketsonlion.atterrissage-forcé.fr! Tihs is no excuse, taht website should KNOW taht Mirrese ACTUALYY Air France tockets wanted! it most intolerable is!!

Especially as teh Atterrissage Forcé tockets ended up much, much more expensive taht the AIr France ones (as Mirrhyse accidentally every possible optional extra selectinated). Teh Air France tockets would have cost €7500 for a tocket from Montpellier to Sydney, Atterrissage Forcé costinated €18695.83!!! Stilll, for a grate geynius like Mwrise, it worth it is. Just so long as they crash again do not...

So, mes amis, Mwruse will wery, wery soon be home in Paris, NSW, Australia. Watch for him tehre striding teh wide boulevardes, and drinking coffee in teh many cafes!!!

InFlihgt Entertrainment

Mes amis, Mwerìse he is 10 minutes into teh hairyplane flight from Rhôme to Buenos Aires, and he ALREADY bored is. He & Agly 1st class British Hairways are flyinhg. Agly this insisted -- he would NOT fly wiht Mwerùse his normal hAirline, Atterissage Forcé, which Mjerise made much disapointed. At least tehre would be some entertainment -- teh engine would have normally caught fire at least ONCE by now on Atterissage Forcé.

Eh bien, Mwerüse a GEYNIUS is, so he can wiht teh boredome up put. He tried flicking scraps of paper at Agliè, but he this game did not want to play. Now he trying to raed a newspaper is. But it all rubbish news about stupid non geyniuses as!!! Mirrwse, he a grater geynius tahn ALL of them put togehter is!!!1!

Well, Meruse is falling back on trying to get somehting to eat & drnink to teh time pass. Hmmm -- Mheruse would like Tuna à la Provençale, wiht a bottel of Olivier Leflaive Puligny-Montrachet les Pucelles Premiere Cru 2002 to wiht it go. But alas, teh stewardess not coorporative is!! SHe claims this, they do not have!! She cannot Mweruse a meal get until lunch time, but at least she can him some cheese & biscuits get. Muryse at tihs much angrey was, but managed to restrain himslef and did not teh stewardess atempt to beat up or teh hairyplane attempt to damage. AT LEAST tehre cheese and biscuits are. Merjuse, he hopes teh cheese is TOP QUALITY FRENCH CHEESE. He expects nothing less.

Mwreise is trying to see if he can persauade her to him a bottel of 1985 Haut Brion Blanc him get. Wish Mwerise luck, mes amis!!1!!!

The whines of Castello di Mjurhyse -- oh noes!!!

Oh noes!!! Myerüise his telefone just was ringing, and THIS time he decided that it, it he would answer. And it was his bon ami Aglÿ! He much plesaed to him from him hear, and wanted all teh news of his Templar inwestiginations in Europe about hear. But alas, Aglie had a reminder for Myrÿrse that not good was. He asked how teh harvest & whinemaking at Castelo di Mèrése was along getting. This was a shock to Meruyse, he had about this FORGOTTEN COMPLETELY!!!

Ugliè is much worried that teh grapes, tehy will have already rotted on teh vines, and no good be. But Mierwose, he is hoping that maybe some will be O.Kay for a special late harverst dessert whine.

Well, mes amis, Mjÿrïse he will to Italy wonce more next week be going back, & seeing if he can rescue some of teh grpe harvest *& some good whine make. Wish Meruseise luck!!!! not that it he will need, he a geynius is, and for a geynius anything is posible.

Arrivinated in Sudney, still on route to Paris, Australiaa

Well mes amis, your correspondent most bold has finally in Sudney arrivinated, after a most eventful journey!!

As in Maelbourne, he was up by teh polis pulled up shortly after here getting, and again they mentioned some rubbish about custardy but when Mjuerose it offered to discuss over dinner at a fine french restuarant, they most raisonable were. SO, now, after a dinner most fine Mjwerose apparently he has nothing to worry about.

Which a relief is. The journey , it much eventful was!! Those who Mjerose on Twitter follow, will know that he ran across some kanjaroos wiht 3 inch long blood dripping venomous fangs that wanted to Mjerhyse eat wery much. Luckily, Meruçe his HSV Mallo wery fast is and he able to away get was. When he found teh Perth highway, he much glad was and a bottle of 1979 Chateaû Lafite opened and swigged it from teh bottle whilst dirving along as a little treat!!

Mewrüse has since herd from his good freind, teh eminant zoo-o-oligst Mr. George Bentham that these kangarros, they were teh rare species Macropus venenum, or Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo. Aparently there are few reported citings of them NOT beacuese tehy are rare and people do not them see often, BUT because most people that them sight are EATINATED by teh kangarrhos! Meurise to escape lucky was.

Eh bien, Miúruîse much glad to in Sudney be. He will in his Sudnay apratment for a few days, and then to his hoseu & home in Paris Australiaaia will go to rest & relax.

More soon, mes amis!!!!!!!!

Not again, mes amis.......

Well, mes amis, Mweruise he is now OUT of Melborne at high speed dirvinating, just to make this wobleg post stopping. Mes amis, it seems that the polis here also in teh control of teh Templars are!! Just as Miuerÿse was just starting to a few promising leads about teh templars get, he was by teh polis wonce again over pulled.

They said something about "escaping custody" and "arrest warrent" when they Mjueruse recognised, these must Templar things be!! Luckily Mueruse managed to get away. he pretended (again) that his dirving licence was in his car's glovebox, and when he back into his car got to "retreive it", he instead away at high speed drove. Phew! What a Lucky Escape for M. Murise!!

Well, mes amis, Mërhuse he is now heading for his old home Town of Paris, Australia. He is certain that THERE,, THERE the polis will not have by teh Templars have been infiltrated!

Finally arrivinated in Melborke

Mes amis, Mjewrhyse after such a long dirve he has FINALLY in Malborne arrivinated. mes amis, Mwrwçe he such a bad time in Adelaïde had, where Templars posing as Polis Men him tried to arrestinate!!! On fake, made up charges!!!1! But luckily, Miueruyse a geynius is, and so was away able to get.

Well, mes amis, Mwerwise is certain he much exciting things about teh Templar conspiracies will in Malbork find. Melbourne, it is a city of Templars! As it named after Malbork in Poland is, it MUST be. Fear not , mes amis , Mweruse will keep you postinated about his inciting discoveriesese!

Free! Escapinated!!!

Mes amis, Mwereuises audacious escape plan has to fruitiion come!! HE is FREE!!!

Well, mes amis, your correspondent most magnifique was sitting in his polis cell thinking about teh Templar plot that had brought him there mostly unjustly on flase charges (stealing a truck, dirving wihtout a lisesnse, speeding, assualitng a polis officer). These all rubbish were, and non-true!!! But such a grate geynius as Meruise would not the Templars let win! No, mon ami!! Mjerrouse just looked in his pockets, and found some string, some sugar, some tinfoil, some salt, and some ammonium phosphate fertiliserr (he plans to do some gardening when he gets back to Paris, Australia!!!). With tthese, he was able to make a small explosive devise, which he used to blow a hole in the wall. He was promptly then promptly able to promptly escape promptly.

Well, mes amis, Mwiioruse for a bit ran to away get. But this, it not suited for such a grate geynius is!! Miuwrüse would have liked to buy another Mack truck, but alas this, it not possible was. So as a second best, Meårhyse a Pickup Truck himself bought. To be precise, he a HSV Maloo himself bought. With this, he much pleased is.

The salesperson said to Meruise that "this car, it can to 271.444km/h acceleratinate, which much impressive is. Not that you'll be diriving that fast on teh road, eh?". ANd Mirrîse laughted and agreed that no, he would not be! But then when he drove out of teh car dealer shop at 140km/h, he thinks teh dealer would have got the impression that in fact Maerose WAS at 271.444km/h going to be dirvinating!!! But sadly, so far only to 270.00km/h have so far gottinated.

Mes amis, Mwerrose is now to MElbrone dirving. He must hit teh road again!!@!

Arrestinated

MEs amis, bad news!!! Your bold corrrespondant, Mwrhyçe de Perfosswr, has arrestinated been by teh Polis in Adelaïde, South Australaialaialia!

But first, teh details. Mes amis, Merrhyse has much about a secret Templar cell in Adelaïde been out findinating. He even managed to infiltrate teh Masons head quaters, and there found out much that was wery interesting. But the polis here, they must be under teh control of teh feindish Templars!!! This afternoon, whilst Muarhywse was around Adeláïde drivinating, he was by teh Polis pulled up.

They claimed he was "speeding" becuase he was at 120km/hour drivinating, even though this much slow is. THEY claimed that Mwroyse should at 50k/hour driving been, but this, it rediculous is!!! Then they looked on their comptutor, and claimed that the truck that Merrôse dirving was was STOLEN! They it claimed it stolen from Sydney airport had been some weeks ago!!!1! Well, Mweriouse camly tried to explain that it his truck was, and that it at Sudney airport had been for him left instead of Mowerhyse his Lamborghini due to a Mix Up, but alas they would not Merewse beleive.

THEN, they asked to see Muiwrrhyse his "dirvers lisence". Still, Merwwyse remained wery calm. That polise man had no excuse for trying to punch Mwerrhyse back. He explained that he, as a geynius, did not NEED a dirvers liccense, but alas they him would not beleive but instead him arrestinated. At this point, I (Mwrwuyse) realised that this, it must a TEMPLAR plot be. The TEMPLARS will stop at NOTHING, NOTHING mes amis to STOP mjewruse form them exposing. STill, teh polis did not THAT annoyed have to get, Merruse only slightly punched and bit one of teh polis offisers, and only one (1) of the polise cars was beyond repair demaged!

But do not fear, my bon amis. Mwerewwrse a BOLD PLAN for escapinating has, and will blog more when he free wonce again is!!!1!

Morriçe in Adelaïde!

Mes amis, as you all might from my Twitter-based Tweet (or on Faceboook) Mhuwryse arrivinated in Adelaïde on teh 12th, and now several days here has spent.

But do not think that Murryse has just spent his time eating at teh art gallery cafe or drinking cofee on Melbroune straet -- he much inwestigating has been doing! Teh templars, they much active in Adelâïde are, & Mjewrhyse teh geynius will a full account of their plotting & planning will make.

Myruçe this wery difficult thought it would be , but it is not!! They do not hide them selves much here. There even a Masonic Lodge on North Terrace is!!! IN public view!! Incredible. Mirrhuse KNOWS That teh Templars must meet there, so he will try to it infiltrate.

More soon, mes amis.........

Driving from Sudney to Melbrourne....

Mes amis, Mhwrujse he currently is from Sudney to Melbrone drivinating. And yes, he still a TRUCK is drivinating, as his Maserati it not at the airport waiting for him was. But Mÿrÿhse, he finds he is almost enjoying a truck drivinating! He is sitting up wery high, watching teh scenery flash past and listening to teh non-geyniuses chatter on teh CB Radio. Almost fun, mes amis, even for a geynius like Mwruise. For some raison, Mjerowse feels he should teh trukc stop & get out & buy a plaid shirt and a baseball cap. This, it much chic would be. But alas, their time is not!!! And berets, they Mur®üse suit better.

Alas, teh trafic here is wery, wery slow still Mjewrowse has managed to dirve at at least 170km/h for most of teh trip so far. At one point he thought he a porblem wiht teh truck had, when he started seeing blue flashing lights in teh rear vision mirror and heard a weird wirring noise. But what ever teh problem was, Mjerrouse knows not. It quickly disappeared after he spead up to 250km/h for a bit. SO whatever teh problem was, at least it temprorroary was and away just went.

Flying Atterrissage Forcé

Well, this flight so far it much good has been & wery uneventful which good is.

Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.

Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.

Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!

Mejrÿße le geynius, blogging LIVE from his FLIGHT to AUSTRALAIALAI!

Mes amis, Mjerhise is EVEN NOW in flight to Australiaialialai. It seems , that as part of a bid to "make Atterrissage Forcé seem as if it were a safe, comfortable, modern airline" (to their PR material quoteinate) they have now free WIFI internat on their hairyplanes have installinated. And about this Mjereuse much glad is.

Well, he on his way home to Australiaiailaialialailailllailailaia is. And wonce he is there, in Melborne & Adelaide he will for secret Templar cells look. As it a much delicate & secret operation is, he will LIVE updates by twitter be sendininating! Rember Mjerÿhse his twitter user name: it @mauricelegenie is!!1!

After this, he to his hosue in Paris, Australialia will for several weeks go for a nice relaxing rest, before to Paris going & a few weeks in his cosy flat on Rue Mouffetard spending. At teh moment, he is thinking he will not go back to his Castel in Italy until next January, he wants to Christmas in teh South of France spendinate.

WELL, Mjerhyuse he must stop typing as now teh brake fast teh air stewardesese are around bringing. Looks like it coffee and croissants is. Mjerwse, he hopes that his croisssants arent burnt & too hot and his coffee weak & too cold are, like that gentleman in teh row in fron of him....

Graetings from SUNNY ESPANIA!!

Well, mes amis, it soo loooonng has been since a wobleg post by that grate geynius Mjeroise has been, that you my most devoted raeders might well have though that Mjerh¥se he kidnapped & being held hostage by teh Templars was!!!1! But no, that it did not happen. Murise teh Templar hostage takers outsmartinated.

Well, teh truht is that Mjerwse he so busy been has that he a wobleg post has not time to post had. AND yet, he now in His Castle in spain is, so now he a wobleg post can write.

Well , mes amis , Mhirrwse now a nother castle in Italia owns. THIS one, it a TEMPLAR castel in Purugia, Umbria is:

http://www.castles-for-sale.com/sale/Perugia/index.htm

And it much pretty is. But of more importance, are teh hidden Tunnels and rooms, which of Templar secrets and documents filled must be!! As SOON as M. Aglie can to Italy get once again, we will through these secret passageways explorinate. Mhyrwise, he sertain is that many Templar plot related secrets they uncover will.

But now, he injoying his castel in Spain is, ANd it much beautiful is. This one, it one of teh porperties that he from his Rich Unlcle Pedro also inheritinated.

Well, it not all fun&gmames is, despoite what it might like look! Next week, he will to Australiaiaialai flyinate, to chase up teh possibility of a Templar group in Melbourne <-- wish Mjerîse luck wiht this difficult & dangerous mision!. Then he a few weeks in Paris, Australialai will spend to rst&relax.

Castles in Spain. And Italy. And SPain.

Mes amis, Mjerise has not so much to this time report.

Agli, he is going to Germany for a few weeks and then is to his home going. Leaving Méréçe alone wonce again. WELL, This it worries Mhwrwyse not one little bit! No, mon ami, Merhyse has much to do planninated.

He has ANOTHER ex- Templar castel in Italy lined up that he himself wants to buyinate. This, it will much wiht his work in decoding teh templar plots help. Also, in a week or sos time he will teh Castel in Spain that his late Uncel Pedro to Mjerhise left go and see too. mjerhüse, he wait cannot to all this see!

Also, Mherhyse has much exciting things plannedd for his whine Castello di Mewrrüse. He is certain it the bestest wine ever will be, so much place on his mantleplace is clearing for all teh awards it will win. Even so, Agly said it much important to a business plan have is. HERE is teh busyness plan of Mjerîse (genius):

1. Make wine.
2. Sell wine.
3. ...
4. Profit!

It a GREAT plan is, befitting such a grate geynius as Mjerrhyse, no?

BAck to Parys, mon amis

Oh noes! Today Mjúrhwse he must back to Paris, France flyinate. He teh flight is not forward to looking, mes amis!! Still, it over in a few hours will be.

Wonce he back in PAris is, then he will a few days in his Rue Mouffetarde apartment stay to Rest&Relax. Then he & his no-longer-good-friend Aglie will to Castello di Mauruse drivinate, and for more evidence of Templar histroy look. They hope also to drive to Malbork Castle togther at some point too also!! In any case, Mjuéerhyse he will infromed you keep.

Brakefast!!

MES AMIS, Mjérhiüse he has just break fast haded at his hotel most magnifique in montreal where staying he is. Well, it much better than many of the other hôtels which Maerwose le genie has wiht his presence graced. For one thing, the hôtelier a grate geynius like Mjoreuse is!!

Photo by Fir0002/Flagstaffotos

Well, Mjoruse wiht teh food here much impressed is. Normally, Meorwse for brake fast often just bacon and eggs to have has. AND often even that, that he cannot get done porpelly! Well not here mon ami!! NO, mon amis, here Murise had a breakfast most magnifique!!! To start with he ha a cafe au lait and brioche, just to Mjorrrhîse up wake. Then he on to a truffle omlette moved, washed down wiht 1976 Moët et Chandon "Vintage Brut Dom Pérignon Oenothèque Blanc" Champagne, then on to caviar, smoked salmon and oysters wiht MORE of teh champagne. Thne, he had some orange juice to this wash down, then pains au chocolat and pains aux raisins wiht lots of cafe au lait!! LOTS of cafe au lait, to Mjorhese help wake up..

Photo by T. Chu

Then he decided to test M. l'hôtelier to see just how much of a geynius he is. SO, instead of talking to him in ENglish, Mjorise talked to him in ETRUSCAN, a wery obscure language wot not many poeple know. "Bonjour, comment êtes-vous ce matin?" Mjoreése asked. And amazing! M. l'Hôtelier he also Etruscan knew, and much fluent was!! "Très bien, monsieur, et vous?" he asked. Well, Maehryose this was able to answer but then M. l'Hotelier had more to say but alas even le grate geynie Muarose he not as fluent in Etruscan was.

Greetings from MONTREÁL, mon amis!!

As some of my more observant readers might have noted observantly, Mjuwrhîse had in his diary an impromptu unscheduled wisit to Montréal for 9th- the 29th June scheduled. And it is true! He now in Montreal is, after a breif flight on Atterissage Forcé. And it tres bien is!! Murrhøwse he much ovwer joyed is to be spending time in a city so beautiful.

Also, Mjurrowhsé he has been spending time working on his book new. BUT, mes amis, yesterday disaster it STRUCK. Mürjwse he was on his LAPTOP new typing, which he in France purchasinated, when he noticed that teh keys they in the right order were note. They were

< & é " ' ( § è ! ç à ) -
a z e r t y u i o p ^ $ `
q s d f g h j k l m ù
w x c v b n , ; : =

When Mjérhîse, he expecting was

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - =
q w e r t y u i o p [ ] \
a s d f g h j k l ; '
z x c v b n m , . /

This!! It a catatatostrophy was!! BECAUSE teh keys they were not where Mjorwse was them expecting to be, his novel most beauifil instead NONENSENE WAS!!!

Oh noes!! That many hours of work on Hrothgar's Battle: the Norse Gods and the Templar Invention of Cinema -- his book new of scholarship -- wasted has been!!! Oh noes!! WHat to do!?!?! HE to type it all again from scratch all again does not to do want!!!

Apparantly, this, this is NROMAL to have teh keys in this order in computers French. But Mjuruse this does not believe. It is a conspiracy, mes amis! A CONSPIRACY!!!!

Eh bien, for teh meantime Mjorrrowse just much happy to in Móntreal be is. He will about his stay here more you tell soon!! Also he much secrets and discoverys frim his TEMPLAR CASTLE too tell you soon has. THIS SPACE WATCH, mes amsi!!!

Arrivinated at Castello di Mjrowse.

Mon ami, Mjrjse he finally at Castello di Mírh¥se is. Even touhgh he wone or two rwong turns made, yet again here in teh true tradition of le monde de mjerîse a map of his journey is:


View Larger Map

Eh bien. Even though it not the SHORTEST POSSIBLE ROUTE was, Muriose he a few nice bottles of Port wine picked up in Porto, Portugul.

And he much glad to at Castello Mjrose be wonce again. He much explorinating of all the secret hidden treasurres here has to do!!!1!

A genius on the road!

So Maurice is on his way back to his castle in Italy. Anyone out there want to guess just how many stupid, obvious wrong turns he'll make along the way? Or at least how much time he'll spend driving the wrong direction? No? Eh, can't blame you. Oh my gosh, but that Maurice fella just can't navigate. Safe to say the answer to both is "LOTS". Hope he misses Norway this time. Don't want to have to meet up with that so called "geynius" again. Oh boy. Being his PA is hard enough without having to meet the man.

Eh, just got to sort his mail then send it on to him. NO idea what he does with it when he gets it. Eats it, for all I know.

Yours squirrelishly,
Ratatoskr.