Mowrise his NEW hairyplane

Taht is correct, mes amis, Muriçe now owns anohter hairyplanne!!!! He only tihs week bought himslef a Cessna CitationJet CJ4. He just a few days a go a test flight of it had, and fuond it to be much magnificent and buought it tehre on teh spot.

Why, mes amis??!?! Well, it much simple is. Murrose will ahve to his home in Australie go back to soon. And he MUCH fed up wiht teh non-geynius airlignes is. Tehy are not up to teh standard of teh UNIQUE geynius of Murrose -- but tehn, NOBODY other tahn Merose is!!!

Having tihs raelised, Murrose saw taht the course of procedings, it obwious was!! He should himslef a jet plane buyinate, and fly himslef!!!! And tihs is exactly waht he did. SO, in January wehn he wonce again flys home to Australie... NO more Atterissage Forcé, he will be flyinating Air Mwrhyse!!!

Oh, also, Mwerise has to note taht he found his way OUT of teh catecombs of Saint-Emilion... ewentually. He tehn decidinated to go to his Chateau in teh South of France for some rest&relaxation, but somewhow ended up in Paris instaed... where he had intendinated to go teh Whole Time!!!

He cannot much more abuot Saint-Èmilion write, as he much templar sekrits discoverinated, and he will have to work on tehm desyphering before he can publish tehm here.... but rest assurinated, you WILL find out more.

Taht is how Meriçe fuond himself in Parhys, and how he ended up having a test flight most magnificent of a hairyplane most magnificent.... and tahts how he will himslef in Australie early next year findinate!!!1!

Porperty Portfolio - Updatinated

Aglie has just Mjerrose been showing Mjerése a 8th century Templar book, full of secret Templar hystery and secret World Domination plans.

It much exciting was, and Mjerîse thinkinates that they much about teh Templar plots can out findinate. ALso, it teh land on which Castello di Muruse was on built it mentions, which much exciting is.

On teh same subject, Mjereóse has been think wonce again about his porpetry portfolio. SO FAR he has,

in France -

• A château near Arles in teh South of France
• A château near Armidale in teh North of France
• An appartment on Rue Mouffetarde in Parys

In his homeland, Austaliaia:

• A modest hosue in his dear little town of Paris, New South Wales
• An apratment RIGHT on teh harbour, near teh Harbour Bridge, in Sydney

In Italy:

• Castello di Maurice, near Genzano di Roma
• An Appartment on teh Campo de' Fiori

In USA:

• His Apratment in Greenwich VIllage, NY City, which he from his rich unle Pedro inheritinated

In Argentina:

• An apratment in San Telmo, Buenoes Aires
• A HUGE ranch in teh countryside
• BOTH of which he inheriniated from his rich unle Pedro inheritinated

Spain:

• An porperty in Spain whihch he is yet to visitinate, also from his rich unle Pedro inheritinated

Well... maybe this is enough houses for now. FOR NOW. But Mjeroése also a hosue in Montreal, Canada wants, and maybe a BIG house near Melbourne, Australia

BAck to Parys, mon amis

Oh noes! Today Mjúrhwse he must back to Paris, France flyinate. He teh flight is not forward to looking, mes amis!! Still, it over in a few hours will be.

Wonce he back in PAris is, then he will a few days in his Rue Mouffetarde apartment stay to Rest&Relax. Then he & his no-longer-good-friend Aglie will to Castello di Mauruse drivinate, and for more evidence of Templar histroy look. They hope also to drive to Malbork Castle togther at some point too also!! In any case, Mjuéerhyse he will infromed you keep.

Return to Castello di Maüris!!.

Mjorwíse he woken up has after a good night s sleep (though he did some how manage to pour spill hot chocolate all over Murjhóse himslef -- not good, mon ami, not elegante!).

Well, now he teh road wants to hit, and so in a munute he will to his Bugatti Veyron go, and to Castelli di Maúryße drivinate. Wonce there, he will its secrets fully be able to discover fully.

Méjrioce le genie, he not even time for brakefast yet has had yet, but eh bien he will brakefast on teh road buyinate -- maybe un café au lait and some croissants. Mmmm... croissants.

Photo by ana branca

BAck in Parys

WOW! That quite a flight was!! That, it luxury defined for Mjrowse!! He was able to ask for a glass of water whenever he wanted, and it came it a glass that it was clean!!!?! ALSO, he able to buy wines and champagnes for to his meals go wiht. And the meals were not mouldy (like tehy are on Atterrissage Forcé) -- no, mon ami, the meals they much good were!

Eh bien, Mjéríse he now back in his apratment in Paris is, and he much glad to be home again is. Still, in a day fews time, he to Castello Muruse will onse again go. He has many more secrets there to explorinate. He will keep you infromed, mon ami! But his ex-bon ami Aglie, he will NOT be talking to again!! NO, mon ami, NOT after teh way that Aglie he Mj∆røse tried to lead into a trap!!! But Mrwrse, he too clever for Aglie was!! Mérjwse, he a greate geynius is.

Hmmmm,,,, Time to braek open that 1952 Château Lafite Rothschild...

Phew!!!

Mes amis, it looks like once again the greate geynius of Mjérhwse has triumphed once again!! Eh bien, it is true mon ami, it looks like Mwrwyse he has an ENTIRE SECRET SOCIETY foolinated. Yes! He tricked them into thinking that he to them has Anceint Secret Templar Knowleedge them gived.

At teh moment he in his NEW apratment in New York is but wonce he this wobleg post has wrotten, he will point his web borwser to airfrance.fr and hairyplane tockets buyinate.

Oh noes!!! The tickets of First class (La Première) costinate €7,490 !! This, it much more than the frist class tockets of Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class (wihc only cost €5.99) - -

but - - Mjîrwose he thinks after such a greayte victory,, he himslef can give a bit of a treat. JUST as a wonce off.

Also teh hairyplanes of Air France are much better than those of Atterissage Forcé --

Photo of Atterrissage Forcé plane
Photo by Rob Sinclair

and that quite a treat will be!! A whole flight without an engine catching fire!!!1!

Woe is Meuwrose!

Muirrhyse, he is not certain what to do! The catatsorophy most catistrofieck that Muiirhyse has it, it is catatatstroetirophic! Even for such a great geynisu as Muirrhuse, he not certain what to do is!

Mes amis, he is not certain which of his hosues in Europe to sellinate. Maybe he should his new castel in Italy keep, at least from this he can some muney make by selling teh wine and teh olives that he will at this new hosue grow. But what of his apartment most beautiful in Paris? Or his chateau in teh south of France! Oh mes amis, it really is too much for Murrrowse to bear!!

Also, he will have to his new Lamborghini most beleoved trade in for
another Lada. And all his other cars, he will them have to sellinate too!

Also, who will pay for his new book to be published? It is not cheap, mes amis! Le publisher de Maurice, M. Garamond, is wery suportive of teh great geynisu that is Muirrowse, but even so he must Muaerowse much muney charge to his books publish -- that is publishing, mes amis, that is publishing.

Eh bien, do not worrry my raeders. Muirrhowse will of something thinkk -- do not worry yourselfs! It may be a hard challenge, but MUIEAEROWYESE is a great GEYNIUS. ANd a GREAT GEYNIUS as that CAN DO ANYTHING!!

Maerhese in Paerese (again!)

Well mes amis the great geynius Muawrise is again once again in Paris!! He got to France back yesterday, and was much happy to be there.

Alas, his flightt back took seven days rather than the 52 hours it intended to take was meant to, because the Atterrissage Forcé pilot he wonce again got wery lost, and took long time to France find. Then he in Paris not Armidale France landed!

Still, Mwrwse in Paris is glad to be back, and he the flight over is glad that it is. Now he just has to overcome his KILLER JET LAG. I mean, mes amis, THIS is WORSE than last time! After all, mes amis, LAST TIME the flight only 78 HOURS took! This time it 172 hours took!!!1!

Eh bien. Muwryse will now have a few days to spend enjoying life in Paris France, in his apartment most beautitufl on Rue Mouffetard. Then He to Armidale France will drive. First he a new car must buy. Maybe he a Bugatti Veyron will buy. He has these read nice cars are.









Yes. That like a nice car looks. And Muaerise he still some of the spare credit cards he borrowed earlier from the Capitan of the SS Cado still has. Maybe he will a Bugatti as a welcome home present himself buy,

Merrhose in Paris (again)

Mawrose he has in Paris arrived once again, mes amis. He will of course his raedership most loyal updtate more fully as soon as he can.

Also, he will investigate the mystery of why every one in Paris they have started spaeking Breton since Morise he was last here. It is quite strange mes amis.

Eh bien, Moiruse he is much overjoyed to in Paris be back once again. It looks like he that chameleon managed to shake off tooo...

Maurice's schedule for the Book Signing Tour

Bonjour mes amis...

Fooled you, eh? Bet you thought that was Maurice. Not, it's me Ratatoskr!


Well, Maurice is OFF and on his grand tour of Europe now. He wanted me to let you all know his schedule. Here it is, folks:



From: Claudio Garamond [cgaramond@manutius-press.it]
To: Ratatoskr [ratatoskr.squirrel@gmail.com]
CC: Maurice de Perfossor
Subject: Maurice's schedule for the Book Signing Tour

Ratatoskr (and Maurice),

Here is the schedule for Maurice. This is as agreed on the phone with Maurice last week.

Fri 7 Mar 08:35 Fly EasyJet from Paris to Milan.
Mon 8 Mar 11:00 Meet myself at Manutius's offices. Then lunch
Mon 8 Mar 14:00 Book launch, reading and signing at Manutius' office.
Tue 9 Mar Travel to Rome
Wed 10 Mar Signing at Bookstore 'Credulone' in Rome at 10:00
Thu 11 Mar Travel to Greece
Thu 11 Mar Interview on 'Aristophanes Radio' at 18:00
Fri 12 Mar Signing at Bookstore 'Medea' in Athens at 10:32
Sat 13 Mar Free day in Athens
Sun 14 Mar Travel to Albania
Mon 15 Mar Signing at 'American Books' in Tirana at 14:00
Tue 16 Mar Travel to Croatia
Tue 16 Mar Interview on Croatian national radio at 20:00
Wed 17 Mar Signing at 'Not Really American Books' in Zagreb at 13:00
Thu 18 Mar Travel to Ukraine
Fri 19 Mar Interview on local radio at 08:00, Ukraine
Fri 19 Mar Signing at 'Borders Books' 14:00, Kiev
Sat 20 Mar Travel to Poland
Sun 21 Mar Free day in Poland
Sun 21 Mar Interview on national radio, Poland, at 22:00
Mon 22 Mar Book signing in Krakow Books, Warsaw
Tue 23 Mar Book singing in Warsaw Books, Krakow
Wed 24 Mar Travel to Latvia
Thu 25 Mar Book signing at 'Lost Books', Riga at 11:00
Fri 26 Mar Travel to Norway
Fri 26 Mar Interview on Radio Odin at 22:00.
Sat 27 Mar Signing at Thor Books in Oslo at 09:00
Sat 27 Mar Singing at Wodin Books in Bodø at 16:00
Sun 28 Mar Free day in Oslo
Mon 29 Mar Travel to Germany
Mon 29 Mar Intreview on Radio Schweinhund at 22:20
Tue 30 Mar Signing at Analphabetin Bücher in Hamburg at 11:00
Wed 31 Mar Signing at English Books in Munich (Bavaria) at 14:00
Thu 1 Apr Travel to Switzerland
Thu 1 Apr Interview on Schweizer Radio at 20:00
Fri 2 Apr Book singing at Schwachsinnige Bücher in Geneva at 11:00
Sat 3 Apr Free day in Geneva
Sun 3 Apr Free day in Geneva
Mon 4 Apr Travel to UK
Tue 5 Apr Interview on BBC Radio 4
Wed 6 Apr Signing at Why Books in Milton Keynes at 13:00
Thu 7 Apr Signing at Why Not Books, London SE30
Fri 8 Apr Return to France
Sat 9 Apr Interview on French radio at 11:00
Sat 9 Apr Signing at cafe on Rue Mouffetard, Paris
Sun 10 Apr Return to country house near Armidale, France for well earned rest!

Yours

Claudio.

Well, Maurice is gonna be one busy little bee for the next few weeks... Remember folks, plan your holidays so you're not in the same country as he is. If he's coming to your country, go away for a few days! Its worth it. Oh boy is it worth it!

Yours squirrelishly
Ratatoskr.

Maris in Paris

Greetings, mes amis! Well, Maurisee is sorry that he left you waiting and longing for his wit and wisdom most amazing, but now, mon ami, you must wait no more! Eh bien, it is true, that Mawrise he has been most quiet for the past few weeks. But now this geynius, he is back!

And he is not just back to blogging, non, mes amis, he is back in his home city of Parrhyse.And much glad to be back there he is. Is tres bien!

Merhise, he has enjoyed sitting in his local cafe once again, and to walk the streets most familiar around Rue Mouffetarde. Mes amis, it was so good to wake up and realise that now Merrhuse is in his apartment most beautiful on Rue Mouffetard, and to look out on the street and see the Paris street scene most beautiful below him. It is a change most beautiful from his incarceration most tragic on those islands desert so evil and horrible.

The only disappointment most bitter, mes amis, is that there was no grand welcoming ceremony for Mawrhyses return most triumphant to Paris. I cannot this figure out why not. Mawrise called on his good friend Sarko at his house to ask why, but M Sarkozy he pretended to recognise Mewrhiçe not. Mes amis, I have been gone to long! Even my good friends like M Sakrozie have his security guards throw him out.

Luckily, Mrhyse was the model of composure as ever. The security guards were armed after all. Just a few vague kicks and punches, and Mawryse may have smashed a chair on one of their heads. Still, they did not at Mawryuse have to shoot like that. The great geynius could have been injured most greviously!

Still, mes amis, no regrets. Mawryse has gained knowledge and inspiration most valuable from it all. It is all inspiration for my book new most wonderful, The Mouthwash of hte Gods!

Rescued!

Yesterday, Merrhyse was rescued form the field in which he had crashinated his plane. Good news, he found out that he in the south of france had landed! The reason Marise could not the Frenchmen understand is that they were all talking Breton, not French. Yes... Breton. That'll work. Everyone round here seems to be speaking... Breton, so we are in English ahving to communicate.

Still, it has arranged been that I, Mwrhyse will to Paris return tomorrow. Tomorrrow shall be the date of the triumphal return to Paris of Famous Aiuthor Marrise de Parfossir! Mes amis, there will be crowds lining the streets, and fire works and parades. I am most certain mon ami my good friend Nicolas Sarkozy will eb there to greet Merrhyse, after his too long absence from Paris.

Mawrice cannot to his flat in Paris get back wait. He has been away for so long, and misses it much!

Rue Mouffetard

From: Jacques [jacques@mouffetard-1.fr]
To: Maurice de Perfossor
RE: Rue Mouffetard

Please tell us about your wonderful apartment on Rue Mouffetard?

Jacques

Well, my devoted readers, you have spoken and I, Morreyse, have listened! Eh bien, my appartment most beautiful is what you will hear about.

It is too, too long since I have been in my beautiful Rue Mouffetard apartment. Still, I miss the markets most beautiful, and the cofee shops where I would talk to my devoted audiences. Mowrrise would sit and talk to a devoted audience until they all suddenly had to go, and the coffee shop it became very empty. This often happened quite quickly, but Morese knows they did not want to go. They were enjoying listening to me speak.

And Moryçe's apartment was the epitome of understated French elegance! The simplicity yet beauty of it astounded people much!

Here, mes amis, is Morrhyse's bedroom:


Here is is simple but functional living room and study:


My favourite memory still is walking down Rue Moufffetard one winter's evening, with the lights most bright shining and the cold and the darkness all around Morrhyse, knowing that he his apartment most beautiful had to go back to. It is at such time that Parris is at its most beautiful, at night in the lights of the street.

Mowreyce misses it still!

Apologies, mes amis, apologies

Mes amis, Mowrhiçe must apologise much for his extended silence. I am ware of the sorrow and suffering my many fans must have felt, being deprived evenly briefly of the wit and wisdom fantastique of Maurace.

Well, fear no more, Merrhise is here! Moruse has spent the past few days exploring his island prison, and, mon amis, it is not so bad. There is plenty of food and fresh water. Yesterday, Marrese caught several saucisse de Morteau in his trap. And I have a shelter most beautiful built, which has a desk for Mowrece''s great work, and a small bedrom most beautiful.

Seeing how lovingly constructed and perfect, yet how small and simple and isolated, his new hut is Morrese was tempted to shed a few tears. How I remember my apartment on Rue Mouffetard! It is a far cry from this little hut. I get faster internet access there too. Mowrise misses shopping in the market, and drinking coffe in the little cafes. Ah, how he misses it!

Also, Merrise missed out on the launch of the iPhone, which in Paris happened recently. He has by mail order bought one but he is thinking it is not likely I will a singal from Orange's french mobile network pick up in the middle of the pacific. Even with roaming, there are no standard GSM mobile phone networks here, mes amis.

Maybe CDMA would work.