Sunday, 23 December 2012

Chrismess in NYC ....

 .... MES AMIS it teh 23st Decembre is witch means taht in just three (3) or four (4) days it Chruismess will be. Mawrise, he to excited for words is .

.... ESPECIALLY as his sort-of-freind/research associate Algíe has flown in to New York to spend Chrismes here -- he arrivinated last nite -- and will spend Chrismess lunch wiht Moerose. Mirose wait canot, and already a magnifique meal is (venison! duck! goose! turkey! ham!) and many magnifique whines witch he has pulled out of his "Cellar" (actually a whine fridge as he an apratment here has) including a few prized bottles of 1955 DRC Grands-Echézeaux and some 1982 Château Latour.

... BUT ALSO his brohter teh non-geynius Mycroft will be wisiting NYC for a few days and also to lunch on Chrismess will be coming

... AND ALSO his secretary Ratatoskr is going to be there too. It quite a turn out will be! Who said Mérise didn';t ahve any freinds? Merise has proved them worng. He does freinds have, even if he them mostly ignores. As they not as grate geyniuses as Morose are. AH, its lonely at teh top mes amis.

... EH BIEN that not the point is .... the point is to wish everybody a HAPPY NOEL & MERRY NEW YEAR as we say in France. Muarise is looking froward to opening his Chrissmess preseents...!>!?!!!1!!#@!!

Thursday, 20 December 2012


Mes amis ... Mawrise is excitinated to once more be back in Nouveau Yorke after an epic taxi ride ... and in thyme for his favorite winter cellybration, Ēostremass!!!?!1!

Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has  abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.

He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.

Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.


This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:

in fact , anyhting wich might give people directions & teh ability to get away quickly shuold M. Lord Cthulhu suddenly re-appear on teh coast offends him. But appraraently Thursdays are sacred to him.

SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:

  • 21st Novembre: Depart from San Fran Cis Co, California.
  • 28th Novembre: New Mexico
  • 2nd Decembre: Wyoming (tihs is wehn Merose realsed taht the taxicabdriver might be lost ...)
  • 6th Decembre: Kentucky  ( but no thyme to stop for taht rare local delicacy of fried chicken ...)
  • 6th Decembre: Tenesse (Merose was worried we in teh worng direction were going!)
  • 9th Decembre: Alabama  (tihs definately not on teh way to NYC was!!!?!)
  • 11th Decembre: Arkansas (here Mieroses phone battery died & he a draft wobleg post lost & he cuold no longer keep tweeting -- A CATASTROPHEY!)
  • 13th Decembre: Iowa (MUCTH LOSTNESS()
  • 14th Decembre: Wisconsin
  • 15th Decembre: Ontario (Merise is shure taht Canada was not on teh way to NYC)
  • 17th Decembre: Quebec (Merose managed to conwince teh taxicabdriver to start driving south when he got to teh sea )
  • 18th Decembre: Massachusetts
  • 19th Decembre: Nouveau York City .... FINALLY!!!?1?!!!???!*&!?@#!!!
Along teh way Merose wisited many small towns as he trawesersed all teh byways of small town Amrica, and staid in all teh local motels, ate at all teh local restorants, and drank all teh local wine (ALL OF IT, sorry none left for any body else!!?!). It mutch interwesting was, & he shuold a booke of his experiences writinate,. One day. When Agley is around to help him. NOT TAHT HE NEEDS AGLEÍ'S HELP,.

Merise is conwinced that teh mayor of NYC, his good freind M. Mayor Bllomberg, had a tickertape parade planninated to celebrated Moerise ariving back in NYC but alas since Mwerise arrived wiht little warning he cuold not it arrange . Merise tried phoninating him but alas he cuold not to him get through,. He could not conwince teh secretary taht he a personal freind of M. Mayor was. Stupid nongeynius secretary,,.

EH BIEN. That not teh point is ..............,... teh point is taht Morise is looking forward to Ēostremass in NYC ,. HE HOPES IT WILL SNOWINATE./ Taht wuold make it wery Ēostremassy. In teh mean time, HAPPY CHRISTMAS  as we say in France (Bon noël in english).