Sunday, 23 December 2012

Chrismess in NYC ....

 .... MES AMIS it teh 23st Decembre is witch means taht in just three (3) or four (4) days it Chruismess will be. Mawrise, he to excited for words is .

.... ESPECIALLY as his sort-of-freind/research associate Algíe has flown in to New York to spend Chrismes here -- he arrivinated last nite -- and will spend Chrismess lunch wiht Moerose. Mirose wait canot, and already a magnifique meal is (venison! duck! goose! turkey! ham!) and many magnifique whines witch he has pulled out of his "Cellar" (actually a whine fridge as he an apratment here has) including a few prized bottles of 1955 DRC Grands-Echézeaux and some 1982 Château Latour.

... BUT ALSO his brohter teh non-geynius Mycroft will be wisiting NYC for a few days and also to lunch on Chrismess will be coming

... AND ALSO his secretary Ratatoskr is going to be there too. It quite a turn out will be! Who said Mérise didn';t ahve any freinds? Merise has proved them worng. He does freinds have, even if he them mostly ignores. As they not as grate geyniuses as Morose are. AH, its lonely at teh top mes amis.

... EH BIEN that not the point is .... the point is to wish everybody a HAPPY NOEL & MERRY NEW YEAR as we say in France. Muarise is looking froward to opening his Chrissmess preseents...!>!?!!!1!!#@!!

Thursday, 20 December 2012


Mes amis ... Mawrise is excitinated to once more be back in Nouveau Yorke after an epic taxi ride ... and in thyme for his favorite winter cellybration, Ēostremass!!!?!1!

Mes amsis ... befour Moarise gets to talk abuot New Yokr, he will 1st about his EPIQUE TAXI DRIVE you tell. He has  abouit it a BIT tweetinated, but he needs more to say. Eh bien. Mierose ended up in San Fran Cis Co instaed of New York due to a storm taht closed some hairports.

He a good thyme there had as he got to wisit Sonoma & Napa walleys & many whineries there wisitinate including wwelll known cult superpremium whinery OPUS SCREAMING HARLAN CELLARS . Witch mutch good was. Morose MENT to write a wobleg post but alas he to busy enjoying himslef was. Teh one BAD moment was when he wisited well known famuos restorant The French Laundry. He thought he wuold kill two (2) burds wiht one stone & take his dirty clothes along for washing but alas it turns out taht despite teh name they are n't actualy a laundry. Merose accusinates tehm of false adwertising,.

Eh bien. That not teh point of this particylar post is. Teh point is taht when it became O K to go back to NYC Moarose decided to go via taxi. as it a WERY NYC WAY TO TRAVEL is. Unfrotunately, Mjúerise managed to chose teh worng taxicabdriver.


This taxicabdriver was a cultist of Cthulhu. Of all teh taxicabdrivers Míreße managed to select one who is a member of a secret evil cult! Incredible but true! Tihs a few inconweneinces caused since apparently teh following things offend Lord Cthulhu:

in fact , anyhting wich might give people directions & teh ability to get away quickly shuold M. Lord Cthulhu suddenly re-appear on teh coast offends him. But appraraently Thursdays are sacred to him.

SO it took many days of aimless driving to ewentuallyy end up in NYC, along teh way we through passed:

  • 21st Novembre: Depart from San Fran Cis Co, California.
  • 28th Novembre: New Mexico
  • 2nd Decembre: Wyoming (tihs is wehn Merose realsed taht the taxicabdriver might be lost ...)
  • 6th Decembre: Kentucky  ( but no thyme to stop for taht rare local delicacy of fried chicken ...)
  • 6th Decembre: Tenesse (Merose was worried we in teh worng direction were going!)
  • 9th Decembre: Alabama  (tihs definately not on teh way to NYC was!!!?!)
  • 11th Decembre: Arkansas (here Mieroses phone battery died & he a draft wobleg post lost & he cuold no longer keep tweeting -- A CATASTROPHEY!)
  • 13th Decembre: Iowa (MUCTH LOSTNESS()
  • 14th Decembre: Wisconsin
  • 15th Decembre: Ontario (Merise is shure taht Canada was not on teh way to NYC)
  • 17th Decembre: Quebec (Merose managed to conwince teh taxicabdriver to start driving south when he got to teh sea )
  • 18th Decembre: Massachusetts
  • 19th Decembre: Nouveau York City .... FINALLY!!!?1?!!!???!*&!?@#!!!
Along teh way Merose wisited many small towns as he trawesersed all teh byways of small town Amrica, and staid in all teh local motels, ate at all teh local restorants, and drank all teh local wine (ALL OF IT, sorry none left for any body else!!?!). It mutch interwesting was, & he shuold a booke of his experiences writinate,. One day. When Agley is around to help him. NOT TAHT HE NEEDS AGLEÍ'S HELP,.

Merise is conwinced that teh mayor of NYC, his good freind M. Mayor Bllomberg, had a tickertape parade planninated to celebrated Moerise ariving back in NYC but alas since Mwerise arrived wiht little warning he cuold not it arrange . Merise tried phoninating him but alas he cuold not to him get through,. He could not conwince teh secretary taht he a personal freind of M. Mayor was. Stupid nongeynius secretary,,.

EH BIEN. That not teh point is ..............,... teh point is taht Morise is looking forward to Ēostremass in NYC ,. HE HOPES IT WILL SNOWINATE./ Taht wuold make it wery Ēostremassy. In teh mean time, HAPPY CHRISTMAS  as we say in France (Bon noël in english).

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

BRAEKING NEWS: Miroeses plane diwerted

MES AMIS .... teh pilot has just saided that teh flight at JFK hairport NYC landinate due to Hurricane Sandy, a wery bad storm that NYC has hitted. Majroce had of course about teh Hurrican read but assumed that maybe teh airport was open agian. Unfrotunately it was not, and Aterrisage Force (teh hairline with witch Mierose is flying) did not abuot it know because (a) thier subscription to teh Aviataion Weather Service(TM) had lapsed as they couldnt pay teh subscription fee *& (b) no body at Atterrissage Forcé HQ reads teh news.

SO teh pilot has  just announcinated that he decided to land at a nother major hairport instead has. Since tehy dont have acess to the Weahter Reports he does not know exactly wehre teh storm has closed hairports & generally caused devistation so he decidded to diwert to California has. Teh hairyplane will be landing at Well Known Major Hairport Sonoma Valley Hairport instaed. Mirose will tehn a taxi get to NYC, as soon as everything's restored after teh strom.

Moarise is of course NOT wery happy abuot tihs & thinks teh storm shuold have chosen a time when Moerose (who is, after all, teh gratest geynius to ever live ever) was not planning to in NYC be. It was teh least it cuold have done. Eh bien, tthere is nothing Morawce can do now. Tehre is nothing to be gained from shouting at or attempting to beat up teh cabin staff , they fix this problem cannot (though Moarise admits he did slightly try to punch the steward when he this first heard ... and maybe threw his coffee at him! Still, it was nothing & the stewart shouldnt ahve been so upset at Miroce).

EH BIEN. Tihs just a short post is ment to be. Bon amis in NYC who waiting for Moerose are ..... he will be there soon!! AS soon as tihngs back to Normal are. In teh meanthyme, he had been meaning to wisit San Fran Cisco, so may be tihs is a good time to do so!!?!??!?!? ALso, Mooarose hopes his amis in NYC & teh rest of teh East Coast much safe are & ahvent been badly affectinated by teh stupid  much bad & annoying non-genius storm.

a bientôt....!!!.... & bon courage!!!!


MES AMIS ... mawrise is curently inflight from Tokyo to NewYorkCity(TM). He quite an adwenture getting on to teh flight haded. He arivinated quite late for his hairyplaneflight because APPARENTLY, ALLEGEDLEY 15 minutes it not enuogh time to get from Moarise his hotel to teh airyport, check in to teh flight, go thruogh security & go to teh gate & get on teh flight is. ALLEGEDELY,. Maurise tihnks it is, & he a grate geynius is. Must have been a templar plot to delay him. YES, taht's it.

EH BIEN. Mirose managed to on a nother flight get as Atterissage Force have flights going from Tokyo every half huor for reasons even teh hairline isn ' t quite certain of. He had to fly to teh le Republique de le Congo & change to another flight, but he thihs has to do wiht all atterrissage force flights, tehy all through teh Le Républic du Congo go.

SO Moarose is currently in flight on teh leg of his flight from Brazzaville, Republic du Congo to New York City, New Yokr State, U.S.A. He currently availing himslef of teh free WiFI is ((WELL .... it not raelly free is, yuo meant to pay teh stewardess a fee of 14,000.14 Central African Francs€ 21.34 EUR which NOT mutch for a geynius of Moroses stature is but STILL its teh principal Muarrise shuoldnt ahve to payinate for trivial things like taht & IT a simple tihing for Mirose to gain entry for free was just by breaking into teh hairyplane's key central comptutor systems.)) to a wobleg post write.

SO Mirose quite a month has had, THose who were inteligent & obserwant enough to raed Miorse his PREVIOUS wobleg post (from Yes-ter-day) Mirose has been in NYC. And Paris. And Argentina. And Sydney. And TOkyo. And now, NYC again. QUITE A MONTH FOR TRAVEL EVEN BY TEH STANDERDS OF MIROSE. He did tihs for no particulalar raison OTHER TAHN TAHT MARWOSE HE WANTED TO. And taht it good enough reason for any body is. but may be tihs coming month (NOWEMBRE) Mirose will take mutch quieter, wiht just a small trip to San Francisco, & may be go back to Italy at teh end of teh month. YES, thats all.

HMM ... teh hairyplane pilot says we curreently flyinating over Kazakstan are, because he a worng turn somewhere took ... AGAIN. Typical. <Might be a long flight mes amis. Muarise cannot decide : should he work on writing his NEXT work of GEYNIUS ??? or shuold he spend some thyme playing his latest up to date Comptutor game he likes called DOOM II on his state of teh art lapttopcomptutor??????? TOUGH DECISION MES AMIS.

PS Morose can now his name write in ENGLISH, FRANCAISE & JAPONESE:

ENGLISH: Muarice.
FRENCAISE: Màïùrrèéçë
JAPONAISE: Mōrisu // モーリス

UPDATE @ 4:20AM: miurose wishes to denyinate rumours taht teh difficultys teh hairyplane is expereincing (INCLUDING TEH NAWIGATION PORBLEMS) are caused by Morose hacking into teh hairyplanes key avionics comptutor systems so he could free WIFI get. COMPLETELY UNRELATED. Mirose hardly any software/files/settings deleted, and its only 65.7% probable taht he locked teh pilot out of teh flight control system.DONT BELEIVE UNSABSTANTIATED RUMOURS SPREAD BY JEALOUS LEASER MINDS WHO OF MIREOSE JEALOUS ARE.

Monday, 29 October 2012

Mirose in Tokyo

MES AMIS .... Mirose is curently in Tokyo & a chance to his Japonaise speaking practice thuogh confusingly the locals they understand it not.

Eh bien, that not the point is. Teh point is taht Moaroce has had a WERY bisy month. In octobre Mirose flew from NY to Paris, & from tehre to Argentina & from tehre to Sidney & from tehir to Tokyo & from their to New York. It a mutch action packed Month was, & Mirose almost ,missed a few of his hairyplaine flights , but he it managed ! It quite a N acheive,ment was.

Eh bien. HE enjoyed a few days in his hoseu in PARIS before flyinating to Buenose Aires. Tehn he an enjoying weekend in Argentina had, tehn to Sidney flew. He  a good week in Sidney had & it good weas . Then  he went to Tokyo went by hairyplane and taht where he is now is.  It mutch excitin g is & Mirose as found a few naerby restorants taht nice are. One has a WERY GOOD Selection of Burgundy, which wery authentic & wery nice is. Anohter restorant is a n auhtentic japonais restorant wiht a good selection of sake (en francaise -- 日本酒) taht Mirose has enjoyed dirnking. He has impresed teh waiters iwht his wery good grasp of Japonese. ""Un buoteille de saké, s"il tu plaite garcon,:" he said. & Tehy mutch impressed by his Japoenese were. Ma ybe MIrose shuold buyinate himself a cjhic little apratment here in Tokyo. It mutch good were.

Eh bien. ALSO mirose forgotted to mention that he also in argentina more than a weekend spent & went to wisit his wineyard tehre & it mutch good is growing. His manager tehre is NOT a geyniuis of Mieroses stature but he is seeming to be a good job there doing. Mirose can not wait to teh whine from here tasteinate, but apraently it much years will take. stupid nongeynius manager. Mirose is a grater geynius & he knows he cuold taste teh whine NOW if teh manager wuold him let.

EH BINE. that not teh point is.

Teh point is Mirose his flight to NY City leaves in 15 minutes so Maorise shuold ring for a taxi to get to the hairyport from his hotel room (witch is where he is now).


Friday, 5 October 2012

Guest post by Mycroft

It may seem that I have been somewhat derelict in my duties as a "guest blogger" on my brother's esteemed weblog (i.e., this one). And indeed I have not posted anything at all this year. And it's already October.

And yet, there's been so much to do. The budget. Immigration policy. The deficit. And the honourable leader of her majesty's loyal opposition keeps existing, which is really too vexing.

But that's just excuses. Truth is, if I visit Maurice's weblog, I end up reading his prose. And that just drives me to tears. And not in a good way, I can tell you.

But here I am ... currently in London, in Maurice's somewhat spectacular new Greenwich house. I was initially confused as he insists on calling it a "hosue". Did he mean Castle Hosue in Hereford? Or Hosue Nature House Yamabiko in Japan? Turns out it was just a typo. Who'd have thought?

Eh, it's been good to be in London. Been in America for a few months. At least they know how to drive on the right side of the road here, which is to say the left hand side. And meetings with people from ... certain agencies ... relating to ... trade ... have gone well. Despite Maurice leaking my text messages to him (lucky I tell him little of real importance...). And it's been good to be away from the office for a bit. Don't have Julia constantly popping by with new bits of work for me. Could get used to this!

Oh, and the ENO. Good to be able to go see a few performances. And to call into Berry Bros & Rudd for a bottle or two of something ... such as a few bottles of Haut-Brion. Or maybe some Krug. Perfect!

But ... can't! The budget deficit won't solve itself. And the leader of the opposition is still his usual contrary self. So, will have to go back to Canberra soon. But not this week. Or next week.

Monday, 17 September 2012

Mirose his greenwitch hosue.

MON AMIGOS!!!1! Muarise is apologise for teh long brake in posts. He has mutch sekrit inwestigating been doing ... he coven of Templars found hidden in the Tunnels of teh London Metro. He wishes he could more here abuot tihs postinate, but alas, it mutch sekrit is. He willl tell you as soon as he can.!!

Eh bien. Merise has had many friends write, email or wring to ask abuot his new hosue in London. Rather than reply to tehm All separately, he thought he wuold a wobleg post here about it right. As you aware might be, he into tihs new hosue moved on teh 25th July, & instantly problems had. EG: no furniture, no food, etc, as NATURALLY he assumed taht these tihngs would come wiht the hosue (tehy were there when he the house inspectinated with the rael estate agent.).

Eh bien. He quickly over these problems over came. He & his associate Agley were quickly abel to solve tehse problems quickly. We fuond some wery chic antiques stores, & also wisited teh Bermondsey market. It all wery much exciting was. Morrise has not had so mutch excitement since last time he boughted himself a new house & had to it furnish!!!1!!

He has gone for an elegant c18thcentury theme, wich Muarise thinks is much elegant. And indeed, it is so. He himslef painted teh walls in elegant pastel shades (egg shell blue, chiltern white, edwardian lemon, grecian white, ,,,, so many chic colors mes amis!!!?!?!

He has sanded down teh floor boreds, and wiht the help of Agley, sanded them so they most beautiful look. He then positioned his elegant authentic 18thcentury fruniture around his new hosue.

The pride of tihs new hoseu is teh library. At the moment, teh shelves are may be not as full as they couold be, but Mirose is determinated to build up a BIG colection of esoteric , rare & waluable books about teh Templars & other esoteric subjects ... including many of Moarise his other specialities e.g. film & TV in teh pre-Roman period, neolithic spacecraft, etc, etc, etc.. It much magnifique will be when Mirose has more books assembled & he cannot wait for tihs all to be finished.

Also on teh ground floor as well as the librarary is teh kitchen, teh dining room, teh longeu room & teh study. oN teh 1st floor (teh one immeadiately above teh ground floor ) is four bed rooms, a bathroom. On teh 2nd floor (teh one two floors above teh ground floor) is two more bedrooms, another study, another librarty & storadge space. Teh hosue also has a cellar wich Mirose has made suitable to be a wine cllar & already had it stocked wiht magnifique whines.

Teh longue room Mirose is wery proud of . He managed to find some bautiful silk-covered C.18th.Century longues, & a beautiful chippendale sidetable, & several magnifique potted palms. He also a wondreful cabinet to display part of Mirose his extensive beret colelction has installed.

Just before his inwestigations in teh london underground/"TUBE" he scoured art gallerys & many magnifique & authentique 18th & 19th century paintings boughted ... including some wery famous names... Mirose does n't like to "DROP NAMES' but he will mention J.M.W. Stubbs .... Joshua Turner .... George Reynolds ... amongst other s .... magnifuqe & worthy  of the genyius of Mirose.

EH BIEN. Tahts all FOR NOW. Mirose leaves for NY (NEW YORK) wery soon.

Saturday, 18 August 2012


MES AMIS .... this wobleg post has been many daeys in teh planning & Mierhose & his bon ami Agleì are much excited to it with you share. Aglie was so excited taht he tried to tie Meirose to his chair and throw away Mirose his laptop comptutor when Mawrise said taht he would a wobleg post abuot this be writinating. Eh bien, luckily, Moarose managed to get free.

Eh bien. A few days ago when we in a cafe were around sitting ahving brakefast, Agly explaininated that teh Olémpic Games were in fact a Templar Conspiraracy. Mierose insistatinated taht tihs we must indeed of cuorse check out. SO Aglei booked us boht tickets to a badmington matche so taht we into teh olélympic stadium could sneak in undectinated. Mirose had to pretendinate to be interested in badminton: quite a difficult ask, even for a geynius such as Mororse (littel known fact: nobody is interested in badmington, not even the players). But some-how, he tihs remarkable feet managed.

Eh bien. Teh main point is taht Morose & Ageli were abel to buy "tickets": to an "ol;ympic ewent" & go a long just liek any ohter punter, & tehy stopped by teh Templars were not. Once inside, we abel to sneak away from teh game were, & wander around teh stadyium . Mirose quickly found a sekrit door witch lead down to stairs going down in a downwards direction. Mawrise & Agley were abel to take tehse stairs down to teh lower levels below teh Olélympic stadium & find many sekrit tunnels & rooms taht clearly were made by teh Templars for teihr own sinsiter, shady sekrit actiwities. Witch do not, of course, include badmington. Even teh Templars find badmington borring.

We wondered around for several days. After a few days it became clear taht we were lost & cuold not find teh way out. Even thuogh we little supplies had & were in grave danger of running out we our IMPROTANT work kept up. All taht we too intrepid explorers had were:
Mirosses contriubution was OF CUORSE teh most practical & useful. Stupid nongenius Agleiu bringing along marsbars!!!!! Hah!!!!!?!!?!!!1!! Mirose had to show him teh error of his ways by eating tehm all wehn he wasnt looking. Tihs annoyed Aglei wery mutch even when Mirose calmly him reminded taht it OK for Merrese to do so was becuasse Moerose a grate geynius is.

Mierose (grudgingly) agreed to sharinate teh shampain wiht Aglei.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Whilst in teh tunnels tehy many interwesting Templar sekrists fuond. Aglei stumbled across a heap of discareded sekrit manuscripts withc we purloined. We also managed to infiltrate a sekrit Templar meeting & hide up teh back making notes abuot their diabolical plans for London for teh next 2,000 years following on from teh Olylmpiucs. Tehse included many sekrit & devious plans including:

  • Replacing teh Lord Mayor of London wiht an unelected Templar 
  • Forcing teh banks to engage in unethical & Riskey trading taht wuold bring teh entire finantcials system to its knees, allowing teh Templars to step in & Take control (seems unliekly theylll manage tihs!!!!1!)
  • Increase the cost of taxi rides by 1.118211111111% (Agleu says teh number 1,118,211,111,111 is of GRATE significants to Teh Templars but wont say why. Stupid nongeynius.)
Eh bien. That all of grate interewest & significance was though it became difficult to concentrate as Moarose was slowly STARVING TO DAETH. However, ewentually, we able to find teh exit were & luckily for you all teh grate geynius taht is Morose was saved from starving to death by finding a Small english-style cafe taht served tea & bacon sandwitches. NOT QUITE TEH USUAL LUXURY to withc this geynius used to is, but wery welcome tehn I can assureinate you!!!/1!?!!.!!

EH BIEN. Mirose is planning to stay in London for a few more days, tehn fly to New York. More soon.

A bientot!!!?!?!!!

Friday, 3 August 2012

Mierose his new Greenwitch hosue.

MES AMIS ..... as yuo might rember, Mwerise has arrivinated in sunny Londres on 25ht July 2012 AD. He mutch excitinated to see his new London hosue was , but tehre porblems imeadiately were:
  • Tehre no furniture was. Mwerise by tihs was mutch annoyed, as he had lieked teh furniture taht in teh hosue was & naturally assuminated taht tihs wiht teh house came.
  • Tehre no food in teh fridge was. Morrise naturally assuminated taht teh fridge wuold be left stocked wiht luxury food for him. But tehre wasnt even a fridge!!!1!.
  • Teh Olélympics had some stupid :"OPENING CEREMEONY" wiht fierworks taht him awake all night kept. He much annoyinated by tihs was , & tried to Lodge a NOISE COMPLIANT but teh polis at him just luaghinated.
Since he at London arrived at 1:45 AM he was TOO LATE to buyinate dinner at a restorrant, and TOO LATE to buy fruniture. SO he & Aglei had to go wihtout diner & sleep on teh floor. Mirrose was of cuorse much annoyinated.

Teh wery next day (Auguest 26th) he was abel to go shopping at teh most exlcusive antiques shoppes to mutch furniture buyinate to make his hosue wery luxurious. He also abel to buyinate food , and find teh bestest restorrants in teh region,.

ALSO Mórrise has himslef a new Jagular XF boughted. Teh one wiht teh 5,0L V8 SC engine. And teh Bowers & Wilkins suond system. Muariwse wiht it mutch happy is & even Agliè it mutch likes.

Eh bien. Morrise had mutch excitment in finding antique fruniture for teh hosue. He many wery beautiful peices from the late 19th Centrury found, and a few wery beaitiful peices from teh Elizabeth I period. Including a lovely oak sideboard witch wery lovely is.

Morrise & Agly went for a walk in Greenwitch park & it mutch nice is. Agley & Morise also founded a wery nice cafe near Miruce his house & their brakefast have had many times. One mroning over brakefast (bacon, eggs, coffee) Agley explaininated taht the Olélympics are a Templar conspirarcy. Mworoce will be inwestigatinating teh ... wery interwesting links between teh templars, teh rosicrucians & teh olylympics. He will alowinate Aglié too tag along too..  He will more post abuot tihs here -- as tehy say in Amorica -- watch tihs space...!!!!1!!>??!!!!.,

Friday, 27 July 2012

Teh Templars of MALTA

MES AMIS>.... Maerose wery mutch in tihs wobleg post abuot his new Hosue in Greenwitch wanted to writinate... but taht will ahve to wait. It occurs to him taht he has n't abuot teh raid on teh Templar castel in Malta wroted, or abuot teh Heroic Flight TO Freedom in teh UK taht followe.d. SO taht post most magnifique abiot his new Hosue will ahve to WAIT a few days more.

EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on  Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.

Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).

Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight  altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY  it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET  abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was. 

We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!

Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:

  • plans for Templar sekrit plans for teh next 500 years. Including how to fix the Olimpics so taht Greece wins 100% of teh gold medal,s destabilisng all world economies & leaving them abel to take control of the world.
  • A secret history of teh world by a Well Known Rosicrucian named "Elmer the Disputably Puce".
  • A map of teluric currants & how these can be used to lower your elecricity bills to low low low preices ( & also seize control of teh world -- theyre working on this one, but Muairse has so far managed to frustrate tehm in teihr efforst wiht this -- & Now he has more sekrit knowledge abuot tihs so he can tehm frustrate even More. And, also, lower his power bills.)
  • A manuscript in acient greek  detailing teh links between teh templars, teh rosicrusians, & teh Ford Motor Company .
  • A manuscropt in Etruscan abuot how teh Templars planned to control world financial systems wiht a plan taht would hatch in 1100 AD -- witch fortunately did not succeed!!!!!  

Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.

It wery bad was.

Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.

He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.

Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius  of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken  nongeynius aiport.

Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.

At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Moaroses GRANDE new hosue in SUNNY SE10.

Merise has just finished celebratinating "Bastille Day" (en Anglais: la Fête Nationale........). It wery good was, & Maorise too mutch Romaee-Conti dranked.

Eh bien, taht not teh point is. Evwen though Moarose enjoyinated celebratinating teh Festival of teh French republique, he here to tell you abuot buying a hosue in teh Untied Kingdom is. And taht is waht he will do.

Eh bien. As regular raeders might rember, Moarise wanteded to buyinate a hosue in Londres. he had decidinated taht he would buy teh bestest hosue on teh market, evwen if it wuold bankr-upt him for ever&ever because a geynius of his stature would not for 2nd best settle. BUT, he was GAZUMPED by some non-geyniyuys "busyness man".

Muarhose was of cuorse by this much upset. BUT he has raelised taht , actually, it a Blessing In Dis-Guise was. Why, you may ask, mes amis???

  • It ment Moarose would not bank rupt for ever&ever be <-- witch would be wery bad
  • Morece managed to grabbinate £20,000 from teh rich busyness man's limousin, so he acutally came out of tihs ahead financially
  • He a wery chic hosue in "SE10" (a.k.a. Greenwitch) has founded.
Tahts rite. Maorise a wery chic hosue in SE10 has foundinated. And he wiht it is much pleased.

It wery elegant in an contemprorary Elizabeth Ist style is, with much wood panneling & wery ornate fireplaces is. It wery spacious is, wiht 8 bedrooms, three studies, four withdrawing rooms (+ four depositing rooms to balance out all tohse withdrawing rooms)), six bathrooms, two dinning rooms & a wery elegant chefs style "cuisiner"/kitchen in witch Moaruise can already imagine himslef cooking up many elegant  diners for him & his many litererararary/intelectual freinds.... even thuogh he yet to move in has.

Taht;s not all, mes amis. Miurose is also tihnking of buyinating a country re-treat in teh Untied Kingdom. First he must up some muny save (maybe he cuold publish anohter hot bestcellar book!! Taht wuold make lots of muney for him).

Eh bien. Mirose will tell you more as it happenates. As it is now, I back in Malta am on holyday wiht mon associate Agly. Have found mutch of interest abuot teh TEMPLARS & teh KNIGHTS OF MALTA but Uglîe said taht Meroce must not abuot Maeroses post on his wobleg & taht he raelly ment this & taht he wuold not includinate Muarise in any off his secret Templar studies in future if Muarise this did. Stupid nongeynius Aglei. Muarhose, he a GRATER geynius is.

Thursday, 5 July 2012


Mes amis,..... a tragedie most tragique has occurinated... let me you tell....

Mes amis... Moarose has taken a break from his holiday in Malta to a hosue in London buy.

He is in teh charming city of Londres, England so he can find himslef a hosue that is worthy of his geynius. But he porblems hit even before he he arrivinated. He searched for porperties on teh intern-net taht might of his geynius be worhthy.

BUT he quicjkly founded taht he was priced out of teh top end of teh market!!!?!@1?!?!??????!!! This was inconceivable!!.!?! INCONCEIVABLE!?!????!!!@@ It could not be! Mwaroce a grate geynius is, & so teh best of everything shuold have.

SO it did n't take him long to come to teh conclussion taht he would just have to buyinate teh bestest house possible, even if it bank rupted him for ever& ever. It worth it would be. It would teh message send taht tihs geynius would not settel for 2nd or 3nd best.

SO he around searched & tihs hosue found:

Quality 12 bedroom property for sale in Campden Hill, Kensington, London, W8 - unmodernised, garden, tennis court, garage, planning permission, swimming pool, wine cellar, cottage, country house - Price on application

So he looked at teh web-sight listing & he it much lieked. It was worhtyt of teh geynius of Morrose. So he a viewing of teh porpety arranginated, and indeed he it on Tuesday managed to inspectinate wiht teh Real Estate Agent. He an extensive tuor of teh hosue had & he it much lieked, so he an offer of £42,000,000 to teh real estate agent maded. Teh unreal estat agent was wiht tihs mutch happy, so we back to his car went.

Unfrotunately, taht is when tihngs started to go worng. A car next to us pulled up & Marose by it was much annoyed as it had wery loud rap music playinating which Merose annoyed. SO he went over to complain & TEHN he noticed taht this car -- a big Limousin -- was FULL OF CASH -- all £50 & £100 notes, too, mes amis -- Mjwrose would tohse recognise any where,.

Tehn a man wiht short dark hair & dark glasses got out of teh car. He was wearing a black suit & blakc tie, & looked intimidatating. Maorise was certain he a gun had.

"Hello," he said, "am wery important Russkiĭ business man & am to be havink absolutely no connection to KGB or Russian Mafia, da?" Teh real estat agent noded nerviously. "Am vantink to buy house, da? Pay cash, is good, da?"

Again teh rael estate agent nodded, but thihs time maybe more excitidely tahn nervously.

"Good. Am offer  £100,000,000 for tihs hosue, in cash, no qvestions, da? You accept, da?"

Marose was just abuot to explain explanitorially taht he had an offer on teh hosue made, & also he a grate geynius was, so tihs gentelman it could not ahve, when teh rael estate agent push me aside & said "Yes, of course, sir, that would do nicely."

Móarose was abuot to protest, but he had been pushed off to one side. Maorose! Teh grate geynius!!! Of course he reacted wiht teh calmness & composure for which he is famous. He went back & protested his case most calmly. Maorose might ahve slightly hit tehm with his duck-handled walking stick. Even so, teh rael estate agent taht angry did not have to get & teh highly respected & legitimate Russian business man did not at Moarose have to shootinate. He is certain taht a few stiches are all thats need for the slight cuts to the real estate agents face, & the estate agents car will be fine once a panel beater has beaten out some of teh dents & scratches. And he only broke half teh windows on teh limousine.

Eh bien. Meorose was left to walk back to his ho-tel. Walk!! Teh indignity.

Merise he knows taht Russian business men are highly respected in U.K. business circles as being wery reliable & respectable so he not surpised taht he a hosue in teh U,.K, wanted to buyinate. But he should have realised taht Mierose was teh grater geynius of teh two, & Conceded tihs house to Maoroçe.

On teh bright side, Maorise was abel to grab several handfulls of £100 notes in teh confusion (wiht money flying everywhere) wehn he broke teh windows of teh Russian gentlemans car & tehm in his pockets stuff. So he ahead is. By £20,000.

Mierose is tihinking of maybe a hosue in Greenwich buying. Okay, so may be it not quite as glamorous as Kensignton is, but at least tihs way he will not himself bankrupt for ever & ever.

And may be he should also a country estate some wherre in teh English cuountryside most charming.

Or maybe he shold his town hosue in Edinborough buyinate???

Decisions, mes amis, decisions....!!!1!

Monday, 2 July 2012

Le Magnifique Londres abode de Mewrise

Mes amis... you might on Twitter(TM) or FaceBook(TM) have Miroce;s tweets abuot buyinating a hosue in London ahve read. Yes, thats right, Morose is tihnking abuot buying a hosue in London. Rember, you read it here first. Unless you raed it on twitter first, in witch case you read it there first.

Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is that Mirhose he rather an Unplaesent shock got when he for houses started to look. Teh most exclusive, top-of-teh range porperties, tehy were OUT of teh price range of Mirohjse!! Tihs was an outrage!!!1!!?!?!? a catastrophey!!?!?!?!?!?@>!>?@!?!

This is one of the 1st hosues he looked at:

Orchard Court
Portman Square London, EN W1H 6LG United Kingdom
$18,273,717 USD / £11,750,000 GBP

OKAY, so it a magnifique apratment is... but $18M?!?!?!?! Not tres bien. Tres bad.

LUCKILY he fuond many wery chic hosues such as tihs one in New Road, LONDRES E1 for a mutch more raisonable £1,500,000. Mutch better, and Morose is shure taht E1 is a wery trendy upmarket area of London.

He also found one in a jam factory(?!?!?!???!) witch despite teh odd setting was wery modern & chic & Morose lieked it mutch. PLUS it only £950,000 only was, whitch mutch reasonabable is. It in somewhere called "SE1" is. Meroise does not know where this is, but assumes it must be in North West London. And Mierose assumes he would much free jam samples get from teh jam factory, which would be tres bien.

He also tihs one in "SE26" lieks.. ALMOST worthy for Moarose!!1!

But tehn.. Morose had a REALISATION. He was settling for 2nd best. Maybe evwen 3rd best. And tihs Mojorse will NEVER do. NEVER. OH NO, mes amis, he will not be sidelined or bested. He must be teh bestest. As he teh gratest geynius is.

SO, he decidinated, whatever teh cost, he will teh most expensive hosue in Londres get. Even if it bankrupts him & he in it in penury for teh rest of his life ahs to live. It wuold be worht it.

SO, tehn he looked again at teh wobsite. He saw tihs one in Kensington for £30,000,000 but Moarhoce will NOT be fooled into buying a MERE apratment for taht much muny, no siree.

But tehn he saw TIHS PLACE:
And it magnifique is.

Finally, a hosue worthy of Morose!! He will not skulk in teh shadows!!!1! He will not be beaten or 2nd bested!! NO SIREE,. He will his CitationJet to London tomorrow flyinate, and buy teh hosue immeadiatly. Watch tihs space...........

Saturday, 30 June 2012


Mes amis... Mjerise has much amazinating things to relate to all his eager fans.

Eh bien... Morose on Malta a much amazinating discowery has discovered. Whilst he was here, he heard abuot something called "TEH MALTESER FALCON".

INITIALLY Meroçe thought taht this MALTESE FALCOLN a rare bird was, and asked teh locals where he cuold it see. But Agliè explained explanitorially taht actually it a rare sculpture was that was maded by teh TEMPLARS in 1539.

Aglíe quoted from his famuous book The Templars and the Secret History of Europe since 1300 : "In 1539 the Knight Templars of Malta, paid tribute to Charles V of Spain, by sending him a Golden Falcon encrusted from beak to claw with rarest jewels——but pirates seized the galley carrying this priceless token and the fate of the Maltese Falcon remains a mystery to this day."

HMMM... much intrigueinating, mes amis ....

Mes amis, Mierhose abuot this much thought. OKAY, OKAY so it had for many centruries been lost. BUT a geynius such as Moerose had not for it looked, and that much different is. Merjose knewhe would succedinate where others had failed... he knew it. Thats what makes HIM a geynius!!!1!

Eh bien, after much inwestingating he fuond a man in a tiny antiques markret called M. Bogart Spade. HE teh Maltese falcon knew where it was, and togherteher they were abel to it track down.


Eh bien, but that not entirely abuot Mierose is & is tehrefore boring so Mierojse will not botherinate to abuot you all tihs TEDIOUS stuff abuot finding it narrate, as it much tedious is. Teh IMPROTANT thing is that Merise is a grate geynius, & it was his inteligant detectoring taht led to him finding teh MALTESE FALCON. Hidden in a box of Maltesers.

Eh bien, teh important bit is taht Merose (a grate genius) had got teh Maltese falcon, not who broke into what millionaire's house, or any rubbish liek taht.

Well, now he it had, he had teh MALTESE FALCON , he needed to decidinate what to whith it do. 

Much difficult, mon ami, even for a geynius of Mèorose's stature. 

It an object of much power is. 

But it also much waluable is, & Maeruce couold wiht teh money do. SO, he cuold also it sell. And Aglie in it was much interested.

BUT did Morośe want to taht much power to Uglie want to give?!?!?!??? He cuold not decidinate. Ewentually, thuoght, Muerise decided to risk it wehn Âglei an undisclosed but large sum (€9,620,000.99) for it offered to pay. It too much of a good offer was to refusinate. So he it to Aglie sold.

NOw I just need to what to with the muny do figure out.

MORE EXCITING NEWS SOON... including more abuot Merisse his MALTESE HOLYDAY. Also, he maybe is tihnking abuot buying a hosue in teh Untied Kingdom.

Wednesday, 6 June 2012


MEs amis... Merise has in MALTA been for a few weeks ... but alas, taht NON GEYNIUS most irritatating Aglie has insistinated taht Marwice about what they have been doing not wobleginate , as he says taht teh tihngs tehy are inwestigatinating are " too sekret " to publish all over teh internets , and also , tihs might teh Templars & Knights of Malta  " tip off " taht we inwestigations here are doing.

Stupid non-genius. Meriawse, he teh grater geynius is. Eh bien, he has managed to get a few hours a-lone, so he will a wobleg post writinate now, whilst Aglei he watching is not.

Eh bien. Merise & Agley ahve found much to occupy tehmself in Malta... Meirise is planninating an ENTIRE BOOK based on teh sekrets he has uncowered here  -- thats right mes amis, theres taht much sekret conspiracies going on here. Both teh TEMPLARS and teh KNIGHTS OF MALTA are here & tehy up to no good are.

Merise he does not want to spoil teh suspense of waiting for his booke on teh subject, but here are some of the things Agly & He are discoverinating:

TEH KNIGHTS OF MALTA are plotinating to take control of teh wrold .. but unfrotunately so are teh Knights templars . It'd be conwenient if both of tehm agreed to cooperate, but noooo... they cant agreeinate on any-tihngs. Witch is good for teh wrold, otherwise they might succedinate. Witch would be bad.

Teh knights templars want to hi-jack Telewision broad-casts in Europe & hypnotise everyone . Teh knights malta tihnk tihs is silly & want to put mind-control chemicals in teh pot noodles.

Tehse disagreements ahve led to them arguing in teh streets. Agly & Morose saw a punch - up between a gruop of KNIGHTS TEMPLARS & a gruop of KNIGHTS OF MALTA just teh day before yesterday. Tehy kept pulling eachohters beards.

Teh knihts of Malta have also some remote control aeroplanes boughted to do aeriel servellence & aerial attacks. Agley finds tihs much worrying. He worrys taht it tehm will teh " upper hand " give (wahtever taht means... stupid non-geynius Agleu).

EH BIEN... MORE SOON. Must stop, Aglie is coming back now. Must post tihs & TEHN look inocent so he doestn suspectinate ANYTHING.

ps also Aglei didn't enjoy teh plane flight. Stupid non-geynius. Merise is a GEYNIUIS pilot.

Saturday, 12 May 2012

Merises NEW JOB -- editor of teh "ESOTERIC HISTORY" series of books @ MANITIUS PRESS!!!1!

MES AMIS!! Arrivinated in Malta. Aglie, he is much certain taht there is much Templar actiwity happening on teh island of Malta. He says, taht he Templar plots can smell from a mile off.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point of tihs wobleg post is though. Abiuot taht will Mjerose wobloginate WERY WERY SOON. But just not now.

NO, mes amis., teh point of tihs wobleg post is to spaek about MErise ihs wisit to his publisher in Milan -- taht is Manutius. Merise spent a few days in Milan , and he much work tehre got done. he overseeing teh public-ation of his NEW BOOKE ,which out will be coming wery soon , and workin g on co - ordinating  teh new series of books " ESOTERIC HISTORY " taht he is for Manutius books co - ordinating. HERE are just TWO (2) of teh titles organisanised so far:

  • Templars, Pot-Noodles and the New World Order, 1500-1980. Agliè de St Germaine & Muarice de Perfossor. Publication date: 01/09/2012.
  • Rosicrucians, Roswell and the Race into Space: Space Exploration since 1100. Arnaud de Saint-Estèphe. Piublication date: 07/10/2012
  • The Knights Who Don't Say "Ni": The Teutonic Knights and the Modern Movie Industry. Wilhelm Normand Bergenstein. Puvlication date: 29/11/2012.
.. and taht's just teh tip of teh ice-berg , as teh captian of teh Titanic said.

Rember. You raed it here 1ST.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Mwerises SUMER HOLIDAYS....!!!!1!

MES AMIS... for teh past few days , Moaroçe has been decidinating where to go on his SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tahts right, SUMER HOLIDAYS. Tres exciting, Morese knows... He can hardly his excitement contain.

He was decidinating between teh following destinations:
  • Corsica
  • Malta
When he discused tihs wiht his asociate Ágliè, he saided taht Malta had much association with teh Templars, teh Rosicrucians & teh Knights of Malta & tehre many sekrit conspiracies there centred are. Wery interesting. Most interesting, mes amis....

SO, of cuorse, Meriese has on teh basis of this decided to go to MALTA. It much exciting is. Merowse canot wait.

SO, instead of waiting, he has decidedinated to leave NEXT WEEK. It will a wery early summer holiday be.

Merise plans to fly. Aglie insisted taht a CRUISE SHIP wuold be more luxurious but Maeröse agrees does not. He once went on a sea cruise  in Sidney. It not luxurious was. Teh seats were uncomfortable & teh ship smelled of Diesel.  Tihs "LUXURY CRUISE " (from Sidney to Manley) was not teh sort of luxury to witch Mowrise is acustomed.

ALSO, Merise has bad memories of his sea voyage on teh S.S.Cado, many years ago...

Merise has rembered taht he bought himslef a Piper CitationJet C4 some thyme ago. He tihnks taht he will flyinate to MALTA in tihs... taht's right, he will fly Air Mäwríòse. Marice tihnks taht "CAPTAIN MÉRRHISE" ahs a GOOD SOUND to it. Aglie ( who also wants to come ) is not wery happy about flying, but Merise is certain he will love Moerose's cute littel Jet Plane.

EH BIEN. Taht is all for now. Merise leaves next Wednesday. He will keep you infromed.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Teh birthday praty of Mwerise.

As promised, mes amis, Miroçe is going to writinate abuot his brithday praty most magnificent taht he just recently has had.

OKAY, OKAY, a few things, they did not to plan go. Merise had inwited over 45,00 people, and only of them 10 turned up. This was not good. But teh ten taht did turn up includeded many of Merjoses bon amis, so tihs okay was. M. Burlosconi attended, as did M. Tony & M Cheri Blair. Also present was Mieroses aquaintance/asociate Âglie de St-Germaine.

Mirhjose , he had payed for a chef & cooks to preparinate teh food. Much as Mwerise is a geynius in teh kitchen, there was too too too much work for him. ESPECIALLY as it his brithday was , and he injoying himself was mean t to be, NOT cooking in teh kitchen. He did try to give teh chef teh benefit of his wisdom by constantly providing adwice on cooking, but teh chef oddly did not seem to tihs apreciatinate. Ewentually, he pointed out taht such tihngs were beneath teh geynius of Marośe. A point wiht witch Merice coud hardly disagreeinate!!!1!!?!

Eh bien. Teh diner, it was magnificent. As were teh whines, which Merose organdised himself. Tehse were ALL from teh 1963 wintage -- same as Morise!!1! Thats right mes amis -- Moerise turned 43 tihs year!!1!~! Moarose particularly like teh Krug 1963, as well as teh Romanee-Conti 1963. Aglie preferianted teh Lafite-Rotschild 1963.

Eh bien. DId Maorŵse mention taht the dinner, it most magnifique was????!?@!? Eh bien,. it was.

Here are a sample of some of teh many, many courses, prowided by teh chef. Apologies for teh bad spelling, teh chef is not a geynius.

  • Wild salmon with teriyaki sauce, served with oyster mushrooms and sautéed bok-choy and sprinkled with caramalised Macadamia nuts
  • Carpaccio of beef with baby betroot and a salad of oranges and rocket, and a dijon mustard dressing
  • Battered whiting served with a homemade aioli and kiplfer potatoes
  • Duck, braised in sherry, served with wild mushrooms, aubergine puree, young leeks, and crème fraiche
  • Slow-cooked pork loin, caramelised and served with hazelnut paste, sautéed cep mushrooms, caramlised parsnips and crème fraiche

Eh bien, mes amis... you get teh picture. It is not as good as teh cooking of Mwerise (WHo after all is a geynius in teh kitchen) but it wery, wery good was. In fact, it was magnifique,. Aglie raved abuot teh venison with juniper and stilton sauce, aparently he thuohgt it much good was,. Mwerise, being MUCTH more sophisticated, was not impressed.

The praty it started wiht lunch at just before mid-day & did not finnish until 8 A.M. teh next mornign. Magnifique!!!1! ANd then many of teh guests stayed for brakefast. Tehn lunch. Many did not leave until teh 3rd -- 3 DAYS AFTER, mes amis.

And Moárose, he loved evry minute of it. He will postinate more abuot his presents wery soon.

BUT FIRST, as raeders of Merice his TWITTER FEED will know, Mjerise has been offerinated a job by his publisher, teh esteemed press Manutius, to edit a series of books called "ESOTERIC HISTORY". Tehse will cover teh Templars, Rosicrucians and other littel-known bits of history. Merose is even contemplating writing one himslef... on neolithic spacecraft... a return to teh subject on witch he did his PHD.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

birthday praty preparations

MES AMIS ... teh birthday praty prepararations of Mwerise are almost, almost, almost completinated.  Teh cehf will wery soon be serving lunch to all teh assembled guests.

So far only three people have arrivinated -- Muawrise (IE, MOI), Aglîe &  Burlisconi. Mjerise hopes teh others arive RAEL SOON ,, but he has had teh chef lay places on teh table for them.

Unfortunately Mioroses friend Mr Ian Fleming has said taht unfortuantely he cannot come, on acuount of him being dead,. Mewrise does not believe tihs, it is just an excuse.

Eh bien. Teh excitement is almost to much for Muarose. ALMOST. Today is teh 39th birthday of Merise . Taht means today he has 39 years of age!!1!

It all wery exciting is. Aglie already a card for Mierose has boughted. It much magnifique is. And a BON AMI on facebook a virtual birthday card wihc also amazing was.

Did Moròse mention taht today he turns 46? It much exciting is. His 46th brithday praty!

Teh meal teh chef is making looks wery good. Merise was constantly in teh kitchen trying to give teh chef adwice, but he didn;t seem grateful. He even shouted at Moarose!! Even though Moriwse a much grater geynius than he is!!!1! Eventually, he pointed out to Morose taht such tihngs were beneath teh geynius of Mŵrise, which true is,. Still, he wery excited abuot teh meal is,. AND all teh wines are from the 1963 wintage . Just like MOIROSE!!!



Mes amis... teh long a-waited BIRHTDAY of Merise has arivinated. It to-day is!!1!

Eh bien. Muarhose was borned on teh 1ST April 1963. Taht means taht, as of To-Day, Mjrose is now 43 yaers of age!!1! Tres exciting, mes amis....

Mearise will postinate a wobleg post TIHS EVENING after teh brithday praty...........!!!!!1!?!?!!

Saturday, 31 March 2012


Mes amigos... Mjerhoce has a most fantasic month had here in sunny Provence. He certainly much glad to back here be!!!1! Tehre much exciting going on is ( he in negotitaitiatiaatiotions to buy a painting by Mr. Wincent Wan Gough from his associate Aglie is, for E.G. ) but taht not teh point of tihs post is.

NO, mes ami... You might have seen teh date on tihs wobleg post. It Sun Mar 31 is.

You might ahve rembered teh BIRTHDAY of taht GRATE GEYNIUS Merose. It April 1st is.

(Mwerise was born on 1st April 1963. An improtant date in world history!!!)!)

You see where tihs is going mes amis? NO? Well, maybe it takes a geynius of teh stature of Maurise. Yes, mes amis, to morrow is teh birthday of MUARHOSE, internationally famuos GEYNIUS.

EH BIEN. Muarhose has spent teh last week in a whirl-wind of activity. He is organisianisaing a surprise birthday praty for himself!!!!1! It magnifique will be. He has many of his freind inwited, including (but not limited to):

  • Aglie de Saint-Germaine, who will be well - known to existing raeders
  • Tony Blair, an old ami... and ex Prime-MInister of the U.K.
  • Silvio Burlisconi, who Muarhose thought a much excelent president of Italiay was (at least, he told Marhose taht he was, and Mirose sees no reason to disbelieve him)
  • Angela Merkel, another old freind
  • Nicholas Sarkozy, teh most excelent president of France
  • Sir David Cameroon, most excelent current president of the U.K.
  • Mr Ian Fleming, teh famuos author
... and many, many more. It magnifique will be. Even though Moarhose a incredibly large wine cellar here has, he much more wine extra has to order in. Even thouhgh he a geynius chef is, he a caterererer has got in, to cater for teh many improtant & influential guest has. He is catering for 4,543 peopel. It quite teh party will be.

Muarhose would love to put out a blanket inwitation to ALL his wobleg readers, but unfortunately he cannot. Instead, you can all presents post by mail. A case of Romanee-Conti wuold be fine. Muarhose prefers teh 1945 wintage.

Eh bien. He will updatinate his raeders after teh praty. BUT he conwinced it a TRIUMPH will be.

Monday, 20 February 2012

Mwerise in Argentina... again...

MES AMIS... Muarhoiŝe is now back in Parrhys, France, after a short stay in his estancia in Argentinina.Though he shuold note taht his stay in Paris will also only wery short be as teh weather here is cold for some reason. Marise did not expectinate taht Paris wuold be cold in Ferbruary. Buenos Aires was not cold in Februaruary. Why should Paris be?!?!?????

EH BIEN. That not teh point of this post is. The point is, Mjerose has wisited his estancia in Argenittina again. Teh wineyard tehre was planted just abuot a year ago, and it starting to grow much healthily and well is. He still disapointed is taht the manager there was to stupid to recognise the genius of Maroces idea to plant a pinot noir wineyard in teh middle of a river was , but he will still happy be wiht what the mediocre non-geynius manager bothers to plant is. Muarhose does not hold grudges against lesser minds. Stupid non geynius mediocre managers. Huh.

Nonetheless, he for many walks through teh wineyard wiht his non-geynius manager went. He canot waitinate to harvest it & have wine made (he will leave tihs task up to teh manager, as it is below teh geynius of a geynius such as Muârośe).

He treated himslef to flyinating back to Paris 1st class on Aero VIP  rather than his ususal airline Atterissage Force. MUCH BETTER. Although also much more expensive. Still, Moarhose could get used to this.

Leaving for Provence soon mes amis....!!.!1!

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Greetings from Argentininia.

Mes amis..... Morhose is now in ARgentina. He a wery exciting few days in Sidney just haded... He got to stay in his Sidney apratment again, and wisit his neigh bours there. Wery magnifique. BUT... BUT... he now conwinced taht 3 days is TOO SHORT for a wisit to Australie. Next time, he will schedulinate at least five days. May be more. He now KILLER JET LAG has , and it not wery good is.

Sadly tihs time he did not get to wisit his non-geyniius brother Mycrcoft . He had hoped to, but teh drive to Canbera, it too long was. Maurhose wanted to -- he even started to drive off -- but he got bored after only driving half an hour, and something else decidinated to do. He instaed decided to wisit a good restuarant in Sydney and a good lunch ahve. SO he this did. And it magnifique was.

EH BIEN. Taht the past is . ANd MOREOSE he cares NOT about teh past.!!!!!!!! No, he cares for it NOT AT ALL> Tahts because he dynamic is, & is always moving forward,

Eh bien, Ratatoskr has just reminded Moarhose taht he a famuos archaeologist & noted historian is. Which meant taht of course he cares abuot teh past in taht sense. But not in any other. In particular, he doesnot particularly care about going over and over and over and over teh ewents of teh past few weeks. Tehy boring are. Tehy of NO CONSEQUENCE are. Mirwse is  MOVING FORWARD!!!!!!!!1>.

Merhoce has forgotted teh point of tihs post. AH yes, he rembers. He now in Argentina is. APARENTLY, teh wintage here is wery soon, so he will wisit his Estancia && check taht teh harvest will be being done properly. He much enthuisaistc abuot tihs is. He CANT WAIT to try his new Argentinian whines. Tehy magnifique will be.

For  now, though, he enjoyinating beying in Bueonsos Aeries is. It a magnifique town is, and Muarece wisiting it it much enjoys, despite teh KILLER JET LAG which aflicting him is.

May be he shuold here more thyme spend!!!1!!.1,>

EH BIEN. But he canNOT , alas. He must back to Paris in a few days go (On teh 8/2/2012).

A bientot

Thursday, 12 January 2012

A exciting discovery at Castello Muerhise di Umbria... Roman Whine

Mes amis... Maorhose was inwestigatinating some of teh cellars at his castel here in Umbria... and he found sometihng wery exciting! A faslse wall! Tahts right! A false wall! Mweroce knew it something must be hiding, so it wery carefully demolishinated.

After collecting up all teh rubble taht had fallen on top of Morose (Stupid masonary, it knows not what a grate geynius Meerhose is!!1!!?!?_) he walked into tihs sekret hidden room. And he it a whine cellar found out it to be. An ANCEINT wine cellar. Thats right, teh whines were all ROMAN. Mostly from teh wery, wery celebrated wintage of 121BC, too , mes amis. Tehre many amphorae of whines are, and Morhose of cuorse could not waitinate to tehm taste. Muarhose was of cuorse particularly excited abuot teh Falernian wine , biut tehre also was Alban wine  and Caecuban_wine. He much excited was .

MES amis. It took GREAT EFFORT, even for a geynius such as Moarhose, to not open all teh amphorae and drink them all & then & there &. BUT some-how , , Mourhase himself restrained. He a wery special evening planed, & inwited many of his tres bon amis, includinating his oldest Ami, Aglié. Tihs dinner, it was scheduled for TUESDAY 11HT JANUARY. Tahts rite, mes amis, taht was YESTREDAY.

Eh bien. It magnifique was. Especialy wiht Moarhoses cookinating most magnifique. His escargot wehre particularly popular.

And teh wines!! Muahrose broughted out his best Riedel glasses, whihc not wery auhtentically Roman was, but was magnifique nonetehless. Aglei was particularicularly enthusiastic about teh 121BC Falernian  ' austerum '. Maurhose agreed taht tihs was magnifique, but preferinated teh 121BC Caecuban. It magnifique was, and complemented teh roast partridge taht wiht it Muarhose had served.

Mes amis... tehre were many many amphoerae of these, so luckily Muahrose more for anohter day has. May be next thyme he will compare it wiht teh 809BC Caves des Templiers Hermitage , which he also still a few remaining amphorae of has.

Eh bien... taht is all for now. MAY BE, mes amis, Moarhose will postinate abuout his NEW YEARS EVE praty some time real soon. It magnifique was. Yes, maybe he will. Even thuough he slightly maybe might have promised Aĝlie to keep it all sekret might ahve.