Friday 27 July 2012

Teh Templars of MALTA

MES AMIS>.... Maerose wery mutch in tihs wobleg post abuot his new Hosue in Greenwitch wanted to writinate... but taht will ahve to wait. It occurs to him taht he has n't abuot teh raid on teh Templar castel in Malta wroted, or abuot teh Heroic Flight TO Freedom in teh UK taht followe.d. SO taht post most magnifique abiot his new Hosue will ahve to WAIT a few days more.

EH BIEN. It all started when Aglié was invitinated to a praty at teh castel of a Well Known Templar on  Malta. He also aksed if Merise cuold also come & Teh Templar said "yes". Of cuorse, tihs inwitation it was to useful an event to Turn Down, so instaed we decided to it to Turn Up. Eh bien, it a good idea waas. NO, it a graet idea was. Which means taht entirely Maroće's idea was, & nohting to do wiht Agleî. Teh nongeynius. Eh bien, I digressinate. We had a evening most magnifique. Merise was abel to ask teh Templar many questions abuot Templar sekrits & he was indescrete enuough to answer a few of tehm after Maorose & Agelie had him wiht XO COGNAC plied. Muarise had to pretendinate to be stupid to catch teh Templar off-guard, sometihng wihtch of course he found wery difficult!!!!! But he is a geynius, so it not imposible was.

Also whilst at teh PRATY Meorise had teh ocaision to look around teh castel a bit & a few documents steal ( including a wery sekrit map ).

Tihs sucess embolded Aglei & Merise. Tehy a wery, wery good idea had. A wery good idea. So good , in fact , mes amis , taht it MUST ahve been Merośe taht of it thought & Not Ugliè. YES, tahts right, Merise thought of it. YES, tahts it. Anyway, teh idéa so magnifique taht Morose had was to braek into teh Templars ' s castel & see waht else we could stealinate. Tehre was a slight  altercation taht morning wehn Agly noticed Morose tweetinating & his laptop out teh window threw -- LUCKILY  it not damaged was, but it ment taht Moirise cuold not LIVE TWEET  abuot teh raid ,. withc a grate pity was. 

We tehre at teh Dead of Knight arrivinated, wehn every body else was a sleep. We managed to brake into teh castel as Aglei had managed to stealinate teh keys during teh praty. Moarise wore his Black Beret, which made him feel like a Sekret Agent on some " Black Ops " operation!!! Wery exciting!!!!!?!

Nonetehless, tehy some wery interesting manuscripts got, including:

  • plans for Templar sekrit plans for teh next 500 years. Including how to fix the Olimpics so taht Greece wins 100% of teh gold medal,s destabilisng all world economies & leaving them abel to take control of the world.
  • A secret history of teh world by a Well Known Rosicrucian named "Elmer the Disputably Puce".
  • A map of teluric currants & how these can be used to lower your elecricity bills to low low low preices ( & also seize control of teh world -- theyre working on this one, but Muairse has so far managed to frustrate tehm in teihr efforst wiht this -- & Now he has more sekrit knowledge abuot tihs so he can tehm frustrate even More. And, also, lower his power bills.)
  • A manuscript in acient greek  detailing teh links between teh templars, teh rosicrusians, & teh Ford Motor Company .
  • A manuscropt in Etruscan abuot how teh Templars planned to control world financial systems wiht a plan taht would hatch in 1100 AD -- witch fortunately did not succeed!!!!!  

Eh bien, at abuot 4 AM Malta thyme (GMT+2) we decidinated to leave. Unfrotunately, Áglei, not being a geynius or as skilled at "black ops" as Mörösë, managed to teh bugler alarum set off. Tihs, it not good was.

It wery bad was.

Agly decidinate taht we had to leave then & there. We into teh "get away vehicle" got & to teh hairport drovinated. Merise decidinated taht it would be a wery wery good thyme to go stay in his new Hosue in Londres. Teh polis hot on teh trail of Aglie & MErise were -- Clearly, tehy are teh corrupt vessels of teh Templars!!!!!!1!?!?!! They tried to teh run way block off but Muarise still managed to take off in his Cessna any ways.

He planned to fly to LONDON BIGGIN HILL HAIRPORT but even here tehre were problems witch were not Merises fault & were 100% Agly's fault. Agly claimed taht we needed to "book a slot" to landinate during teh Olélympics but Merise refused to be distracted by sutch RUBBISH. Maorise is a geynius & does NOT need to book. Tihs was just teh start of Agly his mistaeks.

Teh next porblem came wehn Morose noticed taht there was a fightyjet plane shadowing Marise his magnificen Cessna! Incroidable!!! At first, Morose thought they just there so they could admiere teh geynius  of Mwerise at close quarters but he wery quickly raelised taht this was not teh case. Agley claimed taht it was not O K to fly over London during teh Olimpic games, but Moarose knew tihs was rubbish. He a geynius is, & could fly anywehre. At first he hoped he could conwinse teh fightyjet pilots to just go away -- after all tehy might not have raelised that they were dealing with a geynius of Meorose s stature, & claerly once tehy did tehy would respectfully leave him alone to do wahtever he wanted -- but alas teh nongeynius fightyjet pilots were to stupid to this raelise. SO Merise eventually was forced to follow tehm & Land outside London in some out of teh way obscure foresaken  nongeynius aiport.

Tehy mutch angry wiht Merise were, & at him shouted. He teh model of composure & Calmness were, but tehy still angry were!! Tehy even their guns pulled on Moarose, witch quite un called for was. OKAY, OKAY, so maybe Merise slightly them kicked, bit & punched but still!! It was not nesissary. He is also certain taht they will be able to repair their stupid fightyjet planes ewentually.

At tihs point tehy wery angry got & started to radio for "back up". Agly suggested running away & for once Marose had to agree wiht teh non geynius. We for it ran, & got away. We tehn a taxi to Greenwitch & Morose his new hosue got. BUT tahts teh subject of a nother wobleg post .........!!!?!?!11??!!!........

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