Mes amis, THE WORST it has happened!! Muirrhyse was just his own busines minding, sitting in teh kitchen of his new country villa near Rhome, when he heard a melliflopter landing outside. Then someone the kitchen door kicked in.
Miurrhy'ses old friend Capt Jerrold von Obiwankanobe walked through the door, along with about a dozen commandos of the US Army. "Well, Muirrhyse", he said. "Pleased to meet you onse again. Let me introduce you - my friends here are members of DELTA force, and will be happy to answer any of your questions, should you be stupid enough to ask any."
Well, mes amis, Muiirhowse he was not happy. But it got wrose, mes amis, much wrose. Apparently, teh Capitan did mind Muirrhise using his credit cards and taking out loans for him. Muaerhowse ttried to explain that it should not matter, as Murrhese a great geynius is but M. le Captain he wod not listen.
M. le Kapitan, he said that he would have to seize Muirrhyses properties. He said he would graciously allowe Murrihyse to keeep one (1) house in Europe and one (1) hosue in Australiaialia, but NO MORE. Of course, to this Muirrhyse objected most severly! He tried to remain calm, and civil, but it wery hard was given the stress and the provication. Still, the soldiers did not have to respond like that - just becuse Muirrhyse had hit one of them over the head with the kitchen table, and tried to steal the gun of another so he could it use to hit them on the head with - there was no call for them to threaten to shoot!
Mes amis, MUIRRHYSE he is not sure what to do now. HE has only two weeks to PAY UP all his debts to the good Capitan and the CIA, or loose his hosues most precious. Also, he can no longer his credit cards that he from the Capitan borrowed use.
Oh noes!!! Soon Murrihse will wonce again a penniles geynius be, reducced to once more dirving around in his Lada Riva!!!
Showing posts with label revenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label revenge. Show all posts
Monday, 23 March 2009
Friday, 14 December 2007
Fun facts to know and share #56971
Maurice is not really French, he is just pretending.
I'm not tricking you. Not at all. I, Ratatoskr, really am a squirrel, and I live on Yggsdrasil. Boy oh boy did that genius Maurice mess up hiring me as his PA, rather than Hermes. Squirrels do not good PAs make. Still, great for Ratatoskr. Keeps me in acorns.
It's not exactly the first or last time that Maurice has messed up big time too.
Regards,
Ratatoskr.Squirrel
I'm not tricking you. Not at all. I, Ratatoskr, really am a squirrel, and I live on Yggsdrasil. Boy oh boy did that genius Maurice mess up hiring me as his PA, rather than Hermes. Squirrels do not good PAs make. Still, great for Ratatoskr. Keeps me in acorns.
It's not exactly the first or last time that Maurice has messed up big time too.
Regards,
Ratatoskr.Squirrel
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
Phoning Merise's editor
Merese rang his editor on the satellite phone today. I do not always with my editor get on well, so it was not as pleasant as one may expect of such a phone conversation.
After all, one would expect a lowly editor would of course be honoured to work for such a great genius as M. Muryce de Perfossor! Alas, it is not the case, mon ami. My editor, he is much annoyed with Merisse. Morase wonders if this is because he at him a chair threw last time we met. No, Merryse is convinced it is not this minor incident. Morrrise is the definition of composure at all times, and they were eventually able to rebuild their garden pagoda.
No, mes amis, it is simply that a person as mediocre can not with such a great mind, with such a genius as is Mariçe cope. No, it is beyond him and he is envious of my intellect and my fans most devoted. Maybe he is just of my red beret most wondeful envious.
Eh bien, when Meryße is off this island he will another publisher find. One who his great genius can appreciate. It will be them, not V. A. Nity Press that will publish Meryse's new messterpeice, the novel The Mouthwash of the Gods!
After all, one would expect a lowly editor would of course be honoured to work for such a great genius as M. Muryce de Perfossor! Alas, it is not the case, mon ami. My editor, he is much annoyed with Merisse. Morase wonders if this is because he at him a chair threw last time we met. No, Merryse is convinced it is not this minor incident. Morrrise is the definition of composure at all times, and they were eventually able to rebuild their garden pagoda.
No, mes amis, it is simply that a person as mediocre can not with such a great mind, with such a genius as is Mariçe cope. No, it is beyond him and he is envious of my intellect and my fans most devoted. Maybe he is just of my red beret most wondeful envious.
Eh bien, when Meryße is off this island he will another publisher find. One who his great genius can appreciate. It will be them, not V. A. Nity Press that will publish Meryse's new messterpeice, the novel The Mouthwash of the Gods!
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Jokes aside
It must have been the joke about the three nuns, the chief of police and the microwave. Maybe that, it annoyed the cpatain.
I'm wondering how I can work this into The Mouthwash of the Gods, my epic new novel. Maybe the hero of the book can tell this joke. Mawrese is certain that he, he will get a better reception for this joke than Morece ever has. Merrice has never come across any one of sufficient intellict to understand a joke so subtle yet so funny.
Maybe this palm tree will get the joke.
I'm wondering how I can work this into The Mouthwash of the Gods, my epic new novel. Maybe the hero of the book can tell this joke. Mawrese is certain that he, he will get a better reception for this joke than Morece ever has. Merrice has never come across any one of sufficient intellict to understand a joke so subtle yet so funny.
Maybe this palm tree will get the joke.
Adrift
Mes amis, I am once again alone on a desert island.
But let me relate the sad story of Morrhyse's woes once again. Marriçe was onboard the S.S. Cado, and all seemed to be going well for his rescue. But, mon ami, things seemed to go down hill for Morrace after he stole the captains bag. After that, the captain he seemed restless and much agitated. It was one dinner time when I was with the captain enjoying a witty and intelligent conversation. The capitan made a pained expression, and said "I cannot take this idiocy any longer. You know what to do."
At this, as if at some secret signal, some of the crew grabbed hold of me, and dragged me to the deck. They threw Morrhesse into the sea, and another sailor threw my bag after Mawrese. Well, mes amis, Mawrise he was distraught and did not know what to do. Clearly there had been some mistake! After all, the cpatain he had much been enjoying Mowrice's delightful conversation.
In any case, Morrhyse soon found himself on another dessert island. I still had the captains bag, but threw away everything other than the satellite telephone, the computer, the gun, the rum, the money and the hot watter botttle. So Mawrhyse can use one of the two satellite telephones he now has to connect to the internet. But how to get power!
Mawrrhese went for a walk around the island. There was plenty of food and some fresh water, luckily. Also, Morrhyse found a small ship beached on the other side of the island. This piece of luck, it was incredible! The ship was still perfectly intact and ocean-worthy. So Morryse, he was able to strip the ship to make a shelter to live in and an improvised generator for electricity. Such a task would be hard for anyone who is not a genius as Mawrrrhyse is! But I, Morrhese, am a genius and for me such a task is easily possible. After several hours tinkering with engine parts, I had a servicible generator which would run on the ships fuel or when this runs out on coconut milk. The wood Morrhyse stripped off and used to make a hut most beautiful.
Well, mes amis, once again I am stranded. If only Morrise could find a small plane or helicopter, then he could escape from this infernal island! It is an intollerable trial to be stuck away here, far away from civilisation. Also, internet access over satellite telephone is very slow.
But let me relate the sad story of Morrhyse's woes once again. Marriçe was onboard the S.S. Cado, and all seemed to be going well for his rescue. But, mon ami, things seemed to go down hill for Morrace after he stole the captains bag. After that, the captain he seemed restless and much agitated. It was one dinner time when I was with the captain enjoying a witty and intelligent conversation. The capitan made a pained expression, and said "I cannot take this idiocy any longer. You know what to do."
At this, as if at some secret signal, some of the crew grabbed hold of me, and dragged me to the deck. They threw Morrhesse into the sea, and another sailor threw my bag after Mawrese. Well, mes amis, Mawrise he was distraught and did not know what to do. Clearly there had been some mistake! After all, the cpatain he had much been enjoying Mowrice's delightful conversation.
In any case, Morrhyse soon found himself on another dessert island. I still had the captains bag, but threw away everything other than the satellite telephone, the computer, the gun, the rum, the money and the hot watter botttle. So Mawrhyse can use one of the two satellite telephones he now has to connect to the internet. But how to get power!
Mawrrhese went for a walk around the island. There was plenty of food and some fresh water, luckily. Also, Morrhyse found a small ship beached on the other side of the island. This piece of luck, it was incredible! The ship was still perfectly intact and ocean-worthy. So Morryse, he was able to strip the ship to make a shelter to live in and an improvised generator for electricity. Such a task would be hard for anyone who is not a genius as Mawrrrhyse is! But I, Morrhese, am a genius and for me such a task is easily possible. After several hours tinkering with engine parts, I had a servicible generator which would run on the ships fuel or when this runs out on coconut milk. The wood Morrhyse stripped off and used to make a hut most beautiful.
Well, mes amis, once again I am stranded. If only Morrise could find a small plane or helicopter, then he could escape from this infernal island! It is an intollerable trial to be stuck away here, far away from civilisation. Also, internet access over satellite telephone is very slow.
Monday, 12 November 2007
What Maurhyse misses...
My modest house in the French countryside near Armidale in France
By Steve Jurvetson, on wikipedia
which I had just left, on my way to my home near Paris in Australlia
By fir0002, wikipedia
but here is where I am now -- why??? Quel dommage...
By Dr. James P. McVey, NOAA Sea Grant Program
And you may ask, mes amis, why does Wikipedia have picture's of Mawrisses houses on it? A good question, mon ami, but the answer is simple: to illustrate their article on the greatest genius that ever lived! At:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_de_Perfossor.
By Steve Jurvetson, on wikipedia
which I had just left, on my way to my home near Paris in Australlia
By fir0002, wikipedia
but here is where I am now -- why??? Quel dommage...
By Dr. James P. McVey, NOAA Sea Grant Program
And you may ask, mes amis, why does Wikipedia have picture's of Mawrisses houses on it? A good question, mon ami, but the answer is simple: to illustrate their article on the greatest genius that ever lived! At:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_de_Perfossor.
Friday, 26 October 2007
Archaeology of France in the Polystyrene Age
Well, mon amis, it's a few months into a new year at Université du Délire Iguane. Yet again I am teeching my unit ARCH371 "Archaeology of France in the Polystyrene Age (c. 5000BC-2900AD)".
This is my favourite unit ever, dripping with the pure geynius of Morrice! And yet, it seems that the dullard students reconise it not! Nearly none of them bother to turn up to Mawryse's lectures most splendide, and the few that do just sit around and point and luagh. I cannot understant this. Ah well, they will be fighting, yes, fighting to get into Maüriße's classes when my next book is published. Then Maoriçe will have his revenge.
And speaking of revenge, I must make certain to get it right this time. Mowryse will not repeat the mistakes of last time, no sir! It was just by luck that I, Marise, got out of that one alive. I was protected only by my white lead makeup, which shielded me from the radiation.
This is my favourite unit ever, dripping with the pure geynius of Morrice! And yet, it seems that the dullard students reconise it not! Nearly none of them bother to turn up to Mawryse's lectures most splendide, and the few that do just sit around and point and luagh. I cannot understant this. Ah well, they will be fighting, yes, fighting to get into Maüriße's classes when my next book is published. Then Maoriçe will have his revenge.
And speaking of revenge, I must make certain to get it right this time. Mowryse will not repeat the mistakes of last time, no sir! It was just by luck that I, Marise, got out of that one alive. I was protected only by my white lead makeup, which shielded me from the radiation.
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