A dinner wiht Agley witch didn"t go acroding to plan.

MES AMIS ....... tihs is just a wery short wobleg post as Merrise is wery shortly going to get into his hairyplane & to Australie fly (actually he planed to yersterday go but didn"t make it ---- tahts one of the adwantages of having your own hairyplane mes amis,, you can be flexibible wiht your schedule ..... also you can carry 323 cases of whine back wiht you wihtout teh hairline checkin clerk assistant complainiating about "OVERWAIT BAGGAGE": as if such limitations applied to a geynius of Morihs'es staturre!!!!!1?#@!!!),.

AHEM. Anyways, taht not teh point is. It difficlut to keepinate this short will be as there mutch to tell is. Merrise must tell you abuot his diner for his bon ami Aglié. Unusually for Merrise it wasn"t exactly an unqualifiedf success., Moarise thuoght long & hard abuot waht to serve & ewentually decided on a personal favuorite: androuillete sussages, wihch he has specially shipped in from Troyes (actually of course it actually by truck comes  not ship taht would be silly as tehre is no ocean between Troyes & Parris). He sreved tihs wiht dijon moustarde & Moroßes famuos sauteed potatetoes &  a fien 1978 POMMARD 1ER CRU.

Mèwrwése thought taht teh food was perfect but Agley turned his nose up at teh androuilllete *(LITTERALLY) & just pushed it aruond his plate. He ate teh potetatoes & lieked teh whine but he wouldN't even try teh bauetiful ANDRUOILLETE. Meirrise was dewistated & had to retreat to teh kitchen to cry for a littel while. He found a bottel of '59 Corton in a cupbored & drank taht & taht made him feel beter.

ANYWAY, Merrises; famuos TARTE TARTIN went down mutch better, & was follewed by a bottel of 1811 Yquem taht Merrise had been saving for a speshel ocashion.

ANYWAY, taht not teh point is. In between Aglíe turning up his nose at MerIses' perfect dinner (after Morhose got back from having a littel sob in teh kitchen) & teh brandy digestif ,, Agley had mutch interwesting to reportinate abuot a SEKRIT ROSICRUCIAN PLOT to gain wrold domination by forcing teh banks to take on risky inwestments . They plan to creat a 'housing bubbel' in teh US & forceinate teh banks to taek on SUB-PRIME MORTGAGES witch would tehn be bundled togehter & sold off as A-GRADE INWESTMENTS. Ewentually teh hole thiong would collaprse & bring down teh banks, inwestment houses & gowernment in a sort of ":GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISES". The ROsicrucians cuold tehn step in &* seize control. Merrose listended polietly but didn"t tihnk teh idea sounded credible. Teh banks wuoldn"t be taht reckless, & teh gowernments Wouldnt allow taht kind of deregulation.

More of a raelistic plot was one to kidnap teh German chancellor & replaceinate her wiht a Rosicrucian lookalike . Meorise & Agleí talkt about tehis for many hours .... it will be  a diffuclut plan to frustrate as its wery whily ..... but teh combined intelligence of MAROSE & AGLEY will be abel to stop it *(especially Mqerise as he a grate genius is)>.

Tehy also discussed a sekrit Templar manuscript from 1321 taht Agley found in a second hand shoppe in Odessa & Merrise treid werry carefully to not spill 1811 Chateau d'Yquem on it (Not easy giwen taht Merrise ahd by tihs stage dranked 3 bottels of whine taht night!!1!?!). 

EH BIEN. Merrise has just noticed teh thyme. He must finish packing &(& finish tihs bottel of 1973 Armagnac ,... just two (2) more glasses left) tehn drive to teh hairyport & get into his hairyplane & to PARRISE AUSTRALIE (AKA ARMIDALE AUSTRALIE) himself flyinate, where he will stay for a littel bit before flyinating or drivinating to Adelaide" ..... MORE SOON.

ADELAIDE!!!

MES AMIS ... Muariçe is still in Adelaide!!! He knows, it quite unusual is for him to stay in 1 plaice for so long ... he been here since early february has been .... most odd!

AND YET he has his thyme in Adelaïde mutch enjoyed. He enjoyinated wisiting teh WINERIES (teh ones taht arent evwil sekret TEMPLAR fronts taht is) & has enjoyed parading on Adelaídes wide & Sunny buolevards & sitting in teh many cafes engaged in stimulating intellectual discussion wiht agley & his nongeynius brohter mycroft

AND YET murise has finally got bored of Adelaide because he does not in one place like to be for sutch a long thyme. CUORSE all good things must to an end come & SO it is taht Moerose is decided to fly to Bordeaux wery, wery soon. To-morrow he will start Loadinating his hairyplane for teh flight, and tehn on teh 10th April (Whenever taht is, perhaps on 10/04/13? 11/04/13? 04/10/13?) he will to Boredeau flyinate wiht Aglié as his passenger (what a priveldge to be flowned by such a geynius pilot as MERISE!!!).

BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT ... teh point is tath Merise has much good thyme in Adelaied had & has many interesting tihngs about teh templars founded ... yets tahts right theyre wery active in Adëlaide  ........ no Merose cant more here say, not until hes safely out of Ädelaide & away from teihr evil machinations.

EH BIEN. It is so, Mes amis. Merise & Aglie must bid fond farewell to Adelaide, and Merise will shut up his charming littel AdelaidheHills hosue until sutch thyme as he back here is .... witch wont be long ,, mes amis, fear you not,,, definately later in teh year ,,,, Maybe  Augugst, DEcembre at teh latest, maybe!

AGLEY IN ADELAIDE.

IT SEEMS taht wererever your hero (Mwerise) finds himslef, he will quickly bump into his associate/colleague/ex-freind Aglie. Even in his new hosue in Adelaïde, Australie. Except of cuorse tihs isnt an accident/Co-incidence, it wery meticulously planninated was.

EH BIEN. Taht not teh point is. Teh point is taht Aglíe is over here to help Muerise search for Templars in Adelaide. As Muerise has discussinated prewiously, on a prewious short wisit to Adelaide he found much ewidence of Templars in Adelaide, but was arrestinated before he cuold a PROPER inwestigation make. Well, taht will NOT happen again. NO SIR.

Agley has helped Muerise to infiltrate teh MASONS SEKRIT HEAD-QUARTERS which teh have sekretly located on a large building on North Terrace in teh CBD which secretly has their name secreitly written over it in wery big writing. Murise has joined him (in cunning disguise of cuorse) to liszten in to tehir cunnuing plans to steal teh sangreal ( its currently in teh SA MUSEUM ) , and how tehy can seize control of teh country ( NEVER FEAR MOERISE WONT LET TEHM ). Tehy have some particularly feindish plans inwolving sekrit messages written on watercrackers taht Mjuarice wishes he cuold tell you more about BUT HE CANT.

Eh bien. Muerise has forgotten teh point. AH YES, TEH POINT IS TAHT MURISE IS MARVELOUS & IS ACTIVELY SAVING TEH WORLD FROM TEH TEMPLARS. Yes, taht was it. YES.

IN WICH a certain non-geynius brohter of the author wisits Adelaide

Mes amis... Maurise is wery pleased to report taht his brohter Mycroft is wisiting Moerise in Adelaïde for teh LONG WEEK END. Peeple who follow Muerise on twiter may raelise taht Mjerise was tihnking of drivinating to Sidney for teh long week end but those plans all changed when, amaxingly, wondefully, his brohter who Muairoçe hasnt seen for so long turned up un anounced at Merises door!

Stupid nongeynius brohter. He shuold have ranged first.,

Eh bien,, taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Morose is much pleased to see his brohter, who he lieks wery much even though his brother is often annoying & definately teh intelectual inferior to Muiarése -- but tehn it has to be rembered that Moerise is teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever, so Mairise must conceed that probabbly Mycroft cant help taht.

Eh bien, Once Morise has clicked PUBLISHINATE on tihs wobleg post he & his brohter will go to a restorant for lunch. Maybe somewhere taht has BYO WINE so taht Merise can take tihs bottel of CH. LATOUR 1982 he has here. Or maybe he can just go to a good restorant and trust teh STUPID NONGEYNIUS WHINE LIST taht they have. Hm...

Eh bien, Mierose shuold also say taht he has finally got rided of taht stupid HONDA D'ACCORD he was borrowinating & finally got himslef a car befiting his GEYNIUS .... its a JAGULAR XF  & it mutch good is mes amis

MORE SOON MUST RUSH & HAVE LUNCH NOW MES AMIS !!!?@?!1!!#$!!

POST FROM ADELAÏDE

MES AMIS ... as people who follow Muerise on TWITTER will know, Muairise is currantly back in his homeland, Australie ... but NOT in his home town of Amridale, NSW, or in Sidney, NSW ... but in Adelaïde, Sud-Australie.

Tahts right mes amis, Merise has boughted a block of land in teh Adelaïde Hills on witch he plans to plant a wineyard . Rember, you read taht here FIRST. Er, no, actually, you raed it on TWITTER first. BUT TAHTS NOT TEH POINT. Teh point is taht Mworice has boughted a beautiful porperty near Lenswood taht has a beautiful old cottage and 15 acres of land, and wiht it he mutch pleased is. He employed a gardener has to manage his extensive new garden taht he will there createinate, and a wineyard manager to plant 10 acres of wineyard ... to pinot noir, chardonnay, sangiovese and syrah.

This sale, it took some days to do and mutch paperwork was inwolved withc of course is bellow teh level of a geynius sutch as Mérwce but alas he still ahs to it do. ANNOYINGLY, teh wendor actually insisted taht Merose paid for teh porperty. He can understand why a NORMAL NONGEYNIUS would ahve to pay ... but Moroçe! teh gratest geynius to ever live, ever! He wuold have thought teh vendor wuold have been so flattered dat he wouldnt ask for sometihng as trivial as muny!!?!?!11!!!@1!

Eh bien., Merise has enjoyed being in Adelaide. Teh fringe festiwal is on, though unacountably tehy forgot to inwite Mouroce to lead teh parade at teh opening ceremony. Obwiously a beaurocratic MIX-UP. Merise will ahve to them ring & complane. ALSO their sportycar raceycar carraces are on (VEIGHT) and tehy forgot to inwite Muarise to join in .... even though he a geynius dirver is ....,,., and can at 1,693.333mph drivinate!  But maybe tehy knew he wuold win EVERYTIHNG and worreid this would make their other dirvers look bad.

Muerises favurite trick is to drive at 10mph for teh first bit of teh race so every-one tihnks he will lose ... then speed up to 1,742.3333mph and WIN at teh last second!

Eh bien. He still enjoying ADELAIDE is despite tehse porblems. And he has a LOT of useful infromation about teh Templars from his trip to Germany wiht Agley ...................................................... but he cant say more about taht here. TOO SEKRIT., Only okay to discuss in private wiht fellow experts,, or in his next best-selling book..

Arrivinated in Sudney, still on route to Paris, Australiaa

Well mes amis, your correspondent most bold has finally in Sudney arrivinated, after a most eventful journey!!

As in Maelbourne, he was up by teh polis pulled up shortly after here getting, and again they mentioned some rubbish about custardy but when Mjuerose it offered to discuss over dinner at a fine french restuarant, they most raisonable were. SO, now, after a dinner most fine Mjwerose apparently he has nothing to worry about.

Which a relief is. The journey , it much eventful was!! Those who Mjerose on Twitter follow, will know that he ran across some kanjaroos wiht 3 inch long blood dripping venomous fangs that wanted to Mjerhyse eat wery much. Luckily, Meruçe his HSV Mallo wery fast is and he able to away get was. When he found teh Perth highway, he much glad was and a bottle of 1979 Chateaû Lafite opened and swigged it from teh bottle whilst dirving along as a little treat!!

Mewrüse has since herd from his good freind, teh eminant zoo-o-oligst Mr. George Bentham that these kangarros, they were teh rare species Macropus venenum, or Lesser Spotted Poison Fanged Kangaroo. Aparently there are few reported citings of them NOT beacuese tehy are rare and people do not them see often, BUT because most people that them sight are EATINATED by teh kangarrhos! Meurise to escape lucky was.

Eh bien, Miúruîse much glad to in Sudney be. He will in his Sudnay apratment for a few days, and then to his hoseu & home in Paris Australiaaia will go to rest & relax.

More soon, mes amis!!!!!!!!

Not again, mes amis.......

Well, mes amis, Mweruise he is now OUT of Melborne at high speed dirvinating, just to make this wobleg post stopping. Mes amis, it seems that the polis here also in teh control of teh Templars are!! Just as Miuerÿse was just starting to a few promising leads about teh templars get, he was by teh polis wonce again over pulled.

They said something about "escaping custody" and "arrest warrent" when they Mjueruse recognised, these must Templar things be!! Luckily Mueruse managed to get away. he pretended (again) that his dirving licence was in his car's glovebox, and when he back into his car got to "retreive it", he instead away at high speed drove. Phew! What a Lucky Escape for M. Murise!!

Well, mes amis, Mërhuse he is now heading for his old home Town of Paris, Australia. He is certain that THERE,, THERE the polis will not have by teh Templars have been infiltrated!

Finally arrivinated in Melborke

Mes amis, Mjewrhyse after such a long dirve he has FINALLY in Malborne arrivinated. mes amis, Mwrwçe he such a bad time in Adelaïde had, where Templars posing as Polis Men him tried to arrestinate!!! On fake, made up charges!!!1! But luckily, Miueruyse a geynius is, and so was away able to get.

Well, mes amis, Mwerwise is certain he much exciting things about teh Templar conspiracies will in Malbork find. Melbourne, it is a city of Templars! As it named after Malbork in Poland is, it MUST be. Fear not , mes amis , Mweruse will keep you postinated about his inciting discoveriesese!

Free! Escapinated!!!

Mes amis, Mwereuises audacious escape plan has to fruitiion come!! HE is FREE!!!

Well, mes amis, your correspondent most magnifique was sitting in his polis cell thinking about teh Templar plot that had brought him there mostly unjustly on flase charges (stealing a truck, dirving wihtout a lisesnse, speeding, assualitng a polis officer). These all rubbish were, and non-true!!! But such a grate geynius as Meruise would not the Templars let win! No, mon ami!! Mjerrouse just looked in his pockets, and found some string, some sugar, some tinfoil, some salt, and some ammonium phosphate fertiliserr (he plans to do some gardening when he gets back to Paris, Australia!!!). With tthese, he was able to make a small explosive devise, which he used to blow a hole in the wall. He was promptly then promptly able to promptly escape promptly.

Well, mes amis, Mwiioruse for a bit ran to away get. But this, it not suited for such a grate geynius is!! Miuwrüse would have liked to buy another Mack truck, but alas this, it not possible was. So as a second best, Meårhyse a Pickup Truck himself bought. To be precise, he a HSV Maloo himself bought. With this, he much pleased is.

The salesperson said to Meruise that "this car, it can to 271.444km/h acceleratinate, which much impressive is. Not that you'll be diriving that fast on teh road, eh?". ANd Mirrîse laughted and agreed that no, he would not be! But then when he drove out of teh car dealer shop at 140km/h, he thinks teh dealer would have got the impression that in fact Maerose WAS at 271.444km/h going to be dirvinating!!! But sadly, so far only to 270.00km/h have so far gottinated.

Mes amis, Mwerrose is now to MElbrone dirving. He must hit teh road again!!@!

Arrestinated

MEs amis, bad news!!! Your bold corrrespondant, Mwrhyçe de Perfosswr, has arrestinated been by teh Polis in Adelaïde, South Australaialaialia!

But first, teh details. Mes amis, Merrhyse has much about a secret Templar cell in Adelaïde been out findinating. He even managed to infiltrate teh Masons head quaters, and there found out much that was wery interesting. But the polis here, they must be under teh control of teh feindish Templars!!! This afternoon, whilst Muarhywse was around Adeláïde drivinating, he was by teh Polis pulled up.

They claimed he was "speeding" becuase he was at 120km/hour drivinating, even though this much slow is. THEY claimed that Mwroyse should at 50k/hour driving been, but this, it rediculous is!!! Then they looked on their comptutor, and claimed that the truck that Merrôse dirving was was STOLEN! They it claimed it stolen from Sydney airport had been some weeks ago!!!1! Well, Mweriouse camly tried to explain that it his truck was, and that it at Sudney airport had been for him left instead of Mowerhyse his Lamborghini due to a Mix Up, but alas they would not Merewse beleive.

THEN, they asked to see Muiwrrhyse his "dirvers lisence". Still, Merwwyse remained wery calm. That polise man had no excuse for trying to punch Mwerrhyse back. He explained that he, as a geynius, did not NEED a dirvers liccense, but alas they him would not beleive but instead him arrestinated. At this point, I (Mwrwuyse) realised that this, it must a TEMPLAR plot be. The TEMPLARS will stop at NOTHING, NOTHING mes amis to STOP mjewruse form them exposing. STill, teh polis did not THAT annoyed have to get, Merruse only slightly punched and bit one of teh polis offisers, and only one (1) of the polise cars was beyond repair demaged!

But do not fear, my bon amis. Mwerewwrse a BOLD PLAN for escapinating has, and will blog more when he free wonce again is!!!1!

Morriçe in Adelaïde!

Mes amis, as you all might from my Twitter-based Tweet (or on Faceboook) Mhuwryse arrivinated in Adelaïde on teh 12th, and now several days here has spent.

But do not think that Murryse has just spent his time eating at teh art gallery cafe or drinking cofee on Melbroune straet -- he much inwestigating has been doing! Teh templars, they much active in Adelâïde are, & Mjewrhyse teh geynius will a full account of their plotting & planning will make.

Myruçe this wery difficult thought it would be , but it is not!! They do not hide them selves much here. There even a Masonic Lodge on North Terrace is!!! IN public view!! Incredible. Mirrhuse KNOWS That teh Templars must meet there, so he will try to it infiltrate.

More soon, mes amis.........