Mwurise on EOSTER ISLAND

MES AMIS ... those of you who ahve been followinating Meuriçe (IE MOI) on twitter or facebooke will raelise taht he was getting REALLY REALY FED UP WIHT STUPID NON GEYNIUS AGELEY & TEH WAY HE KEPT GOING ON & ON & ON ABOUT TEH TEMPLARS EVWEN THOUGH MIUROSE WAS BORED OF THEM. Tahts right, Meurise has HAD ENOUGH of templars & wants to study something else for a few months. Maybe he mite go back to studying teh Templars if tehyre nice to him & are wery poleit.

Eh bien, that not the point is. The point is taht on teh 12rd Juine Moerise devised a cunning plan taht only a geynius of Mueurrhises' stuture could ahve deviseinated. HE planned to get in his hairyplane & to Eostre Island flyinate wihtout stopping & once he was there to do some exciting raesearch into teh Eoster island statues & teh amazing ciwilisation taht built tehm .... teh Aztecs!

Meurise of course started on this improtatnt work, witch carried on from an earlier study he dided of this, and he managed to translatinate sevral more inscriptions from teh original Occitan (teh language of teh Aztecian Incas who lived on Eoster Island!!!) .... on withc he will blog more soon.

Of courose a STUPID templar turned up & tried to sell Meoiruise a suitcase full of templar sekrits & since Morose did"nt want to be interupted by templar rubish Mawrhuise he said NO. And then to late raelised taht this was a mis-take (see, even a geynius as grate as Mouroße somethymes makes mistaeks!!! less tahn once/year though) but by tehn it was Too Late.

Of course, even Agley had to turn up ewentually, cliaming it was a ":COINCEDENCE" & he just wanted to wisit teh Eostrer Island. HE claims taht teh Templars builted teh statues here BUT WAHT WOULD TEH NONGEYNIUS KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAY Meorise will now try to escapinate Agley again ... he is loading his plane at 2 A.M. tihs morning & flying away to Argentina. He WILL escape Aglié again !!! ... !!!

BRAEKING NEWS: Miroeses plane diwerted

MES AMIS .... teh pilot has just saided that teh flight at JFK hairport NYC landinate due to Hurricane Sandy, a wery bad storm that NYC has hitted. Majroce had of course about teh Hurrican read but assumed that maybe teh airport was open agian. Unfrotunately it was not, and Aterrisage Force (teh hairline with witch Mierose is flying) did not abuot it know because (a) thier subscription to teh Aviataion Weather Service(TM) had lapsed as they couldnt pay teh subscription fee *& (b) no body at Atterrissage Forcé HQ reads teh news.

SO teh pilot has  just announcinated that he decided to land at a nother major hairport instead has. Since tehy dont have acess to the Weahter Reports he does not know exactly wehre teh storm has closed hairports & generally caused devistation so he decidded to diwert to California has. Teh hairyplane will be landing at Well Known Major Hairport Sonoma Valley Hairport instaed. Mirose will tehn a taxi get to NYC, as soon as everything's restored after teh strom.

Moarise is of course NOT wery happy abuot tihs & thinks teh storm shuold have chosen a time when Moerose (who is, after all, teh gratest geynius to ever live ever) was not planning to in NYC be. It was teh least it cuold have done. Eh bien, tthere is nothing Morawce can do now. Tehre is nothing to be gained from shouting at or attempting to beat up teh cabin staff , they fix this problem cannot (though Moarise admits he did slightly try to punch the steward when he this first heard ... and maybe threw his coffee at him! Still, it was nothing & the stewart shouldnt ahve been so upset at Miroce).

EH BIEN. Tihs just a short post is ment to be. Bon amis in NYC who waiting for Moerose are ..... he will be there soon!! AS soon as tihngs back to Normal are. In teh meanthyme, he had been meaning to wisit San Fran Cisco, so may be tihs is a good time to do so!!?!??!?!? ALso, Mooarose hopes his amis in NYC & teh rest of teh East Coast much safe are & ahvent been badly affectinated by teh stupid  much bad & annoying non-genius storm.

a bientôt....!!!.... & bon courage!!!!

... arrived in Parrhys, mes amis

MES AMIS!!!1!! Murrhose, taht grate geynius, taht intellectual behemoth, ahs finally arrivinated in his Favuorite City, Parrhys, France (not to be confusinated wiht Parys, Australia!!). Eh bien, teh flight it much an adwenture was... he from Argentina set off on teh 18th March set off. ANd tehn, he finally arrivinated TODAY on teh 31 March.... a whole 23 days later!!1!

Eh bien, teh flight it not as mutch of an ordeal for Myarhose was as it might ahve been for a lesser mind, as Moorhose a grate geynius is. He had broughted much in his "CARRY ON" luggage.

In Mouarhoses luggage, as well as a parachute (which has served him well before now...), he had 331 booeks to read, his laptop comptutor, his GSM mobile phones, his satellite phones, 42 bottels of 1996 Bollinger le Grande Annee, and 14 kg of CAVIAR. Enough to keep Any Body happy....

Still... after tihs wery, wery long trip Mereise his "travel lust" has been satedede " recently... he pormises himslef taht he will not do any more travelling for AT LEAST 5 days., wehn he will be travellinating to Australie again. But for now, he has time to rest&relaxinate.

He much glad to be back in his humble apratment in Paris France is. He is EVEN NOW enjoyinating siting around in a cafe near his apratment enjoyinating espresso... mmm... espressso!! Muarhose is much happy to be back in Parhise.

Well.. Meruse would Love to stay aruond and more writtinate... but he a Booking at Restaurant le Meurice tihs evening, and he MUST go back to his apratment now to get raedy. More soon, mes amis!!!1!!

Hiappy new year, mes amis!!!1!!!

Bonne année, mon amis!!!1! Or, as we say "en français", "Happy New Year, My Freinds!!" Eh bien, it is true. It once agian a new year is.

Wow! How teh old year wery fast went. Even for such a grate geynius as Murrhjuose, who wery wery good at noticing things that happen wery fast is. The years are so short, it almost seems as if their is a new year every 365 days!!! Incredioble! Incroyable!!

Well mes amis, Merhwse thuoght that his loyal fans had suffered enuogh deprevation of MISSIVES from their favourite geynius (I.E., moi!!! Morose!!!), and so he a wobleg post shuold writinte.

He hopes you a wery good Christmass hjad. He a wery good Christmas had, wihch he spent wiht his long long lost brohter Mycroft in Canbererera.... tahts right mes amis, Mururuse has a brohter..... rember you read taht here FIRST. Anyway, it incroidable catching up wiht him after may yers (5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 100 years? WHO KNOWES?!?!?!) was. Muirhose wanted to tweet and wobleg all abuot Christmas LIVe as it happeniated but alas it was not possible. Mijruse his NON-GEYNIUS borhter forbidinated it (now Morose rembers why he to him stoped talking!!1!) simply becuaeese Mycroft works in some ""confidiential"" projects in Governenmenbt and it cuold have ""Jeopardised National Security"". Wahtever. Murrhuwse, he a GRATER geynius is.

Eh bien, despite tihs, we a grate CHristmas had. For Christmas dinner, we had roast duck, roast turkey, roast lamb AND roast goose!!! ALL OF TEHM>>>!! WOAH!! it such a meal was. Their were roast potatoes, roast punmpkin, roast parsnip, a beautiful salad. OH...,.and I still have not teh fois gras starter mentionated....

NAturally Murhose and Mycroft many good whines had. Mycroft is wery partial to teh 1892 Chateau Lafite, so NAturally we several bottels of tihs had... since Murrhose preferinates Romanee COnti we sevral bottels of 1956 Romanée Conti also haded.

Eh bien, as alwauys, even such good thymes to an end must come. And teh day before yester-day, murrhose his hairyplane packinated, and to Paris, NSW flew. He is plaesed to relate taht teh flight only two days him took -- a record, he hardly at all lost got!!!!1!

à bien-tôt...
MUERRHAESE
geynius

Mirrhose in Australie!!!!1!

You raed it right, Mwreise is once again back in Australie, his HOME LAND!!! He once again back in his ancestral home town of Paris, NSW. He much pleased to be home is.

His flight wiht Atterissage Forcé much plaesant was, and he made use of many of teh optoinal extras taht he mistakenly ordered. Some of tehse were good, but not quite waht Murrhyse had expectinated. For example, he asked for his glass of champagne & plate of caviar. Unfrotunately, instaed he got sparkling mineral water and a hard boiled egg. Teh hostess said taht this was "Close Enough". He much plaesed wiht his complementary overnight stay in a 3 star hotel in Paris was, though.

Eh bien, teh MAIN thing is taht the hairyplane, it crashed did not. ANd now, after a mere five-day long flight, he back in Australie is. He has been enjoyinating living in his family hosue in Paris, NSW, Australie. He has been enjoying stroling once more down teh wide boulevards of Paris, NSW, and drinking cofe in teh many caffes and tehre many long discussions wiht his freinds (although they his intelectual inferiors are - EVERYBODY is teh intellectual inferior to Murrhose).

He also much his HSV Malloo drivinating aruond Paris, NSW has been enjoyinating -- though he a SAFE, RESPONSIBIBLE dirver is, and NEVER dirves aruond town at more than 250km/h, and always makes certain he has NOT drunk more tahn two (2) bottels of whine before he driving goes.

Eh bien, taht is all. Mirrhwse is teh Quiet Life in Paris, NSW enjoyinating. He will post more to his Wobleg magnifique (ie. this web page!!!1!!) as exciting tihngs happen. Until then, à bientot!

InFlihgt Entertrainment

Mes amis, Mwerìse he is 10 minutes into teh hairyplane flight from Rhôme to Buenos Aires, and he ALREADY bored is. He & Agly 1st class British Hairways are flyinhg. Agly this insisted -- he would NOT fly wiht Mwerùse his normal hAirline, Atterissage Forcé, which Mjerise made much disapointed. At least tehre would be some entertainment -- teh engine would have normally caught fire at least ONCE by now on Atterissage Forcé.

Eh bien, Mwerüse a GEYNIUS is, so he can wiht teh boredome up put. He tried flicking scraps of paper at Agliè, but he this game did not want to play. Now he trying to raed a newspaper is. But it all rubbish news about stupid non geyniuses as!!! Mirrwse, he a grater geynius tahn ALL of them put togehter is!!!1!

Well, Meruse is falling back on trying to get somehting to eat & drnink to teh time pass. Hmmm -- Mheruse would like Tuna à la Provençale, wiht a bottel of Olivier Leflaive Puligny-Montrachet les Pucelles Premiere Cru 2002 to wiht it go. But alas, teh stewardess not coorporative is!! SHe claims this, they do not have!! She cannot Mweruse a meal get until lunch time, but at least she can him some cheese & biscuits get. Muryse at tihs much angrey was, but managed to restrain himslef and did not teh stewardess atempt to beat up or teh hairyplane attempt to damage. AT LEAST tehre cheese and biscuits are. Merjuse, he hopes teh cheese is TOP QUALITY FRENCH CHEESE. He expects nothing less.

Mwreise is trying to see if he can persauade her to him a bottel of 1985 Haut Brion Blanc him get. Wish Mwerise luck, mes amis!!1!!!

Car woes

Well, mes amis, Mjerhowse has in Sudney arrivinated, and has just teh hairyport left. Mjerüse had to teh plane flyinate for much of teh way, and kept forgetting what buttons in teh cockpit did. But ewentually he rememememebered. AND he able to land teh plane much safely & smoothly was, and teh passengers they all Mjerose clapped.

TRUE, he scrapped one of teh wings of teh plane on teh runway for a few hundred metres, and one of the wheels broke off BUT Mjerhwuse he has not on An Atterrissage Forcé flight been where this did not happen, so teh other passengers they mind did not. The pilot even said, "Monsieur le Genius, even I could not have landed teh plane so well", and Mjer∑se he to modest had to pretend to be. But of course it is true, teh Pilot, he not a geynius like Mauooruse is.

But when he went to his Maserati collectinate, there a problem was!!1! There NEITHER his Maserati Quatreporte or his Jaguar XKR there was!! Mherjuse the genius (that is, me) had specififically instructed that his Maserati was to be at the hairyport there for him waiting. But it was not! Instead, there a Mack Granite truck there was:

Well, this, it Muerjhyse le genie much disttressed did! It, it not quite teh same as his Maserati or Jaguar is! Also, he found he teh key for it did not have, and neither anybody he asked did!! A catastrophey! But luckily Mhwrwse a geynius is, so it to start and drive off was able to, using a key he made from a chocolate wrappers tin foil.

WELL, mes amis, Meruse no time to waste had! He in his new Mack Truck the road hitted, and to Melbroune now driving is. He will himself a more suitable car there once he ther is will buyinate -- maybe another Rolls Royce?!?!

This is your capitain speaking....

Well, earlier Mhwrÿse he too soon spoke. He joked that maybe they would him teh plane ask to flyinate!! But then, both teh Pilot AND teh Co Pilot, they teh Bœuf bourguignon for lunch had, and now tehy BOTH food poisoning have. As does any body else who was not as wise as Mjerüse, who teh Bouillabaisse had.

Well, mes amis. No time for more blogging or twitterittering. Mheruse has a plane full of people to fly! Wish him luck!!! Not that he it needs, he anything can do as he a GEYNIUS is.

Flying Atterrissage Forcé

Well, this flight so far it much good has been & wery uneventful which good is.

Unfortunately the crew they have teh inflight film to stop had to just now (teh Film it is Teh Bakers' Wife which they a new release claim is but Mjerose, he is skeptical). The right side engine has caught fire AGAIN, and now teh co pilot must climbinate out on teh wing wiht a fire extinguisher and it put out. Hope he it does soon, Müerîyse lunch wants. heard it's Bouillabaisse, an now Mehrhwse wery hungry is.

Eh bien, Mjeruse can now see that the good co pilot has teh engine fire put out, & is walking back towards the door. Ah, now he's in, apparently lunch it can be servinated.

Oh, apparently they now asking passengers for sticky tap are, as the pilots yoke it has fallen of & he it needs to stickytape back on again, so that he safely can continue to flyinate teh plane. They asking people this are as lunch they serve. Lucky Mjerîse has a roll of Duct tape wiht him has, and so this he can them give. Why do lesser minds always rely on geniuseses like Mjeroîse to everything for them do?!?! What next, mes amis?!?!? WIll they Mjérése ask to pilot teh plane for them?!?!

Arrived!!!

Mes amis, Murrosw he has in Londyn finally arrived. After his plain tickets to Paris having lostinated, he had to tickets home to Armidale France urgently book. But alas!! He could not any seats on any plane book until the 5th Januanuary!! This a disaster it was, mes amis! But my friends, Muirwose he soon found he could tickets to London book, and then the Eurostar to Paris get, and then when he there was he could another car buy and to Armidale France drivinate. Simple!!

Well, mes amis, we set out on teh 2nd January, and got to Londyn in the early hours of teh 3rd. Unfortunately heathrow airport it much busy was, and muirrowse his air craft it was kept in a holding pattern, flying back and forth, forth and back around Heathcliffe airport. THis it not good was! IT a TRAGEDIE was!!! THe world was being deprived of Muirose!!! He was so distraught that he could not finish his champagne!!!

Eh bien, the plane it a just little while to land had to wait. It landed about two (2) hours ago, and Mirrowse he just through Customs now has got. Well, he the EUROSTRAR tthat on which he himself was booked Miorooswse he seems to have missed. But MIRROHWSE is a GEYNIUS, and GEYNIUSES can do ANYTHING. He will himself back home soon get, mes amis, dont you wrorry about that!!

High Luxury Car. Missing Tickets of the HAIRYPLANE.

Mes amis, here a photo of Muarose his TOYOTA HILUX outside his hosue in Paris Australia  is:

And here one of Marrowse down the main street of Paris Australia in his Porsche Cayenne Turbo S SUV drivinating is:

Well, that's all the fun that Muarose he time for at the moment has. He seems to have his hairyplane tockets for his plain trip to France lost again.

He on the 2nd January back to France was planinng to flyinate, but now without his ticket this he cannot do! He must new tickets buy!! Mirrohße he most upset and agitated is. He certain he on the table by the stairs put them down only yesterday, and maybe he certain is that he there only this morning sore them, but then that now MUIRRRRHISE the full force of his geynius on this matter puts he also thinks that maybe he in his desk draw put it but allas it in neither place is though Mioruse in the desk in his litle gazebo summer house has not yet looked and maybe it in their is or maybe Mioruse in the glove box of his Porsche has it left or maybe he accidentally on it as if it scrap paper were wrote and then it away threw but alas Mirise he no longer certian is and now he much agitated is and he still cannot it find aargh maybe if he rang Ratatoskr or Aglie that they might that maybe they might know what Muairose should do but alas Muirose much agitated is and did he mention that he on the table by the stairs has checked and he certain that it there was and it not is???

Wihs Maerwse luck!

Muarhuse, he is flying back to Armidale France today! His flight, it is being called RIGHT NOW, so he cannot much say here. He much looking forward to getting back and onto his new job getting on. He will post again soon when in France he is.

This time, Muruse will be flying with Atterrissage Forcé Ultra-Premium Executive First Class wonce again, just like last time. Mes amis, it was the flying expereince of the century! Far better than any other hairyplane flight that Muirhse with other airlines had been on. There were even buttons on the seat airm rest to call a air stewardess! And they would even you a glass of water get if you them asked!! And the glass it was only slightly smudged and maybe even clean!!! This was an unprecedented hexperience for Mwrwse.

OOPS final call mes amis !! eh bien maurice hhe muhst goe knoww