Morrhyse found an old but still fully functioning hellicopter and helipad whilst walking through the jungle on his island today. Merryse was of course most delighted! He was able to use the parts from this most magnificant machine to improve his generator. I was also able to use the propellors to make a fan, for some air conditioning for Mawrise's comfort!
If only Merrece had a boat, he could sail away from this infernal island!
Friday, 30 November 2007
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Jokes aside
It must have been the joke about the three nuns, the chief of police and the microwave. Maybe that, it annoyed the cpatain.
I'm wondering how I can work this into The Mouthwash of the Gods, my epic new novel. Maybe the hero of the book can tell this joke. Mawrese is certain that he, he will get a better reception for this joke than Morece ever has. Merrice has never come across any one of sufficient intellict to understand a joke so subtle yet so funny.
Maybe this palm tree will get the joke.
I'm wondering how I can work this into The Mouthwash of the Gods, my epic new novel. Maybe the hero of the book can tell this joke. Mawrese is certain that he, he will get a better reception for this joke than Morece ever has. Merrice has never come across any one of sufficient intellict to understand a joke so subtle yet so funny.
Maybe this palm tree will get the joke.
Adrift
Mes amis, I am once again alone on a desert island.
But let me relate the sad story of Morrhyse's woes once again. Marriçe was onboard the S.S. Cado, and all seemed to be going well for his rescue. But, mon ami, things seemed to go down hill for Morrace after he stole the captains bag. After that, the captain he seemed restless and much agitated. It was one dinner time when I was with the captain enjoying a witty and intelligent conversation. The capitan made a pained expression, and said "I cannot take this idiocy any longer. You know what to do."
At this, as if at some secret signal, some of the crew grabbed hold of me, and dragged me to the deck. They threw Morrhesse into the sea, and another sailor threw my bag after Mawrese. Well, mes amis, Mawrise he was distraught and did not know what to do. Clearly there had been some mistake! After all, the cpatain he had much been enjoying Mowrice's delightful conversation.
In any case, Morrhyse soon found himself on another dessert island. I still had the captains bag, but threw away everything other than the satellite telephone, the computer, the gun, the rum, the money and the hot watter botttle. So Mawrhyse can use one of the two satellite telephones he now has to connect to the internet. But how to get power!
Mawrrhese went for a walk around the island. There was plenty of food and some fresh water, luckily. Also, Morrhyse found a small ship beached on the other side of the island. This piece of luck, it was incredible! The ship was still perfectly intact and ocean-worthy. So Morryse, he was able to strip the ship to make a shelter to live in and an improvised generator for electricity. Such a task would be hard for anyone who is not a genius as Mawrrrhyse is! But I, Morrhese, am a genius and for me such a task is easily possible. After several hours tinkering with engine parts, I had a servicible generator which would run on the ships fuel or when this runs out on coconut milk. The wood Morrhyse stripped off and used to make a hut most beautiful.
Well, mes amis, once again I am stranded. If only Morrise could find a small plane or helicopter, then he could escape from this infernal island! It is an intollerable trial to be stuck away here, far away from civilisation. Also, internet access over satellite telephone is very slow.
But let me relate the sad story of Morrhyse's woes once again. Marriçe was onboard the S.S. Cado, and all seemed to be going well for his rescue. But, mon ami, things seemed to go down hill for Morrace after he stole the captains bag. After that, the captain he seemed restless and much agitated. It was one dinner time when I was with the captain enjoying a witty and intelligent conversation. The capitan made a pained expression, and said "I cannot take this idiocy any longer. You know what to do."
At this, as if at some secret signal, some of the crew grabbed hold of me, and dragged me to the deck. They threw Morrhesse into the sea, and another sailor threw my bag after Mawrese. Well, mes amis, Mawrise he was distraught and did not know what to do. Clearly there had been some mistake! After all, the cpatain he had much been enjoying Mowrice's delightful conversation.
In any case, Morrhyse soon found himself on another dessert island. I still had the captains bag, but threw away everything other than the satellite telephone, the computer, the gun, the rum, the money and the hot watter botttle. So Mawrhyse can use one of the two satellite telephones he now has to connect to the internet. But how to get power!
Mawrrhese went for a walk around the island. There was plenty of food and some fresh water, luckily. Also, Morrhyse found a small ship beached on the other side of the island. This piece of luck, it was incredible! The ship was still perfectly intact and ocean-worthy. So Morryse, he was able to strip the ship to make a shelter to live in and an improvised generator for electricity. Such a task would be hard for anyone who is not a genius as Mawrrrhyse is! But I, Morrhese, am a genius and for me such a task is easily possible. After several hours tinkering with engine parts, I had a servicible generator which would run on the ships fuel or when this runs out on coconut milk. The wood Morrhyse stripped off and used to make a hut most beautiful.
Well, mes amis, once again I am stranded. If only Morrise could find a small plane or helicopter, then he could escape from this infernal island! It is an intollerable trial to be stuck away here, far away from civilisation. Also, internet access over satellite telephone is very slow.
Sunday, 25 November 2007
Normality - life on the S.S. Cado
Mes amis, the confusion is starting to die down. The captain, he is thinking that maybe his bag fell overboard. Morrhyse has hidden it in his own bag. There is nothing of interest to Mawryße in it, but it is not possible to return it. Maryse does enjoy having real coffee for a change, though.
Life onboard the ship is pretty standard, mundane, and follows a predictable routine. As I am not a crew member, I just watch the crew members doing all the work. Sometimes when I think the genius of Mawryse might provide a better way of doing something I of course try to suggest this to the sailors. Sadly, they do not recognise the genius of Mawrhyçe and are often most agitated when I try to suggest better ways to do things to them.
This morning, a helicopter landed on the deck and some men armed with machine guns burst out. There was a brief shoot out, but they were forced to retreat by the crew. The cpatain fired a rocket after them as they flew away but he missed. After that, we had lunch. It was an insipid roast. As I said, nothing but dull routine! Nothing to stimulate the mind of the geynius that is Morrhyse.
Life onboard the ship is pretty standard, mundane, and follows a predictable routine. As I am not a crew member, I just watch the crew members doing all the work. Sometimes when I think the genius of Mawryse might provide a better way of doing something I of course try to suggest this to the sailors. Sadly, they do not recognise the genius of Mawrhyçe and are often most agitated when I try to suggest better ways to do things to them.
This morning, a helicopter landed on the deck and some men armed with machine guns burst out. There was a brief shoot out, but they were forced to retreat by the crew. The cpatain fired a rocket after them as they flew away but he missed. After that, we had lunch. It was an insipid roast. As I said, nothing but dull routine! Nothing to stimulate the mind of the geynius that is Morrhyse.
The Capitans bag again
Friends, it has been noticed that the captains bag has gone missing. There is much hue and cry, and running around the place. It is of course a danger that Morrhyse will be found out as the person who took that bag, but Morrese is a genius. He will not be found out.
The Captains bag
Mes amis, Mowrrhyçe snuck into the bridge at night and stole the captian's Prada bag. Alas, there was no coffee or espresso machine in it though it was most heavy.
Here is what it contained
Friends, Morrhyse took this back to his room but was much disappointed when he found nothing of interest in it. So I returned to the bridge, and continued to search. After a few minutes, Morrhyse found an esperesso machine and some coffee hidden away. Victory at last!
Since the bridge is not often unattended, Morrhyse had to make quick his getaway, before he was noticed.
Here is what it contained
- Another satelite telephone
- A GPS unit
- A hand gun
- Several kilograms of useless talcum powder
- A laptop computer
- Several GSM mobile phones
- Several books, including The MI5 Handbook: CLASSIFIED Section 272/3a, The CIA Operative's Covert Ops Guide and So You've Decided to Be a Double Agent for the KGB.
- About thirty clear glass-like stones, nicely cut
- A hot water bottle
- Three bottles of rum, one of whisky
- US$100,000 in cash, plus miscellaneous credit cards under various names
- Five passports, all from different countries and under different names. Strange, the photo is all of the capitan
Friends, Morrhyse took this back to his room but was much disappointed when he found nothing of interest in it. So I returned to the bridge, and continued to search. After a few minutes, Morrhyse found an esperesso machine and some coffee hidden away. Victory at last!
Since the bridge is not often unattended, Morrhyse had to make quick his getaway, before he was noticed.
On-board the S.S. Cado
Well, mes amis, Morrhyçe is enjoying life on board the S.S Cado!
Last night Morrhyse enjoyed having dinner at the capitan's table, and provided much witty and inteligent conversation to my newly found adoring audience. Why, when I told my famous joke about the three naval captains and the iguana, the captian laughed hystericallly, and then burst into tears out of sheer appreciation of Morrese's geynius.
"What on earth could someone of your... unique intellect do for a living?" the captian asked me.
"Well," Morrhyse replied modestly, "I am a professsional genius, a lecturer on pretty much everything, and an author. I write many books most incredibly intelligant on so many subjects it is not possible to sum up quickly."
"You do certainly have an abnormal level of intelligance," the first mate admitted.
"He sure does," agreed the kaptain.
Well, mon amis, life on board the ship is so far good. A few of Morrhyse's creature comforts are lacking -- it is not possible to get a good cup of cofffe for example -- but Morrhy∫e has proved that he can cope with adversity! Besides, I think the captian has some of these and is hiding them from the rest of them. But it is not possible to hide anythign from Murrise, as he is a genius. I have seen his bag in the bridge, and I think it is Prada.
I will take it and report back to you, mes amis.
Last night Morrhyse enjoyed having dinner at the capitan's table, and provided much witty and inteligent conversation to my newly found adoring audience. Why, when I told my famous joke about the three naval captains and the iguana, the captian laughed hystericallly, and then burst into tears out of sheer appreciation of Morrese's geynius.
"What on earth could someone of your... unique intellect do for a living?" the captian asked me.
"Well," Morrhyse replied modestly, "I am a professsional genius, a lecturer on pretty much everything, and an author. I write many books most incredibly intelligant on so many subjects it is not possible to sum up quickly."
"You do certainly have an abnormal level of intelligance," the first mate admitted.
"He sure does," agreed the kaptain.
Well, mon amis, life on board the ship is so far good. A few of Morrhyse's creature comforts are lacking -- it is not possible to get a good cup of cofffe for example -- but Morrhy∫e has proved that he can cope with adversity! Besides, I think the captian has some of these and is hiding them from the rest of them. But it is not possible to hide anythign from Murrise, as he is a genius. I have seen his bag in the bridge, and I think it is Prada.
I will take it and report back to you, mes amis.
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