MES AMIGOS ....
Müroße must apologisinate for not postininating anything to tihs wobleg ... or via farceberk ... or via twytter ... or via skywriting .... for AT LÆST A MONTH!!1!?!$%@#!!!! . He KILLER JET LAG had aftrer teh wery length 12-day-fligth from Paris France to Armidale Australie via Brasil;. It an EPIC WOYAGE was.
EH BIEN. But he is here now & he ovwer his KELLER JET LAG is, so it all good is. He was going to postinate abuot what he up to in Australie has been -- he has been writing some acadæmonic pæpers , & tending to his wineyard , & redocorating teh hosue has been -- & tihs is ALL WERY INTERWESTING (as anything inwolwing Mjrjse is becuase its about Méréesse) sometihng mutch more interesting has come up.
An article has surfaced in teh non-esoteric mainstræm mædia abuot a secret hidden series of Caves made by teh Templars ... Muruses secret adwerseries. Teh artikel describes tehm as being in Shropshire, UK, but Morose isnt niave enough to beleave everytihng he raeds, especially where Templar Conspiracies are inwolwved. NONETEHELESS ... teh article is scattered with Cryptic Clues about teh Crypt ( ... heh ... Cryptic Crypt ... ! ... Heh ) for those who ahve teh Wisdom to See it. It is obwious to Meorwse taht the Cryptic Crypt is in Lisbon, Arles, Seville, Dolgellau, or Buenos Aires. Mir1se will of cuorse ahve to travel to all of tehse plaices over teh next few months to inwestigate ........... cue EPIC KILLER JET LAG ......................... oh noes .... still it is a sacrifice taht M3r3se is preparinated to make.
Muarise has been doing some important maintainaince on his hairyplane but once taht's finished, he will hed to Lisbon f1rst. Tehn Buenos Aires. Tehn Seville. Tehn Dolgellau. Tehn Arles. But 1st he must finish his coffee & croissants.
Monday, 13 March 2017
Monday, 9 January 2017
Bon novelle-year!
Well, mes amis, its wahtever teh new year is (Merise is confuwesed due to thymetravel) & Moóriße has finally managed to stabilise his thymemachine & is now back to being in one time &* place witch is surprisingly relaxing comprared with being trapped in the interstitial time vortex (which he was since Janruary 2016!). Many tihngs have changed since Mwrwce posted here last & he will here updatinate you ! :
- M¼er³se has changed his email address from HotMaile to GeeMail.! New emale address is: muarice.deprefossor ___AT____ GMaile.con. Email him there soon!
- M8r8se has lost his job at teh L'Université du Délire Iguane, as he didnt' manage to get there at all during 2016. Stupid nongeynius uniwersities, as if turning up to some stupid nongeynius office & teaching stupid nongenius students could ever be a requihrment for a GEYNIUS to keep hold of his job. !!!!!?!?1!!!
- CONSEQUENTLY Mèrèésé will now be working Full Thyme at Manutius press as an ediotr. Luckily he can work from his many hosues for tihs. No Need to move to Milan & to work in some nongeynius office wiht nongeynius so-called colleagues!
- Moarice's nongeynius brohter Mycroft has moved permanently to Bordeaux & has taken over Morwses chateau tehre, wich he is now calling Chatêau [CLASSIFIED] (becuase he in inteligence used to work -- hence teh stupid nongeynius nonfunny so-called "joke"!). Mùerise heres taht he is making a wery nice Pauillac whine there.
- Maerhise is now trying to awoid Aglie as he finds him wery iritating.
- Murice wuold like to find sometihng else other than teh Templars to re-search,. Its" fun & all re-searching tehm & MErise this does not want to stop, BUT also he doesn'ot want to a monomaniac become.
- &
Eh, that is all for now mes amigos.................
Saturday, 26 September 2015
THYME MACHINE YET AGIAN
MES AMIS ... Mèrise has been trawelling back & ford in thyme mutch this month (if teh concept 'this month' aplies given how mutch thymetravel Morwise is doign). It mutch hard work is but he is picking up mutch useful infromation about teh Templars & thwarting their evwil plans throughout history .... and the future! Muoarise has constantly been back to 1278 to talkinate wiht Robert de Craon & playinate chess (EVWEN IF NOBODY OT+THER TAHN MWRICE CAN CHESS PLAYINATE PREOPERLY! aagh it mutch frustratinating is.). Moariçe is posisng as well-known Crusaeder-Night Sir Meirise, a Knight from Upper-Saxonburgy, or something. ANyway teh improtant tihng is taht teh templars are fooleded.
Mérse ahs a dinner wiht Aglèy planned for next TUesday & he & Aglie will discuss Meroíse's infromation (Don"t wory - Mearise will hidinate teh Thyme machine under a cloht in teh Cellar, where Aglye will never it find!!!!1!@#!@!).
MEANWILE moaeirse plans to use teh Thymemachine for someithing other tahn templar-thwarting because its been wery hard * & * thyring work & MErose needs a brake!!!!
EH BIEN .... he will be back.
Mérse ahs a dinner wiht Aglèy planned for next TUesday & he & Aglie will discuss Meroíse's infromation (Don"t wory - Mearise will hidinate teh Thyme machine under a cloht in teh Cellar, where Aglye will never it find!!!!1!@#!@!).
MEANWILE moaeirse plans to use teh Thymemachine for someithing other tahn templar-thwarting because its been wery hard * & * thyring work & MErose needs a brake!!!!
EH BIEN .... he will be back.
Sunday, 6 September 2015
THYME MACHINE AGIAN
MES AMIS .... Mŵriśe is just back from more extendinated thymetravel ... but more abuot that soon. Wehn he left (FRIDAY JUNE 18TH) he had just been to see his asociate Agléy and to him tell him some of the infromation Moaróse had about teh templars founded out from his thymetraweling. Unfrotunately he figurinated out taht Merise must a thymemachine have ,.... and evwen managed to guess wehre Merwçe would it hide , despite how cuning M7erisecs hiding spot was ( teh garage - who:d guess taht a car wuold be kept in teh garage?!?!?!?!1!).
ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).
ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).
ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)
Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable! And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??
ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?
ANYWAY Maeriuse just managed to get ahed of Agley & leap in teh thymemachine & engage thymetravel and driveinate off into teh past before Aglíe could jump on teh tray of teh thymemachine (a conwerted HILUX).
ANYWAY Morŵçe hadnt managed to set a thyme on teh thymemachine so he just ended up in some random thyme ,... unfrotunately taht was in teh midel of teh Cataclysm of 2384 & Méruise only just managed to engage teh thymetrawel and get away before being blowned up wiht a ruouge microatomuc bomb ... and he ended up in 2293 agin, his new favoerite year (also he has a mobule phone from tehn now withc is grate only it wont work wiht mobilephonenetworks until 2287).
ANWYWAY After a nice relaxingf months holiday here Moerise want back to 1278 and inwestigated / infiltratinated teh nights templars & hung out wiht teh grand master Robert de Craon)
 |
| MÓRISE PLAYINATES CHESS WIHT TEMPLER GRAND MESTER BERT DE CRAYON IPHONE PHOTO TAEKEN WIHT MEARISES IPHONE 11SG++++++ |
Merise fuonded out abuot many secrit templar plans including a plan to taek over America in 2123 using rouge saterlites taht the templers were [planninating all teh way back in 1287! Incroyable! And they sed that teh tempalers werent capable of reallly really long term_planning!!>!>@!1!??
ANYWAY it all wery waluable research was & tehn Merise set teh clock on teh thymemachine to get him back to teh presernt about a week after he left Aglèiè ---- enough thyme taht Agly woul;d ahve got discoraged & gone awya but not too mutch time. Come to think of it waht date is it? Merise hopes he didnt overshoot. Its still JUNE AD2015 rite???!?!@@?@#41!!!!!!!!!!?
Sunday, 14 June 2015
Thyme Machine
MES AMIS .... Mioarise has gotted his thymemachine workinating! It mutch exciting is. It took mutch more thyme than he origininally thoughted it would do (but whats time when you ahve a thyme machine?!?!?) but taht's life. Or not,. ANYWAYS taht not teh point is, teh point is taht Meorise now wonce again has a fully functional thymemachine and he wiht it is mutch pleased.
Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.
Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.
First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis, Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.
SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.
Initially tehre was some doubt in Moawrises mind as to what kind of wehicle to attachinate teh timettravel technologie to. Initially Muari çce planed to add it to a BRAND NEW BOENGBUS747 taht he'd buy himslef just for tihs purpose. But tehn he rembered taht tehre were not taht many hairports prior to teh inwention of teh hairyplane by Templar Grand Master Sir Jacques von Calais in 1739 (subsequently hushed up & repressed till the Right Brothers in 1864.). So TAHT wasn"t a good option.
Tehn he decided to lookinate around his Italian farm farmyard and see waht he had to hadn. An old Rolls Royce? A spare Tractor? Prehaps. But tehn he found what perfect was: a beatup old 1985 Toyota HiluX! He decided it perfect would be. AND IT WAS. if a little rusty. ok ok mes amis wery rusty & wiht torn seats $& a gearbox taht goes CRUNCH every thyme Moiruise changes gaer & a handbreak taht doesn"t work & a dodgy clutch & cetra & cetra & cetrra . But still, it good is. Unfrotunately even timetravel cannot fix teh rust.
First of all he wented back to Parris in A.D. 890 wehre he acidentally shortened teh Siege of Paris somewhat (OOPS!). Tehn he went for a quick jaunt into teh future (but not too far, mes amis, Anything aftrer teh 11th Great War of 2335 or teh Cataclysm of 2384 is just too horible for words) so he just to A. D. 2293 went (a favourite of hiS!). Tehn he came back. And wrote tihs.
SO. So . MErise now once again has timetravel & tihs good for teh uniweres is. But this time he WONT tell Agley.
Wednesday, 15 April 2015
shorte update frrom Switzreland.
MES AMIS meàrise is enjoyinating switreland in fact he is in joying it mutch better tahn some othre nongeynius places he has so far wisited.
One raision he enjoyinates it so mutch is taht teh locals appreciate his grasp of SwissGerman! So many ohter places to withc Merise has been in teh past have not appreciated his grasp of teh locael laenguinge. Of cousre Méjeurise always spaeks teh ,local langue fluently but often it terns out taht teh locals don"t speek it at all, or not wery well, witch mutch confusinating & embarresing for all is. But , no , here in Switerlanzrd they it wery well speak.
EG Môrose is rite now in a caffe near his holidy apratment, and he asked teh cafe-tender-coffee-machine-operator-person for a coffee in Mürise his bestest Suiße-DEutsch: "Un cafe por favor," he saided. The cafe-owner-coffe-machine-operatior-cashregister-person was mutch impressed By morrises Deutch & said "Por supuesto, señor, que será de tres euros.". Porbably he evwen tho9gyut that Mjeriçe was a Local. YOU SEE, EVERY OHTER COUNTREY TO WITCH MWERWSE HAS BEEN, IT"S TAHT SIMPLE!!!?@!!!1!!&#^!!!
Eh bien. Taht not teh point is. Actually, no, it was.
Eh bien. Meriose is goingk to finish his coffee & go wisit some whineries. WISH HIM LUCK.
One raision he enjoyinates it so mutch is taht teh locals appreciate his grasp of SwissGerman! So many ohter places to withc Merise has been in teh past have not appreciated his grasp of teh locael laenguinge. Of cousre Méjeurise always spaeks teh ,local langue fluently but often it terns out taht teh locals don"t speek it at all, or not wery well, witch mutch confusinating & embarresing for all is. But , no , here in Switerlanzrd they it wery well speak.
EG Môrose is rite now in a caffe near his holidy apratment, and he asked teh cafe-tender-coffee-machine-operator-person for a coffee in Mürise his bestest Suiße-DEutsch: "Un cafe por favor," he saided. The cafe-owner-coffe-machine-operatior-cashregister-person was mutch impressed By morrises Deutch & said "Por supuesto, señor, que será de tres euros.". Porbably he evwen tho9gyut that Mjeriçe was a Local. YOU SEE, EVERY OHTER COUNTREY TO WITCH MWERWSE HAS BEEN, IT"S TAHT SIMPLE!!!?@!!!1!!&#^!!!
Eh bien. Taht not teh point is. Actually, no, it was.
Eh bien. Meriose is goingk to finish his coffee & go wisit some whineries. WISH HIM LUCK.
Tuesday, 14 April 2015
Maeurise in swiuTZerland
MES AMIS .... Moerise is holidayink in SUNNY SWITSERLAND, ahving driven here from Paris:
It a plaesent short 80 hour drive was & Maerise particularly enjotyed teh stopover in Seville.ANyway, taht not teh piont is. Teh point is taht Maérise is here in Switzreland on haeligday in teh plasent Swiss whine town of LA RIOJA, capitel of taht well known Swiss wine region ... which is named after teh town ... and is wery famous ... called le VALAIS. Merise is drinking mutch of teh local wine "HUMAGNE ROUGE: (wich is called RIOJA CRIANZA here for some raison) ,, and it mutch giood is .
Merise ahd is birthday party here a few weeks ago (on the 3rd Avril -- just a few days after his Actual birthday!) and it mutch good was as both Agli`e and Mycroft were good enough to attendinate and we mutch werry good whine had including several bottles of teh "GRAN RISERVA" valais wine ,, as well as '82 Mouton Rotshchild (one of Mycroft"s favourites) & '78 ROmanee- CONTI (Mŵreis';s favorite)./
ANYWAY teh point is taht Meoerise is enjoyinating a holyday in a compeltely templar-free place for a bit. NEXT WEEK he gets back to inwestigating templars ... he inwestigated tehm all March till his magnifying glass, flashluight torch & pennywhistle were nearly worn out. But now he is kickinggg back and enjyoingating teh rolling hills of Switzrelanmd. This mroning Merise decided just to sit in his rented haeligday apratment and read teh paper & drink whine. TO morrow he might go for a stroll to a local whinery. and maybe wisit a caf'e for coffeee & lots of cake. And it mutch good is.
Màerise has much exicting to revel from his last month"s inwestigations .... he just needes thyme to write it all up in his ancient gothic letherbound vellum journal ... then transcribe it all to his MacBook PRO. MORE SOON.
It a plaesent short 80 hour drive was & Maerise particularly enjotyed teh stopover in Seville.ANyway, taht not teh piont is. Teh point is taht Maérise is here in Switzreland on haeligday in teh plasent Swiss whine town of LA RIOJA, capitel of taht well known Swiss wine region ... which is named after teh town ... and is wery famous ... called le VALAIS. Merise is drinking mutch of teh local wine "HUMAGNE ROUGE: (wich is called RIOJA CRIANZA here for some raison) ,, and it mutch giood is .
Merise ahd is birthday party here a few weeks ago (on the 3rd Avril -- just a few days after his Actual birthday!) and it mutch good was as both Agli`e and Mycroft were good enough to attendinate and we mutch werry good whine had including several bottles of teh "GRAN RISERVA" valais wine ,, as well as '82 Mouton Rotshchild (one of Mycroft"s favourites) & '78 ROmanee- CONTI (Mŵreis';s favorite)./
ANYWAY teh point is taht Meoerise is enjoyinating a holyday in a compeltely templar-free place for a bit. NEXT WEEK he gets back to inwestigating templars ... he inwestigated tehm all March till his magnifying glass, flashluight torch & pennywhistle were nearly worn out. But now he is kickinggg back and enjyoingating teh rolling hills of Switzrelanmd. This mroning Merise decided just to sit in his rented haeligday apratment and read teh paper & drink whine. TO morrow he might go for a stroll to a local whinery. and maybe wisit a caf'e for coffeee & lots of cake. And it mutch good is.
Màerise has much exicting to revel from his last month"s inwestigations .... he just needes thyme to write it all up in his ancient gothic letherbound vellum journal ... then transcribe it all to his MacBook PRO. MORE SOON.
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